Midnight Burger - Midnight Burger Interludes Part 3: Preludes

Episode Date: October 24, 2022

We are back with a final set of short pieces before Season 3 begins!The Dead Woman of Brownie's CreekHarlan County, Kentucky, 1963.June takes her baby cousins camping and tells them the story of the day her Daddy met The Dead Woman of Brownie's Creek...Cast:June... Christine NelsonThe Ex... Camille SmickerWritten and Directed by Joe FisherA Mucklewain ChristmasNo matter how you celebrate, another year completed is always a miracle worth celebrating. We wish you many more...Cast:Neal Starbird - Zebulon MucklewainJulie Cowden-Starbird - Effie MucklewainWritten and Directed by Joe FisherOffice Hours"It's our universe, they just don't know it yet."Cast:Finlay Stevenson as AvaLauren LeBlanc as MargueriteWritten and Directed by Joe FisherProduced by Joe Fisher and Finlay Stevenson. Read and search Scripts with PodScripts: https://podscripts.app/For more information on our show, visit our website: https://www.weopenatsix.comSubscribe for early access, ad free episodes, additional content and more!Subscribe on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/midnightburgerSubscribe on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midnight-burger/id1537653218Subscribe on Supporting Cast: https://midnightburger.supportingcast.fmHow about some merch? https://www.midnightburgermerch.comSign up for our newsletter: https://weopenatsix.beehiiv.com/Find and support our sponsors at: fableandfolly.com/partnersSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hello, everyone. We are back once again with one last set of short pieces before we go into season three. Now, if you miss the dates, we are just about to go into season three. It starts on November 1st for subscribers. And it starts on December 15th for the public feed. So it's going to be a very fun season. We're excited about it. We're excited to see y'all on either our subscription feed or our public feed. If you would like to subscribe, Just go to our website, and that will detail all the ways you can subscribe to the show. So, on with the good stuff. We had a lot of fun doing these, and we wanted to share them with the rest of the big wide world out there. We're calling these preludes.

These are all scenes from the Midnight Burger World that happened sort of outside of an episode and before the episodes actually started. So in a lot of these, you'll see scenes from people before they came to the diner. Now, the ex recounts in Chapter 13 the tale of how she got back to the diner. But there's another story involved that she did not tell. And we would like to tell that story to you right now. So, if you don't mind, if you've got a moment, please enjoy the dead woman of Brownies Creek. All right, y'all, settle down.

Bobby, Caroline, settle down. Put your butts on the ground, y'all. Y'all want a story and now it's time for a story. Good. Thank you, y'all. Now, there's all kinds of stories I can tell you around crampfires, but I hear tell what y'all want tonight is a scary story, is that right? Well, now, seen as how all your parents have put their trust in your big cousin June

to bring their kids out here into the woods, I'm not sure that telling a scary story is the most responsible thing one could do. Can y'all promise me that if I tell you this story that you'll still go to bed in your tents like good little boys and girls? Yeah. Everybody nod your heads. All right. Settle in. This story is a true story.

And it took place a long time ago. Here we are in 1963. This story takes place all the way back in 19 and 34. Do you all know how many years ago that was? No. Well, that was 29 years ago, children. I wasn't even alive back then, but my daddy was. And he told me this story the same way I am going to tell it to you right now.

It all took place right here by Brown. Tony's Creek in Harlan County, Kentucky. See, back then, Harlan County was a dangerous place. Coal miners were striking and the sheriff wasn't having any of it. The sheriff back then was a man by the name of Winston Duffy, one of the meanest men to ever set foot in Harlan County, and this county has seen some mean ones. Strikers were getting pulled out of their homes in the middle of the night

and left for dead in the woods. leaving crying wives and babies behind them. To this day, they'll still find old bones among them persimintries. The bodies of striking workers at the sheriff decided to disappear. My daddy tells me that one day, in the midst of all this strife and famine, the folks around Brownies Creek were treated to a miracle. Somehow, overnight, someone had built. an entire restaurant right in the middle of town. A fancy one too. One like they'd never seen.

