Middle-aged opinion - I just don’t get it !

Episode Date: May 22, 2024

Stories from AITA arsehole and true off my chest, leaving us confused with society at large

Wow. What do you think of that? What don't you think of that? I think that girl is going to be the chief of staff. In the begin, in the beginning. In the beginin'ing. In the beginning. What? Fuck off.

What am I doing? He's the leg. That's a sticker. That's a sticker. It doesn't look like it's your leg. It looks like you're like, look at this face leg. That's something to do with one of my stories, you know. One hour and twenty five minutes sleep. Fucking pain. Look. What's the matter with us? I don't know, we've done half a fucking go off, don't we? Right. It's you. It's actually you. It's a no, isn't it? You talk a lot.

Right. I can't get that out of my head either. Come back. Come back. Come back. Oh, do you know what? I think I just pressed... I don't know.

I've got to check I've pressed play now. I want to go to cinema. To watch what? There's a scary one coming out. Who's taking me on Tuesday? How romantic. What are you watching? Planet of the Apes. What's the new scary one? There's a scary one and I thought oh I don't know if I like it but I do want to see it. I love scary. It depends what it is. And I haven't been to cinema to watch a scary one and i thought oh i don't know if i like it i do want to see it i love scary it depends what it is and i haven't been cinema to watch a scary for you let's have a look um right so you've got you know that was great that was oh they've got another one

one whole thing should I go on with you are you sure it's out yeah it was it's yeah I'm sure I cannot remember oh tarot yes I think it was tarot what's that got to do with the doll I don't know there is a different one that I was looking at but I saw tarot being Yes! I think it was Tarot. What's that got to do with a doll? I don't know. There is a different one that I was looking at but I saw Tarot being advertised about how you don't use other people's Tarots. Yeah you don't touch other people's Tarot cards. This is it. It's really good. And basically what I saw with Tarot was she laid your cards out and the character on that card came out and said bitch you've gone down

no they were fucking scary characters yeah i'm fully into it like nightmare shit it'd give me nightmares anyway and i'll be like get over it bruv can you stay with me your bed we're gonna fall through this bed. I'm waiting for it. Paul broke some planks in our bed. Oi, oi. I fell over. So after I finished laughing... I'm sorry you're

married to such an arsehole. I was like, you alright? Good. I do check he's alright. I do check he's still breathing and then when I realised I was like for fuck's sake you nearly died

no you broke my bed slabs priorities it's just another expense isn't it honestly so inconsiderate can't even get insurance claims. Right. So we've got to do...

Do you know what I sometimes like people? Like Beavis and Butthead. I mean, I've watched this a couple of times and we're like... And I need to find images of them too to put up against this I actually went to the cinema to watch that

no you did I did and Titanic was out at the same time went to watch that as well yeah I went with the girls to watch that and as she let Jack go

I think one of us farted and we all laughed and the people behind us were like... I watched this woman. I don't even know who it was. But this woman on an interview was really angry. Why? Because she let him go.

She said, bitch can't take it in turns. On the door. There was room. First of all, there was room. They could have tried to balance. Second of all, bitch could have taken it in turns. There was room. First of all, there was room. They could have tried to balance. Second of all, bitch could have taken it in turns. There was room. Yeah. I think they were talking about bringing out

a Titanic 2. Why? Well, they're saying... I feel like they died the end. No, he died. Yeah, but so did Ariel Fucker. Yeah, but what they're saying is in this one, Jack never died. And it's like... No. he died yeah but so did every other fucker yeah but what they're saying is in this in this one Jack never died

and it's like no it's too late it's too late .co.uk like 20 years on since that first movie yeah

and I don't know what 100 years no I'm being dramatic I don't know when the Titanic went down oh when did the Titanic

go down don't ask me in the 60s very long time 50s I'm going to say 40s it went down don't ask me in the 60s very long time 50s 60s I'm going to say 40s

it went down a long fucking time ago let's have a little quick google it went down it's gone oh oh have you moved on

where shut up this is like manifest you watch manifest number two's out but this is what I'm saying

so I watched number one. Helen said they've only got one and four out. We were well off. And I'm like, I'm... 14th of April, 1912. Oh, they're definitely dead. A hundred percent. Yeah, go on anyway.

Yeah, so Manifest came out. One. I loved that. And they released four. Yes. So Helen watched one and four going, it didn't really make sense. I'm like, that's because it's one and four. She's like'm like that yeah don't watch four what are you watching it on Netflix but they've released two I've watched one I've seen I've seen well I'm sure I've seen them all I'm sure I've seen them all I don't I ain't

or when they first came out two two has come out oh it's over there fuck's sake it's twice I've done that now yeah hold on go on our one we get to the podcast yeah but we're just we're doing stuff we're doing our thing literally just scroll what was

I'm not going back to nothing I don't want to see half a shard I think someone was shaving there for chai thai I don't want to see half a shed. I think someone was shaving there for chai-chai. I don't have time for the bullshit that comes up on this.

We're going to so watch that later. Yeah, we're talking about Little Reindeer again. Little Reindeer. Yeah, that's going to be on. Baby Reindeer. Potato, potato. Small, isn't it? That's on YouTube, so I'm going to watch that later as well.

It's everywhere. Oh, my God. And I'm all into this cancelling all the celebrities and blocking them as well. I'm fully, fully into it, fully doing it. Is that her? Baby reindeer's real-life Martha has gone head-to-head with celebrity interviews. But she didn't. She doesn't look.

