Midnight Burger - Patreon Drop! Shift Notes Chapter 49: The Signal

Episode Date: October 27, 2026

Please enjoy this free sample of our exclusive content from our Patreon! Joe, Finlay, Neal, and Julie do a deep dive on "Chapter 49: The Signal" and take questions from subscribers! Subscribe for early access, ad free episodes, additional content and more! Subscribe on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/midnightburger Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midnight-burger/id1537653218 How about some merch? https://www.midnightburgermerch.com Read and search Scripts with PodScripts: https://podscripts.app/ Explore the Midnight Burger Wiki: https://wiki.weopenatsix.com/wiki/Main_Page For more information on our show, visit our website: https://www.weopenatsix.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello there, everyone. It's Joe coming to you with some very important audio drama news. The Harbingers has returned for season two. Now, we've discussed the Harbingers before. Just in case you don't remember, the Harbingers is a contemporary fantasy podcast about the first two real magicians of the modern era and how that power changes the world forever. This is a new fiction podcast from You Know Em, You Love Him, Gabrielle Urbina. who is the creator of Wolf 359. This is a really wonderful show if you haven't checked it out. If you like Battlestar Galactica, if you like the West Wing,

Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norell, Hamilton even. The Harbingers is a great show for you. There's magical rivals, there's political machinations, there's snappy dialogue, there's dreams of saving the world, which we could use a little bit more of these days. If you're into those things,

The Harbinger's is for you. And for you Midnight Burger fans, very important to note that the co-star of the show is the amazing Lauren Grace Thompson, who you all know as Young Bertbert. We're big fans of Lauren around here, and you'll be big fans of her over there as well. Season two just started, so get over there and check it out right now. It's a great, great show. You can listen to it wherever you find your podcasts,

and if you want to learn more about the Harbingers, you can go to audacious machine creative.com. Hi everyone, it's Joe. We are on hiatus right now, as you may or may not know, and when we're on hiatus, we do something called shift notes, which is an exhaustive deep dive into each episode with special guests from the cast and stuff like that, and it's a lot of fun. It goes way too long. We go down a million tangent, rabbit holes, but, you know, it's kind of become a tradition over on the Patreon. Another thing that's become a tradition is me sharing a free episode on our feed during hiatus. So I'm going to do that now. You know, uh, Neil and Julie Starboard, who play Effie and Zebulon Mucklewain. They came in as our special guests, and we all talked

about chapter 49, the signal. I hope you enjoy it. And of course, if you'd like to hear every episode of shift notes, you can subscribe to our Patreon at the $5 level and you get all of the shift notes from all of the seasons. And all of them are very long and honestly pretty ridiculous. You know, We like it. So I hope you enjoy. And we will be out there somewhere looking for you. All right. It's a countdown song.

Okay. You delete your emails. Yes. You just delete. A lot of them. A lot of them daily. Garbage. In the trash.

It's all garbage because if those people need to get in touch with me, they'll email me again. And get deleted twice. No, no, no, no. I know that if I see one from something like that could be important, I'll be like, okay, I've got to read this one. But like when I come back from vacation, which I just did, at work, Outlook, search by the date, received, select all delete. Delete, not even keeping them for archival purposes. No. Unless there's one, like, I sort to make sure.

I sort to make sure there's not one for my manager because I love my manager and he's a good guy. And like, I want to see what he has to say about shit. Sure. But like all the other shit in my inbox is bullshit. It's also because I'm in a shared inbox with our team that gets most of the due emails. I'm just talking about my inbox. But you also delete your personal emails. Yes, daily.

You're talking about like work emails. I was talking about your personal emails. Like, you know, we all get those Gmail prompts that we're almost out of, you know, storage and we need to buy storage. And what we actually do is... I'll be goddamn dead before I paid... We actually go through the exercise of going through all of our Google accounts and deleting files and everything.

I actually never has to do that because there's nothing stored. There's nothing in there. Here's my method. Open up the old Gmail inbox. It is a cesspool. There's too much shit. I already know that there are frequent offenders. So I'm like, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, tag, delete.

Then I go back through and I'm like, that's from my my chart. Maybe I need that. But everything else, delete. That's from my doctor. Right. What if that's an important email from West Elm, though? What if that West Elm email is important?

They will email me again multiple times on a Wednesday. Multiple times on a Wednesday. Wednesday. But I will say this. West Dell, multiple times on a Wednesday. The magic part. The magic part is thus, though, everybody, if you're paying attention. If you are like me and you like to delete your emails, here's how to get that extra

hit of dopamine. So you delete them all on a daily basis and then you go into your trash folder and you empty your entire trash folder and then you go into your spam folder and you empty your entire spam folder. Well, that does sound fun. What a steamy treat that is. It is amazing. It's just the inbox.

The cleanest baseboards on the internet. Yeah. Yeah. For real. He knows how I like it. No dust. Like that old witch and what was that one fucking gunslinger book? No, my God.

Please. That's one of those things in my mind that I can never get rid of and I hate it. Did you guys ever read that? Okay. Did you read the gunslinger book, the Dark Tower books, the Stephen King series? I did not read the Dark Tower books now. There's one of those books that is... I think it's called The Wizard and the Glass.

I think that's what I said earlier. Yes. I think it is two. Is it three or four? It's like a prequel? I think it's four. I think it's after the wastel. But it's like a kind of a prequel.

Okay. And those books are, you know, if I didn't play in fact... As an author, he's decided it's okay to play fast and loose with time and space and dimension. Here we go. I don't know where he gets off. Thank you. But it's like a prequel.

It's a prequel. there's, and a lot of it takes place in this, like, kind of like, you know, town and the society's kind of vaguely, I don't know, pre-hour technology level. But there's this woman, very Stephen King moment. There's this woman in this town. And this is just some very Stephen King ass shit. And she's not a very nice person, but she seems like a normally, you know, just unlikable person in a normal way.

But then it turns out that like, like once a week or something, she closes all her blinds and everything. And she gets down in the corners of her room and lick. her corners clean. She's obsessed with having the cleanest corners with having the corners of her house be clean. Right. See, Joe is reacting to this the same way. That's just a very Stephen

Kway as shit, right? I'll never forget it. Licks them? What? Licks them? How is that the clean? The reason why we know this. How's that the best way? No, no, no, no, it's not the best way. The reason why... The reason why we know this is because there's another woman in this town who has

powers and she has a glass and she likes to look into her glass to see everybody's greatest shame or the things that they hide from people. Wow. And so she's the one looking at bitch lick her corners. And it's like, I can't. I'm out. I'm out. But you know, it says Stephen King's shit of like, oh, otherwise normal seeming people are doing horrifying things behind closed doors.

Right. Don't like it. Gross. Although you are essentially, you're doing the equivalent of that in. With my email. This is what I'm saying. Yeah. In my emails I am.

You're looking in those corners. I am. I am licking the corners at that inbox. But feeling no shame. No shame. I will take everyone along with me. I will teach you. Come on.

Delete them all. It's all trash. None of it means anything. It doesn't mean anything. Doesn't mean anything, everyone. That's amazing. Okay. We're going to start with our hello at business goose.

Yay. Yeah. And delete everything. Start with all the press. We get press releases in our inbox about people who could be guests on our show. Wow. Have you gotten anybody really big yet? No, not at all.

It's like their book just came out about economics. And it's just like, got, like, they don't know that we're a fiction show. I heard Chuck Lohstrom-in was doing all the podcasts when he put on his football book. Did you get a prompt to? book Chuck Closterman on your podcast? We did not hear from Chuck Closterman's people now. We did not hear from the Klosterman people. But yes, get rid of lick the corners of all those.

That would be great, sure. I'm sorry I told you that. In fact, I didn't kneeled it. Yeah, it was kneeled. The wizard and the glass bit. Yeah, yeah, the corner licking bit. That was me. I don't talk about that with other people. I make literary references.

What can I say? Speaking of licking corners of things, shift notes. Here we are. Welcome to Ship Notes. We are here to lick the corners of this episode. Speak for yourself. That is fucking true, dude. Yeah, corners will be licked.

It's very exciting. I am here. Finley is here. Hello, honey. Hi, honey. Neil and Julie are here. Hello, Neil and Julie. Hi.

How are you? We are here once again doing yet another shift notes where we're going to be talking about Chapter 49. the signal. This was fucking great this episode. I had a great time.

It was a space, you know, it was a naval space battle. Yeah. So Neil, this is the one where you're in the ship and you fight that you do the space battle. Yes. Exactly.

Got it. Got it. Okay. For those of you listening, what Neil did just now is identify this episode by the sound that the ship makes when it's navigating with the air canisters because that's how Neal

operates. It's with the most random reference possible to identify something. It did the job. You both knew what you were talking about. We all knew what he meant. Yeah, over the years, we have all learned

how to read the signs from Neil. Have we? Have we? I'd like to keep up guessing. Mix it up. Mix it up. Yes, this is the psspsch,

the episode, Neil. Welcome to it. All right. I had a great time doing this episode. I was just, I was so excited about creating a villain who would eventually scream to the heavens, Zebulon. That was really the core of the entire episode. It was very excited about that. Yeah, very important.

So I'm glad. Finally, dream fulfilled finally. Yeah. Right. So thank you very much for being here, guys. We're going to have a dabadoo time. We have an ore flowing mailbag as usual. Time will be had.

I'm sure it's something. Times had. Thank you very much for writing in. Thank you very much for calling in, everyone. Before we begin any of that, something that we should do, is first we need to deliver a message to Ty. Hello, Ty, Ty. Hello, Ty.

Hi, it's your birthday. And we are, happy birthday, Ty. It's me, Joe, and Finley, and Neil and Julie. And we have heard through the various networks that it is your birthday, and that a birthday message from all of us would be a good thing. We don't know why that is,

but we're going to do it anyway. Okay, so, Ty, we say to you, we say unto you, happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. We hope you have a wonderful one.

We will be out there somewhere looking for you. Not literally. It's a figurative thing. Yeah. Okay. Sure. But regardless, happy birthday, Ty. In our subconscious, our astral forms are out there looking for us.

Exactly. Yes. On the astral plane out there looking for you, astrally speaking. Right. Only astraly. Only astraly. All right. Let's get into this.

Let's get into these questions. Let's get into the questions. Let's crack open the tin and get into the questions. I got my waiters on. Get your waiters on. We're going to wait in. We're going to. We're going to, you know, throw some crayfish into the basket on our hip or whatever.

Here we go. It's a style at the time. First question. Hello, Joe, Finley, and everyone. Literally everyone. I'm Mommy Watta Dark, and this is going to sound weird. And sorry if this has been answered somewhere else, but how old are Effie and Zebulon? I had always pictured them as being in their mid-50s, but I was re-listening to the show again.

And I realized that they were a lot younger than I thought. Way back in episode 27, Sebulon said he was born in 1895, and their radio program is from the 1920s, which would make them somewhere mid-20s, late 30s, since I don't want to go down a rabbit hole about military draft service and exemptions. Boy, that sounds like fun. Dude.

I'm going to say, I'm just going to say, good night here. Love you all. Love the show, and I can't wait for next season. Mommy, what a dark. Okay, so, yes, we're talking early 30s. for the original versions of Effie and Zebulon, Michael Wayne. However... I can blow in my mind. Our Effie and Zebulon are much older, right?

Because the blueprint was the 30-year-old versions of them, and then they have gone on from there, right? So the reason why they... Right. Where is as old as Casper is? Plus, however old we were, right? Right, exactly. So, yes, maybe the aged and... that you're sensing is the fact that they started that way, sure. But time has passed as apparently time does.

I've given this some thought, and I think that, you know, probably the correct answer is about yay old. Oh, my God. Yeah, old. About yay old. About yay old. Age, age, yay. Any time you ask Neil a quantitative question, he will say about yay blank. About yay.

He does it for everything. We've been married so long. By yay, many. By yay long? About yay long. About yay long. Yeah. Yeah.

About yay many. When he says it, I can see it. You know what I mean? I can see that measurement somehow. You know what I see when he says it? Red. No. No, no, no, no.

I see the napkin on which I once drew a diagram. because Neil asked that I draw the ways I could kick his ass. You said you could kick my ass. And I said diagram it for me and you did. And I did. You diagram the ways in which he's. Yeah. They both involved me taking him by surprise.

Duh. I have to. He outweighs me by a significant amount. One of them while he was asleep and one of them was while he was on the toilet. So I see that little napkin that I drew whenever he says about yay money. All right. Well, anyway, it's about yay regardless. Yeah.

They're about yay years old. Thank you very much for that question about yay years old. Here we go. Moving on. Hi, Angel, Finley, and Joe. Greetings from South Central Pennsylvania, USA. Shift notes is the reason I joined the Patreon. I just finished listening to Chapter 55.

I need to know what actually. accent Fee was doing in the historical documentary bit. It is so familiar to me. At first, I thought it was a Philly accent. My official guest is Long Island. Thanks for a midnight burger and welcome with Horizon Kara. All right. Julie?

Okay, so I didn't really have anything going for me when I was reading the script and I was just like, what if I did the most like terrible Long Island coffee tour kind of thing? What if I just did that? So that's what I did. So if it sounded like Philly, that's amazing. But really, I'm basing it on Linda Richmond. Okay. It's kind of the tri-state dialect, basically, is what we're going with in that particular.

Yeah, that's great. It was great. Bridging tunnel. It's a Bridget and tunnel. It's a Bridget Tunnel dialogue. But also, like, in the 50s. Yeah, kind of. In the 50s. Bridget and Tunnel in the 50s.

And it also, when he chose, when Neil chose the character that he was, going to do, it weirdly felt correct. It did feel correct. It was that they were intellectuals that had met at some conference or whatever and had like argued with each other but enjoyed kind of like bucking with each other. That's kind of the energy that it felt like to me. Yeah. So what I got was like he's some sort of retired colonel, right?

And then you are the only person in the field who can actually see. stand being around him. And together, you have created this show that is very popular on whatever TV it is playing on somewhere or out there. Right. And that's your dynamic. You know, the juxtaposition of those two people really became like groovy to me. I was really into it. But yeah, it just came out of desperation. That's the answer to the question. Sure. Desperation. Sometimes we make the best choices in desperation. Sometimes the worst, but sometimes the best. Yeah. Thank you very much for that question.

Kara? Hey, guys. This is Aaron. Or officially on the show, a tree called Aaron James Tyrone Barlow, the first of his name, which I love so much. I'm not sure if this question

has been asked before, but I've always been curious, what was the thought process behind having two Baptist pastors as integral characters in the podcast? As a Christian, I really enjoy Evian Zebulon because their messages are thoughtful,

respectful and line up with my beliefs. However, from what I've heard, you guys don't share those beliefs, so I'm curious. Thank you for the question, Aaron. Can you ask the question? Are they Baptist? Are they Baptist? Have we? They are Baptist, yes.

They are Baptist, yes. They're Baptist. Not Southern Baptist, but Baptist, yes. 100% not Papists. Yes, definitely not Papists. But we do the full dunk. We do the full dunk on the day. Yes, the full dunk on the day, yes, I believe is how we like to categorize the Baptist.

So, yes, Aaron, the reason for the, here's something that happens on a sci-fi show often. We're all science people. We're addressing a science problem. So you kind of, you end up a lot of the time with a lot of people having the same perspective and coming from the same world. And so I thought a great way to explore things would be to have people in the show that don't come from that perspective at all. And the sort of, Neil's having a moment. Having a moment, Neil? Are we, Councillor Troy?

No, no. I mean, but for real, though, but for real, though. A little bit for that. A little bit. Maybe a little. I mean, she does have a different perspective. Yeah, about yay. Use that correctly.

Correctly. Here we go. Points for yay. Points for yay, everybody. So that's basically why. Also, the show in general was like dealing with sort of primordial forces. And I think I've talked about this way, way back. But the idea of quantum physics.

being the sort of bubbly underbelly of all science and religion being this sort of trying to see into the face of God itself or cooking, honestly, because, you know, one of the few things that we have done since we became human beings is cook for ourselves and for each other. So it's a very primordial thing to me. And so throwing all those ideas together into one story, you, and seeing where they'll cross over is the reason for putting them all in one story like that. Different perspectives in sci-fi is fun. I also always felt that it was like Joe knows me and Neil and he knows we're from Arkansas, and he knows what we can do with our voices, like, if we really want to do it.

And y'all have heard Effie and Zeb. Like, we don't really talk like that normally. Like I have a little bit of a stronger accent than Neil, but I don't really go full y'all. You know, I just don't do that. So Joe knew what we could do, kind of. Yeah, for sure. So that's the reason why. Thank you very much for that question.

Aaron. From, okay, this I believe is from someone named Colonel McElwain who says, hey, love the pod, where did you get the mucklewain name from? And I think that that, honey, I think that was you, wasn't it? It was me. Yeah, you had Zebulon. I had Zebulon. And I think you had Effie and Zebulon.

Right. And then you said mucklewain? Mm-hmm. Okay. I don't know where it came from. I told you guys I looked this up, right? Yes. It means shit wagon.

It means shit wagon. I love it. It means literal shit wagon. Yeah, like muck out the horse stall and then an old English word for wagon is way in. Yeah. So muck away and shit wagon. And you know what? There's never been a more appropriate name for us.

The shit wagons. We're bringing the shit on the wagon, okay? That's right. The shit is upon the wagon and you have brought it. Absolutely. You look, I mean, when you find a good name, it's not our fault that it's snappy. You know what I'm saying? If it means shit wagon, it means shit wagon.

and it means shit wagon. Sorry. That's how it goes. Anyway, thank you very much, Colonel. Okay. From Kevin. If you could put your consciousness in any fictional vehicle slash device slash robot, what would you pick? Some examples, the Enterprise, for many Star Trek era, the TARDIS, Dr. Who, a light B, hard light hollow projector from Red Dwarf, a power rain Rangers Zord from Power Rangers are a transformer. Kevin's got some wild examples. First of all. Okay, so you're putting, yes.

You're putting your consciousness in any fictional vehicle device robot. What are you putting your consciousness in, would you say? I saw this question ahead of time and I will say I was surprised because my initial reaction was not like I wasn't sure that I wanted that at all because when I started thinking about potential options

I didn't really like the idea of it but if I really had to answer if I had to answer with something for sure the thing that seemed most attractive to me probably was one of the mindships from Ian Banks' culture novels.

If anyone's familiar with those? Is anybody currently on Mike familiar with Ian Banks' culture novels? No. No, I'm not. Is it something Tom Mormon got me into? Sure.

A friend of the show, Tom Mormon. Yeah, friend of the show. Tom Mormon, everybody. Shout out to Tom. In those books, It's a collection of books. Like, they're not series. They're not sequential.

They're not directly related to each other, but they all take place in the same universe. Anyway, and there's this thing called the culture, which is a, you know, a pie in the sky idea of what humans and artificial intelligence coexisting could look like. But as part of that, the ships, like the giant, you know, interstellar spaceships that people are on are also the largest, most powerful AI minds in the culture as well. So they're like these huge, you know, vast. vastly intelligent, star-spanning things. And that, it's, so to me it seems like the idea of being that kind of seems like being like a space whale. Right? Sure.

Like I'm just out there, like, well. Everybody loves a space whale. You know, that kind of thing. Yes. In the cosmos. In the cosmos, right. Okay. I think my choice came down to spite.

And, yeah. And I have to admit that my first instinct was Godzilla. Like Meca Godzilla. Yeah, like Godzilla, like, try me. You know what, try me. Mecha Godzilla, sure. I am setting you on fire, Tokyo, try me. But then I thought about it a little more,

and I thought about how Godzilla's always going to get defeated. Okay. There's always going to be something that comes along and brings Godzilla back down to his rest or whatever we want to call it, right? Okay, okay. So, Hulk. Oh, okay.

It's the most powerful power. It's the most powerful power. They sent him to another planet because they could not fuck with him. That's right. They had to give him his own planet. That's right. And he took over the planet. That's the power that I want.

Okay. Just kidding. But not really. Honey, do you know what you would like to inhabit? I have no idea. Okay. It was hard thinking of fictional things because my first answer was going to be like your phone. It does have to be fictional, doesn't it?

You can't have it. Okay. So it's vehicle device robot. Okay. Sure. That makes it tougher. Your phone. My phone?

I would always be in your pocket. That would be nice, actually. It's keeping in my pocket wherever I go. Cute. We're going on a walk, honey. Okay. But then I was thinking like, and this is also not fiction. but like the James Webb Telescope?

I mean, it'd be lonely. But it'd be cool. Yeah. That's great. Really nice view every day. Right? Because you're way out there. That's awesome.

I get to see real close. I'm going to say like the ship from Master and Commander the Far Side of the World. You know what I mean? Yeah. It gets its ass handed to it. I'm going to get the shit beat out of you. Before that, though. Like pre that.

It survives, though. It's still around. You know? Takes a beating that thing. But that sounds like fun sailing around. Age of sale shit. The age of sale shit. Exactly.

All right. Thank you very much for that question. Kevin. All right. From Sidney Grace, a.k.a. Fluffy Red Dragon. Hi mom, dad.

Neil and Julie. long time first time. I want to say, first of all, first of all, I want to say long time first time has survived past the radio era. Have we noticed that? It's like it's not the radio and yet long time first time survives. Shout out to that phrase. All right. Long time first of all, thank you so much for this nugget of joy in my life. This podcast has been a lifeline for me and I am eternally grateful. First question for Joe, how do you come up with all the life advice from all the different characters do you just wake up one day and it hits? Yeah.

It's like that. I don't know. You know, I don't know. I just start. It just comes out. There it is on the page. I don't know from whence it came. Exactly.

You just start writing and people say things in the show. And I have written them. And there it is. That's really all I can tell you about that. It's a mystery. For Neil and Julie, I am having my three-year anniversary date with my boyfriend soon. We are from Northwest Indiana and love taking the train from Chicago when we can. Do you have any date place slash restaurant recommendations?

We were planning on hitting the planetarium and the medical museum, if that narrows the area down. Thank you so much. So I saw this one as well And I looked at it a little bit Just a little closer All right And I look And so I looked at it because

So two things there The planetarium is in the museum campus Which is kind of a weird spot So there's like nothing close To the planetarium So since you're going to have to Kind of make a hike anyway Then for proximity to the planetarium

I think my best thing would be Just going to Chinatown there is a and specifically in Chinatown I can't remember what it's called but like in Chinatown in Chicago there's like the old street where everything looks very like

you would expect Chinatown to look like which is sort of to your left or the south end of the neighborhood and that's all very cool but the best places to eat are in this little like plaza that sort of more in the north side of Chinatown

so if you look on the map I think it is called like Chinatown Plaza or something. But go down there and check out and just really just like walk around what smells good and go in there. So that's proximity to the planetarium. Now the medical museum I was actually not aware of. I looked it up. I saw where it is. Museum.

