Michelle Obama: The Light Podcast - The Borinquen Family that Keeps Lala Anthony Grounded

Episode Date: June 24, 2025

Actress, producer, best selling author, and previous MTV VJ, Lala Anthony talks about her Brooklyn upbringing. She shares how boricua food was a constant in her household, the power of her lively Puerto Rican family, and how a cross country leap landed her right into the world of tv and radio. Plus, she shares her family’s Arroz con Pollo recipe! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I remember last Thanksgiving, the Thanksgiving prior, we were at my mom's house. And I remember the doorbell ringing and like somebody bringing something and my mom had like $20. And I was just like, Ma, what are you doing? And she kind of just brushed me off. And then later my brother made a joke like, you didn't see Mommy get a lady $20 for like the collar greens. I was like, Ma, since when did you start paying people to like bring food? But she was like, I just, that's not my strong point. I just don't want to do it anymore.

Like I found somebody that's amazing. $20, I'm getting a pan of it. But it was just funny because it was like a download transaction. Yeah, no shame. She's supporting the local economy. I was like, it's okay. Hello, hello. Welcome back to your mama's kitchen.

This is a place where we explore how we are shaped as adults by the kitchens that we grew up in as kids. All the stuff that happened there, the laughter, the music on the radio, the important conversations, and of course, the food. I'm Michelle Norris. And I'm so thrilled to welcome Lala Anthony. to the show today. Lala, Anthony. Hello. Hello, I'm going to tell people a little bit about you.

All right. She is a TV personality. She is an actress, producer, and entrepreneur known for her roles in, think like a man. You got served, grownish, power, BMF, and the shy. And that's just a short list because there's so much more. She got her start in radio in Atlanta at Hot 97.5. And she had her big break as a VJ for MTV. in the early aughts. You probably remember her on the MTV shows, TRL and direct effect. And you probably

remember her also from her 2010 reality TV series called Lala's Full Court Wedding. Who could forget that? Thank you so much for being with us. I just want to say one more thing, because on top of all of that, as if that was not enough, Lala is also a New York Times bestselling author. It is so good to see you again. Such a pleasure. Thank you so much. I'm happy to be here today. I'm glad you made time for us. Of course, of course. Now, we always begin with a simple question, and it goes in all kinds of directions, depending on who we asked this question to, so the question for you. Tell me about your mama's kitchen. Use all your powers of observation and storytelling to tell us about the kitchen you grew up in. The lessons you learned, how it looked, how it smelled, what was on the walls. I always remember there being great food.

in the house to eat, which is a blessing in itself. I do remember it kind of being the same thing most days, because my mom would cook like chicken and rice and beans because my mom's, I'm Puerto Rican, my mom's Puerto Rican, my dad is Puerto Rican. So it was kind of like the staple go-to meal, which was like white rice, beans, and chicken. So we had that often, but I remember it being freshly cooked, you know, pretty much every day. We weren't eating like leftovers or anything like that. I love to eat, but it's like, call me when everything's ready. I'll come down and eat, clean my plate, and then go do whatever I was doing. I wasn't a person that was curious about like, how do you make this and recipes? I just like the final, what happens at the end. So I wasn't

that person. And now, you know, sometimes I regret that I didn't pick up, you know, the old recipes or the quick recipes. So I'm learning now. It's funny today. I actually did an experience where we did a cooking class and we were learning to make macaroni and cheese. And it was fun to me. Like, I really enjoyed learning how to cook. You grew up in New York City. Yeah. What part of New York City? Where was the kitchen? I grew up in Brooklyn. I still live in Brooklyn, and then I moved to Atlanta in high school. So between Brooklyn and then Atlanta for high school. So what was that move like? And was the kitchen in Atlanta a lot different than the kitchen in Brooklyn, not just in the composition, but was life different for you as a family down there?

similar still because in Atlanta we moved there because a lot of our family had moved there. So you know how it goes when like one aunt goes and they call like, you guys need to come down here and then the next aunt goes and my mom comes from a big family. Then the brother goes and then the cousins. And the next thing you know, we're all within like a three or four block radius in Atlanta.

So it still felt the same. You still had the love and the family component to everything. What was it like as a barrican family moving to Atlanta? Because if you live in New York, you know, there's a big Puerto Rican community. Right. And you can find, you know, you can basically feel like you're in a village or a town in Puerto Rico, depending on where you are. Of course.

Not so true in Atlanta. So did you bring that culture with you or did you start to sort of create more of a medley culture where you were mixing more with Southern American life when you were in Atlanta? I think in Atlanta for us, we kind of stuck together as a family. So we were just always at each other's houses. So you didn't feel the void of not having. so much of that culture in Atlanta because we had each other. And then, you know, mingling with other people, other backgrounds, other cultures became, you know, like an adventure and something

that was so cool and we enjoyed, you know, doing it. But it didn't feel like, oh, there's no one like us here because it was all the cousins, all the aunts, all the uncles. It almost felt like there's too many of us here right now. So I didn't feel that. And it was, it was exciting to then mingle and understand, like you said, the southern culture, southern food, you know, soul food, comfort food, all of that stuff. It became fun and exciting to just embrace that and learn about that. I read a lot about you to prepare for this interview. And you said your family, you weren't poor. You didn't have a lot of money, but you weren't poor, but you were rich

in important ways. You were rich in love. You were rich in community. Can you talk a little bit about that? Yeah, I mean, my mom has always shared me that she was brought up the same way. was born and raised in the Marcy Projects here in Brooklyn. It's crazy that I now live in Brooklyn and not too far from where my mom, you know, grew up. But she said, you know, even if they didn't have, you didn't really know and you didn't really feel it because it was made up in other ways. And we just are such a close family. And like I said, like you quoted me as saying, you know, feel with love. And Christmas is, even if we got like one small gift apiece, it didn't feel like that because we're all together, opening everything together. You know, you just didn't really feel

it. And I just love and appreciate my family so much for us never really feeling like the hard, hard times and just having each other. And even now, like my son graduated this weekend, I probably had like 20 people staying in my house. And my house is not big enough for 20 people, but it doesn't matter. We had air mattresses in closets. Like, that's just all we know. It's like the thought of like someone even thinking about like getting a hotel or so, like that's a foreign concept to us. It's like air mattresses, someone's on the couch. I literally opened a closet and I'm not exaggerating like my cousin was sleeping in the closet, but comfortably like, yo, I'm good here as long as I got my little corner. That's just how we grew up. And so this weekend was just such a reminder with my

son graduating of just our family bond and our family ties and, you know, something that I just will never take for granted and I just love so much. So what is it like for you, Lala, Because you're a celebrity. You're known as an entrepreneur. You're known as being someone who's always done up, hair done, nails done, everything did. When you go home, do you get to be someone, you're still the same person, but do you get to breathe in a different way when you're in your comfort zone? Absolutely. Home with my family, absolutely.

They would have another way. They're like, I know you're about to pick that blade up. You got to take the trash out. You got to, like, they would just have it no other way, but I just love it because keeps you grounded, keeps you humble, keeps you know, remembering what's important. But that's where I'm the happiest. You know, some people are always talking about, like, you know, alone time and self-care. And I get that that's important. But my self-care has always been my family or my son or doing things with my son. Like, I don't like isolating. I don't really love being away from them. So my self-care is

family time and inviting my family to participate in the things that I have going on and seeing how happy that makes them, that's like self-care to me and happiness to me. There's sometimes when you visit home and you just make a trip home, there's sometimes when you run home. Like you just need to be home. You just run home. Have you had a moment like that and would you be willing to talk about that? Like in your life where you just, I can't, I don't even have a plane ticket, but by 5 p.m. today, I'm going to have a plane ticket because I just have to go home and I have to be with my people. Absolutely can relate to that. I mean, that's happened numerous times. I am.

still living in Brooklyn like I mentioned, but again, most of my family has now moved to Atlanta. So there are times where you feel somewhat alone and you're just like, look, Atlanta's an hour and a half flight. I just need to be around family. I just need to sit on my mom's couch and not even think about anything. And it's not because something was wrong or something happened. You just have that moment where you're like, I don't want to be here by myself right now. I need to hear laughter in the kitchen. I need to hear music. I need to hear this. And I'm grateful that I can. I do have the means to just shoot down to Atlanta for two days. A day. day, three days a week, however long it is, and kind of get recharged and re-energize and then come back

to New York. So I definitely do that from time to time. And it was a great blessing because when I was filming BMF, which is a show I'm on, it filmed in Atlanta. So it was just like could not have been more perfect to be shooting a show where all my family lives, getting off set, going to my mom's house, going to cousin's house, meeting up, doing fun things. Like, that was, that was like a dream for me to be able to shoot a TV series where my family lives. So because your family is so big and that they roll so large, do you have to put a writer in your contracts to say, you know, there may be people that show up on set.

And you just need to be good with that when that happens. I don't do that because I don't want to get crazy, but I love that, you know, we have a great set with BMF and family can, you know, come visit at different times. And it's just really about bringing your family into your world and allowing them to see, you know, what you do for a living. And for us, it's work. You know, we do it all the time.

But for someone else to go to a set and see how things, you know, all come together and how you make a TV show is such an experience. So I'm always glad to be able to share that. You say you still live in Brooklyn. Do you ever walk by the Marcy Projects? Yes, I do. And when you do, what is that like for you knowing that? I do.

You know, that could have been, I mean, the thing about the projects, if you know anything about the projects, people don't always get out. They're often generations of people, four generations. Someone's mama, their grandmother, their great grandma, all live on the same project. That didn't happen for your family. What's that like for you when you go back and you walk through or walk past the Marcy? Yeah, I think it's a huge part of what we all became. Our roots are in the Marcy projects, you know, with my grandmother raising all her kids there.

My mom lived there until she was about 21 years old. I see it in the woman that my mom's become, which he passed on to me and just the resilience, the New Yorker in you, the fight in you, the, you know, you can't keep us down for too long. You know, when you get knocked down, you get back up, you come back swinging. All of those things that New York life and project life just makes you be Teflon strong. And I think we all have, have that in us. So I'm always grateful. And I always look in, when I walk past or drive past, I drive past a lot.

I look in and I just like, I wonder what life was like for my mom, like teenage years, you know, growing up there, like, what was it actually like? Because now I know a lot of people that, you know, are from there as well. But I'm like, what was it like back then? But my mom always tells me to stories and stuff. But I think it's definitely a key piece to who we all are for sure. Do people underestimate your strength? I think so at times.

I think people underestimate anyone who's a public figure in some sense. Like, you know, it's just a free ground to criticize, to judge, to say things like we go through things like anyone else. The only difference is a lot of times when someone else goes through things, the whole world doesn't see it. It's not on display for everyone to, you know, be able to give a comment. And I love, like one thing I always say is everyone knows, everyone has all the answers and knows what they're going to do until they're in that situation. It's so easy to say, oh, she should have did this. Why is she doing that? Why is she with this one?

Until you're in this situation, then it's a whole other. ball game. So it's a lot that comes with it. But then there's so many beautiful blessings as well. And, you know, quoting my mom when she always says, you know, you can't have one without the other. You can't say, I love this and have access to all these great things and access to even give back and give to your community and change lives, but then say, okay, but I don't want the piece where people can talk about me or where people can, like, it doesn't work like that. Like, you got to, you got to take it all. So I take it all in stride and just do the best I can. What is the piece of it that irks you the most.

I'm naturally a people-pleaser. I'm naturally someone who, you know, wants to make friends and wants to be liked. And I've gotten better with that as I've gotten older as well. But when you naturally have that personality and people are tearing you down and you don't even know them, it's like, dad, what did I do? Like, you don't even know me.

You haven't even given me a chance to show you who I am. Like, I'm a great person. I have a good heart. Like, there's not a bad bone in my body. And you want to scream that and you want everyone to know that, but you realize that's just not even realistic. and everyone's not going to like you. Everyone's going to, people are going to have something to say,

and you just got to kind of get used to that. At what point, you know, when you use the term people pleaser, which I don't even think people understood like 20 years ago. You know, that's a term that we now use. It's an example of when people talk about trauma now. That was not a term that we were used a lot in the past. But we have tools now to help us understand who we are,

what we're going through, how we process things. And if you are people-pleaser, there's a point where you have to get to the point where you don't care if you're making everybody else happy, particularly if you're sacrificing a bit of yourself in order to do that. When did you get to that point? And what was the epiphany for you, where you realize, you know what, if everybody isn't happy,

they just have to be good with that. At the core, you're battling this alone and figuring out the tools you need to get through it alone. And I'm like, you know, why am I putting so much emphasis on people that don't matter, or people that are not with me in these moments in the trenches. You know what I mean? These people are not even around. They're not affecting my life in any way. They're not paying my rent or helping me when I'm down. So it's like, why am I putting so much emphasis on what they think about me or what they're saying about me or how they feel about me? Like, it became irrelevant to me. And I had to just kind of work

through that on my own because back to the people pleasing way, it's like, no, I'm a nice person. Please just get to know me. Like, talk to me once. You're going to like me. You're going to like me. Like, why? What do you mean? And I just had to get to. that point and it took, you know, some, some low times to just really see who was there and really understand that that stuff doesn't even matter. And the people that are supposed to know and get it, they do. The people that matter in my life that know where my heart is, who I am, that's where I pour my energy into. When you were young, you said something interesting. You were not trying to hang out a lot in the kitchen. And when you look back, do you, in some ways wish you spent a little more

time in the kitchen, not just to learn how to cook, but to stop up the wisdom you get in the kitchen, because there's kitchen wisdom, and that's a special kind of wisdom. Yeah, for sure. I definitely do, because, you know, I'm a mom of one, and my son is a better cook than I am, which I'm grateful for that. But, you know, there are times where, as a mom, I mean, don't get me wrong. He ate every day. We had great food. I did what I could, whether it was having someone cook for us or ordering out or whatever, whatever it was. We were never lacking. We were never lacking. But, you know, just the moment of being able to sit there and, like, make your favorite meal for your kid or have this, like, whatever, this lavish go-to, whatever it is that it's like, today I'm going to make my famous, whatever it is. Well, I do have a famous French toast. That's what I'm really great at. But, you know, like, whatever your meal is and to do that with your kid. But we bonded in other ways. He would cook or he knew I wasn't a good cook and we would laugh about it. So for us, it was more like, let's try to make this special spaghetti and let's see how it comes out. And we're like trying to. together and laughing. So we still had our ways to bond in the kitchen, even though I'm not this

great cook or this great chef. Like, we kind of were figuring it out together and had great conversations and still have great conversations and great moments in the kitchen without me being like this expert cook. So give me an example of something that you cook that you, where you nailed it and you, like the French toast. I'm really great. I should give myself more credit because I said I don't cook. I'm not good at cooking. I'm really great at breakfast. That is something I'm great at. So my son will say, hey, Mom, can you make us breakfast? French toast, pancakes, eggs, bacon, you know, all the breakfast stuff I'm actually really great at.

And I can't even tell you how I became great at that because that's not something I remember mom cooking growing up. Like she wasn't saying come down. We're having French toast. I don't remember that. So I just learned it along the way. But breakfast, I always tell, like, my friends and family, I'm like, breakfast is where I shine. That's where I shine. Now, once we pass breakfast, it gets a little scary.

But breakfast is where I shines. So when we talked to Gil King, she said, I don't cook. Like, she just feels clear about it. I love Ms. Gil. I don't kill. She's like Carrie in Sex and the City, where she keeps magazines in her oven. You know, like, it's a storage system for shoes or something like that.

She doesn't cook at all. So are you one of those people who do not cook at all? Or have you tried and you just realize it's just not for you? It just doesn't. When I try, it's more like, let's do something fun today. let's try to make, like I said, this spaghetti or something, it's not because I really cook or I enjoy it. It's a once in a blue kind of like, let's try something new kind of thing. You know, people say like, you know, for women, like cooking is the best way to a man's heart.

You know, it's through his stomach. You hear all these things and I'm like, maybe I should have learned it more. But it's also never too late. Like I said, I was in a cooking experience today before I came and talked to you where we learned how to make macaroni and cheese and I enjoyed it. So we'll see. We'll see. life's not over yet. We'll see.

Well, next time we're together, we'll get in the kitchen. I would love that. And we'll throw something together. I would love that. And I think I'm learning that some people who even aren't, don't love cooking all the time or the best cooks, like they have their go-to meal. So if I had like a couple go-to things,

like someone say, you know, I have a go-to lasagna. I have it, like, whatever your go-to is, if I had a few of those, I think I would be good. And even today, like making the macaroni and cheese, I think, you know, macaroni and cheese is a big thing. I'm not going to underestimate it. But sometimes you're, like, terrified to even try it. But, like, today, Melba taught me from Melba's Sofood here in Harlem.

Oh, well, that's the best possible teacher you could have. But, like, as we're going through it, I'm not downplaying it saying it's not hard. It is. But it just feels so much more than when you get into the nicks of it. Like, okay, here's your cheese. Mix this. I'm like, okay, I can do this. It'll take a couple tries to get it exactly where I want.

But it doesn't feel as scary as it does when I'm just like, I'm going to try to make macaroni a cheese, you know? Well, mac and cheese is hard also because everybody has their own version of mac and cheese. Yes, and that's what I learned today. Some people like a creamy. Some people like a crispy. And so if you're serving mac and cheese and it's outside of your love circle, you're playing up against their mama. Exactly. Like you're trying to like hit the notes that their mom sang in the kitchen.

And that's really, really difficult. Definitely difficult. So I'm just, look, I'm just a beginner. I only did it twice. I'm going to see where it goes. But I shout out to Melba for being like the best teacher. and I'm just learning slowly. And one of the lessons is, you know,

there's nothing wrong with outsourcing. I mean, you know, maybe this is not something I should say in front of a microphone, but I don't really fry chicken anymore. Okay. All right. No judgment here.

I found somebody who can really put a scald on some chicken. Uh-huh. And if I need fried chicken, that's who I call. You know, it's so funny you said that I remember last Thanksgiving, the Thanksgiving prior, we were at my mom's house,

and I remember the doorbell ringing and like somebody bringing something and my mom had like $20. And I was just like, Ma, what are you doing? And she kind of just brushed me off and then later my brother made a joke. Like, you didn't see Mommy get a lady $20 for like the collar greens.

I was like, Ma, since when did you start paying people to like bring food? But she's like, I just, that's not my strong point. I just don't want to do it anymore. Like I found somebody that's amazing. $20, I'm getting a pan of it. But it was just funny because it was like like a download transaction. Yeah, no shame. She's supporting the local economy.

I was like, it's okay. But I totally understand what you say now because I just saw my mom do that not too long ago. I mean, I used to do that. This is some time ago. I learned how to cook collard greens early on because my mom was makes, you know, you used to make great collard greens. And people serve them on New Year's. And I used to make collard greens and I would run around and drop them off at people. Because you find, you know, if you can help somebody out.

Yeah. They'll do a favor for you later on. Of course. And there's no shame in that. No. And I also think that goes back to what you're talking about. Food, community, love, sharing. Like, that's the same thing.

Calling your neighbor or your girlfriend is saying, hey, I love when you make whatever, that red velvet cake. Can you bring us some? You know, that's all part of the story. You know, it's like, remember my girlfriend, someone's so made the best? You know, it's all part of the story of what we're talking about. And you're doing as much for them.

When whoever that woman was who gave your mother the pot, the little pan of greens, she was so proud when she walked home with that $20 in her pocket because she knew that she made somebody else happy. That's the way it works. Definitely, definitely. Lala's story reminds us of just how important it is to cherish the time that we spend with family. It's not always promised to us. The kids grow up, they leave, our parents age, and we sometimes don't appreciate the time that we have altogether.

One of the things I appreciate is a good road trip. I love traveling with my family because we're all together in a fairly confined space. It feels cozy. We talk. We sing. We laugh. Yeah, sometimes we argue. But the point is we're all together in a space with America right outside the window. We can just look and see new things and talk about those things and experience the thrill of going someplace new. And I've been able to do that this year. in a Rivian RS1 because Rivian sponsors the show and they gave me an RS1 vehicle and I love traveling in that vehicle and I especially love traveling with my family. If you've been listening to all of our shows at HG, you know that we've partnered with Rivian and you know also that Rivian makes a vehicle for the whole family that helps create those memories that I cherish so much. When you've got a family, you need a ride that can keep up without sacrificing comfort or adventure. And that's why I love my Rivian RS1. It's a three-row SUV with plenty of space for the crew

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the menopause trained expert today. And make sure to use Code Kitchen to get $20 off your first order. Tell me about your mom and dad. Your father was a flight attendant. Your mom worked also. Can you tell me a little bit about them? So my mom and dad divorced when I was pretty young. My dad, like you mentioned, was a flight attendant. And you know, his name was Sam, right? Sam, yeah, pursuing his dreams of traveling the world, which, you know, looking back, I understand it now during that time. I did feel like my dad was gone and we would go, you know, a long amount of time without, you know, talking to him and stuff. But as an adult, I get following your dreams and having a chance as a young man who grew up in Brooklyn, having a chance to now be this flight attendant and explore the world and all these

countries and places. But my mom was kind of the one who had to stay back and she worked in a hospital and like admissions in the hospital. And I do remember missing my dad, but now hearing all my dad's stories and being able to hear about these incredible countries and you should visit here and this culture and seeing how well-rounded and diverse my dad is, I have more of an appreciation of it now as an adult

than I did as a child. Did that give you a little bit of wanderlust yourself? You wanted to go out and see the world yourself? 100%. 100%. That's what my drive and independence comes from. It was just like, I want to see the world. I don't want to be dependent.

My dad kind of, even to this day has a very, like, just fly by the seat of your pants personality. He could wake up tomorrow. And I'm like, Dad, where are you? I'm in the car. I'm traveling cross country. I'm going. It's like, when did you decide to do that?

I don't know. I just woke up and decided I want to go see. And that's just always been him. But I admire, you know, that about him. And seeing that growing up, I was like, I don't want to stay trapped in one place. And like you said, generations of everyone living. in the same places.

And, you know, my mom even said growing up in Brooklyn, like, most of the times you never even went to the city. And that's the same. That's New York. Like, you never went to the city. You lived in Brooklyn. She said the city felt like another state, another country in so many ways. Like, you had everything you needed in Brooklyn.

There was no reason to ever, like, if someone was like, oh, I'm going to Times Square, I'm going to city. It's like, for what? Like, it just wasn't. And you have people that, as crazy as it sounds, lives in Brooklyn and, like, never ventured into the city or anything like that. So I get it. And then you stay stuck.

in that. So my dad's lifestyle, you know, made me want to explore and see more of the world. And your mom is Carmen. Carmen is my mom, yes. And she is my best friend and the strength and everything. And sometimes, you know, I wish my mom was able to live her life more and not have been, I won't say stuck, but, you know, taking care of her two kids and just working, you know, a typical hospital job, just going to work and coming home just to provide for her kids. And now I feel like she's living and it makes me really happy. So I think she's making up for it now at this stage of her life. You have a younger brother also. So you're the oldest. I read something when I was doing my research on you that your mom said that she felt like she had to, you were, you were beautiful,

you were headstrong, you were ambitious. And she was trying to find the balance of pushing you out in the world so you would do whatever you wanted to do, but at the same time protecting you. Yeah. Did you feel that tension from her? I didn't feel it that much. If that's how she felt what she told me later on, then she hit it well. My mom was pretty lenient in allowing me to, like, chase my dreams. Like, I came home one day, like, Mom, I'm moving to L.A.

I had never been to L.A. before. L.A. was a foreign place for us. We didn't have money or resources to know, like, about L.A. or what that was. And she was just like, okay. And I was like, I'm going to pursue like a radio job there and just got on the plane, had never been and moved to L.A. fresh off, you know, getting off the plane. And I'm sure she was scared, but she was supportive. And that's how my career really started taking off.

So she never tried to hold me back. So if she had those thoughts or those fears, she kind of contained them and was always super, you know, supportive in what I was doing. And I appreciate that because there's no way I could be who I am now and achieve the things I achieve now if my mom was trying to keep me, you know, in this one place. So I'm very grateful. Yeah, because she probably did have those fears. She just figured I'm going to swallow them. Yeah, and now as a parent, I understand it a lot more. My son's getting ready to go to college and I haven't been right since. Like some days it's nothing but happiness. Some days it's tears. Some days

it's fear. Some days it's worry. Some days it's excitement. Some days it's everything mixed together. So I get it now. And you know, your parents always tell you know, one day you're going to understand and you're like, blah, blah, blah. It's like, one day you're going to understand or one day you're going to say, my mom said this day, and then you start becoming a parent and you go through life

and the challenges and the different things, and you're like, this is everything my mom said. And you two are very close. Very. That's clear. Very close. So he's going to Syracuse. It's going to Syracuse, yeah.

So he's following in family footsteps. Yes, his dad went to Syracuse there for a year and won the championship, so we're super excited for Kayan is my son's name, for Kayan to go to Syracuse. And I was telling him, you know, pave your own way, you know, make your own footprint.

Like, it's amazing that you want to go to your dad's alma mater, but do it your way, you know, do your thing. And he's excited about that. And we're excited for this next chapter. So what are you doing to prepare yourself for when you send him off? Do you have a strategy? Because having raised adult children,

I can tell you, when you do that drop off, it's a whole thing. I know. I'm hearing about it. I don't have a strategy. I'm kind of going day by day, but it's just so funny because he only graduated on Saturday. And I feel like I've had like five different unexpected interventions. People are like, so what are you going to do now?

Are you going to still live in New York? Are you going to move to Atlanta? Are you going to come to L.A.? And it's like, it's coming from everywhere. Of course, all loving, caring and concern. I love my family. I love my friends. But everyone all of a sudden is just like out of nowhere.

It's like, so what's your plan now? I'm just like, I haven't even gotten there. yet I'm still getting him prepared to go to college and moving him in. So it's going to be interesting. I'm just taking it day by day. Yeah. Well, I don't want to add to that by asking about your interventions. But, you know, I will say that I think a lot of people also realize, even when you're

really close to your children and it feels like an appendage is leaving your body, you know, like it just hurts the idea that they're leaving. At the same time, rooms in your head open up. Right. Like you just have, oh, I haven't, I just haven't been able to breathe like this. I haven't, you know, had that kind of time. So that's a, you know, even with the pain, there's a little bit of a dividend. Well, thank you for that.

They haven't opened up yet, so I'm looking forward to that part. So you mentioned going to L.A. to work in radio. I want to roll it back because before you became, before you got your bid break, big break, you had a bunch of different jobs. You scooped ice cream. Yeah, Bassin Robbins. Probably still have a sore wrist for everybody who worked in the ice. That ice cream shop said that wrist thing is real. It's real. You had to, you worked at Hot 97, which we mentioned. You had a couple of other odd jobs. Telemarketing, Marshall's, clothing store.

I did a bunch of different things. Tattoo parlor, I did a lot. Tattoo parlor. What did you do with a tattoo parlor? Just a receptionist, but just trying to get work. No, just a receptionist, but trying to get work any which way I could. Did you get a tattoo while you were there? I started getting tattoos very young and I won't say that's something I'm super proud of because now I'm dealing with the pain of getting a lot of them removed. That's actually a big business right now.

Yeah, it is. It is. But there's no way anyone can make me believe something you get at 16 is going to be something you want at 35, 40, 45, 50, like life changes, things change, but you can't tell a teenager that, you know, they're not going to hear that.

Yeah. When you got your job at Hot 97.5, you had to actually get a fake ID? Yeah, I had to lie about my age because I was too young. The internship was, I believe, at that time, 18 and up, and I was 16 years old. And I was like, no, I need a job. I want to learn radio. I love music. So I did get a fake ID and I said I was 18 when I was really 16 and I got hired.

And the rest is kind of history. But I did have to have to do that to get that job. Do you think, not looking back on it, do you think that they knew that you were 8, 16, and they just went along with it? I don't think they knew. I think they found out later, and by that time, I was too, like, enthralled in everything. But I don't think they knew at that time. Like, I don't think they knew at all. And you were interested in being a rapper for a while. Yeah, I mean, I just loved music. I wanted to rap. I wanted to be around music. So my thing was, what's a place that will have me surrounded by producers and artists and music and all the people I admire? like a radio station, even if it's an internship, even if I'm just hanging up a poster and somebody

just happens to walk by, just being around, that energy is what I wanted. And so that's what really pushed me to apply for that internship. And at that time, it wasn't a paid internship, but I didn't care about getting paid. I just wanted to be in that environment. And isn't that how you found out about the internship? You were watching somebody else hang posters? Yes. I went to a store opening and I was like, what are these people doing? They're hanging like posters of somebody's album coming out. And I literally tapped one of them and they were like, yeah, we work for a radio station. We're like part of the promo team that goes around in his van and like hangs up posters and does all this stuff. And they were like, but I know they're looking for interns and they gave me like somebody's number at that time and I reached out.

And then that's kind of how it all happened. When you were working as a DJ, DJs have to find their voice, not just the octave that they speak in, but who you are going to be. And sometimes that's the same person that you are in real life. But other times it's a persona that you develop. Agree. How did you find your voice and how different was it from Lala? So very similar. I always said like during that time I was on the radio on Atlanta,

I wanted to be the who I was at the core, the New York girl. Like the New York girl that brought that Brooklyn, New York flavor to Atlanta. I didn't talk with an accent. You know, I didn't have that. We talked about that southern back. background or culture. So it was like I'm speaking from like a New York perspective and that was authentic to me. So it's not like when the mic turned on. I had to become someone else. So I was just like, let me just stick with this because this is a different lane. Like everyone

else is from Atlanta and kind of speaking the same thing. I'm coming from a different perspective. Also introducing different music that I'm hearing is super popular in New York right now. You know, the hip hop artist there and stuff like that. So I just stuck in that lane because it was a lane that was totally empty. And I was like, I might as well stay here. hear and that's what I did and I brought that along same thing with MTV and TRL like even on TRL I was like the hit known as like the hip hop girl like I knew all the hip hop music and the artist but TRL didn't have that on direct effect that was a hip hop show on MTV so I stayed genuine to who I was and that's what I was able to continue to do and it didn't feel like

Mike on different person it just felt like I was being authentically who I was yeah but the business also as expectations. You've said many times that they didn't understand you, particularly as a Latina, as an Afro-Latina, that when you moved into acting, for instance, they had a certain idea of what you should look like and sound like for some of the roles that you wanted to pursue. 100%. 100%. It wasn't, you're not the traditional Spanish girl. Whatever Hollywood's definition of that was, you don't look like the traditional Spanish girl. So there was a point, and I tell the story, you know, where I told my agents, stop sending me out for Spanish roles because every time there's like, no, she's not what we're looking for. That's not the look we're going for. It just became a thing.

I'm like, just stop doing it because they're not going to look at me and say Spanish. And this is before you were even hearing the term like Afro-Latina and stuff. People weren't saying that. Like, you weren't hearing that. It was just like in their mind, it was like a Jennifer Lopez type. Like whatever that look is. Like that's what Spanish girls look like all over. It didn't matter. And now you're seeing more diversity. We're still not there all the way, but you're seeing more shades and colors and hair textures and everything. But that wasn't how it was before. How did you handle that when you were going out on those auditions? And you know, you grew up in a barriq household. You speak Spanish. You grew up, you know, eating Puerto Rican food in your house

and people are basically telling you that you're not the right kind of Hispanic. I felt defeated a lot. I used to say sometimes I would be in auditions, be like, these girls don't even speak Spanish. Like, I speak Spanish. Like, this is crazy. But they had what was considered the look, you know. And I would be disappointed and got frustrated, like I said,

to the point where I said, just don't even send me out anymore because it just became so disappointing. So now to see that the tides have turned and Afro-Latina is a thing, and you're seeing more people that look like me, and there's just so much diversity. and like I said, texture, skin color. Whatever it is, I feel more confident to stepping into that space

and more confident about who I am and not that I ever denied who I was. I just didn't feel like there was a space for me. Well, there's a space for you now. Yes, for sure. And we love to see it. Thank you. I love to see it in the shy.

And it's interesting to hear you talk about how you don't cook because the character in the shy is someone who can really throw down in the kitchen. And she throws down. And I have learned a lot from being on the shy because to act like you know how to cook, you got to learn a little something. So I've learned about like, you know, how to cut certain things. Everything on the shy has to be very spot on.

Like they're not going to let you just freestyle. So we have chefs there teaching you how to cut. This is the right way. So I have learned a lot from being on the shy. And I... Because I was going to ask, you demonstrate knife skills. Yes, I do. I'm really good at that because I was kind of trained on the shy by different people that would come on the set and teach us.

but it hasn't all the way translated into my real life. Once they say cut, I'm like, I'll see you later. Because I was watching one of the recent episodes, and you threw the, I mean, it was this incredible meal, it was salmon, it was gumbo, it was everything, and you're trying to win someone over, and she takes a sip, just a taste of that gumbo, and she's like, you can stay. Yeah, no, no. And by the way, gumbo is not something, you don't just try to make gumbo. So the people on the Shire are amazing.

the food is amazing. And like I said, I have learned a lot. But I love that the character is a chef and is finding her way in the kitchen as well. What kind of role do you want to play that hasn't come your way yet? Casting directors, hope you're listening. Yeah, I think I would love a role where I'm completely stripped down. Like, it's not about, you know, the hair, the makeup or anything. And it's just real gritty. Like, I would love a real gritty New York story of just like a woman trying to make it in New York. and the day-to-day struggles that I saw my mom or my family go through just trying to make ends meet in New York, I'm really interested in finding a project or something like that where it's like the no hair, the no makeup, this is just me, like no lashes, none of that.

And really digging into the triumphs and the struggles of like being in New York, trying to raise a child in New York, trying to make ends meet, trying to date in New York, like all the things that come with it. I'm interested in something like that. Are you writing also? Is that something you make? Definitely producing. Definitely producing. Produce a lot with 50 Cent. Produce Willena Waith who created The Shy. Kim Kardashian and I have a project we're producing at Hulu right now. So producing has been an incredible outlet to find stories that I'm passionate about and bring them to life and also be able to work with people that I love and employ people that I love and that I'm fans of. So that's a next super exciting chapter in my career for sure. What was dinner like on a Tuesday? We began by talking about what the kitchen looked like. You didn't talk a lot about what it smelled like.

And if I just visited your house, knock, knock, it's Tuesday. What's on the table? Okay, growing up, knock, knock is Tuesday. You're going to smell great. There's going to be a great aroma in the house. Like I said, it's probably going to be the same thing that we ate the day before. Okay, the chicken? Chicken, rice and beans.

Yes, that's what it was. But it's going to taste great where I'd be the best chicken, rice, and beans you've ever had. And going to be music playing in the house, TV probably on, a lot of in and out people, you know, coming in and out and a lot of love. Like, you could have came for the first time. You're getting hugged by everybody. You're getting kissed by everybody. They're going to act like they've known you for years, never seen you a day in their life. You're going to sit down.

You're going to be served. And it's going to be a great experience. What about the holidays? Holidays are everything I just described times 100. Like everything I described, food, music, family, love, cards, drinking, just all being together camaraderie. And that's, I've just, I'm just so grateful for it because I realize, again, growing up that when I grew up, I remember having, my cousin and I talked about this, I remember having

a sense that this is how everybody's family is because you didn't interact with a lot of other family. So in your mind, this is just how it is. And obviously, growing up, you realize it's not that. And I'm grateful for that family component because you do realize that a lot of people don't have that, you know, and that's not the dynamics of you start growing up and being a teenager and meeting your friend's family. Like, I don't get along with my mom. My mom does, you know, and you start seeing all. And I'm like, wow, this is really different from us. So I'm super grateful for it. And that's a gift of Kayan also because he's got that cocoon. Yes, for sure. And he loves it. And I always tell them, you know, this is how you should be when you have your family and everything.

Like, be the same way. Like, it's so important. You describe the happy times. And I'm not trying to get all up in your business necessarily, but kitchens are also where we have our largest arguments. And even though they can be difficult, often out of that experience, come important life lessons. Like you learn how to argue in the kitchen. You learn how to, you learn a certain kind of diplomacy in the kitchen. You learn how to spar. It's where you can test things out and then you're better at it when you go out into the world. Is there an example of that in the kitchen that you grew up with? Like a specific lesson you learned, it did not feel good at the time, but I'm a better person

because of it. So to be all the way honest with you, the lesson I learned speaking to what you're talking about is that when grownups are arguing or, disagreeing, you exit the situation. You go upstairs, you go to your room. Kids are not supposed to be in grown-us business. And that is the lesson that has been great for me because everything's not for everybody. Even now as an adult, I don't need to insert myself in every body's issue and everybody's argument. Grown folks. Exactly. Exactly. And I think that's why I have the connections and the friendships I have. I have genuine great friendships. I've never had an issue of, you know, someone's business getting out or, you know, you said this about me to this person.

Like, I've never had anything of the sort. I keep everybody in their own, like, compartment. And that's just how it is. I don't cross-pollinate. I don't do any of that. Everyone's, like, on an island of their own. And it works. So people know when they confide to me, that's what it is. That's, you know, that's a special friend. Discretion is something that a lot of people struggle with. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. So if people know that about you, and they're going to hold you tight. Yeah, for sure. And they're going to hold you in very high regard. We always like to leave our listeners with a recipe.

And you sent in a handwritten recipe. Is that your mama's handwriting? That's my mom's handwriting, yep. For it's arouse can boil? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Tell us about it. What makes it special? Was this the rice that you would have?

Is this the rice I've been talking to you about for the last hour? So yes, it's special because this is what, it just feels like home. It feels safe. It feels like love. It's a reminder of so many things in my life. So I have my mom write it down to always have it and shared it with you guys. So I hope that anyone who makes it, utilize it, can feel that same comfort and love that I felt growing up, you know, eating it all the time. Well, we're going to post it on the website.

Oh, awesome. Make sure that if you do this, you need a small jar of seeded pimento's. Yes. That is one of the things that really sets this off. Okay, so we're going to post the PR Rice with Chicken. That's what you call it, Puerto Rican Rice with Chicken. We're going to have that on the website. Maybe if you're extra generous, you will shoot me what makes your French toast so special since you were bragging on your French toast.

I don't know if you have like a secret ingredient that you put in there. I do feel confident in that. I can do that for sure. What kind of bread do you use? I know everyone says use what is it, holla bread and all this stuff. I mean, I've been growing up eating French toast, making French toast for myself since I was, a teenager on regular Wonderbread, wheat bread. So I don't need all the special bread. It still tastes great. But I do know that's a thing and people love that so we can do that too. Yeah. Well, you know,

white bread is fine too. Exactly. Wonderbread, Arnold White Bread has a little bit of a crust on it. All that. So we may hit you up for that also. All right. Lala, I have loved talking to you. Why do they call you Lala? My real name is Alani. So if you break down Alani, so it was La and then Lala. But I love talking to you. This was really refreshing and just taking a trip down memory lane and thinking about childhood and growing up has been really great. So thank you for such a great space to just have a great conversation. Thank you for all you do. Thank you for your open-hearted way that you walk through the world. I've seen it up close. We were together once where we were with a group of young men who

almost lost their mind when they saw you. And I think it was the My Brother's Keeper program. And what I remembered is that you looked them in the eye and you spent time with every single one of them and you made every single one of them feel like that you were there just for them for at least a moment. And they all felt really elevated by that. It says a lot about who you are. Thank you. I had such a great time and I hope to see you soon and talk to you soon. And thank you for this. What I have loved about this conversation is that we learned about Lala's childhood. We learned about her undeniable drive, her work ethic. And we learned that she follows her own compass. And that's something that's not always easy to do, but she does it with grace and charm. Now, before we let you go,

as always, our inbox is open for you to record yourself and send us some thoughts about your mama's kitchen, some memories from the kitchen that you grew up with, maybe some recipes from the kitchen that you grew up in, some stories that you've heard on the show, maybe you have thoughts on one of the earlier episodes. You can send us a voice memo or video recording. You can send that to YMK at higher ground productions.com for a chance for your voice to be featured in a future episode or your video to be featured now that we're showing these episodes on YouTube as well. And if you want to try making any of the recipes from previous episodes or particularly the Puerto Rican chicken with rice, you can find that at our website. That is at your mama's kitchen.com.

And why we're talking about kitchens and family, it makes me think about some of my favorite travel memories. And they often happen when I'm cooking in a borrowed kitchen, when I'm staying at an Airbnb, which I like to do specifically, specifically, because when I'm staying in an Airbnb, I have access to a kitchen. I can make healthy meals. I can have dinner with my family and do it in a space that's cozy, in a space that's warm, in a space where I can actually make a home-cooked meal, even though I'm in someone else's home. There's something special about gathering around a table, no matter where you are. Thanks for gathering with us today. I hope you'll come back next week and the week after that, because here at your mama's kitchen, we are always, always,

always serving up something delicious. See you soon. Until then, be bountiful.