Midnight Burger - Chapter 48: The Scientist

Episode Date: January 13, 2026

“Was I ever really there?”CastAva - Finlay StevensonLibuza - Shelly DarringtonTycho Brahe - Alan BurgonJep - Julian MapleKirsten - Rebekah McLoughlinCristoph Clavius - Florian SeidlerCaspar - Joe FisherKrok - Karim KronfliWritten by Joe FisherProduced and Directed by Joe Fisher and Finlay StevensonArt by JuicheeMusic:String Quartet no. 19 in C major 'Dissonant', K. 465 - Mozart, Perf. Museopen String QuartetPassacaglia in C minor, BWV 582 Passacaglia in C minor, BWV 582 (Pedal-Harpsichord) - Bach, Perf. Nicholas DanbySonata No. 3 in a minor, Z.804 - Henry Purcell, Perf. Carl Pini, John Tunnell, Anthony Pini and Harold LesterChromatic Fantasia & Fugue, BWV 903 (Clavichord) - Bach, Pref. Michael ThomasRead and search Scripts with PodScripts: https://podscripts.app/For more information on our show, visit our website: https://www.weopenatsix.comSubscribe for early access, ad free episodes, additional content and more!Subscribe on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/midnightburgerSubscribe on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midnight-burger/id1537653218How about some merch? https://www.midnightburgermerch.comSign up for our newsletter: https://weopenatsix.beehiiv.com/Find and support our sponsors at: fableandfolly.com/partnersSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Tullia, Pomerlertsburger, in this life, there is such a narrow valley of things that are my own choosing, and it makes me furious. It means the things I can choose are the most important things. So I choose this, in an act of rebellion against an existence that chooses so much for, me against my will, I choose to pull up the skirt of the cosmos and give everybody a free show. We will know the secrets of existence. We will know the code of the cosmos. People will look up into the stars and will feel wonder without fear. We will know the nature of all things

and we will be at peace. And on that day and that day alone I will finally have had my revenge. Leostari Bakhton Once upon a time

there was a scientist. She had no library no observatory no laboratory only the mind the thought the pencil the page a library is finite an observatory obscured a laboratory nearly a playpen but her mind one day her mind would contain the length and breath of the cosmos Enough, enough. Stop the music. Stop it. Raise your glasses, everyone. Raise your glasses. In this moment, the heavens are alive. This moment is the time of a great visitor that looms above us.

It is a time of great change and a time of destruction. A destruction of the old ways. The sky has begun to crack and bed. and the old masters with their old ideals begin to shake beneath their robes. It is a time where I shall race my hammer and crack open the sky. But in this time we have not one great visitor but two. Fate has blown her trumpet and sent me an ally. Raise your glasses all of you, for the Lady Maddox has returned.

to us. She could not have come at a more fortuitous time. For soon we shall go to see Frederick, and we shall deliver to him the greatest gift ever given to a king, the heavens themselves. Now, remember all of you, the ladies' presents is a gift, but it comes at the price. When she is with us here at Uraniborg, we will all be required to speak this bastard English. One word of dance from any of you and I toss you into the urrassund myself. Do enjoy it when you think I am joking. Now, my lady, please, rise and speak. Uh. Well said, my lady. Now, all of you refill your wine. We have ink and parchment for you all. Let us move to the garden where we will begin to document our visitor in the sky.

The scientist had found herself on an island, in a castle, at the long table of a dinner party. She was surrounded by friends, none of whom she remembered. But she was used to forgetting people. When you seek to contain all of existence in your mind, there is rarely room for others. Well, well, look who snuck him right under our noses. Salutation to you, milady. First question to you, what the fuck are you wearing? You look like a Spanish horseman.

What? Well, at least put this little number on here. It's November and Denmark. Let's cover up, yes? That's a moose. Correct. Uraniborg Castle. Welcome to it.

Denmark. Are we just say? words, milady? I'm in Tico Brahe's castle. Well, it is the only one on the island. Island. I'm on Venn. That is where the Lord lives, yes. I've never been here before.

Never. No. Ah, yes, you warned me about this. I did. Yes, I thought it was one of your little jibes that no one understands, but I'm coming to the realization that you were serious. What did I say? You said that if you ever make an appearance at Uraniburg and begin acting as if you've never met me, not to worry, you sometimes suffer from the strange vapours. Strange vapours. Yes,

you forget things and then you remember them. You said it was an affectation of your brilliance, or something. I have been here before. Indeed. You're dressed like a court jester. Because I am one. I've read about you. Yep. Your name is Yep. The one and only yep. I see it's already coming back, do you? Sure.

Sure. Just give me some time. Of course, me lady. Now, let's move along. The master does hate it when we tarry. What's happening now? We're all going outside to document the visitor. Here's your parchment.

Here's your quill. I have two bottles of ink. Shall we go? Visitor? This way, milady. Musicians, we are moving to the garden. Spread out across the garden and begin your observations, everyone. Oh shit.

She's quite a beautiful lady, isn't she? Well, hello there, C-1577V1. Nice to meet you. In the sky there was a visitor. A bright spot wreathed in myth. with a white veil streaking across the sky, like a bride of the gods. It was brighter than the moon. It outshone the stars.

It hung there in the winter sky, casting its icy glow on the faces of all the onlookers. They would call it the Great Comet of 1577. She would call it C-1577. V1. And there was one who called it a weapon. There it is, Ava. With it we will break the sky. I had no idea how huge it was.

I would ask you why you have not announced your arrival or how you manage to steal your way onto Venn without my knowledge. But instead, I will tell you to get to work. Get to work? Yes. Um, Okay. What's a girl got to do to get a quadrant around here? Your arrival is fortuitous. I have just completed something new.

Yep. Yes, my lord. Bring Lady Maddox to our new creation. She will be the first to use it. Do not let any of the imbeciles near it. Of course, my lord. Right this way, my lady? We shall speak in the morning. I look forward to your observations. A scientist knew her host, but only in legend. His name was Tico Brahe. He was strange, as the brilliant ones often are.

A great horned beast roamed his castle as a pet. He wore a brass nose on his face after losing his in a duel. He was prone to irrationality. would hurl insults of those who tested his patience. But he was the greatest astronomer the kingdom had ever known. And in a time when the sky was such a mystery, kings would grant many things to those who could tell them its secrets. The king had given Tico Brahe an island,

and upon that island he had built a great castle and a great observatory. Kings believed deeply in the power of the stars back then. They believed the stars could tell their future and protect them from harm. They could not know of Tico's plans to bring the heavens crashing down on their heads. Here we are, newly forged and ready for you to do whatever it is one does with it. No way. One moment, well, I like the pyres. Fucking gorgeous.

Oh, she's quite beautiful, isn't she? Especially in the firelight. Made entirely of brass. She had only seen sketches of it in books until now. Tico Brahe's legendary brass as a muthal quadrant. Taller than a tree and pointed at the stars. The scientist had no need for poetry or songs of love. What words caused her heart to flutter?

65 centimetres of radius. 48.8 seconds of arc accuracy. Endless rolls of parchment. An ocean of ink. Pull the chains here and here to rotate it, make it go up and down, all that. My lord, is anticipating your measurements. I'll set your parchment and such upon the

writing table. What else may I get, my lady? Could I? Fuck. I've just realized something terrible. Oh dear. There's no coffee in Europe. Ah, yes. You keep asking for this coffee and we still have no idea what you're talking about. That is so terrible, yep. However, my lord has recently heard of something they have down in Aragon, they're calling it chocola. Is that what you mean? No, but that's not bad. Bring me all of your chokola. Right away, your strangeness.

Okay, Mr. 1577. Let's see what you're made of. And in the measurement, in the notation, in the equation, the rest of the world faded away. The scientist was a wanderer. She had been to countless worlds, both fantastical and mundane. But through it all, there was a constant companion. The integer, the angle, the value, the sum. There was one language strung through every disparate world.

And in this language, the scientist. was its greatest poet. Here we are. I've had the ladies make it all up for you. Oh, yes. I can get used to this. Yes, you have gotten used to it because you have been here before, my lady.

Right. When was that? Several occasions, milady. I've been here several times. Oh, yes. Why do you think the Lord of the Ven went all the way to England to procure you a servant? He hired you for me.

Indeed he did. But you're dressed like the court jester. Yes. Well, I was hired to be your English-speaking servant, but then I think our Lord realized that I'd have nothing to do for the rest of the time, so I made myself useful by being the jester of the court. Not a bad gig, really. You know, free food and wine, a little room above the kitchen.

Not an abundance of joke tellers amongst the Danes. They do see humour as a... foreign import. What the fuck is that? That's your cat, my lady. My cat? Indeed. I have a cat. Yes, you rescued him from down at the water's edge when he was a wee thing, but, as it turns out, the little ones do enlarge over time. Pat underneath all that hair? Seems to be, yes. What does it eat? Oh, whatever it can get its hands on, really. Been an absolute disaster for the mice of the castle. did I name it? Carl.

Carl? Carl of Sagan, you said. But we didn't want to offend the local courtly men and women by giving an official title to a mouse-eater, so just Carl, a mixed company. Great. Hello, Carl. He doesn't like to be moved, so you'll have to sleep around him if he's down for the evening. It's a step up from a booth regardless. What's that?

Nothing. Yep. I just flew in from God knows where. and boy are my arms tired. I need to get some rest. Jesus Christ, what is that painting? Ah, yes, that is the Lord's grandmother. Is she a werewolf?