It's Old Town. So on that end, now I don't know if you drink. I don't know if you invite alcohol. But if you do or even. But after the medical museum. But if you don't. But if you don't, but you don't mind going to a bar situation, there's a legend. bar not far from there called the Old Town alehouse.

It's very famous. It's a very interesting place. And across the street from that is Second City, which is not where I'm sending you, but right around the corner from Second City, there's a place called Professor Pizza, which is a very kind of interesting pizza place. So for Old Town, those are my initial recommendations. If you want to go just a little further away. Just yay.

Just yay further away. there is a place which I guess I'm going to go ahead and share because it's cash only and so that keeps the population artificially down but there's a place called half shell I'm not going to say anything else about it How dare you? Check it out if you're interested in what that might be check it out

This is a local secret it seems Weirdly yes It shouldn't be but it is I don't know why Okay and so that's all we know is it's called half shell, it's cash only. Right. So bring your role. I'm going to make people do some work.

If they want. Okay. Yeah. Get to work. Please report back from half shell so that we know what Neil is talking about. Julie, I talked a lot there. Did you have any other ideas? No, I agree with everything he just said. Okay.

Endorsed. In Chinatown, make sure you stop at the Cheekwan bakery, though, that place is fire. It will also be cash only. But it's so good. Okay. Wow. That's great. Those are some great recommendations.

Look at that. eye on Chicago. Here we are. That's great. Finally, honey, survey question, which is harder knitting or crochet? Is it less of a binary question and more of what you are in the mood for? Technically, I think knitting is harder. Okay. Because like with crochet, it's much easier to not drop a stitch or to just undo a little bit. And with knitting, it's like a whole... thing that is knit together. Right. If you will. So also you have to, you know, work with two sticks instead of one stick, which is crochet. That's true.

I prefer knitting. I think it looks a little neater and better. But it really depends on now for me. It does depend on what mood I'm in, which I do. But I think that knitting is technically harder. Okay. If that's the question. Thank you very much for filling out this survey, honey.

It's my pleasure. All right. Thank you very much for those questions. Sidney Grace, aka a fluffy red dragon. All right. Next up. Hey, Mom and Dad. Hey, Angel. Greetings to Neil and Julie. Two questions.

What do you imagine Effie and Zebulon as parents to be like? And the sponsors aren't listening right now. What is your? recommended cocktails, and what would you make your characters by y'all, Shane D? All right, Effie and Zebulon as parents, if they were parents. Which they aren't. Not yet. Not, not, not yet. In one timeline. What does the future hold, right? I would say tough but fair. I think that they would be fair. I think that they would be very loving, but I think that they would be a little bit tough, but they would be fair.

Yeah. It's hard for us because we're not parents, Heather. We're childless by choice, so we don't have direct experience to be in parents. Right. I mean, I think the way we act towards David is probably the best indication, even though that's more of an aunt and uncle godparent sort of situation. Right. But that's textually the closest I could hew to that answer.

Gotcha. There would be so many chores, though. Yeah. We live on a farm. You got to be choreing. Yeah. Every morning you get down here and you delete those emails. Every morning.

And then you lick the baseboards. Like the corners. Effie would never. Would never. On the cocktail front. Cocktail front. What is your recommended cocktails? So I'm going to go backwards first because I think at the end is like what cocktails would you assign to your characters or something?

What drinks would you make your characters? Yeah. So for Zebulon, I think what I would actually make is an Arnold Palmer. Sure. I know that's in A, but I think that's, I mean, it's lemonade, it's tea. That just seems like the vibe. Yeah, absolutely. I think for Effie, I'm going to go out on a limb here.

I think I would make her a brandy Alexander. Oh, nice. I would make her like a little creamy cocktail, like a confection, a dessert, an event. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. For me. A dash of cinnamon on the top.

Yeah. For me, Rye old-fashioned all day every day. Rye old-fashioned all day every day. All right. And, Neil, your cocktail of choice. This is going to be tough because you run the gamut, it seems. Yeah, I do. I really do.

I mean, we do just. What are you on right now? How about that? Well, we do a lot of old fashions, but today for this, for this show, I made myself a boulevardier. Boulevardier. A boulevardier, which is, for those. So people are more likely to have heard of a nagroney. A ngroni is a three-part cocktail that's gin,

Campari, and sweet vermouth. For people who know, Campari is sort of a bittersweet Italian drink that has kind of an orange flavor. And then sweet vermouth is fortified red wine. Red wine that's been fortified with also sugar and additional botanicals and additional booze. So that's a nigroney.

A boulevardier is the same thing, but it subs out whiskey, American whiskey for gin. So it's gin, Kampari, and Sweet Vermeuth. In this case, I had some... Whiskey. What did I say? You said gin. Oh, sorry.

Boulevardie is American whiskey, Kampari and Sweet Vermouth. I say American whiskey because usually you don't see Belvartier's made with scotch. But... And then this one I made with our dear friend Wally, who is a manager. at a local cocktail bar made us, gave us a bottle of bacon washed whiskey that he'd made. And that's where you sort of like you mix whiskey with like bacon fat or some kind of fat, so fat washed. Whoa.

Right. So you mix it all together. You stir it up and then you freeze it and then the fat solidifies. So you could just remove the fat. But some of the flavors from the fat are absorbed by the alcohol. I will say it's wild. I think it kind of changes the texture a little bit, but it doesn't taste like bacon. Yeah.

A little bit smoky, a little bit different texture. Yeah. Okay. And so I made a boulevardia with that because we're almost out of other whiskeys, so that's the way whiskey I use. We got to go with the bacon whiskey. Yeah. Because we're low on whiskey. All right.

That's fascinating. Thank you so much, guys. Everyone's going to be so metropolitan by the end of these questions. They're getting, you know, great places to go in town. They're getting cocktails. I mean, Bon vivant. We are Bon vivant. We are fucking Bon vivant.

Ask us about our Detroit. itinerary and we will teach you some things. That's true. You guys just got back from the Motor City. Welcome back. A week of Detroit. Yeah. All right. Thank you very much for those questions. Shane D. Hi, Joe. Hi, Joe. I'm Finley. Hi, Julia. A. Neal. Good day, Neil. Igpey Adelae here with a couple of questions for the table.

When I think on some of the more doomed locales, the diner has visited Ashley, the asteroid, Milano, the CME Earth. I find that our beloved crew often up being very public about the fact that they are a tasty little escape pod from almost certain destruction. Sure, they generally manage to pull things back from the brink, but I can't imagine there's a good number of desperate folks ready to go scorched earth and get themselves on board and the fuck out of Dodge. What do you think might happen if there was a good old-fashioned mob rush on one of the constructs? More to the point, constructs are known to support those in need, but if someone did manage to climb aboard via malicious means,

do you think the construct would reject them like a foreign body? I'm sure in the Joe Fisher audiomatic universe that we're calling J. Fow, apparently, such a character would be coaxed to benevolence across their adventures, but might a construct itself bear a certain benchmark for goodness? Big Payette and Lay, that was so much. Also not for the table. That's for you, friend. That's a Joe question.

That is a me question. Well, there's, yeah. So the rules are different from, for every construct. So you can't really say, as a rule, what will happen and what will not happen? I'm sure that's a frustrating answer. But it's... No, that's good. Ambiguity is good.

Ambiguity is good, I'm afraid. So I'm going to have to leave it at that. What are we calling the Joe universe? No, we're not. This is calling it the Joe Fisher Audomatic Universe, the J-FOW. Okay. The J-FOW. In my mind, I always said the term I always used was Jovian because I liked Jovian.

Nice. That's better, though. That's way better. All right. Second question, Julie. Tom recently described you as a karaoke aficionado. As a karaoke host myself, I'm curious what songs would you? you, Julie, not Effie, assigned to each of the crew to perform.

Please know, Mr. Brightside is the freebie tile for my bingo card of songs I expect to hear at literally any karaoke. Okay, well, that's interesting. No, Mr. Brightside is a thing. Mr. Brightside is a standard now. Like, it gets done a lot. Interesting. Okay. Okay, so you're assigning to the crew various karaoke song.

I thought about this one earlier just a little bit And I have to make sure that Fiona gets in here Even though she's not crew, Gen 1 I want Fiona here because I want to see her do A song that I saw somebody do the other night in Slay That's just the way you make me feel by Janelle Monet That would be a great So Fiona is the one outside the crew

Within the crew Gen 1 Susie, sorry Susie Gloria might be too hard for me because Susie, Suarez, and I have done countless thousands of hours of karaoke together, and I just don't know if I can remove her from it. It is hard because it's elevated to an art form. I've seen it multiple times, yes. Actually, you know what?

I'm just going to say, I'm going to knock two birds out with one stone right here. Okay. And I'm just going to say, it's me and Susie duetting together. So Effie and Gloria, duetting on the wings of love. Okay. By Jeffrey Osborne. That's good. Only the two of us on the wings of love.

Yes. So there's two knocked out. Leif has got to be some hymbo song. I don't know, Sugar Rang. Himbo songs. Sugar Rays. Sugar Rays. Some Sugar Rays doing.

Right. That's what I'm going to give him. I don't even like respect Sugar Ray enough to know any of his song title. So I'm just going to say he's doing Sugar Ray. I know no Sugar Ray songs. Halo from an angel on the corner of his four post bed. Yeah, perfect. Perfect.

Wow. Okay. And then we've got Zebulon. Zebulon. I think Zebulon would probably be some kind of like older classic country. I think he would. I think maybe he might be a little sentimental. Sure.

And he might get just one or two beers too deep and just get real sad, you know, for like country and home or whatever. Yeah. And so maybe take me home country roads by John Denver. Oh, nice. It's a beautiful song, but also Zebulon has taste. Right. And also I think that Zebulon would really be like crying while he sang it, and I love that. Right.

All right. Ava. Ava. You know, okay. I already know. I already know. Okay. Okay.

I do this thing with friends where we bracket karaoke songs and we did one hit wonders. And I threw in money. That's what I want. It's two one hit wonders. It's the original Motown version. And then there's one by a band called I think the Flying Lizards or the Lizards Society or something that was released in the 1980s, which sounds like, fucking hover bike. Nice.

It does sound like cover bike. It's like money. That's what I want. It's like that shit. So that's what I would make Ava do. Great. Okay, great. And that's it.

That's all. Casper. Did you get Casper? No. Oh, Casper. Hilarious that Casper was left out. Well, this guy over here is the best person I've ever seen do karaoke, frankly. So I'm going to give him something hard.

I'm going to give Casper something. He has referenced the pipes in a recent, podcast in a recent episode. You know what? I'm going to give Casper the hardest song I know at karaoke, and that is Cisco's The Thong Song. Oh, God. Listen.

That's the hardest song at karaoke is the Thong song. Go listen to it again. Because Cisco goes really, really hard. Cisco goes so hard in that song. Like, he sings so well and so hard. It's just like, okay. Anytime I hear it now, I just think about how awesome Cisco is. Plus it's always a banger.

Everybody fucking laughs their ass off and it's fun. So Casper would think it was silly, but it's actually very hard. Okay. Deceptively challenging song, The Thong Song. All right. That is great. Thank you so much. This show means so much to so many people, and I'm thrilled to be in a universe where I get to experience it.

Thank you all for the countless blood, sweat, and tears you have poured into it by your passion. Labor's Midnight Burger is far more than the sum of its parts. Thank you so much, Igpe, Attenley. Hi, friends. My name is Kate. I was recommended Midnight Burger because I was looking for something fundamentally kind to listen to while I work. I deal with brain fog from long COVID, and find that I need gentle media sometimes. I get caught up on the show in, I got caught up in the show in about a month, and now I'm going back through the shift notes. I mostly just want to say how wonderful it has been to find a show that believes so deeply in community and in the importance of being kind to and taking care of the person who happens to be in front of you. So much of the

engine of modern media seems to run on cruelty. Characters hurt each other, misunderstand each other, refuse to communicate, and generally make one another's lives worse because that's what keeps the plot moving. Midnight Burger feels built around almost the opposite idea, which has been genuinely lovely to spend time with. I guess I have a few questions. Okay, first, what motivated you to write a show whose core message is essentially you're not really a person outside of community, so you should probably take care of your neighbor? I guess that's for me. I don't really know, I don't know where I feel like this question is always very frustrating, and I'm sorry. I don't really know where things come from, and I don't necessarily know why I'm writing them.

When I start writing them, I don't really, it wasn't in my mind. This wasn't the theme that I had in mind and found the best story to explore that theme. The themes just come out because when you're writing, things come out, and that's what came out. So it's really just, it's just, it's like anything. It's like you're just, you're following what you're, what you're interested in and what you're a little bit obsessed with and you keep doing that. And what comes out of that is you because you, because you went into it with your desire and not with some sort of intellectual idea.

Second, they hear something about the show that often reminds me of Terry Pratchett, both in the way that it takes a fantastical world to its logical endpoint. and in the idea that being kind isn't always the same thing as being nice. I remember him getting name dropped in an episode, and I'm curious whether his work has been an influence on your own. I don't really know. That's another thing, is that influences aren't something... Influences aren't something that you're really aware of.

Honestly, like when you say what your influences are, you just sort of... They come out again when you're writing things. So maybe, I guess is the answer, but it's hard to like do the DNA swab of one's you know, inspirations, I guess. And third, I'm writing this

before listening to these shift notes for the episode focused on Zebulon and his wife, Effie. First of all, I think they're my favorite characters and I love the way Neil and Julie portray them. Zebulon's assurance that they're out there looking for those of us in a rough place makes me tear up regularly. As a former evangelical Christian,

and someone who is still a bit of a theology nerd, I find myself continually impressed by the biblical interpretation and theology that comes through those two characters. I'd be very curious to know where that comes from and what influences shaped the way you write their faith. Anyway, love the show. Thank you so much for making it and for putting something this kind into the world.

Appreciate you all. Kate. Thank you, Kate. To the final point, I don't know. It's, um, I read things like the Bible as if it is a book written by people and a book written by people a long time ago. And because it was a book written by people, it will be just as flawed as the people who wrote it were. Um, but also at times just as beautiful. And so what you can do is you can go into it and you can, you can, you can,

you can see the human beings behind it, rather than trying to see some sort of, you know, divine hand. And I guess in focusing on it that way, that's how things come out. There's this weird thing where hierarchical religions came about kind of the same time as hierarchical societies, and sometimes they were one and the same. And it was hard to separate those two. out for a long time.

And the weird thing about that is that when you look at the core messages of a lot of religions, they appear to be kind of anti-hierarchical. And sort of the message seems to be we're all equal and we're all sort of one together, which is strange that it became a hierarchical thing, which is another way of looking at it. Like there are beautiful parts and then there are also parts. that are maybe a bit distorted from the human experience. So I guess it be like that sometimes. I guess that's how that comes out.

I hope that answered that. Thank you very much, Kate, for all of your questions. Moving on. Dear Joe, more than once on shift notes, you have mentioned how much you love the moment at the end of season three with Effie and Zebulon in the maintenance droids on the outside of the pyrofight, looking at the stars together and how being on an adventure with your spouse is basically the dream.

If it's not too personal, is that kind of how you feel, you and Finley feel, when you look out over the Midnight Burgerverse? I think, I think kind of, yes, it's, mostly it's like always just surprise. Like we can't believe that this is happening, you know, like we started this a while back. and now it's turned into this, and it's very, very, very strange that it has become this. And so mostly it's like,

uh, amazement, you know, and it's a constant surprise. Like, you know, you wake up in the morning and it's like, I'm doing, what am I doing today? I'm doing this all day. Okay. Are you sure that, am I allowed to do that?

Is that okay? It's, uh, it's, uh, it's pretty weird. Um, I practically squeeze. at the scene at the end of the builder with Effie as a robot ripping a door off a spaceship and asking if anyone wanted to repent their sins. It was so good. I know that you don't like to share your picture of what the characters look like so that everyone can come up with their own. I don't have too good of a visual imagination, so I don't know what Effie Bot looks like,

really other than big and intimidating, but I like to imagine that David has found some paint somewhere and possibly while she's been asleep, given her some adornments like Jesus saves knuckle tattoos and Zebulon in a heart with an arrow through it on her chest. It's fun. Yeah. I approve. You say that you're not, you don't have a visual imagination, and then you just gave me some really great visual imagination things. You just did it. Yeah. Yeah, I think you're answering your own question. Neil and Julie, when you read the script or when you are acting it, do you have a clear picture in your head of what everything looks like,

or are you mostly just going with feelings? Thank you. You go first. I mostly, no. I don't think so. Weirdly except, am I not close enough? Sorry.

Weirdly except when we're actually in, when the story's actually set in the farmhouse. That's probably for some reason the clearest thing to me. Like it just I see that farmhouse looks like I see what the field looks like outside of it But I don't really See the diner I mean I guess I have an idea about which side the counter is on And which side the tables are on when you walk in the door sort of thing

But it's not nearly as detailed as when we're doing the farmhouse Yeah I don't ever see the scenes visually I don't at all To me and this is why probably one of the many reasons why I'm not actually a professional actor. To me, it's all about timing in the bit. To me, it's all about the words and how you hit the words and how you play that instrument. That is, that's how I process it. Gotcha. All right. I don't

have favorites, but the Melchlewains would be it. And it was so great to have this episode and finally hear their outro again. I had missed it. much. Big loves to everyone on the show, Ellie, aka Just a Little Day on the Discord. Thank you so much, Ellie, for those questions. Uh, hey everyone, first time, long time. First, may I say that Zeb and Effie are hands down my favorites in the Burgerverse, love you guys. And now on to the question. While listening to the last shift notes, I couldn't help but wonder a bit more about the question regarding Ava's not being interested in chess, especially when Zebulon has an incredible ability to win at board games. Now I'm picturing Zeb and Ava playing one of those old school chess

by mail type chess games where one of them just announces a move when they come up with it. That wasn't a question. How do you guys think that would end up? Does Zebulon's board game prowess translate to chess? Would he be able to beat Ava? Thanks guys. Love all and all the work you do. Pangalactic Giga. Pan-Galactic Giga. Pan-Gyga. trying to stir up some shit. Mm-hmm. First of all. Sorry.

And I apologize if this happened and I don't remember. Has Ava played chess on the show? No. There was a question last time about would Ava be into chess. We actually decided no, didn't we? We decided that Ava just wouldn't be interested in chess. I don't remember that. I know it happened last week.

But I've read like four books since then. Yes, you have read about four books since then. But yeah, it's a, so yeah, we decided that like, chess is something that Ava, while intricate and everything, would just not really be interested in it. I think impatience was the point. Impatience. Yeah. Because you got to wait around for somebody else to go.

It's possible that in that case, the better question, would Laif and Zebulon playing chess? What would that be like possibly? I think Laif and Zebulon playing chess is probably more the move. I think Laf would probably be more into it. I think Casper would be into it too, but he would be very bad at it. Like not, he would not be good at chess at all. But he'd be able to tell us all about grandmasters and, you know, historic matches and shit. I think Ava and Zebula Al-Lan, like, I think Ava would have to be in the mood for it.

But once she was in the mood for it, I think they'd have a nice game of, like, backgammon. I think. You know what I mean? Rolling some dice. Sure. We were in the Detroit Institute of the Arts. And they had a wing right now about the Dutch Golden Age. And in one of those paintings, there was some, it was a, I think it was like an ale house.

There was a bunch of drunk dudes and the poor serving women trying to like keep everything under control. But one of the things that was going on was a backgammon board had been flipped off. It was falling to the ground in the painting. Falling to the ground. No, my bat gamin. Bat gamin is a classy game at scene. You know what I mean? I feel like it feels a little classy to me because you've got.

dice in a cup and it's all in a little tiny suitcase. It comes in a suitcase. Probably depends on where you're playing it though. Yes. Indeed. All right. Thank you very much for that question. Pangalactic giga.

This beauty of a cocktail bar thrives in Moorhead, Minnesota. I'd gladly covered drinks if the McElwain's starbirds ever find themselves in the cold of the north. Aside from that, I sincerely appreciate. the gift of the Munkle Wains. Zebulon, defeating and still offering his respect and friendship to Vodnik, Chef's Kiss. Cheers, Koboko Duneard. Thank you very much for that, Kuboko Duneord.

All right. Oh, Lordy. Hi, Angel. Thank you for all the work you do. It is very much appreciated. Hi, Mom, Dad, Aunt Julie, Uncle Neil. My question for Neil and Julie, how was it being more mobile this season? I know that it's all audio, but I imagine that for the Mucklewains, not

being in their home could have changed how you portrayed them. I feel like Effie can be a little sassy, but being on the move gave her a little more. Personally, one of my favorite lines from Effie this season was at the end of the first episode when she says, evening gents, how about I give you half a minute to repent your sins? Well, people really like that one. People are liking that one this evening, yeah. Do you have a favorite Effie line? There is a theory that Trinket Corley, well, let's state.

that let's take that first. Do you have a favorite Fee line? The only one that ever really comes to my mind is when you had to speak French. And Fee goes, ooh, Comsa. And that always made me laugh. Yeah. Jim saw. That just always made me laugh. I'm sure that there's another one that if I sat here and thought about long enough, I would be able to come up with. But that's the first thing that pops into my head. All right. Next, there is a theory that Trinkett Corley is the mucklewain's granddaughter or related to the muckle wanes in some way. I was wondering what you all thought about that possibility. I don't think about that possibility. Same. Yeah, it never occurred to me. Okay. I left a voicemail before the builder's shift notes, but it was more about welcome to the

horizon, so I'm not sure I will ever get answered. So, Joe, my question, okay, this is about, okay, guys, regarding Welcome to the Horizon, we are getting some Welcome to the Horizon questions. Please feel free and send those in. We are setting those as simple. side and putting them in a different little basket. I haven't figured out yet what we're going to do with those questions. We will do something with the questions. I just haven't figured that out yet. So if you have Welcome to the Horizon questions, please feel through.

We're going to email them to Julie. My recall is zero. I don't remember. You're going to delete the emails. Yeah, and then I delete all the emails. Exactly. Finley knows. Exactly.

Okay. So you send us all the questions you want, but they are going to get sort of put in a little corner. and we're going to deal with them, and then we're going to lick it out. Okay, so don't worry. All right. Thank you for all that you do, Midnight Burger and other shows from you all are one of the few things that I can listen to and enjoy after I got a pretty bad concussion about a year ago.

When I had to cut down on my screen time massively and had to stop listening to music for the most part. Jesus Christ, does that happen when you get a concussion? That's awful. Ouch. Well, I'm glad we could do anything to ease that shit. Yeah. Damn. Thank you for keeping me company and sharing this beautiful and magical universe and community with all of us.

