Midnight Burger - Our New Talk Show Hwat!? Weekly!

Episode Date: March 4, 2025

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Hello everyone, it's Joe. So the season finale is one week away. We really hope you enjoy it. Now, when the hiatus hits and you feel the gnawing void of no more episodes until later this year, we wanted to let you know about a little talk show that we started doing, and it's called What Weekly? All right, here's what happened. Remember when that crowd strike thing happened and everybody for a week was stuck at the airport for days on end, and it was a total nightmare for the entire country? you guys remember that, right? Okay. At the end of that week, when all of that was going on, Finley, our co-producer, she emerged from her studio and I said, hey, isn't it crazy about this crowd strike business? The entire nation is paralyzed. And she said, what are you talking about? Because here's

the thing, you guys, Finley is a workaholic. She can't stop. And she misses a lot, like throughout the week. And so I'm always having to update her on all the things that happened. And so we decided to turn that into a show because, truth be told, the only way I can get her to hang out with me is if I turn it into work somehow. So the show is called HWAT Weekly. We do it every week. You can find it just to type HWAT Weekly into your pod finder thingy that you use or just go to whatweekly.com and you can check it out. Hopefully it will help you get through this incredibly dark time of no new episodes for a minute. Now, of course, if you want it a week earlier and without ads, you can go to the Midnight Burger Patreon. You can subscribe there, get all of the myriad other things that are

included in the Midnight Burger Patreon, but this is available to the general public, so come on by, it's a hoot. So again, it's called What Weekly, HWAT Weekly, and you can get it anywhere. You get your podcasts except for YouTube because we haven't put it on YouTube yet, because YouTube's kind of pain in the ass, guys, okay? But we'll get around to it, I promise. Anyway, please enjoy a sample episode. This is the second episode we ever did. It was back during the days of Moodang. Remember the days of Moodang, everyone? It was a simpler time. Anyway, please enjoy and please enjoy the season finale next week. And again, thank you for listening to Midnight Burger and all of the other things we do as well. All right. We'll be out there somewhere looking for you.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to O'HWAT Weekly. My name is Joe Fisher, and I am here with my co-producer and partner in Loif. Finley Stevenson, how are you doing, honey? I'm doing well. Good, folks. If you didn't catch it last time, here's what this is about. See, Finley Stevenson, she's a workaholic. She's a very busy woman and spends all week in her workhole. It's true.

And so what I do is I, all week long, collect items of interesting things that have happened in the past week to share with her. Because I miss them. Because she missed them on this show called What Weekly. We're so glad that you're here. but mostly I'm glad that you're here, honey, because then it would just be me talking to myself again. And telling yourself things you already know. Exactly. I already know these things.

I don't need to tell them to myself. Luckily, you're here. And I do need to learn them because I have been talking to myself in this tiny closet for a week. And now is the time for that to end, temporarily, and then go right back to doing it again. Tell me everything. Honey, I'm going to start with some celebrity news. A little celebrity news, okay? Some news about celebs.

Celebs all over the world. I want to tell you about it. There's a celebrity. There's a new hot celebrity out there, setting the world on fire. Wow. All right. She's from Thailand. Okay.

Her name is Mudang. Moodang. And her life has been ruined by becoming a celebrity. Oh, no. And it's super great. Okay. People are swarming Mudang to get pictures with Mudang. They are sometimes throwing things at Moudang when she is asleep so that she will wake up and the picture will be better.

That's terrible. There's more security around Moodang now. Yeah, sure. Moodang is a hippopotamus in a zoo in Thailand. Moodang is a baby pygmy hippopotamus. Oh my goodness. I was wondering why they were sleeping in public. So this is helpful.

It did make the story a little strange. Now, of course, you are typing in and you're going to look at a picture of Moondack. Look at this tiny baby hippo. Oh, my gosh. She's so cute. Super cute. Super cute. Maybe the cutest thing just crushing it in the cutest game.

People, yes, that has been happening. People have been breaking into her enclosure trying to get like a selfie with like, what's up, Mudang? Snap. Then throwing things at Mudang to wake up, Mudang. It has become a real big. problem. But, you know, you get it because you look at those pictures of mu-dang and you think, dang.

