MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - You Pickin Up What I’m Putting Down w/ Mandii B

Episode Date: May 1, 2025

This week Sydnee and Marie are joined by fellow iHeart Royalty Mandii B! The three chat dating, and really age gap, MESS. Mandii gives the ladies all the TEA on love, sex, dating, and more!  Don’t forget to write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you're listening to mess oh wow girl are we recording we are is the mic on is the mic on it's on one two one two one two what is this oh hi hi sydney spring has sprung girl you got a sheer shirt you see my elbows are out they're very ashy but they're out and so are my knees girl you got a hot date after this no i just was like you know i've been trying to figure out what the hell i'm wearing day to day i just i've been trying to not put on a black turtleneck that's that is my goal i wake up and i say if you put the fucking turtleneck on i'm gonna jump out the window for show so i said let me bury you in a black turtleneck when you die please don't please don't what if it's a turtleneck dress no put me in the selena bra with the rhinestones the

High-waisted pants. I'm going to do the Selena bra and the American Apparel disco high-waisted pants. Now, let me tell you, those pants were something else because it was a certain girl that could fill it out and make it look right. But whenever I wore it, it just looked like a shiny spoon, like a red, like the hump. You had the red one? I had the red one. Oh, you thought she was in Greece? Oh, surely. I don't even know the song for Grease. But yeah, I was like, somebody cue it in, put it in.

Fucking the song, the white people, Grease, not the black people, Grease. The black people, Grease is Dax. Yes. What was I going to say? Oh, let's just get right into it. My mess is why do I have to lose something when I'm doing self-care? What you mean? Like give something up? Yes. What you trying not to give up, Fred? So, you know, every show I'm going to talk about, I'm going antidepressants, y'all. I am doing the work. Uh-huh.

Lost my ass. Oh. Let me see. Put it on the screen. I mean, these are bad pants to show. Well, girl, you can't put on the biggest pants that you got and be like, I'm a bot. No, no, no. Mecca said she seen it.

Hold on. I see it. No, you don't. Put your butt on the mic so the people can hear it. No. Nothing. Yeah, I don't. I do not have a butt anymore.

Like, I can fit the pants that I couldn't fit before, but the butt is gone. Sydney, if you don't have a butt no more, what do I have? Friend, you have a butt. Girl, bye. You have muscle. If you don't have a butt, what do I have? I have a long back. No, I'm going to, honestly, I'm going to post a picture of me before the antidepressants and now.

Like, my girl saw me. I said, I said, hold on, hold on. I said, I have some bad news. She said, what is it? I said, my ass is gone. She said, yeah, I was looking for it all night. i said drag me out beat me up she was looking for that i was feeling she was like i was feeling for i said i don't know but she's like long as long as my baby's happy that's all that matters

oh and i said how can i be happy without ass how can i be happy after that comment no no no i need the ass is good that makes me happy i i don't want to be sad but i do like that depression Well, if she couldn't find it, that means she didn't eat it. I never said that. Never said that. That means she knew where it was. Never said that, honey. Not a word for all of that ass.

That is my mess. So, yeah, that's the thing. It's like my appetite is gone. But I feel light. So is my anxiety. You feel light because you have no fat in your body. That might be it. No food in your system.

I need it back. So hopefully I get back to where I need to be with the ass. You know, that's so crazy. This is what I hate about people who have big booties. They come on, they complain. You act like you're on Ozempic. Girl, you on antidepressants. It's people listening to this.

It's starving butts all over America. It's people who've never had ass. And you're like, I lost my butt. It's still there. Is there any flapjacks in the audience? Just clap your paper plates together for us. We love that you listen to us weekly. Girl, I'm not doing this with you.

What's your mess? What's your mess? Come on. I mean, I guess my mess is I had two mimosas before I got here. No way. What? We'll see how the podcast goes. Girl, two mimosas?

Two mimosas. Wait, how did this happen? What you mean? I went to the doctor. Uh-huh. Found out I'm not dying. Okay. Which is, you know, always a fear.

Celebration. Brand new Ghana card. It's really like her. I was like, the office is nice. I can't believe my insurance is paying for this. And, you know, basically a clean bill of health. Okay. You know.

Clap. Yeah. Clapping my flat cheeks together for you. Pop. And then it turned into kind of like a day date. You know, an impromptu, spontaneous thing. and then I went and got some food and you know to celebrate

I was like I should get some cranberry juice but instead I got a couple mimosas and then I came to work so I'm excited to be here and see how the words flow out of my face You're doing a great job and I think in some countries mimosas are

cranberry juice Which countries? Sydney is the loo loo today I'm trying, I was trying to uplift us but you know who's going to do some lifting today? Our guests. I ain't lifting nothing. Our guests.

You don't even let us bring us in. Every episode I have to fight with these guests. You just will not let us bring you in professionally. They said it's called mess. What are you waiting for? Just let us come in. Go ahead. We'll bring her in.

She's the host of Decisions Decisions and the brand new podcast that Sydney and I were just on. selective ignorance which I mean like what that mean like we which one of us

is ignorant I mean we choose to remain in our ignorance a lot we love it sometimes someone could be like let me teach you

something and we be like you know what I'm not in the mood to learn nothing today yeah learning is hard anyway it's Mandy

she's in the building right now hey Mandy Mandy what's going on I'm really excited to talk to y'all today even though

I'm like literally one of the listeners of Mess that be like damn another guest it's a whole thing y'all hopefully y'all like my ass no y'all stay tuned in and i'm gonna let sid aries go ahead and give all the tea and let them talk mandy does message us regularly and she'd be like who the hell is

this guest oh my god i'll be in the group chat dying by the way i love it like we y'all don't need no more guests we do need guests and you we love that you're here because you're shining shining shining shoulders out hello somebody who listens to the podcast yes on it what what What do you like about M.A.S.S.? Like, what do you think the people listening like about M.A.S.S.? Y'all. Okay. I think I don't listen.

You know what's crazy? I don't even. Okay, this is going to be a real bad take. Girl, I don't listen to women talk. I can't stand women. You started out talking about us. I know this is crazy, but I like listening to you two. That's insane.

It is insane. I can't believe it. That was equivalent to, I don't really like dark-skinned girls, but y'all are pretty for dark-skinned. It's not. I'm a woman with a duo woman podcast as well. I don't listen to women-led shows. That's crazy. You don't say that in German women's history.

