Middle-aged opinion - Am I overthinking

Episode Date: January 22, 2025

Today we talk about stories and the OP are asking if they’re overthinking. The truth is most aunt and a couple are we hope you enjoy this episode and subscribe for more content.

Wow, what do you think of her? What do you think of her? I think that girl has got everything she needs. Oh Ellie tell my dog to go to bed because she's not listening. Bed! It's like when I talk to your phone. Stop taking over my life. Everything I own is yours.

But then, but then when we do, what do you think about that? I think you're me and it sounds like me the whole way through. Someone said, why is Ellie? It's me and Ellie having an actual conversation. Why is it always about Ellie? Always both. I know. It's because I'm the lady.

I feel like I'm missing something. Are we missing anything? Your phone, my laptop. Got it. Coffee, got it. Bid, bed. Hattie, don't.

We've tested the mics. I did test them before you got here. Hello. I feel like we're all ready to go. We're actually all good to go, I think. I still feel like we need to finish off this heritage thing. I do, you got one as well.

It's fucking everywhere today. How often do you bath her? I only bath Cookie once a month. I don't bath her once a month, probably every other, maybe every third. I only bath her once a month because the flea treatment's delivered. So then I bath her. She's fresh. Probably every third, I would say. Oh, next time I go up Home Bargains where Alfie lives, do you want one? That gigantic bottle? Yeah, but look, look at it, babe.

Since we're in training, look. Since yesterday, let's go drink up. Oh my God. Do you want one? There are only five, I'll get you one. Almost there. You did it! Paul wants one, so I'm gonna grab him one. Oh my god. Right, so let's, before we introduce, let's do our week. What's been going on, even though we've spoke every single day? Shall we tell them what we're doing? We need a team which I've started looking for by the way. Yeah. Yeah so I've joined UK's toughest mudder, well London West. On ours or as you? On us. Oh cool.

Yeah because that made more sense to me. Yeah because then I can see it too. Yeah on Facebook I joined quite a few of them and I'm hoping that we can slip in with a group. Hello! Yeah, just, well... I'm not joining the gym, I hate it. No, I can't afford to join a gym. So, it usually is gonna be street training, standing outside a gym looking through the window and copying. Just outside, like, copying the munchies. I can't afford the gym. So I'll just participate outside. Don't come through. So if anyone sees some lady outside copying you. Mind your

business. It's like Emily she's inspired by your. If you're a PT and you see me doing it mind your business. She ain't got money to pay you. Don't close the curtains. Yeah but we definitely, I mean there will be times like on a Sunday when you ain't got the kids that we could go running and that. Yeah, massive please. I think I've seen some knee pads that strap as well. Yeah, I need proper knee support this time. So do I.

Not a wellie for support. That was hilarious. It was so unsupported. I don't know if we need to take like change of clothes and that because... It was about as supportive as my ex. Fell down within seconds. So rubbish. Got wet. Got wet yeah and went limp. got wet and went limp. We read about that last week. Yeah so I am really excited about it but I'm like I need to try. Just to clarify we have booked ourselves in to Tough Mudder Infinity which is in May. It's a 12 hour run of obstacles and mud and round and round and round as many a time yeah not high hills no I feel like it was a little bit hilly where we were no

this is we really need to train yeah I don't know I don't know how we're gonna do it I feel like this is above or just as challenging as the 55 mile bike ride? Bike raid? Ride? Yeah I did that. I do I feel like it's it on par now. I think it is going to be on par. I'm not boasting but I found the first one we did somewhat easy. It was fun. We enjoyed it. Yeah we were bruised. It was fun. I didn't feel like it was hard But it had a challenge. Yeah, whereas the last one definitely had its challenges and we probably would have done I Don't say easier But probably easier if we had more than just the two of it. I agree Fun was had all the way through all the way through through, it was hilarious. And that will definitely happen this time around.

Can't wear a t-shirt that doesn't dry instantly. I don't know what I was thinking. Yeah, we will dress better. Well, you will dress better. I'll dress better. It's still gotta be that fabric, innit? Yeah, it's gotta be the quick dry shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Maybe a wetsuit. Anyone got a wet suit? Not a wet suit. Not a wet suit. The only thing that puts me off it being in May is the chance of it raining. I don't think it was that warm when we did this one in September. No, but the idea was that it's likely to be raining come May. See the beginning of May is still cold in the morning and cold in the evening. I can cope with being wet.

When does the Sun set in May? Hey Google what time does the Sun set in May? Sorry I don't understand. Oh you're thick as shit. Let me have a look. Is that off of my phone or off your? That's Google. Oh. Google. Oh, no, you didn't say. No, you have to just talk to her.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, sorry. I'll start again. Hey Google, when does the sun set in May time? Sorry, I didn't understand. I didn't understand what I said either. what I said either. I don't know why she's being thick. Depends on location. Alright. Hey Google, what time does the sun set in Causton Surrey in May normally? In May normally? She's thinking about it. No

she's just... North London. Okay, let me put North London. It's near Reading, do you know that? I don't. It's actually further away. We knew it was further away, that's why we've always done this one. Yeah but we've got to be there at 7.30. 7.30, so we're gonna have to. Oh I'd rather. I'd rather, yeah which I think is better so we can Can we get McDonald's breakfast? No. You're one out of all that. We'll throw that up. We will throw that up babe, can't do it. Well what were we eating before? Sun comes up at 5, this is around the 19th and then goes to bed around 9 o'clock in the evening so it will be What in May? Yeah. No not 9 o'clock in the evening sunrise sunset. Where are you? London UK

Well, what time does it set in the summer then if it's a nine there in May? I don't know. Maybe it's lying to me. It's definitely lying to you. I mean even she didn't know Now it's barely making four o'clock It's actually upsetting me. Right. Yeah, so we've done that, we've booked that, we were excited about that. We're excited and worried all at the same time but when we were done London to Brighton I took that very seriously because I knew I was gonna die otherwise. I didn't take that seriously. She didn't. And I died. When we were going up the first hill, the first fucking hill,

she put, which literally is around the corner from me, so we had done 10 miles to be fair. And my body was like, you've done, because I, when I trained I did 10 miles a day. My training, I got to 8 miles, that was the longest I managed. Which is great. It's not. Okay, well I trained. Not that we were doing a 26 mile. I trained 55 miles. Oh yeah. That's what I meant. Yeah so I did, I got up to 10 miles a day and went out every single day and did 10 miles a day. Quite proud of myself and then once I had done where I live there is a hill that is literally like this. When I completed that I was like I'm gonna be fine. And then anyway, so we got up to this hill

and she pulled over and she was holding her side. So everyone was like, where's Emily? I was like, she's got a stitch. When you come up, you went, I got a stitch. I didn't have a stitch. I think it's because you had touched your sides. I was like, oh, she's got a stitch. Yeah, yeah.

I don't think anyone did bad. Everyone done, we all completed it. I finished and that was actually all I wanted to do. I don't think anyone did bad. Everyone done, we all completed it. I finished and that was actually all I wanted to do. I felt emotional. So mine wasn't finished, I wanted to finish. It wasn't about time. For me, if I did it again, it'd be about doing it in a better time. Because now I've got... Yes, but for me it was about riding every single millimetre of that 55 miles and I did. Even up Dutchlinbeker, I was like, I have to ride.

That last hill. Oh my god. If anyone knows, in the UK, Dutchlinbeker is... I did walk probably most of that. No, I rode the whole... I feel like it would have been harder to walk it. It was so... It is literally... And then Adam was trying to take my bike off. He's like, let me... I'm like, no, been harder to walk it it was so it is

literally Adam was trying to take my bike off he said let me I'm like no no it's holding me up yeah I need the bike to push myself up because I couldn't walk it on my own but then you know it was the last hill before you finished you get like you get to the top of the hill and that's your next water stop so stupidly the second water stop I didn't stop I just carried on and had no water so I had these gel things that were literally like phlegm so I was using them to go up the hill so up the hill when I got to the point where I couldn't breathe I stopped and then I carried on riding and everyone was like you're doing amazing because people support each other and I was like can you you all just shut the fuck up? Stop talking to me!

Yeah, I didn't do well with the support. No, I'm not very good. I'm just want, just shush. I know I'm doing well. I don't need you to shout at me. I'm clearly riding. I'm still going. I'm still here.

I'm not dead. I know I'm doing all right. And then when I got to the top, I literally laid underneath the water thing, like, oh my God, it filled up. And then I was there for about 20 minutes and Adam rung me just as I got to the top. That's Emily's brother and he was like, wait for me.

And I was like, oh my God, because I was in so much pain. So he got up in about an hour. Then he was like, wait for Martin and Emma. So then Martin and Emma come about another half an hour and my leg and Adam's just sitting there and my legs were in so much pain I was like I just I need to finish otherwise I ain't finishing yeah so then he said let's all go together me Adam Martin Emma so I was like yeah right then because I just had to I just had to get it done and then Adam caught

up with me, Martin and Emma didn't obviously they came in after and we went through the finish line I was like oh my god I'm gonna cry oh my god I'm gonna cry like a bitch I'm gonna cry like because I was so happy I'd done it but it's actually the true story is I got to 38 miles and it was Paul that spurred me forward so I rung Paul and was like because I was on my own at that point and I was like you're at babe I was having an energy drink and I was like I don't know I don't know if I can do it where's the cereal and I was just like what do you mean where the cereal is just written

for 38 miles I don't fucking care where the cereal is. And he's like, Harry's looking for the cereal, blah, blah, blah. So when I got off the phone, I was so angry that for the next 20 miles, I was like, fucking, fucking bastard, fucking, no one cares about me. Yeah, you're true.

