Middle-aged opinion - Revenge at its finest

Episode Date: December 10, 2025

Hello everyone and welcome back for another week today. We've got stories from Reddit about revenge. We hope you enjoy today's episode and tune in for more next week.

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what do you think that I think what don't you think that I think that's how it's it wasn't me I told you first story

and then I'm checking checking I'm checking right I'm going to crack straight on before we have any more technical

issues you won't know people but we did one before but we're moving on from that now mind your business

yeah mind your business hello everyone and welcome to middle-aged opinion i'm your host ellie and i'm your host emily and today we are looking at i forgot petty revenge petty revenge yes i mean she chose it i did but no i had it here in front of me and it's moved yeah so we've just done a whole podcast like it's a new business right and we spoke to her phone that wasn't on the entire time we ain't doing it again moving on it turned out better than I thought it would as well so you can all blame Emily for that

you'll enjoy it when we do it again next week I'm not doing the same stories I don't want to do that one again moving on I like my slightly confessions at the minute I've got a couple that I didn't finish but I didn't get to do because I say you know what I'm like I said like a slightly confession or this one that one did you enjoy that one

I enjoyed the last bit the last bit was the funniest bit we're all melting and turning into cheese but you'll never That was nothing to do with what we were reading. No, but that was all to do with you guys. It's all your fault. You'll never know why. To like go on a rant next summer where I've done nothing about anything. I'm just like, do you're fine.

I don't like, cheese. I do think I do need to either continue. What are they waffling on about? I even need to continue with my muscle training and hopefully build up enough to do tough mudd next year. otherwise I'm going to have to join a gym minimum three months before because I just I didn't last time and it was really difficult for me whereas I like to accomplish everything whereas I'm not doing the tough mother again and not accomplishing I'm not doing it very upsetting it's all your fault I look like cheat so I'll be all right should I quickly check I've got anxiety go on then oh don't there with her

I think we don't touch it I wasn't did I touch anything no did you yes well no yeah you clearly turned it off up at the top is that where I look for numbers don't touch it yeah it is okay it's recording okay don't dodge it

woo roll roll roll your boat I'm sorry sit down you need to have a fucking eye out it's not sharp it went through my glasses do you remember that pony we're horsing around

on the back edge yeah you really wanted to be the back end I made me so happy I'm so happy that day Anywho moving on Petty reviews go quick before it turns off

right my grandma gave me the idea Pettie revenge at its finest. Years ago, when my husband and I got married, we had a decent-sized wedding, 100 plus people, that we paid for ourselves. Because we were still fairly young and not making a ton of money, I tried to save where I could. I hired local people and friends to do many things at a discounted price, and because I worked at a four-star restaurant banquet facility, I was able to talk to them into doing the wedding reception for costs as long as I provided A, B and C.

Basically, we had an amazing wedding for a very low price. However, it was still a fairly large amount per person, somewhere between 17 to 20 per plate. Not too bad, but not cheap. Anyways, the invites go out and after a bit of RSVP cars, start to pour in and like I said we ended up with over 100 plus people maybe almost 130 that would be attending my aunt was one of those people she RSVPed for her her husband and their son my cousin wedding day comes we get married reception time and my aunt and family is a no show I notice because I only have two two aunts I guess yeah I'm irritated

but more worried something may have happened. However, the following Monday I get a card in the mail from them with a check for $10. No apology, just signed with a small congrats statement. Nothing personal. I was so disappointed. So I called her mother. Ha ha ha. My grandmother. And I tell her what happened. She instantly says that doesn't. even cover the cost of the meal she wasn't she wasted when she didn't show up what a cheap scape it hadn't even crossed my mind at the time then she says the best thing ever you know your aunt is super OCD about her checkbook don't cash that check it'll drive her mad I didn't and it did it also drove my narcissistic mother crazy because she got all the calls asking when I was going to cash the check. Guess she was too embarrassed by then to call me a win-win. The best part is I kept the check and left it inside the card. I have a habit of keeping all the cards and every once in a

while I'll pull the card out and look at it at that check and it always makes me feel like the pettiest bitch alive. I liked that story. It was hard. It was hard Pettie revenge, but something that's going to really, really affect her. And how rude to not at least give an explanation? Do you know what I mean? Yeah, that's three people that didn't turn up. I'd even accept I couldn't be bothered over nothing. Do you know what I mean?

I'd respect that more than pretending like the situation didn't even happen. Thanks for being honest about it. Exactly. I get it. Do you know what I mean? We've all been there. But yeah, no, good. I'm happy. I liked that. I love that her grandma was involved. Yeah. Like her own mum was against her. And she knows how to hurt her.

And that is to use her OCD against her. Don't cash the check. Don't cash the train. Still to this day. The woman's like twitching. Cash that $10. Yeah, just do it. The $10 that don't even cover the meal, mate.

So bad. Top comment. I love this. Your granny is a petty revenge master. Yeah. Yes, the real petty bitch alive. Grammy passed the crown on. It skipped a generation.

I like it. The OG pettiest bitch alive. Yeah. We all love running. When it's someone you know well enough and you're like, I know what's going to really, really to itch their brain. It's like an itch on the brain. And they will never, ever stop thinking about it, which is excellent.

So get that card out and you'll be like, ha ha. 20 years. Ha ha! Right. guy kept cutting in line at the coffee shop so i made his morning routine miserable there's a coffee shop i go to every morning before work small place usually has a line of five to six people there's this one guy who would show up see the line and then pretend to just remember he needed to ask the barista a question he walk up to the count are ask something stupid

like what size is medium and then conveniently just order while he was already up there. He did this at least four times that I witnessed. Nobody ever called him out on it because, you know, confrontation before coffee isn't worth it. So I started playing the same game. Whenever I'd see him walk in and start heading towards the counter with his I have a question routine, I'd quickly step out of line and beat into it. Then I'd ask the most annoying, time-consuming questions possible. What's the difference between a latte and a cappuccino again?

Do you have oat milk? What about almond, Sawyer? And which one foams better? Can you explain your whole process to me, section by section? And then I'd say, oh, actually. let me get back in line and think about it and then go back to my spot he'd be stuck standing there looking like an idiot after about a week of this he started just waiting in line like a normal person problem solved haven't seen him cut the line since i like it harmless

massively harmless yeah just just letting you see what you're doing yeah and then moving on It's pissing everybody off. Yeah. There was no confrontation. There was no, there was nothing. It was great. If you're on a time crunch, get there earlier, isn't it? Five, ten minutes earlier.

But you ain't got inconvenience and piss everybody off because that would piss me off. Cutting the line really pisses me off. I hate people cutting my mind. It's just rude. Top comment. Well played. Well played indeed.

O-P. Ha-ha. Thanks. Ha-ha. I remember. I was in that long story. We did. Ha-ha.

Thanks. The key was matching his energy. Once he realized. someone was willing to just do it, things fell apart for him quickly. Mm-hmm. Done. He waited a month to text back after a date, so I got my petty revenge. He-he-he-hee!

He-he! So, is how it goes. Oh, and I date with this guy, we'll call him Jerry. Horrible name. A terrible name. I knew him through some mutual friends and honestly I thought the date went fine but then radio silence. Four weeks passed and I didn't hear a peek from Jerry and when does he finally text me the day after Valentine's Day. Of course, fair play. I like him.

His grand return. What's up buttercup? How's it going? Of course all my girlfriends were like, do not text him back. But me, I saw an opportunity for some petty revenge and I took it. The night before my friend and I went to this fancy swanky club where they had dancing. That's when inspiration struck. I decided to create an entirely fictional club member who danced with me all night. with me all night. Enter Ben, the perfect gentleman. I text Jerry back, Hey Ben, I'm great. Had such

a fun time last night, I can't believe you've never danced before. You're a natural. Also, thanks for showing me the rest of the club, such an amazing art. Of course, I couldn't stop there. I had to fully commit. Imaginary Ben wasn't just. just some random guy, he was a man of class and good manners. Unlike Jerry, Ben texts me back within 24 hours of our meeting. So naturally, I followed up with, hey, this is kind of embarrassing, but I just got a text from the real Ben, love. Is this Anthony from yoga class? I love her. Jerry left me on red for a few days, but do I care? No, I've got my petty revenge and honestly I feel great.

Moral of the story, don't mess with Western fishermen. I don't know who Western fisherman is but that is obviously her. And we like her. And we are committed to her. We love her. That was harmless and hilarious. I'd be like, ha, ha, ha. At least you know what to do if you ever decide to date.

No, well. Got to find a real Ben first before I start messaging Jerry. about Ben oh dear but first top comment is very early in my relationship with my now wife

I text her the day after a day telling her what a great time I had last night etc etc however due to some failure somewhere in the intertubes she didn't receive it until like a week later

on a day when I had not seen her the day before. She just replied, I don't think this was meant for me, which gave me a full on panic because it was intended for her on the day. A week before, yeah. I sent, say I sent it. I replied right away that it was meant for her and I'd send it days earlier. I didn't know if she believed me, but that was 14 years ago and she currently sitting on the other end of the couch so I guess she's over it and then OP replies her she's probably not over it she's just been waiting patiently for 14 years to enact the petty revenge she's holding it

you know what it's going to be remember that time yeah 20 years ago yeah yeah I've still got the message yeah would be you know it right you didn't times uh refused to let my dad go to my sister's wedding I hope I hope you like tough questions. Okay. I'm just holding on there's been a finger bulb. Anyway, mod to put something on the top of it. I was just seeing whether it was relevant or not.

This is a story from my dad during the era of mandatory service in the army. I apologize if I get any details wrong. this is second hand and older one by now game of telephone may apply don't know during his time in the army my dad's sister got married the army was required to allow soldiers to take leave for these kind of events except assuming during emergencies however his commander apparently did not care too much about the rules like that. During a military exercise, the commander expected my dad to be present and did not allow him to leave for my sister's wedding. My dad was pretty annoyed and so he

told my grandpa, who at the time was a politician. My grandpa was known to be a bit of a bulldog in politics in the way that he did not back down. The reason this fact is relevant is because of my grandpa's status as a politician and that he had contacts. Grandpa said he would handle this. Long story short, the commander suddenly received a politely worded letter on his desk from the Ministry of Defense, asking for the reason of the refusal. According to my dad, the commander angrily called him into his office and slams and said something along the lines of, I will let you go to this wedding. I don't know how you pulled this off, but it will have consequences. My dad played dumb for the rest of his time in the army. His commander never did punish him, nor did he bother him again.

And yeah, that's it. What do you think? Yeah, if you've got the strings, pull out. Yeah, 100%. This podcast is supported by the Real Real. Meet Christine. She loves shopping. And this?

Is the sound of fashion overload. Too many fabulous things and not enough space. So Christine started selling with the Real Real. I've always loved collecting designer pieces. Gucci bags, prodded heels. But my style keeps evolving. selling with the real real game changer i earn more and they do everything seriously just drop off your items or schedule a pickup we handle the photos descriptions pricing even shipping you just sit back and watch

your items sell fast to our 38 million members and i get peace of mind knowing i earn more selling with the real real than anywhere else exactly this that's the sound of your closet working for you the real real earn more save time sell fast and right now you you You can get an extra $100 site credit when you sell for the first time. Go to the real, real.reel.com to get your extra $100. Thereal.com. That's the real, real, real. 100%.

It was just a silly one, but I was like... What is his problem? Some people are like that, aren't they? It's a daughter's wedding. For example, Alfie was the only one online at work yesterday, so he was cooking the food as well as wrapping the food and giving it. Right. And there's six...

managers seven managers on shift at a time it's very strange the way that the company is run and none of them are helping and they're going where is it and he's like i'm one person i'm literally one person the night staff are cleaning and he's just like i'm doing my best and sometimes it's the authority that's what i was saying to him sometimes it's just the authority of having that higher position and then it goes to their head and then next thing you know they're a dickhead whereas they weren't before and I'm assuming it's the same

with this commander that he's all like I get to say like you know the bell goes I tell you when you can leave not the bell like it's one of those top comment I don't know how you got in touch with the minister of defence

but I'm going to make sure you pay for this dude he literally showed you that he has a connection to your boss's boss's boss and you're going to keep digging your hole question mark you know what i mean yeah imagine imagine the highest person of the army is like yeah he's going to take this leave i'm going to get you for that are you though are you probably not probably not dickhead but yeah just somebody else who's uh let it go to their head yeah Shame on you

Shame on you I've just gone into co-workers That's not what I'm looking for Okay Petty Revenge at its finest Let's hear What did you do Not actually my story

But my dad's Oh how funny I know He was in the army No This happened a few years before I was born But it's still one of his favourite stories To this day

Poor clarification My city has two loops that go around the city and don't connect. So like, um, yeah, ring roads sort of thing. Yeah. We'll call the inside loop, road A and the outside loop, road B. This specific target, which is the shop, was close to Road A. My dad was standing in the line at Target with a few groceries and he noticed that a woman in front of him was given the employees crap apparently the woman needed directions on how to go to this one building because she's only been there for a month and needs to get her

hair done so after a few minutes of her shouting my dad just wanted to go home steps up and goes hey I know where that is there's a there's a there's a There's a road over that way he points called Road A. Get on that road and turn right, then follow it until you get to Road B. Take another right and you'll be there. The woman snatches her groceries and storms out. At least someone knows what they're doing around here. All while giving everybody that was staring at her dirty looks.

The employee turns to my dad and says after she leaves, a bit bewildered, but Road A doesn't connect to Road B. My dad looks at him smugly and replies, Oh, I know. I like to believe that that woman is still driving desperately around Road A in an infinite loop to this day. You know that when she got there and she was late to the salon, she's like, fucking bloke told me to do this and to do this.

Yeah, you can imagine But that's what happens If you're not respectful And you treat people like shit Yeah, why would you be having to go At like target staff About how to get to a completely different store Yeah

That's none of their business Yeah, literally, literally And who probably don't care They don't care about your problems No I liked it Yeah To comment, my great grandpa told me this story

on his deathbed only he didn't use roads he said turn left after the fourth pick pigs see pigs oh pig sty on that road then they would be there three they would only be three what i i don't know anyway it's a classic with a lot of variants um oh so people use this uh this as a strategy to make people fuck off anyway Fair play. Well, obviously, again, she's never heard of it. I'd never heard of it. I'd never heard of it.

And you're just trying to give people directions. Have you ever given people wrong directions? What, purposely? Yeah. No. I have. On purpose? Absolutely.

Do you know where this is? Yeah. Keep going down there. Left. Left, right, right. I was going, no. I'm not from around here. And then that's it.

Even if it's in like the highest street that I'm, you know, I was raised in. Even if it's there. No. No idea. Never been in it before my life. The thing is, I don't know name of roads. No, no. I'm just like, yeah, yeah, down there. I have done it.

100% I've given wrong directions. Maybe on purpose, maybe not. But I'm not very good because I don't know road names. I just know where I'm going. Yeah. I'm good of directions, but for myself. My last one. Give my friend's boyfriend her phone, hashtag,

when he hit me. at a club. What? Yeah. Give, oh, not, give, gave my friend's boyfriend her phone, hashtag, when he hit

on me at a club. I read that so wrong to start with. I don't understand the hashtag. I'm assuming it means phone number, but these kids write differently now, don't they? These kids. These kids.

You will grasp it when I tell you the story. They're all kids to me now Like at college they're all just children They're all my children Anywho Anywho Right Years before everyone had cell phones

I was at a club I noticed my friend's boyfriend From numerous photos I knew that he had cheated on her She caught him once And she forgave him I cannot stand this guy Even though I've never met him before

In person until now so he noticed me and he starts to flirt with me I gave him a fake name and pretended to flirt back a little bit he ultimately asked me for my number I took a napkin that's how you did it back in the old days and wrote my fake name and his real girlfriend's phone number on the napkin

oh I see I guess he was tipsy because he didn't recognise the phone phone number. Later that night he called and asked for Jill, not my friend's name. She shared this story with me and I didn't fess up in the moment. She broke up with him soon after that. A few months later, she met the most amazing man who she could have ever ended up marrying. I broke the news to her. Then she was grateful and actually thought it was hilarious. That's it. I liked the story. Yeah, in my head, I'm like, didn't have mobiles in that time?

Some people did. I mean, she does, like, she did edit because people are like, why didn't you have a mobile? And she's like, well, some people. Because I'm 40 odd nine years old. She's like, this is early 90s, and she's right. Yeah. She's absolutely right.

Because actually, if you, someone's number down, and then put it into your phone if you've got that person in your phone then they'd be able to come up yes so his girlfriend's name not on the home phone should have come up but it wouldn't have worked on a home phone no but also think about

unless you had a home phone where you could save numbers the year 2000 before I got my mobile phone when I was 16 had left school that was my first phone I think mine was like you wouldn't have been far in front of me no I think it was like

59 15 16 16 yeah that's when they started becoming ready yeah I think it was like the last last year of school or when I started six four yeah around the same yeah it was around the same time because like my dad had one I think he might have had the flip phone the massive one to start with brick but that was simply because of the job that he had the car phone with the wire literally um we had a home phone but mobile it wasn't until I moved out on my own and then I got myself a mobile so you know what I mean one which I left in a phone box I believe because I'd run out of credit so then I went to

the phone box to make a phone call and left it on the top there oh and then left I was far as far out I can't even read what I was doing and then I was like shit was still there I never went back oh wow it was all the way up in London I was like fuck that move moving on top comment You were the Jill their relationship died on. Oh, that was so stupid. This is going into my friend chat now, L.O.L. Someone said, oh, Opie said, this was a Vair. long time ago. I have no recollection of his name. I wrote, I have no recollection of the name I wrote

on the napkin, but you all, you all have superstars and I am glad that Jill was the first name that popped in my mind. He was a jilted lover. I like all that shit. No Netflix and Jill for him. I want to see if there's any more. It's all about the comments. No, none as good as that. That was excellent. The Jewie died on. Moving on, no Netflix and Jeal. Anyway, come.

Right, this one's got a slightly different twist. So I was a, I was a deserving. Recipicant. Recipicant. Yeah. Yeah. Recipicant. Recipicant.

No, no cunt in it. No, no, couldn't. Recipitant. Recipitant. Recipitant. Recipitant. Recipant. Let's Google it.

Let's get Google to say it. Recipient. Recipient. Recipient. Recipient. I was a receiver of a great petty revenge I don't know

recipient Recipient I E-N-T Recipient Recipient Recipient Recipient Yeah

There was no kunt She was a kunt Recipant Recipant Alright Recipant I was the deserving Recipant

Of a great petty revenge love that this goes back decades I'm an old fart to 1984 that's rude well he was he's older than us yeah but it still hurt my feelings it felt personal during a strike at a company of working I was working for because they used to do strikes back then you do strikes now yeah but like you know mainly hospital workers do strikes or bus drivers or train drivers that you weren't the most out of all of those people and do fuck all anyway wow stop they do fuck-holes. They literally push a lever and they're like, I need 100K at least a year. Shut up. Moving on. I'm very strong feelings about that.

I was in management so I was working a late afternoon shift and my replacement came in around eight or nine in the evening. He no sooner shows up than he announces he hasn't had soup supper yet, super, he hasn't had super yet, and wants me to fetch him a pizza, I should add that he was my manager as well. Having a great relationship with this guy, I knew I could pull a practical joke on him and get away with it. So I went and bought him a frozen pizza and delivered it back to him. Dropped it off, dropping it off, I told him he owes me $6.30. he told me he'd paid me later saying nothing about his absolutely useless frozen pizza a good three months later he comes into my office and drops what sounds like a rock in a plastic bag on my desk

I opened the bag and what it was was $6.39 in change frozen in a solid block of ice I love that for them. That is great. It's great. Here's your money. I'm hoping it was a one dollar, not one dollar, cents or one piece. In change.

Excellent. And frozen. Amazing. Even better. Even better. I'm all for that. It's good when you've got a good relationship with the co-workers. Renge is literally a dish best serve cold.

Literally. I like that. Pizza Revenge. his best set of deep dish oh god here we go this is a little cold don't don't you think uh good thing he didn't freeze his wages uh that would be mean uh why has no one given you awards yet dang freezers must have sucked in the 80s if they took three months to freeze something seriously thought have you ever looked at appliances from like the 50s and stuff. What do you mean you looked at them? So for example, they had like where they, you know, where you cut your potatoes and that, they had proper drawers for everything that then were just access to water and sinks and everything and the fridges were more sufficient and easier. Everything was so much better. I don't know why we didn't carry on with that technology.

Because we wanted more fancy gadgets. But we don't have fancy gadget. That, that, in my opinion, they were on to something. Yeah, I know what you mean because I know my nan's kitchen was exactly like that. Everything had a place, everything worked in its space. Yeah. But now it's just a shit tip. Yeah.

We've all got this junk drawer. Yeah. I've got about 13 drunk drawers. I haven't even got a drunk drawer because I keep looking at my coffee table thinking it's got to go. I don't know if to demolish it and just be done with it. I just don't know where I'm going. going to put the stuff on the podcast when you come what do you mean well like how are we going to hold up the microphones yeah you see it needs more thinking i need christmas to be over and then i'll

get on with it right yeah right uh like follow subscribe watch the advert listen to the adverts and um oh shit keep being petty bye bye bye If you love to travel, Capital One has a rewards credit card that's perfect for you. With the Capital One Venture X card, you earn unlimited double miles on everything you buy. Plus, you get premium benefits at a collection of luxury hotels when you book on Capital One travel. And with Venture X, you get access to over 1,000 airport lounges worldwide. Open up a world of travel possibilities with the Capital One Venture X card. What's in your wallet?

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