It is women's history. It's over. You know what? You know what? Maybe because, I don't know. I could say the lack of masculinity. I like some masculine takes. Y'all are still very, like, I don't know.

Not that y'all are masculine. Oh, did you just call that voice? Yeah. What's going on? She said it's real raspy in here. Girl, thank you. Have a good day. Have a good night.

Goodbye. Thanks for stopping by. Well, no, you actually date women. So very masculine objective to hear about dating women. Me? Yeah, you date women. Men deal with women. I think I love hearing what it's like dealing with a woman.

Sometimes women don't know what it's like to really deal with us. I get both perspectives here. This is great. Now, you date both men and women. No, no, no, no, no. I date men. I have sex with women. What's better?

Well, no. The difference is I don't date women. I don't become emotionally attached. What's better? Having sex with women. You the motherfucking problem. Yeah, I'm glad you came on today. I had enough to hear with y'all hoes.

You know what's crazy? This is the problem. Y'all, who's your lesbians, don't really like lesbians. I never said I didn't like. Well, they don't like bisexual women. It's very difficult. So that is all bread for you. You do hate the B.

You hate the B and the LGBT. I never said I hated the B. I just, I think that it's too much toxicity going on when bisexual women use lesbians physically. You're using them. This is a two-way street.

We both. We can sit right in and come together. And when women date men, they're also consenting to being used. There's that. And they do. That's crazy for them. And Zoom. And did. Sydney,

how many of them also do that? I had none, baby. She's there. Oh, you coming out. Just want to. I just want to. So you like hooking up with women. What kind of women do you like to sleep with?

Oh, it depends on my mood that day. Like what do you look at? I mean, I end up like sleeping. Like I've had sex with quite a bit of my friends. That girl, all of this. See, this is why I can't even take you seriously. That is crazy. Because where are the boundaries?

What do you mean? Where's the boundaries? I'm having sex with someone I love and trust. Is that not what we're told we should have sex with? Absolutely not. No? We should not be able to trust them, and we should hate them. No.

Hey, I trust you with my information, my heart. I'm not trusting you with my coochie. No, you're not right. If you got my information, you should be able to get a little crumb of cooch. What? Marie, surprise, surprise. Listen to my most straightest friend. If I trust you with my information, you should be getting a little coochie.

Marie, that's crazy. How is that crazy? Marie, so you had a friend lick some of the cooch? They're all friends. friendship huh yeah that's what friends are for that is hilarious you know what every time i get on this this little mic here i think i know this hoe i don't know you and see this is what i love the person she was last week is not the person she is today thank you i never know what i'm gonna get listening to y'all but that's what being an adult is about

and also a woman like that's the cool thing about being a grown-ass woman is you we're like to change our minds yeah and i do and reinvent and do and we we're coming into a new season spring has sprung it has who you were in the winter should not be who you are in the spring facts yeah that sounds like someone who's very toxic i am actually not switching up you know what's crazy no i communicate my thoughts needs and desires to all of my partners how many partners is it well no right now it's just when i have a boyfriend however we are also here y'all just gonna drag me forward we are ethically non-monogamous so i did hit him the other day like i really want to eat some pussy and i was like i couldn't remember what i put that in a text

wait wait ethically non-monogamous yes why are you saying like that you don't know what that sentence means hey hold on now see this is when y'all complicated with all these terms and titles and bullshit. She's talking about the ethically non-monogamous. Ethically non-monogamous. LGBTQI plus E. This sounds like an app. It sounds like you started

something up. It's right between Klarna and Raya. Klarna and Raya. No, so like I'm aware that I like men and women. A lot of times you deem a person to be

a cheater if they go and have sex with someone. Well, I want some pussy sometimes. So I hit him up the other night. I was out at the Blue Martini. And the martinis was martini-ing. I said, dang, I kind of want to eat some cooch. So I text him and was like, hey, babe, I'm kind of in the mood. And I know I think we talked.

Did I have to tell you before or do you want to know after? Because this is what I want to do tonight. And he was like, yeah, babe, it's cool. And then I told him the next day how it was. Now, was you with a friend at the Blue Martini? It was. He thought I picked somebody up from the Blue Martini. And then I was like, yeah, no, it was my homegirl that I was with.

all the girls that you be posting on not all of them not all of them oh okay not all oh okay well Mandy I got some

some notes cause you ain't never asked to eat mine let's talk about it if you doing it for friends you know it's crazy I thought we were friends you know it's crazy it's giving colleague

it's giving co-worker we've only hung out it's giving HR and I don't like it I mean I respect it y'all wanna know the crazy thing is so I've supported y'all I've showed up to the

to the live shows to the comedy shows yeah we've hung out one time realistically no no no the three of us three of us you and i have hung out no we have we have but you're straight as fuck yeah i'm not here to turn nobody out mandy be like let's take picklebacks i'll be like she trying to eat my coochie tonight so when it comes to you we haven't really hung out outside of the dinner with the three of us hold on and then we just went that was morning we was drinking coffee bitch so outside of that let's be very clear if I wanted

to really pursue you my pussy would have been dried up because you were an hour late to dinner so oh my god

get out get out get your shit get your shit and get out imagine as a heterosexual woman if a man showed up

an hour late you know you're not giving him no pussy a man show up if a man is not there when I get there I don't even want to be there what are we talking about

but I'm a woman you're supposed to be a feminist I should be able to do things that men say Get the fuck out of here. See, that's why I don't date women, because they got this mindset. I don't like you. I don't like you, and I used to love you.

That is crazy. I can't believe it. What I'm just saying, I wouldn't want to give, like, eat or suck anybody who showed up an hour late to our dinner date. So how you feeling about Marie, then? What you mean? Marie is a straight woman. She don't feel nothing about me.

And you know what? I love that dress. You know what's crazy? I really be, I be telling her she not straight. but every time we talk the conversations have become more straight this is a straight ass

I'm telling you the most straight person I know sorry not even her teeth you know what's crooked my spine okay she got that

girl I got sciatica so we out there what's sciatica girl these hips girl they don't really open like they're supposed to that's a lie all the work that you be doing

when you be at the blue martini they be closed I gotta walk more I gotta whine I'm going to carnival next month in Malta and I'm like I gotta learn how to

Windy's hips more. You stay on tour. We're not doing that. It's not a tour. It's a little vacation. No, no, no, no. You stay on tour with work, and you stay on tour traveling. I love traveling.