Okay, love you. Bye. Fritz, aka Starship Yenterprise on Discord. Thank you very much, Fritz. And sorry about the head. No question, really. Just wanted to say that Zebulon may hide in the shadows, but deep down he may be the smartest person in the diner.

He doesn't have an ace in the hole. His whole pack of cards is nothing but aces. And Julie, it's pronounced Circe. What does that mean? Do we know what that means? I don't know. And Julie spent, sirs. Okay.

Eric, thank you very much, Eric, for that confusion. Cool. Cool. Sorry. Is you a town in Arkansas called Circe? I thought it was Searcy. S-E-A-R-C-Y-E-Y. Was that what he saying?

That might be what it's about, but I don't remember. C-R-C-E-S-E-E-S-E-E-S-E-E-S-E. Actually, he is correct. It is pronounced C-C now that I think about it. So I'm sorry, Eric. Anyway, I'm CERC. Eric, a little more detail on that one would have been appreciated, Bunny. So thank you very much, yes.

We'll get it right from now. Will we? Hello. Hello, esteemed cast of my favorite podcast. I would like to start out by saying this is my absolute favorite episode of the season and top three of the entire show. I love the adventure story set up of the whole thing. It feels like it came right out of one of those magazine stories that Zebulon loves so much.

With the harrowing rescue and the over-the-top villain, who you can practically hear mustache twirling as he debates Zeb. The last, Zabulon! Send me into a fit of giggles at work. The muckle lanes mean a lot to me. Coming from a Baptist upbringing, I have always felt that the lessons I was taught in church were vastly different from the attitudes of the adults that taught me.

To be told to love all people and not be afraid by those who turned around and perpetuate hate and fear was disheartening. So to grow up and discover these characters who fill their story with hope, love, and true belief is very special. They've helped to heal that religious trauma that it felt was pervading every aspect of my life. So thank you for creating and bringing to life something so beautiful. My only question is about Effie Mucklewain's moment right before she jumps into space. She says a prayer, but then seems annoyed with the lack of direct response from the Lord.

This is the second time I can recall that she seems annoyed with the fact that he doesn't respond to her, despite her faithfulness and dedication to doing what is right. I'd love to know if this is something we're going to see more often, and is this a discussion she's had with Zebulon? I feel like this is one thing that could drive a wedge in their relationship, and I'm both excited and terrified to see how that conflict could be resolved. Thank you again. This show means so much to so many people.

You bring a light to a dark world, and for that, hope I can't ever thank you enough. Travis, aka Tena Naooki. Effie and Zebulon's relationship is unwedgible. It is an unwedgivable relationship. Because it is based on true mutual respect. Yes. And I think that Effie probably does sometimes say this shit to Zeb like, man, I wish the Lord would answer a little quicker, you know. And then Zeb always has something for her to like make her feel better or whatever.

But I think that sometimes Zeffie, Zeffie, I think that Effie is a little upset that things don't go faster. Yeah. I think so. And it's kind of like, you know, she feels, she feels secure in her relationship with the Lord. And therefore, in that secure relationship, she feels like she can talk however she wants to talk. Because it's a secure relationship. True respect. True respect.

Thank you very much for that question. Travis. Up next, I've always enjoyed the unique grammar and idioms of the way Effie talks is that a real Arkansasire dialect or something Joe and or Julie cooked up, did you cook up your dialect? No. Did you kick? I was born with this shit. But as I said earlier, in my normal speaking voice, it's usually not quite as strong.

But I can go there. I can go there real fast. And I just think it's because of all the people I grew up around and members of my family. And like, I've had many examples of, like, very rural Arkansas exits. my whole life. So yeah, whatever. It's just experience. To the uninitiated, Neil and Julie are from Arkansas. Maybe some people have met. Some newcomers might not know that. So maybe that was the case. P.S., I keep forgetting to add this. Midnight Burger is my favorite podcast and the first ever for which I joined

the Patreon. Thank you, Joe and Finley, for creating it, writing fantastic storylines and for hiring such incredible voice talent. Don't stop, please. Finley, you were my first favorite voice back when that crazy person objected to it, idiot. Now it seems every season my love gets divided among so many others. Jessica and Shelley come to mind, but are not the only ones. PPS, thank you, Joe, for the little tricks and tips you gave during audio drama school. Using that, I finally completed a book-length shitty first draft. Hey!

Congratulations. That's awesome. Love L.A. Sibleman, aka Phoenix Rising. Congratulations. Shitty first drafts are great. You look at them and you think, ha ha, you thought I couldn't finish you,

but I did. Motherfucker. But also you got, you know, and there are many shitty first drafts out there that you go back and you realize, hey, there's not as much shit in this sandwich as I actually thought was in the sandwich. And, you know, you move things here and there.

You tinker a little bit. And it becomes, you know, it can become a thing, even though you think it's shitty right now, Of course you think it's shitty right now. It's been a miserable experience finishing it. But you go back and, you know, there can be something there. So shout out to shitty first drafts. I wish one for all of you.

Thank you very much, Phoenix Rising. Hi, Angel. Hi, mom. Hi, dad. Leveled up my Patreon membership because shift notes seem like the only way to survive this hiatus. I'm currently listening to the shift note chapter 27 weird night at the sheep's eye, totally convinced your wayward grandmother is the action. Auntie Mame from the

1958 movie starring the one and only Rosalind Russell. Is it true? Either way, I'm adding it to my MB lore. It explains so much. Also, I see your jokes

about librarians and I'll raise you buying gay children's books in the face of looming book bands. Sincerely, the Buy Brown Librarian Batty against Ted's. Thanks you so much

by Brown Librarian Batty. I hope I'm not too late. I have a few questions because the mucklewains are in different things, but Julie and Neil share a microphone. Did that make doing the audio harder? You know, it's got its own, like, challenge thing, but it's, I think we think about it like haunted honeymoon. Yeah, totally.

We maybe even said this on our previous shift notes, Shift notes, actually. But if you've ever seen A Haunted Honeymoon where Gene Wilder and Gilder Radner play radio stars in like the, you know, 20s or 30s or something, and that whole thing is them, that there's this whole intro where they're finishing, you know, a spooky radio show and they're jumping back and forth onto the same mic. And it always just kind of feels like, and that, having that image in mind makes it feel fun instead of like an inconvenience, I guess. And also I would find it particularly difficult to record the scripts as they are, the jokes, the bits between the mucklewains if we weren't in the same room. Because we would have to be in different rooms to record separately, right? And we wouldn't be able to play off each other the same way. And I think that that is probably the awesome sauce that makes it good.

Yeah, because there's something about having Julie right here that makes me more likely to do a funky pronounce. or something. Swing for the fence. Just because I want to make her laugh. Right. Right. Yeah. So you, yeah.

So, which is great. And, you know, it is a little weird, but also great. And it's also, and, you know, I think we said this last time

is that, like, I did imagine it. Like, in Effie and Zebulon's house, there probably is one mic. So they're going back and forth in front of that mic. You know what I mean? Like in front of the radio.

Little mic in front of the radio. Yeah. Okay. For Neil and Julie, Joe has said before that there's pieces of the actors in the characters in what ways do you feel like you're similar to the characters? I don't...

This is kind of weird because it's kind of like I'm speaking for Joe or I'm speaking about myself on behalf of Joe. But, I mean, I think the main thing for me, for me, Neil, is that because Joe and I have worked together on multiple things, things over a long period of time. And so what I think the number one thing I get from it is just I get trust from it. Right. Anytime he throws something out there, I just be like, okay, Joe trusts me to do this and that's awesome.

So I think that that's what I get from it. Um, he, Joe has managed to write a part for me in which I don't cuss, but it's like I cuss. Yeah. And that is a gift. That is true. Yeah. That's a gift because he knows me so well. he knows that that's where I excel.

So thanks. I'm trusting and she's cussing. All right, this isn't really a question. But as a fellow Jane Austen fan, I was wondering if Julie ever watched the Lizzie Bennett Diaries and what she thought of them. Oh, there are feelings. I did not.

I did not. Okay. Up until very recently, when we covered Britt Box's excellent miniseries, the other Bennett sister. Yeah. We had never gone to a property that was, I don't want to be,

denigrate fan fiction, but would be separate, inspired by, right? Like, separated from the actual text of Jane Austen because everything we've ever talked about is an adaptation of a novel by Jane Austen. Although, did you do death at Pemberley? We did death at Pemberley.

Oh, that's right. We did Pride and Predators of Zombies, too. So we have done, we have done adaptations, but not outside of, of the, anyway, I didn't, when I saw Julia, Julie and Julia, do you remember that movie about Julia Child and then the woman living in modern times? Yeah. I kind of felt that that would be the way that it was, that it would be a split between modern and period, and I just didn't. Sure.

I didn't want to. Okay. By the way, watch the other Bennett sister. It's really good. Okay. Great. And just to preface that, there's a whole other podcast universe. that Julie is part of.

It is a Podlander drunkast. It started off as just you guys talking about Outlander. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And then it became so much more. And it became so much more. Because of the pandemic, Joe.

So this is when you were getting Midnight Burger cooking is when we had to figure out what do we pivot to if they can't film Outlander. Yeah, they couldn't film Outlander. That's where we went to the Jane Austen adaptations. Sickburn Jane. Sick Burn Jane is the name of that one. Sickburn Jane. so you do Jane Olson stuff, also crime-solving women. That one is when we have the extra time to just fuck around a little bit.

And that one's called... Girls just want to solve crimes. And it's about any type of crime serial show that has a woman as a primary crime solver. And the only thing that we say is we can watch any episode of murder she wrote whenever the fuck we want to. But we can also watch series and stuff. But every once in a while it's just like put on some murder she wrote. Let's talk about it. about it. Right. Gotcha. And wait, okay, so if someone is looking for it in a podcasting app, it is still,

it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, podlander drunkast. I would search podlander presents and I would search podlender drunkast. Those are the two main names that were kind of known by, because podlinder drunkast was the first podcast. All right. There you go. It's great stuff. Check it out if you'd like to have more of Julie's voice, uh, in your life for sure. And also Allison, uh, who is, uh, Yeah, and my friend Amelia, we're all over the place. All over the place. Allison, I'm so excited for her upcoming role. Oh, yes, it's very exciting.

Yes, that's tomorrow as we record this. That's happening tomorrow. Oh, is that a secret? Are we allowed to talk about it? It won't be a secret by the time he releases this. Oh, okay. No, it won't be a secret by the time, yes. Talking about last philosopher.

Podcasting mind. Anyway, but yes, definitely check out all of that stuff that that Julie and Allison are doing over there. It's great stuff. Okay. Thank you, Mom and Dad. Julie and Neil for bringing the Munkle Wayans to life. Love you in a parisocially appropriate way.

Awesome. Kimberly, aka Exquisite Wimsy. P.S. Isopal and I bought a house together and we're finally going to start wedding planning. Thank you, Joe, for allowing him to propose on shift notes. It was absolutely perfect. That's great, guys.

Hi, Mom and Dad and Julie and Neil. long time, first time, and all that. Here are my questions. I love the Michael Wains. Exclamation point. Speed run may be my favorite episode. One of my, one of the many things I love about the Mokawains is their kind and inclusive version of religion, not something we see a lot of these days. Did you model this on any church or religion, or is someone or someplace in your life, maybe Unitarians or Quakers? No, I don't know any Unitarians or Quakers. I'm assuming that's for me. I don't know any Unitarians or Quakers. I'm sure they're lovely people.

Quakers, I have a lot of respect for. Same. Because people have been trying to kick them out of society for a very long time. There's only two left. There's only two Quakers left? Yes, there's only two Quakers left. Shakers, I'm sorry, you're right. It's Shakers. There's only two Shakers left.

There's only two shakers left? I feel like I can be forgiven for getting that confused. You can. Absolutely. Yes, absolutely forgiven. So the Shakers are in trouble. Quakers. are fine. Unitarians, I've never met a Unitarian.

I'm sure I've met a Unitarian. Yeah, I'm sure. I just don't have, I don't have a clear vision of a Unitarian, I guess, in my mind. Weren't they, weren't they the ones that came to all of our shows? Yes, in Portland. Yeah, they would also always buy out Mournays. Yeah, there was a Unitarian group. When we were doing theater in Portland, there was a Unitarian group who would buy up a matinee, and they would come.

And they were very nice people. Super nice people. I found Midnight Burger after a particularly difficult time in my life. My spouse, parent, and dog died within a three-year period. Since then, I have very little tolerance for dark entertainment, but I still love good writing, and that isn't afraid to take on issues. Speculative, Screwball, comedies are favorite. Midnight Burger hits the nail on the head.

Can you recommend other media with this ethos? Good place. There's nothing like us out there. There's just... The good place. you've never watched the television show The Good Place, that's a good place to start. The Good Place is, yeah. The Good Place is a good place to start. That is true. Parks and Recreation, I feel. Yeah, man. Yeah. That's one. Give those a try if you haven't already. Yeah. Give it, give those two incredibly popular TV shows a try if you haven't, if you haven't heard of them. If I think of some more, I'll throw on at you.

Some of my favorite are the Thursday Next series by Jasper Fjord and Jody Taylor's St. Mary's books. On TV, I recently discovered Winona Earp and just started rewatching The Magicians. Finally, I am getting married again soon. Oh, wow. Life often sucks, but usually gets better. Any chance that the mucklewains can perform my wedding. Does the answer change if I tell you that after the wedding, we are moving to Ireland, and we'll have a guest room.

Thanks for making this wonderful show by Sarah from the real housewives of Seagius. That's hilarious. Thank you. No, we would not do that. Yeah. There's just not enough time in the day to do stuff like that.

I don't want to get ordained. Yeah. It's a lot of pressure is what it is. And I, you know, we don't want to, I don't know. It's, I feel like it should be handled by the professionals. It's one of those things. You know what I mean?

Our friends, Kelly and Jeremy, both got ordained by that thing online, like the Universal Life Church. And it was, they had to go through something. And they had to come up with their aspects or their names. And it was awesome because my friend Kelly, who is an incredible teacher and has taught high school Latin for like 25 years. She calls herself an educator healer. And that's what her certificate says. And I'm always like, that's so cute. But I don't want to, what am I going to be?

But microphone cusser. Yeah, you know, Sarah, I think we're just not going to get into the wedding business over here at Business Goose Media. But we love that you're getting married again. And congratulations. And please send photos. We would love to see them. And please enjoy the day. P.S.

try singing Tico Brahe has a moose to the tune of Camp Town Races. Tico Brahe has a moose, doda, doda. You can do that. Thank you very much, Sarah. Skittles and beer here. I've recently been putting a team together for the Midnight Burger RPG, and I've really been thinking about how much more interesting stories are when characters are put in situations they're really unfamiliar with.

Gloria is obviously suited really well to restaurants, but the rest of them would obviously be way more at home in other places in the beginning of their journeys. Personally, for each of the real-life people playing these roles, what would be the most out-of-place business you could end up time-hopping through the multiverse on? Okay, so we're all in a construct of some kind, and it's the one that is the most out-of-place for you.

For us or for the whole crew? Oh, for us. I think us as individual, as humans, What would our, what would, you know. It's like a million things. It's going to be, you know, nuclear submarine. We're going to be in trouble there. Nuclear.

Time traveling to mention spanning nuclear submarine. Mine is, mine is darker. Mine is darker. Mine is like triangle short waist factory. Oh, dude. Industrial Revolution being trapped in a sweatshop like that. Yeah. That is very dark.

Wait, so it's time traveling, dimension spanning, triangle shirt waistfire. You know the one exists, right? And it burns down at the end of every shift. Every shift it burns down. But we have no memory of the burning down. No memory of the burning. It happens every time.

Head explodes. This is like the dark version. Wow. Honey, you would be most out of place in what? traveling construct? What do you think? Most out of place. Most out of place. The confidence, the sheer confidence in not being able to think of a place where she would be out of place.

No, my mind goes in two directions and they're so different that I, like, got stuck there for a second. So it's obviously a place that is both of those places. One of them, no, I'll just give you two different answers real quick. One of them is going to be, like, I don't know, the roof-tarring business. Yes. Time traveling dimension spanning roof tarring business. Right? Where it's always like Arizona in August.

So it's just the truck? No, it's like the tarring of the roof. It's terrible. It's a time traveling dimension spanning roof that needs to get tared. But if I'm going most out of place, it's going to be like a thing where like I don't speak the language or understand. and the customs, customs or any of that. So it's like whatever, wherever the samurai's hang out. Yeah.

Okay. In like medieval Japan. Like the Daimyo's Palace. Yeah, Daimus Palace. In the Dukagawa Shogunit? Yes, that. That. That's what I want.

So time traveling to mention spanning shogunit is, okay. Great. I'm really excited about the clothes, though. And the swords. Yeah, the swords are great. The clothes look very comfortable. Right? That is true.

Well, for the men. Broomy pants? I can't tell the way the way I'm walking. Yeah. All right. For me, nail salon. All right. Okay.

That's so awesome. That's so funny. Thank you guys for being what I most look forward to every week. Thank you very much, Skittles and Beer. Hello, Joe and Finley and Neil and Julie and Angel. I'm hoping I actually get this in on time. I live outside of space and time as the parent of a five-year-old daughter who has definite Burt, Bert, Bert, Energy, and a four-month-old son who has strong God of hanging out vibes. But I've been wondering for a while, are there infinite crocs out there? We've met some of the infinite Avas, Lafes, and Gloria's, among others, and we know that there were infinite Clementines. But does Croc's unique origin give him a different relationship to the multiverse that makes him truly one of one? Or might the diner and crew end up running into him in another timeline somewhere else in the multiverse? I love all of the characters on Midnight Burger, but Effie

and Zebulon have a special place in my heart. My husband and I have talked to a lot of friends who are looking for stories of married couples who are happy together and still get to be part of interesting and exciting stories. And that is a very short list. So often married couples are sidelined as boring or are in constant conflict with each other. Joe, thank you for writing these characters who are dynamic, who go on adventures together, and who can disagree with each other without constantly battling each other. Neil and Julie, these characters wouldn't be the same without the two of you. The warmth and comedic timing you bring to Effie and Zebulon bring these characters to life.

Thank you for creating this wonderful story and sharing it. with all of us. It continues to be one of my husbands and my favorite things. We return to it often when time and tide roil us too harshly. And we are so excited to see what season six has in store. And Neil and Julie, thank you so, thank you for the Laws Rye bonded whiskey recommendation. It was as delicious as you described. Cheers, Allie Batty. Thank you so much, Allie, for all of that. Yay. That was so much. So this is, can you read? It's a specific recommendation, and it's amazing that somebody actually took it. This is, could you reiterate this for someone who may have missed it?

This is Laws Rye bonded whiskey. There is a distillery in Colorado, right, called Laws. They also have their own farms, so they're growing their own wheat. So they didn't really get into, like, whiskey production until, like, maybe about 15 years ago. No, that's Jay Henry. You were thinking of it. No, no, no. But also Laws was new.

Yeah. I think Laws was new. But they do this thing called bottled and bond, which means all the grains. they're used in that scotch have to be grown in the same harvest. Okay. Wow. So it's like these, all this wheat came from 2024 or whatever. So that's bottled and bond.

Right. And this one is laws bottled and bond. Rye. And it's so good. It's just delicious. I don't really know how to say it other than like platonic ideal of American whiskey. Yeah. Like a little bit sweet but not too sweet because it's got that spicy.

But a nice rice. And I don't know. I mean, they're in Colorado and we can get it here at some places. So I don't know what the distribution is. So if you think you might be interested, go to a place with a big whiskey selection and see if they got it. Or if they can order it for you if you're interested. Okay. That sounds awesome.

Yes. Thank you once again, Allie, for all of that fun stuff. Oh, and to your Crocs question, who the fuck knows? Yeah. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.

And that is the end of our letters. Now we move on to the voicemails. The voicemails. The voicemails. It is now time for voicemails. We're going to hear the voices of people and it's all very exciting, everyone. Here we go. Are you ready?

Yes. We are great. We let us start. I'm just starting at random. Here we go. Hi y'all, this is Tanya. Firstly, I just discovered the illustrated Midnight Burger

and holy fuck, so amazing. I do not need a reason to relisten. It's pretty well on constantly repeat for me. But what a lovely new way to experience the stories. Thank you to the artists and everyone involved. This talk of cats on ship note has me sad. Our theme has been missing

two and a half weeks, which when we live in a forest on the side of the mountain, can happen. You don't think it's going to happen to your pet. We are grieving. Neil and Julie, thank you so much for your portrayals in Zebulon. I love their characters.

I feel like we could use more of their flavor of Christianity in the world today. I'm curious, at some point in Shephano, you mentioned that you visualize in Zubelon

looking through their window and seeing designer that way and I'm curious Neil and Julie what your takes on how Echene Zubelan would have reacted suddenly

not having a front yard as I understand they kind of sprung into existence all the memories of Atheon and Zedulon and so

how they would have reacted and kind of integrated suddenly not having a front yard and a diner would probably also be an odd view for someone living in that time. So yeah, curious to your thoughts on that. And yours, Joe, have any? Also happy to hear a no, Joe, meaning we'll hopefully get some sort of flashback at some point.

Thank you all so much. These stories mean the world to me, and excited to see what else is. coming forward. Thank you so much for that, Chania. Okay, so let me be clear, though, when I was talking about how the muckle wanes, okay, so what I was describing when we were talking about how the muckle wanes view everything is that, like,

they're in their living room at the radio, and the bay window they see into the diner. Okay? So that was right. But they still have a front yard. Okay. So they can still be out there in the long. but inside the living room,

they're seeing the diner through the windows. It's very specific, and it's, I don't know, it's, I don't know, that's just how I visualize it. So I think they still have a yard, you know. I kind of like the idea that they don't have a yard anymore, that all of a sudden they woke up and it was just a diner. And Effie's like, you turn that radio on right now, Zebulon, and you start talking because that's the only thing that's going to keep us alive.

Let's go. We don't have any chores to do. We're trapped in this house now. Just start talking. I understand what you're saying. But I do think the whole farm is there. You know? I think the whole farm is...

Because even like in this episode, remember, they're like talking about how they've been away from the house. And they're worried about the weeds. Yeah, we got to weed this shit. We got the weeds, right? They're true homeowners and that they think about weeds all of the time. Right. Anyway, thank you very much for that question, Chania. Two polar cat.

Hi, Mom and Dad and Angel and Neil and Julie. It's Two Polar Cat, aka Phoenix. I have to somewhat apologize for not managing to get any messages in for shift notes until now. I really wanted to ask everyone a question so far, but I've been really busy and haven't had the spoons as I've been, busy transitioning. Yeah, if you wanted any indicator as to just how long season five has been, before the season started, I had only kind of started to let myself think I was non-pinerary.