The people in town walked in wondering what it was all about and waiting there to take their order was a beautiful Mexican lady. And she told them all the food was free. You see nobody had money for food back then because the coal company was trying to start him out. Wives were mixing sawdust into their bread to make it big enough just to feed their whole food. family and in the midst of all that a restaurant giving out free food have you heard of such a thing they thought their prayers had been answered but after a whole day of stuffing themselves full of hot brown and mutton they awoke the next morning to find that the magical restaurant had disappeared just as easy as it had shown up they wondered if it was all a dream now i know what you're thinking you're thinking miss june this doesn't sound like no scary story to me.

Well, just you wait till this next part. For in the morning, when they found that the mysterious restaurant had disappeared, they also found it had left behind a dead body. Now, back then, the folks around Brownies Creek were no strangers to dead folks. As I said, the sheriff was making plenty of dead bodies, but this particular body was unlike any,

anything you'd seen before. She was a beautiful woman with no signs of violence about her, almost as if she had slipped there in the tall grass. But when you moved to touch her, you'd find that her skin was ice cold. And she seemed to shimmer in the daylight. Now, y'all are too young to know, and I'm sure your parents ain't a told you what it's like

like when a body goes from living to being dead, but your parents ain't here around this campfire with us, so I'm going to tell you some things you best not know. When a body dies, it begins to go bad. The skin turns pale, the eyes go white, and you begin to smell something awful. You just can't imagine the smell. Worse than ten piles of garbage. y'all. A smell so bad your eyes start to water and then and then come the birds. Birds of all kinds gather around a dead body hesitant at first making sure that you're dead and then they start to pick away with you and they start with your eyes. But with this strange body that now lay here in the grass there was no such thing.

No birds, no smell, no whiteness in the eyes. It's like she was frozen in time. They had a hard time even calling her dead, but with no heartbeat and no life in her eyes and with skin as cold as the bottom of Brownies Creek itself, they didn't know what else to call her. The sheriff was informed of the strange body that had appeared down by the creek,

but he was in no hurry to clean up yet another mess that had been left by the chaos of Harlan County. So the dead woman at Brownies Creek lay there for days, covered by a white sheet, held down with stones. In those few days, the minds of everyone in town ran wild.

Who could she be? Where could she have come from? What is she? Some say she was a fallen angels, and others said she was a witch that could run afoul of this. devil. They spoke in hushed tones as they gazed across the road at the billowing white sheet, knowing underneath lay the body. Not breathing, but not dying neither. Days later,

Sheriff Winston Duffy finally arrived to address the issue. Everybody watched from afar as he tore away the sheet and circled the body. No one knew whether to be scared of the body or scared to the sheriff. Now, all the people in town let their imaginations run wild about this mystery, the sheriff found himself without a drop of curiosity. Not one bit. He didn't care that the body of this woman defied the laws of nature, and he didn't care about any stories of the vanishing restaurant that apparently dropped her off. His only thought was to bend down and roll her up in the sheet and throw her in the back of his police car. But when he reached down to do away with her corpse, he felt an ice cold hand wrap around its neck. And he locked eyes with the otherworldly

face of the dead woman of Brownies Creek. Aspered to him, the sheriff jumped back so far that he nearly jumped out of his skin. And the townspeople watched in horror as the dead woman and slowly rose to her feet like she was pulling herself out from hell. The sheriff's face went white as he stumbled backwards. She spoke his name again. Winston, she said. You killed me, Winston. Nobody but the sheriff recognized the voice that came from that woman,

and he knew that voice all too much. Well, it was the voice of his wife. His wife, who had mysteriously disappeared not six months ago. The voice of his wife emerged again from her mouth. You buried me in the yard? In the yard? Under the swing set? She spoke as she lurched towards him, now covered in sweat,

and the sheriff drew his gun. you stay back I don't know who you are but you stay back but despite his warnings she continued to move toward him all those years all those childrens

and you buried me under the swing set three shots rang out as the sheriff pulled the trigger but as I'm sure you can imagine you can't kill something that ain't alive they say you could hear the bullets bounce off her skin like she was made of steel. Three more shots rang out, and she still kept coming.

You think you're a big man because you got that gun? You took my life, and now I'm going to take your soul, Winston. And the sheriff, a grown man, started screaming like he was no older than y'all. He jumped into his police car, and hit the gas and tore off down the road, leaving his not mirror in the rear view. The dead woman at Brownies Creek gave no chase. She stood there as the sheriff's car kicked up dirt and sped away. She stood there and stood there and stood there.

