Middle-aged opinion - More things inside you Merry Christmas

Episode Date: December 24, 2025

Hello everyone and welcome back for our Christmas special. We hope you enjoy this very bizarre podcast we've done today hashtag inside #what's been inside you?

Wow. What do you think in that? What don't you think of that? I think that girl has got everything. Hang on. Hang on baby. I need to get a bit cozy. I need to get cozy.

It's blanket next to you if you want it. I'm a blanket. I don't want a blankie. Just, I don't know what I want. I just want to stuff down a bit. Yeah. Sometimes I feel really fucking old. When I looked, I was looking at the mirror.

Miria, the mirror. Not the mirror. Yeah, I was looking in the mirror. And I was like, damn, you look fucking old. I feel like that's what my mum was getting at earlier. What, that you look old? It's rude. Yeah.

Although I still don't think we look like the golden girls. No. Not yet. Do you think you're going to cut your hair short and curl it like old people? No, I don't know, Pam. not short perm that's terrible you want a long perm

that's fucking Roman noodles I've had a perm before but it was a loose perm I had a perm back in the day I think I was about 10 I think I was about 16 yeah and I was bleach

well kind of like an orange blonde to be honest looking back at pictures in my head it was blonde but it was not blonde and then I keep thinking of doing so like a centre part here taking this section this section here and then a small section underneath that

and then put in stripper on it to make it lighter not too light but just like kind of near where you're at just to have a bit of depth and colour and something different and bored what just patches yeah like two patches of colour well just a patch here and a patch there yeah let me show you what it looks like. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm thinking. Just random patch? Random patches. Two random patches?

Yep. I mean, it sounds and finished. Yes. How do you spell pack? If only I could spell... Patch, P-A-T-C-H. Yeah.

So that's kind of what it is. So that patch would be there and then I'd have one peeky-boot patch there. Oh my? So that's the general gist. Okay. Will I do it? Who knows? Depends if I go on one. You know what I'm like?

how bored I get over Christmas break. Okay. Yeah? Okay. Right. What? Okay. So this is, are we doing this on Christmas Day or New Year's Day?

Who what? Releasing this one. So I'm assuming the most grossest one is Christmas and New Year finale. We did, did we do it? Yeah, but this was New Year's Day last time, what's been inside me. So do you want to mix it up? and put it on Christmas Day. You can say I'd be Christmas to everyone. That's what I'm getting at. Oh, I see what you're saying. Uh, yeah. Because you're like, okay.

Right, what are you going on? Yeah? Yeah, fine. Fine. Hello everyone and welcome to the latest opinion. I'm your host Ellie. And I'm your host, Emily. And today we are looking at what's been inside you. Yeah. Not me. Nothing's been inside me. I've spoken about what's inside me what's been inside me is the title now if you want to talk about what i want inside me that's a different kind of podcast yeah it's none of your business henry cavil thor i think i've mentioned this once or twice before on the podcast do you like any of the avengers oh thor thor what about um captain america yeah in America.

Oh, like Tony Stark, yeah. Yeah. The Hulk. Actually, yes, I really do. So do I. As the Hulk, though. No. My stomach, yeah.

Or my stomach got excited then, yeah. No, the scientist, what's his name? Um, uh, Banner, Bruce Banner. Yeah, I would. It's sad that I know that. That's how much I like the Avengers. Who else is there? Oh, we said this the other day.

Oh, what about Hawkeye? Least favourite, probably. Is that the one that flies or is that bow and arrow? What's the one that flies? Um, the new cats in America. Oh, Kastrow or something. Yeah, no. Oh, Black Panther.

He was gorgeous. It was lovely. And his enemy. He was good looking as well. Yeah, he was. The one that he went up against. Yeah. Oh, he was.

It's lovely. Anyway, that's enough of what I want inside me. I don't know. I can't remember who we were talking about at work the other day. Like, very inappropriate because we were in the playground, but I told him that I'd run up it twice. I was like, I don't feel like we should talk about this in here. I'm trying to think of who.