I got on estrogen, and then, as the season ended, I finally realized that I am, in fact, a girl. I've been on estrogen for about eight months now and busy voice training and stuff, and it's really great. But anyway, I have the spoons now, I think, to call in. So here I am. Amazing. Questions. First for Neil and Julie, we've seen the muckawains

inhabit many a thing. Cars, robots, probes, a spaceship. What is your favorite things that the muckoldeins have inhabited? And what would you like for them to inhabit in the future if you could give them anything? For Finley, and your job of making books invisible Are there any Red flags or like icks that you have

For the narrators that you work with Or even just narrators that you listen to Anything that you just can't stand On any level And last for Joe What went into coming up with Lubuzza's mantra Here I am I've come to really love it

And use it in my own life Often how I start my journal entries or to center myself when I'm spiraling or sometimes in my voice training just to have something repetitive to say. And I would love to hear what your thought process was when writing it. It's so simple yet so impactful. Thank you all for everything. As always, this season has been really great. I love you guys so much. Bye.

Bye. Congratulations. Congratulations. Congratulations. Congratulations. Weird way to burn me for the season being too long by saying when we started this season. Let me tell you how long this season's been, Joe. Thank you very much for those questions.

Okay, first part, Mucklewains. What in the future, what do you want the Munkle Wains to inhabit that they have not inhabited? The first part of the question is, which one have you done already that was your favorite? and I have to say being in the car. It's the car. It's exactly what I thought to. I love being in the car and just driving the car and making the cops chase the car. That was the best.

Yeah. Okay. In the future. In the future. In the future. In the year 3000. I would say I've done a lot of robots. I've done a lot of enforcer robots.

And that's cool and fun. But I think maybe I would like to be some. something like more generally useful to people. Like, I don't want to say an espresso maker, but something that everybody loves and uses. I was thinking, like, because it's all like sci-fi and shit. Like, if there was ever a situation where there was an automated kitchen where we could actually help out with the cooking.

Right, there you go. We'd be good at that. Okay. Gotcha. Although you were the, remember, you were the Jazzercise robot. that one time. Oh, I remember. It's a different kind of enforcer.

Different kind of enforcer. Yeah. Honey, your question, your audio book Pet Peaves. Yes. I will, I think, choose to go with a pet peeve route instead of the red flag absolutely cannot stand route. Okay. Okay. which I, because I work with real people, it might get me into trouble.

So, pet peeves. I can tell when a narrator has not read the book before they come to perform the book. Yes. Even narrators who I dearly love, who are very good at reading a thing. Right. And sounding like, you know, they, they know what they're reading. Right.

But there's just subtle things that I can pick up on. Like, words don't get stressed or things like that. So that's a pet peeve in terms of like my working life with audiobooks. In terms of listening to audiobooks, I cannot, like, I've heard this a few times and I immediately stop the book. I can't listen to it when a voice starts to sound like AI. Oh. Which is a weird. thing because we're really trying to get our jobs not to be stolen by AI.

So when a narrator sounds like a robot, I don't like it. I don't like it. It creeps me out. Okay. Oh, there was one other thing. Oh, there is, I'm not sure how to articulate this, but there is a habit that it's really easy to fall into when you're reading long form like that, when you have a whole lot of pages and a whole lot of words and it's a long book, that you can kind of get into a pattern where you're

reading, but it's like the melody of the voice takes over and it gets kind of trans-like and hypnotic. Sure. So if you ever find yourself listening to an audiobook and kind of zoning out, it may be because the voice has kind of gotten into that trans-like thing. where it sounds nice to listen to, but it's not conveying the meaning of the words anymore. Right. If that makes sense.

That makes sense. So those are my pet peeves. Okay. And then finally for me, how did I come up with Labuzza's mantra? I was in New York City. I was, I believe, in Midtown. There was a person who did not seem unhoused,

but she was in, you know, a very different place mentally from the rest of the passers-by. And she was standing there on the corner of 44th and 46, I think, saying, I'm right here. Here I am. I'm right here over and over again. And I don't know. There's something about the look on her face. There's something about the fact that she was kind of staring off into the middle distance. saying that over and over again,

and it just stuck with me forever. And so I think that's how I did it. I think that's how I did it. Yeah, which is weird, but that's where it came from, I think. Anyway, thank you very much for those questions to Policat. All right.

Moving right along, here we go. Hi, Joe, hi Philly, hi New, hi Julie. Hello. This is Summer, A.K. Metamus. Oh, wow. That was a lot of names. Joe, how do you do it?

Anyway, so, Afi and Zebulon have several personas they get to play all throughout the show. Is there one that you'd say it's most like yourselves, like a Joe or Finley or Neil or Julie persona, like your personality?

and if Neil and Julie were personas for the McCoynes what vibes would they be what vibes would they get and my question for everybody is if you

had to inhabit anything like electronics or robots or cars or spaceships what would you inhabit. Thank you so much for all the work you put into the show.

I love you guys so much and you bring me so much joy. I love you guys. Bye-bye. Thank you very much, Summer, for that, very sweet of you. Okay, first part was what? Which of our mini characters we played are most like us? Yeah, personas is different than inhabiting a machine. Yes, these are roles you have assumed.

Right, which are the most like us personally. Yes, right. I would have to say it's the doctor in adventure. Sure, yeah. Yes. Yeah, for me. Okay. I don't know.

That's tough. Well, the first, as I kind of started to think through some of them, the one that I think came, I don't know if this is the right one, but this is what I'm saying, is the guy that's the, producer voice on the advice show. Dr. Barb and what's his name? Frank? Frank. Frank. Yeah, maybe Frank. Yeah, I'm not sure that's right, but that's the one that I've gone. You're going with Frank. Yeah.

I would like to step in here and say that sometimes Neil does really have soggy vibes, though. Morning ladies. Although I did base soggy strongly. someone that we know in our actual lives. That's true. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay.

Very interesting. Very interesting. Okay. So if the muckle wane started acting like you guys. Which is very, very a hat and a hat of hat. More curse words. And probably a little bit more, more bits. More bits.

More, sure. More bits. I mean, way less religion. Yeah. Yeah. could remove the religion completely out of it. But you could have, like, us just reading a book like they did in the Christmas interlude, and it would be just like that except cussing and trying to make each other laugh.

That's what it would like. Excellent. All right. Up next, we've got a little Stevie Pie. Hey, everybody. A little Steve Pie here. Neil, Julie. I had a great time eating you guys at Burger Town.

And I didn't have a couple of people. questions for you. When did you guys all start doing this business doing, you know, like, on-task or voiceovers or whatever you want to call it? Because, I mean, it's the beginning of Midnight Bergen now between you guys and Joe

have really elevated about Zepinetti. You guys sound like real people now. And I think that's what my wife, and I really like about you guys is it's not pretend anymore. It's almost like you're really right

there and you kind of does develop an emotional attachment to you guys. And you could say that it's for just about every character now, but you guys, especially, maybe it's because my family farm was in Rosebud, Arkansas, you know, by Circe. But I want to ask you to also.

Burn, burn, quiet, burn. Some of your favorite moments. from the show what stood out to you guys and he either had a really good time or really resonated with you and that's about it I'll listen for your answer

love everybody's there keep it up because I'm not ready to stop listening yet and see you next season all right before we answer I just want to say little Stevie Pie was not drunk when he left that message That is, I had to, he was in a very echoy room and I had to like digitally reconstruct his voice and it sounds a little wonky. Okay.

So, Stevie Pie, you're in a very echoey room. Okay. Yeah, not that we would care. I just wanted to make sure that that was happening. All right. So how long have you been doing the podcast? How long have you been in this world is the question? The podliner drug cast started in 2016.

So I've been doing it for 10 years. 10 years, yes. And I didn't do any of this until a mega station. So a megastation was my first. You did Doolander. Right, but I guess more like scripted audio drama performance stuff. Oh yeah, I didn't do that until midnight. But I've been acting, you know, since the late 90s, mid to late 90s.

So that's probably a lot of it. And then also Joe's writing. I think it's mostly just Joe's writing, but for whatever reason, you know, I've done a lot of Joe's stuff over the years, and it always just seems to click for me. Agreed. Okay, great. Thank you very much for that question. What was the other thing? Oh, favorite.

You know, I've always got recency bias on this, but something I really recently enjoyed was playing clue. Oh, yeah. That bit where I was playing Clue I liked. Yeah, I have to admit that I did enjoy being the jazzer-sized robot. That was really funny. All right. Thank you very much, little Stevie Pye, for the questions. Let's go to Sharon.

Hello, you all. Hello, Joe and Finley and Neil and Julie. This is Sharon, aka Bold Mouse on Discord. What a treat to get to relisten to an episode knowing that you all are going to meet and talk and tell us stories.

This is just the best. My question for Julie and Neil, for each of you, both of you, if you could choose an adventure or body or fix that Ethie and Zebulon have gotten into throughout their adventures

to really experience safely crazily, which one would it be? Thank you so much, all of you, for everything you do. What beauty and fun and kindness you bring into the world. Big love to you all. Bye-bye. Thank you so much for that, Sharon. That's very kind of you.

Okay, so what have you done as the mucklewins that you would like to do in real life? safely safely it's the boat it's the boat it's the boat it's the boat it's the boat yeah it's the oh the river boat soggy and the doctor on the killing nazis version yes yeah i mean and not for nothing that's the one where they act that's the one where they actually get it on too so you know i think hold on

i think that effie and zebulon probably whenever they inhabit other characters at some point in the history of this radio situation have gotten it on as those characters But this explicitly happens in that one. Yes. But I do think that they're into that. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. That's great. That's great to know. A little backstory for you. Thank you very much for that. Sharon. That's lovely. Potion Maestro.

Hey, y'all. This is Potion Maestro. Come at you with a question for Neil, Julie, and also Joe, I guess, because this This is definitely like very much a writing question as well. One of the things I 100% did not expect when I first started listening to the show was just how much it would reframe my relationship with or at least my view of a lot of things written down in the Bible. You know, for a long time it was kind of a kind of an end.

angry atheist, you know? And I definitely, like, mellowed quite a bit on that by the time I discovered the show. But then it's like the way it talked about things, not only from such a gentler perspective, but also reframing things. Like, in the Signal episode, how Zipelon talks about the myth of Abraham and, like, how he was at first committed to sacrifice his son to God and all that stuff. And I was just wondering, what has it... been like to kind of like, you know, have that sort of, I don't know about influence,

but that sort of healing effect, I guess, when it comes to a lot of people who've really, like, had a lot of really, you know, just struggle with things that came, that came along with the Bible and, you know, faith and all that stuff. Um, in the, other than that, love you guys. It's been an absolute unbelievable pleasure to work with everyone, and I hope I get to do something with the mucklewains at some point. That would be super cool. Love y'all. All right.

A good one. Thank you very much, Potient Maestro. Portion Maestro, of course, playing Snorts McGuarts, playing... I love snorts. Yes, we love snorts as well as multiple other roles this entire season. Okay. From this side of the page, I'm always very touched and thankful. I guess whenever you're doing something that you love doing,

it's wonderful when other people find value in it in any way. And so, I mean, for me, I'm just trying to give the best performance I can of what's on the page. but it is a not insubstantial bonus when people like you say things like that about the impact that it's had on them. So I'm very thankful for it and humbled by it, but then I have to not think about it because I can't think about that while I've actually tried to do it. Exactly. It is very humbling and lovely. And coming from me, I mean, I've made no secret of the fact that I'm. actually an atheist. So being associated with this character is kind of like a spicy melange.

Spicy malange. But I understand how it could help people to just remember the basics, like be kind to one another, tell the truth. Respect to other humans, like just those very basic tenets that everyone should really be doing all the time. So it's good. for sure. And, you know, first of all, spicy malange new drag name. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage. Spicy malage.

Look, there's a lot of fucked up shit in the Bible. And, you know, I mean, I don't know. Sometimes it does help. I've heard to think of the New Testament as actually a repudiation of the Old Testament. I've heard that's a good way forward. because there are some people out there who have that interpretation. But, yeah, I think, and, you know, I talked about this a little bit already in the question section.

But, yeah, you just treat it as something written by a person and then accept, you know, that people have failings. And so too will they're writing, you know. But thank you very much. Posting Maestro for the question. Next up is Meg. Hey fam, it's Meg, aka Midnight Burger should serve Chicago dogs. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for creating something that is not only wondrous art, but a homing beacon for a wonderful and weird community.

I found Midnight Burger around the time I quit my 9 to 5 to start my own firm and carve out more time for being a human. And that can be lonely. I wasn't prepared for that. But the podcast kind of became my office soundtrack and the Discord community provided my water cooler chats and interactions with other people during the day. And I am truly grateful. We're actually having a meet up here on Sunday. So by the time this airs, I will have met real-life people who are as into midnight burgers I am, which will be validating. Okay.

Questions for Neil and Julie. Your cocktail people in Chicago. So I need to know where you fall on pretension versus quality. where you'd suffer one to get the other. If there are places you'd recommend for someone who loves dives and also misses the splendor of the milkroom, I'll take my answers off the air and you cannot say the medal mark. This question is for everyone.

What is your character's adult beverage slash drug slash vice of choice and what is yours? Any character that you have ever voiced in Midnight Burger, dealer's choice. Thank you for creativity and kindness. Thank you so much for that. Meg, a lot of Chicago inside baseball there. So please explain.

Okay, so we need a dive and also a bit of a fancy place, I believe, is the question, right? Am I getting that right? So now asking somebody to recommend a dive is kind of a dicey territory because you don't necessarily want people to go to your dive bar. That's, yes. That is the, that is the, that is the, that's, that is the, that's, that is the, that's, that's, that is the rub. Yes. But I guess I will, you know what, the dive bar, I'm going to. recommend.

So this is the dummy dive bar. This is the one you recommend, not the one you go. This is the one I would say only because I think this place in some ways is so divey. Then it'll turn some folks off. The people would not end up staying long. But we love it. And that is a place called the sovereign in Edgewater. The sovereign, okay?

It always smells like there was a recent flood in there. You know what I mean? It smells moist. Cash only. Cash only. No draft beers. No draft beers. Bottles and cans only.

Shots, Mallor, that shit. But the jukebox. The jukebox. Elite. It's all handmade CDs from regulars and bartenders. And they're all hand-lettered and like, yes, it's incredible. Yeah. That's great.

That's dope. That's awesome. So it's super cool, but it's also so divey. It's kind of gross. I mean, it's kind of. It is kind of gross. Okay, great. Good to know.

I've actually never been to Metal Arc. I've heard of Metal Arc. But we don't go that far afield for fancy cocktail places because we have a lovely craft cocktail place, a two-block walk from us. Okay. But I'm also not going to name check that place because that place gets busy as hell. No, you've got to give their name out. Come on now. Okay, all right.

Rogers Park Social. If I can big ups, we love you. Yeah, we love it. Okay. Yeah, it does get busy as hell, though. But it's lovely. Actually, I mentioned earlier. I mentioned our friend Wally, who gave me the bacon-washed whiskey.

He is the manager of that bar. Gotcha. Okay, great. Yeah. Awesome. And then cocktails. We already talked about. Pretension versus.

Oh, pretension versus Quatt. You know, it's, I mean, I think if someplace seems pretentious, but then the drinks are good, then, like, who cares kind of for the most part? If the service is good, the drinks are good, then I don't know that that matters so much. I'll go to an expensive fucking cocktail bar just to see what it's like, because it feels luxe. You know what I mean?

It's like a treat. But because Rogers Park Social is right there, it's like our home bar, so it's kind of six and one half dozen the other. I think I have to call Dr. Barbara's drink because you sang Frank earlier really inspired me to think about Dr. Barbara.

Dr. Barbara is 1,000% a pink Zenfandel girly. With ice in there. Right, because she lives in the desert, right? Yes. Yeah. Yes. So that's Dr. Barbara. Okay.

I mean, I already did the Arnold Palmer thing for Zeb. Zeb does Arnold Palmer's, right, which is great. Arnold Palmer's. And then let me see And it could be any of my It could be anybody Really it could be anybody Yeah

So I guess I'm just Well but if it's a cocktail God it's so easy to just say a shot I'm something I know I know but I'm trying to actually think about individual Oh you know what

For Ava Okay I'm going to go with Let me see if I can remember the name of this drink. I think this drink is called a Jasmine. Okay. Jasmine? Yeah. It's called As in the plant or a dude who plays jazz.

Right, right, right. As in the plant. As in the princess from Aladdin. Aladdin. Okay. Yeah. It is not a great drink as originally made. But I think it's one of those things where it would be like, you never know people that smoke menthols.

Yeah. And it's like, you know, you only smoke these so that no one will bum them off of you. Right? I think because a Jasmine is is a bitter sour instead of a sweet sour drink. It's kind of like if you took a, it's like, it's basically gin and Kampari is what the drink is. Right. So it's pretty bitter and gin, Kampari and lemon juice. So it's very bracing.

It's a bracing drink. And no one else would want a second sip. of Ava's drink. She would get to have it all for herself. And it's also, is also pink. It is pink. It is also a pink drink.

Okay. Now, when I make it, I add an egg white so that it gets a little bit of foam. And in that case, I call it a magic carpet ride in honor of Aladdin. In honor of Aladdin.

Okay, great. That is excellent. All right. That's a lot of fantastic information. Thank you so much. Well. All right, moving right along, Lord Zoltan. Greetings and salutations.

It is I, Lord Zoltan. Quite. Hello, Mom. Hello, Dad. Hello, Uncle Neil and Auntie Julie. You know, the last time I phoned in, I referred to the amazing Mr. Tom a Mormon with the words uncle and Tom. Auntie Julie, you were quick to correct me, and I want you to know that your message was received and understood.

I hear and obey. I have served and will be of service. You get my meanings. Because what Auntie Julie wants, Auntie Julie gets. Now, for this next part, I had to take care of apologies. You, your magnificent, amazing man, your ability to craft a story and bring it to life is on par, is sitting in the same rarefied air as. Rod Serling, Jay Michaels, Trusinsky, Taylor, and Taylor, Sheridan, and Tyler Perry, you know what I mean. But that would be nothing without you and Finley and Neil and Julie and Susie and Tom and everyone else that you've brought into the Midnight Burger family. The universe that you have created and it is bigger every season is now on par with some of the greatest stories ever told in any medium. And I don't dare who disagrees with me.

They are wrong. I am right. The way it is. And I just want to tell you how much I appreciate. appreciate this show. It has given me chills. It is fired me up. It has brought me to tears. I don't cry, Joe. I don't try. But this show? This show has made me cry. And I just want to say that my greatest regret is that I wasn't there from day one. You know, I found Midnight Burger when it was in season three. I went back and I started listening to it. And I immediately got on Patreon and started supporting and I will support until the day I die because that's how much this show means to me. So I love you all. I love the whole Midnight Burger, community, family. Everyone here is amazing.

You're doing what you do. Thank you so much, Lord Zoltan, for all of that. Thank you for that impassioned plea. That is really lovely. Very flattering and very nice to hear from you all the time, Lord Zoltan. All right. Up next is Jonah and quotes. Hello, this is Jonah.

And it's quotes, the core of it. Hello. Just got out of a Weird Al Yankovic concerts. We have a question for y'all. Which of Weird Al's song is y'all's favorite? We know it doesn't have a lot to do with the episode, but hey, it seemed right. Thank you all for everything. Don't make me choose.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Don't make me choose. This is a very important question. Yeah, it's very hard to choose. I am obsessed with Weird Al. I have been obsessed with Weird Al since I was very young.

Yes. And I have a very important. dreams about Weird Al. He's the only famous person that I've dreamt of more than one time. And here's the thing. In every dream I have about Weird Al,

he's fucking awesome and just a great hang. Yeah, for sure. It's just me and Weird Al being cool and it's awesome. The vibes have been immaculate from day one with Weird Al. They have to think about it really hard.

And, you know, okay, take a minute. And, you know, it should be said, Weird Al is really a musical genius. Okay? But, I mean, they're not just goofy. of Fame. Yes.

He should definitely be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. And I will say that like, this is not one song, but like on all of his albums,

there is the montage of the, of the hits of the day that he does, Polka style. And the way that one song goes into another

in this medley is always amazing. Like I don't know, I honestly don't know how he does it. His band is so good. They've been touring together for like,

amazing band. For, ever, they're just, they're great together. I will say, for me personally, I'm going to say, Dare to Be Stupid. That's what I was going to say. That's what I was going to say. I fucking love that song. We can have the same one.

We have the same one. So it's meant to be a parody of a Devo song, right? And like, apparently Mark Mothersbaugh, when he heard the song, he got so mad because he felt like Weird Al did a better Devo song than he did. You know, when he did Dare to Be Stupid? So I'll go with Dare to be stupid, I think. Anybody else? Anybody else want to chime in with a weird owl? Yeah, I mean, I guess when I was a kid,

when I was a kid, it was all about like, you know, like the Yoda song and weirdly, and this song is kind of horrifying, but those were the good old days was a song. And that song's actually horrifying, but when I was a kid, I liked it. Oh, my God.

And then, you know, I mean, I like another one rides the bus better than another one bites the dust. Like, when it says, hey, he's going to sit by you, I get, it just makes me want to jump out of my seat and dance. It's such a good moment. That's a good moment. For sure. So Neil's crazy one that he likes is those were the good old days, which is horrifying. But my favorite psychotic weird owl song, because there are several. Yeah, for sure.

My favorite is Mr. Frump and his iron lung. Do you all remember that one? I do remember that one, yes. On brand for this shift notes. You know what yet is. Ship notes. Ship notes. Amazing.

Have a favorite Weird Al song? I mean, another one rides the bus is up there for sure. I'm sorry for this, but I do like Amish Paradise. It's amazing. It's an amazing song. That is up there. As I look at the valley where I harvest my grain, I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain.

Yeah. Is there a better lyric anywhere? No. I mean, the only one I can think of is pepper. Shepherds pie peppered with actual Shepard. That's the only better lyrics than that one. Yeah, I think Amish Paradise is mine. That's amazing.

That's an amazing question, Jonah, end quote. It's an important question, and we really appreciate you bringing it to us. That's awesome shit. Thank you. Up next, Gubrius. Hello, there, Burger Crew. Hey, Joey, Finley, hey, Julie, hey, Neil. This is Goobrius

First time sending in And I have two questions Relating to this episode First This is, if I'm not mistaken, the episode where David begins Assigning People Specific Artists to sing at karaoke

Right Would you say intentional or no That is his like equivalent To Casper assigning people at the diner Birds I think it's a really cute idea For both of them to have something that they like assigned to people as a way to relate to them.

