MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - You Ain't Keke Palmer

Episode Date: July 10, 2020

We're back for another solo ep this week! Sydnee and Marie talk if they believe in soulmates, Sydnee vision boards her wedding and tells of a difficult conversation she had with a family member this week.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, I said a hip hop hippie hip hip hop hip hop. You don't stop again. We did a bang bang Now what you hear is not a That song is from before my time. Yes Hello, hello. Hello We starting up top just gonna be a shorty. It's gonna be a short episode But tell them why, Sidney. It's going to be a shorty doo-wop. Because Sidney was supposed to come to my house yesterday to record the podcast.

And she was like, I'm going to bring somebody with me. And I was like, Sidney, we have work to do. And she was like, I'm coming with a plus one. And then we got here. And our plus one got us lunch. And I was like, well, we can't be disrespectful and just eat in front of her. And they'd be like, girl, you got to dash. Yes, my beach.

Please hush for 62 minutes. We are obsessed with you, Abby. We know you don't listen to the podcast, but thank you for lunch. Lynch. Thank you, Abby. And also, I need to go get my braids touched up because she's got a booking. She's booked for the week next week.

But also, when did you get here, friend? Because you said you was going to be here at 1030. I know, I know. I'm scrambling to get my company out of here before that time. I mean, friend, just like who has company on a Thursday morning? people who are cool it just doesn't make any sense cool niggas have company no it's real messy friend you're in a you're in a large yt baggy a large an extra large yt that's a t-shirt dress this is the the the outfit when you're like a mom of three and you're just trying to get

fucked before before you're you just had company no i showered this is me out in the shower friend okay well you know i want to start positive um because we most likely going in negative yo i got a sex lamp it is incredible we're calling it a sex it's a sec well you called it a sex lamp and i just was like it's a mood lamp but you sent me the link for yesterday let me see yeah tell them what it is let me see what the reviews yeah don't tell them where it's from it's a black business oh black owned is it yeah black owned business it feels like you're lying but okay yes support black owned businesses oh yeah yeah yeah you said don't tell them where it's from they know where it's from it's black owned though okay okay okay that's the price yeah

okay she's doing well if i order within 12 hours i can get it tomorrow yeah it's good marie it's good it is like incredible you can um it's like sound it like goes off of sound so the lights can change if you're playing music oh yeah you sync it to your like bluetooth or whatever yes and you do it from your phone and so i was playing you know the playlist and the playlist and i had the lights on and honey i gotta start an only fans for real i really i really gotta start another i am so good at what i do that yeah this this cocky sexy sydney is uh it might could be a problem for the rest of the quarantine it's pretty much a problem and i just want to say that if you're not looking at your vagina or body on a daily basis and being like damn i love this this

is wonderful you gotta you gotta change your whole mindset yep you gotta you gotta make direct eye contact with your butt naked self we just went through all of the hell and we still going through it but it's not as hard as it was like two months ago you this is the time to love yourself go all out you should go and love yourself yes and make you feel unpretty too no this yeah this is the time shave it all off um get the get the looks that you thought you were gonna rock and just take photos in your house have fun listen i'm all about taking some sexy nudes for yourself yeah you know for you for you and then if you if you so desire you can send them to somebody you could drop them in the group chat boom if you don't have a group chat that

that's unfortunate i don't even know i feel like you have bigger issues than we thought wow get you a group chat get you some people that are gonna gas you up be like bitch what oh my god wet emoji We can't be doing anything except the things that like make us happy right now. That's it. 100%. That's it. That's like a whole nother other Sydney right now. Nother other Sydney. Well, you have to. If you think that

you know, you don't have a job right now, start doing, start writing, start drawing, start finding things that you didn't have time for and just try to find the joy in that. Okay. Okay, my girl discovered arts and crafts.

On that poos. On that poos. Arts and crafts on that poos. She be putting glitter on it. Okay, paper mache, hon. Elmer glue. Elmer's glue. I mean, it's just like, what are we doing?

You got to take risks. If you think that it's silly or, oh, you're going to look stupid or nobody's going to like me. Unless it's racist, homophobic, transphobic, then you should do it. unless it's all three of those things you should be doing it okay wait so do whatever you want as long as it's not racist homophobic or transphobic yes yeah i think that's a word yeah it is a word yeah but also like somebody was somebody complimented me recently um he said that i

like i seem like i do whatever i want you do and i was like yeah i do because like realistically Basically, the only person whose opinion of me matters is me. Especially right now. Oh, what? And everyone's in their own head about their own stuff. Like, what am I worried about? Like, how people are viewing me right now. Like, they got their own stuff going on.

They sure do. They're not worried about me. People are so overwhelmed, they don't even have time to look at your grammatical errors. And the people who are looking at your grammatical errors, they're rich. And they're the 1%. And those are the enemies. Yeah. Those are our enemies.

Mm-hmm. so it's like just fucking live your life you know marie is marie is thriving hair is growing she's using neutral i am i don't think they bought any ads for this oh we didn't say that or if they did a word from our sponsors no no and better help and all of it But, yeah, I mean, I'm thriving, but I'm trying to do things that, again, bring me joy and stuff that, like, it's not going to require that much work. Like, I'm not trying to put that much effort into anything that I'm doing right now. Really? I got to put work into it?

I got to put my back into it? I got to break a sweat? Girl, I'm about to put my back into it. Your neck and your back, yes. Pew, pew, pew. It's a 22. Hold up. Wait a minute.

put a little coochie in it yeah um you know just life is not that bad right now do you sound this is people who are clearly having some kind of sexual situations going on well you have a whole sex life yeah this is people know that you're doing something yeah i will never say what i'm doing but just know i'm doing great well my my roommate uh took all her things out so now i have a two bedroom and um two bedroom two cats two bedroom two cats one bath and andrew is coming over today well today is thursday but tomorrow friday which is today right um cousin andrew uh oh that's right no cousin andrew is coming over black andrew black tall andrew yes not gay producer straight black tall exactly he's coming

And he's going to help me like rearrange my whole apartment. We're going to put curtains up. I don't know if we're going to do curtains in the kitchen, though. I don't know if I need to do that. I was going to say curtains in the kitchen, not necessarily. But I looked up and I was like, I have. Yeah, but I wasn't going to put no curtains in this room. Yeah.

And then people are like, you should. Yours are like, they're sheer. They're sheer curtains. They're not even there. It's their fake curtains. They're literally all the way sheer. It's chiffon. Yes.

It's silly. it's misty copeland skirt tool skirt curtains it works i mean people could see you in here naked friend i don't know what they can't yes they can they no one looks up here there's a giant tree in front of the building no one is looking down the second there's so many pervs there's so many quagmires around quagmires giggity giggity one day i wanted to like just stop by with my bike and just look up you're not gonna be able to see anything yeah also you pull up to the building You're not. You're not. Your reaction is not. Let me look up to the windows.

Well, when people don't have curtains, that's the first thing I do. Sure. But I'm so high up on this floor. You are not. Bitch, why are you acting like you're on a 52nd floor? I'm on the first. I'm on the second floor. But the ceilings are so like the ceilings are high. Yeah. Done on these niggas. Okay. These are the ceilings.

The windows are from the ceilings to the to the floor ceiling beach. yeah baby three of them and just so you know um we are not financially doing well so if you you know slide on over to the patreon where we're selling our gossip for five dollars an episode i am namey names i am i'm giving blow by blow action over there i think the last patreon was really good that episode we talked about the ring light on the yes yes we did so you got to go on If you want to hear more about what I'm doing, go on over to the Patreon. If you want to hear more about how I think she's doing.

The problem is somebody might listen and they're like, I'm going to go to the Patreon. And I'm like, darling, darling, I'm not talking about you. It's someone else. It's all lies. You know that I'm an actress. You know that I'm a writer, a storyteller. the tales that you'll be weaving friend do you think you're in love with me with who me oh no

but i know that you're in love with me how do you say that because you're in love with me the picture that you posted on the video you posted on instagram the other day of me doing sid can cook i was like look at sydney she's all over me all over me I do I was on the phone with someone and I said Marie really does make me happy in a platonic way and that person was like they're like so why don't you just go fucking date Marie no I'm not gonna date Marie that person sounds if you think you're lonely now waiting to wait for the beat to drop no damn i'm like you're like wait okay all right she's my sister soulmate soulmates don't have to be somebody that you're romantically attracted to

it could you believe in soulmates i do you don't think you don't think it's crazy how we met and how we like hit it off immediately and we've met so many people in between and nobody compares to us well that's because we're incredible friend and quiet up you said i'm incredible i said we're incredible oh you heard okay cool yeah are you sure huh come on marie you don't think you you've met so many people you're out in these streets ever like well before you were out before and you just so happened we linked up there was something because you was obsessed with me from the beginning bitch stop i don't even want to hear this shit i don't want to hear it you know so you think yes but sydney like at like there's so many people in the world that you're gonna meet

someone along the way or people along the way that you like or click with it's not necessarily like a big deal you know you cold-hearted black bitch you cold-hearted black bitch what's your don't don't act like what we have is not like um cosmically empowering and just y'all hear this out of this world y'all hear this love this is sydney reciting her vows to you black bitch don't act like what we have is in cosmically you don't you don't believe you don't do you have another friendship like this i'm gonna say it on the on the record what i'm gonna say i'm saying on record sydney show me show me who is like me nobody exactly nobody

yo sydney you are in a good mood this morning let's talk to the listeners what what you had for breakfast i literally had nothing okay we're running on fumes right now this is light-headed oh you might as well smoke like me friend marie what you running on dick what a night what a mother effing night we're tired of you just like throwing it in our faces that you're having on a regular we're tired do you have

anything else I will step away from the group chat and they be like oh Marie's having sex right now that's why she's not responding I'm not rubbing anything in anybody's face I mean I am rubbing something in somebody's face no pun intended not my friends so

Marie do you believe in love do you think you're going to get married kids i don't know if i want to get married like me i don't know if i need to get married and i don't know if i want kids okay so we just gonna use my okay wow i guess we're not soulmates you won't let me use my lip my lip balm because you'll be making out with the facetime you probably be licking your laptop screen i don't know you lick my laptop i know you don't be like wiping it down i do white man down it's on my playlist for this week's episode yo we need to get our little insecure yo we need to get it together fred we're we have hits and it's songs

sometimes that come up that i haven't heard in years years but marie's allegedly 25 what does music have to do with my age friend some people like oldies also most of the songs that i know i learned them in college uh-huh because my mom and dad weren't listening or wasn't letting us listen to some of the songs that you were listening to when you were in elementary school shut the fuck i was listening to a cd you remember those no not really cassettes oh yikes what is that like an a-track i think i think i want to i think i want to get married i think i want to have kids this is crazy this is such a complete 180 from what you were saying on the pod like a couple of months ago when we were in the studio really yeah i said that yes what did i say i was

you were like ah marriage doesn't like you think it's one person for everybody no people cheat that's what happened I didn't say cheating was not going to happen I'm just saying I want to get married you want to get cheated on with a ring on your finger

I do I want to be like she hurt me now I must buy everything everything pack your shit cause I was screaming

I was trying to figure out what the song is that I wanted to sing hey ladies when you may want to get buck wild just go and hit it

my style what is her name Blue Cantrell Blue Cantrell. Y'all have to go listen to that song. B-L-U. Blue Cantrell. It is a bop.

It is. Gotta hit him up. Gotta hit him up. My sister used to love that song. It's a good song. Hey, ladies. Yeah, I think I want to get married. And obviously, you're going to be my best man.

And I want you. Okay, let's talk about the wedding to the listeners. Let's vision board the wedding. Okay, so. Who, what, when, where, why? I would love a destination wedding. oh that's so crazy you have a whole set about how destination i know it's so fucking rude you are problematic but the thing is is that i am a black lesbian so you just like you just have to no you

don't you have to get married right here in the in the eastern on eastern standard time okay all right so what if i have a wedding in la but all my friends are in new york that's rude it is rude but i mean i don't know i'm just saying you're gonna have to do a reception in two different places yeah i might because the person i mean i don't know but the person that i might want to be with might be on the west coast who knows who knows wow did you hear this guy's destination winning i gotta make sure my passport is up to date i gotta get shots or whatever okay so what's the destinations top three destinations for a destination wedding well i would like to i would actually like to have it in portugal

that might be nice portugal you speak portuguese no okay but it would be cute and i would only invite like um 50 people only 50 and i've got 50 23 gonna come honey everybody's gonna want to come to this wedding everybody's not gonna come everybody's gonna people ain't got it like bad friend. Not everybody's a jet setter. Not everybody has passport puts on. You're not going to have your money together? Oh, I'm not talking about you. I'm not talking about me. You know, I'm going to buy the ticket

now and then like save it. Should we set a date now? We should just go to Portugal anyway. We should just go. How did Corona affect Portugal? Are they good? Because I just want, I want us to go on like, I don't have

anybody right now, but I feel like eventually I'll have someone and we could do like a double date trip i think that'll be fun we haven't done a double date trip yeah a couple's trip a couple's trip oh why did i get married three yeah yeah i think that he would be like fun to travel with yeah he seems so chill and he's smart like he'll google things but then you guys would both get high and then show up to dinner late he'd be googling stuff but like his spelling be wrong you know what i mean like we'd be like oh me yo me and him are the same you are so in love with me bitch you just got a light-skinned haitian version of me

a tall bearded oh bitch i mean i had a beard say what he looked like oh i had a beard i had a beard you were a beard i wasn't i am going you were a beard what if i kick you in the pussy right now okay dave chapelle that maybe oh i kicked her right in the pussy that's right that's where that came from i was like where did i why did i say that i don't know what is happening with my laptop i don't know friend uh i hope everything oh everything's fine whoo everything's still here um yeah sydney i would i would travel with you guys um so portugal is number one what are two other places potentially uh the maldives the maldives now what do we know about the maldives friends the maldives nothing i don't even think we could i could probably get married there because

i'm gay yeah i can't even bring extra thing you want to think about i can't even bring dildos and stuff over there really yeah vibrators you want to bring my sound bowl stick oh look at it but this looks yeah but that that doesn't seem sexy to use as a stand it down no friend that's some lube on it that feels wrong and problematic but it can be so right okay so let's uh shift um let's get into the negative stuff so i talked to my mother she called me okay and trigger warning i'm just giving you a heads up this is i don't know if people have bad relationships with their parents but most most people do i think yeah this is a decent amount of people this is gonna hurt some people because it it didn't hurt me until yesterday she called me the day before and she

you know i've been picking up her phone calls now because you know she was blocked for a long time and so she's been calling i didn't even call my brother for his birthday i gotta his birthday it was um like last thursday i think so like a whole week ago yeah i'm trash about a week ago yeah you are trash because you'll be on instagram and you'll be putting full collages slideshows for other people's birthdays i feel like yeah no i don't do slideshows anymore just yours but anyway uh she called and she was like i just want to know why we don't speak like what did i do wrong you know i should have done better as a mom like going down this rabbit hole of bullshit then it gets to the point where we're talking about my niece and she's like oh she's trying

to have another baby and i was like oh well what is she doing is she doing in vitro because isn't she gay and she's like gay she's not gay she loves all the dick and i was like whoa your mom my mom said that and she's and she's like yeah she's not gay you're the joke of the family now it's just you and i said oh oh oh oh okay wow wow oh why don't we talk anymore okay we don't even talk anymore yeah that yo cindy we gotta get this playlist together because the water runs dry That's a good fucking Boyz II Men song. I'm trying to remember the rest of the words. Yeah, so she said that I was a joke.

What did you say when she said that? I said, are you homophobic? I was like, I don't understand what the problem is. I'm gay and okay. She's like, yeah, everybody makes fun of you that you eat pussy. And I said, yeah, I do. Your mom said this to you? That's how she talks to you?

Off the rails. She's unwell. She's clearly unwell. My mom pussy. Yeah, I couldn't believe the words that was coming out of her fucking mouth. she said that in her church lady uh show i don't know she was feeling some type of way and then i was like you sound really homophobic i don't know you need to work that out she's like i know that when i die i i will have never been with a woman and i said that's why you're gonna be alone maybe

you should have tried a woman you could have had somebody you could have had somebody she didn't like that um and then she called me to tell me oh well i just want to let you know i signed the papers they're gonna send my body off to california so that i could be buried with my mother i don't want a funeral and you don't have to worry about having to cancel your things to come to my funeral and i was like is she dying girl remember when she told me she was dying seven years ago i feel like your mom is like has an obsession with telling you that she's dying and then not that's gotta be a that's what i told her that's what i told her i said oh you're dying again she said yes the doctor had gave me a date but the doctor gave you a date when you were gonna die

girl bye get help therapy i know that you're in your 60s but you can still try i was in her 60s yeah and so um she was just saying all these things and she was just like you know i should have done more so that you could be successful and i was like well i'm working towards success right right i'm doing things and she's like are you and i said yes i am she's like well it's not like you're no kiki palmer what kiki palmer that's where your mother that's the benchmark kiki elizabeth palmer yes no shade to her you know she is doing some things sorry to that man sorry to that man yeah um but okay and what did you and i said i don't want to be kiki palmer i've been on tv before she's like well your family's never seen it and i said but i have

And I said, I'm working on things and I'm I'm doing that. She's like, but you're on unemployment. I said, everybody is on unemployment. Yo, what is your mom pandemic going on? So what's going through your mind when you are on the phone with her? Are you like, come on? You're I'm pissed. I'm so I was like, this is why I don't talk to you.

Yeah, this is exactly why we don't have a relationship. Right. Look how you're talking to me. Yeah. Nothing is uplifting. She's just like antagonizing you. Yeah. You're like, you're such a bitch. You're trying to get a reaction. You're so mean. Yeah. and then I was like trying to prove that I am and I was like why am I trying

to name this stuff that I've done I was like I was on video it's like just dumb I was going through it I was totally unraveling do you even watch Broad City yes I said that too wait this is last night this is the day before

oh okay I was talking about Broad City yesterday too it hurt me I was like I was like am I gonna cry and I was like No, I'm not crying on the phone with this. With this woman. With this woman. The person who birthed me.

Yes. Because I don't even want to call her my mother anymore. No. Mama, you know, I love you. I hate you. I love you. Mama. Mama, you're the heat of my heart.

Oh, I love that song, too. That's another Boyz II Men. Yes. That's a lot of people when they get married and they're black. That's the song that they dance. to with their mom yeah yeah i don't know that anyway mother dance um it so where did you leave it with your angry ass black ass i was upset and then i realized i paid my own phone bill and i hung up you hung up on her i hung up on her i said i gotta go click that's it i'm not i'm not

doing this with you i mean it's unnecessary too you don't have to just mean just downright outright mean and you know i was like i'm making so many like moves and i'm transitioning into the person that i want to become and how dare you try to bring me back bring me back into that bad space and it's crazy how the people closest to not closest to us but like our family members are the people who can hurt us the easiest right like naturally you want to prove to her what you done but it's like you don't have to prove anything to anybody everything that you do is for you right yeah at the end of the day you know what you're doing and you know what you're working towards i couldn't believe like what are you on you you are so like miserable she's just a

miserable person and it and that is what's pushing me to be like girl you have got to get your happiness in order you don't want to be that bitter sad delusional unwell person also like old like old school mentally like dated yeah it's 2020 no one who has a well-rounded view of the world thinks like that no or talks like that no or and also kiki palmer like really kiki palmer Did you ask your mother if she saw Oscars? She said Kiki Palmer. It's not like you know Kiki Palmer. That's the title of the episode.

That's the title of the episode. It's not like you're some Kiki Palmer. It hurt, Maria. I was going to call you, and then I was like, you know what? Let me just stay in it. If you called me, I'd be like, well, do you know Kiki Palmer? And you say no, and I'd be like, well, I guess she's got a point there, friend. I would have made you feel better for sure.

She just was like. You want to you want to have a family because I see people who are very close with their family, like Carolina, and, you know, it's beautiful, it's it's it's a wonderful thing to watch people who talk to their parents on a regular basis. But then I'm just like, that's not my story. And it's OK. That's that's fine. I mean, it's not a lot of people's stories. There are people who like they don't go home for the holidays. They don't celebrate Mother's Day or Father's Day. they just they're not close to their families and that is a normal sadly part of like the way that people live their lives yeah but also hurt people hurt people you know it's a lot of we don't know what random trauma your mother went through and she's just trying to pass that down to you and then it's not expecting you to pass it down to others but like people who are miserable want everyone around them to also be miserable honey well you better take that you better ease on down

a yellow brick road with for something else with somebody else because you're not doing it with me not me who pays 86 for my at&t phone bill every month late six dollars 86 wow yeah it should be it should be less well i mean yeah it could be how much you pay 50 like 52 damn okay i'm gonna talk to them and see what they could do you know i'm at i'm with verizon so it's just fucking it just hurt it hurt it hurt to like hear that and also want to have to prove myself I'm like this is just a bad time to come at me do you not know what's going on in the world at all the fact that she was like well you're on unemployment you're not doing well she said this to you while she was on her Obama phone like waiting for her uh to certify her claims for the week and I didn't go

off on her because i was like you survived covid so now we verified that she had it she did yes she did okay she definitely had it she's in the hospital to be acting sometimes she does but my my brother definitely was like mom is in the hospital she does death have covid and i said you have covid too the brother that you didn't call on his birthday yes i'm gonna call him full circle full circle bitch yeah so i'm just here to let you guys know that this is this is a a moment where you know people are gonna try to come in your life shake you up try to shake the table in the worst way and bring you down to where they're at and it's just like listen a rose grows in the concrete but a tree also grows in brooklyn and i don't have time for any falls in the woods

and no one's there is sydney in brooklyn show the rice hashtag show the rice i was gonna say something before you said ah i'm sorry friend profound i don't know what it is um but yes and you don't have to prove what you're going through to anybody also you're in a better place now for a conversation like that than you were this time last year yeah most definitely and that's what i'm that's what i'm most proud of but again it just makes me value my friendships more because you know if I do have a wedding you know I don't

have a dad that's going to walk me down the aisle my mother is not invited but I have I mean I don't think she would come friend I don't want her to marry to a female she would say female she would say female and I'm just I'll just you know

I'll have you be my best man and my dad oh you want me to walk you down the aisle and then stand next to you i'm gonna borrow my dad oh samuel if it's destination he never comes i just wait say it i just got i just get lit off damn bitch the ghetto no that's a parade for um essential workers it is really no sis it looks like a fire truck you bitch you liar liar liar pants on fire i had a fire truck um well i'm glad that you were able

to hang up on your mom that was beautiful whoo the amount of times that i wanted to hang up on my mom but my mom is just you know my mom is a good mom she's just she's just annoying i love i love your mom actually and so i'm just i'm just i make my family elsewhere and it's fine you know but you have it like sydney you you have a giant tribe yeah your pod is a large it is big booty pod and that's why i'm like i am ready to like venture out and settle down start my own family oh what babies no no not a baby but i'm just saying like adrian is still my emergency contact so it's weird it's weird i mean i mean i think it's weird i love

her she's she's she is my friend marie has no comment no i have no comment at this time no you plead the fifth one two three four um we haven't even hit 45 minutes yet friend um you know that's just fine sydney is trying to treat our main podcast like the patreon but guys you got a lot of you guys are not commuting to work anymore so do you really need to hear us for 60 minutes you surely don't because it's a little a moose boosh a little charcuterie board of an episode yeah i like when you guys hear us and be like i want more what else you know because that's how they felt the last episode they were like wait get into that ring light on the pussy some more yeah yeah y'all were dming me and i was like i'm

not saying ring light on the pussy um yeah that was a fun that was a fun time yeah um sit can cook was a fun time yes thank you so much marie for stopping in and uh making an appearance that's not good wow you put lemon on the chicken we we thank you for that yes yes yes but then i seasoned it for the next day it was much better yeah it was much better thank you sometimes you just gotta let it sit um i still have a piece of uh pumpkin pie left i'm gonna have you made apple pie apple pie yes what did i say pumpkin you know what i meant i'm gonna have uh some apple pie today and then you can have your container back okay um i also bought my own apple so i can do my own apple pie look at me inspiring niggas i mean i've cooked things that you like i cooked fried rice

yeah because of how you guys did it i never made that before and then i made something else recently that you had done on your show and i was like well sid can cook taught me you're doing the lord the lord's work can you come back yeah i'm gonna get another wig and then i'm gonna come back ah you killed it in that red wig the whole look i'm gonna do a different it was just incredible you are a character i'm gonna show up and i'm gonna be a different character what well what's your next character i don't know i might do like a missy elliot like short wig you know and then just show up like real goth with it you know i'm gonna show up and have one like one of those puffy missy

elliot no it's too hot in my kitchen yeah also it's too small i'm gonna be me i'm super fly but i would like you real gothy because i'm a creep who's the one that they say rihanna stole her whole swag from what do you mean fifi something oh fifi dobson yeah i'm gonna show up in my fifi dobson garb that would be nice actually i could see you doing that like a dark lip because you do that anyway uh-huh yeah and then like like we're like pasties okay so a little kim moment yeah i would like that for the sit can cook and then it'd be so hot that the pasties fall off and then it's the only fans what would you do what would i do if i was on your live and let's say it's 200 people watching at the moment and my pasty just falls right off then it would go to

a thousand people they would be sharing the live people would be screenshotting it they'd be screen recording it yeah and that you know it would take like a second for us to realize yeah and then i would save it and put it on my instagram tv oh wow that's it soulmates you don't think we're soulmates Marie I don't know if I believe in I don't know if I believe in soulmates in that way I feel like I I can believe that there's somebody out there for everybody like a person for everybody but you don't I think that you don't necessarily meet that person like you're not guaranteed to meet your soulmate because you guys might not ever cross paths but I'm literally in your face girl literally girl i don't believe that you're my soulmate friend um my soulmate

the haitian in you will not allow you to be honest and that's fine hashtag haitians are liars all you do is be haitian and lie and lie thank y'all um okay friend whatever i'll be your best man though i'm gonna show up i'll come to portugal or the maldives or what was the third location I don't remember Wisconsin A ranch in Wisconsin No I said LA Santa Barbara

Santa Barbara Okay Fancy pants This is all lies You have a Pinterest I'm gonna go to City Hall You have a Pinterest Wedding board

No The way that you're smiling I'm not The way you're showing All of your teeth right now Makes me feel like you're lying I don't have a Pinterest I don't care

No I don't I'm just like I don't know I'm just like excited i'm glad you're happy throughout all of the bs that you and your mom had to talk about bitch um yeah i said i said what i said bitch um i mean yeah i mean we can't change our parents we don't pick them no they don't pick us so they some of us some of them didn't even want us so some of

them tried to abort y'all and you were born anyway miracle baby um but yeah some didn't want who they have and they have who they have whatever it doesn't matter life is short do what brings you joy dress how you want to dress uh if you want to wear a long white t-shirt after you have sex for eight hours uh then do you friend if you want to put a ring light on your pussy do that if you don't want to have sex with anybody and you like you enjoy your own company then do that too that is great actually i commend you on that do that too um if you're attracted to somebody and you haven't told them i feel like tell them tell them now they're vulnerable we locked up and listen listen i need you to hear me right fucking now okay if you've been talking to somebody

for most of the quarantine okay and then all of a sudden you're like i don't want to do this no more shame on fucking you if you talk to somebody for more than 21 days in this time you guys go together no you go together because we might be talking to multiple people you go together you guys are in a full relationship you're married now that's it you have exactly seven days to return whatever you've been doing with this person return to sender no and i'm gonna completely disagree with sydney right there if you are talking to somebody and it's been most of the quarantine and you changed your mind you're allowed to change your mind no if you have been talking to somebody and you made a promise that you was gonna meet them and you was gonna do all

this nasty dirty stuff to them after the quarantine was over you they asked you to pee on them you said yes they asked you to spend the night and uh with tape on your mouth you said yep you can do whatever you can change your mind if you want friend if you don't want to be there you don't have to be there no means no i'm a woman i'm allowed to change my mind and sometimes if you're a man you're allowed to change your mind not not really not if you're a straight man but you know we can do what we want to do friend and we should do what we want to do as long as it doesn't affect anybody it is affecting me no it's not you on to the next yeah you're right right next level new level better level whatever level upgrade yeah whatever okay well i'm glad we got

through this um this is beautiful um you you want to leave you don't want to final word you don't want to admit that i'm your soulmate but that's fine um you basically are dating someone who is me but a man yo it's so wild like i offered him water this morning and i was like do you want water and i was like no you don't want water you don't he was like yeah i mean i could go for some oh this was last night he was like i could go for some soda i was like soda i have water here i i love him really it's just we have water he's my brother he is my brother we're happy but i did say sydney's not drinking red bull anymore and he was like red bull yuck no well i will be in his dms today and i said what's your problem with red bull

oh that's right i am how many days in eight yeah seven seven nine nine this is the ninth right today's the ninth yes yeah nine nine days without red bull we're doing it high five you've never looked more moisturized yeah and you know my anniversary is coming up on the 21st of July three years what are we doing for your silverversary I don't know we'll go to

look Adrian's calling me right now okay well Sydney's other wife is calling so we gotta go Sydney's other soulmate wow thank you so much for being here I'm glad that I made it even though I was here yesterday yes you were here yesterday

but it's fine you're here now i heart you sm even sm soulmate even goes with snm do you see that okay sm snm okay soulmates but i think soulmate is is one word right alexa is soulmate one word i feel like it's one word friend whatever yeah anyway uh thank you for i love you friend my platonic ass soulmate yes my platonic soulmate yeah yeah soulmate yay i will come to your wedding friend i would do anything for love but i won't do that that that's that's rude okay nasty she was holding my hand guys just want you to know she's gross cindy try to touch my titty please leave i want you to leave Okay, I'm going.

I need you right now to go get your hair braided in wherever you're going. Okay. Sydney, you're doing great. You're doing great. You're basically Kiki Palmer. Yes. A degree of separation from Kiki. And you're just a black boy.

She lived in a two-bedroom apartment in East New York. And had two cats. And two cats. That's it. Yes. You're basically. If you could spell, you would be Kiki Palmer. Me personally.

Personally me? Mm-hmm. Kiki Palmer. Yes. uh shout out to everybody for listening and making it this far we heart y'all please go to the comment yes yes rate comment subscribe leave comments please we love comments please please please we're gonna read them in the next one the next episode oh yeah people were sending me stuff to read and i screenshot it and then i did not pull my phone okay so we'll do that next episode we'll

do it next time yes uh come see us on the patreon where uh names live yeah where we name names the The Messiest Mess Happens. It's not that messy. Manifest Your Mess is on the Patreon. Is it? Yeah. Hearted. Okay.

They sweeping the street outside my window. We got to go. Bye, Brent. Bye, Sydney. Bye, Ramona. Dead to us. Soulmates. Ew, scissoring fingers.

Bye. Bye. Forever. Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram, at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.