Michelle Obama: The Light Podcast - Celebrating 60

Episode Date: October 24, 2024

In this very special solo episode, Hoda opens up about life at 60. She celebrates the decade ahead in this love letter to her personal journey. Hoda reflects on her life’s path, overcoming hardship and the lessons she’s learned along the way. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You ever been there when an uncomfortable question about race comes up, but you don't know how to answer? That's where Code Switch lives. Each week, we're talking about race and how it intersects with every other aspect of your life, from politics and pop culture to history and food. Listen now to the Code Switch podcast from NPR. PR. Someone once told me this and it really stuck with me. They said that your life is full of exclamation points. There are high highs and low lows.

The high highs are like, it's a girl. I do. You won the lottery. It's your day. You got the job. And then the lows are tragic sometimes. He's gone. You lost your job. The divorce is coming through. All those things. But what I realized is that most days are not those high highs and they're not those low lows. Most days are just Tuesday. They're just regular, ordinary days. So think about this.

In a year full of days, 365 days, you'll probably have 10 that are either super high or super low. The other days are just regular old days. So if you look at life through that lens as I tried to, the ordinary actually can become extraordinary. It's those quiet moments, the small encounters, and the everyday routines that shape who we are and shape our lives.

And those days, those days are worth celebrating. But today I am leaning into a big moment because my 60th birthday, yes indeed, there will be cake. I think there'll be some balloons. But on my way to celebrating, I'm actually in reflection. I'm honoring what has shaped me, the people who have shared their knowledge and the lessons I've learned along this journey.

And I cannot wait to share my gift of experience with you. So today's episode may look and sound a little different. It's a solo one, it's just me, but I did not get here alone. As I turn 60 and close out season five of my podcast, I am the sum total of everything I've learned from all those around me. I've had the incredible total of everything I've learned from all those around me. I've had the incredible honor of taking wisdom

from other people and applying it to my own life. And today, I wanna take a moment to sit in all that wisdom. So together, let's celebrate this beautiful, complex, and extraordinary life. I'm Hoda Kotb, welcome to a very special episode of my podcast, Making Space. I'm freaking out. Okay. So when I learned that Brooke Shields is turning 60 and Mariska Hargitay and Sandra Bullock and all of these awesome women I feel like this is a club that I am honored to be a part of

Because what do I look when I look at these women? I see vibrancy. I see creativity I see rebirth. I see new life I see all these beautiful things. And I realize that every decade, no matter what you are, is a chance for repotting, rebirth, resurgence. Like, all these things can happen. You get to choose. Like some people when they turn 30 are like, oh my God, I'm 30.

Oh, it's over. All my friends are married. It's like, be real, man oh my God, I'm 30. I would tell her all my friends are married. It's like, be real, man. You're on your own ride. You're on your own train and your blessings are coming when they come. And your blessings might come in your 20s, they might come in your 30s, they might come in your 40s. Mine started, started in my 50s. That's when the best ones came. So I can only imagine that my 60s are going to be filled with all of that goodness. I mean, picture the class photo of Mariska Hargitay

and Brooke Shields and Sandra Bullock and all, Brad Pitt and all, who, I mean, I'm just saying people who we know because they're in the movies, but how about all the other cool women out there who are in this club like it's the coolest and I feel I feel lucky yeah I feel lucky you know it's funny about age and me I think that I wish I knew back in my 40s that anything was possible, because I really didn't, I probably didn't believe it. I sort of believed in my early 50s,

like maybe this is as good as it gets, and maybe I have a great job, and I have a great brother and sister and nieces and that's amazing and lucky me. And I felt that. And then sometimes I think you have to tell yourself that you deserve more. You're worthy of more. You're allowed to ask if you want something more.

I think it's beautiful to be humble and grateful, but I also think it takes something special to say, I actually want that. And to have the power to stand in your own self and say, I deserve something more. Sometimes I think we used to think that good enough was enough. That's good enough. That's good enough. This is good enough. But why? Like if you only get one ride around the sun, why should good enough be enough?

Why not try for something more? And to see how it feels with you. But you have to feel worthy of it. And I think I didn't feel worthy then. So I think I would have told myself back then, you're worthy of more than you believe. You are lovable, and you deserve to have love in your life in all forms. So open yourself up to it and let it come in.

I think that's what I would have told myself. When I was sick with cancer some years ago, I think I realized my life cancer some years ago, I think I realized my life was short and limited and I should ask for what I wanted. In theory, that was what I was telling myself. I did ask for what I wanted professionally, which is how I wound up working

on the fourth hour of the show. It was simply that I had the courage to ask for something because I realized what's the harm? Why not ask? So what if they say no? But I don't know that I was taking risks beyond that. And I think I was looking at lives that I admired. You know, like, I wanted the feeling of holding a baby, my baby, I wanted that feeling.

I didn't know that I would have that. And so I did some work on myself and I think I sort of just confessed to a friend the things that I wanted. And it reminded me, it's like, speak your truth out loud. Even if you just tell your friend, or even if you tell yourself in a whisper, or even if you look in the bathroom mirror and say, I want a baby, just like that. Or I want whatever you want. Say it out loud.

And I do think the universe is funny that way. You speak something out loud, and all of a sudden it starts manifesting in front of you. So I started to feel more worthy of being loved and deserving a family. I think when I first adopted my kid, I remembered saying, I don't know if I deserve them. And I remembered saying it out loud, and it kind of made me shudder inside, like,

am I really saying those words? But I thought that. I wasn't sure if I deserved to have these beautiful kids in my life. And then I started kind of doing some self exploration. And I realized that, you know what? I'm a loving person. And I do deserve them. I do deserve them. And they deserve me. girl Haley Joy. Yes. I adopted her and you can hear that her crying. Haley is she's a Valentine's baby so she's a little nugget.

She's a tiny one. When I got her and she is the love of my life. Oh my God. I think being afraid is one of the worst things we can be. Afraid to ask for the rays, afraid to interrupt, afraid to speak the truth. Fear is a paralyzing thing, and it can stop you from the life that you were intended to live. Like, God has a life planned for you, and you can put the brakes on it yourself. So when I got sick, I remember it so clearly because I was thinking to myself, like, how

do I have breast cancer and why do I need a mastectomy and how did this even happen and is this a mistake and what does this mean? Does this mean, you know, I worried that everyone who had cancer died of cancer and I thought, oh my God, well, I have it now. So is that what that means? And I do remember that even the doctor said to me then, you know, one of the sort of side effects, especially at your age, which was in my 40s, early 40s, is you won't be able to have children.

And I was like, wait, what? So this thing not only put limits on my life, but killed a dream. Didn't kill me right then, but it killed a dream. And I was like, oh my God, like all these things were happening. So when you're at that point, which is pretty low, I remember waking up one morning and saying to myself, it was like a lightning bolt. And it was like, I remember those four words, it was, you can't scare me because the worst had happened. So now what? Now what am I afraid of? And so not being afraid released me. It like made me And I think I realized like asking for what you deserve is something that is something that you should be able to do without worrying about, well, I'm doing this because maybe

I won't live that long. Like we shouldn't have to have that in order to propel us to ask for what we deserve. Like, why do you have to have a terrible diagnosis before you're free? So I think I learned from that moment, like, you don't have to have some horrible catastrophic thing happen in your life for you to take the steering wheel. You can just take it. And so I remember that often when I get afraid because fear comes back,

like it just because we're humans. And so when I get afraid of something or nervous talking to my boss or am I doing the right move here? Am I, you know, should I go down the left road or the right road? You know, what am I going to do? How am I going gonna work it? And I think something else I learned is when you make a big decision in your life,

if you can put your head on the pillow and know just the knowing, it may not be your brain. I'm talking about your spirit and your soul and your emotions. If when you rest, you can close your eyes and know that you're doing the right thing, you've done the right thing. More ahead. Stay with us. You ever been there when an uncomfortable question about race comes up but you don't know how to answer?

That's where Code Switch lives. Each week we're talking about race and how it intersects with every other aspect of your life, from politics and pop culture to history and food. Listen now to the Code Switch podcast from NPR. I feel like I'm in this repotting phase of my life and I just feel it. I feel like my roots need a bigger pot in all kinds of things. I'm physically moving with my kids, which was a big deal for us,

because it's easy not to move, because friends and this and that, you know, why would you? And when I found this spot that I liked, a little town that had all the things that could teach my kids independence, I told my kids, we're repotting. They're like, what? We're moving?

I go, yeah, but we're repotting. They go, oh, what is that? I go, well, it's when you pull yourself up by the roots and you're a little scared, right? They're like, yeah. I go, but then we'll go back into really great soil. We're gonna grow bigger and stronger. That's gonna be the place.

So I feel like it's gonna to be a time of rebirth. And so I think it's embracing that and not seeing it as, oh my God, is everyone going to be okay? We're moving. We're moving. Yay. This is a new adventure. Like life's one big adventure.

So take the road trip, move to the house, try something new. Like that's it. We get one ride around the sun. There's a Jodi Messina song that's about that that I've loved ever since for a long, long time. But it's about that. You get one ride around the sun. What are you going to do with it?

It's like, let's make it a great adventure. Let's not make it counting down days. Let's not make it how much time until X, how long is summer, how long is, just get on the train. And that's what I feel like I'm doing. I feel like I want my kids on this train and they're, they are like, they are, they're on it. They're on it.

I realize, especially in recent weeks, that I'm making space to be a better mother and a better sister and a better friend and a better worker. I have to be a better me because I realized that I was kind of putting my own things on the back burner so that I could rush home and I could do it. And I realized, it's so weird, but just yesterday I came home from work I hopped on the peloton I rode really hard I was drenched I looked at that 40 pound kettlebell that I cannot bear the sight of and I picked it up and I was like I'm doing 16 of these squats I'm doing three sets and then I'm gonna I'm gonna swing

it I'm gonna do 16 of those I saw 15-pounders that I felt like I couldn't pick up because my arms were gonna fall off, and I go, come here. I picked them up. I did the workout. When I was done, I was soaking wet. I took a steamy hot shower, and just then my kids came home from camp.

And when I saw them, I was alive. I was vibrant. I couldn't wait to hear. That contrasted with what a normal day sometimes gets like because you're racing in, you're scrambling, you can't, oh my God, I only have 10 minutes, blah, blah, blah. And I get it. But I'm going to start carving out some time. It doesn't necessarily have to be for an exercise, but for something, prayer, meditation, journaling, the things that matter, because it makes me better.

So when I think I'm sacrificing that to be better with them, I'm not better with them that way. I'm better with them when I'm full. Then I can talk to a friend on the phone and feel nourished and not feel depleted and, you know, harried. It's like, let's start there. And from there, all the things grow. So that's what I'm gonna make space for this year.

And I'm also gonna make space to give my kids room to grow and let them fall down and get up and fall down and get up. And you know, like, you know, when you're doing a puzzle with them and you're like, just turn the piece to the left, it's gonna fit. Instead, I'm like, it's fine, you can do it. I'm like, they're like, it doesn't fit. And I'm like, it fits, it fits.

Like I'm saying that to myself, but I'm trying not to. Like give them room to be exactly who God intended them to be. Like I interviewed somebody once and he said, the kids are a perfect seed. They're planted. All you need to do is do water and sunshine. You don't need to take their branches and twist them and try to maneuver. No,

no water and sunshine. Get out of the way. Let them grow. Let them become. Who are you supposed to be? Oh my God, you're supposed to be a maple tree. You're amazing. You know, don't try to make them into a magnolia. They're not. Like let them be who they're meant to be. So that's my other thing I want to focus on, like taking a step back and watching my kids become themselves. More to come after the break. You ever been there when an uncomfortable question about race comes up but you don't know how to answer?

That's where Code Switch lives. Each week we're talking about race and how it intersects with every other aspect of your life, from politics and pop culture to history and food. Listen now to the Code Switch podcast from NPR. Sixty feels like breathing to me. If you would have asked me years ago, like 60 was going to come, I would have been like, oh my gosh, like that, that would seem like the end. As I stand here with 60 right here with me, I feel energized.

I feel alive. I feel like this decade that is coming up is going to be a home run. Like I feel it in my bones. Like I, you know when you know something to be true? It's like put a lie detector test and let's play because 60 is going to be amazing. Bevy, I feel like you were so ahead on this whole thing. You never ran away from aging.

You never cared. No. Tell me about the greater later part of your life. The greater later part of my life had to be. I needed something to believe in. I had to believe that it would get greater later. And so that became my mantra, my affirmation, my prayer, and my lifestyle.

When Bebe Smith said it gets greater later, I knew that landed so clearly to me because I wouldn't trade my 50s for anything. They would go, do you wish you could go back to your 20s? No, I don't. I don't want to go back to my 30s or my 40s. I will reflect on my 50s throughout my life because that decade was amazing.

But what I know from this, because life's a pattern, that it keeps getting greater. Because why? Because you're more yourself. You're not pretending. You're not trying to do, to be, you know, everything to everybody. You're trying to raise beautiful kids.

You're trying to make life magical. And you're trying to raise beautiful kids, you're trying to make life magical, and you're trying to fill, you know, the other parts of you that need to be filled. So, It Gets Greater Later is my bumper sticker that I stole from Bevy Smith. And I sometimes, I almost always give her credit, except for a few times when I haven't. But when I think about sitting with Jamie Lee Curtis, or sitting and talking to Gail from CBS, or looking at Oprah and thinking, that's what 70 looks like, or one of my dearest nearest and dearest Maria Shriver,

who personifies what 60s look like. 60s, if you look at her, she has spent her 60s checking off boxes, working on women's health, working with the Cleveland Clinic, doing this, doing that, self-care. I'm watching someone who is vibrant, who doesn't want to rest because she has the next thing. So I'm watching 60s personified and it is freaking awesome. I mean, I can't wait. Making Space with Hoda Kotb is produced by Allison Berger

and Alexa Kasebekia. Our associate audio engineer is Juliana Mostorili. Original music by John Estes. Bryson Barnes is our head of audio production. Missy Dunlop Parsons is our executive producer. Libby Leach is the executive vice president of Today and Lifestyle.