Midnight Burger - Chapter 49: The Signal

Episode Date: February 10, 2026

“Change all you wish, my hand will still hold yours.”CastLibuza - Shelly DarringtonZebulon - Neal StarbirdEffie - Julie Cowden-StarbirdDavid - Quintin Jones Jr.Kazi - Jessica MorrisCass - Scottie CaldwellVodnik - Graham RowatAva - Finlay StevensonWritten by Joe FisherDirected and Produced by Joe Fisher and Finlay StevensonEpisode Art by JuicheeMusic:Siegfried, WWV 86C - Funeral March, Finale (band arr.), Wagner - United States Marine BandON A SLOW TRAIN THRU ARKANSAW - AL BERNARDSavedTHE TIME WILL COME - VERNON DALHART & COTenebrae factae sunt (The Shadows Fall) - Choir of Monsignor RellaAbide With Me - Amelita Galli-CurciWhen You and I Were Seventeen - John McCormackRead and search Scripts with PodScripts: https://podscripts.app/For more information on our show, visit our website: https://www.weopenatsix.comSubscribe for early access, ad free episodes, additional content and more!Subscribe on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/midnightburgerSubscribe on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midnight-burger/id1537653218How about some merch? https://www.midnightburgermerch.comFind and support our sponsors at: fableandfolly.com/partnersSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Previously on Midnight Burger. Pardon me, Gloria. Might my husband and I have a word? The radio is talking to me. You know, I seem to recall you speaking quite often on the evils of alcohol. You have, it's true. But then again, I am not Effie Mucklewayne. Now am I.

So, I imagine I'm allowed to lay the tracks of this train while I'm driving it. Are you still a Christian? Oh, yes, absolutely. No matter how odd the life of the mucklewains becomes, I can still feel him out there in the darkness, Hava, in all things. Clementine, I have come to think of it as dependent of the one who once shouted its existence in... I must say, dear, after all this time, the things we've seen, I feel as though they are all ours in a way.

All my talk of back home and longing for the farm. But in truth, we are home. These wide expanses full of so much wonder, are we not as at home here floating through it all as we've ever been back in Arkansas? I suppose we are, husbands. How about that? Born on a farm and now riding atop the back of a ship that sails through the stars.

It's a good life. Yes, dear, it is. Thank you, Lord, for this life. Let's start the shift. Once upon a time, there was a signal. Speeding through the vastness of the stars, with the speed of a beam of light, it flew from star to planet to moon to the blackness beyond. The signal was nothing, merely a pattern, arranged information.

And yet, it was lonely. Though I am nothing I want. Though I am invisible, I wish to be seen. And with that utterance, everything changed. One signal was now two. coalescing frequencies combining at intersections and radiating outward. The signals could create harmonies, complexity. They could sing.

The song became skin. The skin became flesh. Flesh and bone and spirit and speech. The signal became two minds, standing on the earth, seeing each other for the the first time, seeing itself through each other. One would become a boy, peering over the tips of tall grasses, watching her approach. The other would be a girl, sunspots across her cheeks, a doll in her hand, knowing she was being watched and wondering why. They then stood together, hand in hand, surrounded by family and friends, smiles and crying children,

and holy words as the sun set. They then stood in an empty house, creaking floorboards and history. Then the house was full of books and tables and chairs, old pots and pans, animals rooting through the dirt outside. And then there was a man. A man they'd never seen before. At first glance, easily forgotten. But he distinguished himself through his loneliness. They understood loneliness.

It was how they came to be. They would sit with the man. Speak with him. Tell him stories. But his solitude was difficult. to dispel. Then another arrived and became his friend. Then another and another. And then all of them together, they would see many things, go to many places, learn more and more about the people they had become. It was more than they had begun. They came from Nothing. Once a collection of waves and information, and now this. Two souls in love. They began as nothing. They knew one day they would return to nothing. But for now, they would be this.

And they will call it a life. That was the shadows fall by the choir of Monce. Signorrella. Here's hoping these delicate tones can soothe your rattled nerves as we careen through the starways. Funny to think of myself as piloting a ship through the stars like this, a simple man like me. You see, as a boy, I grew up far from any ocean, and the thought of me navigating the waves seemed a far-off notion. It's a rive there, much less gliding across the night sky as we are now. Yes, I've been out of my element for as long as I can remember. But worry not, my fearful passengers.

I've taken to this starry sea as if I were born in the life. Not much to it, really. I point myself in the right direction and off we go! Now, I can play all the music I see fit, but I don't imagine any of that will do much good to calm your disposition so much as the truth would. So let us be honest about our predicament. You are our prisoners. There's no other way of saying it. You have wisely laid down your arms and offered surrender, and you should be commended for it.

You shall be treated no less human than any other. There will be more to say on this as we approach our destination. For now, take comfort in the fact that you have chosen the way of peace. I'm Zebulon Mucklewain, here with my wife Effie. Hi, y'all. I'll take it from here, husband. Very good, dear. Now then, let's wring some of the dirt out of the dishcloth, y'all.

you've come to find yourself aboard the SS Return to Sender. We ain't no warship in case you're wondering. We are a mobile hospital, transport, and search and rescue outfit. We heal the sick and find the lost, and that's it. And from time to time, we find ourselves transporting prisoners such as yourselves. Some may see this as a distortion of our benevolent mission, but let me emphasize the following notion. Y'all have, quite recently, aligned yourself with the legions of evil.

And if that don't make you lost and sick, well, I don't know what does. So make yourselves comfortable. We've got hills and valleys to cross. Oh, and one last thing, in case any of y'all got aspirations towards stirring up a mutiny, keep in mind, but I got two fists on this here iron body. Don't make me put your names on either of them. Much had changed since the simple days of creaking boards in an empty house. It seemed as though the more people they brought into their house and into their lives,

the more complicated things became. Kennedy, Allison Farner, how are you doing? Karaoke in the mess hall tonight? Are you going to be there? Come on now, I want to see that share impression I've been hearing about. Attention all ships. Earth 619 is free. Now that's what I'm talking about.

Now karaoke is mandatory, y'all. I will be doing prints. It will be from the dirty mind era. Prepare yourselves. Let freedom ring, everybody. David, you're late. I was busy celebrating our victory. There'll be plenty of time for that later.

The spirit move me. Can the spirit move you to your station, please? Yes, man. Hey there. Hi. You're new? I am. David, this is Major Cass Williams.

She's our newest recruit. Hmm. Welcome. Thanks. Where are you from? Uh, earth? Most of us are from Earth, Cass. Right.

Uh, I guess you guys are calling it Earth 2012. Ooh, 2012. Been there. How you holding up? How am I holding up? About two months ago. I learned that I was a pawn in a galactic war and that my entire life was a lie.

So. So pretty good. Sure. How do you end up here? They drafted everyone in the astronaut program to serve on these things. They're called Vesnas. We steal them from the bad guys after we run them out of town. The bad guys.

They were a little light on that information. Who are the bad guys? For a while, we just called them the mystery men. Turns out they're called the primis lid. Primis lid. Okay. When do they show up? In a certain sense, any minute now.

David, if you could pause your charm offensive, please. We're about to execute the maneuver. Yes, ma'am. What's the maneuver? We're all going to stand up and do the electric slide. What? David. Are we not?

Major. Every time we liberate a planet, the enemy retaliates in the form of a massive cascade of energy from their homeworld. We've been losing a lot of ships. I think we found a way of combating it, but it's going to require some nimble piloting. Don't worry, the nimble piloting isn't us. It's those guys up front. Those guys up front are aliens. Indeed.

And she is too, Kazi? Correct. Okay. You could try clicking your heels. together three times, maybe you'll go back to Kansas. I already tried that. Here we go. Okay, incoming attack from Homeworld, two minutes out. Thank you. Broadcast to the entire fleet. Broadcasting.

Attention all ships. We have an incoming bombardment. You all have your orders. Position all ships at the mouth of the warp tunnel. Warp tunnel. Up on the screen. See it? Jesus Christ. It's how all these ships get around. All ships? Prepare to dive. Are we about to get killed, Dave? Are we about to get killed, Dave? David? Not if you do your job, right? David. Kidding.

When I give the order, we're all going to dive into that warp tunnel to avoid the energy wave. Why don't we just do that right now? If we do it right when the energy wave arrives, he may be convinced that he's destroyed us. Who's he? Hasey's dad. What? Eyes on your screen, Major. Yes, ma'am.

Fifteen seconds. Everyone hold? All ships dive. Here goes nothing. There's our misguided souls, dear. They are scared right out of their socks. I tell you. Not hard to imagine.

Husband, I am beat. Have yourself a sit-down, dear. We're nearly at our destination. Don't mind if I do. Charging. Oh, yes. That'll do just fine. Sure could have used that iron body of yours

when we put the new roof on the barn. Oh, there is a whole host of things I could have done better in life that I have been made so metallically, dear. Yes. Seems. A thousand miles away these days. And then some.

It's to our benefit that that old farm holds up all right when it's neglected. But the weeds. Oh, the weeds. We've got a week or two of weed pulling upon our return. That is true. Our return will be bittersweet. Yes, though. There is a distinct possibility that I may miss your company, dear.

But I'm right. here. And your voice is ever so soothing, husband. Seems I've grown accustomed to your physical self being sat right next to me. Well, I'm blushing. You shut your mouth. Our friends appear to have arrived. About time. Looking a bit more haggard than normal, I see. Oh, yes. They have taken their lumps. Hey there y'all. It's the mucklewains. We got a fresh batch of the misguided. Come back. Welcome back, you two. Well, hello there, Laboosa. Y'all look like you got put through a wash or two. We have. I'm afraid we have a problem. Shall we dock with the flagship, Laboosa? That's the problem. We don't have one anymore for reasons they may never know. The signal that had been

become to had settled into a simple life, one of farms and sunsets, little rivers through lowlands and old vehicles with sputtering engines. It was a life they imagined for themselves. But as life moved forward, they found that life changing. It was one of danger and strange journeys. It appeared now that this life they imagined was only the beginning. And the longer the road traveled, the more unfamiliar the territory. But how many of us can say we live the life we imagined? Lord, this place gets more ungodly every time I walk into it. This is what it takes, apparently.