It's not the most flattering painting in the realm, to be sure. Is the painting melting? No, I'm afraid that's how she looked, bless her. Was it put here as a joke? You requested the painting to be hung in your chamber. But why? It's unclear. All of our other guests have asked for it to be moved

They insist it watches them from across the room Okay Well if I asked for it I guess there's got to be some wisdom to it I suppose Was she attacked by an animal Only an animal called time milady Yeesh

Oh um word of caution The Lady of the House has gotten wind of your sudden arrival And is very keen to chat I'm very tired Oh that's a very tired Oh, that's her now So I know her? You do.

Kirsten is her name. Peach of a girl, really. But she won't be offended if I tell her I need to sleep, right? Oh, she's not easily offended. Great. Kirsten, hello. I'm so very tired from my journey. I have brought two bottles of wine and I have tobacco.

I love you. Welcome. Please come in. Oh, okay. We're on hugging terms then. Hello, yep. Oh, good evening, ma'am. I'll leave you ladies to it. Bright and early in the morning for the Lord of the House, my lady. Sure. How have you been?

Confused. I have brought a pipe for myself, but you still do not want one. I don't? No, I bring a parchment instead. You take the paper and you tear it. Oh, all right. Sure. Have a seat. I have been working very hard on my English. I can tell. sound great thank you i do not learn as fast as the authors have learned yet has given me lessons he's so useful that one okay tobacco oh tobacco so strange what you do with it it's called what

a cigarette is this what they do in paris probably they do everything first there i have finally arrived in Denmark. So, you must tell me off your adventures. My adventures? You always have such stories to tell when you come to a Raniborg. Oh, all right. What have I been up to? Well, I found myself in a distant land called Pasadena.

Pasadena. Where is this place? The Americas. The Americas? A fat is a land of savages. It really is, Kirsten. What were you doing so far away? Well, there were these three sisters, Tida, Labusa, and Kazi.

They had taken over their kingdom after their father had died. But it turns out their father isn't dead. No. Yes. He was faking his death. Anyway, the sisters are now at war with their father over control of the kingdom. Very good. Long story short, I came down on the side of the sisters, so we're trying to figure out a way to kill their dad.

You are fighting gay war? Yeah, you know, warfare is not really my thing, but a lady's got to do what a lady's got to do. So what have you been up to? Nothing such as you. I have been having babies. Gross. Our second arrived in spring. Sophie is her name.

That is two girls now and Tico's family has begun to make little noises about it. Little noises? They want a boy, of course, but Tico does not care. It is just an excuse for them to hate me. They have always thought of me as the dog in the street. What's that about? What it has always been about. I am not a lady as you are.

I am only a commoner. Oh, fuck those people, Kirsten. What do they know? Yes, I know. Tico is always good to defend me. Last year, he threw a vase at his hand. Nice. She tried to have him arrested,

but you cannot arrest the most respected astronomer in Europe. I love that. Scientists should always be above the law. Hey, speaking of your family, What's up with the painting of Tico's grandmother? Yes. It's rough. You have done us a great service by letting it be hung in your chambers.

You're welcome, I guess. Ava, may I ask you, because of this war between the sisters and the father, is that why you have come to see my husband? No. Why? He has been saying very strange things in the past days. He says he will crack the sky open. He says he will bring the stars down on their heads.

Has he made a weapon? Oh, no, not at all. Don't worry. That's hyperbole. Hyperbole. Hyperbole. Hyperbole? Hyperbole?

Um, big talk. Exaggeration. Oh, I see. Can you tell me office work? It is always so helpful to me when you are here. He is very bad at explaining to me what he is doing. Sure. You know, it's actually very important what he's doing.

Is it? Yes. It's pretty cool, actually. Check it out. I'm going to give you a little test, okay? All right. So, the moon. How does it revolve around the earth?

The moon revolves around the earth because of the Himal cooler. Does that mean celestial spheres? It's spheres, yes. Okay. Explain that to me. The moon revolves around the earth because it is embedded in the celestial sphere. A sphere that is like glass and the moon is part of it. As the sphere revolves around the earth, the moon moves with it.

And what about the rest? Mars, etc. Mars is a part of the Martian sphere that wraps around the Earth and the Moon sphere. And then everything else? The stars of the heavens are all a part of the final crystal sphere that revolves around the Earth and the spheres of the Moon and Mars. Good. Have I passed the test? Yes.

Excellent. And all of that is wrong. It is? Yes. It's ridiculously wrong and embarrassing. But this is what I was taught. I know. You were taught that as a child because that's what all of Europe believes right now.

It's a theory that's supported by a surprising amount of very smart people who should really know better. There is no hemel cooler. No hemel cooler. Come out here. I'll show you. Come on. I do not enjoy the comet so much. Oh, yeah? Why not? Are you not afraid it is going to fall into the sea and destroy us?

Kirsten, get your baby-making butt out here. Come on! Very well. Now, if you look up, you can see the long tail, right? Yes. When you look at that, you think that the tail is created by the comet traveling, like a snail leaving a trail across the sky. But I just used your husband's fancy new doohickey to measure it more accurately than anyone has ever measured anything in the night sky.

And what does it tell you? Right now, everyone in Europe thinks that this comet is in the atmosphere. They think it's a huge thing floating right above where the clouds are, but what we now know is that the comet is way, way out there past Mars. It is in the heavens? Yes. And it's getting closer. And if everything was encased in crystalline, himmel cooler spears, things wouldn't be able to get closer, which means that there are no spheres containing the moon and stars. What is holding them in the sky?

Do you want to know a secret? Something I won't even tell your husband? Yes. All right. It's called gravity. It's a force that draws things together, pulls them apart, and brings them into balance. And my husband does not know this? Kirsten, nobody's going to know this for about a hundred years.

Why do we not tell people about this? Honestly, if we told anyone, do you think they'd believe us? I now know something my husband does not. Feels pretty great, right? So, this is why we go to see Frederick tomorrow. Who's Frederick? The king. Wait, what?

The king. We will all go to see him tomorrow. Okay. Um, can I borrow a dress? The scientist had no one. home and was far from anything familiar. It was nothing new. It had always been this way.

As a young girl, she was never at home, even in the safety of her bed. On the playground, she was an oddity. At the party, she was an anomaly. In the library, she was an envenomed serpent. boiled and hidden. In every space, always an interloper. A spirit haunting her own life. And like a spirit,

the only way to remain moored to the world was to find something to disturb. Yep! You screamed, my lord? It is colder than the witch's tit in here. Bring more wood for the fire. Very good, sir. Also, Lady Maddox is waiting

Send her in It's called coffee It comes from a tree in the tropics First, you roast the beans I have no time to hear about coffee again Okay, I'm just saying If you want me at peak performance I have seen your calculations from last night

And It is confirmed The comet was exactly what we needed Soon the world of celestial spheres Will be no more Cool Now what happens It is time.

Oh, that's ominous. Time for what? Time to unveil for the king what I have been working on here at Uraniburg. Oh, yeah? The ticonic system. Sounds like fun. Fun? It will not be fun. What do you mean?

We're about to go in front of the king of Denmark and make fun of Ptolemy. A lot of people don't know this about me. Making fun of Ptolemy is one of my. My favorite ways to pass the time. What? Are you afraid the king's going to reject it or something? Of course he will not reject it. The king is an idiot.

He will not understand what I am talking about. His advisors, the little piglets that follow him around, they will stick their little piglet noses into my theories and cast doubt on them. Oh, don't worry about it. We can take those guys. It is not just totally me we will attack. It is also Copernicus. to hell with both of them.

I see your comportment has not changed since last we met. I like to keep it real, my lord. This time you have arrived alone. Where is your traveling companion? My traveling companion? Yes, the Russian. Russian? Yes.

His name escapes me. The Russian. He had to take care of some Russian business. Caviar, some caviar business. I see. All for the best. I will require your full attention. After the presentation to the king, we will be surrounded by skeptics. We will need to defeat them all.

With swords? What? No? No, not with swords. With our ideas? What the fuck do you mean? It just sounds cooler that way. Oh, don't mind me?

Just an arm full of logs here. Yep. We're going to see the king. Are you coming? We will not bring a jester into the king's court. Yes, I'm afraid that's bad form, my lady. Why not? After we're done, you will not be the biggest fool there. Am I right? Hi-fi. Hi, what? Bring the fool if you must. It doesn't matter.

Nice. Yep. Go upstairs and put on your fancy pantaloons. We will leave shortly. We must wait for Kirsten to try on every. dress she owns and then return to the first one she has tried on. It is infuriating. Yes, I'm afraid the mistress of the manor is a nervous little church mouse where we go to see the king. Why? What's the big deal? We are going to see the king. Yeah, of Denmark. And so the scientists set forth with Tico Brahe toward the castle of the king, carrying with them a secret weapon. The Tyconic system, a new way of imagining the universe. With this system, Tico Brahe would destroy the old ways and make his

island the center of the scientific world. And he would do so with the scientist at his side. The scientists got a strange pleasure from this journey. In so many lands she had visited, scientists were scorned, ignored, persecuted. But in this sense, land, they were given islands, castles, wealth, respect. It was so intoxicating that the scientist was able to ignore one very important fact, that the ticonic system, Tico's great weapon that would bring down the heavens was completely wrong. When the king enters, remember to keep your head bowed, until he sits upon the throne. How am I going to know when he sits on the throne

if my head is bowed? I do not know. How do you do it? I will not be allowed in the court of the king. What? Why? She is not my wife. What? Have we not discussed this?

No. I am a commoner and my husband is a nobleman. The Danish law will not allow us to marry. Seriously? We are allowed to live together and to have children, but the crown will not recognize us as married. You guys have two kids already. And we will have more, God willing.