I can't think who we were talking about. Well, if you're running up in twice, it's got to be someone quite remarkable. I can't remember who we were talking about. Because you're going back for seconds. I can't remember where it was. I was just in the moment. you were like yeah run up back twice

twice back down and back up here yeah up that down it yeah I said to you earlier I'd find me Henry Cavill like a tree Timbor

Anyhow um did I introduce yeah oh okay so you need to say Happy Christmas So today is Christmas No it's not

Is it a day Christmas today And let me tell you Today is today is right so it is the day before Christmas

day so it's boxing day no Christmas Eve fucking hell Christmas Eve you know why boxing days on my mind because change your things I'm not even think about it

the 27th is when I'm allowed to watch that feels like a you problem I'll just start sending you voice notes no I've already watched the beginning so don't the beginning of what It's already released like four, four what? Episodes.

Yeah, but that's part one. I'm talking about Boxing Day, four more are coming out. Yeah, I haven't watched those yet. Yeah, I've watched the four that you've watched. Yeah. And then New Year's Day, New Year's Eve, either or I'll be watching that as well. That's what I'll be doing. Yeah.

Um, yeah, so tell them what we're doing today. Today, I feel like I've already told you. I've got talking about what's inside you. Yes. right what has been inside you yeah um and why a little bit yeah a little bit of why why are you doing that a little bit of you do you um safely go on you just you right go go go yeah i peed in my girlfriend's butt with unforeseen circumstances and consequences after a few months of observation I've concluded that the reaction I get to my story defines who people are

some of my people think this is hilarious and something it's disgusting as fair warning this is sexually explicit I don't know whether to add a trigger warning I make no excuses nor apologies, but I am an absolute pervert. Outside of children and dead things, there's nothing that I haven't tried. Finding a partner as kinky as I am was difficult there for a while. And most women would go only so far before the line was drawn. One even broke up with me for one particular reason. Luckily, I eventually came across a website called FetLife where you can talk about fetishes and meet people in your local area. I met the most wonderful woman who was into many things that I was into.

One of those things is anal gaping. I didn't even know it was a thing. Where you stretch the anus as wide as possible, I love having it to be. done to myself and can take a very large dildo. We are both also into water sports and I've always wanted to try urinating into someone else's anus. By this point my girlfriend is six months pregnant so that just adds to the dirtiness and arousal for me. As far as as as far as this kind of play goes, it's really not that advance or anything interesting. At a party a few years ago, one guy filled his partner's hole with breakfast cereal. A party. Yeah? Filled his partner's

hole with breakfast cereal. I don't know. I've lost where I am. And ate it out of him. So a little urine is easy. So we thought. We use butt plugs and an anal ring to stretch her whole. Sorry. Getting her nice and wide. Plenty of lubricant and saliva is used. And my girlfriend is ready. One important thing here is that the ends of the butt plug had feces on.

Something we usually ignore. luckily i managed to stay semi flaccid as i couldn't piss hard that was this was a big worry and i had drunk a lot of water i began the stream into what isn't a difficult target her anus fills with my urine and my girlfriend loves the feeling playing with herself success i'm feeling pretty good and go down to lick from behind when she lets out a massive the anal ring which was metal flies at me it's not that forceful and didn't hurt it's not some kind of weird loony tunes thankfully but what follows is a gush of shit piss water we weren't expecting shart play so we hadn't put any plastic sheets down

we intended to plug her up and then after some sex she'd release it in the bathroom she's completely shocked by what's happened and starts to move around to put her hand over her anus and get off the bed. She later told me, in her panic, she was going to run to the toilet.

This, of course, didn't work. Shitty piss on both of us, on the bed, on the floor, wardrobe mirror, I mean everywhere. We eventually had sex in the mess. Because when I got over the shock, I was so hard, hard as a rock. But the mess was a nightmare to clean up the next. morning even opening a window didn't help get rid of the of the smell for some time lessons folk always clean your ass out properly okay one I was quite disturbed by this one but what do you think of that not something you want to

try? What was the worst part for you? For me it was the whole thing. I I'm under the impression that they do this is what they double in.

Yes. This is their thing. So for them to play with the asshole and not think that any shit would be involved I find bizarre well why yeah no you could like emina yourself

couldn't you before ask play so there is I don't care how much prep you put into that there is still shit that poop and butts are you know they they're together it's a no for you but and she was pregnant I don't feel... I don't know what I've got enough. I don't know what I've got to say. You're like, I don't feel like this is very safe play. This doesn't feel, but I didn't even know it was a thing.

So, you know, like these stretches, apparently they're like earring things. You know, like people stretch their ears. I can only assume that people are stretching their butt holes. I didn't realise they were putting things in to keep it. Keep it stretched. Me neither. I had no idea that was even a thing

until this story. And then using it as a fucking bowl for your cereal. I mean, she's going to have serious head rush because that's bloody. She's got to be upside down for that. Why?