Hello, Zebulon. Hello, dear. It's always nice that I can see you. great comfort that. Always such a ghost to everyone else. How's he looking, Laboosa? He hasn't gone and grown a mustache since I last late eyes on him, has he? He's exactly as you left him. Good. Labusa, you've got yourself attached to more nonsense than a marionette. I'm sure it looks ridiculous. It looks painful, dear. It's not. I have to stay connected to the Vestek these days. That's the only way to stay ahead of him. Half the ship's

power goes to this room now. My food and water is intravenous. Well, remind me to make you a chicken fried steak when all this is over and done. Oh, no, that sounds lovely. One for me as well, dear. Labusa, we are in a bit of a crisis, I hear. I'll start with the good news. Cossi and David are alive. Thank you, Lord. What's happened to them, Labusa? We had this problem. Every time we liberated another earth. Croc would fire an energy bombardment from the home world and try and kill us all. We kept losing ships, so they put a plan together to try and avoid the great big death ray by ducking into a warp tunnel at the last second. And maybe for a while, he'd be convinced that he actually destroyed us. Well, from the looks of things, that didn't go to plan. Actually, it did. We're pretty beat up,

but we only lost one ship. But it was Kazi's ship, the flagship. And the ship where David performs his duties. Well, wherever they are, let's go and get them. I'm afraid it's complicated. The booza, if there's anything we've grown accustomed to, it is complexities. Their ship is disabled, and it has drifted into a nearby nebula, just outside the entrance to a warp tunnel.

Well, let's yoke up a mule. get on out there. That's where the complexities come in. It's a trap. Lovely. Crox forces know her ship is there and they're waiting for someone to come save her. Well, ain't that the coward's way of doing things? If Kazi were here, she would of course tell us not to take the risk. One moment. I don't think she can hear us. Well, that's decided. The decision is one thing. How we do it is another. deliberately mindless. He likes them that way. But from time to time, he'll let a few of them develop their own style and personality. There's someone waiting for us outside that nebula. He calls himself Vodnik. He's taken several of our ships off the board already.

How long do you reckon we have? Not long. Her ship is badly damaged. If we come through that, there are tunnel guns ablaze and we're a cooked goose. We need a vehicle that's small enough to miss. I know a ship that fits that bill. Your ship is a search and rescue ship. It doesn't have weapons. We're searching and rescuing, ain't we? This is a terrible plan.

Laboosa, you are right. It is a terrible plan. And yet. And yet. I think it's the right one. Then it's decided. I'll bridle up the horses. And where is Tida and all this?

Tida is across the galaxy dealing with a particular stubborn planet. She wouldn't get here in time. How's everybody else doing, L'Busa? I don't imagine Luzon Kazi has been a tranquil thought. They are on edge. Hmm. Sounds like everyone needs to set themselves down for her talking to. At least. Zebulon. Yes, of course. Attention, all ships at sea. Zebulon Mucklewain here. Now, I imagine a good lot of us,

feeling a certain way at the moment. Can't imagine how you wouldn't be. Effie and I have just arrived and we are working hard to get the long and short of things. In the meantime, let's not drift too quickly into the realm of imagination. All we know right now is all we know. For the next bit here, throughout the performance of your duties, let us all focus on what is and not what might be. If there's something right in front of you that's broke, do your darndest to fix it. But let's not imagine a great number of things that have been broken before we know what's what. It's a great gift, that imagination of yours. Let's not turn gifts into curses. Thank you. I can't talk much longer. I have to stay focused on Croc. This will have

be the plan. How you get in and out will have to be decided by all of you. Let's get to plan and then. What else can I do? Before we go, I had a notion. A notion. Okay. What is it? Well, I've been steering our heavenly sled all over the skies for a bit of time now, and I've noticed something quite unusual about the particular waters we sail on. It appears that any old push or shove is enough to move even the largest of boats. Yes, it's space. There's no gravity or wind resistance or anything. Yes.

Well, I was thinking, these engines of ours, they make such a ruckus. Perhaps, if we're to be tiptoe in our way into rescuing our compatriots, there's a way to do so more clandestinely. Okay. How? Well, with the air we breathe, of course. The air we breathe? You want to use oxygen as a thruster? Not to get up to any speed, just to move port and starboard.

Well, you need oxygen. You both don't need oxygen to breathe. It's true. In our current state, Effie and myself only need the comfort of each other. Not much else. I see. So you want to, what? Fill up your ship with compressed air?

Is such a thing possible? I don't know. I can talk to the engineering pit, see what they can do. Wonderful. Good luck, you do. Labusa, you take care of yourself. I don't like the pressure that's been put on you. You do your dangerous thing?

I'll do mine. Fair enough. Zebulon, how's our mighty steed looking? She's almost watered and fed. Be ready for a hard ride right soon. Zebulon, I should have wrapped that boy up in a blanket and locked him in his room for the duration. Now look at him. David is his own man, dear.

There's only so much we can do. We made a promise, Zebulon. This is what the world is made of. The walls come down without them. Which is precisely why we will bring him home safe and sound. There is something at the center of all of us. Call it what you like. Beliefs, modicums, tenets, rules.

We see them as part of ourselves. And yet throughout our lives, how often is this unknown center of us, this core of who we are. How often is it tested? How often do we truly need to wrestle with it? So often, all we need to do is believe. The signal had become two.

Then those two became beings, and those beings had a center. A center made of ideas. Right, wrong, mercy, forgiveness, beauty, and ugliness. With every step they took into their new life, the center was tested, and they approached each test without fear. Let me be like the sword in the forge, they would say. With each ring of the hammer, let my substance become stronger.

Hello? Cass What happened? Looks like the fleet made it through with one exception. We're the exception, I'm assuming. Yeah. Are you okay?

I'm all right. How are you doing? I'm conscious. That's all I've got for you. Where is everyone else? They tried to make it for the escape pods. We stayed behind. Okay.

I remember now. Oh, shit! Oh, what's up? I think my leg is broken. Oh, God, damn it. Stay put. Good idea. I'll see if I can find a first aid kit or something.

Okay. Where's Kazi? David. She's here. Is she gone? I'm afraid so. Shit. Then we really are screwed, aren't we?

Okay, we're alive. That's all I can tell you right now. Well, this was short-lived. What was? My adventures in space. And now here I am about to die. Oh, you, you have little faith. Oh, shit.

Is she okay? Kazi? I'm all right. Just don't touch me. Okay. Kazi, you're not looking great. How the hell did you survive that? It's what I do.

What's the status of Major Williams? I'm okay. She's got a broken life. All right. I'm not going to be able to walk for some time, so it's best that the two of you be ambulatory. That would be great. You'll need to move her closer to me. Okay, her legs looking pretty bad. Which bone? Uh, upper one. Femmer? Yes. Clean break? Looks like it. Please stop describing my broken leg. David, I taught you how to set a bone. Do you remember?

Sadly, I do. You'll need to set the bone. And, you'll need to set the bone. And, you're not, drag her over to me. Oh, shit! Okay, so we don't have a robot doctor or something? This will be faster. Shit! Uh, you hear that, Cass? Yes, and I really hate it.

Okay, sorry. Uh, Kazi. Have you got a bottle of tequila around here? I don't. Hard way it is, then. Hello there. My name's David. I'll be your doctor.

Fuck you, doctor. Are you ready? David, are you married? I'm not Okay We're going to have to get married after this Because the How We Met story Is going to be too good to pass up

I'm a gay man But I would marry Abe fucking Vagoda To get out of this mess That's the spirit You want something to bite down on I'm biting down pretty hard on my pride That should do the trick Okay

Here we go Three Two One At a certain point in their travels, the two began to be regarded as antiquated. The lives they had chosen were considered by some to be out of date. Personas that belonged in a time gone by. Some saw them as simple or even naive.

They worshipped old gods and made lifelong promises to each other when they were hardly past childhood. In the worlds they often found themselves in, people saw such things as foolish or childish. They paid no mind to any of it. So many ideas fall in and out of favor as the ages rise and fall. Through all of it, there was something within them that kept them hewn to their promises. Despite the complexities of infinite worlds, There was something within them that found comfort in a simple thing. And how hard that simple thing can be.

An idea as simple as taking someone by the hand and saying unto them, change all you wish, my hand will still hold yours. You know, dear, traveling through these tunnels reminds me a bit of Jasper Weymouth. Jasper Weymouth? Yes. Jasper Weymouth was a bootlegger, dear. Yes, he was. No one knows the back roads like a bootlegger.

Yes. I don't believe he'd ever taken a state road in his life that one. I recall he claimed that he'd found the fastest route from Fort Smith to Branson. Oh, yes, I remember. What was that he called folks after he tippled a bottle or two? Boone companion. Yeah, that's... the one. My boon companions, he would say. I have unearthed the golden road

twigs to Harkinson, Missouri, nary a constable upon it. Only man I knew whose speech got sharper as the bottle got lower. A surprising passion for shortcuts, that, Jasper? Anyone ever suss out if he was speaking the truth or not? Yes. Turns out it wasn't a shortcut at all. But rather, He found himself in Eureka Springs and only thought he was in Missouri. He thought Eureka Springs was in Missouri. Didn't even know he was in Eureka Springs.

