Middle-aged opinion - I am not a mistake to be corrected

Episode Date: May 28, 2025

Hi everyone, today we’ve taken stories from AITA the arsehole and for once I don’t think everyone is an arsehole loads of different stories for your entertainment. We hope you enjoy today’s podcast. #AmITheArsehole #Reddit #RedditStories #AmITheArseholePodcast

Wow, what do you think of that? What don't you think of that? Well I think that girl has got everything that she needs. Harry said to me yesterday, because I had the orange one on, he goes you might want to change that. I said I actually had the pink one on before that, but thanks. Because where it's warm I just wear my pyjama bottoms and they're cropped up. I'm like, sorry, are you calling me a tramp? The audacity of your child is I it lives mispitches I said to him if you got with a girl and she didn't like me would you

stay with her he goes dad stayed with you I'm like his mum prefers me than him. So bye bye. The audacity of your child. He's weird by it because obviously he's an arsehole all the time but when he's done something or he's accomplished something who does he message me? Who does he send pictures to me? So it's weird. I'm wondering if it's an age thing and he's soon gonna...

They say that they talk to... The people they love the most like shit. Oh, right, well. I mean, we shouldn't really enforce that to be true, but... It probably is. I used to talk to my mum like shit when I was younger. Right let's get into it. Let's get into it. Are you ready? Next up. Hello everyone. Hello everyone and welcome to Middle Aged Opinion. I'm your host Ellie and I'm your host

Emily and today we are looking at am I the arsehole? I know we haven't actually done that in a while No, I feel like they come up a lot though within yes, within reddit. But yeah, this is am I the arsehole? Yeah This is what we're looking at. So I'm gonna get straight into it in Australian for some reason I want to know. Get straight into it in Australian for some reason. Let's go. Okay. Am I the arsehole for not letting my bio dad and his wife adopt me and refusing to comply with family therapy? I feel like we've read this one before. Really? Because it didn't ring any bells when I read it. Got them. You're like, I read that 17 weeks ago.

Right, there's a lot of... when was it? It was put up one day ago. There's a lot of background but I will condense it down for everyone and make it easy to follow. My bio dad walked out when I was a few months old. He and my mum weren't married and the three of us have lived with hold on they weren't married and the three of us have lived with bio dad's parents. There you go. After bio dad walked out, me and my mum continued to live with them. My mum died when I was three. Before she died, she had my grand parents adopt me. She got my bio dad to sign off on it, which he did, and my aunts and uncles said that he was happy to do so.

Grandpa died when I was nine and Grandma when I was 13. Grandma tried to get him to take some interest in me after Grandpa died, but he didn't. I lived with my uncle for a few months until my bio dad fought for custody and won. I didn't know my bio dad at this point. The only time that I saw him was at grandpa and grandmother's funeral. I was almost 14 when I was sent to live with bio dad and his family. I am now 17. I didn't want to live with Bio Dad. I wanted to live with my uncle or any of my aunts and uncles. I knew them. I grew up with them. They were in my life the whole time but Bio Dad, being Bio Dad, won out with a judge who dismissed everything that my therapist had said. Now that I'm here I'm pretty angry at

him for pulling me away from everyone I know and love. Even three years later I am still angry with him. He's married and has five children under the age of 10. All of them have tried to get me to give in and become a part of their family, but I'm not willing to do that. So my bio dad and his wife decided that the three of us need to go to family therapy. They also wanted me to give my consent for them to adopt me. Bio dad tried to adopt me when he got custody, but the judge did listen to me on that and I refused to give my consent. I sit in therapy every week and I don't engage. We've cycled through about seven therapists in two years and they are trying to find someone who can make me engage. They also giving me some more

shit for refusing the adoption. Some of Bio Dad's kids asked me to please be their brother and be adopted into the family. I always tell them that they are their parents and not mine and I don't belong in this family. That I belong with my family. It upsets them which angers Bio Dad and his wife but I won't give in just for random kids. My uncle tried to fight for custody again a few months ago a few months ago but again my wishes were dismissed. I told BioDad if he let me go I might not hate him and his family as much as I do now. He told me he wants me to embrace the family,

not move away and never see them again. My dad's wife's parents are at the house all the time. They've started to scold me over rejecting the adoption and not participating in therapy. I told them to mind their own business a few times. Bio Dad told me that this is unacceptable and I need to stop being this way. He told me he's my real dad and him adopting me

corrects a mistake that he has made. I told him I'm never going to let this happen. The therapist we're currently in session with is also pushing me to accept the adoption even though I don't engage. I'm so sick and I am on a countdown going for my 18th birthday when my uncle comes to get me but am I the arsehole for being stubborn with my position? No. I don't think so Eva. Elaborate. Come on give me more. First off the first thing that literally triggered me, triggered, was this whole getting the kids to say will you be my

brother. Yeah I think they are, they are brothers and sisters whether they're both same parents or not, they have the same dad that makes them siblings so making it so difficult. It's like blackmail. Yeah and the whole pushing for the adoption, why? Why will that then make him your son and not as he is right now? The wording he's trying to make up for past mistakes. Past, that's bullshit, that would have, that would have, no no because essentially you're saying that there are mistakes. 13 years of past mistake you mean before you actually got back into any sort of contact I think he didn't even want the contact. There was no need for him to walk away I found it confusing as well that he clearly isn't part of his family's life like the dad is not part of

his family's life because obviously that is where the son grew up with his mum and the mum died at three and he would have known that and again didn't engage in trying to be a father to the boy from the age of three is upsetting. Right, top comment. Not the arsehole. Absolutely not. This sounds like kidnapping. Your sperm donor is a major selfish asshole. He abandoned you and then just ripped you away from your own family. I cannot believe the courts deemed that okay. I can though because of some of the stuff I've seen that the courts won't happen. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. But the fact that he gave up his rights and that that child has been with that part of the family for 13 years, I just don't see how... It's been allowed. That was allowed.

Because... Because it's not even like he's tried to but he was just pushed out pushed out yeah it's not that the other thing is and the man had fucking how many more kids five more kids yeah and he's been with this boy has been with the biodad's family all these years with the aunts and uncles living with the uncle blah blah blah and now all of a sudden what he wants to be father of the fucking year do fuck off right and now here's everyone ganging up on you and harassing you get that

therapist license number and ask your uncle to report them what they are doing is unprofessional it's bullying right stay Stay strong I hope you don't have to wait too much longer. Everybody agrees that this is very manipulative and very... Oh disgusting. Not to mention that OP's dad probably collects survivor social benefits. Oh right yeah that's right in America if a parent dies the other parent can claim a benefit we've read this before yeah like a death benefit. I hope he needs to check and make sure that it's switched to him when he turns 18 if he's still in school. Interesting. But would he have got that if he gave up all rights to that child because they

weren't married? Maybe that's why he went to court. And then, well yeah, because it would be like say I was the aunt or the uncle and then I took on the child then I would be entitled so yeah Then somebody said it sounds like there may be some Inheritance at stake. This is interesting because people like there's more to this Wonder OP People are people are really like questioning now that this is very odd.

It is very odd. I wonder why he's so interested now or he wants to what? Seem like a model father? No, I don't think he's anything to do with being a model father. I think actually thinking about it being American, there's more to that. I don't understand why the judge is like, yeah, yeah, yeah, go on, I know you lost your mom and then your grandma and your granddad and that's the only world that you know off you go. To this complete stranger who just happened to share.

Who gave up all rights. Yeah. People are saying time to wait it out you're legally being an adult soon and you can make a plan opi did answer he said my uncle is coming for my birthday and he's taking me home so this whole time this poor boy is living somewhere that he doesn't even my aunts and uncles are great i've never stopped appreciating how hard they all fought for me to stay at home that's all he talks about home like it's almost it's almost sad on the dad that he can't grasp

what he's doing out of whatever it is that's going on in his head of whatever it is that's going on in his head. It's just selfish reasons I say, even if it was I'm trying to make amends like but you're not listening to him. If you're listening to him go I really want to build something with you even if it's just a small friendship I want to build something with you and I understand you would rather be there but if you go back there please please can we still communicate but he's not doing that. The boy said to him there's a possibility if you let me go home we can build some sort of future. He said I won't hate you as much. Which is an open door. Which is a possibility. It's a possibility compared to where they are now babe. Like some of those comments are right, it's like he's being held hostage.

So anyway, moving on. Wow. Let's start deep here babe. I do like how am I the asshole. Oh mate, no you're not the asshole my darling. No, not even a little bit. Good luck to you when you turn 18. Not long. And you get to go home.

Go home, no. Can you imagine? It is sad. Am I the arsehole for inviting both of my boyfriend's divorced parents to his college grad without telling him? Okay, go on. I don't know yet. This has been deemed as well. I, 26 female, have been with my boyfriend, 24 male, for around six months. Quite new, very new. We seem to always be on the same page about everything.

We've met each other's families and everything went smoothly. His parents divorced when he was a child, fifth grade, but are both remarried and happy. Weeks ago, he invited me to his college convocation and graduation ceremony. And I said, I'd be there. Each person receives two tickets so it was

going to be me and one other person. I asked who he'd like to bring and he immediately said he'd love to bring his parents but he couldn't pick one. So he thought it was best that just him and I go. I agreed to his choice and was excited. Recently, we had dinner at his mum's and she was asking questions about his graduation. My boyfriend lied saying they only gave him one extra ticket and he'd already given it to me. His mum was visibly upset and I felt guilty about the lie and the extra ticket he wasn't giving to her. I have only been in this picture for six months and this was a huge event for him.