M-Dang. Dang, mu-dang. What makes it better is that mu-dang means, I think it means like bouncing, bouncy pig is what mu-dang means. Oh, I love it. The thing is bouncy pig is just the name of a dish in Thailand. You like, you order it. You order some mu-dang. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Which is not grim somehow. It's like when you call someone a little. little musho pork. There's something like that. It's very cute. I mean, there's dumpling, right? Anyway, what I'm, yes, dumpling.

What I'm saying is, cuteness comes at a cost. When you're that adorable, shit's going to go down. And it's unfortunate. It just, she makes people lose their fucking minds, apparently, in Thailand. Everybody out there,

stop throwing things at Mudang. She just needs to live her life. She just needs to live her life, everybody. Tiny baby, Hi, hippo life. Tiny, so small. Oh, yeah, she's so cute. Just like carrying size, you know, no, no. Yeah. Like a traveler hippo. You know what I mean? Like, this is a pocket hippo that you take with you on little trips. Yeah. When you don't want to take the whole hippo with you, right? Right. Yeah. Anyway, shout out to Mudang. She's doing a great job. Good job, Mudang. Everybody else needs to just, okay? Yeah, back off from Mudang. Let Mudang live her hippopotamus life. Look at those little ears. Yeah. Exactly.

Wow. In other celebrity news, James Earl Jones passed away, which I'm sure you heard about that. I did hear about that sad news. I personally, when a celebrity dies after having a pretty cool life in their 90s, I'm like, you did it. Congratulations. Like, there's not a lot of sadness for me in that moment because I feel like they crushed it. They did a great job. Awesome.

Yeah. Got me thinking probably the most voice famous person. You know what I mean? Like a person famous for their voice specifically. Sure, sure, yeah. Like he was famous, like great actor, Broadway, you know, fantastic movies that he did, stuff like that. But his voice was famous, you know what I mean? Which is rare, I think, for a voice to be famous.

And it did get me thinking, like, if Darth Vader did not have James Earl Jones's voice, I feel like I would be watching Star Wars and I would just be like, the fuck is this guy wearing? Yeah. This guy looks ridiculous. He's got like some sort of weird, football helmet on and his face is like the outtake

valve for your like a vacuum. Yeah, I think maybe if Darth Vader did not have James Earl Jones's voice it would be like space balls. Like that's what

Star Wars would feel like. But he had that voice and he would be like damn this dude is terrifying. Yeah. I'm terrified of this man. 100%. So anyway, shout out to him. James Earl Jones.

Good job. James Earl Jones. Honey? Yeah. Australia. Yeah. Okay? Uh-huh. There it is down there.

Australia? It's full of two things. One, people. Sure. Some of the nicest people, frankly, you know, honestly, some of the nicest people I've ever met Australians when I was down there. Super, super nice people. Yeah. Two, animals.

A bunch of animals in Australia. Yeah. Animals in Australia fall into two particular categories, okay? category one, incredibly dangerous animals that will kill you instantly. Terrifying, yes. Terrifying dangerous animals. Category two, something that looks so ridiculous you can't believe that exists on the planet Earth. Like, those are the two Australian categories of animals that you have, right?

I agree. Well. Which one are we talking about? I want to tell you about one that's not around anymore. Okay. I want to tell you about Australia. I want to tell you about 50,000 years ago. Wow.

Okay. Uh-huh. 50,000 years ago, the animals were very different in Australia. Sure, sure. Yeah. They were just bigger. So you had big animals that could kill you, and then you had big animals that looked ridiculous like you look ridiculous.

I can't believe you're an ant. But they were just bigger, right? So you had like, we had like wombats that were like the size of a rhinoceros. Oh, they had giant wombats? Giant wombats. Also, monitor lizards the size of an alligator. You know what I mean? Wow.

Okay. They had like overly fat kangaroos apparently. And then also like something called a marsupial lion. What? Of course sounds like something that's going to kill you. Hold, please. Marsupial lion. Have a look at it.

Oh my goodness. Amazing. So to set the scene, that's where we're going. That's where I'm taking you back to. I'm taking you back to 50,000 years ago in Australia. All right. where things were also deadly and ridiculous, but bigger. Yeah, I'm ready.

Let's go. So I'm going to take you back to 1893. There's this guy. He's a paleontologist. He's digging around, and he finds the remains of a 50,000-year-old bird. And this bird is really, really, really, really big, right? Okay. But he can't find the skull.

