Middle-aged opinion - Ghosted I can’t get a text back

Episode Date: June 25, 2025

Today we talk about people that were ghosted some had met but most had just started their relationship by texting and it fizzled out with excuses such as my auntie got hit by a car I was in hospital you know what it’s like. We hope you enjoy today’s episode.#Ghosted #Can’tGetATextBack #WhyDon’tYouWantMe

Wow, what do you think of that? What don't you think of that? Well I think that girl has got everything that she needs. Yay. Nuh-uh. Nuh-uh. Nuh-uh. Nuh-uh.

Pull the door too please, Bean. It's just a small bean, you backer. Sorry. I said leave it open a tad. A tad, darling, a tad. Thank you, darling. Thank you you darling, thank you darling. Pull it slightly, slightly. We just want to see a crack of air.

That's it, no too much, that's it. Fuck me daddy. Thank you daddy, daddy chill now. What did you get out there today? I've put in stuff away. Stuff. Cause I had all of. Stuff. Stuff. What did you get out there today? I've put in stuff away stuff My other boots and like oh my go we'll wear this and like no, I know you know

No, how many pairs of cowboy boots you have loads? She likes the bill What does she like? No boobs. Well he's not wrong. Yeah he's not wrong. How many do you have? What else? Three, four, three. Three.

I've only got three pairs of cowboy boots. I've got a pair of... They're kind of like ankle boots, but they're in the style of a cowboy boot. Yeah mine is... Yee-haw! And generally like they're so soft and they're so comfy but I'm just like are you guys... I've got them in beige and black.

Are you guys doing it? No. Not with them anyway. Are you guys doing it? But that's... that is my outfit. We're about to start, yeah. Oh, okay. You like your boots?

Even the parrot's getting involved. Yes! So we start with my one, because that's the most boring one. I'm safe then, upstairs, thank you for making too much noise. Start with Ellie. Well, I can relate to that hashtag

rateable exactly exactly I might even put that hashtag relatable oh really yeah why not yeah I'm like a little ginger say the bigger boys okay so he had loads of friends over and they play knocked on your door on my door as i watched them run away so when i see him i say hey spaz face yeah keep you and your mates off my door because it's annoying bruv even harry was like happy when i'm gonna go slap him i was like all right calm down calm down no no that's not what we're doing. But how thick have you got to be? I mean, it's entirely thick. There's cameras everywhere. Like, is there three brain cells between you? I think it's really cool to do.

There must have been, because it was sparking something to make their legs move. They ran out. And it was like, yeah, yeah, we all know it's you. When I see them I'm gonna say, Oi! Next time I'm going out, The Bat!

You cunt. It's to make your face more symmetrical than it is now. Hashtag Moo-wa-ha-ha-ha. Evil neighbor. They are evil. No I was talking about you but yes. I actually haven't done nothing yet bruv. Yet.

Yet bruv. Yeah. Hashtag older millennial. Yeah exactly. Hasht say older millennial elder have you seen the video no and I don't show you it he's gonna show me it's gonna hurt my feelings it's always hurting my feelings your son look how old you are yeah I know I like him as one tells me he's 41 every 10 minutes, I'm like, yeah, yeah, I know You're nearly to 42. When is his birthday? You wouldn't tell us the what second?

So he was telling the truth then same as Courtney and then anytime Jenna went something he was like crazy Don't believe in it here that Crazy and then she was like, she said something else and went What a coincidence! And she goes, you're not cancer, are you? Even I'm creamish by that. I'm embarrassed by her. If she was my mate and she said that in the line, I'd go why did she say that you're embarrassing me?

Why did she say that Just finished there They didn't even let anyone finish because they were just like, what? What did you say? Obama said, go and buy me one and don't even think of it. How funny, but yeah, like, yeah, like he's got this whole thing where he wasn't interested in Soliax so of course Jenna kept saying, what's your star sign? And he was like, oh oh my god that's crazy

because you just don't believe in it. I was like so I take it you don't believe in it, don't believe in it at all then. Do you know what I mean? What's wrong? What's wrong? Is that the one I normally have? I don't know. That'll do. Yours isn't straight, that's why. It's right under your face. Do you want it to be inside you? Well, I just want to be able to hear me.

Talk. I was talking. Well, I did sound check. Look, it's not, that's you. I'm only coming up a little, look, only tiny teeny teeny teeny teeny little teeny bit. There you go. No don't act crazy. I've turned it up. Don't act crazy. There you go. Alright. Don't be. Ahhhhh. That was going all the way. That wasn't even loud. Right, are we alright to start with ghosting? I'm trying to think what else is going on. Right so I'm all set for rodeo and I am all set but who's going?

Me, you, Helen, Adam, Mark, Jamie. Jamie. Okay fine. Is that it? And then Helen went it cost me so much more than you. Me and Jenna were like, well, what did you pay? She went 30 and we went, we paid 20 like calm down. Yeah. Yeah. Like making out like you had to pay a hundred pounds. Should have just done it when, when, you know, I sent those five messages. But I did say, I said to her and James, you know that it's all music just in rodeo form it's not like it's going to be just cowboy music it is normal music in cowboy form yeah with an accent yeah i mean there is cowboy music but yeah of course i don't mind cowboy music so i'm all right with it i won't know them and then I'm like do I need to learn how to do what is it called I feel

like at least like one dance the easiest one yeah I might watch some YouTube videos before that's why I started sending some like it and just to get they get the movement down yeah the little square box you make you feel like I need to learn it. I've got terrible, terrible coordination. Yeah, so have I with the whole left, right, forward, step, round, turn and sweep. Wow, look how long it takes us to get stupid little dances done. Right, are we ready?