Debulon, there is a big old sign outside of that town saying, Welcome to Eureka Springs. And if you take the back roads, as Jasper does, you miss the sign entirely. You do. An argument for taking the road well traveled. Jasper set himself down a good 20 miles from the border and said to himself, Here I am, Missouri.

He was only 20 miles away in his defense. Oh, Lord. Our people. We have a special bunch. We're out here in the Great Beyond, and it made you think of Jasper Weymouth. Funny that. I bet old Jasper would have found another path for us in our current predicament. Sometimes there ain't no shortcuts, dear.

Speaking on that, we're coming up on it. All right. Now, what was this idea, Yorne? Well, first off, tamp down the noise of these engines. We're going to need those for flying this contraption, dear. Labusa has done us a service and given us a surplus of good old-fashioned breathing air. I'll use that to move us hither and yawn from here on out. Like Odysseus on the sea, I shall loose the strings on my gunny and unleash the western winds.

You're getting dangerously close to me calling you a windbag, dear. Away we go. Where are we meant to look? Leboozza told me they would be there in that great red cloud. They drifted into that mess, and we're approaching it now. Of course, if there were to be an attack, it would happen right about now. Secure yourself to your seat, dear. I shall.

Almost there. Oh, hell. Trout confirmed, dear. I noticed. Just a few more moments. If we've got them to spare. Here. And about as blind as your grandma.

We'll hide here and figure out our next move. Whoever this miscreant is, at least he's doing what we expect him to. Welcome all to my little corner of the galaxy. My name is Vodnick and I shall be your executioner today. How shall we do it? Slowly or quickly. They both have their merits. We appear to have met our adversary.

Do you know what I love about this little trap of mine? It's nothing new. You leave an injured one crying for help while the others are lured in by their screaming. It's a trap that doesn't disguise itself. It plainly says to you, I am a trap. And yet it lures them in regardless. No deception on its face. But it is deceptive in other ways.

Every trap has its bait to lure you in, but believe it or not, my new friends, the bait of this trap is not your imperiled friends. The bait is hope. You see the trap plainly, but it's hope that draws you in. You hope against hope that you'll be the one to outsmart the trap. So, I ask again, what shall it be? Slowly or quickly?

And he appears to be a talker. Why hide in the nebula, my friends? Come out. Come out and see me. I'd express my frustration, but we knew what we were getting into when we shoved off. Effie? Well, if it ain't our damsel in distress. What the fuck are you doing here? Now, now, Cazie, don't overwhelm us with gratitude.

You've flown right into a trap. Cazzie, do I look like a tree stump to you? We're quite aware of what we have flown into. Then you should have stayed with the fleet. Well, I'm going to have to draft that apology to you a bit later on, Kasi. For the time being, we're trying to figure out how we all get your butts out of the mud you're stuck in. What's your status? We have life support, but that's about it.

And David? I'm just peachy. Thanks. Most of them made it to the escape pots. I imagine they've all been captured now. It's just myself, David, and Major Williams. Cass, say hello to the mucklewains. The who? Sit tight.

We'll track you. down in all this mess. You've risked yourselves for three people, Effie. And? My new friends, I have within me one act of kindness. I shall, this once, offer you surrender. Give yourselves up to me now, and there will be no need for any more gains. You are, no doubt, floating around in that nebula, wondering what to do next.

Signal your surrender and emerge from the nebula, and I promise you'll not be harmed. Now, why do I think he may be lying to us? I'll not put it past him. And not to add to your grocery list, but I find him so intolerable that I feel the need to defeat him entirely. Would be a nice cap to put on the day. I have my eyes on Kazi's ship, such as it is. Let's have a look. Ho-wee, Kazi, your ship's looking like a grouse after Thanksgiving.

I don't know what that means, Zeffi. Very little meat on the bone. Zebulon, our docking port isn't responding. There's no way to get us off the ship. That sounds like a failure of the imagination, Kazi. I suppose you could try and activate it from the outside of the ship. All right then. But if Vodnik sends another bombardment, you could get flung out into space.

Zebulon, I don't imagine our adversary will talk and shoot at the same time, do you? Perhaps, we'll... Have a bit of a chat. Oh, that sounds like a hoot, dear. I'm going to go get myself a little fresh air. Good for the Constitution. Amen. Well, here we are again, Lord.

Just you and I. I'm about to fling myself into the darkness, all for your glory. I'm thinking of myself right now, Lord, about all your disciples and what you've asked of them. And not to admire the shine on my own shoes, but I must be rising in the ranks right quick. Any word of thanks, Lord?

Pat on the shoulder for your servant? Why start now? Every once in a while, she would look back. In moments like these, hurtling through the empty void between two ships, she would think about what she's become. Before this, she was a married woman on a farm. Before that, a little girl in a field.

Before that, a signal. Before that, nothing. I once was nothing. One day, I will return to nothing. But for now, I will be this. A steel frame sailing through the darkness, trying to keep the spark of life from being experienced. It's still pretty painful, but I can walk.

What did you give me? Nanites. I'm sorry? Microscopic robots. They're sewing your femur back together as we speak. They're inside me? Yes. I don't know how to feel about that.

Consider the alternative. What's Effie up to exactly? Effie has made the elegant choice to fling herself at the ship. Wonder if that's her. What is she doing? Making a mistake. Kazi? Where's the back door on this thing?

Look for flashing lights. David, go up to the docking port and turn on the landing lights, please. All right, I'm on it. Move! Quickly! If we take another bombardment, she'll be thrown from the hull. Don't worry too much about that, Kazi. Zebulon's going to try talking him to death.

Of course. So, we've chosen the waiting game, have we? Oh, well, it's an uninteresting game, but one that's rarely avoided. Not a bad ingredient. Add to the mix, I suppose. You'll stew there in your anxiety for a while until you frantically do something foolish. And then there I'll be...

I realize we just met. But may I make an observation? Careful now. The more you communicate with me, the more I'll be able to triangulate your position. I'd say that's a small price to pay for getting to know someone. And now that I think on it,

Isn't that always the way with our interactions? The more you speak to one, the closer they get to you. Seems natural to me. Who am I speaking with? Forgive me. In these unconventional environs, I've forgotten to begin our conversation conventionally. I'm Zebulon Mucklewain, pleased to make your acquaintance. Ah, the pastor, I've heard about you.

Well, my goodness, I don't believe I've ever been in a situation where my reputation has preceded me. I find that hard to believe. I hear you disabled an entire Vesna from the inside out. You're rumored to have magical powers. I don't know much about that. Rumors tend to have magical powers all their own, don't they? I knew a man once named Fritz William Weaver had to develop. for himself a reputation for being able to speak to catfish. Now, all he was really doing was saying a particular word anytime he tossed breadcrumbs into the river,

and after a while, fish learned to respond to that word. But once that rumor meal got started, it seemed as though Fritz William Weaver was sitting there on the edge of the riverbank having long drawn-out conversations with catfish about the news of the day. I'm afraid all that modesty won't dissuade me. Pastor. I had no idea I'd ensnared such a catch. Well, now I'm certainly no expert on the way things work way out here in the nothingness. But I don't think one should brag about catching a thing before that thing has been caught.

So you're still holding out hope in there, are you? I'm afraid hopefulness is another thing I have a reputation for. Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord. Is that what you'd say? Well, look at that. Words of scripture all the way out here. Never thought I'd hear it. It's important to know your enemy.

My friend, if you've read through that entire book, and yet still you wait out there to ensnare us in this deadly trap of yours, it doesn't seem to me that you've come to know a darn thing. What do you say we end this now, Pastor? You know you've no way out. The thing that's curious to me is you seem to be putting all of this in my backyard. Surely, if you've the upper hand,

you're the one who could put an end to all these machinations anytime. Yet still I sit here inside this cloud with you out there. If it's to be ended so easily, why not end it? Are you trying to turn my trap into a trap, pastor? Not sure how I could, even if I wanted to. You've seen our vessel, we carry no weapons. You're quite the lazy hunter if you expect the stag to trot right up to your doorstep.

Surely you'll need to put a little effort in. I see. So, what is it then? You've laced the nebula with magnetic charges, waiting for me to wade in and destroy myself? I suppose someone more shrewd than I could do something like that. But as I understand it, there, aboard your ship, you have many of our people as your prisoners. If I were to attack you, surely I attack them. Perhaps you see them as expendable.

Could be. But we've just risked life and limb coming here to save the precious few that you haven't captured. Does that sound like someone who sees human life as expendable? Branded of things, I could just be stolen for time. I dare you to do a thing you wouldn't possibly do in the hopes that you'll wait and wait long enough for us to marshal our forces and send them through to defeat you. Could be that as well. You're trying to convince me that I'm damned either way.

You know, my friend, I must admit, I've never been capable of deception. Perhaps I merely feel that the only way to truly know a man is to be on a level playing field with him. Eye to eye, cross the table. Come on in and see me. Why don't you? I'm so curious to hear about your journey through the scripture. Set course for the nebula. Let's get to know our new friend. Okay, okay, I can walk.

Good. We'll be on the move soon. If you don't mind me asking, how are you alive, ma'am? Several reasons. My race are bioengineers who make several changes to their body in order to survive our planet. It makes me rather hard to kill. Well, whatever you did to yourself, you did a great job. Thank you.

You're doing well yourself. So far, all I've done is get my life. broken. You haven't lost your head. That's important. Yeah. This is not the space NASA sold to me. I'm sure you were told many stories about the wonder of exploration when you signed up to be an astronaut. I'm sure they were beautiful and benevolent stories. But I'm afraid it's not quite like that out here. I'm afraid you've stepped into a bit of a mess. Yes. I have picked up on the mess part of it.

I'm sure. Especially the part about you being at war with your dad. Yes. Which is really the definition of messy. It's not ideal. Sadly, you don't get to pick who you're at war with. I am on the side of the good guys, right? I suppose I should have asked this earlier?