And then my other question, or really just like a general like, you know, statement is just any like insight on Vodnik would be cool to hear. I love it whenever Zebulon gets to have a one-on-one with an antagonist. And I think Vodnick is really interesting in that regard because he doesn't just react to Zeppelon's ideology.

He kind of like he studies it and he throws it back at him as like a war tactic and I think that's really cool. Bonus question, not about the episode. What advice would you give to a 26 year old who wants to get into voice acting but hasn't yet? Okay, bye. Okay, bye. Thank you so much, Gubrious, for those questions. David Kay, yeah, I think, you know, David, that's, you know, I think David is very, you know,

like a party starter, you know what I mean? And he wants people to feel empowered and, way that he helps them feel empowered is like, you know, what's a great song for you to sing, is X, you know, and he's very good at picking those out, I think. You know what I mean? And then... Insight into Vodnick. Yeah, Vodnick Insight. And then, yes, and then the Vodnick Insight was, I think it was like with...

Because it's a ship battle experience, right? So you have two ships hunting each other, one more powerful than the other. and it's always great in those situations because it's not like this is the first time this has happened. But it's like when you have two captains that have a kind of mutual respect for each other and this, it's one of those things like what you want is for both of them

to be disappointed when somebody has to win, right? It's a little disappointing. And that's always what you want to go for. Like there's a old episode, there's an old Star Trek original series episode where he's, you know, Kirk is hunting the Romulan captain. And they both, you know, they have a certain, there's a lot of respect that they have for each other. It's kind of that vibe. That's really what you want to go for with something like that. You know what I mean?

Okay. And advice for someone who wants to get into voice acting. We have no idea. Do it. That's my best. You just have to start. If you, I mean, I don't, again, if you, you just have to start. There's no perfect time to start.

The best time to start was yesterday. The second best time to start is today. That is true. It's true with most things, definitely with this. Like, from a practical standpoint, I would just make sure you have something, you have a pretty good setup to record at home. Because you're going to be recording at home. Even if all you're doing is auditions, you want them to sound good.

Yeah, you want to sound good. Yeah, you want to sound good. Yeah. This is, and I'm speaking differently from audiobook narration, because that's a whole other much more complicated animal. But when you're talking about wanting to do some audio drama, there's a bunch of audio dramas out there always looking for actors. And if you can sound good on a mic, you're almost halfway there. So it's really, you know, have a fairly good setup and then start, you know, and then just start shooting out emails, you know, with some voice samples on there, you know?

And test that setup, right? Get that set up and test it. Like, record some stuff and listen back to it and, like, learn how to fiddle with the knobs and, like, get it to sound good, right? Get some familiarity with it. Like, it's about you on that. Julie doesn't have a lot. So I don't actually know how to do that. Right.

It seems like a good idea what I would say of it. I agree with that. It actually is important. And I would say before you start shooting out all those emails, like practice, do some. You're going to need some kind of reel, like, because people are like, send me your reel. How many roles would you say would be on a standard reel or how long would it be? I would say probably three or four. Okay.

And maybe the reel is like five minutes. Yeah. Remember one needs to be a pirate. One needs to be British. Okay. If you have any accents that you do, I would showcase those. If you have any voices you do, I would showcase those. I would also suggest you to consider that the acting does not need to be as big as maybe you think it does,

because you're right there on that microphone. So just it still needs to come from an organic place. Even if it's an alien, even if it's a robot. You know what I mean? It's like you're right there. If you don't have any acting experience at all. Get some. Still start.

But also, you know, maybe go take some sort of like scene study class. There's probably some kind of acting class. And, you know, at least it's practice actually saying things. and responding to another person if it's got a scene, if it's got its scene work in it, right? Anything else that might be, you know, not whatever class may be great, it may not be great, but at least you'd get the chance to practice having to say things to another person, have them respond to you and have that give and take.

100%. Because there's a lot of people who do this are actors with training. And I'm not saying that you have to necessarily be that, but put in the effort to learn what you're doing. Yeah. It's a difficult thing to make look easy. So, you know, just keep that in mind, for sure. But just start.

Yeah, but go. Do it. Yeah. Do it. And thank you very much for all of that. Also, it's very helpful if you make friends with some dude 30 years ago who ends up writing an incredible script. Yes. That helps.

30 years ago. make a print. Maybe marry them. Eventually. All right. Thank you, Guberius. Up next. Hello, Joe,

Finlay, Neil, and Julie. This is an exchange student from Mitz. Today, I'm calling in with a question for Julie and Neil. If the waveform versions of Effie and Zebulon

were to meet their human counterparts and be able to spend a day with them. What do you think that they would think of each other? And how do you think that they would spend that day together? I look forward to hearing your thoughts, but I must away to the Yule Zone once again. Hope to talk to you all again soon. Tata for now. Thank you very much, Eel Exchange student.

Amazing. You know, okay. Clarify. I will. If the disembodied Zeb and Effie, like the wave form, what we are in the radio, if they were to meet the actual physical Zeb and Effie. The grandparents that the thought was based on. What would go down there and what do you think they would be doing? My answer is one word, chores. You live on a farm. That shit has to get done. Let's go. Put on the apron. Come on. We'll talk while we've been. Any hands make light work. Exactly. That's the only answer.

All right. So they just do some chores. All right. All right. Now we know. Chorin. Get to chorin. If you can clean, you can clean.

If you can lean, you can clean. I didn't know we could make waveforms do chores. I have a whole new strategy for life now. I'll inhabit the tractor. Yeah. All right. I think we are on our final voicemail. and it is Lita.

Hello, Julie and Neal, Ann Finley, and Joe, and also Theo, just to make this list extra long. It's Lita again. Quick side note, when a friend of mine joined the Discord and posted an introduction, Julie greeted her and she was in my DMs, so excited because she adores the mucklewains. Just thought you'd like to know that. Now, this may be a weird question for the starbirds, but if you had a trust or two visiting Chicago for a weekend of your choice, where would you take our favorite Chicago accented aliens?

And yet, this might be a selfish question. As a vegetarian midwesterner who wants to make a stop in Chicago the next time I'm heading north to visit family, but so what? I'd still love to know. Also, Joe, in this episode, Kazi mentions that they've freed Earth 619. Do you have an idea for what that version of Earth was like, or was that just a number you pick. Okay. Love you all. Thanks for everything. Bye. Thank you so much for all of that, Lita. Okay, so there's a group of

Truskins coming to Chicago. Okay, now keep in mind. Truskins are vegetarians, right? Truskins are vegetarians. And we know they like to eat. Yeah. So, well, they're big, right? Yeah. Yeah, man. They got to eat. Luckily, Chicago has a lot of food. So we're going to be okay here. Chicago also has a lot of really good. vegetarian food. And I didn't know if this person said vegan or vegetarian, but I'm going with vegetarian. And I think my first recommendation would be either Galit or Cafe Yaya. Mediterranean restaurants, we took you guys to Cafe Yaya when you were here.

It was delicious. Yes, it was great. Those restaurants are really close to each other and they're very good. If you were going to be closer to downtown or like in Lincoln Park, what do you think? Oh, oh, I got it. Got it. Chicago pizza and oven grinder. Okay.

Oh, yeah. Big ass salads and shit? No, maybe I'm thinking of a different one. What's the one with the cheese soufflet? That's oven grinder, yeah. Yeah, okay. So there's this weird cheese pizza that you can get vegetarian. It's an insane pizza.

It's just dough marinera sauce and cheese. You've never seen anything like this in your life. But it's like this much cheese. It's like two inches of cheese that's melted into this personal pan size, like deep dish pizza that they turn out. And it's just. like a personal deep dish with nothing but cheese in it. Yeah, they basically bring out this big, big ass cereal bowl and turn it upside down onto your plate and a pizza comes out.

So I think the Truskins would dig that. I think the Truskins would be like over the moon for that shit. So yeah, there's three. Amazing. All right. We're getting so much great, you know, recommendations for Chicago. Neil and I love our city. our city and we like to take adventures all over the place.

So we've got all the wrecks. It really, it's a lovely town you guys have got there for sure. All right. Oh, and yes, Earth 619. Yes, I do know what that is. And that's my answer. All right. Don't worry about it.

Don't worry about it. And that is all of the voicemails, guys. Thank you so much for calling in. Those were incredible, and we had a great time doing them. All right. Let's do this. Hell yeah. Previously on Midnight Burger.

The husband and I have a word. The radio is talking to me. I am not Effie Muckleway. Now am I. So, I imagine I'm allowed to lay the tracks of this train while I'm driving it. Are you? Still a Christian? Oh, yes, absolutely.

No matter how odd the life of the mucklewains becomes, I can still feel him out there in the darkness, Eva, in all things. I do not know what I am, Clementine. I have come to think of it as, imagine shouting your name into a canyon. And then after a moment, your voice comes back to you from the other side of the canyon. But the echo doesn't stop. stop there. It continues to travel down the canyon, saying your name over and over again. And then in a

strange moment, that echo of your voice somehow finds a voice of its own. It begins life as an echo of another, but then comes to grow into a new being entirely. With... Michael Wainter, AI? Feelings independent of the one who wants... No. No. Good. No.

Good. Don't. No. Good. Damn. The moment is ruined for me now. God damn. No.

It's still beautifully written. And Neil does a great job performing it, but I'm just saying there's some echoes. Just a little echoes. All right. Hey. Get her. Funny to think of myself as piloting a ship through the stars like this. A simple.

man like me. You see, as a boy, I grew up far from any ocean. And the thought of me navigating the wave seemed a far-off notion. Okay. Now, I did not mean to rhyme that. And Neil saw the rhyme. And he was like, I'm going in, everybody. Stand back.

I'm rhyming. And then turning it into a bit like Zebulon's pretty excited that he just rhymed that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, God damn it. All right. It's always nice to, in those longer speeches, it's always nice to find a little moment of levity here and there, too. For sure.

Much less gliding across the night sky as we are now. Yes, I've been out of my element for as long. as I can remember. But worry not, my fearful passengers. I've taken to this starry sea as if I were bored in the life. Not much to it, really. I point myself in the right direction and off we go. Now, I can play all the music I see fit, but I don't imagine any of that will do much good to calm your disposition so much as the truth would. So let us be honest about our predicament. you are our prisoners there's no other way of saying it you have wisely laid down your arms and offered surrender and you should be commended for it imagine like it's like okay i surrender and like this is what happens

just playing gospel music and the ship is talking you shall be treated no less human than any other There will be more to say on this as we approach our destination. For now, take comfort in the fact that you have chosen the way of peace. I'm Zebulon Mucklewain, here with my wife, Effie. Hi, y'all. I'll take it from here, husband. Very good, dear. Now then, let's wring some of the dirt out of the dishcloth, y'all.

You've come to find yourself aboard the SS Return to Sender. We ain't no warship. in case you're wondering, we are a mobile hospital, transport, and search and rescue outfit. We heal the sick and find the loss, and that's it. And from time to time, we find ourselves transporting prisoners such as yourselves. Some may see this as a distortion of our benevolent mission, but let me emphasize the following notion. So much R. Lee Ermi energy, you know what I mean? Walking up and down the aisles, you know, called.

people, maggots. Y'all have quite recently. Aligned yourself with the legions of evil. And if that don't make you lost and sick, well, I don't know what does. So make yourselves comfortable. We got hills and valleys to cross. Oh, and one last thing,

in case any of you all got aspirations towards stirring up a mutiny, keep in mind, but I got two fists on this here iron body. Don't make me put your names on. Either of them. Much had changed since the simple days of creaking corn. Carrot and stick, baby.

Carrion stick, right? Exactly. Zebulon's like, welcome everyone, you know? Hope you're having a wonderful time here as our prisoners. And now here's a scary... Peace, peace, peace, peace. Peace, peace, peace. And on the other side of that coin, terrifying robot.

Fizz. Reality. Reality. Empty house. It seemed as though the more people they brought into their house and into their lives, the more complicated things became. Kennedy, Alison Farner, how are you doing? Karaoke in the mess hall tonight? Are you going to be there?

Come on now. I want to see that share impression I've been hearing about. Woo! Everybody, share? Who's going to share? Woo! Whoa! Tell you.

Share is so fun at karaoke. Share is so fun to sing it karaoke. Any share song, just do it. May I full-throatedly recommend if I could turn back time. What about. Because she's got a range of like five notes, basically, right? Cher. And it's just like it's pretty, yeah.

How? Attention all ships. Earth 619 is free. Now that's what I'm talking about. Now karaoke is mandatory, y'all. I will be doing Prince. It will be from the Dirty Mind era. Prepare yourselves.

The Dirty Mind era? Okay. That's a dirty mind album. It's a great album. Maybe he's got the deep cuts. Maybe he's listening to the B sides. You know, B sides and, you know.

That vault shit. Chris was wearing a jacket with huge shoulders. Not much else. Not much else. Yeah. He's wearing panties and big shoulder jacket. You know. confidently.

Yeah. You know, the confidence. I believe there's a song on that album just called Head. There is. Again, singing confidently. Yeah. You know what I mean? Amazing.

Remember, like, when he did the Super Bowl? One of the best Super Bowl performances of all time, the Prince Super Bowl, right? It's between that one and Whitney of the Star Spangled Banner, but I think Prince's halftime was better. Because the rain, like the downpour and all. all that. It just made it epic.

Yeah. And he made the rain happen on purpose because Prince has that power over the weather, right? Yes, he did. There's that still. He still does. Damn. There's that controversy where it's like, while he, during a guitar solo, his shadow was projected on a big sheet behind him.

And it seemed as though his enormous dong was like straight out from his body. You know what he was doing. Yeah. People protested saying that this was. deliberate and it was like Hell yeah, it was deliberate. Of course it was, yes. Did you just get here?

It's Prince. What were you expecting exactly? Come on. And then he just laid it down, too. It was such a great performance. Oh, my God. So good. That's how you do it. You know what I mean? Best ever do it.

Let Freedom Ring, everybody. David. You're late. I was busy. Celebrating our victory. There'll be plenty of time for that later. The spirit move me. Can the spirit move you to your station, please? Yes, man.

David has like nepotism, higher vibes. You know what I mean? He's just like, my dad's important. So I don't really have to take this shit seriously, you know? Hey there. Hi. You're new? I am.

David, this is Major Cass William. This is Scotty Coldwell. Yet another. Yay! Scott Aie! Another one of the Chicago So, uh, onslaught that we experienced this season. Contingent.

She's our newest for, Contingent. Chicago contingent, honey. It's a better, better word. There you. Welcome. Thanks. Where are you from? Uh, earth?

Most of us are from Earth, Cass. Right. Uh, I guess you guys are calling it Earth 2012. Ooh, 2012. Been there. How you hold on up? How am I holding up? About two months ago, I learned that I was a pawn in a galactic war and that my entire life was a lie.

So. So pretty good. Sure. How do you end up here? They drafted everyone in the astronaut program to serve on these things. They're called Vesnes. We steal them from the bad guys after we run them out of town. The bad guys.

They were a little light on that information. Who are the bad guys? For a while, we just called them the mystery men. Turns out, they're called the primis lid. Primis lid. And I could never call them that, even though I named them that. For the rest of the season, I still couldn't use the word premise. For some reason, Mystery Man was just...

stuck, you know, in my head. Premis lid. Yeah. It's hard to say. It doesn't roll with the time. Does anyone know where the premise lid is? I swear I put it down right here. I have a splitting headache. Does anyone have any premise lit?

Exactly. It feels like that, right? Although hearing that the ships are called Vesnas, wouldn't be great if they're called Vespas. And they're all just on Vespas. all the bad guys just riding Italian Italian scooters. Yeah, they're mods. They're mods.

Oh, yeah, the bad guys are all mons. Yeah. When do they show up? In a certain sense, any minute now. David, if you could pause your charm offensive, please. We're about to execute the maneuver. Yes, ma'am. What's the maneuver?

We're all going to stand up and do the electric slide. What? David. Are we not? Major. Every time we liberate a planet, the enemy retaliates. Electric slide. It's invented.

Amazing. Invented by Richard Rick Silver, the electric slide, apparently. Oh. And then in 2007, apparently, Rick Silver, alleged inventor of the electric slide. Okay. Started suing people on YouTube who were doing the electric slide. No. Like getting takedown notices because they're not allowed to do the electric slide.

Right. This is like when LeBron James tried to trademark Taco Tuesday. Yes, exactly. Oh, my God. It was exactly like that. Can you imagine? It belongs to the people. You can't, you know what I mean? It can't be proprietary. But it's like the Electronic Frontier Foundation had to get involved because he kept suing so many people on YouTube. Eventually, they talked him into doing a creative commons license for the electric slide. There is a cocktail thing like this. There's a cocktail thing like this.

There's a cocktail thing like this? Goslings. Gosling's ginger beer. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Or gozlings rum. They make the rum. They also make... Anyway, they have successfully trademarked dark and stormy

as being something that requires their specific rum to be called. Oh, no. And they will get litigious about people putting dark and stormies in their beverage programs that don't use their rum. Wow. That's a little... much, I think. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Well, anyway, so if you're doing the electric

slide on YouTube, just remember to credit Rick Silver or else you will get a take down notice, okay, because creative commons. Right. It's in the form of a massive cascade of energy from their home world. We've been losing a lot of ships. I think we found a way of combating it, but it's going to

require some nimble piloting. Don't worry. The nimble piloting isn't us. It's those guys up front. Those guys up front are aliens. Indeed. And she is two, Kazi? Correct. Okay.

You could try clicking your heels together three times. Maybe you'll go back to Kansas. I already. Who were the guys up front? Are they people that came with Kazi and Yeah. So when they came here, they came with about a hundred other people. Okay.

All right, all right. So those are the guys who were doing the much more complicated work on the ship, right? Because they know the deal. Just to support staff they need to fill in with humans. Yeah, leave a tip. Leave a tip. Not hard to imagine. Husband, I am beat.

Have yourself a sit down, dear. We're nearly at our destination. Don't mind if I do. Charging. Oh, yes. That'll do just fine. What I wouldn't give, man. You know what I'm saying?

For a chair that I just sit in and I start charging. You know? It would be cool. They have them at the airport. They have, they recharge you. Yeah, those vibrating chairs you said in. No, there's not, I want like, you know, wraps right your legs. Yeah, I want the real thing.

Oh, he's right, though, the ones, the squeezy ones? Yeah. The squeasy ones are a little weird. Yeah. I don't know, I don't trust a machine. I'm not. Yeah. No, I'm not doing it.

You know what I mean? What was it? in the King Kong movie that happened in the 80s. The Jeff Bridges one. Jeff Bridges and Cabezer. Jeff, no, it wasn't Camasinger. It's Jessica Lang. Oh, shit.

Just Galang almost got killed by the gorilla hand. Right. Whoa. The mechanical gorilla hand almost crushed her to death because it was malfunctioning. You know what I mean? Every time I see one of those chairs at the airport, I think you're just going to get crushed by the gorilla. Kong. The clawing.

of Kong, you know what I mean? So I can't trust one of those chairs. I do want one that recharges me though. You know what I mean? How does it plug in though? Yeah, where does that plug in? How does it plug in? What are you doing there?

It's wireless charging, guys. Okay, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Sure could have used that iron body of yours when we put the new roof on the barn. Oh, there is a whole host of things I could have been better in life.

Zepbiltz got to have a lot of you. hooked up to the, you know, the combine. You got it hooked up to the out in the field, dragging the thing. Whatever the thing is that makes the groove in the... Chorin. Chorin. That's what they do.

Yeah. For reasons they may never know, the signal that had become two had settled into a simple life, one of farms and sunsets. Little rivers through lowlands and old vehicles with sputtering engines.

It was a life they imagined for themselves. But as life moved forward, they found that life changing. It was one of danger and strange journeys. It appeared now that this life they imagined was only the beginning. And the longer the road traveled, the more unfamiliar the territory. But how many of us, can say we live the life we imagined. Can we just talk one more time about how Shelley just really crushed it with this

narration in these episodes? So good, right? Yeah. She really good. It's awesome. And it can be daunting, right? I can't imagine when she realized, oh, every episode this season starts with a wall of text that I'm going to deliver.

It can be a little bit of a moment of, okay, okay, it's on me every time, every time. Right? But yeah. Just killed it. Time to make the magic happen again. Remind me to make you a chicken fried steak when all this is over and done. Oh, that sounds lovely. One for me as well, dear. Laboza, we are in a bit of a crisis, I hear. I'll start with the good news.

Kazi and David are alive. Does anyone really like chicken fried steak? It's pretty grubbin if it's a good one. You think so? It's a good, if it's one, if it needs to look like a moon rock, you know, it needs to be like, like it can't look. It's got to have a lot of crunch on it. It gets tons of crunch on it to absorb all the nonsense that you're about to drape over the top of it, right? I have not had one this century. So, you know, my memories of it are kind of foggy.

Because in my mind, in my mind, it's up there with steak fingers, you know. It's kind of just like salty. Salty hangover food. Salty hangover food. fruit, dude. It's pretty high up there, actually. I don't know that I would eat it all the time, but a good one is, like, really craggy with the really good crispy shit on it. Let's go. Okay. Yeah. All right. Let us go. Let us indeed go, yes. The chicken fried steak is calling. I must go. But I still say no to the steak fingers. Yeah, okay. Deuce is steak.

What is the steak? What is the finger of the steak? You know like a chicken finger? Yes. But make it steak. But it's always overcooked and gross. They're not good. So it's just like chicken fried steak. Beef strips. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right.

So something hit right. Yeah, you need the gravy. You need the whole experience. You know what I mean? Their ship is disabled and it has drifted into a nearby nebula. Just outside the entrance to a warp tunnel. Well, let's yoke up a mule and get on out there. That's where the complexities come in.

It's a trap. Lovely. Crox Fort. Shout out to Admiral. Akbar. Gone too soon. We miss you, Admiral. It's a trap.

Guys, it's a trap. There's someone waiting for us outside that nebula. He calls himself Vodnik. He's taken several of our ships off the board already. So, okay. So I,

so Labusa and Tita and Kazi, they all came from Czech mythology. Right? Those names did. And so for a lot of the things I stayed with the Czech mythology, right? Mm-hmm. Vodnick is a water goblin, y'all,

who wear green skin, green hair, as one would expect. I would expect that for my water goblin's unexpected, snappy dresser wearing a suit. Vodnick! Wearing a suit and a top hat, okay? and then waits beneath the water for you to start swimming and then pulls you under the water and drowns you

and then takes your soul and keeps it in a teapot and then puts it up on a little shelf in his underwater layer. There's an American analog for this. There's an American cartoon analog for this and it is the fucking frog. The frog. Hello, my baby. Hello, my darling. Remember how only the one.