She looks the same as the woman in the film. Yeah do you know what someone was saying to me? There's no way that she's like a big girl or in any way like unattractive because why would he say all these things and she'd be attractive because everybody would be like well

what's your problem? She's attractive so he's made her out to look a certain way. There are pictures of her, like real life pictures of her when she was younger. There's nothing wrong with her. Except obviously her mental stability. Yeah, there is that. But she is.

I actually think she's more of a compulsive liar than anything else. I don't know if I was agreeing. Even the pins are turning out. Can we show them? That's why I want to do the one where we add the videos and then we, if you can see that, it's a blue bin identifying as a green bin.

Why not? But that's what I was saying to you, I want to do the videos. I know, identify as a brown bin. Where we can have the split screen, the video, and then us reacting because we're so immature. We send each other about 100 in a day. No, rephrase that.

We send each other. No. All right, I send a lot and she responds with a lot on TikToks that are just really stupid. I just opened 42 messages from you on TikTok. Tell them about the fish one. That wasn you on TikTok. Tell them about the fish one. That wasn't on TikTok. That was on TikTok.

I sent that to you. What, the fish? Yeah, the one where it's the longest breathing thing underwater. That was on TikTok. I only sent on TikTok. I thought that was in China then. Yeah, we need to get help. That's why I carried on scrolling like no it's not for me i realized it

was a hallway because sometimes i think these films and everything else like that are actually preparing us for weird stuff that's something like all the aliens and stuff and the other you know like the simpsons yeah well you can't explain that how do they know everything simpsons. Well, you can't explain that. How do they know everything? The Simpsons have been spot on with everything. Right, and then you've got... Weird. You know the... Because you know I'm convinced that a zombie apocalypse could happen. That's why you want us to go and do one of those trial run things,

because that's what we're calling it. I reckon I'm going to survive. I do. I reckon I'd survive. I'd just throw you all in front of the zombies. I will go outside, I'll be all right. Will Smith, and I'm trying to think what that film was called. Where he had the dog. You know what I'm talking about. They're doing a number two of that.

Oh I thought that film was great. That's one of the best zombie films. It was such a long time ago so why would they do another one now? I know, he tried and gave him his career back after he slapped Chris Rock. Yeah, I was going to say that was great. one now. I know, he tried and gave him his career back after he slapped Chris Rock. Yeah, I suppose there was that. I mean, he ruined

his whole career and then all that scandal with his wife. Oh, I didn't

read any of it. Yeah, well. You know what, I'm like, I don't

read nothing that I'm not on podcasts or anything. I'm like, well, what's

everyone talking about? Then apparently someone's come out, you know all this

stuff with P. Diddy? I've heard it, but I don't know. He's a child predator, basically. Yeah, I mean... But this is to do with Bieber as well, right? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Usher. Yeah, there's... No, it's Usher you're upset. Justin, you're like... No. No, yeah. There's so many things that are coming out, right?

And who did I say? Who did who? Yeah, well, no. Will Smith. So someone's come out that worked for Will Smith and said that he was having sex with another famous bloke or whatever and that they're also part of of all this like swinging and all this sort of thing because obviously i mean all this stuff is coming out and i think that everyone

from our childhood you said this it's like a wrong end that's because we didn't used to have social media no it can't be it can't they can't hide it like they did when we were young can they right am i going first can we say hi again oh yeah i'm just like how long is this before i probably go into it oh what are you reading just uh just true of my chest i didn't say where i got my phone last time right oh i just i read i read just what you're from. The other one was bitch. Total bitch. So I quite liked what I said.

I should have written it down. What? Welcome to Middle-Aged Opinion, where we can have a laugh and a giggle. I'm your host, Ellie. And I'm Emily. And we are going to be looking at true off your chest true off your chest um I'm saying that I don't know whether mine is going to be that yeah I think mine might be in

yeah so when we do podcasts we tend to record two hours so we've got two podcasts um do they need this information yeah because I was just going to say, before you interrupted me, that today, like in this two-hour podcast recording with Malfate, that we have decided to just go for stories that we've enjoyed finding. What she said. Yeah, so now do you think they needed that? No.

No. No. In. No. In the beginning. Right. You go first. You go first. So, yeah. Bitch.

Right. So, true off my chest. Really? Is that good, yeah? Yeah. I mean, just the title. Just the title. Right. In the Yeah. I mean, just the title. Just the title. Right.

He love me. Get it? I can't stop it. Right. Chew off my... Ew, brother, ew. Ew, brother, ew. Right.

Chew off my chest. Okay, okay, okay. Chest. Chew off my chest. Right. Tried anal sex with my husband last night i'll put my cup back down fuck's sake you could have warned me the way you went nope that's gonna store everywhere here we go right

that's what now you know why i started laughing because it said anal sex tried anal sex did you like my little that that song that we all didn't know that we needed to hear about your anus yeah I'm so mature right

tried anal sex I listened to a TikTok earlier where someone rung 911, being America, and he had had the whole conditioner bottle put up his arse. Yeah. My wife put it up me. I'm a little surprised it stuck.

And then he sleazes. You hear it fall out. He goes, oh, it it's out where's the cat or i've defined it sent it maybe i did send it i thought it was well funny anyway god sorry right back to this true off my chest or off my ass right tried anal sex with my husband last night odd as it may sound I feel our relationship has strengthened anal sex is something I have never had too much of an interest in says every woman everywhere mostly because of pain awkwardness I was always terrified it would hurt but also part of me felt like anal sex is degrading

last week my husband and i were talking about sex fuck it this and he said anal is probably on his as it is i thought about it i don't know why i stopped then I thought about that and told him fuck it I'm down and we did try it literally in the end it didn't hurt as bad as I was scared it as I was scared that it would however literally however it also didn't feel that good it's not my cup of tea. It's been my eye water. No stop it. Wincing. My butt is clenching. Well you know what it's like when you're a little bit constipated that's painful enough and it was fine and I enjoy seeing my husband having fun oh it's just making me laugh but this but for time and preparation we did the end result wasn't worth it in my opinion it's an interesting sensation but there's a hole right next to it that works just fine for me thanks very much

however my husband's attractiveness during the whole time was wonderful he was sorry i'm just a bit like um he was listening to my body for signs that I was in pain or discomfort and even the slightest shift or sudden exhale would make him stop and ask if I was okay he was very clearly into it and really liked I don't know what's coming. I'm like a child. But the way he was putting my comfort above it all just made me realise how much he loves me. Why are you shouting? My kids are next door. Stop.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He loves me and cares about how I feel. loves me and cares about how I feel even when he climaxed the amount of oh oh I don't know I'm like a two-year-old the amount of restraint he was um was astounding imagine having an intense orgasm that being the the second most important thing happening in the world afterwards I just cuddled up close to him and generally felt physically incapable of letting him go. In case he's done it again. No no stay near the front. Let's hug. Oh that's nice. Where are your hands? No, no, just keep your hands up high. I felt a level of trust and admittedly I had never even conceived before or knew was...

You can't conceive like that babe. I never had... That's not how it happens. I never conceded. You know when someone when someone yeah you know what I'm trying to say if there was any doubt in my mind I can trust this man with anything now I strive to love him like he loves me

and then bitch had angle and she's like we're so in love like they're one now I actually went like a child and a little bit embarrassed because you were reading it I was just like

because I don't really understand how she knows he loves me I feel like she's just given him the last thing on his bucket list that she could give him and now she's done for stop comment wholesome story wholesome stories. Bleurgh! Oh.

Wholesome stories. Please say it again. And then someone said, I bet that made their whole week. Anal jokes aren't funny. Oh, I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. Oh mate.

Hole in one. Holy moly. A lot of people are like what? What? Okay. I'm not going to say anything. I'm just going to say that I'm not going to say anything. I'm just going to say that I'm not going to say anything.

I'm just going to say that I'm not going to say anything. I'm just going to say that I'm not going to say anything. I'm just going to say that I'm not going to say anything. I'm just going to say that I'm not going to say anything. I'm just going to say that I'm not going to say anything. I'm just going to say that I'm not going to say anything. Holy moly! A lot of people are like what? What? Okay. You win the internet. You win. This got my phone almost shit my pants in bed. I was laughing so hard. Oh it had me wincing. Me as well. Like my butt was like... Oh no. Wrong way. Why look at the look of my response? Yeah he made my eye water too. But not like... Someone said unexpectedly wholesome.

Someone said unexpectedly wholesome. Honestly, I need to grow up. True. Remind me if I've read this one. I don't know because it's of the child. Because it had anal written in it. You're like hee hee hee hee. You're such a child. I bet that's what she says.

I feel like I've got a lot of anal. I feel like I've got a lot of anal. I feel like I've got a lot of anal. I feel like I've got a lot of anal. I feel like I've got a lot of anal. I feel like I've got a lot of anal. I feel like I've got a lot of anal. I feel like I've got a lot of anal. I feel like I've got a lot of anal. I feel like I've got a lot of anal. I feel like I've got makeup everywhere I am I need to grow up Honestly, I'm two.

Look. Is it everywhere? No. Good. No longer on my eyelashes. Oh, dear. That was brilliant. It was wholesome.

I loved it. Yeah, I'm a little bit confused. I don't really understand how... That made her feel closer to her husband. I don't really like all the things he's done in their marriage. I don't know. Unless she's saying because he was so careful to not hurt her. She made it sound like he was very attentive to her. Yeah.

Which I suppose is lovely. And maybe he's not like that during normal sex. So maybe that's why like that during normal sex so maybe that's why Maybe. Normal sex. But of all the things to strengthen your relationship and know that your man loves you That I wouldn't think would be It's not gonna fucking strengthen her arse though is it?

It's gonna get all loosey goosey I literally chose that because of the title She better not do the marathon after that. I'm not doing the marathon after seeing that video. Apparently, people doing the marathon lose all sphincter. Sphincter. Sphincter. Like, they lose all muscle control in their bum and just poo themselves

whilst doing the marathon. I'm never doing the marathon. I feel like I've got more control of my arsehole then I feel like I do as well but then why we've had children those men didn't have children and that one of them had dirty men he had liquid arse right because it weren't even poo it was diarrhea first I thought it was blood that's just dirty men right all the way down dirty men and he was like did you see any women like that no dirty men he went i've just completed the marathon i shit myself but it was worth it and i was like it actually wasn't really nothing

it was not it is not the embarrassment oh like the smell embarrassment. Oh, dear. Like, the smell. And like I said, I'll say it again. Did you see any women do that? No. Control your fucking self, man. But one of them had to go to the toilet during it. Which is fine. No, see, I wouldn't like that either.

What, to have to stop and... What are you playing at? It's not me. It's this. Let me put that there. Here we go. Yeah, I wouldn't like to have to stop and and go to the toilet like that because i feel that a lot of people through all their angst and you know they tend to go before anyway i mean i did before we did london to brighton but not there like in the

morning phrase yeah because like you're so hyped up anyway well it's anxiety as well am I going to die your whole body you've got to do it first yeah or you just fucking hold on to it

I wasn't like that before Tough Mudder though no right anyway moving on from that silly story I'm so

vile story but I thought you'd like it I'm sorry lady but I wasn't impressed with your butt story we don't understand how it made

your love closer we don't get it I think that's I almost feel a little bit sad for you I feel like don't share

stuff like that give it to yourself how long have you been married I don't know but I wouldn't be like oh you know

what I've got to do I've got to tell everyone on reddit about my arse love and how we're closer than ever yeah listen

each to their own but it's just it's not it's not for me I'm alright I find it really funny because I'm two it um

I mean but jokes and stuff and fun I laugh all day long at that I get myself in trouble at work just because

the kids will say something and I'm like I'm supposed to be sensible. Anyway I love a butt joke but I just don't know if I want to know your literal ins and outs. That'd be a bit strange if I'm honest. I feel like so many other

things can make you closer but that is I don't see how that's one of them. I think if my relationship was lacking, the first thing I would think of would not be anal. No. I know what's missing. I know what would bring us Weird. Anyway, sorry. Go. Right, I'm going to go with this one. Am I the arsehole? Always. Hold on, let me click on it because I probably won't. Yeah, I've got no fucking safari again. Bullshit. I was supposed to get it ready but I got drawn in to your fucking bullshit story. What bullshit?

It's when that person said that's how to... I thought something funny was going to happen like you know there was a bit of corn or something. It's worse for me. People's comments. Do you remember? It's like when you're sick there's always sweet corn in it. I don't really understand why do you remember that story i can't remember who it was about you remember that story it's

really short um at school yeah gone about i can't remember which girl it was but a girl had basically had anal and the boy was going around saying that he pulled out and there was a bit of... I can't remember who that was but yeah it stuck with me and that is why I'm like Brother, brother, brother. Can you imagine? Could you imagine that story being about you? No. I'd be livid. Who was it about?

I can't remember. I tell you in my head who I reckon it was about. I can't remember. I want to say yes but I can't remember i tell you my head or i reckon it was bad okay oh i can't remember i want to say yes but i can't but you if anyone i don't know or maybe i can't yeah you see what i mean i think yeah it was they're the two girls that come to life somebody not i don't know i'm can't remember, so I'm not doing that. Yeah, double check you can't hear me whispering that when you go through. Was it you?

Literally. But if it's anyone, it's those two. Was it me? It wasn't you. It wasn't me. It wasn't you. I'd remember if it was you. Oh, God, it wasn't you. I'd remember if it was you. Oh, God, it wasn't me.

I'd be like, remember when there was sweet corn? I'd be like, that's why I can't eat anymore. Is it because you're a vegetarian? I really forgot. Let me do this. Go. Let me do this. How long before I stop, like, snotting?

I don't know. Because I'm negative now, but it's still like... Like brain juice. What's left? That's why I find some stories so funny. Because I'm like... It could have been more funny funny i feel like she missed missed i feel like the comments no because she is trying to be like oh we're so in love

but it's the comments for me it's like that comment about it was more likely which i still laugh about now i think about it regularly I think about it regularly. I think about it, I think about that and I think, and I keep thinking how can we incorporate that into a TikTok? Because it like, it made my life better somehow. It really. Now that. Brought us closer. It brought us closer together. We're different people from that day because I'm just, I'm reading that last comment there. maybe we should have said something like that let's make a comment that it was more likely to be a bird than a fish she won't get it she won't get it but we'll be like right am i the arsehole do you want to say what reddit it is from am i the arsehole oh sorry you I the arsehole? Oh, sorry.

You're the arsehole. I am massive arsehole. Listen. Although people don't go in it. No. Anyway. No sweet corn. There's a lady, it's on my Instagram actually,

but there's a lady who makes little clay arseholes and then she puts little faces on them and she personalises them to the people that are ordering them. I like that. Do you know what? They're really cute. You can call an arsehole cute, but they're really good. I will put her in that post

because she's really good. Is it people's arseholes? She's not like moulding off of your butt No it's not a press Oh I don't want it there It's just It's just like a a little

like that with a face in it I'll find it for you Have you seen the woman that gets people's pubic hair sent to them and then she puts them in a ring?

A ring of what? Not a ring piece In a ring A ring What do you mean? So she gets... People send her pubes and then she cuts up the pubes

and then she puts them in like... You know like a ring that's got a jewel all the way round it? So she puts like a resin in with the pubes. People are fucking dirty. What? People were taking it too far. This is from my husband's bad whole hairs. Because we're closer together,

so I'm more proud with it. But yeah, people do that as well. I'm sorry. Yeah, that was on a TikTok. That's what she makes. You're not into it then? You're not thinking of sending some pubes? No?

Don't want that for Christmas. Here's my pubes. There are some seriously questionable people in this world. I mean, I just find it all funny because I'm two. So, I'm like... I'm just finding that hard to take it.

What? Yeah, no, like the real thing. People generally have it done... Have it done? To wear. And I thought having ashes was something else. What do you mean? Well, people have ashes made into jewellery, don't they?

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, which is fine. But, you know, people have ashes made into jewelry yes yes yes yes yeah which is fine but you know people are taking it one step further although i think that's a lovely idea i don't think i'd be able to wear a dead loved one do you think it's because you don't know what part you're wearing that's what that's what bothers me like their left eyeball? Or a nipple. You don't know if it's the nipple. Could be their vag. Their big toe. Yeah. Or their winkle.

Or their knees. Yeah, or their knees. It would be the knees. God would make sure it's the knees for you. That actually is what bothers me. I like the idea. Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't be able to wear it.

I wouldn't be able to do it. I wouldn't be able to do it simply because I don't know what part of the body that was. Or if it's even them. I do think it's them. You'd hope. I do. For me, I'd be like,

am I wearing my mum's nipple? Like, that's what would be in my head because I'm two, so... Right, go on. Right. So, am I the arsehole for showing my legs at a costume party after a lady called me gross triggering and inappropriate okay it's short it's short okay 19 female and missing a leg right

and I have a false one I most often wear boots and baggy pants we're American so people don't tend to know that about me upon moving to a much hotter place for college

I've been putting more shorts into my wardrobe one woman asked me to cover up because i could be disturbing and triggering to some people i told her to fuck off right and asked around about her and managed to get invited to a costume party she was going to. I put on a Playboy bunny get-up. Good girl. She got fairly upset and said I ruined something she had to cancel things for. Was I immature?

No. No. No. No. four was i immature no no no no i would have gone one better in i would have had to incorporate carrying the leg somehow with my stump on full show just to be like stump on full show yeah like i have been pc here we're being pc well what is it uh the amputated limb on show right to you know not hurt anybody's feelings because there's nothing wrong with the with the girl but yeah no i would have really really made sure that she was upset by it and every day after every day after would make sure that that woman is upset by it because yeah i think i would have to like find out where she how dare she be offended it's disgusting isn't it yeah she has

no idea what has happened to that girl first of all it could be from birth it could you know there could be many different possibilities yeah how dare she be offended by somebody else and how they look and how they look I'm visualising the haircut the Karen face the four chins those really angry people that just walk round for an argument like a Karen

you people shouldn't be here so not the ourselves some people are just completely oblivious to the fact the world doesn't revolve around them you did absolutely nothing wrong and i have never heard of anybody being offended but uh my somebody i meant by by somebody's prosthetic that lady must have been crazy right massively crazy person it's a fly here's a fly anywho personally personally 10 out of 10 ability to trigger idiots 11 out of 10 leg half or one out of two

you didn't mean half i think you meant one out of two yeah brilliant um i really really hope op found this funny because i just lulled. Yeah. What a bitch. Wow, yeah. I don't know why everyone's always so upset by other people. And depending on what you're drinking, you might be licking this. Mate, I really would have gone all out, I'm telling you. That was brilliant.

But yeah, no, you're not the arsehole. Well done for not getting upset. And well done for saying, no, this is what I'm going to do to show you there's nothing wrong with me. As someone with 8.5 out of 10 fingers, I also laughed. It's from the half, I reckon, they're responding. Oh, it's funny. I had a professor who had 12 out of 10 fingers. This is getting out of hand.

Yeah. Oh, dear. But yeah, it was short, but I was just like, oh, my God. Yeah, not the arsehole. I felt a little bit mad for her, but... Just like the audacity of some people. The nerve. I do.

I think people... Prosthetic... Prosthetic... Prosthetic... Prosthetic... Prosthetic... Prosthetic leg. That's right.

Prosthetic. Yeah. Prosthetic. Your plastic leg offends me. Yeah. Out of order. You know, the way they make them now is fantastic. I know.

My son actually wants one. Yeah. Because he thinks he could run faster with it. Yeah, some of the, yes, they have the legs for running. And then for women, they have the ones specifically for high heels, for summer shoes. They're awesome. It's just you can get, although obviously they're not NHS legs,

so obviously here in England it's NHS, and that's nothing that you'd get off the NHS. But they do do very well for helping people. I can't, like, make out that our prosthetics are not good, but we could do better. I like ones that upset you, get you really mad. I know, you do like that. Yeah.

I feel like... I literally go out of my way for it. You literally want my face to look like I'm in a standby wash, like I'm like, screw face. Yeah, you're like, what? I'm like, who are these fucking people? Okay, so this is true off my chest, and this is content warning Animal Abuse. Okay. Oh, okay. Are you alright with this one? Have you got a nice light-hearted one to finish us up on? I don't know.

Is it alright, the next one? Oh no, all I can see is what you've just read. Because otherwise, let me just see what my other one is. I've got one. I mean, both of mine. That's a sad one. That one's kind of all right.

I mean, I haven't read it. I've just read the title and it caught my... It's not too long. Go on, go for it. Okay, so like I said, content warning, animal abuse. Right, true off my chest. Just found out my parents regularly abandon our dogs on the highway. Yeah, so that caught my interest, obviously.

Back when I was 22 female, was in middle school. What? Back when I, oh sorry, back when I, 22 female, was was in middle school I had two dogs we've had dogs for as long as I can remember but none of them stayed long we adopted one dog or one dog after another after each one either died or mysteriously ran away because I was a huge dog lover and won my parents over each time they refused to bring home a dog. I remember whenever my dad got angry, he used to chain the dog and hit them with a stick for as long as he can. Whenever I was present for this, I calmed him down and protected the dogs.

But I couldn't be around all the time because I protected them soon after he started beating them. I never realised the extent of his anger. He sounds like a serial killer. That is until today. So, honestly, you don't trust anybody you can't trust anybody i had a conversation with my sister about our past she cut contact with our parents years back yeah i think we know why and she mentioned something about how many of our dogs were abandoned. I was clueless about what she meant.

And then she explained, whenever our parents felt like they wouldn't be able to take care of the dog anymore, they would drop them off on the highway, this is America, far away from our place, so the dogs wouldn't be able to find their way home. I am beyond devastated by this. I had no idea this is what they did.

They claimed the dogs ran away by themselves. My dad stayed with me for hours whilst I searched the entire neighbourhood, screaming at the top of my lungs, crying for them to find their way back to me. The entire time he knew exactly where they were, I feel absolutely horrified and I don't know how to comfort them, how to confront them about this. I'm 100% sure they're just going to lie to me and claim no such thing happened. How do I approach this so I can get them to tell me the truth go on stab them don't worry about the truth i think anyone that uh abuses animals is a potential serial killer absolutely a hundred percent a potential serial killer. There's something wrong with you. If you're going to hurt a defenceless animal, you are mentally, mentally, like, retarded.

I can't stand animal abuse. But to dump them on the highway, just take them to the shelter. Just tell us. I don't fucking get it. I don't understand it. I don't get it. I don't get it either. That pisses me off.

Yeah. Massively. I think if the sisters cut them off, I don't think the dogs would be the only ones subject to... I'm not being funny, but them being dumped on the fucking highway is probably the best thing they could have done to get out of that fucking place.

Fingers crossed that they were picked up. Because you know you see a lot of people, if I saw a dog, I would definitely pick that dog up. Do you know what I mean? So, you know, fingers crossed that they were picked up because you know you see like a lot of people if i saw a dog i'd definitely pick that dog up do you know what i mean so you know fingers crossed in all hope and belief in my in my mind they were found and given better homes and i don't think you know if she was young chipping wouldn't have been a thing back really back then was it not like it is now um i don't know what it's like in america but here in the uk do we have to have the dogs chipped now i think we do if if you're puppies and you're selling puppies you do yeah um and if you're buying from a shelter generally they get it all done

and well all mine are chipped from home yeah all my animals and clucks so they're changing the law on cats as well yes it wasn't yeah it wasn't no but that's to stop people stealing um

so that just makes me fucking mad I know I just don't understand if you don't want the dog or you've got

anger issues first of all don't get the dog second of all just surrender the dog why are you going for rescue dogs

just to fucking abandon them? Yeah. Like, that dog's mental health. I'm sorry. Or beat it. Yeah. They beat it because they don't fucking hit back. Yeah, of course.

Of course. Which puts into question what else was going on. Weak, disgusting human beings. Because that is not the only reason the sister doesn't talk to them anymore both of them uh top comment i would do what your sister did and go no contact on these evil animals because absolutely i'd take your parents out for dinner then fake some car trouble as an excuse to pull over on the side of the highway have them get out and ditch them on the side of the highway far from home i quite like that that's not a bad

that's not a bad idea and then never speak to him again yeah both of them they both used to do it no he he used to do it and she just supported the right so he'd beat them but i think they both abandoned so they're both responsible for the inbound abandonment of the animals but stop why do you keep one after another why keep doing it you say no darling we can't afford a dog no i'm gonna hurt the dog or what it's not fair for the dog to be here was he instead of hurting his wife and his children because this is where my head's going was he it's not fair for the dog to be here was he instead of hurting his wife and his children because this is where my head's going was he beating the animals instead of beating beating them don't know probably doing both uh someone said hey it's not illegal once your

affairs are in order to go nc i'm assuming new i don't't know what NC can you google for me make sure to roll down your window and tell them to find each of your dogs before you find their way back oh before

I don't know what NC means North Carolina Oh, before, I don't know what NC means. North Carolina. I don't think it's that. We don't really know. Basically, to find each other, oh, to find each of the dogs before they find their way back into your life and take off. I think that's quite good.

To go no comment. No contact. There you go, no contact there you go no contact that's what it means hey it's not illegal once uh your affairs are in order to go no contact that makes sense make sure to roll down the window and tell them to find each of your dogs before they find their way back into your lives as you take off maybe even double back with a freak out before speeding off that's a that's not a bad thing is it honestly yeah people are cruel that's why i asked if you had a good one before i before i read that one fucking disgusting people you know what it's going on all the time, babe.

Honestly. I'll tell you what else is starting to bother me as well, and I'm sorry if this upsets anyone, but I've got to say it. So at the moment, there are a lot of people bringing Romanian dogs over. Have you heard? Yeah.

Right. So there is this whole movement to help with Romanian dogs. Fine. Whatever. But I actually have done a bit of research as you know I do and um a lot of the people that find the dogs dog catchers are catching the dogs by any means possible because obviously they get paid per dog yeah they're stealing dogs right and they're also taking family dogs yeah they're stealing dogs they're not finding dogs on the street that are homeless and starving they are stealing they are stealing any dog whether they hurt the dog injure the dog by any means possible

because obviously they're earning money this way um then they're being brought over to the uk without proper assessment yeah in my opinion then they're going into over to the UK without proper assessment, in my opinion. Then they're going into these, because obviously I'm on some groups, and they go into these homes and... They should be going into a quarantine. They do first. No, they do. They have to have, like, a visa with certain thingy-bobbs. So that's all about boards.

Yeah, they need to go into a quarantine unless you've got, like, rabies and all that sort of shit. Yeah, they do. It's a, I want to say, seeker virus. I could be saying that wrong. It's an actual virus that they can pass on to other dogs that is the biggest danger. But they're immunised before then.

But actually what's happening is they're being put into these families. So say you said, like, I'd like to adopt a dog, please. I've got two children. You said said age. You get the dog next thing you know the dog's aggressive towards uh cars people children other animals then you go i'm really sorry i can't cope with this dog well by now the person the group that's giving you the dog isn't interested so then this dog goes into a uk shelter which are already as

you know busting busting out and um and i just don't understand more and more every day like i see it all the time this dog this dog and i want to you know if i had all the money in the world i'd have a massive farm with all these dogs i I would. But I think we're not even thinking. We're bringing these dogs over without, we don't know anything about these dogs. And if they are street dogs, do you think they want to live with a person? So, I'm really

sorry if that offends anyone, but for me it's against another shit show that we're just doing because we feel bad. That's because we are literally a nation of animal lovers like we are we are but what i don't understand but we've got so many already of our own that's what's bothering me as well i'm not i'm not against bringing them over i just feel like there's so many that need help right already yeah and that is why in the shelter yeah and not you know that is why

we brought in the in the law that now your dog needs to be registered you know and all these stuff and then you can't breed now dogs well you can illegally but it's more difficult now because if you get caught you're in trouble but now you have to be a registered breeder because we're trying to stop all these dogs that are abandoned in these shelters and yes it may be harder to get a dog from a shelter here in the uk but that is because they are assist so they're not going to give you a dog if they think for one second that dog is going to hurt you or your family and it doesn't fit in the mold so i just had to rant about that because obviously we're talking about animals and it's just something that I look at and I think wow man we're already overwhelmed aren't we anyway hopefully you found

something lighter not another doom and gloom right I'm gonna go with because I've got actually i've got quite a couple of dark ones okay yeah i've saved some dark ones as well i'm gonna go this one yeah i mean it's not oh it fucking works as well yeah i mean they're openly admitting it yeah do you know what it's not it's not bad story that's not bad story do you read all of the stories first i don't sometimes i do i mean i did get into the flow the other night where i was literally It's not a bad story. That's not a bad story. Do you read all of the stories first? I don't. Sometimes I do. I mean, I did get into the flow the other night where I was literally reading, going, yeah, I like that one. And then reading some of them, going, nah.

Yeah, boring. That's what I was doing when we did the joke one. I was like, that's not even funny, bruv. Yeah, no. So this one is true off my chest. And it is i am a gold digger love it open yep so i'm in my mid-20s and engaged to a well-off man in his 40s and as my title says i am a gold digger. I grew up extremely neglected emotionally and sometimes physically. My parents would abandon me to take care of all my younger siblings after I turned 12

for up to a week at a time so they could go on vacation leaving me to feed, bathe, clothe and raise four kids under six alone for two-ish months of the year until I left home at 18 and I still did most of the parenting when they weren't around when they were around sorry everything is uh transactional to me and i can't ever see myself being with somebody for the merits of their personality i did everything right and i was left to fend for myself i got good grades was dutiful daughter and it got me nothing now I need to take care of me all of my siblings are going to have their college paid for I did not they're all taken care of now I just want somebody to take care of me my parents are angry at my choice of fiance they want me to be normal and be with

somebody my own age and in my own tax brackets i don't care i have an arrangement with my fiance he can sleep with whoever he wants as long as he gets STI tested and in exchange he'll take care of all of my finances and we will have two children after which he will pay for me to get a voluntary hysterectomy. I won't have to work and I will only have to do the cooking as a housekeeper will complete the cleaning. It's eat or be eaten, kill or be killed out in the world. I don't plan on being a sheep when the wolf comes, but rather the fox that slinks back into the hole as the farm falls apart

i have been selfless for too long it's time for me to think about me i'm all for it i'm totally all for it like why are her parents so against that do you know what else is weird it sounds like a good set up arrangement it sounds. And the other thing is as well, it sounds like the other children, the younger children, obviously also abandoned, so I'm not going to take that away from them, but they seem to be loved more than she is. It certainly is suggested that.

Yeah, and she for some reason has become a substitute mother raising these children that are not her children. And she's gone, you know what i'm gonna actually only focus on me i'm gonna be a gold digger this is what i want and this man is willing to give it to me right and i haven't got to work all i've got to do is have two children i don't care if he loves me or not he can sleep with who he wants as long as he brings but no absolutely i say go for it they might fall in love as well you don't yeah you never know yeah so like the top uh comment is you should probably consider what

happens when the gravy train runs out in 10 years after two kids he'll replace you with the next 20 year old oh well i mean i don't think anyone's again i think they're all going to be against her to be honest oh well i haven't read these because because without a prenup she's going to take half of everything that he owns and he sounds like he's rich so i mean they have some sort of arrangement they know what they're doing it does sound people can't be against her because they can't put their minds into a situation that she has come from like they have no idea do you know what i mean and as well not everybody gets married for love i'm married for love you married for love fine whatever and i say you know a hundred percent to my husband if i could do it because of the way that I love them, you know, first of all, I wouldn't get married and have children

because there's so much pain in the world. It's just a worry when they're in pain. But, you know, if I had no children and I wasn't married, a 98-year-old with millions of pounds would sound flattering to me. So this is her response. She responded to that person. So she said, If he does, he can kiss his

inheritance goodbye the whole point of the marriage is to meet the qualifications for his inheritance one of the conditions one of the conditions is he he loses two-thirds of it if he divorces me which is why i'm okay with him sleeping with whomever he wants they have a business a business arrangement here and that clearly works for her and obviously it doesn't for other people but who who are we to judge no one who are we to judge? No one. Who are we to judge? I think it might be a little bit sad to have children where, I mean, what sort of relationship would they be seeing? No, so I don't think there's, for me, if it's a business relationship, they will be able to co-exist and they might even fall in love, right? But that's... Look at what children see now anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A business relationship is better than a parents that don't love each other and are cruel to each other, right? There's children that are born every day from one night stand. Yeah, but... All right, we're not talking about that. Just think about how their children will exist. Yeah. So... their children will exist yeah so if he's out sleeping with other women yeah so their children now think that's okay

but they wouldn't know but we don't know this it's just a little bit of a i don't a gray area in that respect if it comes to children I know what you mean, I know what you're saying but I don't think because obviously first of all people cheat every day yeah yeah, we know and I don't think it would be I think I've read a story once or heard a story I'm falling in love with my

arranged marriage husband so they met, they got married, they only had sex to have children and then they ended up falling in love because she fell ill. You know? But I don't think, I think even in a friendship, a business arrangement, I don't know, I'm not worried about the kids, babe. I see or, you know, hear about more women and men that shouldn't be together

raising children in volatile situations like that dog woman. This girl was raised in a volatile situation with parents that were so self-centred they didn't even think about their kids. So, you know, I fully support it. Listen, I feel like their arrangement is great. I think the only concern I would have would be the children.

But if they do have... It just would have to be a really secure... Of course. ...arrangement. And I don't mean financially. I mean actually the way they live with each other. Yeah. Yeah, they would have to keep things very hush-hush and quiet.

You know, like, for example, she would say probably, you can't sleep with anyone in our circle because I'd never want that to come back to our kids. Yeah, but does she get to start dictating when she's already said he can sleep with whoever he wants? I don't know, but that would be... But maybe then it would be you can't bring them back. Yeah, maybe that would be what a conversation that they should have.

The only objection would be make sure. Yeah, it would literally. My only thing is as long as it wasn't affecting children. Yeah. Because we don't need no more fucked up kids in our world. Although it's every second of the day. It's awful, it's awful. Yeah, it's so bad.

Mm-hmm. But, yeah, no, good for her. Maybe I need one of these. Yeah, I've been saying that to you for ages, babe. I just don't know if I could. Do you want to fall in love? I love love. I would love to be in love, but what's missing for me is I want to be loved back the way I love.

Right. Which is something I don't feel I've had. So you are definitely open to the possibility of falling in love again? Yeah. Oh, my God. It's all the other shit. It's all the other shit that comes with it that I'm not okay with. Yeah, like the man.

Yeah. Like, yeah. That stuff. I don't know i mean like me i think because obviously i don't know i just i mean i say all this babe but i don't know i say i would never get married again never fall in love again how do i know that for definite of course i don't know i just feel i've still got plenty of time to have love. Of course you do. Yeah, I mean, you know, me and Paul could be... We're 20 years this year. We could go on for another 20, 40. I hope not. You'll be fine.

Yeah. But, you know, who knows? I don't think I'd ever get married again. No bloody way. It's not an interest. No. More children is not an interest. If they came with children, brilliant. Yeah, yeah. I feel like children now would be harder first of all to do but it's just like oh my body would be like starting again no no no yeah i mean never say never you don't know what's around the corner you don't know who you're gonna meet i'm definitely all for her she trying to... I feel like she's got it together, actually.

So do I. She just wants... just to get through the next part of her life unscathed, actually, without having... I mean, raising those kids, her siblings, was a necessity. Yeah. A selfless necessity because she loves them.

Yeah. That is why she's going into this loveless but at some point she's going to feel lonely yeah yeah

I mean like I say I could be married till I'm 100 I'm fine with that but I'd never do it all again fall in love with that again I'd never give myself to anyone the way I did

to Paulul ever ever no way no but i i feel the same yeah i've learned a lesson yeah you know but i do love love yeah i love weddings i love i mean i do love all that but i'm not I feel like you're a bigger romantic than me in the sense I mean I'm not romantic I'm not romantic no no no but but yeah like romantic yeah I do love the idea that there is a soulmate I do love the idea like you're forever I do love those things yeah I do believe in soulmates and all that sort of thing but you know everything as you know is work and effort and i have all of that i know i do have all of that and it i just need that same top tier level of commitment and love yeah and the worst thing for me is because I've experienced the things I've experienced,

the minute that person is a little bit off, I'm like, I'm doing too much. Yeah. And I do withdraw. I know I do. Yeah, yeah. Because I need them to pull through for me so I know. Yeah, you need them to give you something back to say, no, no, no, it's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I haven't found that.

I do definitely, before the next relationship, before you invest in the next relationship, if there is the next relationship, I need to meet the person. Did I tell you about the hiker guy on TikTok? Yeah, I did. Yeah, I did. The hiker. Yeah, yeah, because we're going to go mountain climbing, remember?

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's going to happen. I'm going to hashtag him in it. You're talking about the one we're following up with, aren't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, life of that's gonna happen. I'm gonna hashtag him in it. Wait, you're talking about the one we're following up with, aren't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That one. The fitty. Fine, fine. He's like half our age.

He's an out-dormant. I read somewhere once that apparently the best place to find... Is up a mountain. No. Dents. To find someone that you want to have the same interest in that is to do the activity and find them there. Yeah.

So, and then you know that they are really into that and not just saying it for you. Yeah, you watch me, I'll be going out this summer. I'll be like, watching you, I'll be like, is that Emily climbing that mountain? Help me, help me. You're going, come here, baby reindeer. Was it little reindeer? Was it're going to come here baby reindeer! Or was it lil reindeer? What is it? No it was baby reindeer. Baby reindeer!

I'm not going to call him baby reindeer. We can call him mountain goat. Come here! Baby goat! I'll be like Emily. Like all over the news. Do you know her? No.

Right. Fucking weird. Come on, baby girl.