No one's worried about me. Fuckin' Harry. Didn't ask how I was doing. How they choke on it. I'm not there. How can I help you with the cereal? That's what I was like the whole rest of the way. Don't be worried. Don't be worried.

I'm the cereal. So that was the funniest part of the whole thing. He actually helped me. By stressing me out. He always says to me as well before we do things. You're not going to be able to do it babe. And I think he's trying to side-company me. helped me by stressing me out. He always says to me as well before we do things you're not gonna be able to do it babe and I think he's trying to psychologically help but it does help cuz I'm like watch me

like actually watch me do it twice yeah I said to him the other day we've booked it and he was like so what actually does it in town I was like will you go around as many times as you can? The 10, the 5 and um... Can't do that. Literally. I was like but for 12 continuous hours. He's like why? And I'm like why not? No one would be 41. Alright.

Yeah I know I just had to tell you. Do you know? Did I send you the tip? I did. I sent it to the girl group that we're not meant to be going out anymore after the age of 30. Come for me, bitch. They're going, how old is too old? They're like 1999 is like too old. And I was like, that's well rude. 1999?

Yeah. I don't even, I can't even do the math. All I know is I was 16 We were still in high school we would I love I just on our last year. Yeah 2000 yeah, I turned 16. Yeah, I was like that's well weird So we all just curl up and die we were in our last year of high school. Do you like? Pretty sure that doesn't make us home apparently we're too old to be going out anymore we should pack it in. And that last girl where maybe they should make a club suitable for like 30 to 60 year olds. Yeah I liked that. 30 to 60 year olds. The ratio is so big!

Yeah but apparently not we're all in the same bracket. When I was 30 there was no way I'd be going to a club of a 60 year old like purposely. No not purposely I mean some were there. I mean now I'm like oh I have looked at those day raves where you can be all home and in bed by yourself. Which does sound quite nice. Sounds great. But when we were 30 our girl group we went to Butlins on the 70s weekend. 70s weekend. They were all pretty old then which was hilarious because Jenna kept telling me Natasha off. It was the first Battlings we had gone on as well. It was. Jenna was like, stop it! You're going to give them all heart attacks and I was like

ahhhh. It was so funny. It was funny. I enjoyed it. I had a really great time. Yeah, 70s is a bit too old for me with the music. I prefer 80s, 90s and beyond. But to be fair, like nowadays... It's just not relatable though, isn't it? Yeah, but the music now, I do find myself going, what is that crap like our parents did? Which is fascinating because I never thought I'd be one going, what's that crap? Because their music isn't music

anymore, is it? No, it's not, it's just people talking. It's just angry people as well. Yeah, what's that crap? Because their music isn't music anymore, is it? No, it's like it's just people talking. It's just angry people as well. Yeah. It's weird. And I find it, I don't know. I keep thinking about this one song here, like really lots lately. Yeah.

And do you know that I can't even think who sings it? It's like a teeny-butt girl. And she's saying, she'll just have to taste me when you're kissing her and in my head my head goes in bad places yeah like like what do you mean well he's licked her out and now that's where i'm at in my head i'm like do you mean just lick glass that's what you mean no isn't it you know like your cherry chapstick shit and then i'm like that's not what my head thinks i feel like i need to hear the song bear with everyone oh I'm not singing it no just show me it because we get

copyright if you put it on are we not able to play it no Oh that's rude. Get copyright. That happened in one of the TikToks I put up with bands in certain countries. I was like what did I do? I took it from your like choices. What I should have done was take it down and put their whatever was allowed from them on. What I should have done was take it down and put whatever was allowed from them on. It's a very long song. It's because in my head I'm singing it. Oh it's called, oh it's from Sabrina Carpenter. Taste. You all know which one I'm talking about.

Yeah so she is like new on the scene. No she's not. She is. No she really isn't. Tasha asked me who she was I was like some bitch. No I'm only jealous. Tasha didn't know her. No she was like does anyone know who this girl is because she keeps popping up everywhere. And she's like really short? Yes. Yeah I saw a video. She was like Taylor Swift. Yes that was literally the conversation. She looked like a little pixie dog.

Take a sweep to like 5'11". Yeah, she's a tall girl. But still, she did look like a little pixie. Something's wrong with your dog. She's trying to tell you something. What's happened? Johnny's in the well? What's wrong? Yeah!

That's Lassie in it. Yeah, she's the same. What, it's Lassie? She's nothing like Lassie. She's probably like, give me a treat. I've had a treat, my dog tried to kill herself eating the treat. I was like, you need to relax. Right, what we thinking first? I don't think I've taken anything else I've done this week. Oh, what else have you done? Nothing, I've been at work. I've been really tired. When I watched the podcast, the one that's just gone up and I'm like, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then it took us ages to get these stuff.

When I watched it, yeah, all I was getting from it was you like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and I'm going, yeah, and then you're like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, what was this on when I did the story? The last one. Literally the whole way through. And I'm going, well, oh. Yeah. I mean, you were tired, and then at one point you're like,

they're boring me. Just like, oh, your devastation is boring me. Oh. Oh, did you be dying the the well that's your you problem your dry it's just oh it's too much yeah the whole way through though you were like that like it even started with you tickling me you're like are you good I don't think I was okay I joined it was the first okay. I enjoyed it though. It was the first one though. I think that first one really like bothered me that I went so quiet.

I think it's bothered everybody babe. You know that I... Oh hello. I always forget about how fucking bad these stories are. And then when we go over it and I hear it again I'm just like... I've got so much more to say. Yeah, not so much for me. I'm just like gobsmacked about how bad it actually is. I know. Right, let me see what I've got to say first.

I've got, am I. Am I already thinking? How much syrup did you put in this? Just four. I count to four, is that too much? It's quite strong. It's nice though. What are you suggesting? Three?

Possibly. One, two, three. I just count. I'm not really sure how much I'm meant to be putting in it. Right, you're gonna start us today. Oh, okay, let me get sorted. Let me get, oh you don't even open your laptop. No I'm serious. Oh it's there. Just sitting here chatting. I am excited babe but we definitely have to train. I don't know why this woman's

not getting back to me. Let me know am I getting it or not? I want that little bike thing so I can sit in front of the TV and actually do it. You might be better off trying to communicate on your own one rather than free. It is on my own. I was going to say, because I felt like some people weren't replying to me because... It's like a fake account. Yeah. I'm like, please, I really want it.

And they're ignoring me. No, yeah. I did it on my one. So I was like, oh. Because it shows where I did it on my one. So I was like, oh. Because it shows where I live on mine as well. It gives them an approximate location. Oh.

Does ours not open? I don't think ours does, no. Because it's a different set up. Whereas mine is obviously, I mean, I've brought off as well, so. I think I've sold a marketplace as well. I think well when I had an account I deleted my account didn't I? Yeah. For uh crazy reasons. Yeah well don't tell me you're having trouble with the internet.

Hold on I don't know why I clicked on oh there saved. Do you look and go what? Yeah you said fuck for me? What are we doing? Am I overthinking? We're going to go with that first. You're starting us. Okay. That was the last lot I looked at. Same here. I saved it last as well, but I got more excited when I went onto the, uh, malicious compliant or weaponized incompetence.

There you go. that was that one. I saved malicious compliant, that was another one. I was like, oh, oh, I'm looking forward to the divorce one that we're going to do. I reckon you're going to be like, what the fuck? I forgot what we're doing already. Am I overthinking? Oh. Fucking hell, good job.

You ain't overthinking. You ain't even thinking. Honestly, my brain is so fished off. I feel like a bit like that when I was going, what's that for? What's that for, Emily? And you're like, the phone. Well, why you got a phone? What are we doing?

Is that for the TikTok? It's like the whole podcast. I feel like we've been using that every time. Fucking hell. Sometimes it's like a long week, that every time. Yeah, fucking hell. Sometimes it's like a long week, you know. Even though nothing exciting's happening except I got attacked by a tree yesterday. I've already...

Really hurt. I'm sorry. About what? I've actually already forgotten what we're doing. Am I overthinking? My fucking God. I feel like you need another brain scan Honestly, I can't believe they didn't tell me what that there was nothing wrong

No, no, no one ever got back to me, but I went on to the NHS my page and The results were up and there was nothing on it that was out of the ordinary or completely off that they were prepared to crack it. I tell you what I did, when I had my brain scan, I got a letter saying can we use your brain scan for case studies. I'm like why, What the fuck is wrong with it? Then I started panicking. So I rung him and I was like, yes, is there something wrong? She's like, we can't disclose that. Why can't you use your brain?

So I'm like, but you've written and asked if you can use my brain scan. Surely you've got the results. She was like, you're going to have to discuss that with me. I was like, I'm definitely dying. I'm definitely dying. Got there and he's like, yeah, all clear. I was just like, for fuck's sake. But your woman on your reception is an arsehole. Maybe you should let people, ask people to use the scan after, after they've had the results, rather than scaring them, thinking that my brain's like just the size of a pea, which still might be true,

but just might look normal. Yeah, that that's normal we see that all the time right I'm gonna do I think okay am I overthinking no no you are not you're not even thinking I am not in gear right okay hello everyone and welcome to Middle-aged Opinion. I'm your host, Ellie. And I'm your host, Emily. I'm sorry. And today we're looking at am I overthinking? Emily is not.