I mean, green skin top hat? It's all there. That's spot it. Hello. That's funny. Send me a kiss by wire. All right. Well, there's, in Irish folklore,

there's some kind of being, I can't remember the name of it, a marrow maybe, but they live under the sea and they collect like souls of the sailors in shipwrecks and put them in jars or cages. Oh, soul cages. So Vodnik sucks is what you're saying. Sucks real hard. Snappy dresser, though, apparently. But looks great doing it.

Looks great, looks great doing it. Which is all that matters. Hello there. My name's David. I'll be your doctor. Fuck you, doctor. Are you ready? David, are you married?

I'm not. Okay. We're going to have to get married after this because the How We Met Story is going to be too good to pass up. Yes. We'll learn later in the season this would be a marriage of convenience

on both sides. This would be a, yes, this would be, this would be a lavender way. A lavender marriage. A lavender marriage. Just for the story. Yeah, exactly. Just for the story.

Traveling through these tunnels reminds me a bit of Jasper Weymouth. Jasper Weymouth? Yes. Jasper Weymouth was a bootlegger, dear. Yes, he was. This is a fun bit. No one knows the backroads like a bootlegger.

Yes. I don't believe he'd ever taken a state road in his life that one. I recall he claimed that he found the fastest route from Fort Smith to Branson. Oh, yes, I remember. What was that he called folks after he tippled a bottle or two? Boone companions. Yeah, that's the one. My boon companions, he would say.

I've earned Earth the Golden Road, Twix of Arkansas, Missouri. Nary a constable upon it. That's, you know, in this story about Jasper, it really, like, in this metropolitan age of ours, I feel like we've lost the town drunk. You know, there are no more town drunks, you know, and it's a shame because, like, in the movie about aliens, he's always the one who sees it and no one believes him. You know what I mean? Yep.

He's always the guy who sees the thing that no one believes, right? Yeah. Or he's the guy fighting for you and no one else will. The Simpsons has Barney, so still kind of there. That's true. Yes. Not the same as like, yeah, not the same as like Otis from Andy Griffith. Like that's it.

Yes. Where for art thou, Otis? Otis. You know, we've lost the Otis's. Also lost with smartphones and. map nav and all that shit, like the, oh, I know a way that's actually a little bit of a faster way. Yeah. Of taking back roads, right?

Yes. Because when I was like, you know, in my, in the 80s and 90s, it felt like that was a thing. Like, oh, I know this other way to get there. That's a little better. Yeah. Yeah, we're going to go my way. We're going to go my way. Yeah.

To this side of town. Yeah, I know this way. I've been taken to this way for three years now. and it's 20 minutes faster than your way is. And it's not. It just feels that way. It just feels somehow.

Because maybe you don't have to stop the traffic as much. There's not as many stop signs. Maybe it's all right turns. Yeah, it's all right turns. But that's lost. Smartphones have gotten rid of the fun bullshit and they have brought in with it a whole other terrible type of bullshit, right?

Yeah. Like the really, like, pestilent bullshit. before it was just like telling stories at the bar you could do that before smartphones because now if you tell a story at a bar someone's gonna check it on the smartphone. Somebody's looking that up. Yeah. Somebody's looking that shit up, right?

Yeah. It's a shame. I try to do that less now. I used to do that with Tom a lot. We'd be watching basketball and he would make a proclamation about something in basketball history and I was like, that doesn't sound right.

And I would look it up. But I've kind of just stopped doing that. I was like, you know what? It's fine. Don't worry about it. Let him tell us fun, tell us stories. You know what I mean? And sometimes he is right.

But, you know, as often as not. Sure, sure, sure. But, yeah, I've tried to go back to not live fact checking people's shows. We used to not be able to check Tom. We used to just have to just be there at the bar, you know? Speak for yourself. Anyway, yeah, we've lost bullshit, we've lost town drunks. It's a shame.

But, oh, well, this modern age, I guess. Only man I knew whose speech got sharper as the bottle got lower. A surprising passion for shortcuts, that, Jasper? Anyone ever suss out if he was speaking the truth or not? Yes. Turns out it wasn't a shortcut at all. But rather, he found himself in Eureka Springs and only thought he was in Missouri. He thought Eureka Springs was in Missouri.

Didn't even know he was in Eureka Springs. Debulon, there is a big old sign outside of that town saying, welcome to Eureka Springs. You know what else is outside of that town? What's outside of Eureka Springs? The Christ of the Ozarks. The Christ of the Ozarks? It's like that shit in Brazil.

You know, Christ the Redeemer, the big statue in the mountains outside of Brazil. There's one of the Ozarks? Yeah. Yeah, we got one too. Yeah. We got one too. Okay, dude, it's amazing. If you, to all my peeps who might ever go to Eureka Springs, which is kind of a fun little hippie resort town.

Like as Arkansas goes, it's pretty cute. And in the fall, it's beautiful. But if you go, you have to go to the Crescent Hotel. It's the old haunted. ass hotel on the top of the mountain. Wow. Above Eureka Springs. It feels like the shining in there.

That shit's real. And you have to go up to the observation deck on the roof and put your little quarter in that little like viewfinder thing to look out over the valley and just take some time to really study the Christ of the Ozarks. Okay. Because you're going to remember that there's not that much that's so important. Yeah. That's amazing. So it's huge. Like it's 20 feet tall.

It looks like a kindergartner made it when you compare it to the one in Brazil. Yeah, I'm looking at it right now. Yeah, see. It's all right angles, you know what I mean? It's all right angles. When I took my friend Kelly there for the first time I took her out onto that roof, she fell to the ground. She was laughing so hard. I was like, I had to bring you here to remind myself that sometimes life isn't so serious, man.

That's right. I mean, you know, of all of the prophets of God, I do feel like Jesus was probably the funniest. For sure. Of all the messias, you know what I mean? He was probably the one who was in for a good laugh the most. I mean, I'm sure they all had their funny moments. You know what I mean?

But he was the one who was like, you know, at the wedding. And he's like, oh, my God, we ran out of wine. What are we going to do? Watch this. Laughing to himself. Right. I'm going to do the wine. don't tell me.

You know, I feel like flipping some tables today. What is the... Is it a statue? The Laughing Christ? You guys want to flip tables? Is the Life in Christ a statue? It is, right? I don't know what that is.

The Laughing Christ? Yeah, I think there's... I think it's a statue, the Laughing Christ. I don't know what it is. See, you're bullshitting now, and Finley is going to look it up on the internet. See what happens? I'm just seeing paintings, but... Maybe it's a painting then.

I thought it was maybe a statue. I couldn't remember. This Jesus is handsome Well, great, that's nice But he's laughing at his own joke That takes like two ways off I think it's unclear I think it's just similar

This head thrown back like laughing, right? Yeah, because he made himself giggle But he might be laughing at someone else Maybe he laughed at Thomas's bullshit You know what? Once upon a time Judas had a sense of humor Right

Right? Yeah. Right. All right, here we go. Speaking on that, we're coming up on it. All right. Now, what was this idea of your... Well, first off, tamp down the noise of these engines. We're going to need those for flying this contraption, dear. Laboosa has done us a service and given us a surplus of good old-fashioned breathing air. I'll use that to move us hither and yawn from here on out. Like Odysseus on the sea, I shall loose the strings on my gutty and unleash the western winds.

You're getting dangerously close to me calling you a windbag, dear. Away we go. Okay, get ready, everybody. Here come to jets. Yes, here it comes, here comes. Here come the warm jets. It's so awesome. Where are we meant to look?

Laboosa told me they would be there in that great red cloud. They drifted into that mess. We're approaching it now. Of course, if there were to be an attack, it would happen right about now. Secure yourself to your seat, dear. I shall. Almost there. Go down to his feet

That's what it'll always make me think of Do you guys remember cats? Kittens is read by kittens. Kittens is inspired by cats. Do you know what I'm talking about? Kittins go down to his feet. Oh, hail. Trap confirmed, dear.

I noticed. Just a few more moments. If we've got them to spare. The sound design is so fucking good. Thank you very much. And I don't want to hear any of that. There's no sound in space bullshit from any of you, okay? Listen, it's an audio drama, okay?

Get an imagination. Yeah, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. It's really the key. Don't worry about it. We're safe, dear. And about as blind as your grandma. We'll hide here and figure out our next move. Whoever this miscreant is, at least he's doing what we expect him to.

To my little corner of the galaxy. My name is Vodnik, and I shall. be your executioner today. How shall we do it? Slowly or quickly. They both have their merits. We appear to have met our adversary. Shout out to Graham Rowett.

This is who's playing Vodick. Graham is, you know, he's one of those guys who is like always posting a picture on Instagram of him in a different costume because he is doing like 12th night in, you know, Branson or something. Like he's just out there. He's just one of those regional theater working hard guys always doing like a musical or a Shakespeare or doing some sort of voice, you know, voiceover job or something like that. He, on the final episode, he recorded that from his hotel room where he was somewhere doing a place somewhere. You know what I mean?

Amazing. Out there working hard. Graham Row. A steel frame sailing through the darkness trying to keep the spark of life from being extinguished. Does he have a plug? That sounds like a fucking peg leg. No, that's Cass. That's right.

With a... Oh, her broken leg. She's limping. Right. Okay. Okay. Because she's got a broken leg. I'm like, Bodnick with a peg leg makes it like...

Maybe too much. Yeah. All right. One. Everyone call me boom boom from now. It's still pretty painful, but I can walk. What did you give me? Nanites.

I'm sorry? Microscopic robots. They're sewing your femur back together as we speak. They're inside me? Yes. I don't know how to feel about that. Consider the alternative. What's Effie up to exactly?

Effie has made the elegant choice to fling herself at the ship. Wonder if that's her. What is she doing? Making a mistake. Kazi? Where's the back door? on this thing. Look for flashing lights. David, go up to the docking port and turn on the landing lights, please. All right. I'm on it. Move. Quickly. If we take another bombardment, she'll be thrown from the

hull. Don't worry too much about that, Kazi. Zebulon's going to try talking him to death. Of course. So, we've chosen the waiting game, have we? Oh, well, it's an uninteresting game, but one that's rarely avoided. Not a bad ingredient to add to the mix, I suppose. you'll stew there in your anxiety for a while. This fucking guy. But there is something through a glass of darkly Zebulon about him, about the way he talks to.

Yeah. Yeah, there's a, there's a geniality, there's a curiosity, you know. Short a phrase, a sort of a meter thing. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. But once that rumor meal got started, it seemed as though Fritz William Weaver was sitting there on the edge of the riverbank,

having long drawn out conversations with catfish about the news of the day. I'm afraid all that modesty won't dissuade me, Pastor. I had no idea I didn't snared such a catch. Well, now I'm certainly no expert on the way things work way out here in the nothingness. Zebulon has got this vibe sometimes. Do you remember an old S&L sketch called Unfroated? and caveman lawyer. Fuck yeah.

I'm just a caveman. Phil Hartman. His name never die. I don't understand things. Your Honor, I'm a caveman. I don't understand how this way. I'm a caveman. All I know is that my client is innocent.

But I don't think one should brag about catching a thing before that thing has been caught. So you're still holding out hope in there, are you? I'm afraid hopefulness is another thing I have a reputation for. Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord. Is that what you'd say? Well, look at that. Words of scripture all the way out here.

Never thought I'd hear it. It's important to know your enemy. My friend, if you've read through that entire, book, and yet still you wait out there to ensnare us in this deadly trap of yours, it doesn't seem to me that you've come to know a darn thing. What do you say we end this now, Pastor? You know you've no way out? The thing that's curious to me is you seem to be putting all of this in my backyard. Surely, if you've the upper hand, you're the one who could put an end to all these machinations anytime. Yet still, I sit here inside this cloud with you out there. If it's to be ended so easily, why not end it?

Are you trying to turn my trap into a trap, pastor? Not sure how I could even if I wanted to. You've seen our vessel. We carry no weapons. You're quite the lazy hunter if you expect the stag to trot right up to your doorstep. Surely you'll need to put A little effort in. I see. So, what is it then? You've laced the nebula with magnetic charges, waiting for me to wade in and destroy myself?

I suppose someone more... Sounding, it's sounding like the ship, all of a sudden like... Sprung a leak. Me? sprung a leak. Or shrewd than I could do something like that. But as I understand it, there, aboard your ship, you have many of our people as your prisoners. If I were to attack you, surely I attack them.

Perhaps you see them as expendable. Could be. But we've just risked life and limb come in here to save the precious few that you haven't captured. Does that sound like someone who sees human life as expendable? Hmm. What could it be then? How do you plan to undo me? On the other end of things, I could just be stolen for time.

I dare you to do a thing you wouldn't possibly do in the hopes that you'll wait, and wait long enough for us to marshal our forces and send them through to defeat you. Could be that as well. Such a manipulative little shit This entire episode, man Just so genial and kind But like in this process You've so far let him know

I'm completely defenseless in here You could totally end this I mean there is the possibility That the army could come through this portal So there is a clock on it So you should probably You don't have to come in here You don't have to

I don't know I don't know what's going to happen Your Honor I'm a caveman You know Un-frozen caveman longer Enemy ship into the nebula And they are looking for us Why did he do that?

It's all part of his plan What is his plan? I'm sure I don't know I'm still not ambulatory Then, my lady, I shall carry thee to thine bed sit This is miserable Up you come It's entirely possible

That Effie decided to do this plan specifically to save Kazi because it would be so embarrassing and terrible for Kazi. And that would be great, a great experience. You know what I mean? She's having way too much fun being the rescue robot, you know? Let's get a move on, y'all.

David, why is the robot from the South? I don't know. Why is it anybody? Amazing line. Great line. Amazing line. Great line. Listen, South, I loved it when I read it The script

I loved it when we did the recording And I think it was you doing it And I loved it when I heard it in production Just an amazing line Good times Shout out to the South Right, my friend I've accepted your invitation

Let's see how long it takes me to find you In all this red mist I wish you the best of luck. No, I'm not sure how anyone finds anything in one of these places. As I'm sure you know, I'll be looking for your thruster plumes. As soon as you use one of your engines, I'm going to see you. I hope you didn't have any plans to escape now that I'm in here with you. Well, now, why would I go through all the trouble of inviting you into these environments and then up and leave?

That's no way to treat a new friend. I must say, this is the most cordial battle I've ever participated in. Hardly a battle, my friend. I have no weapons to use against you. Yes, but you do strike me as the creative type, one who thinks he can snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. At the risk of injuring my modesty, I will admit to emerging from a closet full of knives unscathed from time to time.

What's that story of yours? Daniel in the lion's den? Oh, yes. That's a good one. Is that how you plan on getting out of this? You're going to rely on the beneficence of your God? He's given me so much already, this God of mine. Hard to ask him for more. So often we ask for gifts without looking around what we already have. Take Daniel, for example.

I've always seen him as a man who was very well versed in how not to look like dinner. It's predator and prey, you see. So much of it is how we see ourselves, how we see the other. I'm sure you're seeing yourself as the lion stalking amongst the tall grass, waiting for someone to make a mistake. What happens to that outlook, do you think? when I just call you my friend. If I'm your idea of a friend, you have some truly terrible friends.

I see all people as my friends. Chance and circumstance may separate us, but I will always hope for a day when we all sit down at a great table together as friends. I'd be happy to set a table for you here on my ship. Believe me or don't, but I do hope for that day. Until then, chance and circumstance. Hello? Hello there.

Hi. Kazi told me to come to the bridge. She said you may need some help. Well, that's a wonderful sentiment. I'm Zebulon Mucklewain. I'm Cass. Thanks for the rescue. I'm glad we could reach you in time.

Did you reach us in time? seems like we're still in a pretty bad situation. Improved greatly by your presence, I'm sure. I guess. I'm not much of a pilot. I'm a communication specialist. I'm sure that'll be all sorts of help. Have a seat anywhere you love.

I don't know what that is. I'm sure. It's bound to be helpful. So great you're here. I don't understand any. Your Honor? Cave, man. Do you like?

Tell me whatever you can. Sure. Okay. It looks like he's shut off his engines. I see. Why would he do something like that? As soon as he cut them off, it reduced the EM background noise. Maybe with his engines off, he can listen a little more closely for us.

lying in the tall grass waiting for prey. Sure. Also, if you want to keep talking to him, you're going to have to keep moving. The more you talk, the more he'll be able to triangulate your position. All sound advice, Cass. But if you move, he'll be able to see your engines, just like we could see his. I thought that might be the case. We're making our way through this land of clouds using other means.

What is that? Don't worry about it. Don't worry about what it is. Silent but deadly. Silent but violent? Silent but violent. Silent but violent. We're just making our way on little farts.

You know, when there's just no friction. Just wait until they get a load of this. Who amongst us hasn't tried it in a swimming pool? Can I propel myself Under gas power Through this medium It's science Right

We're doing the science We've done that before When we're walking down the street Next to each other If I have to fart I'll fart and I'll walk really fast For my three steps To get ahead of him

He does the same to me Keep the love alive That's a good bit. To keep the love life. I'd at home make it our way like this. I feel as though I'm steering an old catamaran. Despite the ever-changing world around them, they were often struck by something curious.

That no matter the time or place or the swirling complexities of the worlds they would visit, there was a thread of something simple in all of it. No matter where they would go, there was a sameness to it all. Some things never changed. The most primordial things. Love and kindness, loneliness, and community. The things most desired seemed intrinsic.

Of course, just to be coy, every new world tried to hide its commonalities. But they only saw such attempts as a child in an ill-fitting costume, trying with all its heart to act like something other than itself. The fulksiness has taken them much farther in this world than it in reality should have, you know? So you're saying this is not realistic. I'm just saying if you're a folksie type, you will not perhaps defeat Vodnik is all I'm saying, just with your

folk wisdom. No, let me ask you know what I mean? You all got that Texas background. Y'all got that Texas background. Do you, like I sometimes do, deploy the folksie? It may be a rural, a rural, grocery store situation.

Yeah. Yes. Yes. Sure. In the right situation, you can deploy the folks in us. Yeah. It's useful.

It works. Yeah. Because they can't tell you apart from somebody else. You know what I mean? Suddenly, you're camouflaged as one of them. You disappear in the crowd.

You know what I mean? No, man, if you make anybody laugh, it doesn't matter. That's to me what it is. If you can make somebody giggle, or like look at themselves. Like my go-to move is always when somebody's wearing glasses and I like them, I'm like, those frames fucking rock.

And then they laugh and now we're buddies, right? So that's kind of folksy, I guess. All right. All right, well, I mean, maybe we could all defeat Vonneg then. Good day for it. Yeah. Good day for it. Right.

Hang on, let me get my compressed air. Yeah. Yeah. Here, put this on your arm. Don't bother. The medical stations don't work on me. Why the fuck not? You need a biological pre-sept.

I'm too sexy for the medical station. I'm too sexy for your tech. Too sexy for your tech. It can go to heck. Wow. For them to work. My biology is too. I'll be fine. I just need more time.

I suppose that's what you get for making yourself such a complicated creature. You're saying this to me as an anachronistic earthling speaking from a robot that you have inexplicably possessed. Well, she's got me on that one, didn't she? Effie, how does Zebulon plan to get us out of this? Guilty. Your Honor. Point to the victor. I suppose he'll start by. asking nicely.

And when that predictably doesn't work? You don't know. Politeness can get you real far if you do it right. You've really come all this way without a plan of any con. Yeah, just listen, Vodnick, your glasses. Let me tell you. That's right. Vodd's frames fucking rock.

Is that a chain on there? Because I live that chain knife and it's real convenient. I love the idea of Vodnick having like readers on a chain. Yeah. Like a really tiny, like a little delicate little chain. Like Iron Chef here, Yuki Sakai and his tiny little gold. But he needs a monocle to go with his top hat. No, that's true.

That's right. But he does a chain. He does a chain. He absolutely has a goddily. Oh, it's like a ponsnay or whatever that is. The kind that just clipped to the nose. Yeah, the pin's nose. Maybe.

Or it's pinned to his lapel. Right, right, right. There you go. Or it's like opera glasses with a little stick. He flips him up A little stick on it Well whatever the case He's about to be water goblin

These nuts As soon as Oh I can start with Oh Oh Oh boy Jesus Christ

Oh you're on here Oh Come Turn up your nose so quick We've gotten this far Haven't we You were supposed to get this far Effie

that's how traps work. They should be easy to get into. In a situation such as this when you're walking into a trap, all one can hang their hat on is the incompetence of the trapper and the wiliness of the trapee. This guy does trapee.

Is that a new? Did we invent a word? Yeah, it's the man on the flying trapee. You know, the trap, if you're the trapper, a person being trapped, trapee. I feel like that's,

English language. Yeah. It works for me. New word. We're doing it. It does not see a confidence. Never. That's right.

Yeah. Attention, Mr. Webster. Underestimate a smart man's ability to be as thick as a post, David. Jesus Christ, would you two stop talking in Southern Fortune cookies? David, I have limited you to exactly one blasphemation per day. I'll remind you. Oh, my God. That's two.

You should consider negotiating with him. Offer me as compromise. You can load me in. an escape pod and perhaps he'll let the rest of you go. Seems to me this here, Vodnik, is pretty convinced he can scoop all of us up in one fell swoop. You can't just hear the air quotes when she says Vodnik. This here of Vodnick character. I suppose you're right.

We may have to try and make it hurt. Load ourselves into escape pods. Use the ship as a battering ram. And what are the chances that'll work? What are the chances any of this will work? Ozzie, can you not have a little more faith in me and my husband? Faith is not a strategy. Well, then allow me to transform this conversation from one where I'm asking you something to one where I'm telling you something.

Let's all adopt that. We need to, yes, we need to all start saying this. Allow me to transform this conversation to one where I'm asking you something to one where I'm telling you something. Yes. Okay. inserted in your daily conversations, everyone. Right? Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. You sit yourself there and sew up that body of yorn. And Zebulon and myself will take it from here. Excuse me? What does it mean, der Zebulon? Quick side note should be noted. I never write yorn in a script. It only, it only when it comes out.

I only do it when it comes out. Yes, yes. Julie has full yorn privileges in any script, right? Well, I mean, I've known these. people. I just don't think I would ever feel... I've heard somebody say yorned. I've heard people speak that way.

You've lived it. You've lived that yorne life. Yorne. Yorn gonna like it. It's like the harder version of y'all. Yeah, it is a sub tab of y'all. Because y'all is without question one of the great terms of like group, like human groups, y'all.

It's so useful. It works for everything. Yorn is like the cousin around the barn. Yeah, for sure. Although I did blow our, our friend Kelly, we mentioned previously, I did blow her hair fully back one time when I used. Speaking of folksy,

y'all in the singular when talking to a server who came up to our table said, could y'all get me a Could y'all get me at last ice? To one person. Kelly was like, y'all the singular. You can just feel when it's right. You can feel.