That's why I don't want kids. Like, I want to be able to just wake up one morning and be like, South Africa? Why not? Let me go. Let me look up these flights. That's how I feel about pets. But you have a cat. I have a cat.

Yeah, they're the coolest house. He's a latchkey kid. I feel like he takes care of himself. He knows how to get the food. He walks himself. He knows what's up. Well, they have a litter box. They don't need walking.

and they clean themselves don't gotta bathe them every you know and he eats when he's hungry and it's out i have a little penis listening yeah keep going you're gonna build a case against you you know what's crazy about that when we be at the house alone look at me me and my cat when we be alone he just be sleeping so i'm like oh that's all you do when i'm gone back oh you definitely don't need to have no kids because if you have a sleepy ass kid you're like oh i guess i could go out for about two days there was a girl there was your mom did that my mom left me home she went and played, pulled down the block at Roxy's. But how old were you?

Me and my sister took care of it. By 6, 7, we was being left home alone. I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sorry. You had a rough childhood. Did you? Did you come out just fine? We have notes.

That is wild. What's your mama name? I'm a call. Don't come for Miss Tammy. Her name is Tammy. Tammy is a Florida mom name. I know she wears some sick leggings Tammy is the name of a woman who has biracial children

she got a poop bang it's low in the back she has the cut everything that you would think a white woman with black kids look like that's my mama she got slim jims at the bottom of her purse don't do that

Andrew she drink dark liquor straight she a rum and coke girl Rum and Coke? Listen, she love a little spice rum. Come on, Captain Morgan. Oh, my God. She love a rum and Coke.

That's her drink. Yo, Tammy. Hey, Miss Tammy. Oh, you would love Miss Tammy. Does she wear a wedge sneaker? No. She wears a sketchy one. Her going out shoes is a wedge sandal.

For sure. For sure. I hate y'all. Quartz. Quartz. Hey, Tammy. Love ya. Like you like a friend.

so after that was the craziest drag that you've done for me um i guess we have to move forward in this podcast what is your mess besides coming for me oh what is my mess um i guess i can talk about the age difference with me and my partner so my mess is i just my last relationship he was 17 years older than me but i have now gone the share dreya route and my well not really that big of a difference i'm not that old but my partner is eight years younger than me that's not bad talk to this fetus about don't do that see this is what i'll be talking about let's go back you know what's crazy about you saying that i did have like a moment he's never seen matilda save the last dance or titanic he didn't even know what matilda was save the last dance and

then he had the nerve to ask me because i'm going to see othello because hello jake gyllenhaal denzel gotta go see my favorite white and my favorite black so is jake gyllenhaal your favorite white my favorite white of all the whites oh my god that's your favorite it's him and gerard butler those are like my gerard but don't do that girl don't do that you know why because i really like that movie with him and Jamie Foxx? Oh, a little bit.

Law Abided Citizen? No, not a little bit. He had Tammy on the phone. Because I have some eyes. That can't be my favorite white. Tammy got more. Jay Gyllenhaal,

I used to think, oh my God, I actually also used to have a crush on him. So my other, That's your real mess. No, my real favorite white

isn't really white, is Jason Momoa. But I want to do some things for him. He's not a great actor. He's Samoan. He's Samoan. So he's a other.

So you got to take that back. He's not even on the list. But he works, he would wear sandals to like a wedding you know so that is kind of weird yeah he gives white-ish

it's Moana though you know there we go but yeah so I'm like I said when I go see Othello I need to be close enough to see the spit

coming out of their mouths because I love these two men dearly you know what's crazy is you would think here's the here's the tea y'all if you are in New York or even visiting

so it's on Broadway till June but I went to the box office I am in the second or third row row BB 499 flat 499

on StubHub $8.96 same exact row $4.99 you went Club Renaissance don't do that girl and I wasn't spending that

on Beyonce sorry but you spent it on Jake and Denzel and Wood Denzel she's really spending it on Denzel

she's not as excited about Denzel she's talking about Jake Gyllenhaal I love Jake Gyllenhaal oh my god list five movies that Jake has been in

oh my god he did the one with the call thing he did another one I don't even know what title if you ask me to do the same for Denzel

I got Training Day I got The Book of Eli I got Something with the Fire Man on Fire oh he just did the movie where he showed up

in Rome as a nigga from Brooklyn Gladiator he didn't even try he was chewing gum and he had one ear in this is this is how I know

my bias for Dizell man you need help get help no everybody else was Roman and he was a nigga from Brooklyn

I'm a Roswell nigga I'm coming in this shit Mount Vernon that shit you know what's crazy that's how I knew bias existed all of it

yeah cause I was like one of the best films ever ever I hated Denzel in that movie he did have a chain on but I was like

this is great I think he was wearing I think he was wearing Air Force One it really pissed me off me and my home girls was like what is we doing

but no one's crazy and so I bring up this because I'm like oh my god I can't wait to go see Othello and my boyfriend's like you're familiar with Othello you got an accent

he's British You should have started with that All you had to say he was British I would have been on board Because now technically even though he's 26 Because he's British he's technically 32 They age They're mature

Non-Americans do age And mature fast Way quicker than Americans Oh beautiful he has such a beautiful smile So anyways me and him were talking And I was like do I know Othello Nigga yeah But Mekhi Pfeiffer, Julia Stiles, you never saw O?

And I was like, that's one of my favorite movies growing up. And he's like, nah, never watched it. So there's an urban basketball version of Othello. I've never seen O. I have. You've never seen O? I have, no. This is when Julia Stiles was in her bag.

She was in her black people bag. And then it was right around the time of Save the Last Dance. But I will tell you, not everybody has watched O. So that was a deep cut. That's not fair. That's not fair. I know the classics. Okay, you do.

You could have named me one title of a Jake Gyllenhaal movie that he's been in, but Denzel, I think. We don't know that. We don't know her. The Call. I love that white man. Andy, you're sick. You're sick. I like that white man, and I'm excited to see him.

He was in that movie where he was a stress reporter. What? I don't remember the name. Me neither. I feel bad. I don't know if Jake listens to the pod, but I can't name one. Jake, I love you down. You my favorite white.