We're the good guys, Major. This entire galaxy has been enslaved. We'll go planet to planet, freeing them or die in the process. Okay, I can get behind that. I'm sure I'll get used to all of this somehow. Let's see what happens when the robot shows up. Excuse me. Howdy-do, soldiers of the righteous? How goes the war?

Jesus Christ! Cousie, you look. better? Thank you. You're looking like that Looney Tunes duck that just got hit with a steamroller. A reference I understand would be appreciated, Effie. Hey, we need to move it. Apparently, Zebulon has invited the enemy ship into the nebula and they are looking for us. Why did he do that? It's all part of his plan. What is his plan? I'm sure I don't know. I'm still not ambulatory. Then, my lady, I shall carry thee to thine bed sit. This is miserable. Up you come.

to move on, y'all. David, why is the robot from the South? I don't know. Why is anybody? Right, my friend, I've accepted your invitation. Let's see how long it takes me to find you in all this red mist. I wish you the best of luck. No, I'm not sure how anyone finds anything in one of these places. As I'm sure you know, I'll be looking for your thruster plumes.

As soon as you use one of your engines, I'm going to see you. I hope you didn't have any plans to escape now that I'm in here with you. Well, now, why would I go through all the trouble of inviting you into these environments and then up and leave? That's no way to treat a new friend. I must say, this is the most cordial battle I've ever participated in. Hardly a battle, my friend. I have no weapons to use against you. Yes, but you do strike me as the creative type, one who thinks he can snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.

At the risk of injuring my modesty, I will admit to emerging from a closet full of knives unscathed from time to time. What's that story of yours? Daniel in the lion's den? Oh, yes, that's a good one. Is that how you plan on getting out of this? You're going to rely on the beneficence of your God? He's given me so much already, this God of mine. Hard to ask him for more. So often we ask for gifts without looking around of what we already have.

Take Daniel, for example. I've always seen him as a man who was very well-versed in how not to look like dinner. It's predator and prey, you see, so. So much of it is how we see ourselves, how we see the other. I'm sure you're seeing yourself as the lion, stalking amongst the tall grass, waiting for someone to make a mistake. What happens to that outlook, do you think, when I just call you my friend? If I'm your idea of a friend, you have some truly terrible friends.

I see all people as my friends. chance and circumstance may separate us, but I will always hope for a day when we all sit down at a great table together as friends. I'd be happy to set a table for you here on my ship. Believe me or don't, but I do hope for that day. Until then, chance and circumstance. Hello? Hello there. Hi.

Kazi told me to come to the bridge. She said you may need some help. Well, that's a wonderful sentiment. I'm Zebulon Mucklewain. I'm Cass. Thanks for the rescue. I'm glad we could reach you in time. Did you reach us in time?

Seems like we're still in a pretty bad situation. Improved greatly by your presence, I'm sure. I guess. I'm not. much of a pilot. I'm a communication specialist. I'm sure that'll be all sorts of help. Have a seat anywhere you like. Tell me whatever you can. Sure. Okay. Uh, it looks like he's shut off his engines. I see. Why would he do something like that? As soon as he cut them off, it reduced the EM background noise. Maybe with his engines off, he can listen a little more closely for us.

Lying in the tall grass, waiting for prey. Sure. Also, if you want to keep talking to him, you're going to have to keep moving. The more you talk, the more he'll be able to triangulate your position. All sound advice, Cass. But if you move, he'll be able to see your engines, just like we could see his. I thought that might be the case. We're making our way through this land of clouds using other means. What is that? Compressed air? It is.

Makes me feel right at home making our way like this. I feel as though I'm steering an old catamaran. Despite the ever-changing world around them, they were often struck by something curious. that no matter the time or place or the swirling complexities of the worlds they would visit there was a thread of something simple in all of it no matter where they would go

there was a sameness to it all some things never changed the most primordial things love and kindness loneliness and community The things most desired seemed intrinsic. Of course, just to be coy, every new world tried to hide its commonalities. But they only saw such attempts as a child, in an ill-fitting costume,

trying with all its heart to act like something other than itself. Here, put this on your arm. Don't bother. The medical stations don't work on me. Why the fuck not? You need a biological preset for them to work. My biology is too chaotic. I'll be fine. I just need more time.

I suppose that's what you get for making yourself such a complicated creature. You're saying this to me as an anachronistic earthling speaking from a robot that you have inexplicably possessed. Well, she's got me on that one, doesn't she? Effie. How does Zebulon plan to get us out of this? I suppose he'll start by asking nicely. And when that predictably doesn't work? You don't know.

Politeness can get you real far if you do it right. You've really come all this way without a plan of any kind? Don't turn up your nose so quick we've gotten this far, haven't we? You were supposed to get this far, Effie. That's how traps work. They should be easy to get into. In a situation such as this when you're walking into a trap, all one can hang their hat on is the incompetence of the trapper

and the wiliness of the trapeat. This guy does not seem incompetent. Never underestimate a smart man's ability to be. as thick as a post, David. Jesus Christ, would you two stop talking in Southern Fortune cookies? David, I have limited you to exactly one blasphemation per day.

I'll remind you. Oh, my God. That's two. You should consider negotiating with him. Offer me as compromise. You can load me into an escape pod, and perhaps he'll let the rest of you go. Seems to me this here, Vodnik, is pretty convinced he can scoop

all of us up in one fell swoop. Why compromise now? I suppose you're right. We may have. have to try and make it hurt. Load ourselves into escape pods, use the ship as a battering ram. And what are the chances that'll work? What are the chances any of this will work?

Ozzie, can you not have a little more faith in me and my husband? Faith is not a strategy. Well, then allow me to transform this conversation from one where I'm asking you something to one where I'm telling you something. You sit yourself there and sew up that body of yorn, and Zebulon and myself will take it from here. Excuse me? What is it, Major? Zebulon needs everyone to put on oxygen masks. What?

Why? He's been propelling the ship using compressed oxygen. If this keeps up, we may run out soon. You're kidding me. All part of the plan, I'm sure. With our conversation, is it time to come out of hiding, Zebulon? Have you got your fancy hat on, cap? My fancy hat.

Sure. I think I have this on, right? If I pass out, I guess we'll know. Very good. We've been skirting pretty close to his ship. Shouldn't we back off a little? No. I think we should get right up close to him. You never check right under your nose,

forest for the trees and all that. Okay. What's that he's doing? He's launching probes into the... The nebula. See there? Right under his nose. All right, my friend.

If it's going to be a while, I'll have more questions about that book of yours. I'm happy to hear them. Your man, Abraham. I know him well. What's all this business about his son? Your God says to him, bring your son up to the altar and sacrifice him in my name. Prove yourself to me. I'm getting that right?

You are. Then, at the altar, Abraham stands there, prepared to sacrifice his own son to this god of yours, and then suddenly your god, what, changes his mind? Says to him, on second thought, Abraham, never mind. What's that about? Confounding, isn't it? In my neck of the woods, that's called psychological torture. And those thoughts are not unheard by no.

There's many a confounding twist in those pages, ones that I wrestle with to this day. I will say this, though. It may surprise you to hear, but despite my genial nature, I can be a bit roguish in my interpretations. You scoundrel! In thinking of the story of Abraham and his son, you may find out. insight when casting your mind way back, all the way back to the beginning. In those dark beginnings of our people, I'm ashamed to say that act such as bringing your child to the altar and sacrificing their life in the name of your God, well, it was almost commonplace. Hard to think of it now.

what do we defend more than our children? And yet, in that primordial time, they were seen as father for a dark and vengeful God. I shudder to think on it. So then, when Abraham is asked by his God to sacrifice his son's life, for Abraham, this was not a new notion. It was not surprising. It was a tragedy, but not surprising. So then when Abraham raised up his knife and God stayed his hand, it was God's way of saying to Abraham, everything was thus. But now it is this. Lay down your trappings of the world before and step forth. into the new one. I told Abraham that.

Yes, my friend, he could have, which is why I wrestle with it so. Oxygen reserves at 10%. Where am I from? Uh, Colorado. That's where they are. Yes. How'd you get so far from home? I, um, I really don't know. My father was a pilot.

I knew how to fly by the time I was 12. When I turned 18, he got me my own single engine. I climbed inside and never went home again. Cherished skill. To know to get out when the kitten's good. What are we talking about right now? My friend, I'm afraid it's time for me to leave you. What?

Leave me that I'm enjoying our conversation so much. And I do hope that one day we can resume them. one day after all this is over. I see. So you've decided to make a break for it, have you? I believe our welcome has been thoroughly worn out. I knew you couldn't hide from me forever. What are you doing? I'd like you to remember what I said.

That all men are my friend. It's only chance and circumstance that keeps me from that friend. As soon as you fire your engines and head for that warp tunnel, I'm going to blow you out of the sky. Yes, circumstances such as that. Well, I must say, after all that, I was hoping for a more complicated plan than just making a run for it. I'm a simple man. Never been much for complicated schemes. Let's let the fates decide, shall we? As you wish. Goodbye, Zebulon. It's been very entertaining. We're exiting the Nebula.

What are you doing? Let's stop with the sneaking about, shall we? Let's hear those noisy engines again. Zebulon. There you are, my friend! I promise to make it quick. Target the ship and fire. Zebulon, he's gonna light us up.