You can feel. You can feel it. Yeah. Y'all, cognac, yorn, arminiac. Yeah, okay. I got a bottle of arminiac right over here. I do like arminiac. Don't tip of me with a good time.

Don't maybe get out my arminiac. It is. another Neal's cocktail corner. Actually, my preferred brandy for cocktails is Armidiac. Oh, is it really? Yeah. Interesting.

Yeah. Look at that. What were we talking about? Anyway, okay, yes. Yorn. Yorn. Yorn. Pribilages. All right.

Goodbye, Zebulon. It's been very entertaining. We're exiting the Nebula. Zebulon, what are you doing? Let's stop with the sneaking about, shall we? Let's hear those noisy engines again. Zepulul. There you are, my friend. I promise to make it quick.

Target the ship and fire. Zebulon, he's going to light us up. Fire, damn it. Fire! Engines, then. What? Safety lock? How? What's happening? I'm sure I don't know. What the hell did you do? What did you do to my ship?

T'was always thus. my friend, but now it is this. Let's head for home, y'all. Amazing. You know, listen, it's hard to pull off, but I really feel like Graham nailed it.

Yes. He doesn't. Yeah. The buildup was great. He built up to it, you know, with his sides to the crew. Lean into the sudsiness of it. You know what I mean? Embrace it. Yeah. For sure. Oh, wine will call wondering who could be. You get my petting, but a dick want to be you.

Really does give me W.B. Frog vibes. There's some W.B. Frog vibes. And this one in particular, for sure. Yeah. There's a lot of hello my baby, hello my honey vibe. Begling. Come in. Boom, boom.

Good morning, man. I brought you balloons. Why? Because it's your first. Where did he get balloons? He's on a ship. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.

Stay back. That doesn't answer my question. He thought it would be funny. That answers my question. Major Williams, how have you been? I've been well, ma'am. How has your recuperation been going? I'm at about 70%.

Good enough to resume my duties, I think. Welcome back. How have things been. Cass has finally met Tita. Yes, she... Tita. She has horns. Yes.

She has one. She's an acquired taste, but an essential one. What else? We've perfected the warp tunnel maneuver. We can now completely dodge energy bombardments from homeworld without losing any ship. Bombardments. Bombardments. That was so hard.

Sometimes he was having a hard time saying bombardments. But you know what? We all have one. Everybody has one that they just hit, like obviously extra judiciously is a big one. Extra judiciously is a rough one, yeah. Judiciously. Sometimes you get stuck in a ditch with a word in particular. And you're just like, I can't get out.

You can't get the fuck out. Yeah, like the word becomes bigger. Rural juror. The rural juror effect. Yeah, so props to Quentin for finally pulling out bombardment. He made it. He made it out. Yeah, he made it out.

Always flying rings around it. Yes. What did he propel the ship with? Oxygen. What color was the nebula? Red. Another thing you'll know once you're out here enough, the red nebulae are made of hydrogen. Okay.

Those rockets on your home planet, the ones you use to get to orbit. What are they fueled with? A combination of hydrogen and oxygen. That's right. He was wrapping the enemy ship in volatile rocket fuel. If Bodnick had been able to fire his weapons, he would have destroyed himself and everything else for thousands of kilometers. So shady. Why didn't Zebulon just say that?

Yes. There are many things I don't understand about this universe. One of the most confounding things, Effie and Zebulon Mucklewain. Technically speaking, like the characters of Effie and Zebulon shouldn't,

like by conventional standards, they shouldn't work, right? Because, you know, you have to develop characters by having them go through these trials and changes and things like that. And so this entire time, the characters of the Muggleweens, I think, stayed compelling

because the way you play it is not like you have to, put them through things, you play it as if it's this slow reveal of them. And you're slowly getting to know the mucklewains throughout the series rather than them changing throughout the series. Right, elephant in a dark room. Elephant in a dark room, what? Feel it.

Yeah, blind men, blind men trying to feeling an elephant, trying to figure out what it is. Well, yeah, okay. Yeah, yes. Not unlike that. I don't think Zebulon even knew what he was doing in that nebula, or maybe he did. I don't know. Don't worry about it. What I do know.

Hi everyone, it's Joe. So at this point, the internet went out, which seems to be happening a lot during shift notes, and I'm wondering if when we do shift notes, the internet just gets tired. Anyway, there wasn't much left in the episode, and then we got back into it. We did it. Oh my God, we did it, you guys. Oh, my God, we made it. Oh, my God, we did it.

Yay. Great episode. You guys are great. It's phenomenal. You know, we were, it was like a billion years ago, and we were just like in a parking lot after the bar closed and talking. And now here we are now.

And it's great to look back on all of that shit. You know what I'm saying? And to be here now. It's great. Mm-hmm. Anyway, thank you for these two characters. They're amazing and I love them. Thank you.

Thank you for them as well. Thank you for being with us tonight. And thank you folks for sending in your questions, for sending in your voicemails. We loved it so much. Okay. Next up is going to be Chapter 50, Some Guy. Some Guy. Some guy.

Who will the guest be for that? The guest will be mean. I am the guest. So everyone, please send in your questions for me, okay? I want to talk the entire time about my acting process. Because that's what I love. Honey, you're begging for trouble. I'm kidding.

If you ask me a question about my acting process, it will not go on the show. So don't bother. It will not be answered. He's willing to answer your writing questions with, I don't know where it comes from. But your acting question, she just won't even post. That's not even happening. All right, not even happening. All right.

Guys, I love you so much. Thank you for being here. Kids, we love you so much. Thank you for listening. And we will see you one week from today with Chapter 50, some guy. And now here is an incredibly long list of names. Good night. Goodbye.

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Murdoch Wang, Caterpillar Farmer. How much fud could a fud-rucker Ruck if a fud-rucker could fuck, fuck! Chimera, Don Moat, the space trucker Chadwick Coden Doyle III, Jody Green, the trans-dimensional traveling

LMt, Monster Senshi, Michael Peters, political nitter, Dance Break! Seasonal Sasquatch silently seeks secret society, so special souls softly sing sweet song smartly striking strong stories.

Physicist, Brendan Shoneman, I divided by zero and now I'm undefed horse is here. Mag Tremmer, James We Met, the listless enjoyer, Miss Maxine, this patron can't come to the phone right now, please try again later, David and Laura Kessler, boy got them honka-hunkers, invisible garrilla, the Mrs. Poland, Zemaniac, Hop loves a thugbot named Francis, and thou, Curiosity is Eating Your Bones, Revolutionary Inclined Ocelot, Matt Howler, Andrew Bear, Marius,

Joa, Butterfly Fox, riot the tranny, the fish did not acknowledge her. Irma the Lama, 27, keep it tight, Chip, Gloria's right hand jack-in-the-box man, Grim Knight, Pike Daniels the Whale, Anthosceles Bethany Maximus Lord of Kingwood, Texas, Ragnar Jensen, Addison Weirdo Wagner, Aroman 0305, Smoke be a Kipper, I'll be back for night breakfast, Titus Kosslov, Ashes of a burnt-out lathe, I'm a Kung Fu Panda on the Wind, Brandon A.R. equals Thor. I love you all. Never forget that, especially in trials, and Laboosa's voice brightens my day. The intergalactic house of cats demand a free Palestine. Electromancer, Cori Sinsis, Surf and Turf Telecoms, I'm a Jin, Red and Dusty with his

garden goddess. Shelby Morrison, Mystic Monster for Chaos N. B. Witch. Ziggy Dreadful. Ravehands Molly. G-Wank, Frank D.1, Rainbow goth unicorn, Rangocorn. Lost Girl Lou, Chris B., Middle American Penguin, Shanna Welch, Crochade Cosmos, Andy the Celestial Penguin, Jackie Orion, Bo Nunley, Arianna Castillo, Carbonated Milk, The Tall Deer that portends great change, Lita Medinger, Marco, Croc the Proper Gator, M, Icky Blurgs, Jay the Erascible, The Magic Committee, Committee of Anything Magical, Theo at Home, Nova the Fuck Accountant is definitely not a tangle. One Intergalactic, year with Big Potato 99, aka the Rat Lady, aka Bumblebee, aka AK-47. Kai, just a little guy. Tina Verden, Mark Naza Warritz, Zinia, the Capturer of Light, Theoretical Chemist, Xavier Dasher, Chris Loves to Read, Katie Machalick, Greg Andrews Lyons, That Girl Gracie, Magnus von Caffinheim, Longtime Lurker, Scooter, The Unlucky Sun, Jennifer Myers, Lady Lazarus.

Sometimes I wonder if pizza thinks about me too. Tom Shin. Caitlin and C.T.'s never-ending podcast adventures. Beans McBamp. Whisper Dan. Mad Mad Mad Max. Keo the Panda Puppy Forklift operator. Ruby Cherries.

But Holen. Justin and Amy Triplett. Jen Sims. Penelope. Ring to the Motas. Gen before. Ander Ho. Time and space too much.

Muffin Madness Cafe here. Meet the Earth Witch. Leah Prime. Gregory Santoro. Not the Fucky Fried Chch. chicken, Robert Drapeza, Sarah Capece, meet Iono, Jonathan Tolbert, Hedgehog Hen, Katie Chambers, Dick Rickles, Chapter President, damn glad to meet you, Samuel Lee, Josatron Prime, Arwin the Freer, throat goat 666, I am your father, Adi Slosson, Inconceivable Kai, Red Rum 916, Nick Waycaster,

Gotham still fucked up, Batman really ain't doing shit when you think about it, no good monk, rye, yes, like the bread, Sarmad Sayad, three pandas in a trench coat, named Bethany, Johnald Grimbus, Matt Knight Bouchager, Gavin Mori, Andromeda, Stephen the Choi, Gloria's Authentic Earth Coffee, Gabriel Tee, Can Someone Find Me the Parmesan? The Electric Tuna and Lady enjoy their sea weed! I did this for fun, Cookie Nebu, Axel Zapata, the Goblins have taken over the Deep Freeze, Bean Dino, Philip Lennox, Hugh Jase, Brian Montgomery, Trev Brax, Ernest Boobingway, The Bard Without a Ballad or a Mallet, Nazo, Platform Jail Mechanism Burn Museum theorist, hold please,

Kayeow, Empress Squishy Face of Greater Catopia, Anna Garcia, Goblin King, Rays of Nope, Kiki's best friend would like to go to breakfast, Yeager Luce, Terry Cadd says, hello, Ernesto, Leaf Tracks, The Rise of Leaf, Chapter 1, Loft Tracks Retires, Sculliver, Sam and Shane, Asoka Likes Hugs, Going Anonymous, V, Ma Dukes, Ooh, Chickadee, Dango Dale, At every moment, in every corner of every possible world, there is always a way home, and it's already found you. Jiao Paulo Lemos, Odd Keep the Sient Lighthouse, the faceless old Bethany who secretly lives in your house, Appalachian Death Queen, Zosifer, Dogo of Doom, Burnt Barbecue Beef Brisket.

It's official, they're called Thigroney's. Kevin Wynens, Just Whelmed, Cherish Hellfire's Hellish Chairfire, Lichen Lady, Midnight Club, Cameron Agnacy West, Knox, Lisa Lou, Emmett Hale, The Triads Baddest Goblin, Emory and Lano, James Miles. Brown Coats Love the Diner, House Chaos and the Critter Cacophony, Ron and Misty Dawn, two souls just trying to order night breakfast in the wrong time, space, and dimension. Guy a turtle, Wayne Barahona, Jesse the Dragon Rider, we will not rest until Puerto Rico and Palestine are free.

Missy's Mom, Pocate Splort, Whiskey Rebellion and Gen Riot's Interdimensional Detective Agency, Altrian Shibu and Griff, Slim Nandy, Gauth, Gin and Brit Adrian Bartolomucci Jonah the gay uncle That one unlucky penny Hornetti Hood's pocket protector

Valkery Storm Patricia Who's always late but somehow on time D.C. Squirrel Kyle the Interstellar Highwayman Shelly Act on the Verge Gail Friend

Rubber Cake Clover the Clown The Sparky Tech Prop the Crocogator Ringleader Volt Jazz Punker Captain Tight Pants and the Companion

Renee N N. Katarina de La Pliya RIP L'E's Waffles The Flouf Wrangler, Aki the Space Druid, Phantom Land T-T-R-P-G-G-Dice, Katea-Plume! Your local blacksmith, on the off-track. Jason, H-Fack Tech for the Diner's Deep Freeze, Glitch the Gamer-Eamer-Earer, Zephyr, Moeller-Montgomery-Foxworth, Merry Face, Luan Cherry, Peppermint Perl, the Interdimensional Space and Tea-Time Witch,

Nicole-Six-4, Amara Salazar, Banjo Buscolo, Gorgeous Possum, Night Breakfast at the Midnight Cauldron, Force for Good-I-I-E. Spirit Nutrition, The Cute Little Dead Girl, CJ's Big Barbecue Bistro for Bethany's, Angel Vasquez, Stephen Raymer, J. Carp Fishman, The Great Goblino, Rookie, AKA Dances with Cats, low oxygen, Save the Mungos, Joji the Birdwatcher, a gackle of gray horses from the top of a sycamore, lilac morcella. Rachel Krimpa has really enjoyed season five and can't wait to hear you all on shift notes. Temporal Hash Brown, Diane Brown, Captain No Sleep, Rubin, eaten, Smedley Peeth Snodgrass III, but please, for the love of God and all that is holy,

call me, Smetty. The Shreveport, Bohannans, C.C.C.C. The Umbrellae's Soschwatch, loads Chekhov's gun and rides to join Bethany's army, din, cosmic ketchup, lack of lifestyle, Christopher Columbus's GPS and Cleopatra's Vape, Bababooie, Flaflofly, Mousy, Hood's Pocket, Gear and Sprocket, Local Repair Cafe, Postmaster General Kwan, Sets me, Blake Busmagian, nitwit 14, roiled way too harshly, DJ Johnny B, Thor Buttox, Marco Montano, no longer doing a bit, shiny fields, Adam Tatchack, Asher, Child of the Sun and Moon, Christopher Wendell, unproductive banana, Paul Clawson, zombie Spider-Man, Bex 823, Antigrpted, Barry Heap, In the Hot Seat, Master Ugway, Dillie is Dallying, podcast junkie,

Futile screaming at the ocean! Fox Hatlin, Dylan Caroni, Pedro Vibresto, Malachi, Julian the Unready, Maple Emily, the gayest library janitor in Indiana. Definitely not one of the bad bushes funding Rebel Bethany's to overthrow the duly elected Bethany's. Scoutmistress and her phalanxagalactic Eagle Scouts. Hexedicimal Bethany is non-binary. Vapis 10's Big Black Gaping Hole. Bruce. Jessica Gygoma.

Jenny the Bear. GER. Sir Dean Thorne. Treech! Josie Jones. Mr. Fibble is very cross. Hote Potato. Dr. Mojo postulates the end list endlessly splintering off as Bethany and Bert Bert

Bert's caboose until its end lists all the way down. Blind time traveler convention date. L.A. Woman the Phoenix Rising. New name. God? No, not him. Jeff Andrew? Sure.

Jeff Andrew. Cup of noodles. Shmizzy Two Shoes. Emmy Bemi. Justin Smollin. Riku 31. Craig Dundee. New type without a Gundam.

Astral C. Ickle me, pickle me, tickle me too. Guy with the chops. Sam. Mitchell Ye. Bagelknife. Emelda and Scott. Lily.

J. Main Masters. Blind Irosta. Ryan K. Not invited. Nate. A.J. Jonesy. Chip. Radio free Rilia. Violin loves MIDI.

Subawasa. The Blue Chair Noble Dog Enjoyer. Grenna. Pistonwhip. Captain Ducky. Satsuma. Dr. Jones. Icey Axe.

Coach Shane of Toad Suc Central. Go Cranes. Sky, Cole Arthur, Lego Cuisant, Norwin Murgler. Did somebody order the Chaos Goblin Supreme hold the anchovies? No, seriously, hold this bag of anchovies, it's really heavy. Joe Kappa, Lizely, Midnight Burger's self-appointed interpreter for the deaf, Latimer Lovelock of the Lacey Lady's Lovely Luguries, Dogma Mom, Weeby Chopin' Brockalee, Ivy the Espresso Daydream of the Trans-Dimensional Cafe,

Blue Tune, a feisty-ass chickadee, poultry landmine, the scrappy, the scrappy poet, Ginny the crypted paladin, maverick artist, shit, it was a mimic, Basil in their tea, waiting to gossip with David, Ainslie, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Engnor, ATB, Kiwi-Lovelybead, Professor Freida, Michelle Spurgeon, Jack the Sleepy, Garrett Henderson, Twote, still trapped, but I've stopped asking why, the freezer is, I am, we chill, son of Defarge, Katie Kotke, give peas a chance, Samma Ding-Dingdong, Lady Sarah Per Whisker Vale, Crafty, Crafty smoking devices LLC, hashtag we weave em of Gossamer. Penny the Wonder Dog and Bucky Von Buckbuck.

Squeaky Squeakerton Squeaks von Squeakerson, the third, even though he's the first and only, aka fake noodle. Medium rare extra toasted bun, saucy Caesar, belt. Aspins my name, being silly is my game. Ava's favorite My Little Pony Pencil wants Joe to slap into a snim gym, Mr. and Mrs. Drifter. Representative of the Alaska Midnight Burger Tummy Time Chapter. Lord Entropy.

Bac Bac Bac, motherfucker, everybody's favorite clown splotchy, kosher steak, flow ride up, Alyssa's shiny pants, Gondor calls for aid, Arnold Rumspringer, the demise of the Temple of Bethany's. Alan Bergland says, Hi Mom, Kitty McSull, Raven Stromdans, hapless novelist passenger of the dimensionally impermanent and temporally incontinent bookshop cafe, the wild-eyed prophet. Tessa Cray. Perfectly personalized disaster.

Lux luminos, Javi De Niro, Big Chunk, Gideens, Sasha, The Being of Chaos, is chilling and eating pine cones with Bethany and the Mungo, Boom Boom's Wooden Leg, Transgressive Party, Jilly Bean, Benjamin, Not Franklin, Tracy Baby, Leah. Is that the Chris Hancock who traded weekly soup for the use of my kitchen table? Bethany in a Greenfield, A-E-I-O-U-Y-N-W,

Bumblefay, Mr. Epsilon, Zach the W, Zach the wayfaring cryptozoologist, long-haired Matt, DJ, Robert W, Breelzeab, Cresemira, Jessa Lauren, Myth and Stitch embroidery, Loves the Mucklewains, Lulu Louise, Dullio, the Brew Crew family, Corey Benson, Bert Ruba, Your Most Benevolent Lord and Master of the Universe, Jeffrey George, Don't tariff me, bro, oopsie, Evelyn, Grimlor, Jenny Wobo, errant popsicle stick, M Horowitz, Isle of Refuge, Jack Spider's Mom, Bubblebutt Bethany has banana breath, llama fresh, Jair the benevolent destroyer, Valtiel Heller, sad little earth monkey, Revin the Red Beard Wizard, Bert Bert, Bert, and the Funky Bunch, High viscosity gender fluid slime,

Bethany 2, Electric Bugaloo, Welcome to the Kwan Pound, Penn, PIN, PIN, PIN, Mr. Mucacho Kaisers-Schnitzel has successfully recruited Sarah Murphy's cats for the Trouble Puffs Fight Club. The wolves in the deep freeze say, awo! Mental Hinge, Sanctuary Moon's Number Two, Furn. Insane Clone Posse Alice Lewis Simply Amy Sue Even Older Liz McBearcat

Astro Your Friendly Neighborhood Android Moonlight Zombie Fox Old Doc Racy The Midnight Missionary Out There Somewhere Looking for you Artist DragonBio

Big BigGarage Bill Zangana Lester Big MF Juice the SIP Muffins Spacewives Tell your cat I said A Ppspsps Pips Peeeeee

Banana Manaz A corky Cold Kibble Cudley Crackin, Sarge the Bard, Sominity, LL Cool Mint Jams, Travis Robertax, Maudecats, Mondeau, K-7-35309, Kinn Daddy, Leah Aizotti, B-Camp, Shanman, Man Man, Karma, Camillion, Kinran says thank you for being you. Briar Longlost, Daniel, Trixie Bell Dubois has always relied on the kindness of diners, Dr. Boudiologist, the glutes doctor, Shelby well, B. lives forever. Thank you for pressing two. Your anglophone emotional support Canadian request

will be processed in the order in which it was received. Queen Sirley Jess, R. IP, Lance McLean, you would have loved Midnight Burger. Dr. Bichcraft, Sassy Cat the Space Vixen, Claire Rock, Jekka, the size two fish you've been looking for, Eokai, Borgia, spiders are cuddly, the main immortal pinball sounds in the diner. Cheel! Neal! Sin City Scuba Steve, Polywag, Michaela White, Elena Pickle. Wilbur, you know, with all the W's and the horse name Ptoos, was looking for a red knell, but has been distracted by a rather fetching blue one. Professor Thaddeus Snookhams the 8th.

Mr. Grin. Glenn Petrovsky. This moment of silence so Joe can catch his breath is brought to you by Rick Tyler. Elizabeth Hammond, CheapCon, the real CheapCon, except no imitations. Actually, never mind, go ahead and accept other cheap cons. I'm sure they're good folks. Steam Vision, conductor of the interdimensional time-spanning hype train. Dave Harold, WiseCube.

Bro Mine, pronounced bro, mine. Main Humdinga! Fiona now owns Laf's 18-inch Peter. Sealface. Rigor Mortis. Megan's Things Megan Makes. Coy Lane. Trebex Reject.

Prophet of the God of the Mucklewains. Darth Ox. Michelle Kay Comes in Peace. Aaron Arnold. Boyo yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-y. Mamamamander B. Raz and Sluntmaster Jay. Alpacalypulips. Butters is a goblin, and the gnome has disappeared.