Like the skull for the bird is, like, destroyed to the point where he can't really tell what the head of it looks like. Okay. And the assumption this whole time has been like this animal, it was basically an emu. Yes. Right? Because there's emos in Australia. So this animal was just like, was basically just a real big emu.

Right. Okay. Yeah. Well, honey, they have reconstructed the skull of this animal. And after they reconstructed the skull, they decided to give it the name giga goose. No. They did not. Because, honey, it is a six and a half.

Half foot tall 500 pound goose is what you're looking at. The Giga goose. The Australian Giga goose is what it is. And it's basically, it really does, it does not have an emu face. It really does have the face of that really is more similar to a goose. And it's a big, flightless 500 pound goose. It would kind of wade through the wetlands and eat fruits off of trees and things like that. Oh, my God.

Giggoose. Wow. Yeah. The funny thing is, because like 50,000 years ago, Aboriginals actually encountered this animal, right? Sure, yeah. 50,000 years ago. And even they called it an emu.

Like, their name for it was giant emu. But when you look at it, that is not an emu. I'm sorry, that is very definitively a giga goose. It is terrifying. It's terrifying. And also, because it's Australia, totally ridiculously. Yeah. And isn't that one?

Wow. Scientists do not know what happened. So he had a bunch of megafauna on Australia, and then they all got killed off by something. Yeah. Scientists still don't know what it was that killed off all the megafauna in Australia. The debate still rages to this day. But what they do know is that a lot of the things that died were either incredibly terrifying or completely ridiculous looking. And now we've added one more to the ranks, and that is, of course, the giga goose.

So welcome to the world. Welcome to history giga goose. Welcome to 50,000 years ago. Welcome to 50,000 years ago. Gigga goose. Giggoose. Giggoose. It just sounds like you're saying,

Gaggoose. That's really done with workshopping. Like, they've settled on that name. They've set, well, I think, no, it has like a Latin name, but the nickname is we're talking about the giga gase. Giggoose. Sure, sure, sure. Anyway, looking to the world.

Gaggagos. That's amazing. We're going to the Netherlands. I want to take you to the Netherlands right now. I would love to go to the Netherlands. I mean, I'm not literally taking you to the Netherlands. What's doing it? The news is taking us to the Netherlands.

One day, Netherlands. That one day, Netherlands. So there's been a, the first official test of Hyperloop has occurred in the Netherlands. Hyperloop? Hyperloop, honey. Have you heard of the Hyperloop? No, I have not. Here's how hyperlopes.

Let me see if I can get you to imagine it. Okay. Hyperloop is a train. Okay. Now I want you to take that train and I want you to put it in a tube. Okay. I mean like a subway? Hang on.

I'm not done. Okay. You're on the right track though. It's got to be a tube. Okay. But umpoh. All right. Train is in a tube.

Come with me on this journey. Train in a tube. I'm there. Train in a tube. You're going to. Then in this tube that now has this train in it, you're going to suck out all the oxygen. That sounds dangerous. There's no oxygen in this tube now.

Okay? Okay. And then, honey, you're going to use, you're going to levitate the train using the power of manganets. Magnetments. Magnet magnets. Magnets. You're going to use magnets to levitate the train in the air. Okay.

Like some sort of magic trick. And then you're going to use the power of the manganets to move the train forward. And you're going to slowly, you know, accelerate the train more and more and more. And then there you have it, the hyperloop. Okay. Okay. They did their first successful test of the hyperloop. Good for them.

In the Netherlands. Okay. Yeah. They're estimating that once they get it up to like their projected speed, this train is. is going to go about upwards of 450 miles an hour. Holy shit. Which is fast. That is very fast.

That is very fast. Now, right now, it's going about 18 miles an hour. Okay. So we're not quite ready yet. Not there yet. Okay? The first planes were very slow, honey. You know, and they didn't fly for long.

So they're working on the hyperloop. And they're saying it's going to be a revolution. for travel. And now you know me and you know how I feel because the fastest way you can travel these days is with a plane. And you hate it so much. There are a few things that I hate more than an aircraft, right? I can't think of any. So you'd think that I'd be excited about the hyperloop, but I got to say, it sucks. It kind of sucks. I kind of hate it. I hate the idea. Well, because traveling by train is super dope. Yes. And this takes the fun out of that. It kind of takes the fun out of any of the train stuff.