God willing. So, this whole time you two have been holed up at Yoraniborg living hillbilly style? What is hillbilly style? What do you expect me to do? Go and find some noble woman whose skin is like chalk and who speaks only of topiaries? This is the woman I want. I do not have time to change. Denmark, only the world.

Hey, you're not going to catch me defending marriage. I mean, honestly, it's kind of hot, right? Look at you, too. My parents are quite upset about us. They insist that he has hypnotized me with his power over the stars. Hasn't he, though?

Perhaps a small amount. It's the brass nose that does it, right? Gives him that bad boy look. And what of you? You have arrived this time without your companion. Right. About that. Russian guy?

Yes. We had assumed he was from Russia because of his name. His name? Casper is not a Russian name? Casper? Really? It is not? Uh, sure.

He's Russian. Do you not travel with him any longer? Well, he's very busy with... Business. Russian business. He's the inventor of vodka. Really? Yes.

Don't tell the Polish. I hope he will return with you for next time. He seems to make you very happy. I... I know. Lord Tico Brahe, royal astronomer of the kingdom of Denmark. Hey, we've got an audience. Yes, from time to time the king will make a spectacle out of these presentations.

I despise it. Come on. It'll be fun. Father Christoph Clavius of the Society of Jesus, Professor of Mathematics, Happy Collegio Romano. What the fuck is this? That doesn't look like the king. It is not.

Christoph. Tico. Perhaps there is some confusion. My audience was meant to be with the king. And the king offers his apologies. In his wisdom, he has brought me from the Collegio so that I may review your findings before representing them to His Highness. Review?

Review my findings? Of course, you understand. You have come a long way to simply review my findings, Christoph. No distance is too far to travel for the sake of our sacred art, wouldn't you say? I eagerly await the unveiling of your theories, Tico. I am sure the king will be equally impressed as I am. Should they be presented to him? Why would they not be presented to him?

Tico, I'm sure you understand. I am only here to ensure that the king's time is not wasted. That his time is not wasted? You dare to insinuate that I would waste the king's time. I insinuate nothing. I am here at the pleasure of your king. I will not be treated like one of your students, Christoph. Are we not all students in the eyes of our lord?

Do not give me your fucking... Hey, hey, hey, hey, ho. Just one second, okay? Excuse me, science priest. Just a minute. This is offensive. How dare the king ask me to address this Jesuit fop? First of all, is that actually Christoph Clavius?

No, they have sent an artificial Christoph Clavius to Copenhagen. What the fuck do you mean? Like the Christoph Clavius? The Gregorian calendar guy? Why, are you talking about calendars? Never mind. He wants my theories to be approved. Approved!

Wait, wait, wait. This is great, actually. This is not great. No, check it out. That's Christoph Clavius. He is going to be the official mathematician to the Pope one day. The king is obviously scared that your new system is going to make him look like a fool. So, he's brought in Christoph Clavius to run interference.

Clavius is the poster child for the Ptolemaic system. If you can beat him in this debate that's about to happen, with everyone watching, all those courtly lads and ladies up there are going to start gossiping that Tico just destroyed. the Ptolemaic system. You'll be the talk of Europe in like a week. We're skipping to the final boss right now. I do not understand half the things you say most of the time, but this I understand.

Okay. Bring Kirsten into the room. Oh, yeah? Yes. You brass-nosed little sweetie. Yep. My lady? Bring Kirsten in.

They're not going to like that. my lady. Hey, less talky, more dewy. All right. I'm going to roll out the big guns. Very well. Is there a problem, Tycho? One moment. I object to this treatment, but there are more important things than my objections. I appreciate your understanding. I present to you a new model of the heavens. Tadda! Who is this woman? She is my sister. I'm his sister. From very far away. Sophia.

Sophia is my name that I was born with. Very well. Please explain this new model. We sit now torn between two worlds. We have the old way, the Ptolemaic system. The heavens are encased in crystalline spheres, within which they rotate. And then there is the new way of Copernicus, which holds the sun at the center. A seductive theory from Copernicus, but one that does not hold up under scrutiny

due to our inability to observe any stellar parallax. I present, as a bridge between the two, the ticonic system. The earth remains stationary at the center of the universe, with the sun and moon orbiting around it. But all the other planets, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn orbit around the sun as it makes its yearly circuit of the Earth. This preserves the views of Copernicus while correcting for its obvious deficiencies. Above our heads now is the great comet.

As you will see in our observations, the comet is not in the climate. above our heads, but it is in fact traveling through the stars, traveling through these celestial spheres, you insist, in case the earth. Surely, if these spheres existed, this great visitor above our heads would destroy them and the universe entirely. Yet here I stand. For eons we have clung to the fairy tale of Ptolemy, terrified of an open sky. No, Longer, the skies are open. The heavens are ours to explore. Hey, Ava, what am I doing here?

That's pretty adorable. Tico wanted to show off for his wife. Oh, also, side note, I'm Tico's sister. My name is Sophia. What? Our daughter's name is Sophia. And it means so much to me that you named your daughter after me. Truly.

I must confess, This troubles me deeply. You preserve the Earth's rightful place at the center, yet you surrender the ancient architecture of the spheres. How can the planets orbit the sun, while the sun itself circles our Earth? Do you not see the philosophical absurdity? Absurdity? Yeah! My lord?

Turned a model. Yes, my lord. Witness the elegance of. rotation in my model. Your model would have Mars passing closer to the sun than the earth itself. Somehow passing through your precious

spheres. You can see that with my new model, I have solved this problem. Your observations are indeed admirable but they offend philosophy. You forget what Aristotle has taught us. Each heavenly body requires

its own sphere. The sun has its sphere. Mars another, Venus, yet another. Each in perfect circular motion. Your system tangles these spheres impossibly. Aristotle was wrong. Listen to them. Listen to how they are terrified.

How much of our world is from us. Here, now, and how much is from a time before? The past makes slaves of us all. These are not spheres that encase us, they are chains. We must break them, despite our fear of freedom. Fluid heavens! I see the movements in your planets, Tico, but I also see your movements. You claim that Copernicus is wrong, as you should, for the Copernican model is heresy.

Yet what you have brought us today is half heresy. It is a half step onto hell, make it all the more easier to shove us incompletely. Scripture places Earth at the center, and my observation confirms it. But the planet's retrograde motions, their varying brightness, the phases of Venus I have observed, all these demand that they circle the sun. My system places us not hand in hand with Satan, but with God. It is the marriage of scripture and science, and it should be celebrated. The current system works with only a slight adjustment of the calculations.

You do not mean adjustment. You mean distort. You claim your system is sacred. Yet you must twist and bend it to make it fit within the world of observable science. How does God feel about such things, do you think? My system is elegant and simple. It requires none of your machinations. Simplicity is not truce.

The ways of God are often. Complex and mysterious. And do you worship God or Ptolemy? Show me where in scripture it reads, God then made Ptolemy, and he made him in the light of perfection. Ptolemy was a man as you and I are, and men are flawed.

I tell you, I have looked into the eye of God, and he has shown me this perfection. Who now goes against the word of God? Now we're talking. Yep, go make me some popcorn. Like what? That was dope. Yep.

Where's the booze in this limo? I'm afraid we have no imbibements, my lady. Yep. Are you trying to tell me you have no wine up there? I'll send it down. Excellent. I cannot believe I was standing in the court of the king. That's not the court of the king.

That's our court now. We own that place. They all looked at me as if I were a sheep, running around, but I did not care. It was thrilling. You were amazing up there, Tigo. If Germans were capable of showing emotion, Clavius would totally have been crying.

I was so proud of you, husband. You showed such bravery. They will be coming for me now. What do you mean? I have delivered a great injury to the Ptolemyic system. Every scientist and scholar in Europe has been made a fool of They will try and discredit me in any way they can They will crawl all over my equations like ants on honey

Your equations are rock solid You've got nothing to worry about I must strive for more accuracy Nobody has more accurate measurements than you It's your whole thing They will try to destroy me I have never been more endangered than I am now Husband

Tico You're being paranoid You do not know them as I know them. We are in danger. Jesus Christ, this fucking 16th century footwear! Kitty, kitty, kitty. Nothing? Oh, there you are.

Good evening, Carl. How's the mouse murder going? I know what you're thinking, Carl. You're thinking, Ava, shouldn't you be trying to figure out a way to get back to the diner right now? Why are you wasting time with this Danish nonsense? Well, the thing is, Carl, I am an ideas person. Not really a, the other thing, person. Besides, it's fucking late Renaissance Denmark.

What am I going to do? Make a particle collider out of horsehair? Besides, I'm not a maker of things. I am a thinker of things. I think things. and it makes people make things. It's a very powerful feeling, Carl. No, you're making excuses.

Okay, Carl, I cannot stand this painting of Tico's grandmother anymore. It's 100% a nightmare factory. They're not going to mind if I take it down and make it face the wall, right? Right. Let's go, Auntie Cryptid. You're killing the vibe in here. Hello? What is this? Carl, are you hiding contraband behind the paintings again?

This doesn't belong in 16th century Denmark at all. Hello, gorgeous. Not to myself, this thing where only I would find it. And then I realized the hideous portrait of Grandma Brahe. What the fuck, Eva? So, what you are holding in your hand? right now? Well, Leif made it, so of course, it's a few things. I can record little messages on it. The little screen there will give you a comprehensive map of the night sky. And also, it's a signal focuser. Still got your space pager?

Shit. Attach the pager to this device and it'll amplify the signal and focus it so it can be aimed at a particular location. Okay. Then what? How the fuck do I button this thing? You're doing fine. God damn it, every time we come here, I look like a fucking Danish horse junk.