Fire, damn it! We'll fire the engines then. What? Safety lock? How? What's happening? I'm sure I can. don't know. What the hell did you do? What did you do to my ship? T'was always thus, my friend. But now it is this. Let's head for home, y'all. Every once in a while, a look back. In moments like these, in a small vessel in an infinite ocean,

trying to keep the spark of life from being extinguished. Before this, a farmer. Before that, a child. Before that, a signal. Before that, nothing. I once was nothing, and one day I will return to nothing. But for now I will be. this and I will call that a life. Good morning, ma'am. I brought you balloons. Why? Because it's your

first day back? That doesn't answer my question. He thought it would be funny. That answers my question. Major Williams, how have you been? I've been well, ma'am. How has your recuperation been going? I'm at about 70%. Good enough to resume my duties, I think. Welcome back. How have things been? Cass has finally met Tita. Yes. She has horns. Yes. She's an acquired taste, but an essential one.

What else? We've perfected the warp tunnel maneuver. We can now completely dodge energy bombardments from homeworld without losing any ships. Good. What else? What is it? Go ahead. I keep thinking

about that day in the nebula. Yes. We should have died, ma'am. You think? Vodnik's ship. It just... It suddenly stopped working right when we needed it to. Yes. It did.

I... Maybe it's because of the way the Mugglewain's talk, but it felt like a miracle. Hmm. Did it? Yes. Earthlings have an interesting relationship with the unknown. Do we? You see something you can't explain,

and you fill that void with the simplest thing you can find. I don't understand. Once you spend enough time out here, you'll come to understand some things. Things like safety locks. They're on all ships in one form or another. If the environment is too volatile, you won't be able to fire your engines,

or your weapons until the volatility is gone. Vodnik bombarded the nebula before he entered it. He used his engines to enter it. It wasn't a volatile environment. Zebulon did some strange things in that nebula, didn't he? Yes. Flew very close to the enemy ship, always flying rings around it. Yes.

What did he propel the ship with? Oxygen. What color? Was the nebula? Red. Another thing you'll know once you're out here enough, the red nebulae are made of hydrogen. Okay.

Those rockets on your home planet, the ones you use to get to orbit. What are they fueled with? A combination of hydrogen and oxygen. That's right. He was wrapping the enemy ship in volatile rocket. If Odnick had been able to fire his weapons, he would have destroyed himself and everything else for thousands of kilometers.

So shady. Why didn't Zebulon just say that? Yes. There are many things I don't understand about this universe. One of the most confounding things, he and Zebulon Mucklewain. I don't think Zebulon even knew what he was doing. that nebula, or maybe he did. I don't know. What I do know is that we're fighting a war, and I'm glad they're on our side. This is a fucked up assignment, ma'am. Yes, and it will

get stranger from here, but all this strangeness will be nothing compared to the strange thing that follows it. And what's that? Peace. I'll take that strangeness anytime. I as well. Is there anything else? I should get caught up. No. Oh, there is one thing. Yes? It's probably nothing, but the last bombardment from the home world appeared to have a carrier wave on it. A carrier wave? It sounds like noise to me, but I thought I'd let you know it wasn't there in the other bombardments.

Where is it? In your debrief package. I'll take a look. Okay. Welcome back again. Thank you, Major. Kazi. Karaoke in the mess all tonight.

You gonna be there? I'm thinking Joan Jett for you. No, thank you, David. Wait, wait, wait. Al-Lanus! Goodbye, David. That's not a carrier wave. Is this thing on?

Ava. Kazi, listen closely. It's all bullshit. A midnight burger, y'all. Be sure and tune in. time next month for more adventures in the vastness. And if time and tide roil you too harshly, or diurnal courses leave you with no safe havens, just remember we're out there somewhere looking for you.

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Zosifer Dogo of Doom, Burnt Barbecue Beef Briscuit. It's official. They're called Thagronies. Kevin Wynens. Marlin C. Hit me, Tube Sock, Madame Perry, Cherish Hellfire's Hellish Chairfire. Lichen Lady, Cameron Agnesi West, Knox, Lisa Lou, Emmett Hale, the Triads Baddest Goblin, Emory and Lano, James Miles, Brown Coat's Love the Diner, House Chaos and the Critter Cacophony, Max and Nia and Ivan,

seven, nope, it's Mark. Minion Simone, Mimi Davis, Mr. and Mrs. Ronald and Misty Don Mitchell, Guy Tuddle, Wayne Barahona, Jesse the Dragon Rider, We Will Not Rest until Puerto Rico and Palestine are free. Pluto Crow, Nissie's mom, Pocate Splort, Whiskey Rebellion and Gen Retrielle, Slim Nandy, Goth Leif, Jen and Britt, Adriana Bartolomucci, Jonah is gay, the Midnight Ashes, Hornetti, Ballion Fair the Night of Silver Flames, Hood's Pocket Protector, unpaid intern passed the RD exam and got a job. Valky Storm, Patricia Who's always late but somehow on time, DC Squirrel, Kyle the Interstellar High Women, Shelley Act on the Verbalt on verge, Gail Friend, Uncle Denzo and Aunt Buffy had the opportunity to try Miss Chris's sandwiches

and can attest that they are fire. Rubber Cake, Clover the Clown, the Sparky Tech, Prop the Crocogator, ringleader vault, jazz punker, Captain Tightpants and the Companion, Agent Night Breakfast, Braddy for Mission Control, Renee N, Bethany, the Lone Star Edition, Catarina de la Playa, RIPE, Elie's Waffles, the Fluff Rangler, Aki the Space Druid. There are only 176 M. M.B. Fen fiction and one Bethany. Phantom Land T-T-R-P-G-Dice. K-8 the Curiouser, Roxanne, Ash Montgomery, wait, we could have been Bog-Burches? Jason HVak Tech for the diners deep freeze. S.K. Phoenix, Glitch the Gamer-Monger-Montgomery Foxworth, Maryface, Luan Cherry, Peppermint Perl, the Interdimensional Space and Tea Time Witch, Nicole 6-4, Amara Salazar, Banjo Buscolo,

full beans, Gloria's Forgotten Ford Festiva, Brandon Wright, Night Breakfast at the Midnight Children, Force for Good-ish. Mark Scott, Rosie Mum, the Judah, Slater Morales, Intergalactic Frylord, Gravity's optional, but fries aren't. CJ's Big Barbecue Bistro for Bethany's. Angel Vasquez, Evil the Cat, Stephen Raymer, J-Carp Fishman, The Great Goblino, low oxygen, save the mungos, Joji the Birdwatcher, Nye, lilac Morcella.

Rachel Krempa, with special thanks to my best friend Lizzie and my husband, Steve, don't worry about the order, honey. Your Majesty, Temporal Hash Brown, Diane Brown, Dr. Flog wants Tita to return his voicemails. Mags, Captain No Sleep, The Slim Reaper, Ruben Eden, Smedley P. Snoddgrass the Third, but please, call me Smedy, the Shreveport Bohannes, C.C.C.E., the Umbrellae, Soskwach, Lodz Chekhov's Gun, Dinn, Cosmic Catchup, Lack of Lifestyle, August the Shmogest, and Haasfest, Ashley Davis, Mousy, Hoods Pocket, Gere and Sprocket, Local Repair Cafe,

Postmaster General Kwan sent me, Mad Mad Mad Mad Max, Blake Busmagian, Nitwit 14, Royaled way too harshly. DJ Johnny B. Proctors and proctologists both administer tests, but one of them's way more anal about it. Marco Montano, no longer doing a bit. Shiny Fields. Adam Tachachak. Christopher Wendell. Unproductive Banana. Pulcifer the Paulist of Paulism. Zombie Spider-Man. The Sorcerer Senguins says brain demons is an anagram of Brandon is me. Bex 823. Antecrypted. Barry Heap, Gas Mask Penguin. In the Hot Seat. Mime Ninja Mime. Master Ugui has has ascended back to the spirit realm and welcomes anyone to join him in the search for inner peace. Barry, Dillias Dallying, podcast junkie wants Gloria's tamale recipe.

Futile screaming at the ocean. Fox Hatlin, Dylan Caroni, Pedro Vibristo, Slider, Dmitri, Julian Rhodes, Maple Emily, the gayest library janitor in Indiana. The New Kittin's name is Laif and this time he's not a girl. Physic, the Goodbush, definitely not one of the bad bushes funding Rebel Bethany's to overthrow the Julian elected Bethany's hexadecimal Bethany is non-binary. Vapest 10's big black gaping hole. Gubrius, you know like Lou Gubrius but without the Lou. Bruce, Jessica Gagoma, Toracle, Jenny the Bear, GER, Bellringer, Sir Dean Thorne, Treech. Josie Jones, Mr. Fibble is very cross. Hote Potato. Dr. Mojo postulates the end list endlessly splintering off as Bethany and

Bert Bert Bert's caboose until its end lists all the way down. Dave and Buster's server manager You're ready to serve all the Bethany's of Monte Cristo. Blind Time Traveler Convention Date. L.A. Woman, the Phoenix Rising. New name? God. No, not him. Jeff Andrew? Sure. Jeff Andrew. Miss Fluan, a British woman with cute dogs. Cup of noodles. Shmizzy Two Shoes.

Luna Nova. Nicholas Griffith. Matt Grigsby. Justin Smolin. Riku 31. Craig Dundee. The name's Knight with a K. Astral C. Ickle Me Pickle Me Too. Guy with the Chops. Sam. Mitchell Ye. Vagel Knife. In Melda and Scott. Courtney Cochran.

Lily Starling Ryan K Devin 7777 has been my Fave Verbal Stim for months Nate Forklift lifts forks forklift Fawks for Cliff Vince M. Chip, radio free

Relia, violin loves midi, Brian PASley, Subawasca Grinna, Piston Whip, Captain Ducky, Blitz Bell, Laser Saw Of the Shreveport Lasersaws? Our overhead is way too high With all of these names And please make sure to turn in

All Receipts Love Josh From Accounting Satzumah, Siliest Goose, Dr. Jones, Icey Axe Coach Shane of Toad Sucks Central. Go Cranes. Cole Arthur, Lego Cuisant. Cassad!

Norwin Murgler. Chase and her army of turtles joined the Bethany War. The star-set messengers want to know if you've written that four-page essay on why you don't think about bugs. Joe Cuppa. We be chopping broccoli.

Icy fish. The hacker known as Ivy DeBurb. Edwin McDonald, a feisty-ass chickadee. Poultry landmine. The scrappy poet. Jenny the Crypted Paladin. Maverick Artist. Shit.

It was a mimic. Basil in their tea. Waiting to gossip with David. Ainslie, Ye, Ye, Ye, Ye, Ye, Ye, Ye, Ye, E, E. Angnor, ATB, Kiwi-Lovely-Leady, Zoe, Professor Freda. Dr. Professor Reverend Bethany, Wethany, Wuffy McFlovenberger, M.D. H. H.D. SQUIRE. And that's not pretentious at all. Ahem. Is looking for a cure to the Bethany mutation that the Society of Bethany's began the war with so many years ago. Michelle Spurgeon, Jack the Sleepy, Garrett Henderson, Tewot, still trapped, but I've stopped asking why.

The freezer is, I am, we chill. son of Defarge, Wiscoeach, Scott A. Snellgrove, give peas a chance, Samma Ding-Dong, Sarah, that's it, just Sarah. Ricardo Galamba. Kari's crafty cloaking devices, LLC, hashtag we weave'em of Gossamer, Dieringer, Penny the Wonderdog and Bucky Von Buckbuck, Ken Tex-Ori, Cherry Appleby, Medium Rare Extra toasted bun, Tofer Heart the Gay, saucy Caesar, Belt, Aspen is a Verge fanboy, Mick J-67, Ava's favorite My Little Pony pencil wants Joe to slap into a snim-jim. Is this thing recording? Mr. and Mrs. Drifter,

representative of the Alaskan Midnight Burger tummy time chapter. Nathaniel Lee Industries. Sir Dreadmore Spiba is wondering if Bethany likes night breakfast. Lord Entropy. Bach, motherfucker, the Faye Wanderer, everybody's favorite clowns Splotchy, Pinstrike algorithm, Psycho Queen, kosher steak. For the last time, it's Gabriel Strife. Don't Tavrock Stormbringer, me, Joe. Alyssa's shiny pants, Gondor Coles for Aid, Muscles for Tits, Arnold Rumspringer, the Demise of the Temple of Bethany's. Alan Bergland says, Hi, Mom, Kitty McSull. Raven Strom Dan's hapless novelist passenger of the dimensionally

impermanent and temporally incontinent bookshop cafe, the wild-eyed prophet, Tessa Craig, perfectly personalized disaster, Richard Schofeld, Jim Turner, Lux Luminos, Javiero, Big Chunk, Good Deeds. Sasha, the being of chaos was not involved in the Bethany crisis. Boom Boom's wooden leg. Will the real Maudieb please stand up? Kitty Cat and Lollipop can't get enough of this. Jillian C. U. Don 96. Benjamin, not Franklin. Tracy Baby. Leia. Is that the Chris Hancock who traded weekly soup for the use of my kitchen table? A singular nightbird. Bethany reading in a green field. I am the lizard frantically firing flachet guns. Bumblefay. Mr. Epsilon. The Mothman. Loughamette

Matt. D.J. Lennie Harris. Robert W. Breelsabub. Kresemira. Jessa Loren. May Day Hoops. The Bean Wizard. Myth and Stitch embroidery loves the mucklewains. Lulu, Loo, Loolew. Duleo. The Brew family. Bert Ruba, your most benevolent lord and master of the multiverse. Jeffrey George, exquisite whimsy. Ellie, don't tariff me, bro. Oopsie! Evelyn, the wizard mooses holds out their cat for you to pet. Grimlore, existential pancakes, Gianni Wabooam!

Errant Popsicle Stick. M. Horowitz, Isle of Refuge, Jack Spider's Mom. Bubblebutt Bethany has banana breath. Lama Fresh. Jair the Benevolent Destroyer. Valtiel Heller. Revin the Red Beard Wizard. Bert and the Funky Bunch.

Corora the 12th. Shh! Samian Fletterjohn, Zom Khan, Bethany II, Electric Bugulu, Welcome to the Kwanpound. Pen, pen, pen, pen, pen, pen, pen. Mr. Mucacho, Kaisersnitzel is outside Sarah Murphy's house on Raxias, recruiting for the Troublepuffs Fight Club. The wolves in the deep freeze say, awo! Julie Hammond, Sanctuary Moons No. 2 fans.

Simpson, Jason, Alice Lewis, simply Amy Sue. I pushed her because Joe said so. Even older Liz. McBearcat, Greck Pinfeather, Citicon, Druidic, Druidic scientist. Astro, Your Friendly Neighborhood, Android, Moonlight Zombie Fox, Old Doc Racy, the Midnight Missionary, Out There Somewhere Looking for You. Rotten Ronnie sleeps in Grandma Panties. Squawonky!

Artist Dragonborn. Bigby Garage, Bill Zangana Lester, Joaquin Jimenez. Hello, Big List, I'm Dad. Now let Joe get some rest. It's time for bed. Muffins, Spacewives. Chad Hatter, Cosmic Teamaker of the Triads. Captain Jack Harkness wants Peter the Robot.

Oreo? Oreo? No, wait, pineapple. Actually, never mind. Oreo. Tell your cat, I said, Pss, Pss, Psyp, Psyp, Spus, Psyp. Banana Manaz, a corgi cold kibble,

Cudley Crackin, Life's Lode Studio, and his wife, Meganator. Axel Light, Sarge the Bard, Ciminity, Rielfan, L.L. Cool Mint Jams, Travis Roberta, The other original Caitlin, Kemp, Kemp, Kemp, Kna, The Jaded Umbra gets slightly less jaded

as peace once again returns to the land. Leah Izotti, Milly was taken, Dead to Me 86, B. Camp, Shan Man, Man, Man, Karma Karma Camillion. Kinran is chilling at Moonbase. Zoe and her army of mice. Briar Longlost. Daniel.

Sammy the Baby Seal. Trixie Bell Du Bois. Dr. Budiologist, the glutes doctor. The Hood's Pocket Electricians Union reminds you that we're always here to check your shorts. Thank you for pressing two. Your Anglophone Emotional Support Canadian request will be processed in the order in which it was received. Queen Sirley Jess. R. IP Lance McLean, you would have loved Midnight Burger.

Adam Toclove. Dr. Bitchcraft. Sassy Cat the Space Vixen, Claire Rock, Jekka, Aros de God, the size two fish you've been looking for, E yokai, Borja, spiders are cuddly, Lafayette Lazzania Lovers 1, Ronan Stonebridge, The Main Immortal thinks it should be Kendadios, Cheal Neal. Sin City Scuba Steve, Polywag, Michaela White, Elena Pickle, Wilbur Winklewright, Wristwatch Rangler of West Worcestershire finally spots Red Nell as the Carnage Clears. Professor Thadius Snookums the 8th.

Mr. Grin, Glenn Petrovsky. moment of silence, so joke and catch his breath, is brought to you by Rick Tyler, audible breath. Elizabeth Hammond. Cheap con. Yeah, you heard me. The real cheap con. Except no imitations.

Steam Vision, conductor of the interdimensional time-spanning hype train. Dave Harold. Wisecube. Dirty diaper fussbutt and the piggy runt. Bro mine. Pronounce bro. Mine. Humdinga.

Mother of Pearl. Fiona now owns Laif's 18-inch Peter. Sealface. Rigor Mortis. Megan's Things. Things Megan makes. Coilane. Trebex Reject.

Prophet of the God of the Mucklewains, Igneus Burb, Darth Ox. This brief pause is brought to you by Michelle Kay's wish for Joe to catch his breath, Aaron Arnold. Boyo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yoin. Internet Explorer has arrived to join the Bethany War. Alpacalypse. I'll take one butter and brie on rye, please. Elliot paints, undead Akira,

the Lord Reverend, Portagos Pecks, Ryan. Thomas's 10 Tenebrist Taffel tippers treading treacherously tantamount to telling totalitarian trope termination tales. The lovely Lara Lovely. Keith Gamge, Sam Wise's Flamen Cousin, Daryell, Jeremy the Ruler, Goachy, Charles Robert Darwin the Third, Esquire Ph.D., Jacob Mitchell, smooting for Verge, Zeke in the Box, Stevie Crowhill, How to Get Jack from John, The Adventures of Magpie and Brown Bear. Scrobes, Becky, Just Some Guy from Adelaide, named Ryan? Remi, the panda crew, Melody Prime, Beardo the Wizard, Captain Benjamin Hawkeye Pierce, the German short-hair pointer from Nashville, wants to tell his mom Maddie that he says, woof, Any two hands for the double high-five? Marissa the Ghost. Local snowplows in your area are dying to meet you.

Rutherford B. Chesterfield and his dapper companion Winchester. Cheshire Corgi, Stray Cat, Old Kelsey No Shoes, Zoldia, Dizzy Flame. We serve everyone eventually. Sasha, Beth and Alan Van Gillis, Langston North, Sly Fox, aka Brayer Rabbit, Pan Starts Champion, the Constantly Lost Geographer, Timothy Aiotis. Chance wants you to know, he cares. Wolfstark, Elliot, Hobbs, Duccoe, Natalie Bartlett, Rory of Yin, Mooby the Golden Calf, Kiry on the asteroid wrangler,

Giovanni Salinas, Rocky G, Perry the Pirate, Aaron Elizabeth, K. Narcotics, Solomon Price, A daydream you won't escape, Angela Sanchez, Ava-M, Baja 8, Chimelbach the Christmas Whale, Kaiju Summelye, Stella Corvus, Jesus Garcia, J.P. The IT Guy, Guy, Candyman Fight, Sandwich, John Peters, you know, The Farmer, Markly on the Holladeck, Dapper Dad, SCP 049. O. Magis. Raven the Dreamer. TK. Turtle King, Mike M. Space-based lasers. Captain B and Lady G with their swabs. Marla, Madam, Lotus, still specifically loves Finley. Mr. Steamwave. My friend the rhino says be nice. Hop challenge. Dream Founder. I'm your Huckleberry. Elizabeth T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. The wonder hamster and her dear darling Duke.