Undead Akira, the Lord Reverend, Ryan, Thomas' tenibus Tance Taffel-Tippers, treacherously tantamount to telling totalitarian trope termination tales. The lovely Laura Lovely, Kith Gamgee, Sam Wise's Flamen Cousin, Darile, Jeremy the ruler, Gochi, Robert Charles Darwin III, Esquire, Ph.D, Jacob Mitchell, Zeke in the Box, Stevie Crow Hill. Olamil, of the Welcome Wagon, says, Eccable. The Adventures of Magpie and Brown Bear, Scrubs, Joe in the Snow, Just some guy from Adelaide named Ryan, Remy, the Panda Crew, Melody Prime, Beardo the Wizard,

Captain Benjamin Hawkeye Pierce the German short-hair pointer from Nashville, wants to tell his mom Maddie that he says, woof, whiskered, Marissa the ghost, Et My Dust, Rutherford B. Chesterfield and his dapper companion, Winchester, Cheshire Corgi, Stray Cat, Old Kelsey No Shoes, Zoldia, Dizzy Flame, We've served everyone, eventually. Beth and Alan Van Gillis. Langston North. The constantly lost geographer, Timothy Aiotis. Chance wants you to know he cares. Wolf-Stark. B. B. Muginty and her pack of rescued demon dogs. B. L. Zabub, Lucy Furr, and Abby Normal if you want to know. Elliot, Hobbs de Co., Chantey, Natalie Bartlett,

Rory of Yin, Mooby the Golden Calf, Suda Satoshi, Giovanni Salinas, Rocky G, Perry the Pirate, Aaron Elizabeth, K Narcotics, Solomon Price, Bubba 484, aka Shemelbach the Christmas Whale Stella Corvus, Jesus Garcia, JP the IT guy, Candyman Fight, John Peters, you know, the farmer, Barclay on the Holodeck, dapper Dad,

SCP-049, O Magis, Raven the Dreamer, TK Turtle King, Mike M, space-based lasers, Captain B and Lady G with their swabs. Marla Madam Lotus still especially loves Finley. Mr. Steamwave, my friend the rhino says, Be nice.

M'AWP Challenge. Dream Founder. I'm your Huckleberry. Elizabeth T. T. Tai the Wonder Hamster and her dear darling Duke. Gus, boombastical Kim Licker. Coco Yumi can only think of them as... Hot Pockets. Hug a muffin. Big Foot of Doom. D.L.

Annie Atkins. A bounty hunter called The Crandy Man. Gero. Our cats say to tell you. Meow. Think fast, chuckle nuts. Flash banged. Benjamin Ortiz.

Mr. Frog. President. Pop-Rock Quicksand. Mr. Squizzle-Sizzle-Wizzle, The Horrendous, apologizes for conspiring in the Bethany War. Invites for Tea are being sent now. Um-quam.

Mr. Rage. Spooky Spader's Storytime. William Kent. Andy. Xavier Killingsworth. Lane Kiffin is a ho. Mimetic hygienist. Aaron Star Joshua Damien and Sentinel of the Star System.

Claude DeClaus. Spunky Dan. Ed Boy. Ryan Finnell. Booia Hippie. Jonathan Kay. Pearl Null. Petabyte Avatar.

Tugwin the Mighty. Super-Sayan Deadpool Bob Project Octopus, Ken, Chibs 1012, Scotty Oates, Beirotron 95, The Bracken System and its homeworld Wren, Simply Tony, Hey Joe, thanks,

This is some of the best money I've spent. Gabriel Kestion. Whom, what, when, where, and why is what all Figuoni say while listening to Midnight Burger. Sir Party Animal. Uloid Jackal. Ari, you sure, Mike Rob,

the Nancy Sinatra? Court need to leave it alone if you want to live. Must be a witch. Positive buzz network. Mithagroney has a first name. Stombinstein L. Moustachio. Lucifer Hezekiel. Lachiazzae, Lachie Wrava, Brava, Cic-Cecellorne, Cawr, Crosk, Cicor's Mawr, Crosk, Cicor's Mop, Scout, and Foxglove says the floor is lava. Unxedly Blue, Red Now. Curdomski, Plastic Fork. Dulcetche Studios presents, Under the Truscan Sun. Get out of Mbooth. Bug. Propagator, I hardly know her. Sad, angry crab band, Chuck McFenley, Effie and Zebulon's trans great-granddaughter Hazel Hayes,

Velocity Girl 42, Little Dragon, and a Cauldron of Bats, Ben Carlisle, Flat Steve's love for grand theft, Anna Kearney, patio-taught assassin, the four schnauzers of the apocalypse, Starblaze Burnbright, Imzukioki, Spotted Rhino's mom wants everyone to remember who they are and that they are loved. Red Mafia Panda, Lonely Isle, Kai Dallow headphones, Hinkle, Pikeman Stover, Fondella Stover, Pikeman Stover's wife, Scrizzles, Thwap, Kitty, Kitty, the Firekeeper, the end is die! Jeremiah the canceled, Nyatt, Spike and Faye, Johnny Ellen West and the boys from the dwarf, Speedy Big Speedy, Eli, chaotic bananas in four low, Brandy McGunter, Auntie Becky Becky is now owned by five rescue cats, speckled unicorn, Jedi rides again with Nova the Space Pirate,

Forget normal. Oh, damn! David Chapman, C.J. Johnson, a dragon sitting on its hoard of dice. Wendell Whitaker, Chumbo Wombo, Ficichu, Fecchio, Smivey, Glowbed Roulette, Andrew Fuller, Ban Me Hung, the Soup Witch, Fettysini Alfredo, Pebbles, VV, V-V, Fee Rawlings, Philip, Your Dad is Not Your Dad, Nick Borrow, Midnight Plummer,

His Royal Highness, Mr. Hamilton Underfoot Kitty the First, and accomplice, Princess Penelope, the Marchioness of Mischief and Maven of Mystery. gentry, Mr. Cherry, Our Ass is in the Jackpot, Tubby Teddy, Wayne Heiser, India Inkblot, Sleve of Bahamut, the Jossmic one, Zero Drag Neal, Leader of the Ark Nights, Ghost Emoji, Fred and George, Ava Maddox Jr., Liza Worth, Cass Williams, Yeat My Boy, 46 Toolshed 2, an L. Marie catastrophe, the image collector, blended music, Ruthie loves her girlfriend so dearly, Lizzie R, sitting squirrel, Patricia E. Melt says, in a world of slugbots, be a hugbot,

Red the Gray, The Silver Crow, Couch Potato Alex, Neverchild, Dr. Nossos, Interdimensional Biologist, Kiboko Dunord, Cosamine, Theodrax, Nicole, Joey B, Lucas Barting got his dad to listen to Midnight Burger, Little Debbie Cupcake, Terran's Story Corner, Sandlewood Mountain offers peace for your soul, whimsical fuckery, Megan with an H, we've been trying to contact you regarding your time-traveling dimension-spanning diners extended warranty. Patricia the Time Lord, Mango Connoisseur, The Big Boose fell down the stairs while drunk, The Old Glory Cole,

G.L. Miao-Nays Cat Butler, O'Sheen, Alex Berry, Avalon, Asymmetrical Exile, Three Pandas in a trench coat named Bethany. Magpie Cat wants to know why the Pandas named their trench coat Bethany. Churro Cat the Sun God, Jonathan Johnson, Lindsay Bowen, the goddamn podcast lawyer, Alex Spence, Dr. D. Birdclaw's Weather, and Mrs. Dubai away birdcloth's swather want to say hello to the whole spweather family

mushroom me to the astral plane angry Ron Dominus Caesar dirka dub Gloria's ex-girlfriend Kelly Clickspring most likely Cass James Harlow hopes to find midnight burgeronies Jasmine James dr. Cabarant also known as Omni thanks Waffle Chateau Colorado beekeeper fruit cake Stumpy Stumpy Stumpy Stumpy Chef Steve today's special Dijon Mayo combinationh anatha Zendrrr-ya. Jennifer Colkins, Midday Burger, Throat Goat 666, oh my God, my dad found out about my Patreon name. Princess Leia-Bea-bobea, Fana-Nana, Fofaa.

September, previously observed in the pattern. Prime Freak, Protector of the Scottish Realm, Little Lord Stevie Pie, Droid Pirate Finley, and his Rubin-esque parrot. Droid Pirate Finley and his Rubin-esque parrot. Sea Squatch. Deflater Mouse. Tony Piacarsky, Adrian R, Dana, Crazy Thieves. Sadly, Crimulus is just happy to be here.

The Twisted Twigster. Real Housewives of Seagius. Upshnart, the Probability Demolition Expert. For My Mother. CCTX Girl 6823 waiting on the diner. Nicole Studioso. Sign my deleted email. K. The Flying Penguin honks at the horde of Bethanies encroaching on their nest.

Honestly, this is getting absurd. Truck Stop Sandwich, Indigo Escargo, Love My Captain, Joe Mauma, Wondering Biscuit. Hi, my pseudonym is Castriff. And after years of my name, After years of training, I am finally ready to join the Bethany Wars. Hey, where is everyone? Wickedly awkward wise woman, Retro M.G.

Come Mr. Talleyman, Tally me Lanna-Banah. Utrud and Rose's Viking Void vitals, fueling the intergalactic fight against fascism. Yeah, not sure what I'm doing. River Brown, Senior Deuce, Scullacy, Warped Writer, Tim Nacey, Ruben Clamzo, Turwin, Morgan Brockman, Sylvie, Friendly Neighborhood Fire Protection Engineer, Skull Bulb. Dustin Watson, Betty White 813, Randy Supreme and Queen Lancaster, University of Willumaloo, chapter of Ada Beta Pi.

That other cheap con guy is right. Go enjoy any cheap con, they're all great. Ho, ma mama. Glorbnar 7, now granting refugee status to victims fleeing the Bethany Wars. The other Adele, Chef Gal Val, Trans Chef of the True Trans Traveler welcomes all lovers of food. Leah Hall, Sarah May. Ziko!

Ebenezer Boo. Caleb Tumiyala, Jason Woods, Arnie Arbuckle Esquire, Potion Maestro, Nebula Nell, Regulators, Mown Up, Mad Yogi Eileen, a cat named M, Petito Pato, Palace. I am Annie, I live forever in every moment I've existed. I swear to every star in the cosmos, I never forgot, it was a gift, the Stone Fox. Tricia Schaefer says, Ew, David, that is not a taco. Sylvia, Papitos. Boom-Hower weapons accepts no responsibility for the massacre at Joey Pantaloons 10th birthday party. We remind all customers to verify your cart at checkout. Henry the Goose, Jennifer Baumer, Ninja Grim Reaper, I am a bomb till I think of something better to do. Burit Words.

Grandma Flusi, Hot Shot Huntley, Momos Mama, Satin Void, Ivy Paisley, Toast, Sue Watts, That Wacky Aunt, Myrtle, Caitlin, Leader of the Unicorn Revolution, Fenwick, Matlock, Lord of the 13th Sea, Printing with Cats, Calisi Del Mar, Von Vega, Dixie Dina, KBS 10C, 17. Sarah Jack Sparrow Space Pony, Debbie E. Ronnie Porter, Gloria's Linecook, Eagle Rock Lobster, Cudell, Ferell, Emily with two E's, Spaceman Nathan, Jackie Wavelet, Yayoi Gagarin, Royal Punk, a Gremlin with the Munchies, Michelle Scarachio, Genuine Jacob, Leopard Donut, Poofee Thang, mellow Nuggets, Keychain Crap, Steelo, Bumbling Lily Bee, Quertie, a quick pause so Joe can sip from his tiny tea cup. Okay, look, this episode is already running late, and I am out of tea fact.

I feel like I've said all the T-facts. Anybody have some T-facts? Panda. Kennedy Allison Farner. Tristan Stolls. Daylin Y. Shadow Rapture. Yet another Nicole.

Hank the Wonder Lama. Arcraft, Russell. Ornamentalamental Hermit. Jay to the Lynn. Just a regular fox. Jeremy Impson. What the hell? Cineplex.

And all the black people in North Carolina. Just Rachel. Waffles, Waffles, Waffles, Waffles. Waffle. Atlas Bear. Patty the Ginger and his Bethany-Slaying Ginger Army. It's just Rache. Hugh Biffed it.

A. Zeus. Anaphylaxis, scab with comtacks. Freak Show and her boyfriend say, Joe, you've done it again. A goddamn harpoon. The Kells fights with the Bethany's, Angry Leafs Lasersaw, Magnus Aerochill, Amy Perry, Christophirky. Source decay, descendant of the Spweather Catfish Whisperer. Skexas, Vagabond Mary, Randy's Amigo, Bold Mouse, Grimlock, Katie Mermaid and the Delinquent Duo, Nauman, Nicole. Victor Schauberger reincarnated as White Mountain Hills. Billy Glitter Cupcake, Max Danger's, Security Chief Shatsy, Setsuna Luna, and the Bag Lady Nurse. Nea Nia Nix Reno, Frankenator, Thay Nortelbash, Tay 8th anniversary, Andrea, Craig loves you mare, then Midnight Burger, and you know Thon's a high bar. How good was Thon Beef

Wellington last night at Glasschew? Jordan, Arwen X. Pulasko, Ryan Rosinski, average height, medium rage. Audio Monkey, Joe, Team Hafeovesen. In the Mysterious Azeh-HQ, I'll grant you that we have a multiplicity of Mike's, a jumble of James's, a trifecta of Tony's, one of whom still wants to be Laif, but sadly, no Bethany's. Rowan, Thady of the Black and Herald of the Stars, pickle pancakes, Ryan Burnett. When someone tells you they are born again, request to peek at their newest belly button. Dr. Dr. Dr. B, Zoprez and the Bumble Army. Growing into my farm boots, Superbeth becomes an RN, alongside my bootst-up farm friend.

Geneva Boss, Brothers of the Cosine, Uncivil Nomes, the Rat Queen Evelyn, Great lunch conversation. Captain Scott. Local kajoo. He was a shifty one that Nick Howard. Kinger was here. Bobby Ray Winland Jr. Bibop Bidababodoowap, Warped Echoes, Slabs, McTurps, Lord Robert O Tartis, He's Bigger on the Inside. Jeremiah Franco, Justin, The Nick of Time, Gothic Rainbow, So We Made It, Cody Baclure, Eternal Companion, Jingalos, Aris, Goddess of Nobody, Has Matilda, Ditsy Bay,

Kyle Church, Lorot, Static Ego, Some Fucking Swamp Wizard, Lolly, Evan M. Dobson, Dave B. Nabi, your friendly neighborhood pathologist, going to be lit. Captain Emerald L. Wayne Hall, Danny Mars, externally screaming. But Bethany, I made biscuits. Colorado Southpaw, Skibow, and Fuzzle McMurber Nets. Calisa Crash loves Neelick's Tiny Wolf. Christina Sinait is teleporting.

BRB. Shane Robertson. Definitely not an android. Seriously, I'm not. The Wandering Welshman, Whatever Tabby. Carolyn Harper. Nikolai Tolkachev. Z3DT, Shy Sparrows, BLTN, the Kiwi Duckling, Dana-Dena-Bobana, Fifi Fofena, Tequila Mockingbird, Spoither Goose flying south for the hiatus to wait for next season.

Dammer in the Space Goblin, I so pale. I am Lord Zoltan, here be roar. Pocket Ghost Max, Mags the Conqueror wants you to get out and vote while you still can. Damn it, Derek! My cat's name is beef. Katie Kate, get your colonoscopy, Victor Casados, Emily Schmeli, Autumn Steinmetz, Cody Monster, Miss Nixie, Baby Baton Lee, Charlie Rudel, A.K. Sid the Sloth on a bike. Priya Gandhi. The Wondering Mermaid would like you to know that the little mermaid, the creature from the Black Lagoon, are the same exact story. Lil Stevie Pie, Green Mountain Hermit, Two Polar Cat, aka...

Phoenix. Carl, the teller of Dad Jokes, Skylab's Multidimensional, Multifasic Intergalactic Quantum Cyberverse. Verdi Sol, Galen Miller, Tess, Geriatric Youngen, Mystic Hippie, Unforkable. Local Marshhag, Daniel Nitz, Mavis Bacon's, Joe Swayshin, The Wizard's Supercalifragilistic Expeyalid. Too many gins says things are bad, but we're going to win. Then Stina says, thud tweed, enigmatic catbird, Countess of Carbon, dot, dot, dot, need I say more?

Luminous Elk, Rodean caution, love is for the Nierds. Captain Crash on the surviving crew. It's just Tyson now. Quote says, Joe is the writer's room. Nasty Dog 74 needs crew for ship. Brown Coats O'K.K. Devon 777. Troy Aker. Mandy Kane. Northernly Kay. Lost Basan. You know the moon prison outside the triad.

Kim Sel. Silly Goose, honk, honk. Ad Matha. Tanya Evans. Ghost Sabrewolf. The Sleepy Mistry. The Sleepyenne, Rupal Atrades. It's Just Steve. Sweets Martinez. RuPaul Atreides. My father, the milkman. Amanda Short.

Chut. Brimble. Dydra. Bourbon on ice with Mike Whiskey and your friend Frosty. Benbar. Sven the Unlike. Ted Wasannasin, Vyrescia, Theosis the Theolognish, Fernwood Gal, Nellie G, Twinkle Tots, Gemini Sky, Tarnish Night, It's a, it's a fucking dog rapture. Abigail Yodelah, He-hoo, King Humble, We'd Better Asked Dave, Windchimes for Safety, Cameron Winterborn Welsh, McKinsey Duna, Alexe Ghabaniera, Code Stranger, One Batty-Tibet, Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Matt N, N, Alfie Revanurum, Momunekiki, Frelp, M-Lp, Frelin, Feed Maffish, J-Mafish, J-R-R-R on S-FP, J. Spark, Lil Mira leopard paws, Diet Night, Mars Royalty, Crisis Ashling,

Maisie's Bandstand, Kim Bob, Battle Pope and Bugaboo, Snorts Maggorts, Fresh Squeased, Patrick Holt. Hold it now. Hold it now. Hold it now. Hit it. Had it. Hoot it. Bradley Ashby, Peter. William Dyer, Vicky A Bear, Jane, Hannah Dale, Phantom Zone, Crystal Delightful, Gruntled, Hillshot Betty and her steel-eyed bow, Jackie Lowie, The Little Pigeon, Quentin Elizabeth Jones, crazed bear. Does anyone want any of these apples? Because Dr. Lattish Trash Angel has way too many and needs to start canning or some shit. Crafty Lizard be knitting. It's not rocket surgery. Megan the Meg Young. Corrie Morose, Russell Bunny, Max Savage, Jenny Wren, Apprehensive Craig, Tim Araneta, Bacon, Nicole Studioso, Rambo, Chaos Squatcher, Mary Kirby, Kirsten, Sarah Farmer, Still a Firm Belie in Estelle, Crittle, Twilio, Heidelberdy, Deep Six, Roshmi Vincateh,

McClump. Azana the Leathersmith, Salazar the Doe Mage, Hayward's finest, Garin Elizondo. To my little, you'll always be my good girl. You took a piece of my heart and left a paw print on my soul, till we meet again. Sir Schitts-A-Lot strikes again, damn, Ashton James, Elspeth, Skyland,

ALR, sidewalk jam, Tonka 2005, Cruzen B. Anthony. Twix says weirp. Welcome to Tibbles Corner, everyone. Today, surviving hiatus. Allie Frog, Tray the Turquoise Tortus, Tallinn Lawson, Freya Titminton's, Courtney the Frogologist, Corey and Stephanie celebrate 20 years of marriage. I love you, babe, may we celebrate 20 more. The Fon Tucky Wrangler, Scrimbrulee, Yay, Aaron, The Singing Loon, Zuzana, Celeste Yose.

I'm so Antigoney fun. I'm Ava's evil twin sister, Bethany, Katie and Noah, Hendrix the Stink, the Ambergler, Boodles, Osvaldo Simione, Ashley Chapel Peoples, Ryan Ortega, Barbarian Bloodbath, The defenestration of Ted's. Shadow Daddy, Rubius Fuzzlebutt, K. Mack. Ranja. The something-something detective agency. Hyabuda.

Eli the Electrician. Sunny Dianomily. Charmey. The wondrous methasophon. Hashtag Nisan Accura. Finnegan Robert. Befer Frankfurter with their Dixon dirt. Samira, Mother of Cats.

Flat Doug. Deary Darling. Ambient Drifting Man 80. Nicole 23. Gracefully impaired. Tired pirate muffin. Steve King loves Kathy. Laura.

Big Steve P. Roman Ronan, John Pruitt, Camel Pope, Philomena, Rebecca Trossel, Ig Pei, Attenle. Not so much another thing, still just Chris from Tacoma, the real fairy godmother, Alphonse, Baron of the Gingerbread Woods, commander of the Great Wobble, high steward of the Black Separator, member of the ancient brick collegium, Mitzi Lou, Kelsey Home, Damien the goddamn time lawyer, Matt Mosby, St. Fu, Harry Fishnuts, Astronoib, Magnos the Civil Gnome, Starlight, David Pierrini, Techno Ranger Rick, Virgo Ares Infinity, Best Buds Danny and M, Charles Q Choi, a bug named Nat, Cicryry, Hunter B, Rudra, Death the Kid, Big Whiskey, All Cockinator.

Ron was here, Magic Pony, Robert Olivari, Jess Gioia, Killer Odd, Dr. Punt Cusher Esquire thinks the last of his doppelgangers were addressed. Mermaid of the Dark Seas, Incorrigible Ross, SCRB Mark Eleven, Maggie's Yarm, Stu, Enthonyonymy. Haunt. Purple Saline. Three legs are perfectly good. Anomalous death to PSL Vandal. Fuck Ice. Captain BLEP. Ryan. Evie Power. Terry. P.J. says what? Amelia Lucero at all. Fear now doesn't polish the shiny melon. Blargo, blargo. Tonight at 11. Lorak the barbarianess. Hicks Bezzie mates. Zellus pragma. Tuba Rick. It's just Blake. Alice Malice reminds you to take your medication, please. Your health is important.

Michael Card, Sir Cat Dad, Kelly Jane Dankey, Thomas Stolen, aka Casper from another universe, Chadney Ashra, Lucrezia, Thornis Animator, Tamara Oliver, The Real Dirt Fairy, Marissa. Eva, no doubt that, Eva, the one within... Grimm, says, rest in peace, Jamie Ba, you are my light, and the world is dimmer without you in it. Zaki Nat, the technician, underwater Corvid, Spisorinkum, Snakes and Bakes, Michael Christian, Diaspora, Grawlix in Terrobang, Tucka Ruckus, My Dog a Dog a Dog, My dog, my heart for 16 years and always. Om Vega.

Dances with burritos couldn't make the last night breakfast, but hopes everyone had fun. Squirrel on a ledge. Ony Rose, Jackie Wavelet, J.R. the Hiker Bear, Al Cave, Krusty McBeard Face, Malaran, Sweet Michelle, Kara, Call Me Zen, Calibri, Mel Maumburg, Rogue, Lisa Geisler, The Dread Pirate Fred-Burger, What the Chuck, Sonor Nasuno, Sonor Nusena DeRuso, Gen Extranius, Inky the Cracken,

Azula the brave and their ever-faithful squire Grab Thar, Pichy Zatouichi, Dancing Dog Dreams, Late Indeed Again, an existentially exhausted being.