And also, when I imagine traveling in a train, I don't imagine traveling through a giant tube the entire way to where I'm going. Being pulled by magnets. I would be pulled by magnets across the landscape. And, you know, it's like, I mean, I'm assuming they can figure out some way for you to, like, have a view of the landscape as you're going through it. Oh, so it's not like a tunnel. It's like an above ground tube. Maybe it can be clear somehow so you can see what's going by. So you can view the tulips.

That would be ideal anyway. At the same time, I'm passing it 450 miles an hour. I'm not going to see anything. That would look so terrifying. I wouldn't want to see it. Yeah, I don't want to see how fast I'm going when I'm like right next to the thing. No, that's true. You know what I mean?

Uh-huh. So it's revolutionary and everything because you're literally levitating a train. And that is crazy that that is even possible. At the same time, it's like, I don't know, I feel like part of the fun of traveling by train is that it's a little slow. It's that it's a train. Yeah. Slow down a little bit. Yeah.

And now you're just going so fast on land. It doesn't feel natural or normal. Yeah. You know what I mean? I mean, flying doesn't feel natural or normal. But I don't know. the vibes are off for me for Hyperloop right now. It is a lot.

Also, how big is the Netherlands? Like, if you're going 400 miles an hour, how long does it take you? This is an important point. To hit the water or whatever's in the other direction. I don't think it's meant to, like, commute into the city. I think Hyperloop is more about you want to get to London by, like, lunchtime or something like that. So they're going to put that tube above the water? I guess they're putting it.

I mean, I hope so. Or they're just going to, like, put that straw into the water and just like shoot you through it. I don't know, man. See, the whole thing makes me uncomfortable, as I'm sure you can tell. Yeah, I get it. I guess people want to get places real fast. So fast. So fast, though.

I mean, there's no emissions, right? Because it's all magnets. And so that's good. Unless it's the emissions of the power plant that's powering the thing. So you've got to make sure your power plant's clean. Right. Also, how much emissions are there in producing these magnets? That's another question.

Yes. There's a lot of questions out there. Anyway, they're testing out the hyperloop. It's going the way that it's going. But we're at 18 miles. So we can maybe see how it pans out. I mean, if it was 18 miles of the view is nice. I would be like, cool.

Yeah. Put it around Disneyland. Sure. You know what I mean? Let me just kind of view slowly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Slow loop, you know, not Hyperloop. Nader Disney.

Yeah. Give me a slow loop. Yeah. Anyway, we'll see how that goes, but just wanted to let you know, first successful test of Hyperloop happened. Congratulations, the Netherlands. Yes. So, here's something. Yeah.

Phonemes. Yeah. Okay? Mm-hmm. You're familiar with what phonemes are. Sure. Because you, like James, Earl Jones, are a voice, or voice famous, right? I don't think I'm quite voice famous.

Voice famous person is what you are. I do look up words for a living. Yes, you do. Over on Richard Ruter's blog, Richard Ruter is a guy who's like, he's like a style and typography sort of luminary in the internet world. You know what I mean? And he was upset because there used to be, on Wikipedia, a list of. pangrams. There's a list of all of the words that contained every letter of the alphabet.

So sentences that contained every letter of the alphabet. Those were all pangrams. Yeah. What he also had on there was a list of like phonetic pangrams. So sentences that had all of the phonemes for English in one sentence. Okay. And I have them here. And so I thought since you are a voice celebrity, that I would get like a professional job done on these phonetic pangrams.

Oh, dear. So I'm going to, I'll send these over to you one at a time. And I would like a very professional reading of these phonetic pangrams. All right. I'll do my best. All right. I have sent you the first phonetic pangram. If you could please give me your, you know, in honor of James Earl Jones.

Let's hear it, honey. RIP. Okay. RIP. With tenure, Susie'd have all the more leisure for yachting, but her publications are no good. And that there is the English language in a nutshell, phonetically speaking. That has every sound. In English in it?

Every sound you can possibly make. Yes. How did this guy make money? This is just like the guy. He's a designer. This is just like his, this is like a fun thing he did one time. This is his crossword puzzles.

All right. Here we go. There's another one. Here we go. Let's see it. Here we go. Okay. Here we go.

Professional. Shaw. Those 12 beige hooks are joined if I patch a young, gooey mouth. Excellent. Every sound in the English language is in that sense. believe it or not. That one makes me uncomfortable that sentence.