For you'd never seen something so still. People in town in the safety of their homes watched her, waiting for hours for her to do something. Anything. While they waited, they wondered. Wondered how the woman could suddenly wake from her slumber and take on the voice of the sheriff's wife? What was all that talk about being buried under the swing's head? As the sun began to sit, there was one young man in town who decided he'd waited long enough.

He was going to approach the dead woman who stood as still like a tombstone just a hundred feet away. that young man was my daddy. My daddy crept out of the corner store where he was heightened and slowly made his way toward her. My daddy was a paratrooper during the war, and he jumped out of airplanes with only a parachute and dropped down into enemy territory, and he told me the fear he felt when he was jumping out of a plane was nothing.

Compared to the fear he felt walking toward the dead woman at Brownies Creek that day, he approached her real curious like. And when he was halfway convinced she wasn't going to leap toward him and rip his soul from his body, my daddy simply said, ma'am, what is it you want from us?

And then suddenly she turned to him. She turned to him and said with a hollow voice, where's Casper? Then she fell once again to the ground. Daddy was desperate for this day to come to an end. town couldn't spend any more time being held hostage by this woman. So after taking a deep breath, he bent down, rolled the body into that sheet, carried her to the deepest part of Brownies Creek he could find and tossed her cold body in it. She sank to the bottom like a stone and disappeared.

And that was that. Daddy never found out what she meant by what she said. Who was this Casper? Why was she looking for him. It was the strangest day of his life. You know what else was strange? Two days later, Sheriff Winston Duffy confessed to the murder of his wife. I suppose his encounter with the dead woman of Brownie's Creek shook him to his core, and over the years they began to call her a saint, for she had rid Harlan County of the sheriff, and he was one of the most evil sons of bitches this county's ever seen. Yeah, that's right. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're You heard me, I said sons of bitches. They say you can still see her body sometimes when the sun shines real bright on the creek.

And my daddy told me that place where he dropped her in the creek is right behind us right now. But don't get scared, y'all. That was, as I said, 29 years ago. So I think we can all rest assured that the dead woman at Brownies Creek has found her final resting place. And speaking of resting places, my story has ended, and it's time for y'all to get into your tents and get a good night's sleep. Now go on, we're getting up real early to go fishing. Now, not you. Hope it ain't too cold down there.

Where's Casper? Where's Casper? Welcome to Radio Rental. The scariest stories you've ever heard in your life. All told by real people. Oh, and off we go. On one side of me, I have these people whispering to each other, staring at me, and then the other side I have this distaste man girdling.

I was afraid that something was trying to trick me and lure me down there, and I had no idea what I would find if I walked down to that pond. Zach, there are people outside the room. Radio Rental is available now. Listen for free on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Up next in our preludes, everybody loves Effie and Zebulon Muckle Wayne. They are kind of the soul. of the show, the spiritual center of the show. We all love them. We wanted to do something

just kind of fun with them and do a scene that actually centers around what their life was like before they came to the diner and before they became the strange creatures that they are now, the real Effie and Zebulon, Michael Wayne, the flesh and blood Effie and Zebulon Michael Wayne. And also we wanted to do a Christmas episode. Listen, if you don't celebrate Christmas, I want you to know that I celebrate you. Okay. However, Effie and Zebulon, Muckle Wayne, they love Christmas. And we wanted to do a Christmas episode with them celebrating a little bit of Christmas.

And so we put together this episode for you, a Muckle Wayne Christmas. And we very much hope you enjoy it. Here it is, a Muckle Wayne Christmas. They're listening right now. Hello, y'all. It's Effie. And, oh, I am not supposed to be speaking into this microphone of ours right now. But it is Christmas Eve here in our little corner of God's country, and the mood struck me.

I hope this season has struck you in good spirits. I know it's tough out there for some of y'all, but I do believe that sorrow has the shelf life of a head of lettuce, and may your sorrows, if you have them, soon be wilted in your cupboard. Honey? Oh, my, I have been discovered. My dear, are you sending out missives to the listeners? I am, darling. I was in a mood. Very well.

Hello to you all. Dear, you know around this time of year I get to thinking about the have-nots. Such as we should. But you also know how, this time of year, we dip into the brandy just a little bit. A bit, yes. Because y'all, we love Jesus, but we drink a little. Just a bit. Because we are on the eve of the birth of the baby Jesus,

and if there was ever a time to show our appreciations, it should be now? Yes, within moderation, of course. If you say so, dear. Y'all, I hope the Lord has given you a year that affords you some presents under your trees. I don't mind telling you that I have been gifted with a husband who has a preternatural affinity for the giving of gifts. Well, not to light my own bonfire, honey, but I do feel skilled in some. such arenas. I feel as though when I meet a person, I somehow know the perfect gift for them to receive. I remember you gave Jim Tucker's wife that needle points that one year.

Oh, that was a good one. She had never pointed a needle in her life and didn't know what to make of it all, but then, in the coming year, she really took to it. And now their house is filled with all sorts of hoops and linens. Much to the chagrin of Jim Tucker, but if y'all know Jim Tucker, that man ain't nothing but chagrin. chagrin. Jim, if you're listening, I apologize, and I celebrate the life that God has given you. Of course. But stop being a grumpus. You have a lovely wife. Honey? I apologize, and I digress, because I was talking about my husband's gift-giving abilities. Y'all, there are so many presents under that tree, and I just have no idea what they are.

Well, I really have sailed out over the yard arm on this particular season. It's going to be quite a Christmas morning. But, now, we have been given a ourselves a gift all year, haven't we, dearest? That is true. Y'all, this year, we have been subscribing to magazines. Born out of necessity, of course. Indeed. I mean, if y'all don't know, well, I'm like my own bonfire now, this entire contraption that we are speaking into was actually built by yours truly. Yes, as with my gift for the giving of gifts, you. You're You seem to have quite the affinity for the various ephemera of radio technology. Y'all, when you hold something in your hands and you know what to do with it without even reading a book,

don't you know that's the Lord talking to you? I came home one day to the whole study strewn with all sorts of tubes and wires. He thought I'd gone around to bed, y'all, truly. But then a few months later, I had it all sorted. So we thought it important that Effie stay abreast of this, strange new world of the airwaves that we had found ourselves in. And if you're in the know, the best way to stay in the know is with a subscription to popular radio magazine.

Yes. Now, I always know when a new issue has arrived because you are nowhere to be found. That is correct. I am deep in it, y'all. But what had happened was is that Zebulon was feeling a little left out not having his own magazine. Well, I will admit to the jealousy, yes. So, I surprised him with a subscription to something called Adventure Magazine. Yes, you did, honey.

And I spend as much time with that Adventure magazine as I do with the scripture. Yes, you do. Stories of pirates and cowboys adventuring in the jungles of Panama. Every issue has to be flung to all corners of the globe. You can hear it. him in the house, read the lines out loud to himself sometimes? Can you? Yes, dear.

Sometimes I'm at the pig drop and I can hear you in the house. Oh, my. But then, we went even further. We went and got that subscription to that Life magazine. Oh, yes, and I don't mind telling you, I am amazed at what people get up to all around this world. There is a race that they have every year over in England where they roll a round of cheese down a hill and then everybody chases after it. You know what they get if they win?

Cheese? The cheese. They get the cheese if they win. Just make some cheese y'all. Don't risk life and limb barreling down a hill. The photos are quite humorous. They do look ridiculous, don't they? They do. Like there's a gold bar inside that cheese? Oh, you know what we should do? What's that? There is an article in the new newest issue that I want to read to y'all. Hold on. It is about how people are celebrating Christmas all the world. You're just not going to believe some of it. Oh, here it is. So, over in Finland on Christmas morning, everybody has porridge, but it's made of rice. And then at night, because it gets real cold there, the whole family gets in a sauna. A sauna is like a shed, and you've got to put hot rocks in it, so it gets real hot in there, and everyone sweats a whole bunch. Interesting Nearby in Denmark Their Christmas is a lot like ours

But they put their tree in the middle of the room And everyone dances around it singing Christmas carols That's nice You know That I don't think much about Is that when it's winter in Arkansas And the weather's real bad It helps if I remember that it ain't winter everywhere

And if you go down south long enough You can find yourself in a place where it's summer Right now like on the island of New Zealand. They celebrate Christmas right in the middle of summer by having an outdoor cookout with all kinds of lobsters and fancy things. I'd never thought about that. I suppose it must be summer somewhere.

Oh, oh. In Czechoslovakia, they have a tradition of eating carp on Christmas Eve. But before they eat the carp, they keep them alive in their bathtub for a few days. They say that the scales bring them luck. I don't like that one. Yes, I'm unclear how such a thing becomes a tradition. But in Greece, they put their Christmas trees on boats. And down in Mexico way, they have parties all night

and then have Holy Mass when the clock strikes midnight. In Spain, they... Oh, my, what do they do in Spain? Hold on. Well, they take a big hollowed out look. log, dear, and they put a face on it, and they call it Cogatillo. All the presents go inside the log, and then the whole family beats the log with sticks until this character named Cagatillo defecates the presents onto the floor.

I, well, how does... Well, it's still better than a fish in the bathtub. Yes, true. Anyhow, y'all, we've been enjoying our magazines this year, and if you think that makes us too fancy, well, then your name is probably just... Tim Tucker, and you wouldn't like what we're doing anyhow. And I apologize Jim Tucker. I celebrate the light that God had given you.

And I have reached the end of my glass, dear, and I'm not yet done celebrating the baby Jesus. So how about a little reading for those that listen? Well, there is a certain something that can only be read around this time of year, so perhaps we shall indulge ourselves. That sounds real nice, dearest. I love you so much. Yes, and I love you, my dear.

I love it when you read your little things over the radio. So I begin. Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care. And finally, in our prelude section, we have something that we are calling office hours. Now, throughout the show, your favorite theoretical physicist and mine, Ava, Dr. Ava, she's trying to unravel the mysteries of the diner, and in doing so unravel the mystery of just about everything. And we don't talk much about how she got on that trail and how she got on that journey, because it all started with a key moment with a friend of hers back when she was a university professor.

And so we put together this piece. It's called Office Hours. I hope you enjoy it. Here we go. No one uses landlines anymore. So what's going on here? Oh, hi. With the dean? Okay. Sure. Yeah, I have that free. I'll see you then.

And Sue, you may want to politely remind the dean that he doesn't like me and that his day will be a lot more pleasant if he doesn't meet with me later today. Okay? Of course, it won't work. but hope springs eternal okay bye-bye strongly consider your choices

hey doctor can we talk for two hours about how I think the universe is a hologram oh fuck you how are things since you're not one of my students things are going better you know there's a whole group of them that gather by the statue after your class how do you know they're mine the permanent tear streaks on Their faces is a dead giveaway.

That's not fair. I'm not mean. You're not, but there are no tough guy scientists anymore. Were there ever tough guy scientists? Tico Brahe. Old brass nose himself. The first and last of the science tough guys. Kepler got his mom acquitted of witchcraft.

That's pretty tough. That's not the same as losing your nose in a sword fight. Didn't he also have a pet moose? He did. He had a pet moose that died when it fell down the stairs after he had gotten it drunk. He also had a court jester named Dieppe that he insisted was clairvoyant.

He was also rich and was the first to observe a supernova. What's a girl to do when she finds out her ideal man died hundreds of years ago? Your children would have been so beautiful. So what are you doing here? Don't you have class right now? Sudden schedule change.

Good. We can scare away my students together then. Oh, hey, speaking of Sudden, the dean wants to meet with me today all of a sudden. Really? Yes, really looking forward to that. We love each other. Really looking forward to getting stared down by that portrait of Ezra Cornell on his wall. I hate that thing. The eyes follow you.

So, what's going on? I need to... I need to call an emergency meeting of the ladies scientists of Cornell University. Well, let's see. Is everyone here? Oh, wait. That's just us. We have a quorum. Please proceed. What's wrong? You know that woman in academia feeling where you're just waiting for the other shoe to drop? Yes, I do. I have been shooed.

Oh, God. What's happened? It's a funny story. I'm sure it's hilarious. I'm pretty sure you're meeting with the dean is about picking up. some slack while they find an ad interim head of astrophysics. They're firing you? Yes. Sort of. I don't actually know what they're going to do yet, but it's going to be whatever you do when you fire someone with tenure. You can't fire someone with tenure. Right, but they can nail me shut in a pine box, academically speaking. They're going to do whatever

they can, and they can do a lot. On what fucking grounds? Well, I'm sure they'll say something about my lack of publishing, something like that. I've read all your publishing. You read my drafts. Yes? They're great. Thank you. I think so too.

Then what the hell? Well, there is that pesky step of actually submitting things for review. Pesky step. Yes. How much have you submitted? I'm going to say none. None? None.