I'm excited for it though. I'm excited for it. I'm excited that we've got a couple of things planned that is exciting. Yeah. And then that's it. I've got no money after that. So tell me back to the no, I can't, no, I can't, no, I can't. Right. Let's get into it. Hello everyone and welcome to middle aged opinion. I'm your host Ellie. And I'm your host Emily and today we are looking at ghosted Ghosted as in Yeah, I'm not I think like ghost is ghosted although that would make a good podcast I turned into a ghosted

Into a ghosted but yeah about people being ghosted by people that they were dating or friends somebody in your family or yeah just people that have just disappeared not a word have you ever ghosted anyone? me? yes yeah i think i have you think you have? think i have i can't tell you any specific names but definitely when I was doing like that dating scene and something weird happened and I'm like... So you block them before they try contact you again or you let a few come through and then block? A couple of them I did allow a few to come through and then I'm like no it's still a no

and some of them were just like nope. I don't think I have ghosted anybody like that as such but I have slowly pulled away from some friends in the past just because of where I was in my life didn't match up anywhere Near where they were in their life, and then I thought they were a bit of a soul sucker You know when you're with someone and you leave you're so drained because they've just got so many problems And it's just all about them all the time and I was just like Yeah, it's really exhausting to be your friend so I kind of just pulled away not horribly but just because our vibe wasn't matching anymore yeah no I haven't done like that dating it was just a kind of a bit of a power trip

not gonna lie yeah it did make me feel very in control of what I wanted and what I was doing and who I was allowing to be part of that so it was yeah I felt in control which is great yeah the closest thing I think I've ever done to ghosting is when I've been on a night out made 20 new best friends added them all on Facebook as soon as the weekend weekend ended deleted them all off because when I'm drunk I'm like the nicest person in the world and I'm just like oh my god we like soulmates and then I wake up and I'm like I could be on my life with 20 new friends and then as soon as I know I'm not gonna see them again delete delete delete I don't know why I do it I wish someone would stop me trying to talk to people

I Actually talk to people. Yeah, just when I've had a drink I shouldn't be allowed to talk to people because it when I've had a drink everyone is like my best friends and I'm the happiest person Ever and it's annoying because that's I feel like that's not but they say like when you're drunk you say and do things that that are true so what is it am I the stone-cold dead inside bitch that I normally am or am I the really outgoing nice chatty or my best friend person what is it what is the real or is it somewhere in between I think I think your own personal traumas have put those walls up so that actually we've had a drink you relax and And then maybe maybe part of your true self comes out that the part of you that you don't let other people see or the more

relaxed part of yeah unless You know them and yeah, like with you guys. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah, that makes more sense It's like day and night Drunk me and sober me are not the same person. No, I don't think drunk drunk Emily is the same person as sober I think I think that that for you is the same thing I think you have a wall and I think that when you're not drunk but when you're drunk drunk that I like to control of myself. Yes. So when I've had a drink I know that that's a celebrity's loan. But why not? So if I come back from Bucklins with 50 new friends and then you're deleted on Monday morning. But we're not dramatic though. Don't take it on personal

because I don't mean it personal I just like I can't have all that. Yeah we're not too dramatic it's not like we've ever ended up in Holland or anything because. What you're saying this isn't the film hungover. No it's been like dramatic. I mean there's a good group of us there's 16 of us so we'll see what happens really. That sounds like a good idea. There's floatables right in the middle of the sea. Yay! I mean, that's just completely ridiculous and stupid to do.

We had life jackets on. Yeah, it was so dangerous. So dangerous. I know. But we're alive. Did we die? No, we didn't almost die either. Oh I don't know. I got stuck but I didn't die. There was potential to almost die. Of course there was potential. I feel like it almost got there. Yeah I mean I just you do sign though. If I die, it's not their fault. Yay! This was in our beefer. This was in our beefer.

I reckon they do that here in the UK as well. Right. All right. So, I'm gonna kick us off. Am I crazy? Not that it's not about me, this story. I need some honesty. My ex and I hang out for a couple of weeks after being broke up for four years. She reached out and wanted to catch up and everything

seemed to be going great. We would flirt about being interested in each other again. She ghosts me. She has also done this without the hanging out part over the course of the breakup. Reaches out and reaches out with breadcrumbs and then ghosts me. When I said something about being ghosted, she said that she doesn't want me to think we're jumping back into something and it's not that serious when I finally stood up and she said I can't be in your life like this and it actually and and and if you actually want me to try again then you have to let me know.

I can't help but feel like I might have jumped the gun instead of seeing where this went. I might have wanted it too fast instead of us starting all over again and let my anxiety tell me she's ghosting me again. I also was tired of the cycle of her giving me hope and then leaving me. Goal. It's quite like relationship advice I think this Reddit. So that basically is he's never got over her, right? She's gone, hey, because she's got nothing else better going on. I agree. He's gone, hi! Yeah. You fucking.

Hey! Hi. And she's like. You're never that loud. Oh, do you want to hang out? And then he's like, yeah. And then she's like, ew. Okay.

And then he's like. Oh, oh, it's like yeah okay and then he's like whoa I think she was dipping her toe in see if she could nose now she can and she's gone now I don't want it so what you're saying is you think she's biding her time to something better comes along and then she's gonna fuck him off. She's not biting her time, she's literally just finding something else to do while she's got nothing better to do. I think... Knowing full well he was gonna bite and she knew that would happen, she knew he loves her or whatever. And... It's like a power trip as well, because they broke up four years ago.

Yeah, dangling with a carrot, just, you know you know test the waters see if she's still got that control She does like he's um like he's the consolation prize sort of in a way Do you know me that I've got nothing better to do and I know he will pick up the phone to me I know he will go out with me I know he'll give me his time and give up other people from what he said that was their relationship before as well then she's not even that interested so she knows it so top comment does say I'm sorry situation I'm sorry you're on a roller coaster this seems like a pattern I

would venture to say she would have eventually done this with or without you standing up for yourself. People who can't meet the bare minimum exhibit these behaviors don't deserve us in our lives. I agree. OP did respond. I keep trying to tell myself that but I can't help but feel like I blew it by maybe coming off like I might have rushed it and keep replaying the conversation and seeing her with rose-colored lenses. I agree with everything you said. That is what he said. He is seeing it all in rose-colored bloody tinted glasses. He's just like oh maybe I I rushed it. No mate, you didn't.

You didn't. You let her know, I still like you. It's better what you did. And she went, oh no, no, no. Yeah, I feel like, I feel like you split up four years ago, you split up for a reason. Do you know what I mean?

Past is the past. Yeah, and have some self growth. Like, look at yourself and ask yourself what you want. Not what she wants and how to please her and get her back in your life. Yeah and have some self growth like look at yourself and ask yourself what you want not what she wants and how to please her and get her back in your life and is it my fault it's it's it doesn't matter whose fault it is it's not gonna work out and if you get back with her you'll never know whether she's back with you because she's waiting for something better to come along or because she wants to be with you it sounds like she don't even want to

be with him. No she was literally. Bored bored with him. No. She was literally. Bored. Bored. Yeah. Sorry. Fuck her off. Like, yeah, really, really do.

Like, fuck her off, mate. Sorry, I'm busy. Yeah, bye. And then ghosts him. I mean, that is a new thing, babe. Oh no, I suppose we had the best ghosting growing up. You just didn't pick up the home phone, bro. Home phone.

And if your dad picked up you're like Yeah, is that sorry? She's not here. When will she be? Yeah, she moves out She moved out. She's at Helen's house. Oh, I've already phoned there. Yeah But yeah, I definitely I definitely think move on yeah Sandy better mate. I ghosted love that love that for her okay go my boyfriend of seven months ghosted me fucking hell it's rude let's hear why okay my boyfriend of seven months was coming over yesterday after I oh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh no shut up oh my god yeah my boyfriend of today. I'll throw it up. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. No. Shut up. Oh my God.

Yeah. My boyfriend of seven months was coming over yesterday afternoon to meet my family for the first time over ice cream. He texts me that he had made it to the parking lot and that's the last I've heard of him. I text him multiple times last night letting him know where we were and that we were waiting for him. My messages eventually stopped going through and my calls to voicemail. He blocked me on social media too. I'm at a loss for words. I have no idea what could have gone wrong. He didn't show any signs of being nervous to meet them I guess I'm single. Lol. There's an edit. Okay, don't read that yet. I have two theories. Let's see if I'm correct

First one is He freaked out and couldn't go through with it. Like meeting the parents too much. Seven months to go with though Yeah, it doesn't mean you know some people freak out and shit like that babe, do you know what I mean? Or he found something out that he shouldn't have. Okay. In that moment. Okay. And he was like, fuck that bitch and instead of, instead of...

Fuck that bitch and instead of confronting her, fucked her off. Those are my two theories. Let's hear what happened. Because she said, because he had a message saying that he'd made it to the car park. Yeah, something happened from parking the fucking car. He was abducted by a ghost.

I was like, right, she didn't go down that road. So he's gonna turn up in five years time, the same age, the same clothes. I tell you what bothered me. He walked in that ice cream parlor and go, where are you babe? when she said that he the messages stopped going through this stack and the other I was like shit but when she said blocked on social media I was like she's been ghosted but at

first I'd be like ringing the family is he okay like he turned up here police would be there all fucking sorts but go on right edit one okay oh I know this blew up lol I still haven't heard from him for those who are wondering I've been convinced by comments that I was the other woman I'm not going to try to continue to connect contact him or try to figure out who his wife other girlfriend may be or contact her. Also I wouldn't be giving his name out publicly or privately for people to try to figure out what happened.

Lol. I'll update again if I ever hear from him. This was one year ago but like... Okay Cole, there is a second edit. Okay, okay. Didn't even consider another woman but that is the same theory as something happened in that moment It's just weird that he's like, yeah I'm in the car park and then and then yeah unless his girlfriend walked past or his wife walked past Like I mean that unless I'm assuming people decided to put that theory you're the other woman But why would like you say he got to the car park? He's like I'm in the car park the other woman but why would like you say he got to the car park he's like in the car park of course of course yeah yeah it's bizarre like he just had a

going along anyway edit two for anyone looking for an update on this post my ex texts me this afternoon shut the fuck up he didn't say that oh he explained that after he parked that night he had anxiety about meeting my family and left. He saw a doctor recently and had started medication. He said he had not been cheating on me. He's asking to get back together but I am not interested. Right okay go on. Right so my first theory was correct, that was my theory one. That he freaked out because anxiety is all the thing now, isn't it? But, right, so, okay, listen, I'm gonna give him his Jews.

I can understand that he probably had a panic attack. My problem is, he blocked her, so now I don't fucking believe him. Yeah, I don't believe that. Right, so I would have believed it if he was like, listen babe I mean you're gonna have to come to the car and then she got to the car and she was like he's like I can't go in there like I can't do it like fine fine I'll be like all social though my this is my problem because he went to the extremes of blocking her and then not fucking contacting her and then all of a sudden he's got social anxiety now I I've got the ump. I mean she doesn't talk about the relationship before then,

but. I'm interested between being ghosted and him messaging. Yeah. I wanna know that timeline. Why don't you just say that it's not like they've been together seven months, so if he had any anxiety or anything like that, she would have known there's a problem.

Yeah, it would have definitely come through. So she would have been like, I know you're panicking blah blah blah but nah nah go on no yeah nah good for you not being interest because I wouldn't be no no no no I'll be like who are you yeah sorry okay yeah let's see what people have read it say unbelievable right go on then right I'm sorry that this happened to you my best advice please don't go crazy searching for closure be sad but don't obsess over trying to get answers from him sorry my

ex and I were in a similar situation. He lived two hours away. We saw each other every other weekend. Sometimes we went longer and we dated for over a year. He'd meet my parents and I had met his. One night he talked about how he wanted to marry me one day and have kids with me. About 15 hours after the conversation, he called and broke up with me and gave me no answers. I feel deja vu-y. That's crazy. He proceeded to block me on everything.

Deja vu-y. Was his name? We know him. I highly suspect that there was another girl involved. No! Yeah crazy. We definitely know him. We know him. I've never got answers. I drove myself crazy for weeks wondering what I did wrong. Don't be like that. Don't torment yourself with what, ifs or ever, every scenario possible. You'll be okay. It'll hurt like hell for a little bit and then one day you'll realize you don't remember the last time you thought

about him you'll be okay. What do you think's really going on? Right because I haven't got the time scale between him ghosting her and then him going hey hey I had anxiety I'm on medication now okay I mean that I feel like that is a crucial bit of information right because for me I'm like how long was that and I'm just seeing if anyone else asked because I want to see if I appear okay well then give you have two theories there so if it was... I'm thinking, yeah, there was somebody else involved in this. What, like walked past at night? And that potentially they've messaged, where are you? Because your tracker on your Insta... That's from from Tough Mudder that's all that you still

fooling the park bro yeah cuz my hands were burning weren't they they're on fire there's got great holes literally holes in my hands yeah I think I think something happened with that other person or he saw someone that knew him with that other person and was like shit in the restaurant maybe to leave like visually through the glass and was like shit yeah and they're like and off he goes because he didn't come in and they're like where's Stacey and like Stacey ain't with him because he's meeting Jennifer yeah and I'm like yeah that's okay yeah yeah okay me I was like he's got anxiety the wife made it to the parking lot at the same time. Told you, told you. That was my second theory. I hope he hasn't said anything. Yeah we're all I think we're all oh he did live about

two hours away we saw each other every other week. Oh no. That is okay. He may have been leading a double life, but I don't know how the other women would be there considering he lives so far away. Unless... Maybe she followed him there. Or... Oh, now she's thinking it too. Or unless he got there and there was an emergency with his good missus.

Or his children there you go there you go the 18 is where she met him now they go moving on yeah moving on we've done a podcast about that they're the boots you're wearing yeah yeah they're pretty right everyone's saying the other one could have been a fiz physically hard but perhaps I am it's hard to try to fathom someone could be so deceptive while smiling in your face. Or something we haven't considered. Go on.

Aliens. He does have a son that I knew about. He's got a wife! This bitch is still with the baby mumma. He lives in this world. She should have put that I knew about. He's got a wife! This bitch is still with the baby mama! He lives in this wife! Oh my god! She should have put that in the story! Yeah, I feel like there's information missing.

That would have been my only theory. I would have been like, ah, okay, so he's still married? Fucking men, bruv! Do you know, listen, I know it ain't only men yet, but it's mainly men, innit? How bored have you got of it? Listen, right?

You're in a relationship, women are the worst, yeah? Men are the worst, women are the worst. We just are, yeah? Then you've got kids who are the fucking worst, yeah? 100% had a wife already. There you go. Then, then you've got a job, yeah? And amongst all that, you need another girlfriend.

Oh, I feel really sorry for it. Come on. Everyone's just like, he's got a wife! No. But she's like he's got a wife now oh I didn't think about it oh no oh I think people made it feel a little bit silly she shouldn't be silly bless her the problem the problem is by you put trust into people say listen I'm not immune from it I just happened to meet someone that lived down the road when technology wasn't a thing or just started to be a thing and

I could visit Visually see like his friends family and all that sort of thing That's how it happened for me If I had to date now in this fucking time and age and tinder and all that fucking book fuck that I walk into a bar Say duck and just see who came Like that's it yeah you who came you who came DUCK Hi I'm Richard

I'm like come on come on you'll do yeah you'll do and that's it like I ain't got time for all this hey I'm a scarpeo blah blah blah blah my favourite part yeah I don't care I don't care about your problems yet DUCK and then that's it that's my only concern blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah and I'm like yeah yeah anyway would you get married again he's like no because we can be together forever I was like you're so annoying and I was like I'd never marry anyone again you ruined it for me but no seriously I'd never get married again because people are a lot of work and I ain't I ain't got enough to give that's what I'm saying it's like it's a lot of energy although I think you should not rule that out even though at the beginning

I'm like don't ever get married again but I think if you want to and you meet someone special then fine. Yeah, I've said it before like yeah it's not ruled out for me. She's probably 18 years old and I'm like don't do it! I'm like don't do it! And he was 33. But I do feel like people should go back to meeting people how they used to meet people I want a couple of Instagram groups not groups you know support groups but they're dating but therefore like dating for over 30 are you? I am because what they do is they actually do like meet-up mixers rather than then like meeting online it's like right on this day at this bar we've got this room come and then would you go single not on my

own I don't think I would go on my own. I'll go with ya. I'll just wear a shirt that says... Wing woman. Wing woman. Yes, that's a good idea. I'll go with ya. I might stop trying to shout at my friend. And then they're talking and I'll be like... Eww. Eww. You don't have no one here. Let's leave. I'll be like, it ain't about me.

You've just made all the friends of the girls and all that. It ain't about me. I'm best friends! And toilet and I ain't about them no I'm just clearing the bar for you if I take all the women with me in the toilet you can have your pick up the litter I'll go with you local to us the most recent one I've seen not recent most local was Rygate I'll go with you generally tend to be in London get the train I don't know I don't know we can go up and see what happens London's London's pricey might meet me a real rich sugar daddy I just I'm like I just go I don't know if I've got the energy to give to somebody. I mean I get it

but you'll never know until you meet someone that's worth speaking to babe. I mean look at you and your ex and all that, it just happened. See what I mean? Yeah. But yes my point is the way that they're doing this over 30 thing and happening under them whatever is exactly what I'm talking about over 30 makes sense I've not asked you go out to a bar anywhere and children right anyway is it me yeah right it feels like it's getting harder not easier. Oh you can't make it up. It's been a week since he ghosted me. I stupidly reached out after two days and he gave me some excuse about his cousin's sister passing away. This is not the first time he's brought up a family as an excuse for something but I felt bad. Went over to the house the next day,

I text him that if he ever needs space he can just tell me. In response to that he said that all he wanted was me in his life just as I am. I think he mostly said it to avoid responsibility then he asked me if I liked him or loved him never heard from him again. What was your answer? We'll see if she's put it. I'm left feeling so confused embarrassed and ashamed during the day I miss him and wish he'd say something at night I'm left feeling disgusted by him then embarrassed that I showed any type of vulnerability with him I'm assuming she said I love him assumed a vulnerability with him assumed for not ashamed for not leaving him before he could leave me I wish I could take my power back and make him

feel ignored I wish I could be the one to ghost him and make him feel embarrassed I feel like the days are going by and it's not getting easier it's very new oh that's really sad she doesn't say how long they were I mean she has written back to the top comments I'll go through that but what do you think another family or he's not that interested? He's not that interested but he sounds a little bit again lovebomby and then pulls away and then... I don't really get that either. I don't know why people bother.

If you're not interested, just get to the point and be like, I'm not interested. All this back and forth. It's not that they're not interested. They need, it's the need for the attention. That's what the love bombing's about. Because Britain back quite a lot. The minute you get someone going, you're great you're wonderful you're this

you're that and I love I love I love I love I love and you're like I feel a hundred dollars and I'm on top of the world and this is great and it's you it's you it's you it's you but you've got to keep that you know it's not level for me I couldn't even tell you what that feeling's like that level anymore because it does start to drop because it's exhausting. Yeah of course. Do you like that? Yeah you're like yeah uh-huh uh-huh. So all those people that spoke to you like that you just like moving on. No. The ex did and said but he very much said to me I really need you to talk to me like this and I'm really sorry but it's just disgusting. I can't

talk to people like that because it's not that I'm not feeling it I can say when I'm feeling it. Oh yeah I was gonna say are you feeling that though? I can say when I'm feeling it but you can't walk into my door and be and I'm like oh my god you're so great oh my god you're amazing oh my god. That isn't it based on how I'm feeling that day is how much I can give you that day not to mention like For our age for example after being that I'm not I don't mean that But what I'm saying is after being married and in a committed relationship just this that and the other It's not the same as when you're young and everything's amazing and oh my god. I love you. It's just not the same It's just not the same and I can't imagine it's the same for anybody

that's been married before what I'm not saying you don't fall in love and all that but it's not like your eyes are open is what I mean it's you're going into something with baggage you have children you have a house it's not you're not walking into something clean, fresh and everything slidy da da. It's just not. But I don't know. But there is a bit of a thread here where one person has written to her and she's written back. So I think I'll just, I'll start with the first one and see whether it's interesting or not. Go for it.

Okay. What if I told you that you can- I know him. Yeah. We know him as well. What if I told you that you can take your power back without getting without even ghosting him This is the famous no contact From your end. It's very hard to do completely ie not craving it not breaking it and Never reaching out first. You do not announce it, you do not explain, justify it, you do not threaten to do it, you just silently step away, reach out. It refocuses your balance of power to tilt your way. Whether he likes it or not, this, the effect is not easy. The shift in power back to your side. Start very slowly and gradually

speed up as more and more time goes by until you have regained all of your power you gave up by until you have regained all of your power you gave up in the first place. Opie did write back I mean that's very sensible and it's very easier than done as we all know. Well he thinks I'm playing hard to get if he's the one who's stopping talking to me. I'm not reaching out anymore as I did in the first place and then they do go backwards and forwards a little bit trying to get her to understand she says if I messaged if I if I messed up Sunday by telling him how I felt he wasn't responding anymore so that's kind of what yeah you didn't need it's not a mess up you didn't mess up by telling someone how you felt it's listen and then it's sad it's i wish i knew how

long they'd been together i wish there was more a few more details here too the thing is as well some people whether they've had a history or not, fall hard really quickly. Some people are just like that. And that's also fine. I'm not saying that it's not. And it's easy for me. I mean, I give it all the, you know, this, that and the other, but I have been married for a long time and I am still in that, in that relationship. So it's easy for me to sit here and say what you shouldn't, shouldn't be doing.

But you know, I think it's about self respect as well in it yeah this bloke's a piece of shit and it's as simple as that but sad really yeah it is hard but yeah it's life, it is one of those you've really just got to pick on. Thing is, as well, I think... Like, it's not your husband. It's not your husband. It's not a long-term partner that you've been with forever. I do think it's a cop-out.

Do you remember when we were younger and it was considered disgusting to dump someone by text? Yeah. Like, when the phones came out, it was like, you're a proper tramp if you... And now they just completely block them. People deserve closure. Whether they like it or not, people deserve...

I don't want to see you and this is why. No, I do agree. I do agree. Go. Sometimes they don't work though. What? Like giving someone closure. No it doesn't but if you've done that and then you go so I'm alright with that.

Yeah I've done that one. Fine. Like that's fine. Like if you're like these are the- Why don't you want to see me? Because you shouted at me and actually you don't know me. Someone shouted at you. Honestly.

What like on a first date? On a second. Shouting at you about what? What did you do? Like was shouting at me down Honestly. What, like on a first date? On a second. Shouting at you about what? What did you do? Was shouting at me down the phone. About what? I'm like, who you talking to? Yeah, who you talking to?

I'm going. I told him I'm going. Put the phone down. Were you waiting somewhere for him to go? Down you, put the phone down. No, no, come back. Shouting at me more. I need the context.

I'm gonna work. And then I ignored him and then when I come out he's like left me voice notes. I'm sorry I had a row with my daughter and blah blah blah blah blah. Give me the context. There was no context. Oh he just started screaming at you. He was like rowing at me. I'm like I don't know why you're shouting at me. Don't talk to me like that I'm not your kid I'm not your daughter like don't talk to me like that oh I called I said I've also told something that they acted like a bitch

before and then that they shouted at me then I'm like don't talk to me like that were they were they acting like a bitch though yeah they were quite fair listen I've come all this way to meet you and you're a bitch and I'm sorry that I don't want to sit in your house while you go and do something with your family and I've got to be here by myself I could have come up tomorrow that's so weird and so sorry he's going out to dinner he's going out with his he's like I'm gonna go out with my family blah blah blah you still come up and you just stay in the house and I'm like no I'm good

that's super uncomfortable I'm doing I'll come up and you just stay in the house and I'm like no I'm good that's super uncomfortable I'm doing I'll come up tomorrow no problem he's like but this is while I was there because this is what he was going to tell me I was he was telling me what I was doing next summer saw him and I'm like no yeah so he stomped off like a bitch like and I was like and then came back and stomped back down like why you acting like a bitch and I was like and then came back and stunk back down like why you acting like a bitch and then he's like call me a bitch and we're going home and

then stomped off again and you went bye bitch because you're acting like a bitch so I sat there and ate my dinner that you've made me. This is what I'm talking about. I can't be dealing with these fucking people man. And then and then the next time I saw him he decided to tell me in a drunken state that he loved me and I'm like you don't love me You're you is this infatuation because don't you know me don't love me. Yes, I do I'm like no you don't and then the time I was just glad you got out of there. This isn't gonna work I'd be like and he was like I like you like being like that and I'm like this is I haven't got what you need I you need a younger person who can pander to this because I can't do this yeah

and he was like oh what did he say I don't remember what he said but then he blocked me on everything oh excellent fantastic okay then once again proving that he's a bitch. Right go on. Text a man who ghosted me and now I'm riddled with embarrassment. Oh she accidentally texted him. No wait. Okay. I'm 30 female and I was seeing a 34 male for two months. Things were great, we met many times enjoying each other's company, I finally let my guard down and poof he ghosted me. To gain clarity, everyone wants clarity. I get that though. I text him quite a few times which now on reflection I find quite embarrassing. I'm hurting a bit because I stooped quite low to sort of beg a man for attention. I'm a bit upset with myself because average men

like him can make someone like me feel like nothing. Someone so easy to get rid of someone they can so easily forget I've lost a bit of respect for myself all I wanted to do was care for him and be there for him but after he ghosted me it just comes across as desperate I don't know how to get over this don't beat yourself up girl you'll be fine you'll be fine it's one of those things we all do stuff that's embarrassing all the time. Why aren't you talking to me? Hello, hello, hello, talk to me. If you don't come, I'm gonna phone your mum.

Especially if she fell hard, you know what I mean? Like I get it, and she's probably like, oh why did I do that? But it's, you know, it's like when you've had a drink, you do embarrassing stuff and the next day you're like, oh, it's you know, it's like when you've had a drink you do embarrassing stuff and the next day you're like, oh It's fine So someone's like being vulnerable and open about your feelings isn't desperate. It's human

What is inhumane is utterly failing to acknowledge it when other another person does that? You are not the one who should be feeling shame here And then someone else is like it's really immature of him to say nothing at all really lame. I do find that super immature I can't stand that I do find it embarrassing. Oh no I feel like no response is a response. But it is babe. And I do that a lot. It is but at the same time if you have been in a relationship you do oh that's what I said to you, you owe someone that this is the reason and then ghost them, like I'm fine with that. Yeah, ghosting is disrespectful. But to just ghost and then be left going, what the fuck?

What have I done? Right, even if you were a cunt but you don't realize you're a cunt, you deserve to be told that that's exactly what you are and why you are that. And then like ghost them, do you know what I mean? It's like when you have a row, like when me and Paul have what I mean it's like when when you have a row like when me and Paul have a row and you don't talk to me like a baby like a baby and I'm like you're so mature yeah ghosting is real disrespectful it's so disrespectful and this poor girl bless her I think as well it's a self-esteem thing in it but you know that no one seemed to have any of these days exactly right why did she ghost me

let's find out why uh why she told me things like i'm interested in you i feel very good with you i appreciate when i receive a message from you then two days ago she sent me a good morning with a red heart and then she disappeared stopped I know about her personal situation it isn't a really good moment for her and as she said I can't really feel anything serious at the moment but we talk about it and it isn't a problem at all so this is all capped so why she disappeared without saying nothing? there you go give me something give me something so she's even like a really really busy person and really shouldn't be dating because she

can't fit someone else in her life to even text them back. Or you ain't the only one mate and you ain't at the top of her list. Right, so they're your two theories. They're the top two. I think she's going... I'm going with the second one more so. I think she's going through something bad in her personal life, like a death or something like that, because she says, I can't really feel anything serious at the moment.

So when someone's obviously going through something bad, loss, cancer... No, I feel like you've given her too much. Really? I don't think she's... She said, I can't feel anything serious right now. You can't feel... Yep, with you. Oh alright. So you think she's just... I can't feel anything serious. I'm just going to still keep chucking the breadcrumbs out. I can't feel anything. Because Tom, Dick and Harry are more interesting. Okay, so she is no leeway

with you at all. I mean it could be her mum dying but you're like now she's a bitch right let's see what she's not bitch she is empowered and she's dangling carrots left right and center oh who can be bothered unless I got time yeah but she's definitely younger right she specifically said I can't it doesn't say it specifically said I can't feel anything serious at the moment not to be rude, but you should have Translated that as sorry, but I don't really feel anything for you One of the reasons for this is that you are too agreeable and too present now on the other hand saying I Feel good with you and I appreciate receiving messages

from you does not mean that she has feelings for you it simply means she enjoys your emotional support and that you are providing and that she's got attention especially after you said it isn't a problem at all that she cannot feel anything serious this is going to sound harsh but you need to walk away from this woman not not as a game not as a punishment but to establish some self-respect both for you and in her eyes in your if you keep texting after having been ghosted, you're going to hammer the final nail into the coffin and kill any respect or affection that she might have for you. She doesn't have any.

OP, I mean that's a great bit of advice. That's literally you. That's what I just said. So leave mate. So OP did respond. You you're wrong she loves me actually I feel like the way he ready is a very a very good way of saying what you've just said I feel like he was more blunt come on so I hope he did say I should have understood this before I think you need to start writing responses back to people.

These phrases are actually big red flags. Massive. But I'm stupid. No, no, not stupid. Now I know that this person, this OP, has very low self-respect. Yeah, not stupid. Now I know the truth, I'm gonna have to move on.

And then you wrote back. You're not stupid. you're not stupid and just don't know now you know don't make the same mistake they they know what to say to keep you hanging on oh yeah she's a day she said the right things for him to go oh she does like me I'm actually starting to feel like it should become a criminal event offense to be such a cunt I feel like the last few podcasts I feel like I'm getting a bit nicer do you I'm starting to feel sorry for people like an empathy thing it's never happened to me before I'm like, oh, oh, I am quite hot. Yeah, yeah. I think she's sick. I am.

Maybe I've got a new version of Corona. Oh. And it makes you nicer. Yeah, so once it's the menopause, you're going, you do everything else backwards, don't you? Coffee helps her sleep, nobody else, just this fucker. That and relentless. But after everybody has caught

this new strain, they'll be even nicer than me and I'll be known as the cunt still. High five! Such a dickhead. Called someone out for ghosting and I couldn't be happier that I did it. You go sister! Oh man. Right, there are edits in this too. Okay. I take forever to get over someone especially ones who ghost me. Me too. You're left wondering and waiting and I hate that it's 2023. I'm not going to waste time anymore. Recently I've wasted some more time. Yes, you know she has. Was that during the pandemic? 23, uh, 22. 22. The pandemic, no 2020. Yeah, okay yeah we were just coming out of lockdown yeah go on. Recently someone ghosted me 28 mail, had two great dates and he wrote to me afterwards free on Friday for date number three hashtag three. Hashtag bang bang. I said yes of course

we discussed some food options and plan to go to the aquarium. Then we started talking a bit about this TV show we're both watching and how good it is. I asked him who's your favorite character or who his favorite character is. I know what you're gonna say. What? He watched the next episode without her. He left her on read. Okay. I didn't reach out to him for two days because I thought he was busy and then on Friday I asked, hey is our date still on? He reads and no answer. Oh that's fucking rude. His wife was back from holiday. So fuck that shit. I wrote to him. from holiday. So fuck that shit. I wrote to him. Yeah. Hey, it was a lot of fun hanging out with you. But if you didn't want to meet up again, I wish you would have just told me instead of making plans and then ghosting me. We both talked about how we hate wasting

time and how important communication is. So I wish you didn't leave me waiting and wondering what happened either way it was nice meeting you I wish you the best he answered. Shut the fuck up! Yeah that's a really good thing like fuck you how dare you do that to me good luck with your life yeah good girl although it does make her look crazy at the same time no it does oh it does in my eyes let's draw on red for like three days that's not okay okay go on go on at that point she's like hey we're going on that date and she's like he's like really let's see why so he answers hey hi i'm really sorry i feel like I got anxiety suddenly because I feel like I was liking you too fast. Oh shut up you fucking dog. Don't finish this excuse. I also felt

like you were liking me as well and I just couldn't process why you would so easily agree to go on another date with me again I didn't mean to ghost and I'm sorry if I hurt you I feel I'm not ready for a late relationship yet so he's an anxious uh avoidant whatever I feel like she's a good girl i feel like the weight that was resting on my chest got lifted i'm just so happy i made that step and called him out over it i've never done something like that before but boy i'm glad i did there's an edit okay ezak hunt yeah no yeah he is he's out of all that instead of just it that's all bullshit what he just wrote back That's lies lies. No, he did lies. He was checking someone else on tinder, right?

Seeing if that was better than this one is a hinge the potato fucking potato, baby This is a hinge one. All right, you want to know the yeah. Oh There's more than one edit mmm edit Oh, there's more than one edit. Edit! The point of the post, for me at least, was that I created my own closure by calling him out. The moment I pressed send, I just instantly felt better and this is coming from someone who had never done this before.

Anyways, more power to us and hope we all get a better dating done this before. Anyways, more power to us and hope we all get a better dating experience this year. Edit two, yeah. Writing out our last conversation before the ghosting, him. Oh, you know, it would be really fun to watch the new episode together when it comes out next week, me. I'll bring the

pizza and beer until until here it was back-to-back exchanges and after I sent that he took like eight minutes to respond. Right. Okay so it was a longer Him. Fire emoji and heart eyes. That sounds perfect. Do do you think ask me some plot point we talk like 10 minutes about this which is about the finger yeah yeah yeah stranger things yeah yeah me who's your favorite character so far leaves on writ and disappears and that's it yes so actually you can say we had two plans a Friday day at the aquarium and him saying let's watch an episode next week. Yeah, he was talking to someone else and she was better and he got the opportunity to go with them and left the other one on red thinking he could jump back to this bird. But it backfired. That's it. I think good for her. Yeah. No. Nice to meet you, it's not gonna work out.

Moving on. Yeah you you're not who you think you you're making yourself out to be. Yeah you're an idiot. Mm-hmm. And he is an idiot. Massive. Because he asked her for the third date. Why bother? Yeah. Why not wait and see if the second option was coming first before asking the other one for another date it doesn't make any sense silliness silliness so top one says good for you expressing your needs i'm sure it was a gut check for him but clarity is important i'm in a similar situation with someone 32 female who I feel is emotionally unavailable and will have an earnest conversation maybe they mean honest yeah about where we stand this weekend and

then I'll be just a good luck I mean, why even bother if you're feeling that way? Like, don't even fucking bother. But yeah. Right. Go. Last one of the night. Ghosting. I wish people were more honest.

I understand ghosting someone if you haven't met and or maybe only been texting for a short time but after months of texting daily, good morning, texts for three months and then nothing. I know it wasn't going to be serious. We saw each other maybe five times during this entire period, hooked up three of those times. What is so confusing to me is the last time we saw each other he was actually asking questions that weren't just surface level conversations we hadn't had before like where I see myself in the future and my family dynamics. the future and my family dynamics. He even asked me to delete the app that we met on. He asked me how I felt about him and then four days later he ghosted me. I unfortunately got attached and finally with the intention now I'm left, he's left me more confused. I'd like to think he did me a favour

but I'm so confused and sad. I've been single for five years and haven't felt anything for anyone during this time frame. Now it's back to being alone. I'm fighting the urge to reach back out because I know he doesn't care and I'll probably never get back the response that I want or any oh that's really sad yeah good these are horrible it's sad aren't they it's sad that it's sad that it's such a big threat it There's so many fucking people, babe. It seems to be, they go, oh, this is a really good day, let's go on another one. Oh, this is a really good day. How do you feel about me? Oh, actually, I'd say I like you. Blocked. Gone. Yeah. I think if someone went, do you know what? I don't know. I think the thing is as well, like, unless he asked all the stories, maybe those things

didn't match up and that's when he was like, moving on. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. But he should have said something, but then a lot of people haven't got that confidence to be like, I don't think it's going to work out. And maybe he wanted to get his dick wet. she clearly did which is fine like no judgment here But maybe that I can't work out if that's all you want also you need to be clear about that Yeah, but I don't know she was on what I don't know what app it was

She doesn't say but I don't know if that's why she was getting catching feelings or was she catching feelings because of the conversations. Do you see what I mean? Yeah And so OP responds to one where is she? So I'm gonna read that person's comment to see what her respond responses Here is something I tell my clients a confused woman is a hopeful woman Men who are unsure about you or what they want love that you're confused. Why? Because then you're in the same situation he is. Avoiding regret by completely letting go. You may be asking, what is he confused about? He ghosted me, true, but it doesn't mean he won't return, plus you're doing what he wants by reaching back

out to him. Don't do that. It's only going to make things worse. Please trust me if it goes full cycle you reach out because you're confused you want answers you want clarity only he can give you that he knows that that keeps you both hopeful do not do it okay does respond so don't text him I'm hoping you're doing or I'm hoping that you're doing alright at least so don't text him and then it's got in brackets I hope you're doing alright at least maybe that's what yeah that's what oh she wants you to text him no yeah I know I probably I probably shouldn't no I should just continue with no contact right for context about a month into his talking he stopped talking to me for Probably shouldn't. No! I should just continue with no contact, right?

For context, about a month into his talking, he stopped talking to me for a week. Block him! This bitch! I reached out in that time frame and then he came back asking for forgiveness. So she's at that, whoever that fucking person is, is absolutely right. I'm going to say therapist because they said my clients. Mm-hmm. That fucking person is absolutely right. I'm going to say therapist because they said my clients asking for forgiveness saying that he was having family problems. Aren't we all? Aren't we all? Aren't they all? Aren't we all? I didn't quite buy this excuse but I

let him back in. And then this person, they do have a profile, uh, heck no, this dude is out. That's what men want in order to take advantage of you. And then OP did say, you're right, it's only going to hurt me more if I keep reaching out. I think he's done enough damage. They go backwards and forwards. I'm gonna say this for once, a therapist has gone on fucking Reddit. No, it's a dating coach

This person is not wrong Anyway, that's it guys. Best of luck To you all out there. That's the luck to you single people. I think you should all take them I'm gonna start a dating agency. Just walk around go do it Do it and for men fudge fudge Oh, if someone's shouting fudge at me I'd be like nah What if they were standing next to me you'd be like it's not their fault. She told him to say it Don't listen to what she says minge

What would you like minge would you if someone went minge you'd be like yeah I really Would you react to the word mean yes you know I would saying that like care? What did you say? Vagicus, magicus, there you go. That's your core words. So we just got to find the core words. Shocking, shocking, shocking. We could get t-shirts done and I reckon they'd sell, I reckon they'd sell an itsy. Vagicus, magicus. What picture would it be what would it look like a magic hat on a flat fledge a V with a magic and pubicles all different colors so we include everyone magic magic pubes. Right guys and two hands, phagicus magicus. Sorry, stop now. Right, until next time. Be safe, like, follow, subscribe. Ow! Fuck sake! All the time, every time. It hurts my nose. Bye people. Oh oh yeah like, follow, subscribe said that!

Lee send us stories, we want to talk about your faggikas maggikas haha ha!