I don't like it at all. It's very Nabokov, you know what I mean? It's very like, my redire. It's upsetting. No, no, I don't like it either. It's an upset. It is upsetting. All right, let me see another one here. All right, here we go.

Phonetic pangram number three. Here we go. Okay. Here we go. Are those shy Eurasians? footwear, cowboy chaps, or jolly earth-moving headgear. What? Please answer my question.

This is for real the sentences that you get in duolingo. You know what is going on in these foreign countries? They're asking me about my Eurasian headware. So this dude just sat around making these sentences up? No, he didn't make these up. These were standard. These are standard phonetic pangrams. But he wrote them.

No, he didn't write them. No, he collected these. And then he, because see, they took them off Wikipedia and he was upset about it. So he put them up on his blog and now they're here for all of us to enjoy. Like, for instance, when I send you our final phonetic pangram, I would like a very professional reading of this, please. The beige hue on the waters of the Loch impressed all, including the French. Queen before she heard that symphony again just as young Arthur wanted. Every sound you could possibly make, apparently, in the English language, is in that sentence.

That's quite something. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. I mean, why, but also great job. All right. So yes, that came, that came across my path this week, and I thought that that's I think that you should know about literally for no reason whatsoever. I think I just wanted to hear you read those sentences. Well, I hope I didn't disappoint because I am not James Earl Jones. These things come up in the week and it was like, hey, it would be really great if she read these. And then I would walk into the bedroom and the door to the office would be closed and I'd be like, oh. Oh, no.

But now, because of my favorite show and yours, Quat Weekly, I can now get you, I can now get you to do things. You can get me to do many things. Yes. Well, speaking of being in this hole. Yes. All the time. And I did mention that I do look up words. Yes, you do.

For a lot of the time. I also learned something this week that I would like to share with you. Oh, you're going to share something with me this week. Okay. I mean, I don't know that it applies to current events, but maybe it does exactly as much as all the rest of these things. In that I currently. How dare you besmirch the giga goose like that, honey? I'm so mad about that.

Dude, I'm so excited to know that this giga goose exists. Are you kidding? Giggoose. I'm going to talk about nothing else at the next party I go to. It's going to be giga goose all night long. All right. What is the thing you learned? The thing that I learned this week is that in Iceland, our future home country of Iceland,

they have a museum of Icelandic sorcery and witchcraft. Really? Which is pretty awesome. A museum of it. Yes. It's in Holmavik, Iceland. Okay. So that led me, of course, down the rabbit hole of 17th century Icelandic sorcery.

Nice. That's great. Because, why not? I bet they had a dope sorcery in 17th century Iceland. I bet it was crazy. What's interesting about it is that, I mean, like, this is, you know, roughly at the same time as, like, witchy things are happening in other places, right? Witchy things happen all over the place, yeah, sure. And primarily, when you think of these things, you think of, like, which is being burned or drowned or whatever, and it's women.

Right. Right. But most of the sorcery in Iceland apparently was done by men, okay? Really? Yeah. So there's one particular ritual that caught my attention. Okay. And so today I would like to share with you what I've learned about a thing called necropants.

Necropants? Necropants. Are these, I mean, just breaking down the word itself. Yes, that is what we're talking about. Dead people's pants. Nabrok or Nabuxur. Okay. which we have now called necropans.

Apparently there was a ritual for bringing unlimited wealth, right? You want to have unlimited money, always coming to you. Let's do it. You do the ritual of the necropans. Necropans. Here are the steps of this fascinating ritual for unlimited wealth. Step one. Step one is that you make a pact with your friend.

Great. Okay. And any pact at all? No, no, it's a very special certain pact that you make with your friend. Which is that. We're going Dutch on necropants. We're going Dutch on necropants. And who knows which one of us is going to end up with them?

Because the first part of the pact is that the friend has to die of natural causes. Okay, so wait. What? Hang on. Okay, so the friend you make the pact with. Yes. When they die of natural causes, that's when they die of natural causes, that's when they the necropants go into effect? That's when this begins. Okay, so they have to die of natural causes and they have to be buried.