That's not a thing that people look like. What are you doing? I'm leaving a message for myself. Oh. You really think that's going to work? Of course it's going to work. I thought of it. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Why can't some of these parties be business casual, is all I'm saying. Don't be stupid. You know you love the moose. I know. It's majestic. Okay, hurry up. We're already late.

Figure out your buttons. So, anyway, attach your pager to this thing. Aim the signal with Tico's quadrant. If you aim it at the sun, the signal will get amplified by several factors. Then you just wait. Simple enough. And Casper's out of earshot now so we can have some real talk. I already know where your brain is going right now because your brain is my brain.

I don't know why we're like this either, sweetie. I just don't know. You're holding the key to go home right now, and yet your brain went to a totally different place, didn't it? Yes, in case you're wondering, you can aim the signal anywhere you want to aim it. Or, not at all. And here's some reassurance? Just between us, girls? Yes, he'll forgive you.

In some kingdoms, the scientist had another name. She was called the Disappiricist. As the legend goes, she would, without warning, suddenly vanish, never to be heard from again. She found it to be a fitting name, not because she truly had the power to vanish into thin air, but because in all her travels across so many lands, she had often wondered, was I ever really there? What do you think, Carl? Home? You probably love that I'm here. You probably think I should bury this thing in the ground. Burry it in the ground. Shit. Ava, I need a little more time, okay?

Carl, I'll be right back. Evening, Moose. Aifa, it is very late. What is it? I figured it out. Tico! Apha. I am currently conducting a very thorough search for my third child beneath the bed sheets of my husband.

Oh, oh, sorry, right. Okay, here, tell him this. This will get him in the mood. I figured out how to get more accurate readings. We're going to bury it in the ground. Burry what's in the ground? The whole fucking observatory. Mom?

Yep. Where have you been? You have left me alone in the street. Oh, don't trouble yourself, ma'am. You blend imperfectly with the common folk, especially all the way over here in Amsterdam. No one knows who you are. I told the boatsmen.

your name was Mavis Bacon's. I could have been abducted. Oh, a thousand apologies, Mavis. We're not often in the low countries, so I thought I'd do some quick shopping. Um, where is Lady Maddox? She is still in the pop. All this time? She is negotiating with the builders.

Why did we have to come all the way to Amsterdam to simply hire builders? Remember, we're trying to be more stealthy these days, as the Lord of the House feels as though we're being watched. Also, if you want something built well, always ask the Dutch. This whole country was constructed out of a swamp. Pratny teche me, heert. All I'm in simple a pack, Esel, Vildasau I met your mother, can prattin. Oh, go shove your thumb in a dike.

Hey guys. Why were you screaming at those men? I was negotiating. They're going to do it. They just needed a little smacking around. They sounded very angry. What if they follow us? They agreed to do it.

They just like yelling. Besides, I told them my name was Ravenstrom Dans. What name did you pick? She's a Mavis Bacon's, Malagia. They are going to build this observatory in the ground, even though no one has done this before. Yes, Mavis. They like the challenge. Very well.

Can we please go home now? I believe people are looking at us strangely. Well, with a name like Mavis, what did you? you expect? Aifa. We need to hit a bakery first. Have you ever had speculus? Come on.

How have you learned to speak Dutch? Oh, there was this guy, Brian Passley. We is the same shorthand, so he would always be taking a little looky-lou at my notes. I hate that. And since murder is illegal, I had to come up with another solution. I discovered this shorthand called Krota. It was really obscure, so I figured it was a little obscure, so I figured it was a little the best way to protect my work. But it's Dutch shorthand, so before I learned the shorthand,

I had to learn Dutch. I don't understand you. Exactly my point. Aifa, can we stop, please? I thought you wanted to go. May I speak with you. What's up? You have been acting strangely. I always act strangely. Ever since we have returned from the king's castle, you are... Something wrong. Nothing's wrong. I'm just excited. Aifa. Yep. Head down to the docks and get our boat ready, would you? Oh, would you get me some stroke, waffles?

Sure. Very well. What is wrong? I have a decision to make. What decision? Going one way or the other. Can you tell me more than just that? No, not really. It's... hard to explain.

So, rather than make your decision, you have stayed with us in Denmark? I... I like it here. I also enjoy it when you are here. I understand Tico much better when you are here. I wish for you to stay, but... I do not think that you would be happy if you stayed. People like me...

And like your husband, we get obsessed with things. And then there's also people that come into your life and they, it's hard sometimes to have obsessions and people in your life. And this is the decision you must make. Yes, my husband does obsess. but he also has me. I don't know how to do that. It's been a long time since I've had a girlfriend. There's a version of me out there somewhere who would be happy here.

I hope she shows up one day. As do I. But first, we're going to get these Dutch motherfuckers to dig a big hole in the ground. For weeks, the scientist watched as the men dug. into the earth to construct the subterranean observatory. To an outsider, the idea might seem foolish. Why dig a hole to look at the stars? But beneath the earth, viewing the stars through a portal

would keep the wind from milling the instruments and block out the light from the nearby city, going deeper to look farther. As she watched the workers from her balcony, the scientist could see something on the horizon. Not a planet, not a star, but a decision. Come in? Hello.

Hi. I am pregnant again. Gross. It is a boy this time I can feel it. That sounds like science. If it is a boy, what should I name? him. A poofy thing. Ava. Another monster? Aifa.

Patrick Stevens. Patrick. What? You shouldn't ask me these things. I know this now. Say congratulations for having a baby. Congratulations for having a baby. The workers are almost done. They should finish up today. Are you certain that this will protect Tico from criticism? numbers always win in the end.

He needs more numbers and better numbers. That hole in the ground will do the trick. And then, when it is done, you will have to make a decision. Yes. I seem to speak more to you than you to me. Do you wish to speak to me about your mysterious decision? Or do you wish to be? mysterious.

I wish to be mysterious. Ava, I do not know where you travel when you leave us. I make up stories in my mind. Many heroic stories of Ava in the world. When you go and travel to your next adventure, will you always remember that there is a woman surrounded by children on the island of Fien? and that she is your friend. Yes.

Perhaps if my baby is a girl, I will name her Ava. It's going to be a boy. But thank you anyway. Good evening, Your Majesty. Out for late night observations. Hi. The builders have finished their work, but they have said to wait a week for the stones to settle.

I promise to tiptoe We run from We run too Which is it for you then Always coming and going from you runnyborg When it's time for me to go It's time for me to go Of course

You have been here for only weeks And you have transformed my research Just think what you could accomplish if you stayed I don't think Denmark is the place for me. Not here. Not to Runnyborg, not Denmark, not Europe, anywhere. Just think what may happen one day when the lady Maddox finally decides to plant her feet upon the ground. That's not where my feet belong.

What is it that scares you? Nothing scares me. There is one thing. It is this. To stay. Why? You want to know why? Please.

Your ticonic system. What does my model of the universe have to do with this? It's wrong. You have seen my calculations. You've seen your calculations. You've put Earth at the center of the universe. That is correct. Copernicus is right.

You know Copernicus is right. it's the sun, not the earth. Then why put the earth at the center of the universe? Why tell the world how the universe works when you don't believe it? I believe much of it. That's not good enough. It was a compromise between the old system and the new. Why?

Why compromise? You could have been the greatest astronomer in Europe. I am the greatest astronomer in Europe. I am also a nobleman who fell in love with the daughter of a blacksmith. My family must be protected from scorn, from ridicule. That, that right there, that's why I leave. That's why I don't plant my feet on the ground. You are afraid of the choices you would make should you care for another.

This is why you leave. This is why you have arrived here without your Russian friend. You care nothing for your life, only for the secrets of the cosmos. Yes. There are worlds to be known other than the ones above your head. Not for me. Then goodbye. I wish you well.

Goodbye, Tico. Into the night, the scientist surveyed the sky for one last time, making notations for Tico's flawed vision of the universe. She hated to do it, but it was her parting gift. It was time for her to move on, time to make a choice. The cosmos was not the only thing she calculated that night. On one side, safety. Home.

On the other side, the beyond. She was frustrated at how difficult the choice had become. God damn it, fucking ink. Invent the pencil, you're up. There. There you go, Tico. There are a bunch of measurements for your deeply flawed model. shove it up your Danish butt

Oh Look who decided to join the party Hello Carl As the construction Disturb the mice Carl If you've come to stop me I'm afraid you'll need more than some claws

And all that hair I'm afraid my mind's made up You may want to stand back There we go Just past Leo Now, what would be funny is if Lee fucked this thing up and it doesn't work at all. I'd ask you why I'm like this, but you probably don't know either. As she waited, the scientist thought of a man.

Somewhere in Europe, right at that moment, there was a man walking along the road, wandering from town to town, telling his story. That man was named Giordano Bruno. Bruno had many ideas that were outside of his own time, that the universe was infinite, that it was filled with billions of worlds just like our own, and that on those worlds there may be creatures no different or very different from us.

Bruno was obsessed with his vision of the universe and saw it as his destiny to walk the land and tell anyone who would listen about the vastness of the cosmos and the great continuum we were all a part of. At night, Bruno would close his eyes and envision his universe, his feet leaving the earth,

rising up from his earthly prison, enjoining the synchronicity of all things. He was able to do this, even when his ideas were condemned as heresy. And the final year, years of his life were spent in a heretics prison. Bruno had no family to speak of. No loved ones.

Only his vision. He was unencumbered. He had no one to consider when he rose at night to join the ebb and flow of the starways. The scientist had always seen herself as the same. Unencumbered, free. But of late, she had begun to feel something. Something pulling her back to the earth, keeping her from rising into her vision of the universe. Something keeping her from the secrets she sought.