I am not. I don't know whether the lights are on, how old are we on this? I think the lights are on, I just don't think anybody's home. It's like bright and pure in there. Where am I? Who are you?

You are taking this. I'm gonna start this off. Yes. So, I mean, I found a few. I found a few. I tried to pick ones that were different because there was a lot of people asking like how do I fix this which is not overthinking whereas I picked ones that am I overthinking what's going on in their life and a lot of time it's like actually

you're not over thinking it. No that my first one is... You're probably being like, um, what's the thingy? See, oh my god, why am I here? My first one, I was like, um, that I'm gonna read after you've done yours. I was like, oh, you're annoying me. And then I was like, actually, you're quite sweet. Which I like. I like it when they take me in another direction because I almost booted it. Oh, really? Yeah, but then when I read through it, I was like, actually, you you are quite sweet thinking that way. Okay so over to you. Oh it's long. Yeah they're all long today

minor. No they're not. No minor. Okay fine. We're gonna be here for a while. Well yeah because obviously you were like we rushed through that one and we did and I know why we rushed through it because we wanted to go shopping. We were like boomAM BAM BAM BAM BAM sounds like a huge problem and then off we went. Because that was the second one and the first one we had already spent two and a half hours. Yeah but I still think we had decided that we were going to go shopping. The first one we're talking about, the second one we're like yeah we're going to go shopping anyway, your mum and then we were like. What do you think about that? Not much, how about you? Let's go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nobody cares about your problems.

And then, because in my head, the whole second one, yeah, the whole second one, I'm like, must get matching pajamas for Christmas. Because normally, each podcast, we give it each due. That is the first time we're like, yeah, yeah, you problem, next. Arsehole. Yeah. Get rid of him yeah and then off we went shut that is why okay I've already again forgotten what we're doing I'm thinking fucking hell any doctors out there get her ordered a brain scan?

Honestly there's nothing wrong with my brain. Okay. I just need some vitamins. I've got vitamins. No I've got all my vitamins out this morning. Do you take them? Just look at them. This morning I got them out this morning. Yeah doesn't mean you took them. I'm missing vitamins. Doesn't mean you took them. No I didn't I got them out that's all I said. Yeah you think you took them? No, I didn't, I got them out, that's all I said. You think you took them and then you're like, I got them all out. What am I doing? Lined them up on the side and I'm like, must take those. Yeah, you're like, what am I doing?

Oh, must get that out as well, let's get all that out. And then I take that upstairs and now I've actually got wet washing sitting in my bathroom because I didn't hang it up because I took the other stuff up into my room and into my room. And I, don't come to my flat. Yeah, that's mine ain't much better. Although bit by bit I'm getting it's all moved.

All I've done is moved things around. When I got the tree out and I done the tree, I was like, this needs to go, that needs to go, this needs, and I started taking stuff back to the shed and all that. I've just got too much shit. I just need to be rich people. Like what's happening, yeah?

Bitch needs a full bed And I just need a cupboard. Yeah, I put my shit into yeah, I haven't even got a cupboard I mean that would make it better. But it's like every year I know I'll put out my shed every year put it all back neatly and by the next year It's just a shithole again where I'm scavenging through trying to find what I'm looking for Okay, anyway. Right. Am I overthinking?

Am I overthinking? Like, there's nothing, there's no overthinking. Not today, no. My, as in she, 27 female, boyfriend, 27 male, asked me to give away my pets in order to move in with him. Okay bye. Am I overreacting? Done. Thank you. Of breaking up with him over this. No. Right now no. Do we need to read this story? No. Should we move on? No, we're going to read the story. Okay, my boyfriend, John. Yeah, always a John in it.

Yeah, I already don't like him. And I have been together for about two issues. Yeah, get rid of him. I don't feel like I need to read the story. No, not when it comes to pets. And have known each other... I don't know. I was fucking weird! What was that? My boyfriend John and I have been together for about twoish years

and have known each other for three years total. The entire time we have known each other, I have lived alone in my own one bedroom apartment that I pay the rent and bills for completely on my own. He is a recovering addict. Oh, fuck it. I mean, it's just getting worse. It's getting worse. Got sober in 2020 and has been living in a sober living house and then with his good friend during our relationship. To say a relationship has been a tumulus, tumul, tumulus. Yeah tumultuous. Do you know what that one's saying? No. It is an understatement. I could probably write a 10-page essay explaining the numerous... numerous... that's not numerous, it's newness. Yeah, but she

means numerous. No, she doesn't because I looked up that word. What what does it mean? What does it mean? So it's like a dictionaryed so it's oh my brain don't even work and I'm trying to explain to you. We're doing am I overthinking? All right move on I don't care that much. Today this is about me. Yeah Yeah. Anyway, and details of our relationship. The things we have struggled with mainly revolve around how different we are from each other. Religiously, I'm agnostic and he is Christian. Politically, I'm sort of a political

and he is a conservative. I shouldn't be doing this today. a political and he is a conservative. I shouldn't be doing this today. He is sober and I am not, et cetera. This causes a lot of fights and arguments, but when we are not fighting, we get along great. He makes me laugh more than anyone I know, and there are things we love doing together, like going out to eat, watching movies etc.

I'm pretty sure you can do that with anybody. Yeah. Recently John has been talking about buying a house and I desperately want out of my apartment. I could not afford to buy a house completely on my own so we agreed we would be moving in together like we have been discussing for a while before he got serious about buying a home. Now here comes the biggest issue for me, backstory. I feel like she's already done that. I know. I have two cats, a bearded dragon and a leopard gecko that I love very much. I've had all of them for at least four years now. Last night we were discussing moving in together and he said, well, you know,

you will have to get rid of your lizards, right? I looked at him like he was crazy. He said, they are reptiles. They don't form a connection to humans. They won't even know you gave them away or something to that effect. I couldn't believe it. I told him absolutely not. I don't care if they are reptiles or not. I would never give them away. They are my responsibility and I would never trust someone else with them.

He explained further that if I'm going to be buying a house then I don't want a bunch of extra stuff in there. He also said they carry diseases. What the fuck? Did she say what the fuck or that's you? No she said. Oh okay yeah. Yeah yeah yeah. Anyway I explained to him. Yeah, what the fuck? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What the fuck? Yeah. Anyway. I explained to him today that he hurt me by even suggesting that, and he backed off a little, saying maybe he was in the wrong. I'm not sure. I have been struggling with this relationship for a long time, and this is feeling like a breaking point.

Even if he went back and said I could bring all my pets I know that it would cause issues in the in the future. Am I overreacting or am I in the right that his request was ridiculous? I feel that if he really knew me he would know that even struggling, even suggesting giving my pets away would never be an option. Forgot to mention earlier I would be splitting the monthly payment of the house with him. He would not be paying for anything while I lived there for free. Please be honest with me as I don't really have any friends to talk about stuff like this with

and I really need some outside perspectives. Just one edit I wanted to add I am not and would never consider giving up my pets for anyone. I am more asking for advice of what to do next, not if I should give them up or not. I told him I would never consider that. I'm not a shitty pet owner. Second update, we broke up. Oh, I'm sorry.

Ah, done. Okay, so before you read. He just called me over FaceTime and ended it. I'm in shock. He called her. He ended it with her. Right. So before you even read that, for me, the biggest part was I'm not buying a house to have loads of extra crap in. So it was always his house, whether she was contributing to the mortgage or not.

He, in his head, that's his house. Me, me, me. I wouldn't get rid of my animals. Go fuck yourself. I'm surprised she didn't break up with him. How annoying is that? Yeah, like she's in shock he broke up with her. I'm in shock he broke up with her. I'm happy that he broke up with her because he doesn't actually want to be with her because it's his house. I mean I think she it sounds like she had that toying in the back of her head anyway but you can't get rid of your anemones that means it's going to dictate your whole life together it's going to i don't want this so you're not allowed to do it i don't want that in my house my house my house that's all i could hear was him going it's mine it's mine well take your house shove it up your fucking arse and crack on. Isn't it? Yeah.

Top comment. This is not when you move in with someone. I wish more people understood that getting pets, moving in together, getting married, buying a house, or having children are not fixes for broken relationships. If anything, they add unnecessary layers of complexity. Am I saying that? Yeah, complexity. That word.

Yeah. Resentment, trauma and complications to the disillusion of the relationship. Getting married to or having children with someone who doesn't like you isn't going to make them like you or love you. You can't fix them if they don't want to fix themselves. I promise they may be a brief euphoria but you can very easily turn into resentment. Do you know what we didn't discuss as well? The fact that he is a former addict. So I think any sleep up is gonna be her fault because she kept the lizards any sleep up is your fault because it's my house like that is what the story gives to me is that he is very I'm okay with

them being different because you know in some instances opposites do attract but for me it's she's saying they were having rows over their differences right so from their religion to she has a drink and he doesn't like she should have to give everything up yeah because he can't control his... Different politics I mean I mean I don't think me and Paul in our whole year 20 marriage plus have ever spoken about politics in fact last year was the first year I've ever voted and I voted for Wossi's face I want to say it's like Nigel. Can't help ya. The one that was like I don't know what you're asking. Fack you all and I was like yeah let's just do him not who's in charge now he's a right fucking knob

but I don't really care because they're all knobs do you know what I mean yeah so I feel like already they're so different that I just don't know if it would work anyway yeah I feel like maybe they were together because she's like I can fix him yeah and actually just fix yourself but I feel like her coming and saying all that she's like yeah you know I can part with that but when it comes to the animal she's like hold on a minute, you've got to be joking if any although obviously I'm married if anyone's like you've got to get rid of your dog or the cats no like she said they're my responsibility I got those animals yeah although I'd be devastated so my name did a tea about my neighbor's cat

yeah right so I just found out that apparently there's an update there's an update on the golf course they use mole killer they sprinkle it I looked it up actually illegal right so they spray it. I've been told they shoot the foxes as well, which surely firearms are illegal and killing foxes should be illegal. They might have a license for that. They might have a whole license because it's a golf course, but anyway apparently my neighbor, Sack, said that when they sprinkle it, it absorbs into the water. He could have licked it and... Oh, that's rude.

Because we don't know why he died. I mean, he could have been ill, he could have had cancer, we don't know because obviously she didn't have the cat all toxied, but it's made me... And then I'm like, could that be a thing? Because obviously I've got four cats and I've been here getting on seven years and they

would probably do it every year. I don't know, it's just the way he died was so weird that it bothers me. But anyway, yeah, yeah, my animals like I'd be devastated. I'm telling you, I would never get rid of them. Anyway, was she overthinking? No, no, he's a Greek, he's a red flag. Yeah, massive red flag. Verdict deserves Lego. Streets paved with it.

Sorry, what do you think? No, I don't think she's overthinking that at all. He beat her to the punch, really, didn't he? I wonder why? He probably read her reddit bitch yeah she was never gonna do she was told no I feel like she always did as she was told and then when the animals brought up that was a hard line I do I feel like she did it she was no see I'm thinking that actually she was quite easy going

but push back a bit but he was almost testing if she gives up her animals knowing full well how much she cares for them and that was like a hard line. He now knows where he would stand with her. Yeah animals come. How far can I push her, control her, keep her? Close that door. Right, are we ready? Always. Am I overthinking? Probably. Ring guilt is ruining what should be a happy time. I am having such weak feelings about my ring. Me? Me? No? I don't know what that noise was. I am having such... And what ring was it? Right, sorry.

What ring? Yeah, I'm having such mixed feelings about my ring and proposal and yet I feel so guilty for not being 100% over the moon. Last month my fiancé took me ring shopping and let me pick out my dream ring. I only found out as he was paying for it that he was putting about 50% on his credit card and that he already had 2000 on his credit cards as well. So I'm assuming a different credit card. Oh no, sorry, he already had 2000, I'm assuming in debt on his credit cards as well.

Five days after he brought the ring, but before he popped the question, he was unfortunately let go from his job. Within 24 hours, he had managed to find a part-time work to hold him over while he job hunts. But that is proving to be extremely inconsistent and he is still actively looking for something more permanent. In the meantime he has proposed in the way that was also obviously very pricey which he admitted he had in the work since he had brought the ring. The proposal was extremely sweet, thoughtful and beautiful and I truly love the way he did it. My ring is

my dream ring and I absolutely love it as well but I feel so guilty about the price tag now that he is out of a job. I have gotten a bunch of judgmental looks and comments from people when I tell them I picked it out as well. It is definitely not small but also not huge. The centre stone is 2 carat lab diamond and the total weight is 2.6 carats. I can only imagine how big that is. Fucking rock. Like yours. Rock. Or more like that. I reckon possibly a bit bigger. I do as well. My sister kept insisting that it is a Mosinite and I kept correcting her that I am sure it

was a diamond but she thinks I am lying. Not that there is anything wrong with Mosinite of course, that is just not what the stone is. I found I am frustrated that she insists that I am lying about something like that. The ring that I started out loving is now making me feel materialistic and greedy. My fiance is also starting to mention how financially strapped he is feeling, which isn't helping with my guilt at all. I have offered to go and return or exchange my ring for something more modest, but he refuses because he knows how much I

love it. At this point, I don't even know what to do. I want to be happy that I am engaged to a sweet, loving, caring man who I love. I want to be thrilled that I got my dream ring and a romcom worthy proposal. I just feel so guilty and partly responsible for him being so financially strapped. But at the same time, I am frustrated that the circumstances is stealing my joy and happiness at this time. I just don't know what to do or how to feel anymore and I needed to get it off of my chest somewhere. Eww. Yeah. It's a bit of a toughie.

That's where I was. But, Pottie me is like, do you know what, you've said I'll get something small, I'll get something more, and he's like, absolutely not. Because he quite clearly wants you to be happy too. Of course.

But I feel like I would be like no like I don't need this as much as I wanted it. Yeah. I don't need this and I've got the memories of how I was proposed. Right. I don't know. This is tricky. Is she gonna get the same amount of money back for the rim? If that is what she says it is, that diamond will not go down in price. Even though it's lab grown? It wouldn't go down in price. Okay, so top comment. I'm sorry that you're both going through this, but know that almost everyone is feeling the

crunch right now. Most jewelers will not give the full value on returns. Have you inquired with the jeweller about their policy? Number three, if your jeweler is willing to give you full or near full value for the return maybe you could have them return recreate the ring with motor night or white sapphire once you're both more financially stable you could have the stone replaced again with the diamond that's not bad I thought that was a good idea I read that yesterday that's quite nice I don't think she's overthinking. I think she should be overthinking.

And- It probably doesn't help that she's got people on her. Like her sister's telling her that her diamond's not a real diamond. And it's winding her up, but she should pay. That probably comes more down to jealousy than actually I think she should be worried about. Yeah, because does it matter?

No, mind your business. Yeah, it doesn't matter whether it's real diamonds, fake diamonds. It really doesn't matter. It's who you're marrying and those are the reasons. But it sounds like she's got a really good fella. And I think unless they absolutely have to, she should hang on to the ring like he wants her to. Yeah.

And then go from there. Yeah, because I think he'd get a job. Yeah. So yeah, I was like, I like that. Just don't fuck him over later on because he sounds like a good egg. He does sound like a good egg. Right. Yeah, that was a, I thought that was quite a cute one. That's quite nice yeah but it's a shame other people are. I don't know why I feel so out of breath. Right I've got a shorter one and a longer one. Okay just waiting for it to load. And my neighbours are in.

Damn it. It's not as bad as it used to be. Remember? Yeah. Yeah, we're there to go. But still. But it used to go through me. I know, I always like that. It's where I was like, oh. All the effort. Yeah, you're gonna have to be here. Hello!

Why are they so evening? I don't know. Banana baby. Banana? That was random. Banana baby, banana beginner, banana enthusiast. Banana? I don't know why. Banana? Alright, so this one has also come under Am I the arsehole. Right. For telling my mum I will buy my own dress after she called me fat. That's rude. Isn't it? Okay. I mean I already don't think there's been any overthinking here.

No. Ah! We're quick with our decisions today. Yeah. Yes. No. No. So far we're like no you're today. Yeah. Yes, no. No. So far we're like, no, you're not overthinking. Get rid.

Hi, 19 female. 19. No, no. And your mum's like, you're fat, bitch. Having a wedding to attend, that is of some friends of my boyfriend. My mum, 51 female, offered to help me get ready. For context, my mum is gorgeous.

She used to be a model. She has always been incredibly beautiful and she has an awesome body. My two brothers, 33 and 31, take after her and they are both handsome men. I am the only daughter and as such I think she expected someone like her. I am not like her. I was very thin when I was a kid but I was a tomboy and hated everything feminine. Then puberty hit and I gained a lot of

weight I'm not obese but I am your average chubby person 77 kilograms at 165 centimeters overweight but not overly so I guess also I don't look a lot I don't look a lot after myself in the sense that I don't really go out of my way to do skincare, makeup, etc. She's only 12 stone. How tall did she say she was? Where has it gone? 165.

I think she's about my height. 165, I'm going to height. 165, I'm gonna say centimeters. Yeah, centimeters. 54, she's mine. Just over 54. Yeah, that's not awful, is it? No. My mum, that's the right pitch.

I love my mum and she does truly love me, but she isn't a kind person. Although my teenage, because she's hungry. All through my teenage years, she made a lot of harsh comments about my appearance and my weight. I am a sensitive person,

so this used to affect me a lot. I can usually take criticism fairly enough if it's phrased nicely but I can't take it if there's even a hint of mockery or meanness in it. Anyway, it's not that big a deal now. Years back I was honest with my mum that her comments really affected my self esteem and she seemed to tone it down. Occasionally she would still do it but not as often. She just can't help herself. I think it's her way of showing love but it makes me hate myself. When I'm next to her she will scan my face for pimples and if she finds one she will actively ignore me to pop them.

Or I will be doing something alone and she will come over to comment that my hair looks bad and I need to use this different product or I will be walking and she will comment that my belly is large and I should go to the gym. Things like that. I know that they aren't bad but I can't take it. They aren't bad. It's really bad. So bad. In the situation at hand, she was giving me dresses to use to the wedding. We have always shared dresses, so this isn't new. She's taller, remember? One of the dresses she lent me was one that she used two years ago at my graduation.

I put it on and it was pretty tight. Her and my aunt tried to force it closed but it was a struggle. I said that they should stop but they continued to force it and the zipper basically broke down completely. When it happened my mum blurted out, wow you really are fat. My aunt burst out laughing and started teasing me about being chubby. I just kept silent. My God! We tried on a few more dresses. I chose a pretty one that fit well and was elastic. And that was that. Then afterwards my mum asked me if I really had been going to the gym

and said that I would have to suck my belly in during the wedding so it didn't show so much in the dress I picked. I got fed up and told her that I was sick of her comments and would buy my own dress to go. Mum thinks I blew up at her for nothing and am about to spend money over a tantrum. My siblings think I'm being dramatic and that I'm just mad I'm fat. My friends and boyfriend think think I'm right. Am I the arsehole? Your whole family is super fucking toxic and I'll tell you what the problem is your mum's so fucking hungry that she has forgotten

what it's like to eat food, enjoy food and not worry about what other people think. Can you imagine your whole life having a parent be like, you're fat, you're disgusting, do your hair the way you want, they're really toxic. It's bad isn't it? And your brothers are like that as well. Yeah because obviously they've never received the criticism. So growing up they've watched her get the criticism and that's been alright. And the auntie as well. She's got nobody on her side going, come on calm down, leave her, leave her. But that just tells me that they're all used to it.

She's 19. Yeah, I just feel like she's even gonna get a eating disorder or she's gonna end up cutting them all off. Not everyone has to be like skinny and anorexic and that is also okay as well by the way. If you're a skinny person you want to be that's great. If you're a bigger person and you're happy that way that's great. You can't have her own mum.

Like she's literally got no one to turn to. No. Luckily, her friends and her boyfriend are on her side. Yeah. But still, yeah, it's so bad. I can't believe it. I think it's really upsetting. Why try and force her into a dress? Oh my god, you're so fat. Imagine saying that to someone.

It would be like, right, probably not this one. Take one off. Let's try a different one yeah just make sure that she looks flattering in what she why does she have to always use hair clothes i just can't yeah no top comment oh does it say your mum's a cunt they say i'm tired today uh Not an arsehole, you are an adult now. You have mistakenly convinced yourself that you set a boundary and that toning it down was good enough. Boundaries aren't cross my line-less. Boundaries are don't cross my line at all. Right. You need to make that clearer. Years back you negotiated your boundary as a child, it's time to do it again as an adult.

OP says thank you for the judgment. She's asking people to judge. Yeah, it's just kind of a hard, hard to set, hard boundary when it comes to parents. I had to do, oh, um, is it the same person actually? No, somebody else then said, I had to do those with my mother. The boundary was that every time she made any comment on my way, no matter what the comment was, that she wouldn't hear from me for a full month she stopped after one one enforcement there you go I mean

that's pretty it's not just that is this girl is gonna grow up and have children and if any of them are big that is when the I reckon because she's so tolerant of it what the breaking point is gonna be when the grandma comes for the kids or those boys... She'll be like your mum. Yeah, or those boys who are perfect as she said are gonna have children that obviously are genetically different and then she's gonna come for them and they're gonna be like, whoa That's what's gonna happen because it's like a cycle that just continues

Yeah, I know. No, you're not overthinking it darling. Go buy your dress. Yeah. And pick something that you actually want to wear. And anyone that really loves you will tell you if that dress and that don't look right. Those are the people that you listen to, not someone that's like, oh my god, you're not as skinny as me. You're not perfect. Right. And set that solid boundary as well.

Yeah, 100%. Right, this is a very long one but I enjoyed it okay okay caught my 20 male girl but caught my 20 male girlfriend 20 female texting her ex. Okay? Okay. Yeah, you with it? Yeah, you're not overthinking. Yeah. Right. Next. Summarised. I, 20 male found texts on my girlfriend's 20 female phone to her ex after she told me that she had stopped texting him. We've been together for two and a half years now. I've lost my trust in her for context. This ex is the first everything. First boyfriend, first kiss, first bedroom experience, first heartbreak. She even revenge cheated on her other sexual abusive ex with this guy. She says that after they broke it off they were better as friends and I could completely understand that. Except for the fact that

I can tell he doesn't want to be just that. They broke it off like six or seven years ago and since then he periodically appears back in her life for like three months and then goes back into hiding. I am taking, I am talking, liking all her stories on Instagram, communicating and liking on all of her posts, sending random memes without any context. on all of her posts, sending random memes without any context. At first I didn't think anything of it but there's been these past few months it's getting more and more on my nerves now. She at one point put her Instagram account on my phone because she forgot she forgot it a lot meaning that I would get her messages and notifications as well. While I'm at work, I got like 50 plus messages in the span of an hour. Apparently they had

a full blown conversation over literally nothing, which a shitty day at work plus constantly seeing him interacting with her all day and her interacting back with him equals a very irritated me. So like an idiot such as myself I brought it up in an angry tone and caused an argument about it, which ended in her saying that she won't talk to him anymore and tried to ignore his texts on Instagram, followed up with her being mad at me for about two weeks that I had angered her. Flash forward a few months and things have been rocky. Some days are absolutely great, other days I feel like if I breathe in the wrong way she will rip my head off, which sometimes I don't blame her. She's in college and trying to achieve academic honours and me, a non-college student, can assume it is

very stressful. After arguments here and there, I take a trip with my family for a week and we text and call every day how we miss each other. I come back and things go back to normal until our two and a half year mark hits. Normally, I would take her out each month and we'd have a whole day with just us being together. Well, this month she had a Halloween party with her best friends on our pacific day which I wasn't too upset about. I don't normally get days off just to myself. We get lunch and then we depart. She rides with her best friend while I drive to meet my family.

Six hours she was she was at this party and I didn't get a single text nor a call which I thought was weird but again don't think too much of it at the time. She called me at 1am saying that she was at home and she was going to sleep. I asked her how it was and she fills me in on some stuff that had happened and other stuff that was called blah blah blah. We exchanged goodnights and I love you and that's that. Exactly three days past I'm getting antsy at this point. Throughout the week I found her phone and opened it to spam photo with dumb faces of mine. When she finally saw that I had her phone, she snatched it out of my hand with a grip

of God. I thought it was super suspicious because normally we don't care if we were on each other's phones or not. Well three days after the party I finally got a got a lone moment with her phone and decided that I... what is she actually trying to hide from me? A Christmas gift, some surprise, she was in the process of giving me and didn't want me to find out. Well after nothing interesting I go on Instagram and there it is a mile long text thread of her ex and her spit balling about absolutely nothing and everything daily might I add like probably a week after we had our first argument about him, I scroll through the messages and

find messages of them while she was at the Halloween party. Not so he's just a friend messages either. I will summarize the good bits because I don't know how to insert pictures. Right, ready? Her talking about alcohol, drinks, she's having, she's having at this party. X. That sounds good. Girlfriend. It's so good. X. That and some head. I'd sleep well at night. emoji. Laughing my ass off girlfriend. I am down to give some head laughing my ass off.

Ex please laughing my ass off. But if you give a mouse a cookie, I don't really understand that. Girlfriend, I'm down, ex. If you come up to my city, he lives in on your own sometime, you're welcome to spend some time here. That also, they also hearted each other's messages at the end. Fast forward to me talking about more drinks that she's having. X. I'd be arsed at making that though.

If you come visit we can have some drinks if you'd like. Girlfriend, oh I want to drink with you. X. It would be fun. Let me move that. It would be fun. Well don't go crazy out there girlfriend but enjoy wink face. Girlfriend I want to fuck laughing my ass off. You're telling me I

need to fuck. Girlfriend sends him a picture of her at the party. You look great. Now back to reality. I kind of skimmed through the rest and not much more was said, but that's all that I needed to be said. She noticed me on her phone and started to get upset. Then I showed her the messages between them and that I was pissed. Her face sort of changed to match my anger

as she asked if we could talk about it outside, away from earshot of my family. A very long conversation later, I got the answer as to why she sent those messages. I can't tell if she's being genuine or reaching for her ex. She stated that she was drunk when she sent those and felt disgusting after she came to her senses and realized what she had done but didn't know right away why or how to bring it up to me.

She then went to explain that at the party her best friend got the bartender's number. She threw her best mate under the bartender's number in a way of rubbing it in her face that they have a long history of competing with one another, stuff like academics, relationships, achievements. But one that hurts my girlfriend the most is how effortlessly her best friend can get people attracted to her. After her friend robbed getting the bartender's number in her face, my girlfriend felt unwanted and chose to message her ex, which of course he gave her exactly what she wanted at the time, the desire to be wanted. I asked if I was going, if I was

doing something wrong and not showing her enough affection, which she said no. No yelling back and forth occurred and towards the end of the conversation, I generally just wanted to leave and be alone. But she didn't want me to leave until we concluded things better. Long story short, we came to a conclusion that she fucked up, swore she would block him, her ex, and never talk to him again.

And also work on her affection showing towards me and our relationship. Last paragraph. So far she has followed through with her words that same week my childhood cat had, the same week my childhood cat had to be euthphonized and she sat through it with me. I am very grateful about her being there and showing me more affection. But deep down I am overthinking when it comes to our relationship. My brain can't help it but think that she is only showing more affection and being more lovey-dovey with me because she got caught out with her ex. What do you think? I know it was long but

I enjoyed that. Get rid of her. Oh my god that's exactly what I said. In the bath. Get rid of her. Yeah. She's got a fella. Like, if you wanted to feel attractive, you could have done all of that with your fella. He's a backup plan. He's complete backup plan. He is a backup plan. I'll stay with you till my ex wants to be back. It's just ridiculous. And the thing is, her actual fella thinks that the ex does want her back.

He does want her back for 20 minutes. Yeah. The 20 minutes has been generous. Yeah that's that's getting there and getting there. Yeah that's the 15 minute drive. Yeah no he needs to call that a day. Do you think that she's blocked him? No me neither No, I'm not being funny. It's not hard to unblock send a message and then reblock. Yeah and delete now delete The amount of deleted messages in that thread. I do not trust that fucking bitch What I don't know she gets jealous over how easy Her mate can be a slut. What made me... I'm so jealous. So the constant talking every day would actually fuck me off I'm not gonna lie like besties but I'd be alright like what I don't like is then they went

sexual. It's just unnecessary. Yeah. Especially when actually her fella's going I ain't out from her. Yeah. Well no of course you haven't because she's literally spent all night messaging her ex. Yeah. Yeah. No that's not okay. No yeah I agree with you. I think so the top comment is this is a serious problem. I can't yeah I can't say that I give you better chance than 50-50. Which is true right? I mean he's done a really long paragraph. But you know there's no point in reading it because we've literally said the same.

But I like he's like give you 50-50 because I just don't think that randomly messaging this bloke you can excuse that with my friend got chatted up so I ended up going up to his area like he'd never trusted to go up to his area oh me and my best mate are going out in this area and he truth is if she goes to the area, she's going to fuck him. Yeah, of course she is. Yeah. Which will happen. If he says, I'll take you back, that's what would happen.

100%. Oh, sweetheart. Get out. Yeah. Are you overthinking it? No, you're not. You're really not. You need to get out of that.

That's bullshit. I'm with you. I think that she is only gonna break... she's just not as dedicated to him as he is to her and however upsetting that is, is the reality. Long run is a fucking blessing. Yeah. Because he's gonna get hurt and I think that's really sad because he's like completely invested she goes on a night out and my gets chatted up and she's all like I love me I hopped on a bus by accident and ended up I did I don't know how it happened he fell right so what happened is I went in to have a cup of tea he tricked put the tea down the side as he fell whilst he was falling these

trousers fell down my knickers came off and his dick landed inside of me. Ta da! It's a Christmas miracle! It wasn't my fault! It wasn't my fault! I didn't know I was drunk! I didn't know the 154 went right outside the house and you get all escorted inside yeah I don't he didn't I didn't know how he knew I was gonna be on that bus yeah and as the man escorted me inside I was like oh my god is this where you live? I recognise this place Yeah. I didn't know! Anyway. No, bed. Go. Bed. As she backs out like a weirdo. Bed. Don't look at me. I said bed and you didn't listen so she has to tell you. This is her Smiles. Smiles. Smiles. Smiles. Smiles. Smiles. Smiles.

Smiles. Smiles. Smiles. Smiles. Smiles. Smiles. Smiles. Smiles.

Smiles. Smiles. Smiles. Smiles. Smiles. Smiles. Smiles. Smiles.

Smiles. Smiles. Smiles. Smiles. Smiles. Smiles. Hi! Hi! I, 23 Mal, have been on my first date in five years, last Tuesday with a girl I met on my classes. On my classes? Yeah, at my classes. With you, my classes. And it was a great night. We had a great time and even talked about going out more later. We haven't kissed yet but it's all really sweet so far. Things have been going pretty natural so far and then out of out of a sudden, all of a sudden, yeah, I got pretty anxious last Friday and when I say anxious I really mean it. Suddenly I started over thinking things like maybe I'm texting too much I think I'm boring her or I've got to get a second date fast otherwise she's gonna lose interest and she didn't really send me anything

so am I doing something wrong? I think I had a panic attack on Saturday over this thinking that I was texting too much. I feel so silly and pathetic because I know that things are actually going well and that we're getting along and having fun. I know that she's talking back and that she's a bit shy too, but we're connecting more and more. And I know that I have charisma, I ain't bad looking, or yeah I ain't bad looking, and that I can make her laugh. I still get these panic attacks out of nowhere when chatting through text. I hate myself for it because it means myself, it might, I don't know. It's something his bad, his self-confidence,

it knocks his bad, his confidence. Why keep saying bad? I don't know. And it really is only over texting. What can I do to work around that? How can I stop overthinking this so much? Do you guys have any tips or habits that I can build on to overcome it? I think the panic which is cute, I think that all you can do is let time go on in the relationship if there is going to be one and you will start to chill out a bit more. I think that's quite common isn't it when you're in a relationship, beginning of a relationship, beginning of a friendship, anything and you're like oh my god, oh my god. I'm too much. When we started the podcast, I'm still now, I'm like oh my god Emily, like when we were on a Davey A Talks podcast I was so worried that I was gonna over talk

you because I talk too much and I was like in my head the whole time I'm like make sure you let Emily speak and it's not let Emily speak yet because I for me especially the more nervous I get the more you know so I'm not nervous at the moment so yeah exactly so I think overthinking is a natural... It is massively. Yeah and I think you're really cute. I thought it was really sweet. He's really cute. So my top comment says, sounds like the evidence you have all suggests that she likes you and it's going well and that's great. Try not to think yourself into believing otherwise. I'd suggest thinking of it less like building something with her or working towards some imagined outcome and more like nurturing a

connection that has come naturally along your own path and being grateful that she's part of it now. your own path and being grateful that she's part of it now. It's tough when you're so into someone but trying not to prioritize her over your own life and your feelings, goals and needs. A lot of the anxiety might come from misdirected attention towards her when it has more appropriate and direct applications for your own stuff. The person you are and the path you are on are what brought you together in the first place. An OP replied saying that's neat to see it more as a nurturing connection that I made. I like this perspective.

Thanks for your wise counsel, friend. Yeah, I think he's super cute and it's like, he is overthinking, it's not his fault. Someone says, lol, I'm 19 and going through the same thing all the time, don't worry, it's normal. It is normal. It is massively normal. I was just like, ah, it's short, it's sweet.

I thought that was quite cute. It's nice that it was a young lad rather than... Yeah, a young girl. Yeah. Yeah. Like always, I was thinking like... It just goes to show, it's the same. Does he like me? Maybe I should sit on him already and like, no, relax while you're in me. It's the same. It's like, it's the same. Whoever you are, whatever you're doing, anything new is always led with overthinking because you're getting to know the person. You don't know what their boundaries are, what they're like, but you will because he

sounds like a bit of a keeper, doesn't he? Yeah. Right, are we good to go? Yeah. Okay, does my boyfriend love porn more than me? When I read the title, it actually made me feel like this is up your alley. It's only ever since we've done that. Up my alley? Yeah, when we've done that podcast. Yeah, love a bit of porn, me. Yeah. What?

Anytime I hear porn, because you find a lot- You think of me? Yeah, you feel like gross stories as well. They're like, but, but. You like a butt story. I do. I'm the butt story, but it's like after we done that, slightly confessions, and all the time I hear porn,

I'm like, hee hee hee, Emily, hee hee hee. Right. So, because there were a couple on here, I'm like, no, I'm not reading that. Oh. Okay. Right, anyway, does my boyfriend love porn more than me? I, female, 23, had been with my boyfriend for 2 and a

half years. Oh fuck off. I have been... Why can't no one get past this point? Well some may get to seven. I have now been in love with someone, I've never been in, not now, I've never been in love with someone before and I truly mean this man is my soul mate oh young love we watch when we when we touch it feels like I'm floating a heartbeat sink please don't make this a long one. Fucking hell. It gets better. When I first started

reading it. You probably don't read after that. I would have turned that one on. Nope. I started reading before I saved because I'm like now I've got to delete it. Yeah anyway. They're happy, they're happy to sink. Right. And it's like we share the same mind throughout our relationship he's always been super affectionate and obsessive with me not in a bad way a year ago he broke up with me uh out of out of the blue he told me it was for multiple different reasons, but one of the reasons being he wanted to have sex with other people. I feel like that blows your soul mate for me. Anyway, it was very traumatic having someone I love so much break up with me without any

warning. He soon changed his mind and begged for me back for six months until I finally realized that he was my soulmate and I'd never have this connection I have with him with somebody else. The last six months of us being back together have been amazing. We're honest, we honestly have been closer than ever. Up until recently I've noticed the affection slowly becoming less and we barely have sex anymore. He made a comment about him going through my phone a few weeks ago which I don't mind but it gave me an idea to go through his phone. I noticed he is

constantly on cam sites looking at only fan leaks. This made me feel some type of way as he is looking at so much of it so often. In the past we have discussed what we are and aren't comfortable with when it comes to these sort of things. I feel watching porn is normal and it's just when it becomes too personal in where I have a problem. For example, messaging sex workers, getting custom content and spending money to the point where the bills aren't being paid in where is where I draw the line. Is that where she's at? Yeah. I went through East Bank information as well as checking the cam sites looking for proof of how much he is spending. I unfortunately was not able to find any evidence of payments but he could be putting it on one of his credit cards.

So I decided to confront him on the whole situation and he automatically got super defensive about it. I assured him I wasn't mad, I was just concerned about how much he was spending and just in the type of porn that he is watching. It makes me feel a bit uncomfortable because it's live so he can interact with the models and pay for their services on there without me knowing. He kept assuring me that he didn't spend money and he didn't

interact and there is no different from watching porno videos on Pornhub. He's just not in the mood to go on Pornhub. I told him he doesn't have to lie to me that I'd seen that he had paid for some stuff as recently as a month ago. I thought I might have saw a transaction so I was trying to get him to admit it. After a little bit of back and forth he admitted he had paid for a folder of discord that had a ton of OnlyFan leaks. I also told him I felt like we don't have sex as much anymore and I'm always trying,

but he never wants to. His response was, we are having sex every day, but it's more like once a week. And half of the time he doesn't come. After we discussed this a bit more he told me he doesn't care about porn and it's really not a big deal. I gave it a few days before I went back for his phone and nothing has changed. Then this morning he had been in the bathroom with the shower running for about an hour. When I

opened the door I caught him jerking off and he immediately got irritated and told me I need to knock before entering the bathroom while he's in there. He never knocks on the door before entering while I'm in the bathroom. I'm just feeling very indifferent about this situation like I feel like him watching porn is not necessarily the problem. It's the type of content that he is watching. I just don't understand why he needs it so badly when he has me. And it's not like I'm vanilla in any way. I let him know that I'm down to try anything he wants.

And I also sent him nudes. I'm not sure how to proceed from here. Do I ignore it and not bring it up again? Should I bring it up? I don't want to come off controlling. I just feel he's starting to love porn more than me and maybe I'm overthinking it and causing issues in our relationship since we broke up. Since he broke up with me around this time last year. If I could please get some advice on my situation, thank you.

And go. I think there possibly is an addiction there. That's where my brain went. I don't quite understand the addiction. Me neither. I've never really sort of looked it up or read up on it. Me neither. I mean Paul's alright but...

Yeah, it's not life. But for some people it really is. Maybe it's part of like actually the watching of it so maybe it's not the having sex part it's the like the watching. For me I think because this is a new wave porn isn't it this only fans I think because you're paying and you're interacting and you can be like finger yourself his £10. I mean that's cheaply get one say him. I'm like no yeah. I don't actually know. Yeah but we're thinking about it. Yeah so I think that she's right that is more concerning that he is not just

watching porn off what was it Pornhub? Pornhub is what she said. He is finding only fan models and he's interacting. It's the interaction. I don't think these are real people. Yeah. I think you can actually then request the same people or use their same page. Oh, I think she's soulmate,

but I don't think he sees her like that at all. No. Not even a little bit. No. And he's bored already. They've only been together two and a half years, barely two and a half years. They split up for six months of that. So yeah.

It's a get out of there. Your soulmate is addicted to porn. Invested into somebody else's soul. Yeah. Yeah. Like he's paying them. Yeah. I've read a story before like that and I just think, I just think it's not gonna work out. No. Because he's got a bad addiction and you are gonna be bothered all the time. I mean you can say it's not real life but it is because they are real, you are really

interacting. It's not like watching a porn video is it it? No, you potentially would have heard their voice. I wonder why he's not coming when he's having it. Unless he is that addicted to porn that he can't release. Maybe it is the watching. Not the actual physical. It's the... Watching someone being told what to do and when to do it. Yeah, maybe it's that. Because if he ain't coming then he is not mentally satisfied during the sex because it's a mental thing for men and women like when we're completely comfortable and relaxed we will orgasm. When a man is coming he will

come. So there's way more going on than he might actually need like psychological help. I think there's definitely addiction. 100% especially if he's not coming but yeah he'll go into the bathroom when he's able to release in there. But is he releasing because he's been in there for an hour? Yeah it does take an hour does it? I don't know. Maybe he is like he does need some help. I don't know. I think it's what she's willing to put up with or not. I think it's quite concerning when they're a young couple. I don't feel like that's your soul mate. I feel like a young couple to not be like bunny rabbits is weird as well isn't it? I don't know.

Okay, last one finishes off. Take us home. Okay, so this one is about a ring as well. Okay. So my husband, 26th. Like a pearl necklace? No. Male. Thinks I, 24, female and being petty over a ring. Okay. Backstory. I wanted a gold solitaire ring and hinted that, and hinted that to my husband on multiple occasions. He proposed with a silver diamond band ring with a centre stone and a halo. I later realised it is so his mum's personality. Style. I'm going with style in my head. Okay. My mother-in-law got a ring similar to mine around the time my husband proposed to me

and shows everyone her ring when the moment was for me and my husband. I married her favorite son, she has three, he is the middle child and she spoils him rotten. She wears it on her right hand until about two weekends ago it was on her left hand. No, she had a wedding band and a huge engagement ring. My feelings are hurt because my husband went ring shopping for me and chose something for his mum's approval. He did not keep my dream ring in mind. My husband calls me petty and says,

I am being ridiculous. Am I being petty? It's an update. Okay. Er, yeah, you're being a bit petty. Don't you think she is? I think she's being a bit petty. Maybe.

I find it bizarre that mum also received a ring and was wearing it on her left hand. That's nothing to do with him that she switched it over to her left hand, is it? It's nothing to do with him. He got her a ring, he saw a ring and he was like, I'm gonna get that for my fiancee, I'm gonna get that for my mum. Men are not as complicated as going into, I want to marry my mum. She's pushing it. Get it? He's cleaning her mum's boy. It just seems a bit peculiar that mum would have a se... or he would get her a ring similar to what her mum wears. Probably is.

It is just a bit bizarre. Maybe she's been a bit overthinking of it. I think she's over fit. I think yes, he's probably he knows his mum tastes better than he knows his fiance's tastes and he's gone with his mum's taste as a safe bet but he is not thinking what would my mum like. He's just not. I just don't believe that he is because even though he's a mummy's boy I don't believe that's where his brain is he is just maybe she went with him and how exactly you know I just think she's I don't think she's completely in the wrong and I do think it's a precedent of when I have kids you know where does where do I fit in is it is it mum kids then me and you see what I mean

I get there's there's gonna be problems here But I think just be grateful for your ring on here the update. Okay update This happened a year ago and I attempted to post it This past summer, but I couldn't figure out Reddit. Had to make a new account with a certain surname so I copied and pasted my original post. He dropped the ring off to get a trade in value at the jewelers. He was very unhappy about it. They ended up trading the unwanted band for a solitaire set up and they moved his grandmother's stone to the new ring. It is still silver because I met in the middle

and did not get rid of the silver wedding band that was used at our wedding. I didn't pay attention to his mum's similar ring at first until after we were married and I began to notice the similarities. That was the poor observation. That was poor observation for me. So now you just changed the whole fucking my fault process because that's his grandma's stone. She didn't mention anything about grandma's. She did not say that is fault. So yes, she is overthinking.

He has tried to be really sweet here babe. And she is like, it's not good enough. It's not good enough. Your mum's got it. It's not good enough. So it is her. I was right. Now it's the grandmother's stone

wow yeah that's really sad she is she he's a mummy's boy and now anything similar she's spotting she didn't notice it before you see it's nuts isn't it yeah but I told you I've just had that feeling that he wasn't yes. He's a mummy's boy Nobody's saying he ain't but he wasn't to the point where my mom's got it. So you're having it. He actually used the stones What's the top comment? Chill the fuck out is the problem he picked out the ring his mom wanted not his wife Or is the problem he chooses his mum over you in other ways but the ring is an easy object, the objective thing to throw

your ear? What was that? Yeah, she means focus on, I understand what she's trying to say. Rather than admitting there's a big problem with your husband. There you go. Exactly what I just, yeah, so he's a mummy's boy. So she's picking the ring as the problem, when actually he's a mummy's boy.

Opie says, it feels like a mixture. That situation was the big eye-opener for me. And then someone else says says don't marry a momma's boy don't do it you want to come second until she dies because that is what is in store. There you go. It won't end if she dies if someone says yep. Then your second place to rose-tinted memories. All of Opie's other posts which have all been made within the past 24 hours, three different scenarios posted multiple times across different groups, seem to centre around issues with her mother-in-law.

Told ya. So he, before they got married he was all like, don't, don't, don't. He's got married, he's chilled out, he's now showing who he really is, which is a mummy's boy, and now every single little thing she's noticing. That's all that's happening. She said before we got married I didn't notice that we had the same ring. And now all of a sudden you've like, oh my god, oh my god. Unless the mum wore the ring with the grandma stones in, he's giving it to his wife, because he's like, mum, can I have that ring? I'd really love.

No, mum wasn't wearing it. Mum had it on her right hand and then. A similar one, yeah. Moved it to her left hand, which is her wedding ring. Yeah. Finger. I'm not saying that it's weird.

I'm telling you, the problem here is he's a mummy's boy. Yeah. And now every little thing, wait till they have kids. She'll be back here going should I get divorced and we'll be reading it. I remember you. You're like bird with the ring. So she took it too far. She took it too far by having the ring changed just because the mum's a bit of a psycho Changing the ring is not gonna change the fact that the mum's a psycho It's just not initially if she's already him that she wanted a gold band single solitaire I Mean that must be so much fucking easier to find and buy than what he's my my wedding ring and

my Engagement ring my first day're in my jewelry box. My engagement ring is white gold. My original one. Yeah, no mines yellow gold. And it was from a secondhand shop and I know it was because I saw it in a window and it literally was, if we ever got married that's what I want you to propose to me. Ha ha ha ha. And I keep proposed like within six months. Have you sold your ring? No. literally was whoever got married that's what I want you to propose with. Ha ha ha ha.

And I keep proposed like within six months. Did you set up your ring? No. You've kept it. I've got my original. Because actually that's probably the first and last time he actually listened to anything I said. It's hilarious. I chose my engagement ring.

And then because he wanted me to have a certain type of band, he then had an engagement ring, like a second ring put in with that. So then I had two new rings. So my brother had the engagement ring made for Hayley and then they had the wedding ring made so it's sit perfectly with the stones which I thought was really cute. No, my wedding band went with my ring it was a V because obviously then the diamonds because it had I think it was 23 tiny little things in it. Whatever they've done tonight I couldn't give a fuck and they sit in the in it, whether they've done tonight I couldn't give a fuck and they sit in the in the V bit but I don't wear gold now so it sits there. It was about 10 years after I was like yeah I don't want this anymore moving on. The ones we made were again white gold and I've got a full band of

diamonds. You kept all your wedding ring and all that? Yeah. Just thought that boys might want them. Boys might want them if you ever need a bit of money. Yeah, just sell them. I was wearing my great-grandmother's free diamond ring and everyone's like, no it's not real and then took it to be appraised and it is real so since then it's very secure and I haven't put it on my finger since because now I'm like doing the washing up, painting, decorating, not thinking one thing because I don't take my rings off when I wash up and then this is where I had my rings on again and I just keep getting, it's like a dermatitis isn't it? Yeah it's where the soap gets trapped underneath.

Yeah, but I only have it on a couple of days, then I get the little, and then it dries, but I like to wear them when I go out, so I wore the ring to your Christmas day, and then two days later I'm like, I mean, look at the state. Yeah, you look beaten up. Yeah, well, I'm a man, what are you gonna do?

Right, everyone, we hope you enjoyed the episode. Yeah, try not to overthink. Come to Reddit. And if you do, you probably aren't overthinking, let's say, so that's sort of the summary. You're really not, the summary is you're not. You're probably not. And even if you are overthinking, it's okay to, like that boy, it's okay to overthink because it can be really cute. He was cute. No, just try and create a different scenario rather than... Try and have positive thoughts rather than negative, but we're one for saying that babe. We ain't like that. Things like... I don't know what we're talking about.

Just come to our Reddit and tell us and we'll tell you if you're overthinking. Turns out you are. Yeah, and if you want to run with us on a... Yes, 10th of May. 10th of May. London West. Get in contact. We need a group. Yeah, you want to join our group? We need groupies. Oh my god, I tell you what, talking of groupies, that man, that man, so on Snapchat... Oh right, can I tell him? Who? About the man that wants to take... Oh! Who's single. I can I tell him about the man that wants to take who's single so on snapchat sometimes people send stories and I don't Respond or because sometimes it's shocking but anyway normal person which one of you single I'd love to take one of you on a date and I thought oh well it clearly don't matter

But i'm married I said Emily's single because you know when you're in that mood I'll tell you about your little musk in minute, because I was having a laugh, right? So anyway, so I'm like, I'm married, but Emily's single. So then he's like, can I take, which one's that? So I was like, Emily's got the lighter hair, Ellie got the darker hair. So he's like, okay. So then this goes backwards and forwards. I said

he gives his email address. I said I'll pass it on. He lives in Scotland. It ain't gonna happen. I don't think it'd happen anyway would it? A rando. No. But I'm having fun yeah. So anyway. Then he texts me. I'm like Emily's the light head one blah blah blah so then he goes to me which one again after giving the email for Emily and he's like which one of you single? I'm like it really don't matter does it at this point? Yeah I want to take you out for dinner so tell him I don't eat food. So anyway so we were laughing because I was a bit like he can't remember who's single so Eva could turn up really but anyway and then yesterday he sent a message saying baby reindeer oh yeah am I taking you out one of you out for

dinner or not not with that so I put laugh out loud you're too far away oh and then we've had Elon Musk follows this so real one yeah the real one he told me he's the real one how many times? Like a lot of times. Like he he needed us to be convinced. Because he's the real one so anyway Elon Musk added us on TikTok if you want to go over and have a look we're friends with Elon and uh then he's like what do you drive and I was like obviously a Tesla uh and I was like obviously a Tesla. I don't think Elon Musk would drive I think he'd be choked about or he'd be helicoptering around the world. So I said to Elon what do you drive and he said Fiesta. He said Mini Cooper. He said many different cars but also a Tesla.

I am the real Elon and I was like yeah yeah I believe you. Then he asked me what about me inspires you? So I said nothing like I don't know who you are like I don't know you. I'm the real Elon Musk. So then the last message from Elon was can we talk over telecom? I don't I mean he's a technological wizard so I said no. Why would Elon Musk use telecom? He's Twitter, I've done he own Twitter.

He wants to talk better with telecom. So I said no. I follow him on, we follow him on Twitter. I'm involved in that am I? Yeah he's definitely in he's got the blue tip. We follow. I follow him on, we follow him on Twitter. Oh I'm involved in that am I? Yeah he's definitely in, he's got the blue tip, we follow. I like Elon Musk, I think he's like proper fucking clever and a bit weird and I'm alright with that. I feel like you should date him.

I just don't think he's my type. I need a Tesla. Yeah anyway, yeah so he asks. You know if he's got a lot going for him, why would I date him? So he asked, can we talk over telecom? So I said no and he hasn't spoken to me since. I don't know if Elon's still following us or if I have to check. Oh I feel a little bit hurt.

Yeah, I was like, I drive a Tesla and everything. I have to get rid of my imaginary Tesla now. It's gone, I'm in on a full focus now as well. I can do, that has been really entertaining me because I've been responding. And then she sends it to me. I've had a slow week. Some of the messages are funny,

especially if you go along with it. You've had a slow week. I am Elon Musk okay? And I am Britney Spears. What? What? What? It astounds me is I reckon some people fall for it. A hundred percent. And he's like just send me 500 and I will make you a multi-millionaire and they're like okay. I do I reckon that actually it actually happens if anyone ever asked me to send the money I'd be like you send me money first yeah and then I know you're real and then we're Thanks, Elon. Oh, is he taking us on a holiday? Yay, Elon!

Where does he live? America. Where does he live? No, yeah. Everywhere. Probably got homes everywhere. I feel like he just lives in a helicopter because I don't believe he drives. You get this.

I've never seen him in a helicopter. I can't have ever seen him, but you know. Yeah, but you're like, helicopter. You're adamant. This has been for the past week. You're all about this helicopter. Elon if it really is you do you go in a helicopter all the time even to go to Sainsbury's? He doesn't go to Sainsbury's. Walmart. No it's Marks and Spencer's all the way in. Oh right when you're at Marks and Spencer's. Waitrose. Is Waitrose posh? Yeah.

If you're at Waitrose do you land on the roof in a helicopter? He probably wouldn't even go shopping for himself. No. He did it online. Because he created the internet. No he didn't. Yeah I know. When you're going somewhere, is it always in a helicopter? Could you please get back to us? Absolutely. And let us know. And this is this is gonna be when this episode comes out I'm gonna cut you know when you do the funny trailer bit I'm gonna take this bit and I'm gonna tag I'm gonna tag you Elon are you follow us anyway because

it's the real you so when I tag you can you please respond we want to know do you drive yourself right the to know do you drive yourself right the list yet do you drive yourself no he doesn't are you Elon I'm asking Elon right do you drive yourself I am your Elon and I'm telling you do you why would I everywhere that you can and what's three can we have some money we don't want we don't want your money no Because you're the rep no only joking yeah, so do you go in a helicopter everywhere Do you drive and if you do drive is it just your Tesla's?

No, you know drive Tesla's If he's out in public he has to because because you've got to promote your own shit. So driving means... He's in the front with the steering wheel in front of him. Yeah, but he's in public. So if he's driving, he's in public because it's a road, hence he has to be in his Tesla. If he's going somewhere where he's got to be and people... You know what paparazzi are like, they know he'll be in his Tesla. If he's going somewhere where he's got a B, and people, you know what paparazzi are like, they know he'll be in a Tesla.

He's really big right there. And when he goes out, he goes in a fucking Ford Fiesta, nobody knows. Yeah, but that would be like, yeah, fine, that's undercover stuff. Why would we undercover? So he isn't harassed by weirdos like me and you asking, excuse me, are you always in a helicopter?

That's why it goes in a helicopter. All right, well, I'm going to put this out there when this comes out. I'm going to edit it down to just these questions, Elan, and I'm going to tag you. If you could take, because I know we've already had a conversation on TikTok, but if you could take a moment to answer my questions, I'd really appreciate that because I feel like I know you better than Emily does. Liz, I googled you what one of our first podcasts. Yeah, but you didn't say anything about that. Because you wanted to know where you were because she was talking about me going out

and melting men. Yeah, to take one for the team. Elon will understand. You'll understand won't you? I just want to come in your helicopter. There's no coming in anyone's helicopter. No I'm joking. Just ask Elon. Since we've already had a conversation and we're mates. Right. Answer the... We're stopping now. Oh. I'm rolling this up. Okay. This is done. That's right I'll cut it down don't worry. I'll make it into a small clip of do you have a helicopter. That's all you had to ask. Yeah, but there were other questions. Moving on.

Okay. Thank you for everyone that joined. You are going to have to cut this right down. It's like a lot of Elon Musk. It's not about him. It was about am I overthinking? We're overthinking this. We don't overthink anything. We're overthinking this we don't overthink anything we're overthinking the helicopter and the tesla we're telling you well we'll find out because he's gonna answer he speaks to me all the time on tiktok right bye everyone bye oh i don't want to get up it's so warm and cozy oh Oh, I don't want to get up. It's so warm and cosy. Oh!