Roughly. Zero is a hard number. You can't say roughly zero. Well, it's zero. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. That's fine.

That's fine. Start the process right now. Start the process, and when they try to put you in the pine box, you just say you're in the process. And I've been sleeping with the dean's wife. You... So... I'm going to need you to rewind your story a little bit. Right.

Right. Well, we met two years ago at a function. Oh, no, no, no, no. No. No. A little further back, please? So I'm a lesbian. Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm a private person. I have seen you date men. Nobody's perfect. Jesus Christ, Marguerite.

I apologize. The dean's wife. She's actually a lovely person. I hope so. I kept getting curiously invited to functions when the other professor. weren't, she sent the initial signals. Oh, you poor thing. You were an innocent victim. I really am, Ava. What should I have done?

Not sleep with a married person? Also, not sleep with a person married to your boss. Marriage doesn't mean anything to me. I'm French. You're from Colorado. I mean, my ancestor. He is going to form a posse and run you out of town. I know. He knows everyone in academia.

Yes. He's going to ruin you. I know Fuck Well Drink your drink You total stranger to me Okay

Another please I'm sorry I didn't tell you We've been working together for seven years Yes You're right down the hall You're the only person I don't want to murder It's an easy thing to miss We both had our heads down in our work

You've had your head down in something You never asked either, by the way. Yes, because asking a colleague their sexual orientation in an academic setting could never cause any problem. You could have asked leading questions. It is not my job to Encyclopedia Brown your sexuality. Fine, okay. I can't believe you didn't publish any of the things I read. I know.

It's not getting published now. No. But here's the thing. There's a reason why I didn't think. publish them. It's actually the main reason I'm here. What are you talking about? What is this? Oh, uh, also these two flash drives. What is this? I haven't seen any of this. That's the reason I didn't publish. That's what I've really been working on. I haven't been publishing because everything in these notes and those two flash drives disproves everything I would have published. In fact, it disproves,

It disproves most things, Eva. What are you talking about? It wasn't a big bang. Keep talking? If you watch the first three acts of Hamlet, it's about a guy who never does anything, but loves to talk about doing something. Not a great story.

You really need those last two acts. Okay. We're in Act 3 of the universe, the beginning of Act 3 even. We think we know the end by looking at the beginning, but it's a more interesting story than that. Who in their right mind would watch the first half of Hamlet and assume he's just going to keep doing the same thing over and over again? So then, how does it end?

It doesn't. The lights fade. and the curtain lowers, and then we do it all again tomorrow for a different audience. You've been working on the big bounce theory? Secretly. On my own, since college and quiet moments to myself. You know the quiet moments when you're post-coital with the dean's wife? Are you serious about this? Yes, look, I know I'm kind of a goofball most of the last.

the time. I forget things. I don't take things seriously that everyone else does. I miss important parties. I don't read enough journals. I hardly ever get my oil changed in my car. I kind of blow off most normal human things. You've seen it happen. But as it turns out, there's a reason for that because everything in those notes and those flash drives tells me that everything we've been doing is wrong. How do you take your work seriously when you feel that at its core it's fundamentally flawed? Marguerite, this would change everything. I know. If you're right, then people have to know about this. They won't.

What? Don't play dumb with me. I'm not. No one's going to listen to me. Maybe a hundred years from now someone will find my notes and realize that a nutty professor from Cornell was right all along, but it'll just be a footnote. I'll just be another right after the fact scientist. It's not enough to be right. People have to believe that you're the kind of person that can be right. Nobody thinks that about me. Not even you. Look at you. You think I'm crazy. No, I don't. A little bit?

Maybe a little bit. but you seriously think that the Big Bang didn't happen? No, it happened. It just isn't what we think it is. We're not spiraling toward the total heat death of the universe. We're just halfway through a long and beautiful story, one that will be told over and over again for eternity. Everything in the universe condensed to a single point and then boom,

the universe is created. then after billions of years it slowly comes back together again and collapses in on itself down to that single point then boom and we do it all over again and you've proven this i have for me i have decided to now leave it on your desk and make it your problem astrophysics isn't even my field i know but i'm not going to give it to one of the fucking idiots down the hall. You're just going to leave me with a mess. No. I'm leaving you with something you've been looking for. What do you mean? And those notes is a new draft of the universe. In my universe, things make sense that didn't make sense before. Like what? Like your big secret, Eva. Like, let's say, you're a theoretical