I can't wait to see the spit come out your mouth. Oh, my God. Dead end. Hold on. I want to show you my boyfriend's straight teeth. Oh, wait. Hold on. Don't slide too far.

Oh, he got freckles? Yeah, don't do that. Okay. Sharing a lot. Sharing details. You know, I'm trying to keep it. He looks young. Don't do that.

He does. Next to you, he's definitely giving you. Wow, next to me? No, no, no. No, no, wait. I did hear next to you, he looks young. No, stop. She came to drag me.

I didn't drag. Bitch, obviously, I started off talking, you look amazing. Yeah. I said, you look phenomenal. I love your neck. You're doing great things. I love your neck. That means two things.

No, she ain't got my neck yet. No, I don't know. She ain't got my neck yet. I'm too late. I'm late in a dollar short or whatever to get some head. Whatever. Anyways. Yeah.

I'm just saying because you give, like, you know, like, you take care of yourself. Thank you. Obviously, you're not a spring chicken, but you're very, you're youthful. But next to him, he looks like very bare. Very bare. It's crazy. It's crazy. That's what.

Yeah. And so we have that conversation and I get how it could be offensive. like I like a well no for him I like a scruffy look and I said I said oh babe like keep this hair it makes you look older and he hated me saying that which I get because he was like well babe you wouldn't like if I told you like I like how you did something because it made you look younger especially as someone who's older than me I was like okay you got me well well maybe older is the wrong word yeah just like oh you look real like I don't know how let me tell you he just did the cutest thing yesterday and i it made me think of you because you came in with your sephora bag

and he hit me yesterday he was like babe i tried to call you when i was recording yesterday and i was like what happened he was like i went to uh sephora and spent like you know 200 on this skincare stuff and he was like your number it didn't show up i was trying to get you the points for your sephora thing he was like your number didn't work and then i tried your email and i said oh babe it's my old number that's it it's the 646 number that you never knew so you don't He literally went to Sephora thinking about getting me the points for his purchase. You didn't have it linked to your truck, man. Mandy said, my man is not buying me anything at Sephora, but he was going to give me his points, though.

He was going to give me his points, though. Don't do that. No, no, no, baby. Don't tell her not to do that. Tell him not to do that. No. First off, long distance relationship. He's in L.A.

I'm in Atlanta. I'm sorry to hear that. Don't. Listen. Hey, sorry. I'm not just up and leaving my nest to go move with somebody. Oh, don't you dare. Let's talk about it.

You wearing red nails because you came here for violence. No, these red nails, I heard wife color nails. I've never seen a married person with red nails. Also, girl, you are not a wife. I am Confucian. Girl, you are a full girlfriend with these bright red nails. stiletto puffs

in the club who ever thought listen well it's giving wife to me as someone who doesn't even care to be a wife okay let me be great

I never heard a wife call up her husband was like y'all want some some sushi tonight what's up men love red nails oh I dated a guy

who did not like red nails really yeah why you do know me this looks like wife nails I hate clear ass nails nude

nude Mandy we are gonna to box after this spot. We can't box on air because that's like against iHeart or whatever, but when we go outside, be ready.

HR. HR. iHeart hearts violence. So y'all can fight here. Guard. We're going to put it on the Patreon. Guard.

Guard. Guard. So wait, you do want to get married? No. You know what? Yeah. Marie, talk to your friend.

Talk to her. I'm done. You got white nails. I'll get the ring. Okay. I'll go through a ceremony. I'll do the honeymoon. I don't want it on paper.

But that's all the stuff. I'm not bringing a gift. I'm just letting you know. Get the fuck out of here. You don't want it on paper because you don't want to lose your assets? Yeah, because then when we break up, it's expensive. Not when we break up. We're not going to do this.

Stop acting like we do not see the divorce rate and what's happening in this world and in society and in life. So why even get married then? That's why I'm not. But you just want the ring and the party. you could call me your wife you my husband we could both wear rings in matrimony

but like I said toxic when it come to 415 we are filing separately I don't even know what 415 is yeah we you don't pay your taxes

haven't done it yet that's why you don't know about 415 that's a deadline bitch you got a couple weeks you have to stop my taxes were due like last Monday oh okay oh my god

I'm like what's that I thought that was a form that is I said Sydney you don't fill that form for 50 are we

that is the filing deadline but y'all gotta get your taxes turned in before they start I can't wait to get me a little sorry I used to be in the H&R block

bitch stop worrying about my taxes just worry about you being confused I used to work at H&R block I used to work at EY I was in the tax department I was an accountant

sorry I'm here for all specifically entrepreneurs to please fire your taxes I don't know what it is. Maybe y'all feel like they're coming for you. I have probably five plus friends right now that are three plus years in back taxes. Can you tell us how much?

Two of them are in six figures, owing over $100,000. What? What are they going to do? What are they going to do? Move. They're going to Thailand. White Lotus. I'm not playing with you.

White Lotus. When are the dates? Listen, you can set up a payment plan. I don't want to do that. Trump just fired like 500 IRS employees. I think I'm okay. Oh, yeah. Now, Trump didn't move the DOE to the DOJ or something.

I don't know. He just did something where now the people that's above the SBA are in charge of our student loans. So, I'm like really confused. I'm definitely not paying those either. I was like, I thought it was Sallie Mae. Now, it's John. I'm not owing John. I thought it was Sallie Mae.

Sallie. Sallie. And if it ain't Sally, nobody getting their money. And Sally wasn't getting her money. Wait, so wait, did Sally transition? Sally is now. I don't know. They laid Sally off.

No way, Sally. They said Trump coming in changing everything. They said, it's DEI. Should I call Sally and be like, how you doing, girl? No, listen. No. I know I was ducking you, but it seemed like you hard up. You want some time?

Hey, Sally, man, are you good? You're good. Sally, man, if you want to be on Mess, come on down. Come on down. We'll take you in, girl. So why is it messy that you date people who are not the same age as you? Oh, my God. It's just what I hear, like, the response from my friends.

I think every time we go on the Internet, there's this conversation. Of course, we're not talking about the PDFs, but there's a conversation. It's two consenting adults. What happens when there's an age gap? And so I've dealt with that with my friends, of course. Yes, I do get the, oh, he's British. So then there's a little acceptance there. But then even like you, like, I think, and I've dated people with a bigger age gap than that.

They're like, what do y'all talk about? And maybe I'm childish. I don't know, but I've been having shit. Well, we know y'all ain't talking about Titanic. You know what's crazy about it, though? I'm not dating the YNs. Them niggas care me. Now, what?

I don't like how they talk, how they dress. A YN is like 24 and down? 26 and down? You know what's crazy? When I was 33, I was talking to a 22-year-old. What? So you can't say that you don't think that. Mandy, I'm sorry.

You were talking to a 22-year-old? Girl, Jaden Smith? Hey. No. What was he doing? He had on a Batman costume. No, he had on a jersey, bitch. he was a millionaire

with a it was very tall Kai Sinat oh you said tall very tall very tall definitely not Kai 22

Wendy how do you feel that is crazy how do I feel yeah you made me feel real good actually damn while you asked me

I'll make you feel good I was like I said dang I can't take all this now hold on now hold on now oh my god but you took it

which I was doing Toys R Us I'm a big kid now you know what's crazy he texted all his R's backwards did he say W-I-A

W-I-D what is that oh W-I-D that's old people do that everybody do that it's when you get them what's the other stuff they doing now

everything is like T-F A-F I know that's the fuck ass fuck right yeah but everything is like R-N like everything is like

letters yeah I need full sentences yeah I think the the Y-N say my little my little shit my little shit that is disgusting

I don't even like that first off that is nasty that's nasty and now you're calling me a turd what are we doing my little shit my yeah yeah

my yeah yeah I like the yeah yeah no that's very funny my little yeah yeah my little yeah yeah that's you know what I mean

you know because here's the thing women now I'm gonna sit here and shame women be wanting titles so niggas was like

fuck can't be girlfriend let me give her something else so she can be satisfied so I'm gonna say little shit no yeah yeah little yeah yeah

is the little shit I'm not okay yeah okay yeah yeah Now, I just want to know this. I don't want to know what y'all talked about, but how did y'all communicate? Was it text? Was it FaceTime?

You're talking about the young guy? The 22-year-old. Yeah. Yeah, we text. How did you meet him? Oh, now she got a call. Now she got a call. You know what's crazy?

The same way I meet most people, if it's not in person, Instagram. In the DMs. Your DMs are lit. It go down in the DMs. Well, your photos are very, like, you give a, it's very range. It's like, you know, you being a business suit, it will give, like, real estate. Then it's you and your podcast. Then it's you on a boat, in a thong.

It's you at the All-Star game. I believe in shooting my shot, and I do that by liking a ton of pictures. And hopefully, if they like what they see, that's good. You do it. You're the initiator. That's how I met my boy for now. I went and liked all his pictures because he didn't have a lot, and he slid in my DMs. So you the originator of Bumble?

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Let the, let the, hold on. Because there's a lot of people listening right now that are like, because when you said, oh, not them turning the lights off. Are we still recording? Whoa. That was aggressive. I hate light.

Here we go. Wait a second. Are y'all women that believe y'all have to be approached, chased? No, no, no. This is the question. This is the question. We're talking about you. I wanted to, I wanted to make an announcement to the people listening.

Because when you said that you meet people through your DMs, I was about to say, my DMs is dry as hell. I'm also not on Instagram liking lots of stuff. So look at mine. I just post my stuff and I leave. No, I throw a smoke signal. I'm interested. If you like over three pictures, that person is interested at least in your looks. Damn.

That has happened to me. And I just was like, oh, they just found me. Not they throw back 12 weeks. I was like, oh, they like my stuff. Oh, you're a fan of the work? They like you. Yeah. They like you.

Yeah. No. You. I've missed a lot of the signals. You maybe missed it because when you went to their page, not attracted. If they were attractive and they liked all your pictures, I think you would respond differently. So how many pictures is ideal for you to get somebody's attention, you think? I would say three is a little shy.

I would say at least six. Six. Damn. That's two rows. On Instagram, two rows Or you just scroll back and like six I ain't gonna hold you Sometimes I'll be like, I'll like them

Like I'll like a lot of pictures And if I don't get no hits back I might give it a couple days because maybe he wasn't on his phone And a lot came in, I'll double back You'll like six more Mandy said not today Not tomorrow You takes it back?

Oh you shitey bitch I'll be like, hi You see me? You're not on the Wi-Fi, are you? Like, like, like, like, like, like. Girl. I mean, back in the day, I was a little bit more bold and used to send a little gif with the girls shooting the basket.

Like, I'm shooting my shot in your DM. I've done that, too. I love that. Mindy, if you're listening to this and you're single and you hate the dating apps, jump back on Mr. Graham. Oh, let's be very clear. Not only that. In person, men and women, I send drinks from across the room.

Hey, I'll tell my waiter, whatever they're drinking, send another one. So you're giving, like, Richard Gere. Yeah, I like that. I put it out there. I'm going after what I want the hell that's great you learned this from Tammy

no when y'all you apply for a job you want right the same as for when you dating if you see someone from across the room that you want

why am I just gonna see a job never came knocking at your door hey that's not true I mean all my jobs knock knock knocking on

maybe like a nine to five a nine to five isn't just gonna be like out of the blue hey sending a drink to somebody is very James Bond.

Okay? I love it. That's classy. That's how I got money and the checking and the savings energy. Yeah, but if a man... Oh, in the South, it's easy.

In New York, I get it. It's a little tough. It's like $26? It's $20. It's high. Bitch, in the South, $7, bitch. Send that whole table of drinks over there.

If a man sends me a drink, I think it's a setup. If a woman sends me a drink, it also feels like a setup. Why? It just feels catchy. I want... Let me get my own drink.

No. Send me a drink. No. Oh, no. Don't send me. No, no, no. Come to me, but let me get you a drink. Don't just be some weird, mysterious person sending me a drink.

I prefer the mysteriousness of it. The waiter comes over, and I'm like, I didn't order that. And they go, there's somebody over there. That gentleman. That lady. That gremlin. Eye contact. Sent you a drink.

What's up? You guys never been roofied before. That's what it is. Girl, if the server is bringing it. If the server is bringing it to you. It's not the man. Sometimes they're in cahoots. Oh, girl.

It has happened. What do you mean? You watch Law & Order SVU? How dare you? That's too much Lifetime movie channel. No, it's true. It's happened. I've been roofied before.

Okay. Because somebody sent you a drink or somebody put it in a drink that you had at the bar? T is, I think I put my drink down and I picked up somebody else's. That's what I really feel like.

So you roofied yourself? Now she's like, I can get my own drink. Obviously you can. You picking up other people's drinks. Cooties. Are you picking up what I'm putting down?

You're not picking up what you're putting down. I love shooing my shot, though. It's fun. And I mean, maybe because I'm someone who's learned to accept rejection. I love saying no and that I'm not interested in people. So if someone's not interested in me, I don't take it personal. On to the next.

okay let's say you take 10 shots oh you shoot 10 shots you send 10 drinks you slide in 10 dms you tap six people's 10 whatever how often how many times out of 10 do you feel like i'm a good b plus at least eight now does it go anywhere no but do i often exchange at least numbers where we continue talking does it get anywhere after sometimes no but right now i have a relationship um also my ex was the same i met him on zoom zoom during the pandemic wait so okay i'm sorry you met him on i met him on zoom how and what's crazy is i i flirted with him first i was like because i like tall men and he had a big i said your head met your body like how tall you is over there because he could have been a little part is over there write that down write that down hold

on can you tell us how the zoom started well no so y'all know during the pandemic everyone could record virtually yes so at the time a lot of people tried to start podcasts okay we have a mutual friend so the mutual friend was having me on as a guest and when we got on zoom i was like oh at first i tried to do it incognito i was like so um can i get your social media tags so i can be sure to you know tag you and any of the posts that we have i was gonna slide in the dms there he didn't have social media because he was you said he's 17 years older than you he A man of a particular age. He's a man of a particular age.

You can get him on his WhatsApp for sure. He got that. And did. You got to hit him on AOL.com. And did. But yeah. The hot male. So then, you know, I shot my shot over the Zoom.

I be shooting my shot. You started a private chat with him? I was in the side chat. And then we stayed on after the recording and held a conversation. He must have been the host. Well, also, no, like, yo, shut up. You must be paying for Zoom because you know you only get 49 minutes. And they shut it down.

who does that you have to pay for Zoom yeah I'm a business woman I pay for Zoom I'm just gonna make sure hey some people hey there have been

many a Zooms where we had to restart it because I ain't paying y'all got the $49 y'all better stop that it has happened to me many a day we even do town halls

for our for our for the podcast every once a month we have over 100 people in there and we had to pay for it to allow over 100 people

to be on it okay well let me hold your Zoom you write that off on your taxes for $4.15 No, listen, I'm not playing with you. Send me the link.

What's up? What's the messiest thing about dating somebody who you have a big age gap with? I would say, I mean, the way goals align. So, like, right now, and we've had the conversation, he, like, I am pretty set that I don't want kids. He is a kid. You have a child. Shut up. But what I'm saying is, I'm 34.

In four years, I'll be 38. I feel like I'll be still kind of set where I'm at right now based on what I've been able to accomplish financially. All the things I do professionally, like professional things will excel. But I'm kind of set where I'm at right now. Have you frozen your eggs, though? I don't want kids. You don't want none. At all.

You should throw them away. Baby, listen, my friends need eggs. I said, you want mine? Apparently, I'm a little cranky. No, thank you, mama. I'm so sorry. The way you be shooting your shot, I think not. They said, I don't want children that are as good.

Your eggs are for the streets. And then for him, he does, but not for some years down the line. But between 26 and 30, he's going to change so much over that time. So to me, it's the conversation of there's going to be a lot of things that you want now that are going to change by the time you're 30. For me, it's not really the same. So it's really trying to align goals and be realistic about where we adhere together. like again difference with my ex that i just dated he was retired when we were dating for me professional at 29 30 where i was at i was like oh i have so much more things i need to do and

he was kind of like i did all the work i need to do i'm retired i'm good so like did you hit him with a theragum what's that see you hit his back with the massage gun you know it's crazy he did that for me. Cindy was right. He did have one. He definitely had one. Well, a man of that age, he should.

He was already retired. Yes. It was money and got out. Yeah, it was a different like type of relationship than now where I'm with someone who is public, who's an entrepreneur,

who's an entertainer. Like, so we just have so much more in common, even though we're in different industries. Question, that older guy, did he give you allowance with his social security number?

Hell no, I made more money than him. You said his social security number? With his social security money, they get you after you retire. I let him keep all his coins I made more money than him

damn that's hot damn man you making money you still don't want to eat my coochie alright nevermind god damn what else is the crazy thing about you too though for as long as I've known you baby you stay in a relationship this is true

even since the first time I met you you are a relationship as girly cause I can't be in the shoes cause I make really bad decisions Marie has been there for the moments that I have been out and she's like this ain't for you baby why would you say that

why would you do that why are we going there why are we pulling up I'll pull up with Cindy I'll be like yeah what you wearing and you exist better as a single woman I like being single I like being single too

I mean the person I'm with now doesn't agree with that okay you know like he's all about you know even today we're walking down the street and he's trying to hold my hand and every time he tries to hold my hand i'm like why i think pda is a thing yeah i'm an arm linker you can look at so confused every time you don't hold arms i mean you don't hold hands um me and my partner now like we like we're shocked at how much like pda you kind of have um you know it's it's cute forehead kisses i don't believe in people making out in public and doing all that extra shit.

Like, bro, go get a room. Literally get a room. We are not in high school. Like, literally, we are adults. Be outside. I think in high school, you make out because you got to go back

to your parents' house. As adults, save that tongue and each other down for behind closed doors. I want to see how they're both really, really drunk. In which case,

do a thing. You're excused. Right. So you don't, so when you're having these martinis and you're out at the club, you're not making out

at the club? Oh, if I'm ready, if I'm hot and bothered like that baby we going we going home we leaving what we staying out here

with all these strangers for let me put something in my mouth ooh am I drooling yeah ooh yes

girl shut up Mandy that's how you started at 17 years older than you man I know you had this blood pressure I know

very much so very much so let me go home and put something ooh even like dating someone from from Europe

I European women don't speak like we do here in America God, that's not true. No. No. I think the sexual liberation and the way that we're able to present ourselves way more

liberally, like, they're a lot more conservative in Europe than we are. I don't think so. I was seeing them on TikTok and stuff, and they're like, go do it some cock. See, maybe I don't understand them. Some pork. Pork in it. I hate it. Pork in it.

Hate it. I hate it. Obviously, I'm unserious with that. Okay, well, I mean, are you teaching him a lot of things? Has he taught you anything? Yeah, I told him we got to watch Matilda. A children's movie. I love it.

Matilda's the one with the little yellow hat. In the cartoon version. In the cartoon. But Matilda is the one with Principal Charchable and the chocolate cake. Oh, the little black girl with the twist. Yes. Yes. Somebody commented on a post of mine recently.

They said she looked like the little black girl from Matilda. Wait, calling you that? I said, huh? Wait. I'm going to have to go back and rewatch. what are y'all watching Matilda in terms of like

learning from each other I think how we show like professionally we both like feed and support into each other that way but I don't know

like right now we're learning each other still in the bedroom so I don't know what I'm going to teach him in the bedroom yet I'm sure I got a lot to teach him

but right now like we're still just learning each other and existing and being really happy around each other like I'm really excited we about to do

a day at Universal Studios you don't want to grow up that's right Universal Studios is for adults too We are not Disney is for the children Universal is for the adults Y'all don't

I'm going to do Universal Studios In Tokyo That's going to be fun When are you going to be in Tokyo? I haven't bought that flight yet This year I'm doing Malta, South of France, Macau And Abu Dhabi I was going to do Abu Dhabi all the time

I do that every year for my birthday And this year I'm also doing Macau So I'm going to do Macau. I don't even know where Macau is. It's the Vegas of China. China. Vegas of China. You got to say it like that.

No, sorry. You got to say it like that because you're mad. China. We're not going to do that. Well, you did that. I mean, I like how you say it. You do say it really funny. You do say it funny.

My only thing is when you date somebody that young or much younger, I'm thinking about talking to them and just like learning like mentally, spiritually. like I was I was hooking up with somebody who's 10 years younger than me and

you know we were talking about the current state of affairs and I was like so what you think he's like listen with everything

that's going on all I could do is look fly that's it I said what but did he lie I'm not mad at that but also wait

did you ask that question while y'all was butt naked in the bed laying next to each other after you just slurped them off like was it post

post I'm not saying anything of the specifics but it was after all of that it was the next day yeah and i was just you know reading current events he said this current events yeah coffee yeah there was no coffee there's no coffee well yeah he was younger maybe orange juice no none of that i didn't get none of that nope just a thin just a thin bed sheet that's it and you were like you were like do you care about what's going on in the world and he said yeah not really so all i could do It was a little fly, baby.

You know, life is hard. I don't like to wake up and feel like I need the weight of the world on my shoulders either. Now, as long as I can pick my outfit out for the day, life is good. Because I got to pick the outfit. You know what? I could see my outfit and I could hear the podcast while I'm picking it out. I could see, I could hear, I could walk, I could breathe. That's all that matters.

I agree with that, too. But, you know, sometimes it's just like, I do like somebody emotionally, mentally sound. And sometimes it takes a while to get there until you get older. You know what's crazy? We haven't had that conversation. But when he was in Europe for the holidays, he put his dad on the phone. And me and his dad had a great conversation about politics and age. No, we're not.

Thank you, Marie. You and his dad are peers. No, we're not. His dad is older, okay? How older? You probably know the guy that you look up with. He has me by at least 15, 20 years. So I'm closer to my boyfriend than I am his dad's age, which is not the case.

But oh, my God. I was in L.A. one time at the highlight room and I saw this man. I was like, damn, he look he look good. I was like, he looks kind of familiar. And bitch, I fucked his daddy. And I was like, oh, it's time to go. How do you know you fucked his dad? Because you talk.

There's a name. No, he's somebody. He's a junior. He's a junior. Oh, Ice Cube and Ice Cube Junior. It's not. When you left, you should have tapped him and said, tell your daddy I said hi. Yeah.

That's what I said. No, no, no. Like being 34 and reaching the age where I could, it makes sense to have been, and legally sleep with both the dad and the son. Girl, you don't have to say legally. We already knew. Yeah. Nasty.

What in the morning? Nasty. What in the cherry spring? It was, you know, but I was like, wow, I'm getting up there. Girl, you and Lori Harvey. Don't do that. Wait, in what way? She banged Diddy and the son.

Oh, my God. Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. Hello, hi. We know nothing. I wonder if she is sending in a character letter. You know she'd have.

Steve said, don't you do that. Girl, let's read a message and then let you get out of here. Because we know you got to go put your boyfriend to bed soon. That's wild. Is it? Listen, I do put him to bed. put that thing that red snap on him

why is it red I'm red and it's a snapper that thing be snapping don't do that I'm yellow right now because we just left the winter girl your nails are red

don't call it a red snapper I can call it please don't call it a red snapper I am that is not hot call it a bronzino or something I don't like that either

I love snapper I don't I don't like that either no thank you messages okay is he mess or am I

hey y'all so I've been seeing a man casually for a couple of months um i go to his place once a week he'll order food we might have a couple of drinks have sex go to bed and i'm out the door before the sun even rises good our situationship is very surface level but he is consistent and i enjoy winding down with him after a long week so last sunday i was getting ready for our usual routine this day i have on a drawstring ponytail, which is already a mess.

Girl, that is a mess. 16-inch curly human hair. Okay, human, not synthetic. 16-inch curly human hair. She said not synthetic, okay? That's what she said. It's Milky Way. Okay.

You know it was. 16-inch curly human hair that stays balled up in a drawer for when I'm in between hairstyles. For context, my hair is cut into a bob, and I was going on week three of a silk press.

Where are we going? No, the sis is letting us know. She's the sis. Give us the backstory. Tell us. I'm not mad at you. She's a silk breast bob. Okay.

She's giving us the back story. Okay. Adamant Lee, the ponytail wasn't as secure as it could have been because I didn't want a lot of tension on my hair. Okay. She gets migraines. I sure you know where this is going. Long story short, like our hair, we have our food and drinks and start doing the do.

He has me bent over in front of a mirror and in the midst of him talking me through it, brother gets carried away. He grabbed my ponytail and had the nerve to look shocked when it came off. I had never experienced such a such a fail during sex. But the situation was too funny to feel any shame or embarrassment in the moment. It took me a minute or two to collect myself, but I just threw it to the side and let him get back to work. I thought this was funny enough to share. Much love from Florida. Your people. But what she did share was that it was Gyllenhaal that did it.

Because what black man going to be shocked that a drawstring ponytail comes out? that's all you want to give us all these details since but you ain't let us know you was getting knocked down by the colonizers oh i know you're not talking i know it's a biracial bitch i can talk about both how about that first of all tammy's daughter i could talk about the white and the blacks let me be great girl but yeah no um i don't think it's a mess i think it's happened to all of us at least i've definitely had sex with someone in a whole bun or a ponytail and came out because we got a little carried away. I had a whole braid come out.

You had a braid come out? Because you know sometimes they lean on it and then all of a sudden you know you have that new growth and it just slip out and you're like fuck. And then you pick it up and you're like, is there any hair in there? I literally had to hold for dear life

a half week. Oh, same. While I'm getting ready, because them bobby pins and the clips don't really hold it all the way. But the combs don't really be combing. So I've literally been having sex securing the halfway. Oh, I fully have had sex and been like, whoop. Or I get up and I'm like, whoop.

You see my head there? Too big. Too big. I'm like. Oh, my God. You just got to push your head back down. Yeah, I love that for her. I'm glad that she is casually getting some good peen.

And don't be ashamed. I mean, we're all adults. It's just like stuff happens. Things fall out. Girl, he's seen your silky ass bob. He knows that you look like Edna most days. And that day you just wanted to look, you know, you wanted a little, you know. I want everybody to have common sense when they're in the bedroom.

Like things are not what everything is as it appeared. And if things switch up, just keep going. I thought you were going to go with common sense that weaves come on and off. No, no. They are attached and detached. Yes. Weave are secured. Wigs come off.

Wigs come off. And so do drawstring ponytails. Well, we knew where that was going to go. Wait, I have one more. And I feel like this is appropriate for you because you're here. I thought this title said, my sister keeps choosing Asians, but that's not what it says. Hey y'all, heard you on Decisions Decisions and had to listen. My mess.

My little sister keeps shooting Asian. Ain't shit ass niggas. That's what that is. Okay, there it is. Asian. Because I'm like, Asian? Her previous ex, I had to beat up in their own apartment that didn't have any heat or food in once in the dead of Cleveland winter. because he was putting hands on her

and have her come live with me for a week because he called the police and filed assault charges. Ooh, okay. Her current baby daddy had her in a shootout and missing for a few days before she was pregnant,

cheated on her multiple times, and just had his side bitch, the neighbor down the hall from them, fire a gun at my sister while she was eight months pregnant. Oh, Lord. Oh, and he ain't even show up to his own baby shower.

What in the game? I'm going to beat his ass too when I see him. But why does she keep choosing these Asians? That's how I'm saying it. We were raised in a middle-class black Christian household in the suburbs. You ain't got to live like this. Sincerely, a concerned older brother.

You know what? I want everyone to not be concerned with the love lives that anyone chooses. When a woman's fed up. Sorry. Yes, I did quote R. Kelly. I say a woman will only, a woman will stay with someone until she feels like she deserves better. There's nothing you could say, nothing you could do. And what I've seen literally happen is when the brothers specifically get involved in these type of situations, you could lose your life.

You could get shot at. You could sit here and have to go to court because you done laid hands or got assault charges. It sucks because you want better for them, but you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink it. You can't make it drink. All I was going to say is this is iHeart. We don't have stories like this. You don't have to take that one down to Natalie Nunn Zeus Network. we're a family

we're a family network right here no no because Decisions Decisions is also on our heart you know what

that's right Black Effect this is Black Effect adjacent he said we were raised middle class black Christian

in the suburbs that was so he said he said we learned how to read he said we went to vacation Bible school

you ain't got to do this you ain't got to do this it sounds like a Tyler Perry movie You got to wait for her to meet a light-skinned man who won a blue-collar job, and he is going to bring her back to church. Yeah, with the lace wig braids. With the lace wig braids. With the lace wig that won't come off in the middle of them having sex.

A drawstring with a really bad Drew Hill bandana coming across it. Oh, my God. Tell me what you want, forehead. Yeah! Yeah! Okay, this has been— Wow. What a day.

What a rollercoaster. Whoa. I didn't know we were going to go here. Me neither. From where we started. And you know what, Mandy? When you listen to this episode, if you do, you're going to be like, I like this guest. This might be the only guest I like that y'all had on actually.

You got to listen back and don't think it's you. You got to be like, oh, I wonder who this person is. Oh, yeah. Like, dang, I agree with everything they said. This is wonderful. Play for your boyfriend. What an enjoyable experience. During bath time.

Oh, my. You know what? Not doing it. Love it. No, thank y'all for having me. Y'all make sure y'all check out my podcast. And also, I have a book coming out. Yes.

No Holds Barred, a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power. Available now for pre-order. So help me. Help me. I got the coins out. Help me become a New York Times bestseller. It can happen. We only need 5,000.

Yeah. No, it's 10. I need 10,000. You got 10,000. You got 10,000. You definitely do. I want 10,000. 10,000 before the first week is up.

So book drops June 24th. I ordered mine pre-order. Did you? I did. She told me. She sent it to me. She edited it. I was like, thank you.

Make sure you get that, and then if you want to listen to more of my crazy ass, check me out on my podcast. I'm one half of the Decisions Decisions podcast, and I am the host who is often joined by my crazy wild friends with very opposite takes of me on Selective Ignorance. So y'all check that out.

You see that? That's a professional cycle right there. Always be plugging. Plug, plug, plug. Listen, I got my dick in the closet, but that's a whole other conversation. You know what? We're going to leave it right there. And that's the title of the pod. A dick in a closet?

No, it's not. No, no, no. Our heart will not allow that. The name of the podcast is Christian Black Suburbs Middle Class. And we can read. Yes. Thanks, guys. And make sure you leave reviews on Apple and Spotify.

And look out for a live show when we pick a date. When we pick a date. When we announce it. When we announce it. When we announce it. Don't forget to do your taxes. You might have missed it already. This is probably going to come out after the deadline.

That's fine. Sally Mae, I'll talk to you later, girl. Bye. Bye. Mess with Sidney Washington and Marie Faustin is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast. Created and hosted by Sidney Washington and Marie Faustin. Executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Han Sani. Super produced by Becca Ramos.

Edited and mixed by Brian Jeffries. If you would like your messages read on air, please email us at messthepodcast at gmail.com. or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588.