Grandpa Gus, boombastical Kim Licker, Coco Yumi is painting ponies, Hugamuffin, Big Foot of Doom, D.L. Annie Atkins. Crandy Man the Pug Whisperer. Garrow. Our cat said to tell you, meow. You boy of indeterminate origin, Benjamin Ortiz, Mr. Frog President. Pop Rock Quicksand, Molly lives on Mars. Mr. Squizzle, Whizzle, the horrendous, apologizes for conspiring in the Bethany War. Invites for Tea are being sent now.

Abonasso, Trina Ward, Spooky Spader's Storytime, William Kent, Andy, The McJimmies from your local dimension, Xavier Killingsworth, Lane Kiffin is a ho, Mimetic Hygienist, Rogue Art, Aaron Star Joshua, Spunkie Dan, Rachel Seymour, Chis Alphridge, the Bullheaded Professor, Alexandre La Roque has brought LaGyotein to assist the Bethanies in their survival war. Vive la Revolution. Ed Boy, Ryan Fennelly, Jonathan Kay, Pearl Null. Another Monster, Petabyte Avatar, Tugwin the Mighty, Project Octopus, Ken, Chibs 1012, Scotty Oates, Byrotron 95, Dan's granted clemency by his overlord parents. Dance break! Spiku, the Bracken system and its homeworld Wren, Simply Tony. It will always be Findlay's workhole to me if you know, you know. Gabrielle Castion.

Whom, what, when, where, and why is what all Thigroney say while listening to Midnight burger. Nico de Gaio goes great on midnight burgers. A drum major and a trapeze artist walk into Connie's bar. Sir Party annal. Biro the motherfucking dragon of the Shreveport, the motherfucking dragons. Uloid Jackal. Are he sure you Mike Rob

the Nancy Sinatra? Court need to leave it alone if you want to live. Must be a witch. Cat with a K. Mitha Groney has a first name. Stambenstein L. Mustachio. Lukifer Hezekiel. Lachiawa Brava. Adolin Petz. C. C. Carousel. Cork the

destroyer, Honest Puck, Casper's Moms a Milt, Scout and Foxgloves says the floor is lava, red Nell hiding in a crowd of Bethany's to avoid capture by Wiley Wilbur Winklewright Wristwatch Wrangler of West Worcestershire. Kerdomsky. Craig Armstrong, Plastic Fork, Dulce Studios

Presents, Under the Truskin Sun, Get out of Mabuth, Bug, Propagator, I hardly know her. Sad Angry Crab Man, Chuck McFenley, Effie and Zebulon's Trans Granddaughter Hazel Hayes. Velocity Girl 42, Little dragon and a cauldron of bats. Ben Carlile, flat Steve's love for grand theft, Anna Kearney,

Crashly Strange Lilia, the four schnauzers of the apocalypse, Starbla's Burnbright, Mzukioki, Spotted Rhino and Her Hand Me Down Frogs, Red Mafia Panda, Lonely Isle, Cuy Dileo Headphones, Hinkle, Pike Man Stover, Foneman Stover's wife, Cernoculus, Scrizels, Thwap, Gitty, Gitty, Gitty, the Firekeeper, the End is Nye, Jeremiah the cancelled, Librarian Alex, Spike and Thay, Johnny Allen West and the boys from the dwarf, Speedy McSpeedy, Eli, Wolf, Brandy Gunter, Auntie Becky is owned by five rescue cats, Speckled Unicorn, Jedi rides again with Nova the Space Pirate, Tevin Longblade Short Sword, Forget Normal, A Damn!

C.J. Johnson, a dragon sitting on its hoard of dice, Wendell Whitaker, Chumbo Wombo, Thichoo, Smithy, Glowbed Roulette, Andrew Fuller, Dane and Deb, Ban Mehung, the Soupwich, Bender F.T.W. Fettishini Alfredo. Cowboy on Sosquatch, Hunts Bethany's, Pebbles, V. V. F. E. Rallings. Megan Haysen. Philip, Your Dad is not your dad. Nick Beaum. Midnight Plummer. His Royal Highness, Mr. Hamilton Underfoot Kitty the First and Accomplice, Princess Penelope, the Marchioness of Mischief and Maven of Mystery. Megan Gentry. Megan Gentry. Megan Gentry. Megan Hes. The true Megynette. Megamike. Fred and George. Lavinia. Eva Maddox Jr. Lysa Wirt. Yit My Boy. 46 Toolshed 2 and El Marie Catastrophe. The Image Collector. Blended Music. Definitely not Kevin. Sitting Squirrel. Patricia E. Melt missed everyone. A round of yarg's on the house. Red the Grey, the Silver Crow, Couch Potato Alex, Neverchild. Dr. Nassos, Interdimensional Space Biologist. Caboco Duneord. Lil Kev. Kosamine. Theodrax. Joey B. Lucas Barting.

Little Debbie Cupcake. Terran says, hey, Oreos are rabbit. Sandalwood Mountain offers peace for your soul. Wimical fuckery. Megan with an H. Hey, it's warranty lady. Look, I've been thinking, maybe it'd be best if we, you know, saw other people for a bit. I need more. Patricia the time lord. Is it though? Mango connoisseur, pretty bug and the quirky jester. The big moose demands justice for Betty and Maloo. The old glory coal. Giel Miao-Nay's cat butler. O'Sheen Lou, Alex Berry, Andrew Oakden, asymmetrical exile, Chirocat, the Sun God, Eliza Travels the Universe, Alex Spence, Dr. D. Bertclaus, Sweather, and Mrs. Dubbobtoway Bertcloff, want to say hello to the whole Spweather family. I lost my galaxy britches in a game of pants, angry Ron, Dominus Caesar,

Durka Dub, Gloria's ex-girlfriend, Kelly Clickspring, the wild thistle, most likely Cass. James Harlow is still mad about missing BurgerCon, the sweet planetary aroma of Fiona's grilled cheese sandwiches, Jasmine James. Dr. Cabr-A-Aunt, also known as Omni. Thanks, Waffle Chateau. Colorado Beekeeper, Fruitcake, Zephyr in the Witch's Den, Anatha, Zendria. Jennifer Colkins, Midday Burger, Don Parks, throat goat 666, oh my God, my dad found out about my Patreon name. Princess Leia, Sonic Boy 99 would like a Bethany Butt sandwich, but will settle for a fish in a bag. Prime Freak, Protector of the Scottish Realm, Lil Lord Stevie Pie. Droid Pirate Finley, and his Rubin-esque parrot. Droid pirate Fendley and his Rubin-esque parrot. Stuck in a pit of Skittles.

Sea Squatch. Deflatermouse. Tony Piacarski. Samantha. Adrian R. The Devil from Table 12. Javier. Crazy Thadley. Cremulus is just happy to be here. The twisted twister. The rural juror is a massive fan. Faye Queen. Upshnart the probability demolition expert. Showtime. C.R. Ipted. For my mother. C.C.TX. Girl 6823 waiting on the diner. Nicole Studioso. Your shovel is now charging. Droid Pirate Finley and his Rubin-esque penguin? Truck Stop Sandwich, Indigo Escargo, Love My Captain, Joe Mauma, Wandering Biscuit, Ames Affection for Internet Protection, Retro-M-G, NightScript,

widget the World Watcher wearing a waistcoat and wig. Lana, banana, banana, banana. Lana, banana, banana. Utrudin Rose's Viking Void Vitals, fueling the intergalactic fight against FACTS. Not sure what I'm doing. Senior Deuce, Scullacy, Warped Ryder, Tim Nacey, Ruben Clamzo, Turwin, Hugh the Midi Mungo, Morgan Brockman, Sylvie, Friendly Neighborhood Protection Engineer, Skullbulb. Dustin Watson, Betty White 813, Randy Supreme and Queen Lancaster, The One True Cheapcon, Starscribe, Lucian Thunderstruck. Oh, ma-mama! Glorbedar 7 now granting refugee status to victims fleeing the Bethany Wars. Dooser now identifies as Roman Durge, The Other Adele, Chef Gal Val, Leah Hall, Sarah May.

Cone of Silence Consultants, LLC needs fresh towels in room three at the horizon. Silly Willie Bubblebutt, Sierra not from Arkansas. Zico! Ebenezer Boob, Caleb Tumiala, Jason Woods, Arne Arbuckle Esquire, Digital Fluf Lost in Time, Potion Maestro, Nebula Nell, Regulators! Mound Up, the first descendant, Cringle Over Coffee, Mad Yogi Eileen, a cat named M, Petito Pato, Palace, Big Bo, demonic narwhal 8. I am Annie, I live forever in every moment I've existed.

I swear to every star in the cosmos, I never forgot it was a gift. The Stone Fox. Tricia Schaefer says, Ew, David, that is not a taco. Sylvia, Jucatan, Papitos, Boinghauer, Jennifer Baumer, Ninja Grim Reaper, Miles Nelson. I am a bomb till I think of something better to do. A burrit words. Hot Shot Huntley, Momo's Mama, Space Mormon says what? Ivy Paisley, Toast, Sue Watts, Myrtle, Kate,

The Whitelan leader of the Unicorn Revolution, Trans-Dimensional Delivery Man, Batlock, Lord of the 13th Sea, Mr. Trigvey, Printing with Cats, Calici Del Mar, Von Vega, Dixie Dinah, 7,000 Possums, Sarah Jack Sparrow Space Pony, Revive, Debbie E, Emma, Mr. and Mrs. Owo, Dusty Ventures, and his pilot Uzi drifting through space. Ronnie Porter, Gloria's Linecook, Eagle Rock Lobster, the gabbiest painter and her bird of fire! Wondering Wenjo, Painted Onee, Q Dell, Farel, Emily with 2E, Spaceman Nathan. Ramsey's Niblick the third. Karpunk. Kerplunk. Whoops, Where's Mythrivel? Jackie Wai Gagarin. Issa the Strega. D. Gritesler. A gremlin with the munchies. Michelle Skarachio. Genuine Jacob. Andy's Brain is Weird. Space rooster Randy. Leopard D. Tung. Mellow Nuggets.

Keychain crap. Matt Mack's Sharkman. Stee-Lo. Arcadia. Bumbling Lilybee. A quick paw so Joe can sip from his tiny teakup. Is ramen tea? Bufardee's nuts. Panda. Curtis Lelig. Kennedy Allison Farner. Tristan Stolles. Dalen Y. Shadow Rapture. Yet another Nicole. Hank the Wonderlama. Arcraft. Russell. Zephyrus win, the ornamental hermit. Jay to the Lynn. Just a regular fox. Jeremy Impson. What the hell? Sinaplexes. And all the black people in North Carolina. Just Rachel. Waffles, waffles, waffles, Waffles. Danger girl. Danger girl. Danger Girl, Atlas Bear, Patty the Ginger, Ava's cigarette ash. Hugh Biffed it. A-Zuse! Anaphylaxis. Scab with Comtacks.

The shape-shifting sad girl and her girlfriend say, Joe, you've done it again. Bibbi Baba, Sarah Nicole, the Kells fights with the Bethany's. Angry Laf's Lasersaw. Magnus Erochill, Amy Perry, Christopher Kai. Source decay, the Spweather Cowby,

Skexus, Vagabond Mary, Randy's Amigo, Katie Mermaid and the delinquent duo. Nauman, Nicole. Victor Schauberger reincarnated as White Mountain Hillbilly Glitter Cupcake, Max Danger's Security Chief Shatsy, The Anx Peach, Team Michelle and Billy, Nea Nix Reno, Frankenator, Nortle Bash, Jordan, Arwin X. Belasco, Ryan Rosinski, average height, medium rage, audio monkey, Joe, team Hafeovesen, Monica and Mason Kay. In the mysterious AZHQ, I'll grant you that we have a multiplicity of mics, a jumble of James as a trifecta of Tonys, one of whom still wants to be Laif,

but sadly, no Bethanies. Lady of the Black and Herald of the Stars. R.A.N. Kent Manage Normal. Ryan Burnett, the joyful nihilist, Dr. Dr. B., Zoprez, and the Bumble Army. Growing into my farm boots. Superbeth becomes an RN alongside my bootst up farm friend. Geneva Boss, brothers of the cosign, uncivil gnomes, the Rat Queen Evelyn. Great lunch conversation. The other Scott, Letty Lou.

He was a shifty one that Nick Howard. Kinger was here. Babi Wibobid Wobadduwap. Warped Echoes. Slabs McTurps. Lord Robert O Tardis wishes your. your 2026 to be bigger on the inside. Jeremiah Franco, Justin, the nick of time, Gothic rainbow, So we made it, Cody McClure, McHadley, like McDonald's, Eternal Companion, Maxime Lizote, Jingalos, heiress, goddess of nobody, Has Matilda, Ditsy Bay, just your average Reese,

Kyle Church, I am a laf on the wind, static ego, some fucking swamp wizard, Lolly, Evan M. Dobson, Dave B, Nabi, your friendly neighborhood pathologist, going to be lit, I am Shaggy, Captain Emerald L. Wayne Hall, Danny Mars, externally screaming. But Bethany, I made biscuits, skeebo, and fuzzle McMurpernets, Neelix Tiny Wolf, Asher the Raven, Christina Senate is teleporting, BRB. The Shanes are not organized enough for a war, but there is a growing number of us, and it is concerning. Definitely not an android. Seriously, I'm not. The Wandering Welshman, whatever Tabby, Carolyn Harper, Nikolai Tolkachev, Capo the Sartorius, Z3DT, Shy Sparrows, BLT, BLTN. The Kiwi Duckling. Dana-Dena-Bobana, Fee-Fiah Fana. Dad and Aubrey, the dirt bike

demons. Tequila Mockingbird. Snuffle up a goose. Dammer in the space goblin. I so pale. Oh no. A bee! I am Lord Zoltan. Hear me roar. Pocket ghost Max. Mags the Conqueror. Wes and Heather wonder if Derek Adair will join. My cat's name is a beef. Eric. Katie Kate. Get your colonoscopy. Victor Casados. Emily Schmemley. Work from Elvis. Boho go bye-bye for Jojo. Pogo. That's a no-go. Cody Monster, Collided Mind, Miss Nixie, Baby Baton Lee, Charlie Roodle, Kyle Perino, A.K.K. Sid, the Sloth on a bike. Priya Gandhi. The Wandering Mermaid would like you to know that the little mermaid and the creature from the Black Lagoon are the same exact story. Lil Stevie Pie, Green Mountain Hermit, Deaf Alargic to Bethany Stew, Two Polter Cat, Carl, The Teller of Dad Jokes, Skylab's Multimensional, Multifacial,

Dad jokes. Skylab's multi-dimensional, multifacic intergalactic quantum cyberverse. Verde Sol. Galen Miller, Tess, Geriatric Youngen, Mystic Hippie, Unforcible, Local Marshag, Daniel Nitz, Mavis Bacon's, Pyro's Calling, Joe Swayan, the Wizard's Supercalifragilistic XBialadocious, and introducing Risi Pontiff as the 25th Doctor. Too many Jans! Catchot, Pamela Rose El Chiera, then Stina Says, Thud Tweed, Inegbatic Catbird, Countess of Carbon, Slappy the Squirrel, Luminus Elk, Rodian caution, love is for the nerds. Taz Hernandez, Captain Crash on the surviving crew, Casper needs all the hugs, but Joe needs an O2 tank. Quote says, Joe is the writer's room. Awkward heretic, Devon 777, Troy Aker, Mandy Kane, Northerly Kay, Lost Basan, you know,

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Had it Hit it Hit it Hot it Bradley Ashby Peter Megan Oki William Dyer

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duggery. Mitty Lou, Kelsey Home. Still Casper's number one fan, but now armed with a quantum spatula and ready to duel every Bethany in the multiverse with breakfast wisdom. Amanda Marie Catherine, Damien the goddamn time lawyer, Matt Mosby, St. Foo, Harry Fishnuts, Joshua Cody, Estranoe, Magnos the Civil Gnome. Welcome everybody. I'm Hydealon and I'll be leading our Midnight Burger emotional support group. Starlight, David Pierrini, Techno Ranger Rick, Joe's Weeslap, Virgo Ares Infinity, Best Budd's Danny and M, Charles Q Choi,

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I missed you guys so much. Terrific. For the record, Joseph, I prefer the second take. But they're both great. So pick your favorite. Since we're waiting for David, actually, can we just go back to, let's just go back to Effie's entrance. Could you give me a little more, uh, Full metal jacket. I'll take it from a center made of ideas and then go into the list. Terrific. Terrific.

Hold on. I got my classic actor gas. Love that that made into the bloopers last month. Classic actor gas. Primus lid, yes. Primus lid. Oh, I got it right until I fucked up the take. Sorry.

Change all you wish. My hand will still. hold yours. I know. I'm feeling like a little bit emotional here, just reading that. That's fine. So good. She would think about what she's become.

Hold on. Excuse me. Classic actor gas. Classic act to guess. All right. Perfect. The whole rhyming bit. That was all great.

That's all right. It was. I don't know if great is what I would call it. Adequate. It is allowed. Does that make sense? I know. I'm not speaking in English.

What I want to hear is... Vives only. Let's try it again. I think so. Let me see if I can feel it out. Finley, you're dumb. You make no sense. It's fine.

We're going to figure this out. We've perfected the warp tunnel maneuver. We can now completely dodge any... We've... That's a stroke. Okay. Here we go. Shake it out.

Okay. We've perfected the warp tunnel maneuver. We can now completely dodge energy bombardments from the home world without losing any ships. Okay. Try it one more time. Yeah. There we go. Okay.

We've perfected the warp tunnel maneuver. We can now completely dodge energy bombardments from bombardments. Bombardment. It's like, it's not even a hard line. I'm just stupid. Like extra judicially. Okay. Okay.

We've perfected the warp tunnel maneuver. We can now completely dodge energy and bombardment. Oh, no. I all died. Hello, bloopers. Oh, no. We can now completely dodge energy and bombardments. Is that the word?

Is that the word? Energy bombardments is what you're looking for. Energy bombardments. Yeah. Excellent. Okay. Here we go. Okay.

We've perfected the warp tunnel maneuver. We can now completely dodge energy bombardments from homeworld without losing any ships. Good. What else? Every time, like when I was younger, when I would perform anything that required, singing or speaking, suddenly I was like, oh my God, I need to burp. I need to burp so bad. Stress response is burping. There's fights, there's flight, and there's belching. And then there's burping. Not bad, 35 minutes. I feel like that's actually a record for us. It's pretty

great. It's amazing how much we can get done when we are on a time table. I know. And like when no one is being murdered upstairs. I'm right. Four lines from the bottom, forgive me. Damn it, Starbird. Hey. Hey, bombardment. I was so mad. Anachronistic earthlings inexplicably possessing again, because I will, I practice that one.

All my grad school funds went into being able to say that one line. Worth it. The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish. Thank you.