Or? I mean, unless she's super duper stretching and she's like on her back and her knees are by her. So the plan was. I can't. see how this is positioned

but what I'm confused about so the plan was to fill her butt with your piss via a stretch drink it no then plug it oh sorry they've got then plug it and then I'm assuming

to leave it in there so she's wishy-washy yeah to have sex knowing that the piss is in there is arousing I mean it's not my cup of tea babe I didn't even know it was a thing but it just goes to show them And then she's going to go to the toilet and gush. People will literally put anything up their ass.

I'm assuming so, making him aroused. It's in my stomach. Right, there are only four comments. And these two idiots are having a kid, is the first comment. The second is, what the fuck? The third is, okay. And then the fourth is, this is awesome. Nothing I would find arousing, but shit's hilarious, nevertheless.

I'm really sorry, this girl, this girl, is going to have a baby here. Yeah. And forever sneeze and piss herself. I think so. How stretched out her body sounds. I don't know what the deal is, because I know it's, we've discussed this before. It's like an elastic band, but when does it come to the point when the elastic band snap? Yeah, yeah.

And then you have like a whole... You sneeze and you... Like a prolapse bowel. Because it can happen in the womb. Like you're... You know, you can have a prolapse womb and that's generally... I'm assuming to do with the usage. Like, you know, if you have big kids and stuff,

that can happen as you get older because the was... The muscles become weak. But that was quite disturbing, wouldn't it? I knew you'd like it. We've read some proper fucking... gross shit tonight. Is it? It's too much.

Over to you. Sadly, I also have gone with, for my first one, to do with pee. Okay? It's like a thing. So my one is, my husband peed while he was inside me. As you do. Now, from the time, it doesn't sound like it was done on purpose like yours but let's just find out I don't know

if I want to know I kind of want to know this is so embarrassing so I'm going anonymous I won't mention names or ages here my husband literally peed inside of me last night while we were having integrals okay it freaked me out and I didn't know how to handle it just so weird and I really can't put it into words how I feel but I don't want to put but I do want to point out that I'm upset because he previously told me about trying to do it and I had already said no but he went ahead and did it I was completely caught off guard I did not agree to this weird experience and I did uh definitely didn't enjoy it. We had an argument and he said I killed the fun with my reaction but he

already knew how I felt about it. He still hung up on the fight saying I overreacted for no good reason at all but I don't know I found it really unpleasant and just weird. He could, that's a complete violation. Massively. Because she said don't do that he said I wanted to piss in you tonight she went don't do that that's not my thing at all so he's completely violated her I don't know if any problems can occur because it's gonna throw off your pH level but I'm actually I'm actually interested to know I think peeing in the vagina is yeah you're gonna really upset the pH balance you're gonna end up with like thrush or

whatever or possibly something worse but I'm not sure about anal peeing because obviously your vagina and your butt is different. I think the butt is more self-cleaning, isn't it? Because you're obviously expelling the waist. But when you're putting in toxins that your body naturally is getting rid of it. And those toxins wouldn't be. And they're not her toxins either. Here we go.

Yes, there is a risk of vaginal infection and irritation from man peeing in the vagina, which can lead to problems. pH balance, which we spoke about. Infectious from infections from bacteria. While urine is healthy in people, it generally considered close to sterile. This is not free from bacterial. sexually transmitted infection, irritation discomfort and increased risk during pregnancy.

Mate, unless you've got consent like that first couple we read about, you've got no business. Yeah, no business. And really anything, oh, you didn't plug it in? It doesn't matter. I've just noticed. Yeah.

You better have press record. yes it did because they've waited don't you do that um yeah unless uh you and your you and your partner have discussed things sexually before you've got no business doing it to anybody without consent mate dirty piece of shit go on you killed the mood i would have thought him pissing in your vagina against your will would do that right maybe i'm weird no totally mood killed up 10,000% or 100,000% there are lots of zeros though yeah sounds like a form of sexual assault to me you told him no and he did it anyway right here I thought I was going to read that it was an accident but no that's what I thought I agree it had had been

discussed and she had said no I also thought it was may be an accident, but no, I'd be seriously questioning this relationship. Got no boundaries? No. Hopefully they don't have kids, so the decision is easier. Red flag, red flag, red flag, red flag. Well, yeah, she killed the mood because her husband can't come to terms with the fact that what he did was essentially rape.

He asked prior for her consent to perform this act. She said no. So he did it anyways, despite knowing what no means. I don't think rape, I think sexual assault. Rape is because she consented to having sex. She did not consent to having piss inside her. There is a difference there, right? I'm not saying what he did was right.

I believe it's assault, but I do not believe it was rape. For the record, O.P., I am being a little sarcastic in the sense that you did not ruin anything. What your husband did was wrong. I get kinks are varied and kink shaming sucks sure but forcing your kink on an unwilling partner Married or not is still rape Fuck dude I'm sure If you expressed an interest in pegging him

He would suddenly know what consent means No I need to know what pegging is It's to do with the butt isn't it I don't know I'm glad you know I think it's a thumb up the bum or pink Picking sex yeah Pegging porn videos. Right, er, if you peg a person, you make a judgement about them.

I don't peg him as a messy knife. No, no, that's slang crack. Anyway, moving on. Alright, ready? What is the largest object someone has put up their butt? Okay. Honestly, are they mad? Peer on his face when he's asleep.

It's disgusting. He was so mad. Well, because it was out of all day. It was out of line. Right, you ready? What is the largest object someone has put up there? But first comment doesn't count in my opinion, but I read it. This guy who fell out of a building in Paris and landed but first on a metal pole and impaled himself.

They were able to get him off, but he died several hours later in hospital. don't think it really counts but it did go straight up his arse so I'm gonna give it half a point okay next one probably that dude that taped himself getting fucked by a horse then died for a massive internal trauma he deserved that two raccoons two whole raccoons Up someone's butt. Yeah. I don't know if they were dead or alive. It doesn't specify.

I mean, I'm saying up someone's butt, but like a lot of people have no problem fitting a whole head up there. I want to, I'm becoming fascinating with people butthole, man, because I don't, I, I, I, no. Saw a lady sit on a traffic comb, obviously not the whole thing, but more than one would expect. depending on the weather we're looking at a length of girth or just generally something large for length the horse dick guy is probably up there but i've seen like three foot super flexible skinny dildo get up there before okay it's i mean the fuck i've seen a video where someone put basketballs in their butthole. How?

How? That's large. A mayonnaise jar? Someone said, ask your mum. That's you. You lit that. Listen. Your mum.

I should answer always. I said that. Who did I say that in front of in class? And they were like, I was like, is it your mom? And then the teacher said something, Tony said something, and I went, that's what she said. Jamie was like, it just makes it funny upon me because I feel like I'm incorrigible. If someone starts laughing, then I'm like,

and this one time. Oh, dear. Fucking hell. Okay, go on. I've got another story after this. Nurses has any patient come in for a rectal foreign body. Of course they have. And just straight up told the truth about how it got there.

Oh, fair play. Because they all normally fall, don't they? Yeah, everyone falls. Falling over. I'm sure there are plenty of threads with the funniest excuses given, but I want to know if people ever just admit that they intentionally shove something up their ass and now it's stuck. Um, first one. Yeah, I worked for BCBS and interviewed ED notes to determine claim payment. Cucumber broke off and cherries too small to grab.

Okay. Fair play. Why the cheery though? I get the cucumber. And cherries. It was obviously overripes. Yes, about half the time in my experience. When I was brand new and working triage for about the second time a guy came in and stood next to the desk, I asked him to have a seat and he said, I'd rather stand thanks. I asked why he had to come to hospital.

He reached into a pocket, pulled out a small crystal tea light holder and plunk it on the counter. He said, I've got another one just like this up my ass. He asked how it got there. He said, it was a really good party and we had a lot to drink. Baby, where's the other tea like? Can you just imagine? Okay. Someone says in response, that's a lot of foresight to bring another one as a visual age.

To be fair, at least they can know whether they can grab it or not. We're looking for one of these. Yeah. There might be something else, but this is the one I want you to find. It's definitely inside me. I just don't know where. You had a lot of time to plan ahead. It had been there for three days.