physicist who keeps telling people that she's discovered a single point of null entropy and the universe. In the current model of the universe, a single point of null entropy is impossible. In my model of the universe, it makes complete sense. And you still didn't tell me? My world fits perfectly into yours and you said nothing. Remember when I first started here and you hated me? Yes. I kept saying, let's go get a drink. I kept saying, there's a free concert on the grass. Let's go check it out. Every time you would move your office, I would help you move without you asking, and it would really annoy you. I remember. Considering these new revelations about me, does all of that maybe make a little

more sense now? I tried to convince you a while back that our worlds fit together, but you weren't listening. So I kept it to myself, maybe a little bit out of spite. And I'm saying, and I'm Sorry about that, too. I have to go. The Dean's wife is waiting for me on my couch. Oh, my God. He thinks she's staying at her sisters, but she's not staying at her sister's sister. She's staying with me. Are you out of your mind? Hey, I'm not going to be a pariah and single. Well, tell her I said hi. I will. So will you call me when you've gone through all that? Yes, I will, but I don't know what to do with it all regardless. Ava, look around.

It's our universe. They just don't know it yet. Call me soon. Okay. Listen, I know the dean needs to meet with me, but I'm afraid we're going to have to do it first thing Monday. I know. He'll be upset, but something's come up.

It's an emergency. Yeah, I'm sure he'll get over it. Okay. Midnight Burger is made possible in part by our Monte Cristo level and above supporters. Wilson, Billy, Bertbert, Bethany, Second Bethany, Sparker, Milo loves mycelium, Sarah Freckles Zoe Georgina Marsh, the Art Sherpa, Lucrezia, The Waiting Pool Pirates, Mel Momberg, Kingpin, Miss Chris, Still Making Sandwiches, Kurt Bartnick, D.5, Nicole Colangelo, Goggles Galad, Stevie Morley, Rogue, Kenny, Adrian Ramirez, Schnugens, Stephen Robin Poole, Pathos, Andrea Strick, Sir Cat Dad, Chancho Villa, Justine Burbank, Pici Zetuiti, Disco Funk Slinger, Edgy Steve, Quilandis, Alice Malice, Todd Van Voris, Thomas Stolen, Michael Christian, Tarvae Stormbringer, Magnificent Hogbeast, Brockowain, Theo Alex Deen, Purple Saline, Antigney, Antigney, Antigney,

Gen C. Leah B. Blargo, Blargo, Blargo. Onyx Rose. Turlington Beascoat. Whitney Bliss. Tamara Oliver. Jackie Wavelet. Marissa. Maggie's Yarm. Erin Mitchell. Raven the Necoe. Melvis Gray Mystery. O'M Valesquez. John Doe. Ruth McCormick. Stuck in Dirklahoma. It's Just Blake. Dancing Dog Dreams. J.R. the Hiker Bear. Menloor. Tracy. Colibri. Nate. Three, L. Legs are perfectly good. Hippo. Malaran. Mruen My Salil. Kara. Late Indeed again. Ian Hurtzler. Mother of Thor. Entenomily. Special K. Ryan Abbey. Captain Blep. Sarah Bergenholtz. Zaki Nat. Naya. Anna. Ben and Jessica. Levi. Dalek Steve, Darcy D. And Existentially Exhausted Being. A new horror anthology hosted by me, Madam Maginda. We begin with the five-part miniseries Ghosted, starring Beth Eyre and Lucy Roslyn. Perched on a rain-battered cliff edge is a former lighthouse. It's a charming, quirky boutique hotel.

Owner and sole occupant Beth has spent months renovating, absorbing its essence into her bones. It's an old building. You'll get used to it. But to Beth's horror, her first guest is a figure from a past she has tried to forget. Kira? Beth? What the fuck? Face to face for the first time in years,

the pair must reckon with old mistakes, old grievances. Beth, speak to me. Shut up, shut up, shut up. And something else. Oh, I can't bear it. What is that noise? Because the lighthouse has a past, too. Beth, he's right there.

Why is there blood on your hands? We need to get out of here. Kira. Kira! I can still see him! to Magenta Presents wherever you listen to podcasts. See you soon, fans of the esoteric. Bye!

Magenta Presents.