I wanted his mum to be there. My boyfriend has never mentioned much about his parents' interactions now that they are divorced but this one action made me question if they are both moved on and in happy relationships and seemingly on good terms couldn't they both go to the grad and be civil. I spent the next few days thinking over and ended up reaching out to boyfriend's mum without telling him. I explained the situation to her and asked if she would feel comfortable going to the celebration with her ex and she loved this idea. I felt I was doing the right thing so I also asked his dad who agreed.

Honestly I felt like he would love the surprise of both his parents being there but but pulling off this scheme did not go over at all how I thought it would. The grad happened a few days ago and I arranged for his parents to meet him at the front entrance by texting him that I'd arrived there. We were all in on it and I was so excited for them to be together during the event. Ten minutes into the ceremony my phone began blowing up with texts from my boyfriend asking where I was and why I gave my ticket away. I replied that I thought it would be so awesome for both his parents to be there. He was fuming. He told me that he specifically did not want

them here and that he had invited me. I felt heartbroken and apologised but began to wonder if I am an arsehole because I deceived him intentionally. He said I broke his trust, caused awkwardness and made him upset because seeing them together made him devastated instead of happy. While I know my intentions were good, I believe he is being very sensitive about something that honestly could have been a sweet family moment. The last week he the last week he has been so cold to me despite my attempts to make things better. I feel bad for hurting him but his parents said the event was great when I asked them so I feel like this might be a him problem for being stuck in a divorce that happened in the fifth grade.

I feel the only thing that saved her is that at the beginning she said that he said I'd like both my parents to be here but I've only got two tickets and I want you to have one. Now, he basically said, I'd love them to come, but I want you to come. So I don't feel like it was Malice. I don't feel like she's the asshole, personally myself. I feel like best intentions aren't always best intentions, but it really was.

She wanted his parents to be like super proud be there in that moment do you know I mean I don't think she's the arsehole I feel like it was really from a good place I think it was from a good place yeah and you're right he did say oh I'd like them to but yeah I've only got two tickets what did reddit say she's the asshole oh really interesting go on. Deemed asshole look at that nice red asshole oh let's hear why maybe I'm missing something so top comment you're the asshole it wasn't your decision to It doesn't matter if you feel he made the right call or not. It's your job to support him in the moments and stand with

him, not against him. My parents get along great, even through separation, but if you invited them to my event without telling me, it would 100% be the last thing you did as my girlfriend. You might not know of some odd dynamic or past event that makes this miserable for him. I still don't feel like it was from Malice. Maybe she was the asshole for doing it without his consent but that's what I'm saying. That one statement at the beginning just makes me feel like she was like, I really want them here, but because of me they can't be.

What do you think? I mean, she did reply. Go on. I did a bit of research beforehand and it seems the voice was amicable. No cheating, no betrayal, just fell out of love. But I can see how this can still be an issue. I didn't think of, thanks for the comment. Then they said a bit of research. What gave you any right to do that? It was literally none of your business. You just needed to respect your partner's wishes and support them. You majorly overstepped here. Making decisions about someone else's family dynamics

without their consent is never okay. I said, he hasn't dumped dumped her he's just pissed off. She hasn't said but yeah he seems just pissed off at the moment. You're making yourself sound worse you've been so selfish and horrible you don't even see it this is such a big personal thing for your boyfriend and you made it all about yourself hmm I don't think she did. I can't see what they're all seeing. This one I don't. You wanted him to be like oh my god you're so great this is so cool. No it's not, it's messed up. I think it came from a good place and it backfired. Massively backfired because

even though there was nothing bad that happened for them to split up as a child in a separated family it possibly could have been really traumatizing for him. Listen she she overstepped I get it I just don't it's just not that it there everyone's making that like it was malicious and she was only thinking of herself I don't believe that yeah a bit of research girls stay in your damn land she's not your decision it wasn't her decision no it wasn't his graduation yeah he chose her yeah the other thing as well she did make sure before inviting both of them that there was not going to be any drama.

But then people are like, what gives you the right? I don't know, I just don't think she's... I don't think... It does not matter. He still chose not to invite them when he could have himself and he could have. Yeah. he could have. Instead you let him down by not attending yourself and overstepping a major boundary by managing his relationship with his parents. You are only six months in and you already have the attitude of you know better about his life, his history, his feelings about his situation. I don't think she's the asshole. She overstepped, that's it. Oh, don't she thick skull there. Get it through your thick skull.

I think your research skills aren't nearly as good as you thought they were. Oh dear. You keep coming in. I would have deleted ready after that point. That might be the first time that I'm like, not the arsehole when it's arsehole. Do you know that?

She's like, thanks for the comments. This is something I don't have personal experience with. So I think for me, I didn't see how deep this wound can be. Oh, so people are, I've done that, it's too harsh for me, I didn't see how deep this wound can be. Oh, so people are, I've done that, it's too harsh for me. They're proper going in on her being selfish. I don't think it came from a selfish voice. It's all about me. Unless he didn't make that comment.

Unless he didn't actually say, I wish I could have them both, but I want you. Oh, this one's, this is one of the top comments as well. Your relationship will never recover from this. Every time he sees you he will remember your betrayal and how you went out of your way to ruin his graduation for him when he had clearly told you he wanted something else your relationship is over he has just not told you yet and delete reddit yeah I would literally feel like oh my god I'm the worst person ever no all OPs are like like that some reason. Thanks so much! Yeah I definitely realised I fucked up because A, read all these posts, B, he admitted something

to me this morning. His divorced parents were caught having an affair with each other years ago, cheating on their new partners and now have caused problems for his step parents. I've been an arsehole regardless, I think, but I now realize how bad I messed up and why I shouldn't ever do anything like this again. Yes, do better with your next partner. Listen, guys, come on.

She did, it wasn't from, you're all saying it was from a selfish place. I don't think it was. She didn't know that information. you're all saying it was from a selfish place. I don't think it was. She didn't know that information. I don't think it was from a selfish place. I really don't. I think she was like, oh, it'd be really nice to have his parents there at his graduation. She heard that comment. You only do that once.

Right. She heard that comment. I'd love them here, but I want you to come. She probably in her head thought, he really wants his parents here, he don't want to hurt me. Yeah, like I've only been in your life for six months, it makes more sense that they were there and they're amicable. Yeah, I'm going to sit back and let you have this moment with your parents because that's what I want to do for you. It didn't come, like everyone's making out like she's the fucking devil and she's not, like calm down. Ultimately also.

Right. Now she knows better. He wanted her there. fucking devil and she's not like calm down. Ultimately also. Right. Now she knows better. He wanted her there. But the truth is babe, if I had to, if you were getting graduated and you like, you know, I'd love, but you know, or Helen is better. Yeah, no, I'd love my parents there, but you know what, I want you. Yeah. I want you there. In my head I'd think you clearly want your parents there more, but that's the way I think. I don't feel like he gave, I really want my parents there but I want you there. I feel like it was yeah I would like my parents there but I want you there. She has thought to herself it's better that your parents go because we've been together six months, you know your parents have been there your whole life. And he's just known. Yeah it's still, I don't, it wasn't malice, it wasn't, it wasn't malice or self thought

in my opinion, she really thought she was doing something nice. I truly believe that. I know I think she was doing something, I agree with you there but it weren't a place to do so. It was not and she never will again. Ever in her whole entire life. She didn't listen to what he said. But honestly that is proper over the top. I don't think it came from back then.

It's like burn now. Everyone's like burn. Let's fuck this up. How can I get rid of him? I know. Moving on. So aggressive. So aggressive for what it was honestly am I the arsehole for losing sexual interest after being compared to a pedophile what yeah that's what I

thought as well anyway after am I the arsehole for losing sexual interest after being compared to a paedophile? So long story short, my fiance is traumatized about paedophiles for a very good reason. I won't go into it. We have had long conversations the other day about a couple earlier a couple of earlier partners I had when I was 25. These partners were 19 at the time and at the time I didn't see anything wrong with the age gap. Looking back now I feel off about it and was talking to her about this but repeatedly during the conversation she kept referring to them as children and I explained I wouldn't continue the conversation if she continues to do so because it's making me feel uncomfortable. I don't agree with the fact that I dated, slept with them but I certainly wouldn't call myself

a pedo or say that I was sexually exploiting them. The conversation seemed to be heading directly there by the end of it. Cleared up my mindset and everything, but I still feel completely off after it all and having a hard time connecting sexually with my fiance. Am I the arsehole? Is there anything I can do to talk to my fiance about this? I know I should see a therapist. They were over the age of 16, they were over the age of 18, he went like 50 something. Yeah I feel like this is America, I don't know why I just always do. And I don't think 19 and 25 is a massive age gap. I don't think that's awful. I feel like she's got psychological problems. Yeah, like a...

But I wouldn't want to have sex if I was being called a paedophile either. No. Because you're making... There's nothing sexy about that, is there? Like, call the police. Do you know what I mean? Like what is it that you think that I've done? Top comment.

I was a single dad with a six-year-old daughter when I started dating this woman with her own kids. One day she came over while I was doing laundry. I had just walked a full basket of clean clothes upstairs and tossed them on the bed so I could fold and sort things out from wrinkling too much. I invited her upstairs to hang out while I finished and when she saw my daughter's clothes mixed in with mine including gasps, her underwear, she freaked out. She told me that I was sick for having my daughter's undies on my bed while folding. She didn't actually call me a pedo

bed while folding. She didn't actually call me a pedo but it was obvious where this was headed. I don't know what kind of special handling I was expected to use for my daughters laundry but it was a pretty fucked up moment. I broke it off after that a week later. So no OP. You're good for losing interest and I think you'd be better off moving on. Yeah, I feel like I agree. Why would that woman be like, oh my god, does that mean I'm a pa- are you a paedophile? I must be a paedophile. I'm a paedophile because my children's- I think I've still got my son's pantsers shorts since they were young boys pants at first and it

have been in mine and my husband's laundry I wash my clothes with my kids clothes I wash my clothes with my kids clothes and I also fold on the area that I sleep in does that am I the fuck is wrong with people I have no words for people like that someone did reply back that's just crazy if she's got it in her head that there's something wrong with you because you fold your six-year-old's laundry on your bed and where she fold her laundry maybe she's got laundry room oh she was like err povo it wasn't the it wasn't the folding of the laundry on the bed she was like err povo you were 100% right folding our beds towels kids sheets it's weird this is fucking hell people are generally saying walk away yeah i feel like you're done here or she goes to therapy and deals with whatever happens to her something happened

to her but that doesn't mean everybody is a paedophile no and the age gap isn't it's not it's not a big age gap. You're doing too much. Everyone's doing too much tonight, isn't they? That fucking slag in the last one. Oh my god. It's so weird, honestly. Right, go on. All right.

I'm out of the arsehole for confronting my mum? Yes. For asking my best friend about hiring me a prostitute? Okay. For fuck's sake. Everyone's doing too much. It's too much. For a Friday.

So this has been deemed as well. I'm 32 male. I have been seeing for most of my life. It bothers me sometimes, but it never keeps me awake at night. I work all day, so I don't usually attend the visits at my house. One day my childhood friend, 32 male, and other friends came to visit and my mum attended them. I heard some awkward laughing from my room. I work from home office but didn't pay much attention to it. When I finished my work and went downstairs to greet them, my best friend and other one and another one asked me to come and talk to them in private. Talk to them in private. Little weird but I go along with it. Turns out my mother asked them if

they know of any prostitute they could hire so I'd get laid. She did this in front of all my friends with me being absent. I felt massively embarrassed and angry but I hanged with them until they left. Later that night I confront my mum about it telling her left. Later that night I confront my mum about it telling her why the fuck would she ever say such things in front of my friends. She replies with oh don't be dramatic they're just they're just your friends it's okay. I tell her no some things can't be said in public like that especially about your son's sex life it makes me look desperate for it. Then she started babbling about how sex is good for me and that she's worried I'm lonely. I appreciate her concern but this wasn't it. I told her to never do that again and she got upset as if I was attacking her for doing a good deed

I'm in am I the arse already no what the fuck so the mum is like oh David any prozies you know that might want to come and fuck Richard I'm worried he's lonely. This is the weirdest Reddit we've ever done. What the fuck? I'm worried you're lonely. So let's get you a prostitute. With STDs and stuff. Like, arrange a night out guys. Yeah, Dicky needs to go on a night out.

Yeah, let's go partying and... What? That's not what I was going for. Yeah, well, the mum's clearly interested in these sex like weird too much weird too much weird no go on participant one are you ready for this no what is wrong with these comments here you're here? You're totally not It's totally not the asshole. This is completely inappropriate Behavior by your mom your sex life is private thing and while she could talk to you private

About it and voice her concerns is none of a business to embarrass you in front of other people and try to arrange prostitutes for you against your will. You should probably get your own place and leave your mother behind. I mean at the age of 32 maybe it is time to leave home. You didn't see me sending Ernie up to Essex to my Sunday job. He was lonely. Oh mate. Don't worry, Gita will be there in 20 minutes. Fucking hell. Major, popular subreddit, their AI responses, it's supposed to... Oh, I don't know what that's about. It's inappropriate for anyone to hire someone for sex on someone else's behalf.

That has expressed no desire for it. Plus it's illegal. Yeah. expressed no desire for it. Plus it's illegal. Yeah, not the arsehole but it looks like you live with your mum. In this case you're still her little boy and well there's some unhealthy dynamics to prevent something like that in the future. Get your own place and well your own life that's rude might be at the core of why she's pushing him. Listen it's time to move out it is time to move out because she's crossed the line now. To marry a prostitute? I just listen he's probably just getting on working really hard not thinking much about anything else I don't think he's mooching off his mom. He's probably, you know, just doing his thing.

And I think that, ugh. Like mom? No, it's too much. She was trying to be like one of the lads with his mates. It's too much. It's far too much. It is a line that has been crossed. Yeah.

All of you tonight, you're doing too much. Right. Calm down. Am I the asshole? How do I break up with my boyfriend? You're an arsehole for asking Reddit. So I am 18 female and my boyfriend 29 male have been together. 18? 18 female and boyfriend 29 male. Okay practically 30. Yeah? You have a problem with this age cap.

Okay that's a bigger age cap than the last one. Mine and Paul's is bigger and have been together for about four months. Not that big a deal. Oh I'm not naffed. Yeah. She's a meadow. And in these four months, I've tried to break up with him about three times. Sorry. She's not trying very hard is she? And I don't want to come off as a donkey, but I'm not ready for our relationship. And I've told him this and he just wants me to be better. I want to experience

the I want to experience life more before settling down and being truly better for someone. I want to be better for myself first and he doesn't seem to understand or want to understand. And now it feels like if I break up with him, I'd be the donkey. And I don't like him. I just feel like it's lust. And I don't know the true meaning of love. And I'm not sure if he does, but I don't wanna continue this cycle anymore.

I just wanna end things with goods, but anymore. I just want to end things for good, but every time I do something to try end it or explain I want to end our relationship, he acts like a good boyfriend and then tries to blame everything on me or sometimes everything on himself till I apologise or tell him he says we're all good and I don't know what to do anymore.

I like want to spend time together but we recently had deep talks and when we do we argue and he learns he leans on me heavily emotionally and I can't take it anymore. What do you think? I mean what has she actually done to try and actually stop the relationship? Listen if someone's saying to you after four months yet, it's not working for me and He's like he sounds a bit like a narcissist Because he's got twisting it. Yeah And telling her she needs to do better. Do you know what? Be the bad guy in this one. Go, do you know what? I accept that. I'm the

bad guy. Good luck with finding a better person because I'm not it and block, delete and disappear. I agree. I think that she is trying to be too nice and she needs to be like you're right I'm all those things yeah and that's why we're just gonna work. Just call it a day, yep I'm everything you're saying I am, I am the clown in this, I'm the bad guy, I am the demon and let's call it quits and then block so you get out of there top comment says you don't need anybody's permission or consent to end a relationship If you don't want to be with him for any reason then end it Tell him that it's over. No hints. No roundabouts. It's over It's not a two-way conversation block him via phone social media

Don't try to stay friends hey she doesn't need to how long long was it they've only been together for months you owe him nothing right take it from an older lady 40 yeah felt rude do you feel offended yeah that that you're too young for a serious relationship with someone who is 10 plus years older than you and after four months it's almost certainly not love on either side this day and age yeah I agree you're too young there's too much out there for you guys. Go and live. But yeah, no, I agree with you.

It's just like ridiculous, but I do feel like he does feel a bit narcissistic. Like he's manipulating. Yeah. Which a lot of people often do in relationships. Well, she said that. Someone said, girl, please ghost his ass. I don't know if they're American or not but. Absolutely. Yeah they were. Donkey ass. I don't know why she kept saying donkey. Because she didn't want to say ass. Oh. Because an ass is another

type of donkey. Okay I know that but I don, okay, so she's polite. She just was being polite. Yeah, everyone is like delete block delete delete delete delete. I mean we are in the play Yeah, he may know where you live, but you just called the police at that point, but we are in the Good old age of deleting block. Yeah ghosting is a real thing yeah and it's it's actually okay it's not okay but it's okay throw this man away stop talking to him block him block him block him everyone's like nah nah you're not the asshole no it's it's done move with your life. It's like fully done. Save yourself. Before he tells you that he wants you to have his children and you feel obliged to.

Yeah, it's a hell. No. Yeah. Right. Am I the arse off for telling my co-worker her kids are none of my business? No, because they're not any of her business. Really? Yeah. are none of my business. No, because they're not any of our business. Ready? Yeah.

School holidays are coming up and I have a coworker panicking as she left it too late to book vacation slots. My company had a rule where no more than three workers can leave at the same time for vacation. I already filled in my vacation slot months ago as I haven't taken any in nearly a year. I'm single and unmarried and in my 30s. Company HR told my co-worker that her only way

to get her vacation is to get one of us who already had our vacation time approved to trade with her. And considering out of the three of us whose vacations were approved I'm the only female guess who my co-worker approached for this trade? You! She tried explaining gently at first that her kids six and four years of age apparently were really looking forward to going to Disneyland and that everything is already booked and if I can give up my vacation spot for her. I told her no as I too already made vacation bookings. It's a solo vacation but I'm not about to tell her that. She got really pushy and kept on trying to

insist I give her my vacation stop saying that my kids would be so disappointed. I blew up at her after the fourth or fifth time telling her that her kids being disappointed is none of my business. I didn't exactly keep my voice down so at least half the office heard and my co-worker turned red and left. One of my co-workers, 25 Mal, who sat to my side who had heard the entire conversation later told me that while he gets where I'm coming from I could be a lot gentler and I didn't get how hard mothers get it. Am I the arsehole? Right, first of all she was gentle, she was gentle to start with but she weren't grasping it. Oh my kids, my kids, bitch knew she had kids. Right. Why would you book a vacation without booking the vacation off work? Right, so before the vacation was allocated she already

knew that she had had kids because she'd had them years prior. She knew that the the time off school and that was coming up and she still didn't book the vacation so because she forgot. But you went ahead and booked an actual holiday. Yeah there is no holiday. That's stupidity. Yeah I don't care like I agree it's not really her problem and just because people don't have kids don Yeah, I don't care. Like, I agree. It's not really her problem. And just because people don't have kids don't mean they don't have lives as well. Come on now.

Not the arsehole. No. Why didn't she ask one of the others? Yeah, well, because obviously she thought she could manipulate her. But she was like, yeah, yeah, you're bad for having kids. Yeah, I'm not being funny, but if you cry at a man, she might have got a better way.

She probably would have done. I don't. Unless he was married and had the same situation Yeah, you're bad for having kids. Yeah, I'm not being funny, but if you cry at a man, she might have got a better way. She probably would have done. I don't. Unless he was married and had the same situation going on because they're going on their kids. Right, and like I say, I do feel like she was gentle to start with. I do feel like she was trying to be like,

I'm really sorry, but I've already booked. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, and who cares if it's a single travel or when she's going away with people, who cares? Yeah. At the end of the day, you did what you needed to do. You booked your holiday through work and you went and booked yourself a holiday.

She even felt like she couldn't say, I'm going on a solo trip, which is sad that she's being made to feel like she can't even say, I'm going away for me. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Right now, just a very relaxing trip at the oh no that's what she was saying to that. Not the arsehole I'm also child free by choice and arrange my vacations very early to make sure they are approved because that's how

you do it. Yeah. Her inability to manage her life is not your problem to fix. Also, who makes reservations for a vacation before they have the time off approved? Co-workers suck. Enjoy your vacay. PS solo travel is just as valid as family travel and support local economies in ways that family business does not. As someone who works, work depends on travel and hospitality. This is a huge thing actually. Are you comfortable sharing any exciting plans for your vacay? Don't let the haters get you down. Yeah, staying at home painting the bedroom. No, just a very relaxing trip over a resort in Bali. Nice.

With snorkeling and sightseeing. I haven't been there since I was 18. Sounds amazing. Oh, this is Aussie. Australia. Yeah, Bali's like they're going to Spain for them. Across the waters. Cheap flights and everything.

Nice. I wish ours was, I wish ours was quite cool. It's not cheap to go to Spain anymore either. It's not cheap to go to Bali either. No, it's not cheap to go anywhere. Everybody's working hard. Yeah. Are you happy for me to finish? Go on. Am I the asshole? Yeah. Am I the asshole for telling my boyfriend who is 100k in debt that he needs to make more money? For some context my boyfriend of almost 5 years, 27 male, has a bachelor's degree in psychology which took him five years to get. Well done brother. That feels like a dig. I think well done brother.

Yeah. Good job. From that he's managed to rake up a hundred K in private loans. Listen, university college courses are fucking pricey. They don't, they ain't cheap. Jobs in his field don't pay much without a master's and I think he makes around 20 pounds an hour now, but he lives at home and doesn't pay any bills

but his student loan, which is a heftyy amount but his parents also give him a little money every month to put on top of it. He's been out of school for four years now and he hasn't made much progress in his career which I try not to put much pressure on him with the way the world is and has been for the last few years. He says he wants to get his masters, but he hates school and would have to take out more loans. I, 27 female, am very close to paying off my student loans My 27 female am very close to paying off my student loans due to the fact that I make close to 70k and am financially responsible.

I recently asked my boyfriend if he could go on vacation in a likely manner and he got attitude saying he has too many things to pay for. Then he said it must be nice to be an adult and make money to pay off your loans to which I replied he's the one staying at a low paying job and not making and not asking his parents for more help then he replied saying fuck off you called me an asshole for saying that I personally don't think what I said warrant warranted for that response but he hasn't talked to me for two days am I the asshole the way that was written yeah I felt you were a little bit arsehole I feel like a little bit judgy yeah judgy arsehole

judgy arsehole he she's already said unless he's got his master's don't feel like these guys are compatible I don't feel like these guys are compatible. I don't feel like, I feel like she's always wanting more. Yeah. What is with the voice? I'm not, I'm not. Yeah. I'm not okay with it. Yeah.

Not okay with it. He's obviously got a job, but she's great. Yeah. He's done his bachelor's great. Yeah, he needs to get his master's. He took five years. It's not a need but obviously it does help when you want to boost that money. He gets, you said, £20 an hour. Is it twenty dollars? Is the S with the line for it? It's a dollar. It's a dollar. So twenty dollars which doesn't sound tiny and he lives at home and

his parents are help paying off his thingy bob. Which is really kind of them. Yeah but he just can't afford to fuck off abroad and she's like it took him five years. Top comment. A little bit but his response to you was worse money fuck off I think I always say money is a huge factor in relationships and it doesn't sound like you two are compatible I said that I'd rethink the relationship especially after he spoke to you like that come on bitches listen she just put him down right there she just put him down why is it okay for her to put him down that's what I'm not grasping it's not okay how she's spoken

about him and because he told her to fuck off oh yeah I tell it as well there's already resentment from there from both sides and this is a huge factor when you don't like the person fuck off move on move on move on sounds like he has no ambition are you fucking all right what is going on that I'm completely tonight not on the side of what Reddit's saying? Hold on, hold on. What's more? What's more than that? There's got to be more than he sounds like he's got no ambition.

I don't understand. Yeah. Move on. Sounds like he's got no ambition. I disagree. It took him longer to get his... It sounds like it took him longer than it should have, an extra year maybe to get his bachelor's degree, which not everybody finds it really easy in education, right? And it may take people longer than others. He's paying off his loan, which is what he said he's doing. He may be earning £20 an hour and he's like, do I go for my master's? It might be too much for me I already owe a hundred K like you lot too much mate. I don't enjoy school so I actually even be able to complete it and actually he's got a job you can excel in your job yeah he's not working in McDonald's no offence but he's not gone and done that course and then gone off and done something completely irrelevant to.

Somebody did ask this and went that's not true. He has a long time goal. He lives with his mum and dad rent free and let them subsidise his life. Eventually marry his girlfriend and pawn the debt on to, no they're not defending him. They're not they're not defending it they're not i was wrong people pawn the debt on debt onto her when they're married live off op let her handle paying god what is i don't think so my god uh-oh i mean all these posts i knew that i've read and these are like and then someone said a guy with a degree has no ambition question mark so psychology isn't the easiest and he wants to go for his masters 20 20 an hour is still like 38 grand a year

he he's lashed out and got some pushback. I agree. I think you're all fucking out of your minds The point you are me he went to College is college there in it not university. He went to college our equivalent of university Which is no easy feat to to to learn psychology again a very difficult to learn psychology, again a very difficult study and you're all fucking slagging him off someone did the calculations, 38 grand a year is not fuck all he's paying his debt back and you are all being fucking assholes why are you necking guys?

yeah rein it in you guys are not okay today yeah it's not okay and then people are comparing how much they paid for their psychology today no one cares no one cares at the end of the day maybe maybe he's dyslexic maybe he had to do an extra year because he didn't get the requirements in his however your schooling works before he went to college yeah maybe maybe it's like a year out because yeah because of an audience or

you know self-think any who's i feel like we've been really oh then somebody said psychology is one of the easiest degree degrees to get so I take it you've got that degree as well. The fuck is wrong with him? With people? No, you're all out of control. You've lost your mind. Listen, I feel like I would have said fuck you too if someone was putting me down.

Yeah. With how I earn my money or the fact I actually even earn money. Yeah, I feel like you're ripping him apart and making him out to be shit and he has studied really hard I'm assuming to get a degree. I mean you're all saying psychology is easy, clearly indicates you have no idea about psychology because actually you're learning all about the brain and different fucking mental health problems. So no, I wouldn't say that it's easy.

I can't, I can't, I can't tonight anymore because there's nobody on here going. And no, I should have got you Corona. Yeah, what the fuck is wrong with people? He probably feels shit about himself that he's on a low wage and he's scared of studying and getting more and then what then what it'd be on £40 an hour and you'll be like well he's got 140k debt now and he's only on £40 an hour is it ever gonna be good enough? I don't know, there's much support happening here. Oh someone said dude has

fucked up his life. What? Doing what? 20 pounds an hour is fast food minimum wage here in CA. Dude has fucked up his life. If you want to help him fix that, that's on you. But you are gonna be a financial mess for decades. Wow. There is not much love going around tonight. No, I can't believe we're slagging someone off who's gone and got a degree in something that they're clearly passionate about. You know money isn't everything. Money's helpful but money is not everything. If you aren't happy in a job then it's gonna go on forever. If you're happy in your job it's like another day of gloriousness. I just it's too much. It's much no it's been awful tonight no I'm not happy no thank

you for joining in like follow subscribe this um there's plenty more of that to come I'm sure. Your mum! Fucking bitches! Leave that poor boy alone! Fucking arseholes! Like, follow and subscribe for more content! Byeeeee!