No, can shit it out. Oh, no. He needs to work on anal stretching. I wondered why he sounded so sober. Lowell sounds like he indeed, like indeed it was a, good time um it's disgusting um go on um i'm just i was going to read this one um i'm way out of the left field here but i live in uh conservative sex and shame central america and we've had some parents outright admit usually in a bit of a panic yet we were missing messing

around with random house objects not intended for sex toy substitution right and now strange pregnancy symptoms concerns had happened is that why unexpected outcome probably unrelated to any of the stuff happened no sweet summer children you didn't develop pre eclampsia preeclampsia preeclampsia from using the shampoo or summer squash all the other items as adults for as your baby was a pre-premi because you tried pegging it's possible a good orgasm and a lot of nipple play might have made labour progress but only if it was going to happen anyway y'all didn't nothing wrong and here's some ideas for safe grown-up intimacy play next time after mum's doctor has given her the go-ahead and you'll have deceived what contraception to use. Okay, Pegging is an anal sex act in which a woman penetrates a man's anus with a strap on dildo. The term was established by Dan, whatever his face is, in 2001.

Pegging has become more visible in the 21st century through sex education. Are they teaching that to children? Feminist and queer theory, mainstream media, discussions about pegging, often deals with gender roles, power. no no no I don't think it's been taught in school I hope not because that's very inappropriate when daddy's naughty mommy mommy pegs him I don't know what the words about either pecking I thought it was insertion to a man's anus well you were right a woman but I actually thought it was the insertion of of a finger or whatever

and the rapid pulling out of when he's about to come to create a heightened I didn't that's what I thought so her fucking him with a

strap on dildo has made her go into premature labour that's what this doctor's saying no he he was doing basically fucking her and they

in her ass yeah okay but then it wouldn't be called pegging would it would it be called

anal oh yeah it sounds like they were like well there are safer ways to do stuff

but um I'm just do one more okay yeah had a guy come in with a uh

36.8 inch long metal rod with a four inch wide hook on it no he was

on about why he did it he also drove over 20 miles down a dirt road with his ass hanging out of the door to get to the phone to call an ambulance think of a fire poker

with a metal hook on it he surprisingly did not leave with an ostomy also I have to mention my guy with 4.9 inch carrots in

rectum and only two could be removed so he needed surgery. He'd grow the other one. He left AMA because I wouldn't give him a single slice of cheese. Dude couldn't understand I don't have any fucking cheese. It's 3am even if you you weren't NPO. He was asking for cheese and she didn't have any. I wouldn't trust him with any cheese. I no longer trust this man fruits or vegetables. I said, man, you could end up needing emergency surgery and end up with a colostomy showing him pictures. I said you you want to shit in a bag for potentially the rest of your life for one slice of cheese. Man said, yeah, I do. And left. Wow. Dickhead, mate. Wow. What's going to say to you? Imagine

his wife. Mark, we had seven carrots. I've only got two left. Where are the carrots, Mark? They're at my butt. They're at my butt. No. Fucking no. Right. Another gross story coming in. I've been putting things up my arse since I was 11. My dad found out when I was 14 from full confession when I was younger I was a sex deviant I mean I still am

but since starting therapy I now realize it was actually pretty odd for an 11 year old me to be putting pencils up my ass by the time I was 14 I had graduated

to golf balls issue is golf balls don't have anything to grip onto and my little teen asshole decided to swallow them motherfuckers up like a hoover sucking up a marble he literally put wow five minutes have passed and i still have a golf ball inside me i began to panic thinking I'd have to go to the hospital, I did the only thing that made sense for a 14-year-old. I told my dad that I put a golf ball up my ass. To be fair, my dad, he didn't have much of a reaction.

He just told me to go and shit it out. It was a response that I had thought of about for a while. It seemed odd that he wasn't grossed out or embarrassed. A couple of years later, when I was six, I went into the bathroom about to have another one of my degrading masturbation sessions and I accidentally knocked my dad's dressing gown off the door, hangar out felt a black object. I picked it up and as I was about to put it back, I realized it was a fucking prostate massager. I was now holding my father's prostate massager, something that had been inside of my father's anus.

I let out a scream that could only be described as if you were a teenage boy at boarding school that had just been looked at by Jimmy Seville. Coming up the driveway, I flung it across the room, got in the shower as fast as I could, at least I know. Why my dad didn't freak out about the golf ball, it runs in the family, like father, like son. Kay, what do you think about that? You don't know what to say? It's fucking gobsmacking in it. So the top comments is Jesus Christ. Yeah.

The second comment says, never breathe. Someone said hot. Oh my God. Someone asked if they're British. Such a British thing to do. And then someone said, What? Yeah.