What is holding on to me? she thought. What is this hand that grasps me, holds me to the earth, keeps me from the mysteries I long for? And then, to her surprise, the scientist looked back to see there was no force that held her. That the hand that grasped her and tethered her to the earth was her own. The scientist clung to something beloved, something unnamed. It was the last thing keeping her from the great revelations. He is going to be so mad at me, Carl. You rang, doctor?

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Corsair, Toracle, Jenny the Bear, GER, Bellringer, Sir Dean Thorne, Treech! Josie Jones, Mr. Fibble is Very Cross, hoot potato. Dr. Mojo postulates the end list, endlessly splintering off as Bethany and Bertbert's caboose until its end lists all the way down. Dave and Buster server manager, ready to serve all the Bethany's of Monte Cristo's, Blind Time Traveler Convention Date, L.A. Woman, the Phoenix Rising. New name, God. No, not him. Jeff Andrew?

Sure. Jeff Andrew. Miss Luan, a British woman with cute dogs, cup of noodles, shmizzy two shoes, Luna Nova, Nicholas Griffith, Matt Grigsby, Justin Smollin, Riku-321, Craig Dundee, the name's Knight, with a K, Astral C, Ickle Me Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too, Guy with the Chops, Sam, Mitchell Yee, Bagel Knife, Inmelda and Scott, Courtney Cochran, Lily Starling, Ryan Kay, Devin 777777 has been my fave verbal stem for months, Nate, forklift, Vance, Foncift, M. Brick, Brick, Chip, Radio Free Relya, Violin' Lov's Middy, Brian Passley, Subawasa, Grenna, Pistonwhip, Captain Ducky, Blitz Bell, Lasersaw, of the Shreveport Lasersaws. Our overhead is way too high with all of these names, and please make sure to turn in all receipts. Love, Josh from accounting, Satzuma, Siliest Go-Sucous, Dr. Jones, I can't believe it's not Bethany, Coach Shane of Toad Sucx Central, Go Cranes, Cole Arthur, Lego Cuisant, Cassade, Norwin, Norwin, Mergler, Chase and her army of Turtles, join the Bethany War. The Star Set Messengers want to know if you've written that four-page essay on why you don't think about bugs. Joe Kappa, Wee be chopping broccoli, icy fish, the hacker known as Ivy DeBurb, Edward MacDonald, a feisty-ass chickade, poultry landmine, the scrappy poet, Jenny the cryptid paladin, maverick artist, shit, it was a mimic, basil in their tea, waiting to gossip

with David, Ainslie, yeah, yeah, yeah, Angnor, A-T-B, Kiwi-Lovelybead, Zoe, Dr. Professor Bethany-Wethany Lethany-Lethany Woofee McLevenberger, M.D. Esquire, and that's not pretentious at all, a-ahm, is looking for a cure to the Bethany mutation that the Society of Bethany's began the War with so many years ago. Michelle Spurgeon, Jack the Sleepy, Garrett Henderson, quote, still trapped, but I've stopped asking why, the freezer is, I am, we chill. Son of Defarge, Wisco Teach, Scott A. Snellgrove, give Peas a chance. Samalama Ding-Dong, Sarah, that's it, just Sarah. Ricardo Galamba, Carrey's Crafty Cloaking Devices, LLC. hashtag we weave him of Gossamer

Deeringer, Penny the Wonder Dog and Bucky von Buckbuck, Ken Tex-Oridian, Cherry Appleby, medium rare extra toasted bun, Tofer Hart the Gay, saucy Caesar, Belt, Aspen is a Verge fanboy, Mick J-67,

Ava's favorite My Little Pony pencil wants Joe to slap into a snim gym. Is this thing recording? Mr. and Mrs. Drifter, representative of the Alaska Midnight Burger Tummy Time chapter, Nathaniel Lee Industries. Sir Dreadmore Spiba is wondering

if Bethany likes Nightbrose, Lord Entropy, Bach Bach, motherfucker, everybody's favorite clowns, Splotchy, Pinstrike algorithm, kosher steak. Gabriel Stryl would like to remind you that it's Gabriel, not Gabriel, and would also listen to a six-hour shift notes. Alyssa's shiny pants, Goddor calls for aid, muscles for tits, Arnold Rumspringer, the demise of the Temple of Bethany's. Alan Bergland says, Hi Mom, Kitty McSull. Ravenstromdans, hapless novelist passenger of the dimensionally impermanent and temporally incontinent

bookshop cafe the wild-eyed prophet tessa craig perfectly personalized disaster richard showfeld jim turner lux luminos havie de narrow big chunk gaddeeds bingo sticky rice boom boom's wooden leg will the real muaddeb please stand up kitty cat and lollipop can't get enough of this jillian c judeon 96 benjamin not franklin tracy baby lea is that the chris hancock who traded weekly soup for the use of my kitchen table A singular nightbird. Bethany reading in a green field. I am the lizard frantically firing flichet guns. Bumblefay.

Mr. Epsilon. The Mothman. Long-haired Matt. DJ. Lini Harris. Robert W. Breelzebub. Kresimira.

Jessa Lorin. May Day Hoops. Myth and Stitch embroidery loves the mucklewains. Lulu Louise. Duleo. The Brew Kru family. Bert Ruba, your most benevolent lord and master of the multiverse. Jeffrey George.

Exquisite whimsy. Ellie. Don't tariff me, bro. Oopsie! Evelyn. The Wizard Mooses holds out their cat for you to pet. Gremlore. Existential pancakes. Genniwaboo, boom.

Errant Popsicle Stick. M. Horowitz. Isle of Refuge. Jack Spider's mom. Bubble But Bethany has banana breath. Lama Fresh. Jair the Benevolent Destroyer. Valtiel Heller.

Revin the Red Beard Wizard. Bert Bird and the Funky bunch. Corora the 12th. Just listen. Damian Fletter John. Zom Khan. Bethany 2. Electric Buglew.

Welcome to the Kwan Pound. Penn, Penn, Pin. Mr. Mucacho, Kaisers. is bringing an anchovy pizza to Lars on Omega Station. The wolves in the deep freeze say awo! Julie Hammond, Sanctuary Moon's number two fans. Simpson, Jason, Alice Lewis, Simply Amy Sue, I pushed her. Bethany, that is.

Even older Liz, McBearcat, Grak Pinfeather, Citicendruitic scientist, Astro, your friendly neighborhood android, Moonlight Zombie Fox, Old Doc Racy, the Midnight Missionary, out there somewhere looking for you. Rotten Ronnie sleeps in Grandma Panties. Eldrich Ender. Skolwunky. Artist Dragonborn. Bigby Garage. Bill Zangana Lester. Wakene Jimenez. Hello, Big List. I'm Dad. Now let Joe get some rest. It's time for bed. Muffins. Spacewives.

Chad Hatter, Space Mage in the War Against the Bethanies. Captain Jack Harkness wants Peter the robot. Oreo? Oreo. No wait. Pineapple. Actually, never mind. Oreo. Tell your cat, I said. Sp-ps-ps-p-p-p-p-pish-pips. Banana Manaz. A corgi-cold kibble. Cudley Crackin. Life's a load studio. and his wife Megonator. Axel Light, Sarge the Bard, Sominity, Rielthan, L.L. Coolment Jams, Travis Robertecus, the other original Caitlin, Kandaddy, Celestiani, the jaded umbra get slightly less jaded as peace once again returns to the land. Leah Izadi, Millie was taken, Hannas, Ben Camp, Shanman, Man Man, Karma Camillion, Kinran wishes everyone a healthy new year, Wabajack, Lady Bethany, aka Mrs. Turkey Spit, Zoe and her army of mine,

Nice. Breyer Long Lost. Daniel. Sammy the Baby Seal. I have always relied on the kindness of diners. Dr. Budiologist the glutes doctor. The hood's pocket electricians union reminds you that we're always here to check your shorts. Tobias Ewing. Thank you for pressing two. Your anglophone emotional support Canadian request will be processed in the order in which it was received. Queen Sirley Jess. R. IP Lance McLean, you would have loved Midnight Burger. Adam Toclove, Dr. Bichcraft, Sassy Cat the Space Vixen, Claire Rock, Jekka, Eros to God. The size two fish you've been looking for. E.okai. Borgia.

Natasha without Boris. Spiders are cuddly. Lafayette lasagna lovers won. The main immortal thinks it should be Kandadios. Cheel. Neal. Sin City Scuba Steve. Polywag.

Macala White. Elena Pickle. Wilbur Winklewright, Wrist Watch Wrangler of West Worstichur finally spots Red Nell as the Carnage clears. Professor Thaddeus Snookams the 8th. Mr. Grin. Glenn Petrovsky.

This moment of silence so Joe can catch his breath is brought to you by Rick Tyler. Silence. Elizabeth Hammond. Cheap con. Yeah, you heard me. The real cheap con. Except no imitations. Steam Vision, conductor of the interdimensional time-spanning hype train. Dave Harold. Wisecube. Dirty diaper fuss butt and the piggy runt. Bro mine pronounced bro mine. Mane. Habdinga. Mother of Pearl. Fiona now owns Laves 18-inch Peter. Sealface, rigor mortis. Megan's Things Megan makes. Corey Elaine. Trebex Reject. Prophet of the God of the Mucklewains. Leif loves laser duns left lying lackadaisically by Labusa. Igneus burp, Darth Ox.

This brief pause is brought to you by Michelle Kay's wish for Joe to catch his breath. Aaron Arnold. 50 bananas a week. Mamamander, B. Raws and sluntmaster J. Alpacalypse. God, is that you? No, it's butters. Elliot Paints, undead Akira,

The Lord Reverend. Porgatos Pecks. Unselling Wizard. Ryan. Thomas's 10, Tenebrous Taffel Tippers, treading treacherously tantamount to telling totalitarian. and trope termination tales. The Lovely Lara Lovely. Kith Gamgee Sam Wise's Flamen Cousin' Cousin' Rale. Jeremy the ruler. Gochi. Hair Hawks. Jacob Mitchell. Swooning for Verge. Zeke in the box.

Stevie Crowhill. How to get Jack from John. Flesh witch riding a flesh meck through the multiverse. Scrubs. Just some guy from Adelaide named Royan. Remy. The panda crew. Melody Prime. Beardotow the wizard. Captain Benjamin a hawkeye pierced the German short hair pointer from Nashville wants to tell his mom Maddie that he says, whoof, whiskered. It sounds like Bethany, but the Beth is silent. Marissa the Ghost, local snowplows in your area are dying to meet you. Rutherford B. Chesterfield and his dapper companion Winchester. Cheshire Corgi, Stray Cat, Old Kelsey No Shoes, Zoldia, Dizzy Flame, We Serve Everyone eventually. Sasha, Beth and Alan Van Gillis, Langston North, Sly Fox, aka Bray Rabbit, Pants Darts Champion, the Constantly Lost

Geographer, Timothy Aiotis, Chance wants you to know, he cares. Wolfstark, Adrian Vance, Elliot, Natalie Bartlett, Rory of Yin, Mooby the Golden Calf, Kirion, Giovanni Salinas, Rocky G, Perry the Pirate, Aaron Elizabeth, Kay Narcotics, Solomon Price, a daydream you won't escape, Angela Sanchez, Ava M, Bubba 485, aka Shimmelbach the Christmas Whale. Kaiju Somelier says, Rest in Peace, Layla, Lump, and Cinnamon, three long-time members of the POS CAP thread. We love you always. Stella Corvis, Jesus Garcia, J.P. The IT guy, Candyman Fight, Sandwich, John Peters, you know, The Farmer, Barclay on the Holladeck, SCP-049, O Magis,

Raven the Dreamer, TK Turtle King, Mike M, Space-Based Lasers, Captain B and Lady G with their swabs, Marla, Madame Lotus, still especially loves Finley. Mr. Steamwave, My friend the thick battle unicorn reminds the Bethany's to be nice. Hoop Challenge. Dream Founder. I'm your Huckle Barrett. Elizabeth T. Tie Tie the Wonder Hamster and her dear darling Duke. Grandpa Gus.

Boombastical Kim Licker. Coco Yumi is painting ponies. Hugamuffin. Big Foot of Doom. D.L. Annie Atkins. Crandy Man the Pug Whisperer. Garrow.

Our cat said to tell you. Meow. You boy of indeterminate origin. Benjamin Ortiz. Mr. A Frog President, Pop Rock Quicksand, the Benyapper, aka Kroc, the Pot of Taters. Mr. Squizzle, Sizzle, Whizzle, The Horrendous, apologizes for conspiring in the Bethany War, invites for tea are being sent now.

Abanaso, Trina Ward, Adelor, Trans Space Dinosaur, Spooky Spader Storytime, William Kent, Andy, the McJimys from your local dimension, Xavier Killingsworth, Lane Kiffin is a hoe, Mimetic Hygienist, Rogue Art, Aaron Star Joshua Damien, and Sentinel of the Star System, Claude de Clause, Spunky Dan, Rachel Seymour, Chis Alfridge, the bullheaded Professor, Alexander La Roque has brought La Guillotine to assist the Bethanies in their survival war, Vive la Revolution, Ed Boy, Ryan Finnelly, Jonathan Kay, Pearl Null, Another Monster, Petabyte Avatar, Tugwin the Mighty, Project Octopus, Ken, Chibs 1012, Scotty Oates, Byrotron 95, Dan's granted clemency by his overlord parents. Dance Break!

Speakoo. Remember Nightcourt? Wonder if it holds up. Simply Tony. It will always be Finley's workhole to me. If you know, you know. Gabriel Castion. Whom, what, when, where, and why is what all the Throgronies say while listening to Midnight Burger. Nico de Gaio goes great on Midnight Burgers, a drum major and a trapeze artist walk into Connie's bar. Sir Party Animal. Byro the motherfucking dragon is willing to solve the Bethany War with Yatsy. Uloy Jackal. Ari sure, you Mike Rob, the Nancy Sinatra. Court need to leave it alone if you want to live. Must be a witch. Cat with a K.

My figuroni has a first name. Stompidstein El Mustachio. Lucifer Hezekiel, La Chihuahua Brava, Adelaunette, Adelaun Petz, Cic-Carracill, Cors, the Destroyer, Honest Puck, Casper's Mom's a Miltf. Scout and Foxglove says the floor is lava. Red Nell, hiding in a crowd of Bethany's to avoid capture

by Wiley Wilbur Winklewright, Wrist Watch Wrangler of West Worstisher. Kardomsky, Craig Armstrong, plastic fork, dulcette de leche, get at a mobooth, bug, propagator, I hardly know her, sad angry crabman, Chuck McFenley, Effie and Zebulon's trans great-granddaughter Hazel Hayes, Velocity Girl 42, Little Dragon in a cauldron of bats, Ben Carlisle, Flat Steve's Love for Grand Thief, Anna Kearney, Crashly Strange Lilia, the four schnauzers of the Apocalypse, Starblaze Burnbright, Imzukioki, Spotted Rhino and her hand-me-down frogs, Red Mafia Panda,

only aisle, Kai Dallow headphones, Hinkle, Pikeman Stover, Fondella Stover, Pikeman Stover's wife, Surnaculus, Scrizels, Fwap, Gitty, Gitty, the Firekeeper, the End is Nye, Jeremiah the canceled, librarian Alex, Spike and Faye, Speedy McSpeedy, Eli, Wolf, Brandy Gunter, Auntie Becky is owned by five rescue cats, speckled unicorn, Jedi rides again with Nova the Space Pirate, Tevin Longblade Short Sword, Forget Normal, a damn, C.J Johnson, a dragon sitting on its hoard of dice. Wendell Whitaker, Ficich, Smivey, Globed Rulette, Andrew Fuller, Ban Me Hoong, The Soup Witch, Bender FtW, Fettysh, Fettyshanyi Alphredo, Cowboy and Sasquatch Hans Bethenies,

Amalgamus Pax, Pebbles, V-V, Effy Rawlings, Megan Hazen, Philip, Your Dad is Not Your Dad, Nick Beauree, Midnight Plummer, His Royal Highness, Mr. Hamilton Underfoot Kitty the First, and accomplice, Princess Penelopee the Marchioness of Mischief and Maven of Mystery. Megan Gentry. Mr. Cherry loves baby Bach Choi. Happy anniversary. Our asses in the jackpot. Tubby Teddy, Wayne Hiser, India Inkblot, Sleve of Bahamette, Omie Gracie, Dalton Jenkins, Kat Holtz, the True Mega Mike, Fred and George, Lvinia, Ava Maddox Jr., L.A. Mattox Jr., L. Wittance, Yeat, My Boy, 46 Toolshed 2, and El Marie Catastrophe, The Image Collector,

Blended Music, Definitely Not Kevin, Sitting Squirrel, Patricia E Melt, missed everyone, A round of yarks on the house. Red the gray, the Silver Crow, Couch Potato Alex, Neverchild, Dr. Nossos, Interdimensional Biologist, Caboco Dune, Lil Kev, Kozamein, Theodrax, Lucas Barding, Lil Debbie Cupcake.

Terran says, hey, Oreos are Rabbit. Sandlewood Mountain offers peace for your soul. Whimsical fuckery, Megan with an H. Hey, it's warranty lady, look, I've been thinking, maybe it's best if we, you know, saw other people for a bit. I need more. Patricia the Time Lord. Is it, though?

Mango connoisseur, Brady Bug and The Quirky Jester, The Big Moose demands justice for Betty and Maloo. That old glory coal. Janelle Miao-Nays Cat Butler. O'Sheen Lou. Alex Barry, Andrew Oakden, Asymmetrical Exile. Churro Cat, the Sun God. Eliza Travels the Universe. Alex Spence.

Dr. D. Birdcloth, Spweather, and Mrs. Dubboewebbeda Birdcloth's Wether want to say hello to the whole Swether family. I lost my Galaxy Britches in a game of pants darts. Angry Ron. Dominus Caesar. Dirkadub. Gloria's ex-girlfriend, Kelly Clickspring, The Wild Thistle, most likely Cass, James Harlow saw the claw and named it Bethany, the sweet planetary aroma of Fiona's grilled cheese sandwiches. Jasmine James, Dr. Cabr-Abert, also known as Omni, Thanks Waffle Chateau.

Colorado Beekeeper, Fruitcake, Anatha, Zandria, Jennifer Culkin, Guacamolio, Midday Burger, Don Parks, Throat Goat 666, Oh my God, My Dad Found Out About My Patreon Name, Princess Leia, Sonic Boy 99, would like a Bethany-But sandwich but will settle for a fish in a bag. Prime Freak. Protector of the Scottish Realm, Lil Lord Stevie Pie. Droid Pirate Finley and his Rubin-esque parrot. Droid Pirate Findlay and his Rubin-esque parrot. Stuck at a pit of Skittles.

Sea Squatch. Deflatermouse. Tony Piacarski. Adrian R. The devil from Table 12. Javier. Kemberdurp. Crazy Thadley.

The Harbinger Pulsar. Cremulus is just happy to be here. The Twisted Twixter. The rural juror is a massive fan. Faye Queen, Upshnar to the Probability Demolition Expert, Showtime, C.R. Ipted. For my mother. Homer, are we doing crimes? CCTX Girl 6823 waiting on the diner, Nicole Studioso. Announcing, Sign My Shovel. Droid Pirate Finley and his Rubin-esque penguin?

Truck Stop Sandwich, Indigo Escargo, Love My Captain, Joe Mauma, Wandering Biscuit, Castriff, Ames Affection for Internet Protection, Retro-M-M-G, NightScript, The Gainesville, Fear Garden. Lana bananas in pajamas are coming down the stairs. Lana bananas in pajamas are chasing teddy bears. Uchredin Rose's Viking Void vitals fueling the intergalactic fight against fascism. Not sure what I'm doing. Leah Rose, River Brown, Senior Deuce, Scullacy, Warped Rider, Tim Nacey, Ruben Clamzo, Turwin, Hugh the Minimungo, Morgan Brockman, Sylvie, Friendly Neighborhood Fire Protection Engineer, Skull Bulb. Dustin Watson, Betty White, 13, Randy Supreme and Queen. The Lancaster, The One True Cheap-Con, Starscribe, Lucian Thunderstruck. Ho!

Ma'amma! Glorbnar 7 now granting refugee status to victims fleeing the Bethany Wars. Dooser now identifies as Roman dirge. The Other Adel, Chef Galval, Leah Hall, Sarah May. Cone of Silence, Consultants, LLC needs fresh towels in Room 3 at the horizon. Silly Willie Bubblebutt, Sierra not from Arkansas. Zico! Ebenezer Boob, Caleb Tuimala.

Jason Woods, Arnie Arbuckle Esquire, Digital Flouf Lost in Time, Potom, Pothian, Pocate Meas, Nebulae, Nell, Regulators, Mown Up, crinkle over coffee, Mad Yogi Eileen, a cat named M, Petito Pato, Demonic Narwhal 8, I Am Annie, I live forever in every moment I've existed, I swear to every star in the cosmos, I never forgot, it was a gift, The Stone Fox, Tricia Schaefer, Silvia, Juciton, Pippitos, Boinghauer, Bethany in a random place, Jennifer Baumer, Ninja Grim Reaper, Miles, Nelson. I am a bomb till I think of something better to do. Burt Words. Hot shot Huntley,

Momo's Mama's Mama, Space Mormon says what? Ivy Paisley, Toast, Sue Watts, Myrtle, Caitlin, Leader of the Unicorn Revolution, Trans-Dimensional Delivery Man, Matlock, Lord of the 13th Sea, Mr. Trigvey, Printing with Cats, Calisi Del Mar, Von Vega, Dixie Dina, 7,000 Possums, Sarah Jack Sparrow Space Pony, Revibe, Debbie E, Emma, Mr. and Mrs. Owo, Dusty Ventures, and his pilot Uzi drifted through space. Gloria's line cook, eagle rock lobster, the gabbiest painter and her bird of fire! Wandering Wenjo, Painted Oni, Q. Dell, Farel,

Emily with two E's, Spaceman Nathan, Ramsey's Niblick the third, Kruplunk, Whoops, Where's My Thribble, Mad Goat, Jackie Wavlet, Ye'oy Gagarin, Issa the Strega, D. Gritesler, a Gremlin with the Munchies, Michelle Scorakio, Genuine Jacob, Andy's brain is weird, Space Rooster Randy, Leopard Donut, Poofee Thang, Mellow Nuggets,

Keychain crap, Matt Mack Sharkman, Stee-Lo, Arcadia, bumbling lilybee, a quick pause so Joe can sip from his tiny teacup. The tea is cold by the time I get to this point. FYI. Bufardice Nuts. Panda, Curtis Lillick, Kennedy Allison Farner, Tristan Stolls, Dalyan Y, Shadow Rapture, yet another Nicole, Hank the Wonderlanta, Arcraft, Ruffol, Ruffer, Ruffer, Ruffer, Ruffer, Ruffer, Ruffer, J to the Lin, Rhyrhus Wind, The Ornament, J to the Lin, Inns, What the Hell, Sinaplex, and all the Black people in North Carolina. Just Rachel. Waffles, waffles, waffles, waffles. Danger girl, Atlas Bear, Patty the Ginger, Ava's Cigarette Ash. Hugh Biffed it. Azeus. Anaphylaxis, scab with Comtacks, the shape-shifting sad girl and her girlfriend say, Joe, you've done it again. Bibby Baba. Sarah Nicole. The Kells fights with the Bethany's Lasersaw. Magnus Aerochill, Amy Perry, Christopher Kai,

Searstakey, the Spweather Carolyn Banger, Skexas, Randy's Amigo, Gremlock, Katie Mermaid and the delinquent duo. Nauman. Nicole. Victor Schauberger reincarnated as White Mountain Hillbilly glitter cupcake. Max Danger's, Security Chief Shatsy, The Anxious Peach, Team Michelle and Billy, Nea Nix Reno, Frankenator, Nordlbash, Jordan, Arwen X. Belasco, Ryan Rosinski, average height, medium rage.

Audio Monkey, Joe, Team Hafeovesen, Monica and Mason K. In the Mysterious AZHQ, I'll grant you that we have a multiplicity of mics, a jumble of James is a trifecta of Tonys, one of whom still wants to be Laif, but sadly, no Bethanies. Rowan, Lady of the Black and Herald of the Stars. Arienne can't manage normal. Ryan Burnett, the joyful nihilist, Dr. Dr. B., Zoprez and the Bumble army, growing into my farm boots. Super Beth becomes an RN alongside my bootst up friend.

Geneva Boss, brothers of the cosign, uncivil gnomes, the Rat Queen Evelyn, Great Lunch Conversation! The other Scott, Letty Lou. He was a shifty one that Nick Howard. Kinger was here, Bubber Ray Winland Jr. Bibop Bidabadduwap, Warped Echoes, Slabs McTurbs, Morae Jeremiah Franco, Justin the Nick of Time, Gothic Rainbow, So He Made It, Cody McClure, McCadley, Eternal Companion, Jingaloss, Eris, Goddess of Nobody, Has Matilda, Ditsy Bay, Just Your Average, Kyle Church, I Am a Laif on the Wind, Static Ego, Some Fucking Swamp Wizard, Lolly, Evan M. Dobson, Dave B, Nabi, your friendly neighborhood pathologist, going to be lit, I am a

Shaggy, Captain Emerald L, Wayne Hall, Danny Mars, externally screaming, but Bethany, I made biscuits, Skibeau and Fuzzle McMurpr Nets, Neelix Tiny Wolf, Asher the Raven, Christina Senna Sennett is teleporting, BRB. Where the Shane's at? Definitely not an Android. Seriously, I'm not. The Wandering Welshman, Whatever Tabby, Carolyn Harper, Nikolai Tolkachev, Capo the Sartorius, Z3DT, Shy Sparrows, BLTN, the Kiwi Dukling, Dana Dana-Dna Fifei Fofana, Dad and Aubrey the dirt bike demons. Tequila mockingbird. Snuffle up a goose.

Dammer in the space goblin. I so pale. Oh no. A bee! I am Zoltan. Hear me roar. Pocket Ghost Max. Mags the Conqueror. Wes and Heather wonder if Derek Adair will join. My cat's name is... Beef. Eric. Katie Kate. Get your colonoscopy. Victor Casados. Emily Schmemley. Work from Elvis. Bo-ho-go. Bye-bye for Jojo Pogo. That's a no-go, bro. Cody Monster. Collided Mind. Miss Nixie. Baby Baiton Lee. Charlie Roodle. Kyle Perino, A.K., Sid the Sloth on a bike. Priya Gandhi. The Wandering Mermaid would like you to know that the little mermaid and the creature from the Black Lagoon are the same exact story. Lil Stevie Pie, Green Mountain Hermit, Deaf Alargette Toe, Two Polar Cat, Carl, The Teller of Dad Jokes,

Skylabs Multimensional Multifacic Quantum Cyberverse, Verde Sol, Galen Miller, Tess, Geriatric Youngen, Mystic Hippie, Unforcible, Local Marshag, Daniel Nitz, Mavis Bacon's, Pyro's Calling, Joe Swayin, The Waysolation, The Wizard's supercalifragilistic expialadocious, and introducing Risi Pontiff as the 24th Doctor. Too many jans! Catjot, Pamela Rose El Chiera, then Stina says, thud tweed, enigmatic catbird, Countess of Carbon, Slappy the Squirrel's Ted Slapping Rampage, Luminous Elk, Rodeon caution, love us for the nirds, Taz Hernandez, Captain Crash on the surviving crew, Casper needs all the hugs, but Joe needs an O2 tank. Quote says, Joe is the writer's room.

Awkward Heretic, Devin-7777, Troy Aker, Mandy Kane, Northerly Kay, Lost Basin, You know, the Moon Prison outside the Triad, Kim Sel, Silly Goose, Hong, Honk, Ad Matha, Astro Unit, Ghostsaberwolf, The Sleby Mystic, Sarah Joy, Taters, Precious, It's Just Steve, Sweets Martinez, Sharnoble 610, Mere Tender Creatures, Amanda Short, Chut, Brimble, Dydra, Mike Whiskey and Your Friend Frosty, No Saguero, Beinbar, Beasley Death, Sven the unlikely, cognito-hazardic sponged, Ted Wasinossan, Vyrestria, Theosis the Theologianish, Nicole, I love you, but I will name Kid 2, Brathar, Fernwood Gal, Nelly G, Twinkle Tots, Gemini's Sky, Phantoms Mom, Callison, Hornswagland Daniel Arthur, Mike Lucluse, It's a fucking dog rapture,

Abigail Lehu, King Humble, We'd Better Ask Dave, Windchimes for Safety, Cameron Winterborn Welsh, Fireball XL-F, Mackenzie Duna, Alexica Habanera, Code Strain, One bette bet. Hu ha ha ha ha. Matt N. Alfie Raven Eurum. Monad Nick sees you seeing me, seeing you seeing me. Frelp.

M. Lin. Feed me fish. J.R. R. on SFP. LaHari. Jay Spark. Lucid Harbor. Little Mira leopard paws. Die at night.

Mars royalty. Take 20 damage. Macy's bandstand. Kim Bob. Battle Popin Bugaboo. Snorts. Magorts. Fresh squeezed.

Patrick Holt. Atlas B. Hold it now. Hold it now. Hit it now. Had it, head it, hot it, hud it. Bradley Ashby, Peter, Megan Okio, William Dyer, Vicky Abear, Brad Maneer, Jane, Hannah Dale, Phantom Zone, Crystal Delightful, Gruntled,

Killshot Betty and her steel-eyed bow, turtles all the way down, Jackie Lowy, the Little Pigeon, Lily the Planetary Brain, crazed bear. Coming this holiday season, Dr. Ladda's Trash Angel Action Figures, restocked, boot scoot to your local toy shack today. Crafty Lizard quilts and knits and crochets, Noble Barrel. Yes, my brain is weird. Thank you. Bethany Boppity Boom. Megan the Meg Young, Corey Morose, Russell Bunny, Max Savage, Jenny Rinn, Jason Road, apprehensive Craig, Tim Araneta, Bacon, Nicole Studios, Rambo, Chaos Squatcher, That Homeless who saw the diner disappear from Rogers and gave

up booze. Mary Kirby, Stephanie Sturgis, Kirsten, Hurry Up and Wait, Sarah Farmer, and Belladonna first of her name. Criddle, Twilio, Heidelberti, Tom Webster, Roshme Thinketash, McClump, Zana the Leathersmith, Salazar the Do Mage, the Bard with the Tubah, Hayward's finest Garin Elizondo. To my little, you'll always be my good girl. You took a piece of my heart and left a paw print on my soul, till we meet again. Sir Schitt's a lot strikes again, damn animal. Ashton James, Elspeth, Skyland, ALR, Sidewalk Jam, Tonka 2005, Cruzenby Anthony.

Trick says whir? Tibbled the first, Stephen Schmidt, Xavier Romo, Alley Frog, Tray the Turquoise Tortus, Frea Titmitten's, Courtney the Frogologist, Corey and Stephanie say hello. The Fon Tucky Wrangler, Scram Brulet, Yay, Aaron, The Singing Loon, Zuzana, Celeste Yose, I'm So Antigney Fonty Fun. I'm Ava's evil twin sister Bethany, Katie and Noah, Hendrix the Stink, The Ambergler, Boodles, Osvaldo Simeone, Shavon Delilah Rose, Ashley Chapel Peoples, Ryan Ortega, Barbarian Bloodbath, The Defenestration of Teds, Corrine Sabrantha, Shadowdady, Rubius Fuzzlebutt, K. Mack, the something-something-something detective agency, Hyabuda, Eli the Electrition,

Suna, Sunny Dianomily, Char May, K, On With Karma, Amanda Knock, the Wondrous Mathasophon, post-Turtle evaluation squad, hashtag Nissan Accura, Finnegan Robert, Jesse Foster, Samira, Flat Doug, Deary Darling, Ambient Drifting Man 80, Chris Hancock, Nicole 23, Gracefully Impaired, Tired Pirate Muffin, Steve King, Laura, Roman Ronan, John Pruitt, Camel Pope, Inshuligum, Cryptest Bessia, Rebecca Trossel. See, when I said, good God, there are so many names, the names weren't their own show yet. Chris from Tacoma, the real fairy godmother, the biggest Mamma-jamma boot-kicking the booty of the Teds. Mitzie Lou, Kelsey Home. Still Casper's number one fan, but now armed with a quantum spatula and ready to duel every Bethany in the multiverse with breakfast

wisdom. Amanda Marie Catherine, Damien the goddamn time lawyer, Matt Mosby, St. Foo, Harry Fishnuts, Joshua Cody, Estranoe, Magno's the Civil Nome. Welcome, everybody. I'm Hydelon, and I'll be leading our Midnight Burger Emotional support group. David Piorini, Techno Ranger Rick, Joe's Weaslaf, Virgo Ares Infinity, Best Budds Danny and M, Charles Q Choi, a bug named Nat, Cicry, Hunter B, Rudra, Death the Kid, Big Whiskey, All Cockinator, Ron was here, Magic Pony, Robert Oliveri, Off and Wrong Dan, Jess Gioia, Paul A Johnson, Killer Odd, Dr. Punkusher Esquire is rooting for you. Please root for punt, too, he has an interview. Creator 67, Bajolanth, Life's One True Love, Mermaid of the Dark Seas, Cosmic Shrug, Incorrigible Ross, Deborah Wales, SCRB Mark 11, Eric A. Rayborn, Maggie's Yarm, Stu, Entenomily, Megan Mighty, Haunt, Purple Saline, Three Legs are Perfectly Good, Drew and Lelae, Anomalous Death to PSL Vandal, The Ice Queen, Captain BLEP, Evie Power, Terry, PJs says what? Amelia Lucero, at all, Fear Now doesn't polish the shiny melon, Blargo, Blargo, the Jazzman,

Tonight at 11. Lorak the Barbarianess. Hicks Bezzy Mates. Zellis Pragma. Tuba Rick. It's Just Blake. Alice Malice. Disco Barbie Edition.

Kelly Jane Danky. Aaron the Optimus. Thomas Stolen, aka Casper from another universe. Chadney Ashra, Lucrezia, Hornus. Tamara Oliver, The Real Dirt Fairy.

Marissa. Eva. No, not that, Ava. The one with an... Grim. Says, Trans rights, y'all.

Zackinat. Underwater Corvids, Bissorinkdom, Snakes and Bakes, Michael Christian, Ransom, Rune Maes-Ail, Grawlix and Terabang, late indeed again. Theron Pyrrales, Ome-Vegha. Don't mind dances with frozen burritos hiding in the deep freeze till the Bethany's in their war. Aaron Mitchell, Lady Kionu Meissen, Onixen, J.R. the Hikerber, Velocate, Alcabe, Al-Cave, Krusty McBeardface, Marrae,

Marlon, Cora, Call Mezzan, Coliebvre, Rogue, Lisa Geisler. Den Frue de Pirate, Fredsburger. What the Chuck? Sono Nusuno, Ben and Jessica, Todd Van Vauris, Nea DeRuso, Pici Zatoucci, Inki the Crackin, Azula the Brave, and their ever-faithful Squire Grab Thar, Gen Extranius, Trinkett Coralie, Dancing Dog Dreams, and Existually, An Exhaustically Exhausted Bean. Okay, so before we get started, someone asked if we could, if we could deliver a birthday message to them, and it's not the kind of podcast where you can really do that because it is fictional. However, I said, listen, why don't I, what do we do the birthday message? I'll put it in the looper section at the very end of the episode, right? So this is a message. Happy birthday, Jenny from your kid, Folk, who wants to ask if they can get Dairy Queen after this. Happy Blizzards! Happy birthday, Jenny. I'm here with Rebecca and Alan and Finley, and we all

wish Jenny a very happy birthday. Go to Dairy Queen. Happy birthday, Jenny, and enjoy the ice cream. Happy birthday, can we do this? Can we, can we do that? Can we have the vibe of this being like we're gossiping and we're catching up. Like you're talking like, can you do it like it's an episode of real housewives or whatever? I don't know what you're talking about. I have been having babies. Gross. Our second arrived.

Nope. It's hard to laugh and be Danish. Right. Okay. I do know. Swedish can go both ways. Oh, those sweets, eh. Am I right, everybody?

Why do we not tell people about this? Nope, that was American, weirdly. Never mind. They all looked at me as if I were a... Ooh, I went Welsh again. Great. Okay. Is Yep still dressed as a court jester while he's doing the machine? Yeah, he's dressed as a court jester and just, like, cranking on the...

Amazing. But with his fancy pantaloons. Of course. though. Pratnit take me, Gert. Nope. Prat not teche me, Kirt.

Al-zikim simple a pack is, honey. No, that was great. I was laughing because it was funny. Prat-ne-teche-me, heret. Al-zik in simple a pack-ezel, so I met your mother. Fuck you. Not you the Netherlands.

I love you the most. Prat-ne-teche-me-heert. I'm in simple a pack, Esel, Vilder, so I met your Mulderchan Prattin. That's great. That was awesome. Oh, my God, I'm sweating. Ooh, would you get me some Stroopel waffles?

Is that how you say it? I have no idea. It's actually strope. Strope waffles. Strope waffles. Strope waffles. Let's go. But that was hilarious.

Struple waffles. Thank you. Strop waffles. People being like, hold on, I've got gas. Audiobook narrators are disgusting. And the mic catches everything. Because I am one. It's a little bit, and again, honey, please correct me if I'm wrong.

But there's a little bit of a dick-waving contest here. And Tico's like slapping you with it. And you're like, just look at it. I don't have to swing it around. You're welcome, bloopers. The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish.