MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - You Not My Man But That Is My Money

Episode Date: November 21, 2024

This week the two talk Sydnee’s apartment mess, Marie’s dating mess, when you should end your situationship, lottery mess, and your MESSages!   Don’t forget to write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi it's Brie and it's Sydney and we are doing Mess Live. Can you believe a December 1st at Union Hall in Brooklyn, New York 5 p.m. After brunch have your second brunch with us. What? Bottomless. Because I'm not wearing pants. See you then. You're listening to Mess. I'm trying to be one of those podcasts that just like starts the conversation halfway through and I feel like, Sydney, you refuse to let me be that. What you mean?

Because you like to do like a like a proper introduction and I just want to be like, oh, they're like, oh, didn't see y'all there. We are. We are different, Marie. But you know what?

You started it off. So now, you know, you can do whatever. There's edits. Whatever you want, babe. You can be in the middle of the conversation. And then he said,

let me put it in your it's whatever you want friend put it in you yes what's up girl wow i mean you know we did it we're surviving like probably the longest shortest year since the pandemic lord have mercy it's just everything is just it's like slow and fast at the same time I'm I'm kind of like oh I do want the year over but then it's like wait hold up slow down I just want to get to know you I'm at the end of the year I'm kind of like wait can we just like sit in it can we but also so much has happened that I'm like you know what I heard you should have let's go I'm done I mean I don't know maybe that's just

the aging thing. I don't really spend much time with children, so I don't know if the days feel fast to them, but they're definitely flying now. Like, you know, maybe, maybe it's me. I wake up at 10 o'clock in the morning. The day's already basically over when I wake up. No, no. By the time I brush my teeth, I'm like, what time is it? Yo, honestly, I wake, one eye is open and the other one is closed. And then the next thing you know, it's like, it's time to close both of them again. that's how it feels oh that's how you feel I feel like I'm waking up and soon as I feel like oh I'm gonna get all this stuff done then it's like oh it's time to go to bed or maybe it's just because I'm tired and I need to take you know 17 naps well I think okay so are you waking up earlier

do you think or are you waking up like where what's the what's the time what's the schedule babes girl I don't know everything is coming at me fast it's like one minute I'm like yeah I'm sleeping till 11 the next is like get up at 7 a.m bitch like it's crazy and whenever i have to wake up early all i do is toss and turn so that i don't oversleep i just don't know i'm not setting an alarm i am i am and you know i'll sleep right through that bitch oh those alarms and it can be like and i'm like that's that's a new york sound babe i need somebody to get an alarm that uh like shakes the bed you know that shakes the maybe the lights flash something i need somebody to be like wake up that's my line somebody needs to be wake up is that from school days or higher

learning at the end when laura fishburne was like wake up i think it was higher learning or maybe school days or is it crooklyn i've only seen one of those movies that you're saying okay well now i'm a movie buff my bad you're a cinephile sydney i'm actually excited to hear your mess today oh girl you've heard it it's like yo i just want to get an apartment that's all i want to do i literally am like okay i'm working hard i'm making the money i'm making the bacon it's sizzling let's go and every step of the way it's like well i guess i'm just gonna be in my friend's guest room not forever though not forever but um my mess is i applied to an apartment yeah not with my information because we already know that's not gonna go through

it's not no no no a friend a friend was like hey babe you know let's let's get an apartment together i'm not really gonna be there blah blah blah and i said oh my god i said i'll suck you no i'll suck you off the bone no suck it off but basically i did basically i did say that um but yeah so i apply and this person you know in a really good tax bracket they are way further than i am and so using all of their stuff yeah and i applied to an apartment it was amazing two bed two bath in bed style so but you know $31.99 which i feel like is a lot for that area but it was two bed two bath two bed two bath lots of brand new building gym rooftop beans greens tomatoes you name it you know little little you know entertainment room a movie theater it had

everything everything that i wanted and more doorman no doorman package room package room uh so the guy says hey all you need is first insecurity boom got that got that got my deposit hit that day i said oh hold up now showed up to the house with a briefcase full of money oh i said cash money darkling duck i was miss mcscrooge i was ready to drop them drop them coins off and so i apply and you know i hate paperwork and i'm like and my friend is not in the country and I'm trying to get his stuff. And, you know, I was like, man, this is really complicated. But God, God, be on my side.

Let's go. Let's go. So I finally get everything in. I get approved. This motherfucking apartment is like, so actually it is going to be $3,675. But you're going to get two months free. So it actually works out where you save $1,100. The hoops and loops.

The hoops and loops. And mind you, New York just passed a law. that there is no more broker's fees. Yeah, because the broker's fee used to be, in order to get an apartment, you had to give first month's rent, last month's rent, and then the broker's fee,

which is like 12% of the rent. So you drop in at least $12,000, $15,000 up top. Up top. And it's like, wait, I haven't even, I don't even have a bed yet. And I'm putting this down, right? Right, because if you're telling me it's 37. So 37 times three,

Actually, 12% of the rent is not even 12%. It's like, it's like a... For the year, for the year, for the year. So it's a bigger chunk. A lot of math, a lot of math. It's like, oh, whenever I see like someone homeless, I'm like, I get it. I fully get it.

Because one, not only are you not getting approved, like you got to have over 700, you got to have 80 times the rent, all this other bullshit. But then you finally get approved and they're like, oh actually now it's going to be 4200 and not it's ridiculous so i get on the phone with my friend i said hey i need you to pretend to be a lawyer be my lawyer okay as squire okay you had an actor friend oh my friend clocked the fucking had all the lawyer jargon i don't know if he was

watching law and order back yes sustained and called called up the i guess the housing office for the for the apartment and it was all a scam it was all a scam like they're like well what if we knock five hundred dollars off what if we knock a thousand dollars off you can get any month you want off it was like for what just give me the $31.99 nigga like I'm not asking you told me this one number why has it changed since I got approved so what you're saying is we should go rob the the landlord tell me why i'm back on zillow.com the apartment is still listed as 3199 so now now i want another friend to pull up right i need a girl you got time i need some i need you to go in time what you want me to do you go in and says is it 3199 yeah that's what it is

and then i'm gonna apply again with all the same information can i do that let's go see the apartment girl you're gonna have to go and i'm gonna have to in in now it's a totally different agent on on the listing now they can't do this they simply just can't do it's one price that listed and then when you apply they tell you it's another price but the but the twist is you get two months free and i told them on the phone i don't want two extra months i want the 12 months nigga that you said i was supposed to have for the year and 3199 which is still a lot of money for that neighborhood. Yeah.

I mean, it's all, there's like construction over there. It's up and coming, but it's not. The first time I heard a white woman say she lived in Bed-Stuy, it was like maybe 2012. So like 12 years ago. And I was shocked. And now, yeah, Bed-Stuy is pretty beige, babe. I'm sorry.

Every time I'm over there, I see my people. And so, and then. Well, Bed-Stuy is long. It depends also where in Bed-Stuy. I haven't been everywhere. And then I'll be all over the world. No, you're right. But it made me so upset because I was just so close.

I was like, December 1st, December 1st, I'm going to be in my air matrix. I'm going to be like close to the floor. And I'm going to have a fa la la la la la la la la la. I'm going to have like a little tiny Christmas tree. And I'm ready. I'm going to be walking around butt naked with no curtains. You can still accomplish that. Oh, girl, I'm spending that money.

I said, fuck it. No, no, no. No, I'm not. I mean, it's just ridiculous. It's just, it's insane. And so if anybody's listening when this comes out, it's like, hey, what's up? Send me, I need a two bed, two bath, $31.99. Or I need to just drop the link for the apartment.

I need everybody to say they want to see their apartment. And if they say it's $31.99, we're all pulling up and be like, you lied. You're lying. But then people will know where you live if you get the apartment. We all family. In the club, we all family. In the club, we all fail. I'll make sure everybody can use the washer and dryer in the gym.

Whatever. We just need an apartment. You will get one. And it's going to happen for December 1st. We still got... We don't. We don't have enough time. We still got a week.

We don't have enough time. This is how I found my apartment last week of the month. Okay? So I'm just saying, you know? Mess. Mess. Fully mess. Well, I got some mess for y'all.

Yes. So I was in L.A. a couple weeks ago. Mm-hmm. And this guy stood in my DMs and he said, hey i would love to take your photos and i said photos this guy is a professional i said okay it's gonna be in essence it's gonna be cover of vogue right so i i meet him in a public place right we went to like the grove or whatever and i was like oh yeah i can get kidnapped here like this is you know people it's witnesses he's a nice guy the grove is kind of crowded though i

will say sure but i'm saying like crowded is good yeah you're saying crowded so i can still get caught yeah yeah whenever you see those movies where like somebody's kid is like you know hanging out and then all of a sudden it's like snatched and you can't find them because there's so many other kids and so many i don't don't have any children okay so why would i be looking for but you're tiny you're giving adolescent baby girl baby you're giving back back back back too much shit in here I got guns in my backpack in case you guys were wondering

so I meet this guy in a public place I did not get kidnapped and he's like ooh what did he look like though? he looked like no one that I can describe that the people listening would know he looked like our friend Bomo oh Bomo's hot

yeah Bomo's a good looking guy Bomo's hot and he got property shout out to Bomo hey but yeah yeah yeah so you know like like a blurred right like a nice black blurred actually black blurred is redundant is yes blurred blurred and uh you know he had his little camera around his neck i said okay he's a professional and he's tall 5'5 with brown eyes

Star like the sunshine He wasn't tall Okay But he wasn't short Okay I don't know What's the average height For a man

Like 5'10 5'9 5'9 5'10 Yeah Whatever He was like that Okay

He's like You want something to drink Like a juice or something Absolutely Absolutely I said So crazy I felt like Spongebob

When he gets out of the water And he just be drying up mm-hmm we gonna get a little juice no I get a little boba he pays for it I was like oh you don't have to you don't have to pay I can't believe you said that where's my friend that's not something she would say you would say absolutely I said oh you don't have to pay for that and he was like no no it's fine we get to talking right he starts talking about findom I said each one teach one what does that mean friend oh findom short for financial domination okay i said oh how do we how do we get to this topic we were just talking about boba like

well how we get here i love the transition let's go he's like yeah i got friends that do it i was like oh where do they meet people he's like you know like field and websites like that i said i gotta get back on field okay so if you're listening and you don't know what financial domination is you know it's just you know people send you money when you ask them to and maybe you belittle them a little bit no sex involved i don't know maybe i don't know different people do different you know sign me up i would love you know what i can absolutely humiliate you while you give me coins on coins girl get you a little uh fin dom guarantor damn that's what i need give me your fucking money you loser you little piggy and then you're like what and you're like i just

can i can you send me some money i just need your name on the list thank you so much hey can you just sign that can you send your bank statement yes i need your bank statement and your w9 right now immediately okay okay so he buys me this juice we take a couple pictures and then we're like looking for another place to shoot we're passing a flea market i was like oh let's go to the flea market i'm almost ready to buy something we go in he pays for me to get into the flea market obsessed it costs six dollars i said oh you didn't have to now the sentence is getting shorter because i'm like you have to pay for the juice oh you didn't have to but i also didn't want to pay for the thing so i was like oh six dollars to get in a flea market things have changed man this

everything is give me your money give me your money i gotta pay six dollars six dollars to look at people's old stuff use things six dollars for use thing that's great that's insane that's and what if you just window shop and you don't buy anything that's why it's six dollars you gotta go with a man that's gonna pay six dollars okay right going so he pays for me to get in i'm looking at stuff i'm looking at stuff i was like oh i like these sunglasses i get two pairs he pays for the sunglasses that's it i like that oh you oh okay thank you um we're walking out we're still taking pictures the pictures are coming out really cool um we get to this these pants that i see that i'm like oh i like these pants but now it still hasn't really clicked for me what's really going on he's

trying to pay for everything you want he's trying to pay for everything but i'm like it hasn't fully computed yet because i would have bought more stuff oh because you're being a strong black woman dude like i don't need no man i got it well it's not even that i don't need no man because i'll i'll take the stuff but like i don't like in my mind i'm still gonna have to pay for some of the stuff so i'm like i don't want to pay for those things my bag is already overweight if i really love it i'll buy it if i if i like it i'll come back right but he'll come back but what if he's not there with you no no no i mean like come back to the booth like this lady had like these really cool chains and i was like

oh i want a necklace and i'm like how much you like 30 and i was like oh that's not quite what i want to spend here but i didn't know he was buying stuff like all the stuff um anyway i get to these pants i see them the guy takes them off the mannequin because you know i'm mannequin sized And I'm like, how much for the pants? He's like, 70. I was like, okay, cool, whatever. I haven't spent any other money today. I'll get them.

And he's like, oh, yeah, maybe your boyfriend can get them. And I was like, that's not my boyfriend. And I looked at him. You said it so loud. I said it so loud. You did not whisper. You have to use your inside voice, Marie. My inside voice is other people's outside voice.

But I was like, that's not my boyfriend. And then I looked at him, and he had his wallet in his hand when I said it. And then after I said it, the wallet went away. But he wasn't your boyfriend. so why why are you putting your wallet away sir put it back out because the fact is the fact you are not my man but that is my money not my man but yes my money you're not my man but that's my money yes i put that in title title um but i was like oh maybe i should have maybe i should have said something else because i don't know maybe that's the maybe that's the fin dom that

he needs, you know? I'm gonna pay, but you gotta let people think that we're together. But that's weird. Is it? That's weird. I don't know. Maybe, you know, it's a little role play. It's like, hi, table for two? My husband and I would like a seat by the

window. And he's like, ooh, you can get an entree and an apple. Escorts come and pretend to be you owe everything for money. And that ain't you. He just wouldn't give you money. Yeah, but technically then he would be the escort. Oh, right.

Interesting. I like the way you turn that around. He would be the escort. I guess so. Because I'm spending time here. Okay, damn. Am I the escort? Yeah.

Am I the escort? Am I the escort? Another title. That's merch, frankly. I like that. Am I the escort? That's the name of our new book. Oh, girl.

Anyway, so I paid for my own pants. And that's not what I wanted to hear. So we must move on. Well, hold on. That's why. But that's why it's Miss. So he says that he listens to the podcast. So I'm just going to say, hey, if you're listening to this right now. Hello. I can't believe you made me pay for my own pants. I can't believe you didn't get me any pants.

So if you're listening to this and I know you are, go ahead and send me $70. And I'm going to say double it because there's two of us. Two for one. Yeah. I mean, if that's not in the budget right now, you don't have to double it. But you should definitely send me to 75. Matter of fact, send me 75. Oh, Marie. Yeah, send me 75 because $5 for my emotional suffering. Come on.

And then if you want a Venmo, Sydney, you should too. What's your Venmo? What's your Venmo? Your man is my man. And your man is your man. Your man is my man. And my man is your man. Yes, no, you're damn.

Okay, so was there any like vibes, sparks? was you into it or yeah it was fives every time he swiped his card um but also he was a cool guy we had a nice time the convo was flowing yeah and then we went and got food after because he was like yeah you know i i because i was like do you have any mess for me to share on the podcast and what what is he was thinking for a long time and i was like damn like if you don't you don't have to say nothing marie stop edging me tell me girl well that's when he was like yeah this this girl that i was seeing ghosted me because i think i maybe came off too strong and i was like ghosted you sir you owe me another 70 for wasting my time well i said ghosted you what that mean like why

why would she do that and he said i guess he was sending her money and she ghosted him okay that woman honey we got to put her on the prayer list because what well how much was you sending her maybe if you she ghosted you because you wasn't really you know oh you know wait i don't know marie what come on what i remember somebody used to venmo me fifty dollars every month fifty dollars every month and i and like i eventually um slept with them no oh i and i eventually met up oh who is this person that was it's just a friend it's just it's just somebody who's who listens to the pod you know coming to a show like they're nice nice yeah hold on I was on the same podcast

and was not getting $50 a month do you want to look at the name and see maybe that's crazy let me see the name um

or pull it up after well she hasn't given me money in a long time sis yeah so that's probably why you didn't get sis you're not here

for the she's but you also did you hook up with her no so you also wasn't here for the she I could be which I wasn't

if she would have left a note on the Venmo like $50 for us later then i could have been like hey for us later i don't you know putting a down payment on the hey i'm just i would like to reserve a crumb of coochie for tonight can you spare crumb a crumb of the coach wait i just want to make sure that i didn't make this

well what say you know i'm not trying to burn a bridge i'm a big fan of this person's work oh yes you know but please send the money oh yeah well also anybody listening here everything is in jest okay this is all for ha ha ha hee hee hee if anybody takes anything when we say seriously that's you okay that's actually kind of gross because i hate i hate when because you know people have been saying i was listening to the pod i heard the pod pop pop i love that you are using your ears you do that but once you start saying i feel that's not what this pod is for feeling no we're here to have fun we're laughing we are it is always a good time the world is a mess here we talk about the mess don't don't bring us that energy like i can't believe

you said this song about what yeah we need we this is our safe space listen i'm just listen listen we just here to provide yes uh somebody get the church music church music funny toxicity for girls. Becca, send the church music. The organ. I want a choir to come in in the back. I believe I can. No. We will not. Marie. Oh, happy

day. What's wrong with you? Jeez Louise. Listen, I was at Texas State the other day and there was a talent show that I was judging and one of the kids he was like 19 years old sang I Believe I Can Fly and the crowd went

wild. No. I said, is the song back no it's not back it's back it's not from the artist no you cannot because the song was first of all these people weren't even alive when the first space jam came out which is insane what they're not even connected to it like us but you hear what i'm saying they don't even know that that's an r kelly song they're just like this is if i can see i was like marie i was like what song is that i could not i was like what Hit back and see. No.

I'm singing the college version, not the R. Kelly version. Marie, you are, hey, I'm going to hold your hand when I say this. No. And she hit me. She hit me. No, no. She bit my finger off. But Marie, I will say that what's not mess is people showering us, us, us with gifts,

Venmos, trips, photos, things of like, you know, Delta, sky. Bye, Miles. It's so crazy that it's us now, but it was you getting that $50. No, I'm all alone for decades. But Marie, remember when I got Ubers? I got Ubers for us for years. Yeah. Come on.

Don't make me tickle you. Yes. Don't forget. Girl. Never forget, sister. listen you know what we need to forget about what we talk about um this netflix fight this tyson fight oh girl so mike tyson is like 60 and the dude that he fought jake paul is like 30 insane so they said netflix got 60 million households watching that fight which is explains the

buffering yes but that's and and Netflix is not used to that that's that's the tea the tea is they they never had that much people running up the the app like that right because people left Hulu they left HBO they said let's go to Netflix let me log in on my father's brother's sister's mother's account but wait there was a reunion for love is blind the same thing happened like people were upset they were like don't fucking waste our time like that again like just record it and put it out like this is crazy so i mean netflix i see i see what you're what you did there the good thing is is that if netflix which is i guess million dollar billion dollar company or whatever is making big mistakes like that then we can too nothing has to be perfect well nothing not

everything needs to be live loving blind reunion absolutely could have been pre-taped edited down and then uploaded at on a certain day at the time that they promised a boxing match or a football game or something like that like being live sure but netflix is trying to get into like sports now and it's like no stick to stick to django unchained stick to stick to the rivers and the lakes that you used to sir um also i watched the fight barely it my eyes hurt i i was like i have to take a Somebody wake me up when this is over. First of all, Mike Tyson, I know you wanted to secure the bag. But it's like, if you are a legend, if you are that girl, right?

Why would you even put yourself in the ring? I just. Because he needed the money. I guess so. I don't know how much he got paid. I think $20 million or something like that. And Jake Paul got $40? I think they got the same check.

No, no. There's different money. If you win, you get $40. Yeah, maybe. I mean, maybe the winner gets more money. But I feel like the one of them is an actual boxer and the other one is a child. Well, the other one, he that's his thing. He just fights.

He just like challenges older boxers. And I'm sure the way that I saw the fight, the bits and pieces, it just seemed like this is rigged. Like y'all knew. Yeah. Y'all knew Mike wasn't going to win. Yeah. And felt like it felt like they were like, hey, let's not hurt each other too hard. Yeah.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the two women that fought before them. Oh, my God. I think it was like Taylor and Serrano. That was insane. Now, that was a fight. I mean, this the Taylor girl was knocking this Serrano out, like punched, basically of like punched a new wing into her eyebrow. Like her eyebrows was hanging off the hinge.

The eyebrows or the lashes? The eyebrow. The actual, the meat, the eyebrow meat was hanging off like a door. Like it was flapping. It was disgusting. Blood was everywhere. That's exactly how the Mike Tyson and Jake Paul or Jake London, whatever his name is. That's how that fight should have went.

But it was real demure, real mindful. Listen, Mike Tyson had his AARP card in his boxing glove. He was not about to do nothing too crazy. And you know what? maybe i knew something was wrong when i saw clips before they even fought mike tyson's ass was out what and i didn't my eyes were bleeding i did not want to see that i did not sign up for that and that's how i knew i was like this is this is just entertainment this is not a real fight you're not here for tyson booty this is like wwf now it's a joke okay wait so is this true uh a

porn site offered mike tyson 250 000 to show his butt for one hour yes cam soda was like hey we have an offer for you boy which is insane because it's like well if you lost if he if he lost and got 20 million dollars right why would he then go on a porn site and only get quarter of a million that's not enough money wait so he got to show his butt for an hour can it be like the clip from the news looped for 60 minutes? Because then, if I've already done it,

my ass is already out. Just loop that and send me my money. The girls on TikTok was like, oh, I didn't know he had it like that. I don't want to see it.

I don't want to see Peepaw's booty. Peepaw? Peepaw. He's 60. He's somebody's grandfather. Girl. He's basically

the guy from Up. No. He's the grandfather from Up. The guy from Up was like 100 years old. That's Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson is not a hundred years old.

That's Mike Tyson. In boxing years, he's a thousand years old. You usually stop after a certain age. He's still going. I didn't get it. Girl. Well, girl, he needs money. I guess.

I mean, he's making money. He's working. He's like, I don't know. But how much money would someone have to pay you to show your butt for an hour? Honey, I didn't show my butt for free. Okay, so give me a number. I don't even know anymore. I'm like what would it go for

I mean $18,000 I would want my whole rent paid off at least for the year for my butt so whatever $4,000 $31.99 times 12

that's how much I'm going to need let's see what Sydney's booty booty hole is worth I didn't say hole I did not say hole friend I said butt Right, but the whole is implied. So $38,000 pretty much.

Yeah. It's $39,000. Yeah, $39,000. Yeah. How much would it cost for you to show your ass? On TV? Online? Or a porn site?

On a porn site? Yeah. I don't know, like for an hour? I'd take the Mike Tyson check. $20 million? No, the $200,000. I'll do it for $100,000. Oh, $100,000?

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I see that. No, no, no. You know what? You always got to go higher. For me, I was just like, I just need a year paid.

I'm too low. You're right. Thank you for getting me in order, Maria. I appreciate you. You know what made me so mad? It's like, hey, dude, we had a fucked up week. Now you're lost. Like, Mike Tyson, we can't take L's right now.

We needed a W. We did need a W. We needed you to beat his ass. yeah we needed you to beat the white off the rice beat the white off the bone that's crazy wow i can't believe i said that but yes we needed that and uh he didn't succeed and i hope i hope the money's worth it tyson it is because he didn't break his neck he didn't million dollar baby himself yeah they both were like okay let's just box i'll throw some punches i'll lean on you a little bit i'll let you i'll bring my glove up and then we don't die we all win that's a mess

it is great and then this is this will lead us into the other thing jake paul his stupid like message at the end it felt very like make america great again what was his message i didn't see it it's basically like like we're back like america's back baby like you know trump's in office like i'm He said that? White people are beaten in boxing again. He said white boy summer? Pretty much. Chet Hanks.

He Chet Hanksed it. Yeah, sure did. He went full Chet Hanks? Pretty much. I mean, it's clear that he endorsed Trump. I think he said it. I feel like everyone is talking about politics right now. And it's like, like my therapist was talking about it on the day after election day.

What was she talking about? You know, she was just talking about, you know, why Kamala lost. everyone is a political analyst now everyone has an opinion on what happened and why it happened and what's about to happen in america and it's like you don't even know what you're talking about like you and your therapist are real close because i said sis i'm gonna pay you for this now i don't i don't pay you for your opinions that's you are pretty tight with me right now i mean we've been together since 2021 that's true it's like hey girl how you feeling and didn't you used to pay like $25?

No, I think you got me confused with somebody else. You totally got me. That is this. Sydney, how much do you pay your therapist? Oh,

God, how much do I pay you? Jesus. What are the tithes that I spend every week on you? Girl, every week you tithe him?

Every week I'm tithing. He deserves. He's an awesome guy. Girl, just because you know the song don't mean you going to heaven. It's just crazy that like you know we can't not talk about politics but like when i was bartending they

were they told me there's three things i wasn't supposed to talk about politics religion and money i think i think you're right because you're not supposed to like talk about how much rent you pay or like how much you make a year um yeah religion politics and you know during the this election it was very much so boots on the ground. Who are you voting for? What are you doing? We need everybody out here making sure that everybody is voting. And everybody has to vote for the right person.

Or in quotation, you know, Kamala. So after the election, and this happened to me. This is a mess. As a black woman, it is not my job. I am not going toe to toe. I'm not trying to educate people on like why, hey, Trump is not good for the economy or just anybody's well-being. If you're POC, gay, trans, you're not a rich white man. That's not my job. And the people who want to do that, more power to them.

I salute you. Thank you for that work. I, I am not doing that. Because in 2020, when we were dealing with Black Lives Matter and all the heavy lifting, all the infographics, all the reach out and touch someone, all the white guilt tours that was happening, that was exhausting. And I'm not doing that again. I refuse. So if I feel like if a black woman is not talking about politics, let her rest. Yeah, let her rest.

It's okay. You know who's probably pissed that he won? Probably the most pissed. Who? Melania. You think so? I'm sure she was trying to, she had a backpack that was by the door. She was about to leave.

And then he went and it was like, ugh. Wait, I thought you were going to say Beyonce was the most mad. Why? Well, you know, I've never seen her in any campaign. For her to come out for Kamala and then Brock Kelly, she was like, girl, come on now, they want me. I need you to come. She heard her emotional support friend, hey, babe, they need me for this and I need you to come as well. I don't know if Beyonce is mad about anything. She is fine either way. Like she's a billionaire or a millionaire or whatever. So rich people are going to be fine under Trump, even if she didn't vote for him. Like she's going to be fine. She's good.

Yeah, but she says, I'm here. I'm not here as a celebrity or somebody who make money. I'm here as a mother. And that's, you know, that's valid. And her kids are also millionaires. I know. And she can send them to school in Switzerland where they can actually learn how to read. Because in America, the people be like, the finger. I think I could. I think I could. Reading is hard.

Yeah. In America. Hooked on phonics. It works for me. It's trying, friend. Girl. Listen, I don't feel bad for none of the rich people. And I don't feel bad for none of the people who voted for him.

I say, we'll see what happens. Let's see how this plays out, you know? You know, the way I wake up every morning and a bone is hurting and my back is tired and my brain is fried. I don't even know how long I'll be here, but I do know that Trump is everything that America stands for, if you ask me. Oh, I think he's the most effective.

The loud and wrong and not qualified and, you know, ready to wreck havoc and fuck shit up that's that's america that's america so so uh for me and this and this is another reason why i don't like talking about politics it just makes me mad it just makes me go to something else oh yeah pivot i see it you just beat a sweat on your forehead the wig was like i'm in the uber girl i said girl we are not on the daily show we can pivot we can leave this behind and talk about literally anything else pass me a glass of water cool me down here's a What's next on the docket?

Okay, well, here's a question for you. Okay. Would you rather be let go or, like, would you rather be fired from a job or dumped by a person before the holidays? Or, like, before the holidays and then you suffer through the holidays and you're, like, pinching panties? Or enjoy the holidays and then, like, January, top of the year, they say, actually, we gonna, this is not working for me. We gotta let you go. Who's worse, being let go before or after? I don't know.

No, I don't. I don't ever want to be let go. I've been broken up with during Pride and that that felt like an attack that no, that felt like not an attack. But that felt like getting let go during the holidays. Actually, it was a gay holiday. So, yes, I didn't it didn't feel good. So and this is this is a time where people are like, hey, actually, there's I don't want to get this person a gift. I don't want them to meet my family. So breakups are happening. A lot of breakups are happening right now because they're like, actually, this feels like a lot of heavy lifting I have to do before the new year. So I might as well just drop them off right now, right before Thanksgiving. So is that the advice?

Like if you're in a relationship with somebody and it's kind of rocky or you're like, I don't really think this is my person, leave them before the holiday? I don't know. I think get the gift. No, Marie. The gift is not worth it. Get your stocking stuff, sis. It's not worth it, Marie. Uh-uh.

Ho, ho, ho. If it's a loose situation, sure. But if it's a serious situation, I think not. I don't know. Why? Well, the thing is, is that if you want to break up with somebody, right? Yes. You wanted to break up with them in October.

So what's the difference between October and December? What's the difference between December and January? Holidays are already, I'm going to plead my case. and then you complete yours okay yeah because I hear what you're saying it's a mess it's definitely mess I mean breakups are already hard they're already messy yeah holidays are already hard for a lot of people right it's just the season to be sad or just the season to feel like oh I don't have a family like that or I'm not with my family like that or whatever so if you're talking about me bitch damn I'm talking about it's a lot of people listening to this that like you don't

got family issues or whatever um so it's like it's a really crazy time to be alone so why not wear the matching pajamas do all of that stuff with your boo and then you know when they say happy new year you say actually it's not working for me maybe not there maybe like martin luther king day i've done that before i've done that i've done that been with somebody during the holidays and then you know we don't make it to my birthday and my birthday is in february So that's, yeah, that's the top of the, why are we bringing this negativity into the new year? I'd rather you get all the, listen, don't, don't fuck up my already rough time. I don't want that.

So breakups should honestly be happening between August and October. Those are the times, that's the time to break up. If you have not made that decision yet, then, oh, you're going to have to carry your ass to Valentine's Day and then break up in March. Because March is a good time to reset. You're like, oh, I want to get my body in order before the summer. I want to get on a diet. I probably got that new job. I moved into a new apartment.

March is good. March is a good time to break up. March is a good breakup month because after March is... April. I don't know. I mean, I hear what you're saying. You don't think March is a good... Because March, first of all, is still cold, right?

It's still cold. So we're not really doing no beaches or any things of that sort. We sit in the house alone. We sit in the house, but that's time for reflection. You need to sit. You need to sit and sulk. I need to sit on him. No, you need to sit and sulk and reevaluate.

And then by May, you're already in your bag. You're like, oh, I want my revenge body. Yeah, I want to get my life in order. I'm dropping niggas off. I'm getting a whole new roster. It will actually move you into a good space for the summer. Well, I'm getting my roster together now for 2025, and we'll have people let go probably by June. By June?

Okay, I think June is a fucked up time to break up with someone. Why? Because you need a date to a wedding? Oh, and it's so many weddings. It's so many weddings in July. And we've already put our names in that we're coming together, and you broke up with me in June. Bring your sister. I'll come with you. Bring me. I love a wedding. June is messed up because it's not that hot yet. So it's like you're like, oh, I'm about to have me and you, you and me. And then it's just like, oh, it's just me, I guess.

I don't know. Honestly, any month you want to break up with somebody, do it. But I'm saying, like, if somebody's a good gift giver, let them stick around. And if you already got something for them that you feel like works for them, you know, give it to them or send them a gift receipt or whatever. But, like, I think the holidays are already depressing enough. So, like, be with your boo. Marie, you ever be with somebody that you're, like, you're with them and you're, like, this is annoying.

I think. Yeah, girl. Almost all of them. This is a mess. And this is not just, like, relationships. But it's friendships. It's jobs. Go home.

Go home. You don't need to be out. You don't need to be with these people. I hate pulling up and hanging out with people that I'm like, yo, did you really make me waste my outfit? I could have been home. It is. I think moving forward, we don't need to be doing nothing that we don't need to be doing. I agree.

You don't need to be. You ever you ever pull up to a dinner with someone you're like, yo, so I know what I'm bringing. I know I got the stories. I know I got the jokes. I know my card works. What are you bringing? Besides your card work? what like they just show up to the dinner like sadness from inside out just like i don't know

no not even sad not even sad just like you do you got a story it's the same like yeah so yeah everything's great like i i cannot oh i damn i can't stand that everything's great we when we're about to break bread if i open up that fucking croissant you better be hitting me with the tea well i mean because nobody's life is perfect nobody everybody's going through something I mean, look at Beyonce. Her candidate lost. She's definitely had a bad day that day. Our candidate lost.

Sure. Well, you know, I'm just saying. You know, everybody's had bad days and has bad days. So, yeah, don't show up trauma dumping at the dinner. But also, don't show up with nothing. You don't have nobody's tea to spill. You didn't chip a nail that I can laugh at. You didn't, your mom not mad at you.

Like, what's up? Yeah, yeah, I need to. Or give me something that's, like, motivating that I'm going to leave the dinner and feel like, ooh, let me, yeah, I need to go, like, work out or let me start that business or let me respond to some emails. Let me take $20 and start an LLC. Yes. You ever walk away from the dinner and you're like, I'm going to start that Little Cold Fires now. Little Cold Fires. That's my incorporating.

Oh, Little Cold Fires. Little Cold Fires. I did that. That's good, right? Ooh, okay. here's one that that's that's so fucking annoying that's mess um so and this this happened in New York so this really is hurtful for me this woman wins 10 million dollars from a lottery ticket thank god right but she only gets six million after taxes and so it's a mess that you win money

and you never really win the money it's like the money is going back to the house the house always win. The house always wins. The house is Uncle Sam. Yeah, and honestly, first of all, $6 million is not bad. I'll take that. I'll take a little $6 million. I'd be angry as hell about that $4 million. Hey, if you're listening, send me

$6 million. That's it. So, word on the street is, if you win the lottery, right, you have to ask for your money in increments. You can't get it all at once because then they're going to tax it

as a whole yeah they never never take it oh cash me out what's the increments i got i went 10 million what i get a million here and then a millionaire i haven't won friend i haven't won i don't know uh but i remember iyanla iyanla iyanla iyanla van zandt not in my house not in she had a woman who won like um i think 200 million dollars black woman 200 million she won 200 million dollars right but she asked i want all the money so then she don't get 200 million she's like down to i think like 130 something like that right she then bails out her boyfriend at the time who's in jail no no no no no no no no if i have 200 million dollars I am also now a single

woman. Because why are you in jail? Girl, you could buy you a new man with a PS5. Why the hell would you bail this man? So she bails the man out. The guy was in jail for he had a ton of heroin on him or something like that. He got arrested for drugs. Heroin feels like a poor

person drug, but that feels wrong. Is it for rich? Are you rich? Hey, addiction hits everybody, friend. But yeah. But are the rich doing heroin or? Apparently everybody. Equal opportunity drug. It's everybody, right? so she gets him out of jail it cost her 20 million dollars

to get this man out of jail what is he diddy cause no why was his bail so high cause it's so much

how much drugs he had on him or maybe they knew that she won the lottery so then she buys a plantation she buys a house on a plantation is this a white lady

no this is a black woman oh okay she does not know what to do with her money at all mind you the the government

already took so much out of taxes she gets this man out she's down to like Maybe in the hundred thousands after she spends everything. Hundred thousands? Yes. And now she own a plantation.

Now she like, I gotta get me some slaves. Marie, you're a mess. You're a mess. So, Yanla is there trying to show her like, hey. And the whole time, did not get a new wig. She did not get new bundles. She had her old wig on from when she didn't have money. She had the wig on from when she bought the ticket.

Yeah. Yeah, it was wild. I was like, girl, every time I saw a picture of her, I was like, so you didn't get a new unit? All that money. You could have had someone snatch the money. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. The pieces are starting to make sense now. She had a bad wig.

The man was doing heroin. She was with a white man. She built a white man out of jail and had the crusty Caucasian wig on. No, friend. But that is hilarious. She had the beige magnet closure. No, she had the, this is Walmart, the Walmart wig. Oh, she had on the Vivica A. Fox collection?

She did not, Marie, don't you say that. I did not stand by, Vivica, if you're listening, I love your wigs. You would not wear a Vivica A. Fox wig. I love your hairline, sis. You would show your butt for $50,000 before you would wear a Vivica A. Fox wig for free. Sis, Fox, I love what you're doing with bundles by Fox. I love what you're doing with it, sis. Sydney, I'm not doing it.

Marie, isn't it a mess that people don't know what to do with their money? I mean, me included. You know, I was making all that money all those years. Gone. Have no idea where it's at. Well, now I feel like I know what to do with it. I just need the money. So go ahead and send me that money.

Yeah, I think it is crazy that people don't know what to do with their money. But I also think when you come from a place of not having it for so long, when you get it, you be like, I got to get this. I got to get this. And then you got family members that are like, well, you know, I need a new hip and, you know, she needs new school uniforms. And, you know, my mama needs a new wine fridge. It's like you start buying stuff for everybody and then you look up and it's like, where's where's the money for me? Well, this is what I've learned.

Am I am I using what I've learned? No. When you make a ton of money like that, you have to get a financial advisor. You have to get an accountant. You have to get you a business manager. You have to get a business manager. There's so, like, you have to get people in order to, like, they have to take the money from, they cannot allow you to just be like,

and you get a car, and you get a car. And you, and you, and you, and you get a mansion. No, you get a plantation. You get some slaves. No, do not sing that. Why are you getting a plantation? And Ayala was looking at her like, sister, sister. Is this a plantation that Tyler Perry bought?

No, friend. She didn't turn it into a studio. She kept it as is. As is. Well, I mean, she might be able to sell that and make some of the money back. And whoever wants this plantation, you're going to be looking at them sideways like, I need to get rid of this, but I also, why you want this? No, no, no, no.

I'm not looking at you sideways. Give me my money. Did the check clear? Did the ACS hit? Did it hit my Swiss bank account? Okay. We have messy or just living. There's some good ones in here. Let's see. Ooh. Okay. Watching a customer's dog sniff around other people's food. So I told her that's disgusting. Woman claimed it was a service dog and it couldn't be on the floor, which is obviously lies. What is that? Messy or just living? That's mess. I mean, nobody lies more than a white person with a dog pretending that the dog needs a little vest. This is a service dog. Where's his little shirt? Where's the vest?

I just want to let you know. This dog is unemployed. No. A woman tried to get on a plane with a flamingo. I love that. And she said, this is my emotional support flamingo. I'm here for that. Where do you even put a flamingo on a flight? I'm obsessed.

First of all, a flamingo is felt, so it doesn't need that much of a seat. i'm i'm here for that first of all flamingo top three animals of all time i i'm obsessed and they're only on one leg oh i love a group of flamingos they look like they look like mean girls they look they judging you they looking side to side they're just like on thursdays we wear pink and also all the other days we wear pink no flamingos are like sexy dancers that don't have to dance like they those those those are the girls that come in the star tenders that just come in People just throwing money at them They don't have to do anything

They don't have to shake their tail feather or nothing Everybody's like, oh my god, we love you I would be cool with being reincarnated as a flamingo I like flamingos or peacocks Those are so beautiful Now, you know, only male peacocks have the feathers No way They do that so that they can attract female peacocks

That's so sexist Yeah, but when you think about animals in nature And this is so crazy that we as women And do all of this stuff to, like, zhuzh ourselves up. And men just show up in, like, sweats inside out. Yeah. But most of the animals in the animal kingdom, the pretty ones, is usually the male. Really?

The ones with the prettiest feathers or the nicest, I don't know, lizard skin or the whatever. Like, the longest eyelashes, they're usually male. Because they got to attract the female. Yeah. Like, even lions have those, like, big-ass manes. And, like, female lions, bald-headed. Wig push back. Damn, am I a lion?

No, I'm kidding. In the jungle, we are on the way. No, no. Okay, so I think it's, you know, people with their animals, it's very sensitive. And so her saying that it was disgusting, I think there could have been another way to say that. It is nasty. it is like even if you're like my dog is the cleanest it's still gross i don't want your dog's face anywhere near my food yeah i think i i'm for me get somebody else to do it i'm always going to

tell a maitre d a waiter a bartender somebody i don't want to have to be in contact with this person get authorities to like kick her and the the service dog out i don't want to have to go back and forth with anybody listen I agree with you on that I mean I might say uh-uh oh that's nasty I might make a big production of like sliding my food to another table and like you know maybe make some eye contact when I do it um after I say what I need to say but yeah I'm I'm all about now getting a conductor on a train or a flight attendant or somebody else involved because I'm not arguing with you. Listen.

We both in coach. I remember being at the movie theaters with our bestie Amina and we were watching A Quiet Place and she was there. And she is not A Quiet Place. Okay, well, none of us was quiet at the time because apparently,

apparently the woman who was next to us, like at the edge, she went and like told management that we were talking. and so three security guards come in the middle of the movie with flashlights it felt like a raid

it felt like the FBI was raiding the movie theaters and they were looking for baby oil shut up if you guys talk again you're getting thrown out that's what they said to us and I was like I wanted to turn around

and say bitch you could have just told us to be quiet we wouldn't have listened but I would have respected you more but then I was like you know what she said I'm not dealing with this nope

and I had to give I had to shake her hand for that no you didn't you let Amina watch her you shake her hand bitch and Amina was still

talking after it they were we were still talking we were still talking yeah black people should not go see

a quiet place because we don't know how to be quiet but also it's like why are we quiet in a movie let us say like we we are

the little seasoning that was not in the movie that was necessary. You need a little, like you need that. Yes. I think every movie needs a couple of those.

Yeah. I mean, not every time something happens should you be reacting to it, but I agree. And as black women, we are very passionate about cinema.

So we gonna talk because we got questions and maybe we're like, almost got me, but you gotta let us, let us chat a tiny bit. it's a it's a it's a part of our culture yeah it's a part of our culture and if you don't like it that's anti-black anti-black also if you're not talking at all during a movie you just quiet

though you have no reactions you're not jumping nothing weird it's like do you even like the movie you are are you even a fan of cinema well those are the people those are the same people that are having sex and they don't say anything at all and that's weird as well that is bad sex that's strange silent sex silence it's like we is free now babe say what you want during while you're getting your back blown out sex marie what's uh is this messy or just living having a dinner and not letting your guests know it's vegan i think that is a little bit messy because i think you should i should be warned before i get there that okay it's gonna be it's gonna be this and then if I get there and it's good vegan food, then I'm

pleasantly surprised. But that's why they're not telling you because they're like, well, first of all, if you know you know your friends, they're vegan. They've been vegan for 10 years now. Why would you think they would have meat at their dinner? New vegans pop up every day, B. Every day, somebody's like, I need to try this

for my skin, or I need to try this for my lifestyle. I need to try this because I'm dating a guy who gluten-free, and now everybody at the table gluten-free? now we all vegan we got to be vegan because you like david or whoever like oh you know you're not wrong at this you're not wrong but it's but the the thing is that people are like why would i it's like it i'm sober right why would i have a wedding with liquor i i don't drink i mean i want liquor

for my guests because they'll be miserable but for me personally it's like i don't drink why would i have a party with alcohol that that doesn't it's my party it doesn't suit me i understand what you're saying but you heard how you fixed it you said i would still have alcohol because my guests gonna be miserable if i don't so like you already know what you need to do right yeah but vegans are constantly like this barbecue nuggets that's really cauliflower or broccoli it's it's banging you gotta try it like they're always trying to be like hey be open to it and you not knowing that it's cauliflower you're not you're not allergic to that it's not against your religion to have cauliflower so they're thinking of it like what's the worst that could happen it would

be fucked up if i don't eat meat and then you didn't tell me it was meat like i'm i'm allergic that's against it's against my like you gotta tell people what isn't vegan but i think but like yeah i mean vegans if y'all was just trying to do food that tasted good cool but they'd be like this is a hot dog but it's really a carrot no no no but they don't even say that it's a carrot

they'll be like this is a hot dog and you'll be like damn this hot dog look juicy and orange as fuck and you're like oh you must have

put sasson on it and then you bite into it you're like oh the paprika a carrot is this a candy but that's what I'm saying a lot of these vegan people

they just they're trying to recreate what we already got and we already like scam artists that's what you are I mean we were at a wedding the other day

and one the bride was vegan and the groom is not and they had vegan options and non-vegan options. Yeah, but I did

go into something and I thought it was me and it wasn't and I was I was upset. I was like, what the hell is this?

I thought you didn't read the tiny card. Oh, you know, I hate the fine print is fucking too fine. Very thin. The fine print

fine as fuck. Fine as fuck. Okay, hold on. This is the last one that I want to read. Messy or just living. Okay. So people are getting salmon semen injected into their faces instead, like as a natural alternative to Botox to stimulate collagen production.

$500 or $800 a pop. First of all, where do you find the salmon semen? Who is rubbing these salmon down? Or are you cutting them open and then like, I got a lot of questions. Who's jerking the salmon off? That's nasty. I don't honestly, I think I think cosmetology or whatever, the beauty world, they are playing in our faces because they're like, you're like, you'll put anything on you. You'll put anything in you and on you.

So they're just constantly pranking us and say, oh, you know, this is this is better than Botox. This is this is better than fillers. And of course, we're like, we want to look younger. We want to look better. I'm sure I'll put semen underneath my eyes. Is that salmon semen on your face? no for a youthful uh bright eye no i did i do that you what's that the snail the mucus mucus yeah i put that on my face before okay and how did that make did it change i feel like

that was the big thing for a while it was like you got to put snail juice on your face if you want no lines you see how i look friend i don't know i maybe is it working i don't know i've done it how many times you use the snail juice i did it i did it for a month and i was like sure I guess I mean you know I can't keep up with the regimen so it's hard it's hard for me but I'm just I'm like what what's some good old-fashioned you know cold cream and you know some some Nivea like what what happened to like a regular bar of soap what happened to a bar of soap on your face girl you don't even do that girl okay but i mean this girl that i um follow in i think she lives in i thought she lived in

japan but maybe she lives in korea um she uh she got the treatment done and she was like all in her stories talking about it and she's like look no makeup no filter i'm 33 years old and this is what i look like after i get uh salmon semen sucked into my face and while i watch it after uh that she's a sex worker her name is a blue-eyed kayla on tiktok and she did it and she always looks like very like juicy and and you know she's they haven't semen or so it was nothing for her she was like this is part of the gig and but it did look like you know it made her face more juicy and filler is really bad for your face. So I guess should we go get some salmon semen?

Should we try it? Hey, why don't y'all open your purses and send us some coins so we can go get some salmon semen on us. Hey, if you're listening to this, go ahead and send us a case of salmon semen on ice. Oh, you know what? This episode is sponsored by salmon semen.

Should we get into our messages? Yeah, we have some audio today. We do. Yeah. Let's hear what you sound like. Our first audio. Hi, guys. I love your show.

Anyway, I have a story. My brother is married. He has two kids. And I go visit them like at least once a month in Brooklyn. I live in Newark. You know, I see people whenever I'm in the city. In August, my niece had a birthday. They didn't tell me.

I only found out when I was on the phone with my nephew. I try to call them once a week and just FaceTime them so that they don't forget my face, my nephew and my niece. Yeah, it was my, I found out when I was on the phone with my nephew, he just talks, you know, he's five years old. He just says everything. It was just like birthday. He was talking about a birthday. I was like, oh, whose birthday is this? Then he says my niece's name.

And I'm like, wow, okay. So I got on the phone with my sister. I was like, wow, that really, you know, you guys should tell me when, you know, I wish I could have been there for a birthday celebration. But I was, like, jokey-jokey about it because I didn't want to look too hurt. And she was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. It wasn't me. It was my sister, my little sister. She wanted to, you know, plan the birthday, and I didn't even plan it.

You know, I told her I don't want to plan it. And she said, if I'm not going to do anything, then she's going to do something. I was like, okay, no worries. I mean, I just wish I was there. She apologized, whatever, whatever. I'm still going over there once a month or whenever I'm in the city. I stop by after people are on their couch. I play with the kids

and in the morning I wait until they wake up I play with the kids and I go home sometimes I stay until 5 5 p.m. then I take the long

ass ride back to back to Newark Newark, New Jersey oh my god and what happened what's the mess

now come October same thing I call them that night to say hi and FaceTime them I FaceTime her she picks up my sister-in-law

and then she goes oh my god I'm so sorry I was having a thing for She says my nephew's name I was having a thing for my nephew Oh

What happened? She ran out of time? Damn Okay So Should we read one? Like what you wanna do with that one Sydney? I don't know

I just Hey guys I know Y'all got stuff for us But we need to You gotta get to the point You gotta tell us What

Who the mess is about when the mess happened and then the mess. That's what the who, what, when, where, why. Yeah. Who, what, when, where, mess. Just real quick

because we... Yeah. Now I'm like, well, where's the rest of it? Where's the rest of the mess? This is a mess, actually. This was the mess. But it seemed...

Let's put the pieces together. Okay. Was the sister-in-law into her? Oh, you always think somebody's gay. I do. She thought about her nephew

and her niece and birthday parties, you say, it's the sister. It's her. That's the only, that's the only issue it could be.

Sister-in-law isn't attractive. Well, walk us through it. Why is this where you landed with it? Because she gave her a dress.

She's always smiling at her. But then it was weird because it's like, why aren't you inviting her to the, to the niece and nephew? But also,

if you know your niece and nephew birthday is coming up, why are you not asking questions? I'd be like, so what are we doing? Right.

What are we doing for the kids? You speak to them once a week. Yeah. You go there once a month. That's not really adding up. That's a mess for me. But if she's sleeping on the couch, like, are you leaving a mess? And they say, well, we don't want her to sleep here on the day of the party.

Oh, yeah. Chuck E. Cheese is going to sleep on the couch. That's tea, actually. Maybe it's that. Maybe. I don't know. But, hey, guys, when you're giving mess, we ain't got three minutes. You got to be able to wrap it up in.

250. Yeah. 250 babes. Okay. So what's the next one? You know what's messy? Not having any messages. That's crazy, Marie.

That's mess. That's insane. But you know what? We had enough mess for everybody. But you guys have to do better and make sure that we have some mess for next week. Because this is unacceptable. This is a goddamn mess. I mean.

We'll be okay. Let's put something on the print. let's do our prayer list and then get off how about that i don't have anything to add to the prayer list you don't do this every week i thought if something came up and you don't have any prayers marie you're blessed no it's not even about that you want me to do this every week no no i'm saying i think in real time as we're talking about stuff we'll put it on the prayer list you'll be like oh you know what you should put that on the prayer list but yeah like okay but you know what sydney what you got

what you got for the prayer list no it's fine what you got no no no totally fine what you got

I was just gonna say hey I would like you to have more than one financial dom situation that's what you're putting on the prayer list

yeah I would like you to have several for different things you know hmm one for like traveling one for like

odds and ends and then one for meals one for oh yeah Well, sometimes you can get one person to do all of that, but. Oh, you got something? Okay, Sydney, let me put something on the prayer list for you then.

I would like to add Sydney's credit score. Ooh, girl, please. Because I think as it goes up, everything around you is also going to be, like, easier to figure out. It's at, it's almost at 670 right now. oh so it was at allegedly when they first did the background check it was 577 which not there's no way there's no it just it's not possible there's no way well credit wise is a damn lie because it was telling me 637 oh well maybe they put something else on there i don't know credit wise you got to use um what do i use i use credit karma oh yeah trans trans something

trans yeah okay come on trans union you got they them credit yeah i don't know but yes i think you know the next time we have the pod i want to be situated you want to be a home i am in a home but i would like to be situated in a sense where they you know they're telling me it's the one price and it's right and then i'm i'm moving in i don't have much to move in i have a lot of Stuff from Rainbow and Zara and, you know, a little vanity and that's it. Listen, let's all bow our heads and close our eyes and pray to the gods above. Whoever you believe in. Yeah, whoever you believe in.

Whoever you believe in. You know, some people, as long as you don't believe in Elon Musk, we don't praise him. Oh, no, no, no. No. Praise him. No, we don't praise him. No. Anyway, that was it.

That was a little messy moment. I hope you have a good little holiday. Yes, please. Think of us. Think of us while you're going to see your family. Talk about us to your family, to your mom, your single mom. Hopefully, I have some tea for y'all in the next couple episodes. Oh, I know you are.

Well, because you know my mom and sister are not really talking right now. No, still? I told my sister to come to Thanksgiving to confront her. She has to. Pull up on her on the black rice and the ribs. I said, come to Thanksgiving and talk to her face to face. And then my sister was like, you know what I'm going to do? That I'm going to leave and I'm not going to take any food to go.

Oh, wow. That's how you hurt my mom's feelings. You leave her food behind. You eat and then you say, no, I'm full. And then you go. Well, I like that. That's mess. I said, you're going to leave with tears in your eyes.

I said, I'll get a couple bowls. Bring me back some, sis. Well, this has been another amazing episode of Mess. Please send us your messages. You know where to call us. You know where to email us. Make sure the messages are under like two minutes. Smidge.

We need a smidge of a message. We need two minutes. Get it all in. Put all the mess in there and then we'll share it on the pod. Cool? Gorgeous. Okay.

Bye. Bye. We are doing mess live. Can you believe? December 1st at Union Hall in Brooklyn, New York, 5 p.m.

after brunch. Have your second brunch with us. What? Bottomless. Because I'm not wearing pants. See you then. Washington and Marie Faustin is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast. Created and hosted by Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin. Executive produced by Olivia

Aguilar and Han Sani. Super produced by Becca Ramos. Edited and mixed by Brian Jeffries. If you would like your messages read on air, please email us at messthepodcast at gmail.com or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588. you