I, um, sorry, did we get, did we, did we get the golf ball removed? Yes, he shab, no, he shamed. out the golf ball I mean that must be fucking painful I don't know is it not the same I don't know how big is a golf ball I mean but it's solid yeah and it's heavy that which probably helped with the coming out I'll try later and let you know I am I just think he's very young to be to be to be no and the fact that he found is why would his dad leave that on the

back of the door. I don't care. But do you not grab up, like, I've put on Alfie and Harry's dressing gown before. Pools. I'll be honest, I have chucks my mum's on before. I would be, I would be absolutely, imagine a big, massive dildo falls out, or a butt plug.

I was like, oh, fuck. What would you do? Pick it up, put it back in there and never mention it again. I would have took that off and put it back. Yeah? Would you ever mention it? No, I don't think I could. No.

You wouldn't. I don't think I could. You wouldn't. I mean, I think that would have served me right for touching her stuff. My stomach, man. Yeah, exactly. But this is what I mean, like, why leave it in there? Surely there's got to be a better place to put your fucking shit

other than it in your pockets where it could be found by your child. I wonder if the wife knows. Darling, what's this? It's my butt plug. I'm assuming that it goes in the ass, makes them come as they rank. Is that what that is? A prostate must. I'm just curious.

I don't know. I don't know what a prostate massager. In my head, I'm thinking it's the same thing as Pegging, but... Prostate. It's not, is it? It's a real thing. It's a real thing? The picture of someone's finger in his butt is a stimulation of the male prostate gland,

located below the bladder, technically down by... intestines typically done by inserting a lubricated glove finger into the rectum to apply gentle pressure aiming to relieve right let's um it's gone shopping what oh there's nothing it's a finger it's because I've asked for my start at meaning there you go What's that clip on to? My search history man is crazy. Okay.

Prostate orgasm? It is. It's to make the man orgasm. Okay. Why would God put it up the butt? Can you not yours when we're talking about gross things? It's, um. It's because.

Here's my, I'm, like that, gagging. Right, go on from that, oh. I mean, we're saying about me putting my mum's dressing gown. I'm not like I've ever found anything in a dressing gown just to clarify that. But could you imagine if I put my dad's dressing gown on about that? You'd be mortified. But you'd never be able to say anything.

Never, ever. Not that I've ever done that either. I don't put my dad's dressing gown on. I have my mum's, though. Anyways, I'm going to move on from that. I would. So this one is surgeons are ready. What's the biggest foreign body you have ever seen or taken out of a person?

I was a little bit concerned it was the same one as yours, but it isn't. Okay. The first thing was a full-size police flashlight. Still worked. No. Love toys still vibrating four hours later. Okay. what the fuck does that say a trichidoza is that sausage i don't know of that a trichop trichenzor i don't know about the size of your head extended to the colon causing all of the small bowel to intercept at various points i think

H.P. Lovecraft described it best as the stretch of a thousand opened grain. The fuck. My dad was an E.R nurse in the 90s, said that one night EMS brought in some guy with a lava lamp stuck in his ass. Fair play. I can visualise that. I'm a vet, I pulled out an entire pool towel, an adult onesie, an entire leash, eight rubber duckies, and a pear tree, an air tag, easy for them to figure out where it was when they realized it was missing, a pacifier with land yard attached, a pair of underwear for each. member for a dog that lived with five people and a rotting vertebrae from some other

unknown animal causing an obstruction our patients could give the human rectal foreign body market a run for their money dogs eat all kind of crap yeah so many good ones one of my favourite was one of those giant maglite flashlights which was no worse for for wear and worked great the fuck man why don't you ask your mum she would know I don't know I don't know why but your mum is infinitely funnier than your mom Anyway, a six-foot piece of steel box-saber construction worker fell onto it. Of course he did. Normal.

Not me, but my partner had to do an X lap to remove a silicon baby out of someone's rectum. They took pictures, looked like they were performing a C-section. Hilarious. What did they do? Put it up their ass in order to give birth to it. Come on now, people. I'm not a surgeon, but I work with them. Biggest foreign object was a full-size shampoo bottle. Biggest non-foreign body was a 30-pound ovarian cyst. A fun fat back. Oh, no cysts is it's not rare to find hair and teeth form.

inside of them. Ugh. Fucking rank. No thanks. Yeah, I'm going to lead that there. I'd prefer to pull something out of someone's ass. A pool noodle. Before you ask, I don't know how.

But how? That's me. But how? An apple size poker ball figure. Fucking hell man. People stick anything up their ass. In fact, for you all, I have a list.

objects that I have shoved up my ass vibrators dildos pens pencils coins pebbles broomstick handle fishing rod handle umbrella handle toothbrush handle hockey stick handle fingers small glass jar

test tubes screwdriver driver handle stiff cox cigar banana cigar cigar I bet that just shattered It's shattered and left. I've really doughty smell.

Nothing illegal or damaging or surprising. Here, cummy. Thank you for your experience. Cummy stick. Hocked me deep into your hot flaming butt. Oh, put my cummy stick. Oh, my cummy stick. My object up into your ass is turning sexual.

Here we go. someone else oh no no just random shit it was just a different list of weird shit Lego bricks oh uh watch the video no thank you well I'm not asking you to watch the video somebody has said watch the video the fuck is wrong with people so that was a lovely little list you got any little ones i've got one more okay and then i'll find my last one medical persons what is the weirdest excuse you've been given by a patient for having a foreign object where it shouldn't be um i slipped and fell on my deodorant Read a story about this short sort of thing.

A boy shows up. A doctor with a toy car stuffed up his nose. Doctor removed it. Fifty minutes later, him and his dad are back at the doctor's office. This time his dad had the car removed from his nostril. Apparently, on the way home, he was trying to figure out how his son had got it stuck in there. That don't sound stupid. Sorry, was it up his bum or ass?

Nostral. What did he put in their car? A car, but the dad was wondering how he got it in there, so tried it himself. I mean, that man should not have multiplied. I don't even, I'm not, no. Dumb and dumber, fucking, who'd you do that? I read a case study years ago where, years ago where a fellow had inserted a live ill up his rectum in order to cure constipation.

Fair play. It did not work. No. I'm surprised. Me, I really would have thought that was going to work. The fuck is wrong with it. I hope it electrocuted in. He got out of the shower, sat on the toilet, but the toilet seat cover was down and he didn't notice and he's supposed slid off the toilet seat and onto the toilet brush handle which was next to the toilet which went which when you know where which went you know where a different patient got a carrot start beyond his rectum and couldn't get it back out he said his girlfriend put it in during sexual play but she didn't come into the ed with him.

No. Wife used to... Girlfriend, the blow-up doll. Girlfriend, my girlfriend, just in real-life doll. Wife used to work in the... It was the word... Endoscopy. Yeah, endoscopy.

Department ED. The person's excuse was they did a lot of cocaine last night and in the morning their Their highlighter was missing. Doctor sent the scope up and couldn't, sent the scope up and couldn't find the highlighter either. Whole unopened beer, whole unopened beer bottle in the rectum. A friend said it was, it would relieve constipation. Okay.

Yeah, right, buddy. Just laid down and let me. me assess you. I'm three was an excuse I gave for having a wooded up foil gum wrapper in my nose. Okay. And that's all I've got. Right, let me finish with these ones. Nurses and doxies are ready. What is the strangest thing that you found inside a patient's body? I was talking to a nurse friend the other day and she told me that she once found a fork lodge. up a woman's for Jarja. Where's the one I liked?

Someone, no, hold on, that's not it. There we go. Worked in the ER for about a year and had a girl come in with abdominal pains. Turns out she had a 12-inch black dildo named Lucifer lost in her anus. I had a dream.

I like that it was named. So do I. That's what I liked about it. I had a dream that my four little children would one day live in a nation where they would not be judged by the colour of their dildos but by the context of their anises. I had a dream, that's it. We had to end with that one because it had a name. Thanks guys. We hope you enjoy. Like for their subscribe. Enjoy Christmas. Happy Christmas.

Are we the day before or after? Day before. Happy Christmas tomorrow, everyone. Yeah. If you've got any goodies, please don't lodge them too far. Up your ass. If parents go missing, check your husbands. Yeah, as you're getting the Christmas dinner ready,

we hope that we're helping with that because it can be proper dull, getting everything ready, right? Yeah. And don't look at your Brussels and wonder how many you can get up your backside. Yeah, step away from the Brussels. although I feel like they'd be easy to pull out. I just imagine if they got stuck the smell. Fair play.

Right. Um, yeah. Merry Christmas, guys. Merry Christmas. Have a good one. Bye. Bye-bye. Fucking hell.

What do you think of that? I think, what don't you think of that? I think that hell is got everything that you do.