They have to die of natural causes and be buried. That is step one. So this is step one. So step one is like, whoever survives gets the power of the necropants. Yeah. I mean, I suppose it could be one-sided. Like, listen, man, I'm not into this. But if I die and you want to- Sure. It's like buying life insurance. Go through with your ritual. Have fun. Okay. Sure. Okay. So that's step one. Great. Yeah. They have to die of natural causes and then be buried. Step two of this ritual is they dig up the body. Okay. Okay. All right. How long do they, is there a waiting period? Like, I don't know. I don't know the answer. I don't know if it can just be fresh. I would assume for what's coming next, you would probably want this body to be as fresh as possible. Oh, Lordy. All right. Because after you dig them up, uh-huh. You just skin the lower half of their body. Hey!

No big deal, right? It's those kinds of pants. But you have to do it cleanly, and you can't have any rips or holes or tears or anything, because that will ruin the magic, okay? So step one, die of natural causes, be buried. Step two, dig them up. Step three, skin yourself some skin pants. Skin, literally make pants of them.

Uh-huh. Oh, my God. Waste down. Skin pants. Iceland. Next. Next. There's a next.

You put on the skin pants. No, you don't. And they have to be against your bare skin. Oh. Okay? So you're going to put on the skin pants. But before you pull up these skin pants. Yeah.

Which I'm going to show you a picture of in a second. No, you're not going to. Yes, I am. No. Yes, I am. All right. So. You have to steal a coin from a destitute widow.

It's very specific, this ritual. You have to steal a coin from a destitute widow. Which seems pretty mean to do. Because they're not known for their coin having, the destitute widows. Yeah. They've already lost so much. Oh, my God. The destitute Icelandic widow, right?

Jesus. All right. So you steal the coin. You have to place the coin in a very specific place, which I'm going to tell you about in a second. But with that destitute widow's coin, you, on a piece of parchment, you draw an Icelandic magical stave or a sigil. Okay. Which I did not know existed until I started learning about this.

So you know how, like, in voodoo or voodon or whatever, they have the symbols. Sure. That are drawn in the dirt or in the blood or whatever that bring the rituals, right? So Iceland has a bunch of these. Wow. Okay. And there's a specific one for this ritual. That is called, please forgive me, Iceland. Nabro Carstaffer.

Okay. Okay. It's a really interesting, crazy, elaborate drawing. Here, I'm going to give you a little, because it doesn't look like pants, but it's real interesting. Oh, my God. All right. This is not the pants. This is just the, okay.

It's not. It's just a drawing. You're going to be fine. Yeah, that's like serious. That's like, you know, it's like the, we found where the serial killer lives. And in his home, he is drawing. on these all over the walls. Exactly right.

It has that vibe. Okay, great. So you put that on a little piece of paper. You take it, you put it with your widow's coin, and you put it in the scrotum of the skin pants. Hey, K. In, you just said, what you just said was. In the scrotum of the skin pants.

In the scrotum of the skin pants. That is what I said, because that is what you do if you want unlimited wealth. This is a prank. Someone pulled a prank on someone and became a thing that people. think thought was real. It's possible that this exists only in folklore, but this is some dope-ass folklore

that you're just not going to get over here. You're saying you have a picture of the skin pants, though. If it exists just in folklore, how do you have a picture of the skin pants? I have a picture from the museum, because remember, this is all started with the Museum of Witchcraft and Sorcery. Right. It's a replica, I think.

Like, not every picture that I've seen of it is marked as a But I believe it's replica. An artist's rendition of skin pants. An artist's rendition. Imagine approaching the artist's like, hey, so here's what we need. Hear me out. Here's what we need.

No, no, no. It's going to be great. Okay. All right. So you're sending me a picture of the artist's rendering of skin pants. Necropants. Are you ready? Here you go.

How is there not a death metal band called Necrop pants? I know, right? Here we go. All right, necropants. Oh, God, dude. What in the fuck. Jesus Christ. Those are some hairy-legged pants.

Right? All the way to the toes, man. You got to put on the whole suit. I mean, it's very exact. I don't need, like, you would need to be a professional, whatever you call it when you're skinning things. Whatever that profession is. Necropancer.

Necropancer. Necropancer. You got your necromancer. Mancer and you got your necropanser. That's right. They're cousins. They're cousins. That's disgusting and terrible. And I hate that it's in my brain now. I'm sorry, but I'm glad that I get to share it with you.

