MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - You Gotta Zag w/ Stavros Halkias

Episode Date: January 22, 2026

This week messties you're in for a real treat, because Syd and Marie sit down with STAVROS HALKIAS! The three talk family mess, childhood mess, and YOUR MESS. Don't forget to check out this episode and more on our NEW YOUTUBE!  https://www.youtube.com/@oohmess And as always, write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air!     See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you want to watch the episode oh of course you do so click the link in the episode description oh you're listening to mesh wow goodness so many cute people here yeah we're in a new studio studio we got a new person in the building and you can see them wow very and highly requested Really? Highly requested. Wow. Oh, we got to have him on the bar. You got to have Stoddy, Stoddy.

I was at the Cellar the other day. I'm mad, by the way, that you didn't tell me it was fun hat day. Fuzzy hat day. Well, we wanted to see your bald spot. I mean, I am growing my shit out. How would people know it was you if you had a hat on? They would not know. I love that you're only growing it out in the back.

And that's a conscious decision. That's all me. That's what's in. back hair out front hair it's out it's out it's literally our lines have ruled for too long yeah what was it business in the front party in the back yours is literally unemployed in the front make it in the front wow someone's pronouncing words for the first time i've never said that word out loud also english is not my first language

yeah neither and oh yeah well you know what how to say that word because you are that that is true yeah i have lived a vagrant lifestyle hold on where were you born greek is my first language that's your i was born here but my parents were right off straight from greek greece immigrants and so i spoke greek first like i went to there's videos of me going to kindergarten and i'm like hello everybody how are you doing you you were grew yeah yeah for real okay well silent you know ice is out there that's right they taking y'all too my dad could get deported yeah no absolutely he's not a citizen no no you saying that on the record yeah he failed his test he was he got mad he's not a big speller my father but he knew the answer well you know

you know and then he got mad that they failed him and he was like fuck you i don't want to be an american anyway he kind of did that move and then he stayed for 32 years and now he's been here forever and now i'm like hey go to greece like why not this is the time and he's like no i'm good now well because he knows if he leaves he might not be able to come back yeah but what for what what do you want we got a big talk over here i'm out of here listen my mom is the same my mother is the same way yeah she's not a citizen she's been here all these years she's like i'm going back to haiti but she's not really gonna go she's not giving up her toyota sienna she's not giving up You know, hook you.

Sienna's nice. You know, there's a lot of storage space in the Sienna. I like to get a... Man. I like to get... I grew up on minivans myself. Dodge Grand Caravan. That's right.

The one with the wood paneling on the side? No, no. I coveted that. We had the generation right after. It was all, like, kind of space-age bubble. Yeah. All gold. It's pretty sick.

This is out of my wheelhouse. You know, I grew up in a station wagon. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my dad had a station wagon. So, you know, real low. But that's the New York person. A lot of polishing. There weren't fans around in the city, I feel like.

Station wagon is like if you grew up in a town. Yeah, I was in Oakland. I was in Oakland, California. I was born here on, you know, New York soil. I did not realize that. And then went to Oakland when I was two. So, I am a New Yorker. But, you know, I had real grass and trees and air and whatnot.

Wow, we got revelations all over the place. I had no idea. Not to bring this up. Hold on. Hold on. What you about to say rude? Say it. What state was the house you burned down?

It was in Oakland, California. Thank you, Stobby. That's out of curiosity. You love talking about my past. Yo, in New York, it would have been a building. It would have been a building. It would have been like the Great Chicago Fire. It would have been the Great Sydney Fire.

Takes out a whole neighborhood in New York. That actually got a ring to it. The Great Sydney Fire. You might have to do that. A Great Sydney Fire. sounds beautiful that sounds nice so you're a california arsonist not a new york state arsonist it's not on her record here you know that that falls off after seven years yeah yeah i'm delivered wow holy shit wait when

did you what so how so you grew up there when did you move here you know like when i was 13 they said ain't no house so you can go back there you're literally literally burn the house down if There's no house to leave. You know, it's just... Then he gets on the plane covered in soot. Oh, man. They're like,

are we doing blackface again? No. What? Double blackface? Blackface is back. Then he's on the plane like, can I have another Biscoff? They didn't have Biscoff back then.

It was just nuts. Oh, you're right. That was a dark... Pretzels and nuts. Just pretzels and nuts. Tough stuff. You know, we're living big lives now. Yeah, yeah.

All right, well, let's get this thing a little stordy. Yeah, let's get it stordy. They gave us a coffee table. girl you can't even tell us nothing it took us it took us some time but we here you know usually you're hosting so are you gonna let some ladies do their job today i'm sorry i'm happy to absolutely please i was just like let's get into how that happened yeah i was like is he turning it on me now is he asking me i'm filing this away for when you come back on my podcast oh lord jesus

there'll be a lot of california and we never we have shockingly never gotten into the fire No, it's just titties, titties, and cocaine. Titties and cocaine, we've moved on now. We have to start somewhere. A memoir. Yeah. So, Marie, what was your mess this week? Well, my mess currently, and I don't really know if this is messy.

I don't know if I'm keeping this hat, right? So, I did tuck the tag into the hat and took it for a spin. Okay. I just, you know, is that mess? Wearing something that you don't know if you're going to keep and then sending it back? No. Because you actually don't keep it? No, not at all.

Is it messy? It's not messy. I mean, I think it's messy if you're, like, sweating in it. You got, like, you know, makeup and, you know, secretions and stuff. That's nasty. Secretions. Secretions. Bringing secretions back.

Did you just learn this word? I know secretions. He's like, I know secretions well. Secretions have just caught me off guard. Okay, why? You've never met a woman using that kind of vermin? How are the secretions getting on the hat? What is she up to?

That's what I'm holding on to. I'm wiping myself My opponent Let's do it Right here My opponent Yeah, I suppose I could do that

You could do that I mean, I feel like Wearing stuff and sending it back Is Revolve's whole model Girls buy stuff on Revolve Wear it to an event And then be like I don't

Yeah It's community It is It's community-driven fashion You know, everyone gets a turn with the hat Socialism, but also Socialism for fuzzy hats But also consumerism

But also it's like the thing about being a woman is like you're you're allowed to change your mind so and i do that and i do it 17 times a day literally and only women are allowed to do that just no where's the masculinity and oh i don't know oh maybe maybe feels queer you know Maybe it's queer. It's bi. Maybe it's by definition bisexual. Go either way.

Is there anybody you think you would go gay for? Or bi for? Kind of jumped. Yeah. That was a leap friend. From your hat. Yeah. I don't know.

I've told this story before, but there was like one guy who reminded me of a friend's ex-girlfriend who had the same energy. He was like a little blonde guy. And I was like, would I get head from this guy? If you're getting head, it's not gay. Oh, yeah. that's the ancient greek model i mean you do a little philosophy greeks invented gay yeah we were we invented a lot of stuff for the record yeah but didn't y'all invent anal

yeah i think so i think we got doing the i don't know if we invented or if we just chronicled it you know i feel like put it on paper and we're fucking cavemen were not doing anal they didn't have poppers they were and they didn't have lubricant i feel like the cavemen were so dehydrated there's no way they were doing it Unless they was taking snails and then, you know what? Snails? Getting a little slug, like, what's your buddy here? Some snail secretion?

Yes, snail secretion from high snails. I think your humanity is very resourceful. And one of the main things people have done throughout time has been horny. And done anal? Figured out how to fuck every which way, in my opinion. Now, ancient Greece, probably once olive oil came around, was that the first lube? you know that's that's a good question your mind your mind cavemen maybe they had some they warmed up some saber tooth fat some woolly

cavemen were banging pterodactyls they were not putting their penises in books i think you guys are very naive i'm not naive everything i'm not i'm just like if you if you live in a cave how could you get horny i can't i can't get a homeless dude with a girlfriend this is true but they're not living in a cave they're in a box they're not in a cave a cave just feels so a cave is holier than a box huh a box doesn't get warmer with nature i would say the cave you're with nature you're more animal an animal like i think i think if anything you are hornier than because you're stripped of everything else but your base existence and you know about this this is your lifestyle so i feel like you're very close to my homeless you know okay uh i have been crashed i've

spent some time crashing with friends. I just got to say, I really got to compliment you for the color of the fit today. The fit is fly. Who gave that to you, Emma Stone? No, this is not a begonia wrap present. No, you know, it's tracksuit season. This is the cleanest I've

ever seen you style. You're really doing it up for the ladies. You said, let me put some lotion on for these. You put on shea butter? Yes, you did. It's winter time. I do get dry during the winter. Yes, that's true. I don't summer lotion, but I do winter lotion.

Because you sweat. I don't know why. I've never interrogated it, but yeah. I feel your glands, they be glands. They be working. I feel like you.

They be secreting. Yeah, that's true. That's true. So, Marie, you're thinking about returning it or no? I am thinking about returning it,

but as soon as I walked in here, everybody at the front desk was like, love your hat. Yeah, no, it's cool. It's good. Yeah. It's a good hat.

I think you should keep it. My sister called it boneless because this is very thin. No. But also, I could like, I could change it. I could be Darkwing Duck. Or you could be a pimp.

It could be Carmen Sandiego. It is pimpcore. It is pimpcore. There's so much you could do with it, so I should say keep it. Keep it. You're both rocking sort of like, I remember like a pickup artist that era

where it would be like guys in dumb hats would like neg women. Like, do you remember that era where it was like you had to dress stupid and be like, nice shirt, you dumb bitch. I feel like that's what y'all do now. I'm like, yesterday? with particular air

I don't subscribe to the game I don't subscribe to that style of speaking to women you don't have to you do this and you make money and they'll know you and they'll be like oh my god stop but if I didn't you would think I'd have to insult women and sort of prick them into

having sex with me is that what you're saying no because I don't think that would work you can't be mean and not hot they do that they do that you can be mean and not hot and not have money i'm sorry i'm sorry i meant to say you can't have mean and not hot and not have money there's so many comedians who are like that true it's rude but you're not you're different you're not like those guys i guess you're a sweetie you are thank you now you don't look like you're gonna be but

you are that is actually of the superpowers think you set the bar low visually and then you just come across as a totally different person. I do like that. I set the bar high visually and then I match what people think of me. Right off the bat. And then it's like, oh, she's probably mean and I'll be like, what are you looking at? And they're like, he's mean.

She yelled at me, I love it. They do. They're obsessed with you being mean. I'm trying to find it in me to be a bitch this year. So I'm working on it. I'm working on my bitchy energy and it didn't work. I was in the Uber today and I really just wanted this Uber driver

to shut the fuck up but he was just talking about how you know he's not making enough money and he's got kids and he's like Cooper's a scam and I was like I'm gonna give you two dollars sir I don't know what you want or you in the backseat like hey

hey zip it here's two bucks if you shut the fuck up till the fucking end I said I'll Venmo you two dollars if you shut the hell up but now I want to amend what I said originally because you said he don't got no money he got kids you can't have bad pullout game and also not have no money i think actually it pairs

well i feel like it goes hand in hand you're you're pulling in you're pulling out you don't care you got nothing to live for that's the thing it's like the caveman thing all you have is how good it feels to fuck yeah so in those moments that's the only time you're truly alive you're broke and you have nothing going for you and you get greedy and you want an extra second of of having sex you're right that's when it comes down i get it that's always the driest i've ever been is when shit is just terrible awesome yeah just sandpaper just then maybe this is a this is a a difference because i do think a a guy no matter how broke is never if anything you want to fuck even more because you can't oh yeah what they call them hobo sexual you gotta pray for them

begging for roof yeah you fuck for shelter yeah that's shout out to all the people doing that so you know and that's what i'm saying i'm like when i see these men's out here you know just unhoused it's like and some of them you know it's out you know you could see it it's eight inches like sir you should be housed like wow you know there's there's men in homes with that are not having eight inches five and a half you think there should be some got the The housing and urban development should have some kind of database. And depending on how much your dick is, that's how many, like, square footage you get. Let's get Thoron.

Thoron. Oh, Thoron. That should have been in the plan for him. I mean, he would have had a lot more votes. Get the hung. He won. He won, but I'm saying it would have been. Also, I don't think homeless people would big dicks vote.

You'd be surprised. They're still. What an awesome sentence. They're still certified. They're voters. But the little dick homeless guys do vote? Is that what you're saying? I'm just saying, I don't think that's what they're thinking about.

They don't know it's November whatever. You'd be surprised. They can read. They see the stickers. How do they know what voted? They're like, hey, can I borrow that? How do they know what their district is if they box shit from street to street? That is true.

Listen, they'll talk to the right people. There's always people flyering, too. They find out. I think what you're talking about, though, is I think, Sydney, again, that's that's where big dick confidence goes wrong. You know, someone with a huge dick, this life, they've been on easy. They didn't think they had to go to ITT Tech. You know, they didn't think they had to go. They didn't have to get some kind of.

So and by the time they know it, yeah, probably in their youth, they can, you know, use their their huge hog to carry them through life. Is that what you call a huge hog? That's how you can call it a hog. That's very Caucasian of you. Hog. No, what? Cock. White people love saying cock.

Cock. Yeah. Rock out. Cock out. I think that's what, I think this is just big dick confidence gone wrong. Now, I think we really

should be highlighting the tragic case of the small dick homeless man. Because he doesn't even have a big dick and he's on the streets. Yes, but he should have applied himself.

If you're Dick Little, read a book. pick up a book if the dick is small how can I concentrate on words when I'm thinking like why lord

why my lord what have I done you need philosophy yeah you need to yeah rationalize your little ass dick let me tell you

when I had when I had the smallest chest that's all I could think about really yeah when I just had like two bee stings I could not focus

I was in school really I was in school all the girls they were wearing Victoria's Secret bras and filling them out and boyfriends

and everything and I had to be with a guy named T-Mu. T-Mu? T-Mu. T-Mu? T-Mu. And now he runs

the whole website? Now he's rich. Because his dick was little. No, that was not true. Shout out to T-Mu. He had a nice hog. He was 6'4", and he had a keyboard.

He was very talented. A keyboard? I talked about this on Unofficial Expert. He had a vest, a Drew Hill vest. Okay, so why are you throwing him under the bus?

I'm just saying. 6'4", big dick, you don't have no titties whatsoever? Yeah, but the broad neck. I think you were doing pretty good. He's like, the girls had titties and boyfriends.

I had T-Mu. So he had a weird name, but a nice big dick, and he could dunk? I never saw it. Oh, you never saw it. No, you never saw it. It was a tic-tac. You never saw it. It was upsetting because his hair was never done,

and his teeth were the color of Tim's. I see, I see. Oh, T-Mu's teeth. Yeah, the teeth were, and they were very space. And so, you know, other than that, he was a nice guy. Sidney, all I'm hearing is you being ungrateful. You had a whole boyfriend And I did not have a boyfriend

And he was 6'4 And he was 6'4 He wanted to be my boyfriend I said no He kept singing Ribbon in the sky Ribbon in the sky You were at recess

Rubbing a couple sticks together Trying to start While he's singing Getting kindling together While he's singing You're looking at his butter teeth Ribbon in the sky I said there needs to be

Some toothpaste In the rough in the sky Because brother You need some press wipes what's your mess okay my mess okay my mess is you know i gotta get i gotta go to bed i do not go to bed and then i go down these really dark rabbit holes have you heard of water cremation no no it sounds like water water cremation is a fucking thing and it's sick it's sick basically they put you in one of those glad bags okay no no they put you in a sleeping bag and basically you're

boiling you yeah they put like you are inside and you basically you're cooking your corpse not yeah you're already dead you're not doing it a lot okay i like to sign up for some water cremation can i be alive i would like to see it happen yeah yeah you're thinking about lobsters right now yeah yeah true pretty much that's what it is sebastian do-do-do-do yeah he's a crab i'm the same way i thought he was a lobster my whole life i think he should have been he looks like a lobster yeah because the guy had a weird hand when he sketched it but it's a crab isn't sebastian a crab i know they call him that but my whole life gun to my head if you tell me it's a lobster i couldn't help he looks like a lobster because he's red yeah so uh you're red as well

Sorry to cut you off But I saw all these simulations Of what it's like to be Water cremated It's better for the environment and what not I need to know how I want to know what rabbit hole How you ended up there

Yeah why cremation Water cremation Yeah water cremation Wet cremation Hey girl how wet are you I feel like Jacquees had, or was it Little Wayne? Somebody had said cremation as a...

Entendre for... Yes. Because of cream? Because they're cooking you or beating it up or... Interesting. Because you're dead? I cremate the pussy, something like that? Yes, something like that.

Interesting. We're going to find it. We're going to find it. I can see mid-2000s Little Wayne dropping that. I'm going to find it and I'm going to come back. He's on the back of the bus like, oh! Yeah, absolutely. Bard.

He's very talented. Anyway, so I watched that And they're trying to, and there was, like, there's this mortician on TikTok who's basically, like, trying to, like, sell this as a thing because it's better for the environment. Mortician on TikTok. Wait, so, talk to us. They put you in a sleeping bag. They boil you in a pot, basically. And then what happens to you after they boil you?

You shrink? No. I mean, someone did a simulation of putting, like, a turkey leg or whatever into a little cup and basically putting, I think you have to put a certain type of, like, alkaline water in it. And then you boil it, and basically it gets all the meat and the fat. It melts off, and then it's just bone. Wait, then you crush the bone with a mortar and pestle? Yeah, you make guacamole. You make fresh guac with the bones.

You dos caminos the bones. Why not just burn the body? Listen, it's actually terrible for the environment. That actually sounds real. But you know what's so fucked up is that all the cremation water they pour that into the rivers and the lakes that you're used to. That's tough. Cindy, that's the worst for the environment. So we're drinking dead people.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no. I got a bit of filter at the house. I got a bit of prune. Yeah, but when y'all people are camping, y'all people. All right. You dip the canteen in it. I've been camping exactly once in my life.

Thank you very much. I know you. I know you got at least five friends that camped before. That have camped before? Sure. Yeah. I know some black people have never camped. Yes, and you have camping friends too.

No, I don't think so. My friends are cooler than that. You definitely do. They fucking camping. Come on, dude. Bunch of outside nerds. I'm not an outside guy, no. No, outside is hot.

They'll camp in front of the stoop. They're not camping in no damn forest. They'll camp in front of a bodega. I have to have access to a Lipton iced tea at any moment. A brisk. A brisk. Brisk is so specific. I did like the brisk.

That's brisk, baby. That's brisk, baby. Didn't they have the snowman commercial? Yes, they did. They did. What happened to slogans? I was thinking about this the other day. Somebody said, or yesterday, melt in your mouth, not in your hands.

M&M's. M&M's. I hope that person is a billionaire. Got milk? just got milk yeah they sat in a board meeting and somebody was like

that's going got milk and they were like oh when you're here you're family Olive Garden wow

that's actually pretty good as well what about stop it up with bread what about I'm loving it I'm loving it it's good too because that is how

you're feeling about McDonald's McDonald's has had a bunch of slogan changes though no if you could have a slogan what would it be that's interesting what would I want to highlight

for my slogan i would say themes of comfort you know themes of comfort like a a fun to be around you know um buckets of fun there's something about fun yeah yeah yeah yeah mr absolutely cheers you know everybody knows your name that's a really good one but but if if marie was to do where it's like, cheers, where she forgets your name. She's not going to know who you are at all. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's just, it's not, I'm not good at it.

And more often than not, like now it's happening, people will come up to me and be very familiar with me. And this guy had a whole conversation with me last night at the comedy club. But he kept calling me Mary. So I was like, he don't really know me. That doesn't, yeah. Mary. And he started talking to me in French.

And I was like, he must be French. I was like, are you Canadian? And he was like, I'm French. I called him Canadian because I knew that was insulting to him right because why are you calling me Mary yeah but I was like I don't think I've ever met this person in my life

well that can happen I feel like if somebody if they're like foreign and they're like you speak the same language they can be too familiar Greek people will act that way like we're family just because you know they're also Greek and it's like I do love

it is cool but it's like don't let's work up to you know hugging yeah don't touch my face yeah yeah yeah yeah Wait a minute, you don't like hugs? I do. Let's work up to it, though.

I need to know who you... I can't come out straight out of the bathhouse. You can. We're friends. Oh, no, no, no. I'm saying if we didn't know each other and I came to hug you, first thing,

get in there, buddy. You'd be like, that's too much? Get in there, buddy. If someone's not trying to fuck me, I don't want to be touched by them. That's the one exception to the rule. If a hot girl came up to me,

put her titties on my back, I'm not mad. You know what I mean? But if anybody else is trying to it get that's that's the way you can get into my personal that's sort of the the way you can jump the line of personal spaces being sexually forward and someone i find attractive everyone else no thanks if you ugly and you're not trying to have sex with staff back up no we can we can work up the hugs if we're friends but don't immediately come at me unless you know i don't know so if i'm

a stranger and i give you a hug you my no you okay it's always gonna be a yes okay titties in a sheer in a sheer turtleneck i mean on you let me stop you're like hey you clearly want to bet if you that's how you hold on if she had teeth like timu yes and she hugged you do i see the teeth how long you do the real question is how long does it take does she lead with her teeth or with her tits she got the bee stings oh she looks like this all right all right we'll see hey this this conversation is over be honest and honest with my friend i'm not asking for your honesty

silence you know men are are better seen than heard and even that we don't even need to see you who got a blanket i could just throw it now so you said go ahead and cut his mic off Yeah, cut it. Cut the camera's dead ass. It is. Dope. Yeah. Let's talk about your mess.

Yes, get into it right now. Ooh, my mess. Okay, so I was thinking of it as like, a like i said societal mess okay and i would say uh the chaos that like like genetic testing like the uh uh 23 and me's all this that that has run rampant with people have realized how many secret families are out there and how many people's dads aren't really their dads and how much shit like because you do that testing and you're like me and dad have no nothing genetically in common and that is like a huge it happens actually on my show on stoppy's world people

call it and be like turns out my grandpa had a secret family turns out my dad i just found out my dad's not really my dad and then i was looking into this in france they have outlawed private genetic paternal tests because they're like our society is built on cheating and it would they literally like it would ruin the like familial stability or whatever so i just thought that's very interesting the second we the second we're allowed to see like how related people are to each other you just see that like a lot more people than you think are related are secretly cheating or have secret kids or like and i thought that was pretty you know to think about that how before there was a way to get caught how many people just have a kid with somebody else and just

never say shit about it and just kind of i mean the world used to be a different place i know Maury where's Maury I'm trying to be Maury by the way I want to do a You Are Not The Father show so bad I really want to do that I would love to buy the rights for Maury yes

he's still alive you're not fucking taking my show he retired I would never dream of doing it if he was still doing it the thing is that nobody wants to do it except you so he will like put his cloak back on his blazer He'll be like, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm back. That's great. Either way I went, I get to watch the master at work or I get to take over. My brother's bachelor party was the week before Maury retired. We were going to go to a Maury taping for part of my brother's bachelor. Because I looked it up. It was in Connecticut. You could go from Queens.

There's like a shuttle bus that takes you. I'm not even joking. I was looking up tickets and then they were like, hey, actually, the show's over this week. It was that close. I didn't even know Maury retired. Unfortunately, he retired. It was enough. Enough was enough.

It was too much happening. But I'm surprised your people haven't linked you with him. You haven't hung out with him? You can't get him on the pod? This is just a dream, you know? It's just something I haven't... That's a good point. I need to do this.

You should get him on the pod. I would love to get Maury on the pod. You should get him on the pod. That would be a dream. I would love to send him here. Yes. To mess. Absolutely.

Because Maury is mess. Absolutely. I need to know how many kids he has. I need to know how he has that as a job. He fell into it. I've looked into this. It was just... he was a judge or a lawyer he was a journalist and he was just doing like a daytime general show

that was like they would cover all types of topics and one of them happened to be oh this will be kind of interesting paternity like and it was way more serious the first one was like way more like let's learn about these it wasn't like break dancing it's like fuck you bitch i knew it wasn't my kid that by the time we got to that was hilarious but at first he was like it was like real journalism and then it was like people love you don't want to see

this real people love you are not the father yeah he was on stage like telling a story about I don't know

genetics or whatever and somebody in the audience was like who's dad is not and he was like I don't know maybe it is I think so

I think by the end of it he was doing mostly you know that and that was a big pandemic watch for me I watched so much I want to know who was the first person

to get up and run to the back. I wonder who did that. That's a pioneer. Put him in the Hall of Fame. Put him in the Maury Hall of Fame for sure. He was definitely a black man.

For sure. Yeah, I mean. No. Because I'm talking about the women. When the women would find out they weren't. The cameraman. The first cameraman

to chase a woman down a hall. I need to know who that is. No way. They would do that. Also in the Hall of Fame. I forgot about that. Yeah, there would be like a woman and no disrespect to her.

She brought in like nine guys. I forgot. And it was never them. and then that and by the ninth guy she just ran and the camera guys were fucking

sprinting with the camera they were like this is a full photo it was great they were pumping up their Nike's and they were like yo we are getting

it's the same guys that worked on Cops yeah absolutely you gotta get those guys Cops and Cheaters yep Cheaters another classic

another classic running that's after Joey Grieco got stabbed on that show on Cheaters on Cheaters a guy got exposed that he stabbed Joey Grieco.

You're going to get stabbed. You can't have a show like that and think you're going to have an easy life. But also, if he's going to cheat, he's going to stab. Absolutely. There's a big, the Venn diagram of cheaters and stabbers.

Right. There's a nice middle ground there. So wait, you binged it. And how many times was it, was somebody the father? Was it more you're the father than you're not? Honestly, I think it was mostly not. But there were some,

that was the fun thing. is like you never really knew. Sometimes it was really obvious. Sometimes you knew the baby had the exact same face as the dad. That was really fun. And the dad would be like,

that don't look nothing like me. And the mom would be next to him like, yeah, that's not my son. Look at his nose. I love that. When they would go up and be like,

he's got the same nose. Just not doing science at all. They'd be like, the nose is the same. It's like, we're going to find out in a second. I was like, that baby looks brand new.

You don't even, the nose is not even really formed right now. There's no way. Yeah, look at my lips and look at that baby lips. that can't be my baby and he's like the baby's still cooking yeah or just general they would also do like relationship ones where it's like have you been cheating even if a baby wasn't

involved i remember a guy they found some guy they found uh like clearly women's lotion in his car and he was like i have eczema murray murray and he pronounced it eczema and it was one of the It was, like, you know, clearly not medical lotion. The guy was so clearly lying. That was one of my favorite episodes. He's just like a dove lotion. I have eczema, Murray. That's, like, tattooed into my brain.

Oh, man. It's Victoria's Secret love spell. I have eczema, Murray. My favorite episode of Maury. My favorite fucking episode is where this woman comes in. Her boyfriend's named Paul. and she's like i think my friend is hooking up with paul and so she's like you know i'll be going away and come back and she's making paul chicken tetrazzini and i don't know what she's putting in

that chicken tetrazzini but paul love it paul love it and i was like oh is that what's that girl i love that video i feel like i met sydney saying chicken tetrazzini what the fuck is it We don't know, but it's got a- What is chicken tetrazzini? It's got a little hang to it. I don't know either. I'm just throwing it in a sentence. Paul, I love it!

And so you think that 23andMe is mess. I think it's mess, yeah. I think, what do you really gain from it? And we haven't even gotten to the point that now the government can just use it to fucking arrest you. Yeah. Like, if one of your brothers,

if, like, your cousin does it and, like, you're a quarter match for some crime, They can just look at that shit And at first It's like Okay it's a company They own it But then those companies

Sell their data To whoever the fuck You have no privacy Didn't one of them close? Yeah they just sold it They would have been 23andMe They just sold everything they had They just sold it to somebody

Yo we out And now just the Somebody has Your saliva? Just your DNA Not us Yeah Not me

We don't need to do that That's not White people love 23andMe What type of white am I? Well, they want some not white. I'm a third black. Yeah.

I have. Nigga. No. I'm 9% Nigerian. 1%. Jokes are airing African negros. Now I can say lowercase n. Can you say one day a year if you're 1%?

Do you pick a day? No. If you don't look it. Just checking. If you don't look it, I can't say it. If you look it a little bit. Oh, wait. No.

I don't even think. If you don't look it. That's not. What about something like Logic, for example? He can't say it. He can't say it. He can't, but that ain't black. Use his logic here.

He also looks like a fucking nerd, so no. You can't say it, Logic. You heard it, you're a mess. Logic. Okay, just ask it. Dip it. Nope. You know, I haven't taken one, but...

You just had that on the tip of your tongue. You were ready. Logic? Yeah. Just wondering. You couldn't wait to ask. Just a Logic style guy. Halsey?

No. Halsey's another good one. He also can't say it. He can't say it. No, I'm sorry. When Pink first came out and we thought she was black, I thought she was already She could sing

When she first came out And we thought she was black Yeah She could sing Wow Pink in 2004 Only when she was singing There you go

She could sing Yep But when she doing all the Circus or lace No that That was That was actually Really out of the blue

That she was not black at all I know She had the little Mollie wall I was like She's got a white mom Yeah Classic white mom

She had these Classes Yeah And I said Oh my god Look at this light skin girl Just because I let you go There you go

Talk about Talk about Yeah What regular white ladies Didn't talk about I just want a man With real love A legendary run

For pulling it off Pulling off Faking Being black Yeah Well she said Not faking Not faking

But she I mean You know Back then You got a stylist She said L.A. Reid did that to her Yeah

And I believe it I don't know if she was Or what she wanted to do But he was like You gotta be more black They gotta think you mixed Right right right She probably came in with, you know, her hot topic outfit or whatever.

He's like, nah, that's not going to work. She had JNCO jeans on when she signed up. It was an implied dole's all, not a full dole's all. It was not dole's all. He never goes full dole's all. In training. It was a trial dole's all. You know, she's a hairdresser now.

She's doing people's braids. Dole's all, not pink. I know. Pink doing mullets. Yeah. You know, because she voted for Trump. So it makes sense. Mullets and Trump.

classic pink voted for trump i i you don't quote me but i think i saw it is kind of a classic move though to like be a black culture vulture and then just become republican in your like 50s like amber rose oh yeah she she's she's like she was at mega rally yeah yeah white mom what a shame she's got a white mom white mom white mom white it happens that does make sense you know some of our listeners are white moms we love y'all down we let y'all send us your mess hey we're obsessed we let y'all express yes yeah yo that's crazy that you brought up the genetics thing because i watched a documentary last night down the rabbit hole no called three identical strangers okay now this happened in new york right so this is like i think in the 60s or 50s or whatever but

Some crazy Marty Supreme time. Yeah, but basically it's in this Jewish community where they had this... Jewish community, Williamsburg. No, it was not Williamsburg. But it was a suburb. It was a suburb in New York. And so they had...

Long Island, what are we talking about? Not Long Island. You know, I don't know all the specifics. I don't know the specifics. But they had a... What do you call it? The child fundraiser. Not fundraiser.

the you know where you adopt adopting a fundraiser an adopting agency an adopted agency they sell chocolate bars and they put you in the money machine and it's swirling around

three ones diabetes somebody locked their foot curls on the side hard bottoms hard bottoms okay okay so they had all these kids uh and they were putting them in different homes so uh and well-to-do homes so uh these two these two brothers they end up being in the same college

and they yeah and they they look the same and they're like what the fuck are you are you my twin and so come to find out they were they were twins and then a little bit later they find out they have a third so it's triplets so this adoption agency uh this researcher is putting on a um what i don't want to do a study late last night that's okay they're doing this study where they're learning about nature versus nurture so they put these triplets in three different homes with three different upbringings or whatever to find out what's better. They're like, rich, middle class, poor as hell.

No, no poor, no poor, but just different ways of parenting. Different types of dads, right? But the mother apparently had, you know, some kind of mental illness or whatever. All white moms here? All white moms. Jewish.

Jewish. Different. Is that a different shade? Depends. I've never seen a Jewish crayon in the crayon box. And I have a 64 count. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just saying

it's not color yeah you're right it's not color it's typically white let me stick to the script you know black Jewish people sure black Israelites

oh my people Lenny Kravitz right but he's half white yeah yeah yeah no I'm not talking about black that'd be so funny if one of those kids

they give a Jewish kid from Long Island to a black Israelite your white man is in my house a brother is always gonna be down if he's in a

what? That's the Chappelle skin. That is good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me get that. A white kid raised as a black Israelite? That would be fucking incredible. Yeah, that would be good.

I'm too rich on my father's side. Hakeem, let me fucking finish. Finish up, please. Okay, so they, and they all lived a hundred miles from each other. They had no idea

that they were all living very close. A hundred miles feels far. It is. It's not close. It's not super far, but yeah, it's not close enough for them.

It's not like they're in a different state, you know? So, now they're all college and older they they become famous because they're like oh my god these triplets they found each other uh they kind of look alike they're like oh you know we love smoking cigarettes we love chinese foods they're like oh we're the same it sounded cool to me that's what it is cool activities this is in your butt you know yeah then it gets really fucked up because now

they're learning they were part of this research project and that's why they were separated and so they were like i've had these people this whole time what if my life would have been different if i would have grew up for sure my actual brother so maybe that's why we became sad or depressed whatever so they open up a restaurant it's yeah it's big because they became famous everything comes in threes and so one dad was very you know compassionate understanding supportive like you know gay no i'm kidding a very good dad very good dad then there was like you know hard working dad always working but you know still still a good dad but not always there and then there was the dad that was very strict very strict and so okay

patient dad right so the guy who had the strict dad it was coming to find out like he's he's actually pretty fucked up like he's he's he might have been bipolar or something but he was very like acting out alcoholic all this stuff at the end of the day he kills himself chop suey happens and so then the research is like well see nature versus nurture it's about the nurture like yes he had it was so fucked up insane for a fucking researcher be like nice not yeah we get nice yeah we get we get something cool in the kill yourself graph yeah we can put one shout out to that grant yeah yeah crazy thing is is that one of the dads came in and asked the adoption agency like what the fuck did you like why are y'all doing this we need to see the study and and they

were like oh no no no like somehow they were to talk their way out of it dad leaves comes back they're cheersing with champagne because they're like we got away with no way it's fucked up because i'm giving you all these spoilers i'm sorry but it was so it like had me wrapped up yeah because right they had all this research right they would not put the papers out they would not expose anything because they were like well they didn't really have any real findings yeah i mean it doesn't sound like these people's lives because it was other uh twins that were out there too that were still under his study who were these people what the fuck they i read in the reddits they were like this woman was really reddit tiktok documentary she's doing all three at the

same time yeah it was it was so messed up because um they were saying this researcher she had no empathy she was all about you know the research and she's jewish so they were like why would you do this to your own people and the reddits was like we really think she was a nazi i don't know because she was german but she was a german jew but the people in the comments don't believe that somebody who's really jewish would do some such a thing but the whole thing about genetics and eugenics it's it was really fucked up and i was like oh this is why people are like it's really messed up to compare the two under this

type of situation. 100%. And that's what and yeah, that does go back to my mess shit of like, you don't need to know this shit. You don't. Who gives a fuck? What exactly are you trying to learn? Like your family background? I guess. That's something. That's kind of interesting. Like if you want to like

connect with people, but I think there's other ways to do that. You don't have to do with like genetic testing. You can go through like family tree and find some ancestors and go to villages or whatever the fuck. I burned the tree down, so I don't know where it is. People said, villages? I'm just going to spit in the stuff and put it in an envelope.

Because you sound like that's a lot of steps. I'd rather just not know. I don't want to know. I've gone to my grandma's village. It's pretty cool. Yeah? I don't want to know. Yeah.

You don't want to know at all. I don't want to know. I would love to know. I get that, too. I would love to know, but I also don't want to give my DNA to somebody. I'm saying go to fucking Haiti or wherever. You know what I mean? Like, I'm saying go to Haiti or wherever.

The way you said it, I don't like it. Go to fucking Haiti. I don't like your tone I don't like the tone I'm not the one on Reddit Accusing Jews of being Nazis No, no, no, no I didn't say that

It's just the material you're reading I'm just saying what was I'm repeating I don't have any She don't have an account I don't have an account She don't have an account I don't have an

I do have an account Truth Truth under Sidney How many root truths do you get? I don't know what he's talking about. Putting cry work clips on Truth Social? Can I do that? We got to get the pot number.

I was like, yo, mess with your numbers. Girl, let's be black and villain. Girl, you know how much money he was making on Patreon? Let's do it. Yeah, let's do it. Anyway, I didn't know who my father was. I don't know where my father was. It's Denzel Washington.

Wow. That would be amazing. Imagine if I was separated at birth and I really was. Let's get Maury in here. That's why we need the Maury reboot. Maury, Sidney, Star Wars, Denzel. Yeah. I'll host it.

I'll be the cameraman. No offense to my mom, but yeah, Denzel wasn't up in that. Nice lady, but Denzel was definitely not. You don't know what she was doing back in her prime? I saw pictures. She was a baddie, but not Denzel. I heard your mom was grinding on Denzel. She was not.

But they would always make jokes about this one guy. They were like, this is actually Sidney's dad. Like this one, I forgot his name. But they said, look, the nose, the nose. She looked like, but I never was like, you know what? Let's get some testing. Let me figure it out. I just was like, I don't care.

right right even if he is my dad and he's still around you're a loser totally was he a loser probably fucking deadbeat if he was cool she'd be like that's my dad but if he was cool he would been around a little bit well he was around a little bit because they kept saying that's yeah interesting they would make really bad jokes about it my brother and sister i'm like this could just be a thing between y'all two it could also be that you know because brothers and You know, older brothers and sisters are fucked. Of course, siblings suck. Yeah, we used to tell my one brother,

he was really blonde when he was little. We were like, yeah, we just adopted you from Swedish people. You're not even a part of the fucking family. And it would piss him off. Is he still blonde? He's gotten less blonde. Well, he probably has less hair. No, he's got...

I don't know, he's got a nice full head of hair. He's not with the times, as we discussed. Airlines are out. Every time you throw your hair back, Can we get a fan in here? No, can you get a... I need you to... Can we get a...

Can you... I need you to pull it behind the ear. Stop. So you would never go to Turkey? No. That's a coward's way out. But do you, but you know people who've gone

because I feel like that's... Everyone is doing it now. I think the stigma's gone from hair plugs. But my, I think what I'm going to do is I'm going to, I'm going to get plunged

on like 60. I'm just looking at the string. It's hot in here so it's getting a little stringy in the background. It is a little hot. It is a little hot. Stop tossing it.

Stop. Oh, I might have to put my hair up. Anybody got a, Anybody got a hair tie? Can you put in a bun, bud? Little top bun? No! What about ponytail?

What was in that yogurt? Because you're getting real loose. I've never seen you do this. I've never seen you do this, Bob. This is too much. I'm trying. The bald pony is going to. That's the look, dude.

So you. So, yeah, it would just be weird if you had hair. I don't. I think it would be. It would fuck up your brand. I agree. my whole philosophy in life is just lean into it

be whoever you are be the best version of you it's the best version I think it is I think hilariously it is it's working out for you you're booking movies

you're at Cannes like you that's right I mean if you had to if you tried to change it I don't think it would've worked for you yeah what am I gonna get

fucking plugs that'd be ridiculous if you got plugs and got skinny you would not get booked I'm telling you they would be like get them out

I can still figure it out no no no they wouldn't I can still figure it out. No, no. You're not going to start getting abs? I believe in myself. Nah, man.

I would look at it as adversity. That's the funny thing. Me getting ripped would be adverse. Because you're right, it would be harder. Yeah. But I can figure it out. Adversity. I can figure it out.

Yeah, getting in shape is adversity to me. I've been watching the videos. They're funny. Thank you. Yeah, I mean, look, I just want to be regular fat, you know? What kind of fat is this? We're kind of hitting the extremes. like you know

I mean I've seen my 600 pound life you not that I'm not that bad but I had gotten pretty I got up to like 350 and now I'm at 275 come on skinny but that's what I'm talking about I still have the same clothes

somehow so no skinny not really I mean it's just like this used to be to the brim You know what I mean? That's really the difference It's really about health Yeah, yeah Is that meth? I mean, not meth

Is that meth? I haven't used meth We know it's not meth yet That's the original ozone I mean, when you lost your tooth I was like, oh That's meth Yeah

Meth When you do the MAGA rebrand Listen to OOMETH on Patreon You listen to OOMETH I'm caught up Stop I also don't appreciate how pink I look under this lighting You do

I'm kind of I actually got a little tan but you know if they made you look tan we would not look how you look you would be we would look like this

but what about what about the health and wellness community do you think that's messed because I think it's really have gotten out of hand you talking about

like people who go to yoga and stuff it's just they're promoting like all these things about like finding yourself and eating right

and everything you can't eat anything anymore that's something a fat person everything is giving us cancer you're just making fast food more delicious it's not like healthy for you but I do think there's something where it's like people

want there to be just an answer that's like a little hard to find but once you get it everything you know there's like it's the answer to everything because the reality is life is just kind of dog shit for most people now for and there's no quit it's like it's just

like it's inequality systems are set up against most people so yeah whether it's health or wellness or like being like oh if you take this supplement you'll be better if you and then for a lot of health it's like it is unhealthy like it's so much easier to be fat in america like yeah because healthy food is expensive it is and unhealthy shit is everywhere yeah it's not everywhere if you're in a food desert you can forget about getting a vegetable yeah that's what i'm saying and this is why i couldn't

live in bushwick okay every time i would i'd be like this how y'all live yeah where do you get Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why is everything canned? Every street, I feel like I'm walking through the beginning of a Law & Order SVU episode. I'm like,

this warehouse, warehouse, warehouse. It is warehouse heavy. You have to hit the, like, and people lived in all those warehouses. Yeah, but I will say, like, when I was, you know,

trying to be healthy, like, for a hard 75, I mean, I was miserable. It's a little cultish. I was miserable. It's a little cultish. Like, working out,

obviously, I was like, oh, my God, I have a little bit more energy, but, like, i don't want to interact with folks yeah yeah i know you mean this sucks i do have more energy though but i have more energy i do have more energy but not to deal with people yeah i just i'm up but i want to be by myself yeah i mean the the biggest example of like super health stuff is that one guy was named like brian johnson or whatever that tech millionaire that i was thinking

his son's his son's like blood or whatever like blood yeah yeah or he was measuring his erections versus his, like, teenage son's erections. Excuse me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's just one marker. This isn't like, it's not, it's not like. Oh, he was on Epstein's Island for sure. He, I don't think he was.

He's even weird. He's weirder than. He's weirder than that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you mean he's weirder than Epstein Island? He's not. He's not cool. But he's weirder.

He's not cool enough to be invited to the island. He wanted, that is, you know, there were billionaires that were like, can I get on the island? They were like, what's it going to take? They're like, we're full. Try Sears. they're saved for being losers right right in the hamptons and all the epstein people were like oh yeah these guys aren't even fucking kids oh wow just nasty it's all gross yeah but this guy

was just like uh this guy his thing is like he wants to take like he eats a very specific diet he only has like i don't know 1800 calories and it's all like algae and he sleeps in a pod and he like he goes to bed at like 7 p.m and he's trying to live he like trying to live for like hundreds of years but it's like what's the fucking why because that's not what life is not enjoying your life plus you gotta have you're gonna die you're gonna die anyway and he didn't look good he looked kind of weird um algae just algae yeah you ain't got no hose and just doing algae but you might as well be a fish absolutely no you're sleeping in a pod you should be in a california king bed i know i know the whole i think yeah i don't know i just think some of these tech guys

want wait they're really worried about a guy there was a guy that was eating like bull testicle wait what oh that's uh the liver king the liver king well that guy looked terrible that guy lost his fucking mind what happened to him i don't know he just went crazy he was like threatening people he claimed he wasn't on steroids he clearly was he said it was just like all bull nuts that was getting him strong. He was eating. Yeah, yeah. Literally eating bull testicles.

He was also doing steroids. Oh, my God. He was cooking them right. Like, he wasn't putting no seasoning. Where's the lye on it? You can't put some lye in football.

Not even a little Mrs. Dad? Yeah, a little bit of Mrs. Dad. A little Mrs. Dad. Yeah, you ain't putting a little Cajun mix. You know how the Trader Joe's

everything bagel mix, right? Right. Put that on. Yeah. Really. No garlic, but like nothing. Just bull testicles. Just pure bull nuts.

Eating them like plums. Oh, girl. I'm not interested I'm going to throw up. No fork, no knife, just balls. I was tricked into eating lamb balls when I was a little kid. Excuse me? Lamb balls?

Like lamb meatballs? Yeah, like lamb. No, no, no. Like the testicles of a lamb. Were you on Epstein's Island? I was not. This was in Baltimore. Were you eating lamb balls?

I don't know. It's in Baltimore. People keep asking about the files and the lists and stuff. So now I just. Well, you know what's crazy? I got the list. Oh, yeah? I mean, it is wild that it's just like.

were just ruled by pedophiles. Yeah. And it's just the truth. It's scary. There's nothing we can do about it. They're just still in charge. We're just kind of waiting for it to implode. They have like pictures of them. Yeah. Like that's how not worried they were. They're just like,

what's up? What did you say? The Russian dude got the pictures of Trump and Bubba. No, that's fake. That was AI? That was AI. That was AI. Trump sucked a twin stick was AI. I could see it. He hates Hillary

so fucking Marie you did it out of spite well fuck you then let me go suck them they used to be friends

he hates her because he wants butt bill oh interesting that was that was the origin of the rivalry

yeah I mean the boy was that dude that saxophone and shit like you know

he had that New Orleans twang and whatnot yeah he was pretty cool he's the original Kenny G

right Kenny G he played the sax on Arsenio remember the classic moment remember when the president was cool yeah yeah yeah remember when the president was cool

i mean he also was you know having an affair with you said he wasn't that cool yeah it was actually when were the president's kind of a piece of shit obama obama was cool that was a cool and then everything else hasn't been cool yeah but he was just cool like none of them are good people or like good presidents i mean if i had to rank them i feel like he probably wanted the best the best coolest one that i know i don't know no cool like in terms of the in terms of the like uh giving a speech symbolic like i feel good about what this person represents for america he was cool but it's like he deported as many people as fucking bush did he was drone striking fucking people without you know what i mean like they're all the same i mean truly like when so anybody

wants to be president is a sociopath imagine wanting to be president have to be crazy because the pay is not that good yeah yeah they get to steal all the money they want yeah i mean as soon As soon as Obama's out of office, he's fucking hang gliding with Richard Branson. He's with billionaires. That's the thing. You become the president to just, you know. He's making Netflix documentaries and stuff. I think he

went into it because he wanted to be a, he wanted to do good. I think you go into it that way. How? Not everybody. You want to do good and then you're taking advantage of one of your interns who's underage. Oh, you're talking about Bill Steele. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know if he wanted, I mean, I don't know. I don't know if they want to do good or if it's just like

the power, like politicians just want to be like so powerful and they probably get like there's got to be a rush to being the fucking president of the united states getting to know about aliens and shit he gets the secret files that's what it really is about the end you know i really want to fuck with et what they used to do the anal plugs where are they yeah yeah yeah i mean i saw transformers they i want to see if the decepticons yeah yeah yeah let's see yeah that's the only reason i'd want to be president so i could be like and so we didn't go to the moon oh that's crazy but you see how the job ages people too like the picture of them going in and coming out well they already

are dark hair when they're going in like it doesn't make sense to be that old to run the country it's like 81 no no for sure i just mean like if you look at obama or even like bush whatever they're both you like like the way they were younger guys and then they come out of it and they're like 20 years old they look so bad because it's like you're doing unspeakable evil terrible as the press of the terrible thing but all the other presidents in the past had to follow some type of rules trump literally he said i don't want that you swing here let's knock it down he just does what he wants yeah it's tacky he's putting those like influencer lights in the damn fucking oval office he's buying shit off tiktok shops and installing it on the fucking

He's on Amazon getting gold You know he's playing Fortnite And some fucking Some Galaxy Lamp He's got a sun lamp in the bathroom He said I changed the tile out of the Lincoln bathroom It was trash

And it's all gaudy garbage He's playing Gunna when he wakes up He's getting fucked He's playing Kid Rock I think he's playing Kid Rock when he's dancing like this he is like it is like a a queen's real estate like slumlord gets to be in the white house that's what it looks like it just it's dark it looks like shit but it's bad it's so bad and also i think

like just being in power why do you want all that on your shoulders it's just like people who want to be managers at like a bar it's like why do you want to be making money with us you want to have a good time yeah yeah yeah so you want to be like no you can't do that now you can't do that ew totally loser totally yeah i feel like it's less no you can't do that hey hey shout out to all the managers at the bars i love y'all y'all not losers when y'all was with me but yeah everybody after y'all i feel bad i was gonna say i think it's less you can't do that and more i want to do this so i'm doing it it's it's less about you and more about them i don't know i think people like to be in control of shit but it's also just ego i think more than anything it's dumb who knows

that's a job that i wouldn't want to do no we do the sacred art of podcasting that's what the people really need and you know what's crazy presidents are doing podcasts recession indicator okay they're on pod when when one of the presidents like i think i should start a patreon it's we are doing so bad as a country things when the royal family couldn't podcast Remember when they gave Harry and Meghan a Spotify deal and they couldn't handle it? No. Yeah, that happened. Wait, why they couldn't handle it?

They just didn't have what it takes to be podcasters. They don't have good personality. Not everybody's built like this. It is a lot. Not everybody can broadcast like this. This is true. It is an art form. I will say that.

Yeah. Like, have people be attentive and, like, want to watch you and listen. Yeah. And then pay for things. And then tell their friends about it incessantly until their friends subscribe. Oh, that's a skill. uh so we have a uh messages that we would like to read uh for you and then you would love to i'd love that get get some of your information this one this one uh might be good for you

hey sydney marie and mess podcast team i'm a 32 female and i started taking lexapro 20 milligrams for my anxiety and depression fall of 2024 okay let's go with the journey let's do it With Lexapro, PCOS, and bodies changing in your 30s, I've gained weight from 130 to 170 pounds. I'd rather have my mental health in check and be healthy, even though I've gained a few pounds. However, I constantly hear from my mother that I'm very fat now. That's what mothers do.

That's kind of what mothers are for. That's how they live. They don't see anything other than that. And then they try to annihilate you. That is fully in their discourse. He, mom, you get big. Yeah. Oh, my mom used to call me big.

Yeah. And I'd be like, LOL. Yeah. Oh, you eating over there, huh? Who feeding you? Yeah. So, however, I constantly hear from my mom that I'm very fat now. I look terrible and I'm providing immigrant mom fat burning tips.

Whenever I wear something that shows my figure, the comments start again. The worst part was that she said, and she said this in front of my friends recently, she will watch me eat and force me to drink lemon water time to time it's gone to the point i don't feel comfortable eating around her or wearing form-fitting clothes my boyfriend mentioned that he felt more attracted to me when i was 130 and 140 pounds he's not extreme as my mom but he is constantly asking if i went to the gym what is my diet consisting of and when my medication will decreased fuck and calling me my cute chunky peanut I'd rather you be crazy wow that's tough the boyfriend is way tougher than the mom this is you gotta throw both of them away he's not

bad as my mom but it feels like shit yeah these are your these are your ops these are not 100% yeah when I have mentioned to both of them I don't feel great when they say these things sometimes they stop and then they start again however they think if they say it it will help and motivate me. I'm trying my best. I'm working out. I'm watching my diet. I'm going to therapy

and I have a remote job until I have to travel for events. It is a stressful job and it's not enough for them. I've been struggling with my self-confidence all my life and now it feels more than ever.

I look at myself in the mirror and think maybe they're right. Oh, come on, girl. Come on. And so, are they mess or me? Any advice will be helpful. Thank you for always making me laugh

while I'm working. Girl, no. you are not mess you are you are actually doing all of the work yeah you are bettering yourself mentally physically you're putting in the time who you should have sent us a picture of your boyfriend and your mom we would have just dragged what i do that we would literally roast them until the end of time yeah what would you think yeah i mean so the the number one thing that's important is like your mental health right because health is like health is everything it's not just your body right now is it possible that like while getting your mental stuff in order like

yeah she said she's gained a little weight like is she where the real question i have is are you where you want to be right it's not about them right that's the biggest problem your mom you can't do anything about your parents you can tell your mom to shut the fuck up and you can tell her like look you can try and set a boundary and be like we're not discussing this or i'm just not hanging out right i don't think she can tell her mom to shut the fuck up she said immigrant parents so but but i mean i know that lady like that but you can you can write it in your journal i don't know i mean i have we have different opinions on how to deal with immigrant parents i think oh you'll be cursing your mother out no no not my mom me and my dad have my mom my mom is

kind of the opposite where it's like i've never done anything wrong i have that kind of baby boy yeah yeah yeah but i've had like hard discussions with my dad and there have been times where we weren't talking and then we like reconciled and we like figured some shit out but that's parental shit when it comes to your boyfriend it's like part of me wonders if it wasn't for your mom really fucking your shit up like how bad is the boyfriend's behavior because what i'm really wondering is are you where you want to be are you happy at this weight are you happy because she's saying she's working out she's whatever because i've definitely felt it where it's like i want to lose weight not about how i look honestly it's for health reasons and i know i'm not happy where

I'm at. It's not about the outside stuff. So I would say to our listener here, think about what you want. You know, do you have a goal of like, maybe you won't get down to 130, but maybe you want to be 150. Maybe you want to be whatever. Maybe it's not even a, a number thing. Maybe it's a clothes size. Maybe it's a blood work thing, right? Right. Like it's actually about your actual health, not how you physically feel. But if you're, if you're comfortable with your body and you are healthy from a doctor's perspective, right? Then you have to have this, like, this is like a conversation with your partner because shit changes in your life but i would say like figure out what you actually want free of this noise of these people because that's what it

ultimately is noise decide what you want tell them like hey this is my goal you making these comments doesn't help me like if you actually want me to get healthier great here's how you can be an ally to me like maybe we can go to the gym together maybe you can help me meal maybe you can cook for me if you're my boyfriend or whatever picture of the boyfriend and you should have sent the mom and does she live does she live with these people like right how serious is the relationship too because like if someone just liked you for how you look and now you're feeling better and you've gained a little weight who gives like i mean that's also life if you're going to be with somebody there's going to be changes and physical weight is one of the almost on the surface changes

people go through all types of different shit people get into relationships and gain a bunch a happy way totally or they lose weight or they become they they learn something about themselves and they change careers they change the type of things they're into the best relationships kind of grow with each other and if this if this person is like now look it could just be he's said something that he would prefer and he hasn't had he hasn't said it tactfully and the fact that her mom is on her neck constantly about it only makes it feel more intense like yeah is it possible that This guy's like, look, I, you know, do you want to lose? Like, is there a better way to phrase it?

Don't gaslight my good sis. I'm not gaslighting. I'm sure that man is talking out his neck. Like, you went to the gym? It's like, okay, did you go to the gym? Let's talk about that. Does he have abs? Absolutely.

Does your boyfriend have abs? Yeah. And I would like to be on the record. I was merely saying my main knee jerk reaction is like, these people are kind of against you. And they're not. You need to figure out what you want for you. and you don't need to let

how you feel about yourself dictated by those people close to you and it's like I wonder why you have self-esteem issues this is how your fucking mom has talked to you

your whole life and then by the way if that's what you think of love you probably are attracted to somebody who is going to treat you the same way and so she's talking about

yeah exactly who's got a furry hat Dr. Stob over here you know I mean this I think this is the kind of shit you need to talk about in therapy it's like

what's the root and basically my point about the boyfriend was is this the same pattern of someone who's judging her and just wants what they want out of her or is it

a fucking idiot who like made a comment he doesn't even really mean or something like I'm trying to figure out like she needs to know is this relationship worth working on

and getting to the communication of like is he my ally who just said something he kind of regrets or is this just a guy who only valued me for how I looked

and now he's just like hoping I lose weight and if I don't he's going to dump me when something else comes along and you have to figure that out this if you really want to be petty

you want to flip it lose their weight and they'd be like, you know what? I am 140 now and now I think I need to lose you too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Lose the weight and lose the man. Actually, lose the man then lose the weight. Yes. And then just pop out with the revenge body

and the revenge, you know, mental health. Here's the other thing. You could secretly fatten him up. Ooh. Melt butter

into his meals. You don't think he's going to taste that butteriness? He might not. Who knows, right? Isn't that what happened to Mean Girls?

So turn, Yeah, do the Regina George. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those like bars that wrestlers take to build up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Calcine bars. Calcine bars. Yeah, fatten him up while you're losing weight.

Yeah, make him a big bat. That's mess. The fact that he's talking to you, he's not going to the gym, he's not taking you to the gym, and he knows how you feel about how your mother's talking to you. Girl, just get him big and leave him. Yeah. Leave him. Yeah, not everyone can handle this life.

You know, not everyone's built like this. A lot of Americans are. Statistics say they've taken it. They've taken it. When you travel out of the country, people immediately go, USA. You must be Parisian, sir. You must have taken a gondola here straight from Venice. You were both in Paris and in Venice, right?

I was in Venice. That was so cool. Did they let you get on one of the little boats? I did get on a couple little boats, yes, yes. There was no weight limit on the boats. well I mean the boat's gotta be kinda big

how many people fit on one of those boats yeah the boats were sick I would've been saying rock the boat don't rock the boat baby you would get on the boat

and I'd be like near far away you are getting on in Italian getting on the

yeah you're on the front and the guy the guy's behind you that's somebody no I always took motorized ones I never did the classic

damn those guys It's kind of a scam. They charge like 200 euros for a ride. Oh, they're like the guys that do the bikes in the city. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, you got that? The little pedicab?

I do. It's true. But you're actually smart about your money. You're not foolish. Because I'll be like, yo, that's what we do. We didn't even really, I mean, I guess we got to wrap this up. But we didn't even really talk about how not best your life seems to be right now. Yeah, things are going pretty good.

This is the most together I've ever seen you. Yeah. I feel pretty good. I have a tooth. Clothes is on. Glasses not smudged. Nope. That's right.

That's right. Yeah. No, things are going pretty good. I'm trying to, like, not get overwhelmed with stuff, but I feel pretty good. I went on a little, we didn't talk about it, I went on a little wellness trip for the holidays. Where did you go? I went to the desert. I went to Tucson.

Tucson. Yeah, I just wanted some, I wanted some, like, you know, warm. Massage and stuff? I had a little massage. You went to Burning Man. Don't lie to me. I know you were crying. I'm not a Burning Man guy.

You know, a little wellness thing. I'm trying to, I'm trying to get my shit together. Cause I, like our friend who, who kind of called in, I had a peer, like my,

I got my career together and in the process, like got very unhealthy in many ways where it's like, I get, that's what I gained that three 50. Like I was just getting fucked up. I was on the road nonstop. Yeah. And I'm trying slowly or like,

it's been years, like two years, but I'm, it's the first time in my life where I'm actually making sustained progress, even though it's slow, I'm still a little better off every, every like, three months, I feel like I'm doing a little better.

So I'm trying to keep that going. We have a busy year coming up. We're about to start shooting tires. I'm going on tour. I'm filming another special. I got a movie coming out in the fall. Come on, talk about it. Run it out. You know, it's going to be busy. I know your managers are proud of you. No manager.

Agent? Agent, yeah. So what I'm hearing is I should keep the hat and drop my manager hat. Yeah, I mean, we can talk about it all. I love you. Keep that 10% Wow, amazing It's a lot of money to give somebody

It's so annoying, every time I book something I'm like Yeah, I also just hired my friends instead of a manager You guys know Eldish? Yeah, we know Eldish He's doing you well, he's making sure you're not going to jail He's alright, he's doing okay What's he getting, 5%? Uh, he's not getting it He gets a flat rate

Eldish gets no equity He's making $3 over minimum wage That's what friends are for I don't even know what minimum wage is, but I feel like it's like $21. It pisses me off how lucky he is, actually. He's my best friend, but it is very funny that he just lucked into being a podcast producer. He has no training whatsoever. That's what it's about.

But he's great. He's learning on the job. And also, you know, it's just fun to be with you. And that's what the NEPOs are doing. That's what I mean. Listen, you got to bring your people up. Absolutely. Okay?

a lot of unqualified folks in the air in the high places because of their friends so let's not act like this is not a thing and that's how we're doing it here at Stabby Baby Enterprises

for sure Stabby Baby do you have an assistant? well kind of I have a friend who helps with like logistical stuff she books a lot of stuff I might need like a day to day

just do a bunch of you know bullshit which is crazy to think about I mean all of my life it's really like I can't believe half the shit that's going on but I do think I would

it would be cool to have like an assistant just do just make because i'm also just a forgetful guy same all of us you know i'm a forgetful person that doesn't want to do anything yeah today i stepped over my giant ikea bag full of laundry for the third day and i said i'm gonna take this tomorrow i'm gonna drop it off tomorrow oh my therapist went like he takes a month off or whatever and in that month i like used all that money for like to have a cleaning lady come uh weekly instead of like you know every once in a while and i was like wait is this better than therapy like am i depressed or do i just not want to do dishes you know what i mean like it's a thing i think it might be true it

could be and my apartment is in disarray i can't feel fucked up i was like who are these people who could just keep their room clean all the time i know they put stuff away they fold and hang they're constantly doing that's their life like i have my one of my other great good friends he just i remember thinking like we were roommates and i was like this fucking guy's always cleaning he's fucking annoying and then he moves out and i'm like i see why he was doing because our place was just like what you think is just normal actually takes so much work it's all yeah every time you eat oh my god don't get me fucking started yeah i i remember once uh i had therapy and i was like there's so much i need to do my apartment looks crazy and my therapist was like

What do you need to do? I was like, I got dishes. I got this. She said, take me to the sink. Let's wash some dishes. And I said, what? You've never seen that part of my house. And she was like, take me to the sink and we'll wash some dishes together.

And I brought my laptop over and I started washing dishes. And as soon as my sink was clean, I was like, oh, my God, I feel so much better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's crazy how much something like that can kind of. A hundred percent. You could have called me. I would call you and you'd be like, girl, them dishes could wait. No, no, no.

You wash dishes with me on the phone. What are you talking about? Well, now I don't have a therapist no more because I graduated. Okay, give me that $25, sister. That's not how much she costs. Stav, it's so great to see you back in the building. I mean, you've grown so much since we first had you. Yeah.

We're very proud of you here. Thank you so much. You un-messed your life, but somehow you still have mess around you. Of course. It'll never go away. No. It'll never. Yay.

this is coming out soon so what's coming up I'm on tour again um stavi.biz I'm coming to a lot of places in New York I'm doing Radio City

March 28th so that's I'm very excited about that you're gonna you're doing Radio City Music Hall Radio City Music Hall like a rock hit

like a rock hit I'll be doing the high kicks and everything are there gonna be pyrotechnics I have some I'll tell you about it I don't want to spoil it

I have something planned yeah yeah yeah but uh yeah I mean just I'm doing a whole tour I'm gonna trying to figure out when to

and we're filming Tire season 3 and and I'm trying to you're great on that too thank you that's why you can't get the hair plugs

cause you you need your hair to look like Tire you had hair on that show it would be crazy I really do I think it would be I agree with you

it would be weird my plan like I was saying is like when I'm old I'm gonna get plugs when everybody else is done

yeah you gonna have a swoop bang it's gonna be hilarious don't do it just shave it all off just be bald all the way 60

you used to be bald I was bald you used to be bald again that's what i'm saying you gotta zag you know what i mean everyone you gotta zag that is the title of the episode y'all you gotta zag when they zigzag absolutely yeah that's the greek this is the greek michelle obama right oh my god and they go how you go lower whatever he said when they zig you gotta say yeah but come see me on on the road please and stavi's world is every week uh you're both great on it we got great episodes

it's been a while you you were just on but we got to get you back on yeah yeah uh but yeah that's pretty much it thanks guys thanks baby you the best this is so great this was a hot hot episode we're literally sweating literally sweating yeah we need you guys to keep reviewing keep rating us on spotify and apple and you know youtubes uh because we love the comments and we're doing great so yeah thank you for doing mess i guess i'll keep these pants i'll take i'll take this tag off rip it off now on camera oh can i get a countdown yeah yeah one two that's not how a countdown works three four three two one happy new year Mess with Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players

and iHeartRadio podcast. Created and hosted by Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin. Executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Han Sani. Super produced by Becca Ramos. Edited and mixed by Brian Jeffries. If you would like your messages read on air, please email us at mess the podcast at gmail.com or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588