So as long as you wear these skin pants with the coin in the... In the scrotum. Stave in the scrotum, then that scrotum should continue to magically fill with coins as long as you're wearing the pants. Are you kidding me? No. So you've got to wear the pants the whole time. basically wearing skin, the legs on your legs is what you're wearing. You're wearing legs on your legs.

Up to the waist. So other things on your other things. Yeah. Good Lord. That's psych. You better pick a friend that's going to fit you, is what I'm saying. What am I buying in Iceland in the 17th century? There's nothing there to buy.

Whatever you want, man. I mean, I can't go to Nordstrom's. You know what I mean? I'm either, I mean, I'm buying whale tallow. Okay? Or I'm buying. You got to build your Viking Drachar. ship. I guess that's like, how do you get out of Iceland? Here's how you get out of Iceland.

Let me tell you about necropans. First up, a pact with your friend. If a friend said that to me, I don't care if I'm dead. I'd be like, of course you're not doing that to me. Go fuck yourself, Icelandia. No. Anyway, that's what I do in here. Listeners, do not Google this at all. I definitely Google it. You know what I brought, what I brought to Finland. What I brought to Finland, Today was Moodang. Adorable adorable Moodang.

And she bought me a fucking Icelandic nightmare. Dude, my pants were magic. Mudang ain't got no magic. What? How dare you? Mudang is nothing but magic. Anyway, well, thank you for that. Incredibly disturbing little, I can't, this is, the hilarious part is that that was your job this week.

That was part of your profession is to look up neckrofen. about necropants while being paid to research this book that I can't yet tell you about because it's a secret. Thumbs down on necropants, honey. I don't know.

It's pretty fascinating. All right. Well, listen. All right. Just, I want to end on a higher note here, so just a little boot right before the end, okay? Just a little boot? Just a little boot.

Tell me what you got. You know, something that happened this past week. Little good news. Okay, great. Europa Clipper, honey. Is it a boat? Okay? No, it's a space thing.

Cool. All right. This is happening. Okay. Europa Clipper, which is going to be a, they're going to send it to Europa. Okay. That is a moon of Jupiter. That is right.

Yes. And they're going to go there, you're going to find out a lot of cool things about Europa. Europa has got a lot of things that we want to know about it because Europa is like, it's ice, basically. But we think that there's an ocean underneath the ice. Right. And there may be a molten core underneath the ice. A molten core and an ocean. That is fascinating.

Which means that there would be warmth and there would be water, which means there could be like living stuff inside it. Yes. Right. Inside of the orb, there are living things. It's like a big aquarium out there. Inside of the orb? Inside of the orb. So that finally got the go ahead. this week.

Sweet. And so they're going to be able to send it out. And it's, here's the thing. Like, when you think, like, we're sending a probe to a planet, you're thinking, like, this is going to be like the size of a dishwasher. There's going to be a satellite dish on it and a camera. Yeah. And a solar panel, right?

Yeah. Your rope a clipper, 3.2 tons. Oh. Okay. 30 meters long. Whoa. Five meters tall. And it's going to go out there and it's going to do a whole bunch of science.

It's going to get there and it's going to do a whole bunch of science. April of 2030, assuming it doesn't explode in the atmosphere when we try and launch it. Yeah. But that got the go ahead. And so in 2030, we're going to get some really cool fucking pictures of Europa. That's exciting. So who made this? Who's responsible? Who gets the credit? NASA? NASA? Of course. NASA. Yeah, they made the Europa Clipper. They're going to load it onto one of the loaded onto a dragon rocket, I think, and they're going to fire it up there. They're just going to slingshot that shit right at Jupiter. Yeah, they're just going to pull back the big old rubber boom and go quatouang, and they're going to send it all the way out there. It's going to be very exciting.

I'm excited to see the pictures of Europa. I think it's going to be a good time. And I was desperate to bring in some news that was not necropants. You did it. And so now we have it. That's a great place to stop, I think. That's a great way to end the week. Well, honey, thank you for emerging.

Thank you, space. Thank you for emerging from your workhole for me to update you on what happened in the last week. Thank you for teaching me all of these things. And I now grant you a permission to go back in. Crawl back into the cave. Go back into the cave. Just you and your necropans. All right, folks.

Thank you for joining us for What Weekly. And we will see you next week. What Weekly is a production of Business Goose Media. If you come across a new story this week and you think Finley should know about it, please send us an email to HW. www.w at businessgoosemedia.com. See you next week. The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish.