Midnight Burger - Welcome to the Horizon 2.6: Scorpion Bowl

Episode Date: March 24, 2026

"Today... Someone’s going to try and kill me."Trinket - Camille SmickerMinsky - Jason LambertGeeGaa - Randi SpearsBattlepope and Bugaboo - Mike ThomsTavrok - Ian FergusonLeif - Tom MoormanVerge - Cat BlackardDeidre - Tina CaseMaloo - Summer BrigoniJune - Melody BridgesSnorts MahGorts - Jesse TilleyFrank - Benjamin BurdickDoug - Keith CableCeleste - Cooper ShawLibuza - Shelly DarringtonEldin, Sluggo, Francis - Joe FisherThe True Trans Traveler - Alice MaliceWritten by Joe FisherDirected and Produced by Joe Fisher and Finlay StevensonTheme music by Ian FergusonClub music:Watch Me Step - rh3a bluuRead and search Scripts with PodScripts: https://podscripts.app/For more information on our show, visit our website: https://www.weopenatsix.comSubscribe for early access, ad free episodes, additional content and more!Subscribe on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/midnightburgerSubscribe on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midnight-burger/id1537653218How about some merch? https://www.midnightburgermerch.comFind and support our sponsors at: fableandfolly.com/partnersSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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from the Magic Tavern wherever you get your podcasts. But I was advised to the time early. You were advised. Yes. Trinket, by any chance, were you advised to come back early by a deck of tarot? There's a saying where I come from, may you be blessed by the world breaking you. May you survive the blessing and break the world. Wait, is that just a big bag of oats? Yes.

You're pouring out a bag of oats right now. Yes. Oh, God. The explanation for this is going to be really something, isn't it? Laugh all you want? This is what I do. We might need this very soon, though. Well, I understand, but without all the proper testing infrastructure,

we're going to need to take our time to do this responsibly. Yeah, but big day. Drink it. Drink it, drink it, drink it, drink it, drink it. No, no, no, no, no. Where am I? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Is someone there? Hello? Hello? Where am I? Where? What is this place? You see a place? Yes. What's your name? Trinket. I like that name. I'm Labusa. Hello, Labusa. Where am I? Can you tell me what you're seeing? The shore of an ocean?

Can you not see it? I don't really see things. Can you tell me more? Uh, an ocean. It's dark like the sun is either about to come up or has just gone down. That sounds nice. Can you tell me what's happening? Where are you from, Trinket?

Well, Oregon. What is that? I mean, Earth. You're an earthling. Yes. It's rare for you to be where you are. And where's that? Sure, how to explain it.

Give it a shot. Okay. On Earth, you like to race cars? I guess. When you're in the car, you look forward at what's right in front of you as you travel along the road. Right. But now imagine you're in the middle of the track. You can watch from the outside, seeing the cars trying to navigate the turns.

Okay. I think I get it. You're outside of time and space right now. Holy shit. Laboosa, am I on the astral plane right now? I'm not sure what earthlings call it. People where I'm from would call it. I'm sorry, it's been a while since I've spoken my native language.

The Ushpnaut. So you're not, you're not like a spirit guiding me or something. No, I'm another mind like you. And we're meeting here. on the astral plane. That's not a bad way of looking at it. As I walked along the beach, I could see moments from my life. Yes.

You're on the outside looking in right now, so you can walk through your past like it's a museum. It's wild. It is. And if I keep walking along the beach, do I see my future? No, I don't think so. Every mind sees this place differently. To you, it's the shore of an ocean.

The shore is your life from the past to the present. But if you look out onto that dark ocean, that's the future. That looks pretty foreboding. That's on purpose. It's very dangerous to travel into the future. Why? The future has infinite paths. Behind you is your single path.

You can get lost very easily. This is a pretty big deal for me, Labusa. Really? Oh, yeah. I mean, people like me work our whole lives for a glimpse of a place like this. This is kind of the Olympics for me. Olympics? Well, never mind.

Are you some sort of shaman on earth? Yeah, that's one way of looking at it. Can you tell me more about what you see? Before I discovered how to reach this place, I used to study people like you. Well, I can't see where the sun is, but there's this other light too, far off that way, like a lighthouse. Tell me what a lighthouse is. Well, it's like a tower on the shore. It shines a light so that ships won't run aground, but it... I think it's moving.

It may be another mind like yours. It feels familiar, though, but I should go there. I should see what it is, right? Can I give you some advice? Sure. I wouldn't spend too much time here at first. It's easy to get lost. Lost. Okay.

Speaking of which, I should go. Wait, I have so many questions. I know. Where are you now? Well, right now, I'm sitting on the floor of my shop. And I'm on a starship, very far away from you in a very dangerous place. I have a lot of work to do when I come here. What are you doing?

I have to go into the ocean. You just told me that was dangerous. It is. But over time, I've learned how to navigate it. Are you going to be all right? I will, but don't worry about me. You should probably head back. Any other advice before you go?

I don't know. Like I said, it's strange for an earthling to be here. For now, I'd just work on remembering things. Remembering things? Yes. When you get back, this will feel like a dream. You'll have a hard time recalling anything. Try and hold on to as much as you can.

Write things down as soon as you wake up. Okay. Okay. I will. It's nice to meet you, Trinket. You too, Labusa. Be careful. I will be.

Maybe we'll meet again. I hope so. Whoa. Hello. I hate this goddamn phone so much. Hi, Eldon. Calling to check in, you'll need to keep an eye on things in town. I know.

Let me go over the plan one more time. Okay. One second, though, I have to write down this crazy dream I just had. Oh, for fuck's sake. All right, boys, I think today is the day. The day for one, boss. Please enlighten us. There are our unfortunate guests here yet?

They just arrived. Wonderful. Salutation. Our apologies for any tardiness. Well, well, well. Freezer pop and jerky chew. Welcome back. I trust you've gotten all the ice out of your veins.

It was touch and go for a minute there. I don't mind saying. We were hard pressed to get warm, standing in the dry plume. Whatever. Against my protestations, our employer has allowed you two to go on a little redemption tour. My vote was to send you back to wherever the hell it was you came from, but the boss's word is the boss's word. We appreciate the opportunity to put a little shine back on our names.

Ain't no way we'll be caught unawares again. Only time will tell. Morning boss. Giga. Oh shit. Rocket pop and freezer poo. Surprise you guys are showing your faces on Raxias again. They've been given the rare second chance by our employer.

Congratulations, boys. I'm sure you'll fuck it up somehow. That's the spirit. Where do you need me? I need you on tactical today. Keep an eye on all the feeds. Got it. If you don't mind us, ask.

Seeing us how we're on the low rung, on various poles. To what task are we tilting towards today? I'm glad you asked. It's a very important day-to-day people. Please bring your A-game. Today, someone's going to try to kill me. Almost there. Three more.

Now. Nice. Now I reduce the flame and we temper the blade. This shit's phenomenal, Tassel. I haven't gotten back to basics like this in a long time. I'm beginning to understand the earthling concept of hell. Good morning. Is there some rule that says sword-making can't happen in the afternoon?

You must work when your arm is the strongest. Cavrock didn't know what he was sitting on. That meteor shower that almost killed you guys brought in stuff from all over the system. He's got a pile of ore back there with much better carbon levels than anything on Earth. The sky has given me a great gift. How exciting. fellas, I don't care. What's for breakfast?

I slew a deer with the sunrise. Look at that! I love this guy! He slew a deer with the sunrise! Well, at least the menu's better out here. It hangs on the spit by the woodpile. Thank you. Sorry to disturb your hammering.

Good morning. Oh, hi, baby. How are you holding up out there? Well, you know, every morning I wake up to the boys banging on their fucking swords. Seriously, how many swords does one guy need? How many knives do you have again? Eh, touch.

I miss you. Oh, I miss you too. This is stupid. It is stupid, but I get it. We discussed this about 5,000 times. This is all for the best. We can discuss it 5,001 if you want to. With either you or Lave being Minsky's target,

it's important that you be removed from the general populace for the time being. It keeps it. any prying eyes from seeing you, and it keeps the townspeople from catching a straight plasma blast. I get it, okay? Why don't have to be trapped out here with Leif? Because I don't want you to be by yourself. Fine. So, when are we making a move on this fucker?

Tomorrow? Yes. Does anyone want to let me in on the plan? What the fuck? I'm going to hang up and let you two talk. I love you, Virgin. I love you, too. Eldon.

You can't be a part of the plan for the best. Says who? Says me. And who the fuck are you to decide? I'm the one who can run 1,000 simulations per second. I've gamed out every possible iteration of this plan. And? And you being part of the rescue operation puts you at too great a risk.

It's putting everybody at risk, Eldon. Life is already remaining here to run tactical operations. With me, you should do the same. Everybody's putting themselves in danger, and you want me to just sit here? Yes. No. Burge. How the fuck did you come to this conclusion?

Honestly, it wasn't my idea. What? Oh, Deirdre. She's very concerned for your safety. Well, I'm concerned for her fucking safety. In what world has you raising your voice done anything to change what I say? I can't believe this. God!

She asked me about the possibility of completing this mission without you. I ran thousands of simulations. and I have to say, the prospects look good. How is that possible? Well, it's a very complicated calculation. I wouldn't want to boy. I'm going to toss you into this fire and never look back. You're one of the most dangerous beings in the triad, Verge.

As it turns out, the more dangerous people you add to a scenario, the more dangerous that scenario becomes for all parties. So when we have a scenario that only involves a small group of earthlings, the simulations returns a very promising. data. And you thought this talk of math and simulations was going to make me feel better? Then how about this? If heaven forfend, something goes wrong, you will be available to pull everyone's rear end from the fire. Don't think of yourself as being excluded. Just think of yourself as a fire extinguisher in a little glass case. Oh, glass case. This doesn't make any sense to me.

Which is why you have me. To make sense of things. Wait. So, let me get this straight. She hung up so that you could break the bad news? Yes. And she and June are pulling up to the cabin right now to apologize. You better be right about this, Alden.

Let's not forget that it was your idea to put us in this situation, Verge. I'm working very hard to avoid total disaster. And I still don't like it. Well, welcome to the wonderful world. of doing the right thing. It's often painful. I have brought beers and whiskey. I have also brought whatever these fish are that Frank pulled out of burnt lake.

Oh, also, Verge, look, I found you a girlfriend. Hey, thank you, June. Leave how you liking it out here. It's pretty great. We're making a sword. A sword. Tafrock. You making a sword.

What would you have me do? I don't know. Do you ever just make some knives and forks or something? I did so yesterday. Oh. Well, look at me, being an asshole. You are perfect. That's what I like to hear.

Look, I have fish. We should salt them. Okay. Leave. We're going to go inside and salt the fish, if you know what I mean? Okay. Um, are we in a fight? How do you expect me to feel about this?

Well, I think you should feel like I'm doing what's best for everyone. Are you? You can't step in front of every bullet verge. We're all doing this together. Let's go for a walk. Come on, I hardly ever get out here. Okay. Hi, Leif, where can I go for a walk?

Okay. I will just stand out here by myself. Hey Lucian. Looks like it's just you and me. What are we doing today? Life. Did you find it? Yes.

What the hell were you doing with a shadow server on Karma Carma Carmelian? Casinos need massive data storage, and they're always hiding things from the authorities. It's a great place to hide stuff. Luckily, Dark Lay felt the same way. Pretty hilarious. This guy runs the whole triad, but he's still got... bugout bags all over the place. There's a whole host of horrors on this server.

Am I correct in thinking that DJK DJK is the protocol you used to disrupt the old ice road? Yeah, that's the one. Is this everything? Your entire backup tricks? There's one missing. The Ted Slayer is still in a lockbox at Red's rectangle. You can't access it remotely. Seems an odd place for it.

There's no good place for it. It used to be on a network server, but that made me nervous. You could have just destroyed it. Yeah, I know. Something told me to hang on to it. Have you ever made anything that doesn't destroy things? Can you call me a piece of shit some other time, please? Anytime you like.

You've got it all downloaded to your server? I do. Okay. Then we're ready. Tomorrow then. Okay. All right, everyone. Here's how this is going to work.

We're currently one floor above the Mermaid of the Dark Seas. what has to be the worst casino on Rex Prime. It is a total disaster down on the casino floor, but luckily for us, the building could not be more poorly designed. Why is that good for us? Because there's no way to get to us without going through the casino. Very good, Frances Gold Star. If you want to get to me, you'll have to go through the casino.

And Giga is now hacked into their security feeds, aren't you, Giga? Yeah. They even have video feeds in them. bathrooms, which is real gross, boss. It would be against the law if there were things like laws around here. But all of this is good for us. The more video feeds, the better. The more video feeds the better.

Thank you, Sluggo. So your intention is to get Wend to Verge before they've made it to you. In the hopes that will spring this trap of yours more readily? That is correct. I made a big show with one of Virge's associates based on the assumption that Verge would then come after me. I am the bait in the trap. Seems as though that's awful dangerous for yourself there, boss.

Ain't we better serve getting Verge where they live? If we know where they're at, why not scoop them up where they reside? And how well did that go for you too? I seem to recall that ended up with the two of you on the space junk highway. I'm not making no excuses for our various failures, but our endeavors would have been a success, were it not for all the failure indeed.

Seems to me, if we're not, If we omit the failures, we come up with a spot-free record. What the fuck are you talking about? You guys sure you're fully thawed? I'm sensing a little ice on the brain. Never go hunting for a serpent in the serpent's den, boys. Always find a way to flesh it out. I'm the only one that Verge is going to make a special trip for.

They do despise me to an unhealthy degree. It's hard to get a vapian to make an unsafe move. The bait for this trap needs to do. be exceptional. And I am nothing, if not exceptional. So we just sit here and wait? The first sign of Verge, and it will be up to all of you to keep me from getting dead. Don't fuck it up, everyone. Seeing us how vapians are so good at avoiding our scene. Ain't they going to just figure away past your watchful eyes?

They absolutely are. I predict Verge will attempt a distraction. They'll orchestrate some sort of incident in the casino meant to point our eyes in a particular direction and then slip by unnoticed as we're looking the other way. So how do we defend against that? By having an ace up our sleeve. Everybody gather around Giga and the video feeds. As you can see here, we have eyes on every inch of the casino. Look at that mass of people. Now, Giga, please press that little red button. Okay. Whoa. What's all this, boss? That, my friend, is experimental surveillance technology that we managed to get our hands on.

It's called a DNA dog. The video feed is now available to highlight the specific race of everyone it sets its eyes on. Now all we have to do is set an alarm for vapian DNA and wait. What if another vapian shows up? There are hardly any vapians left. The chances of two showing up in the same place is almost zero. Verge will enter the casino, thinking they're invisible. but they will stand out like a house fire.

Simple as cake. Easy as pie. Have you guys ever made up high? It's actually really hard. Giga, keep an eye on the monitors. Let us know if you see anything odd. Everyone else, smoke meant you got him. Anyone want to do a puzzle?

Pardon us, boss? What is it, boys? Seeing us how we're on a bit of a break. We were wanting to inquire us to the particular curiosities of our current sojourn. This year will be our second go-round on this year, planet trying to reel in this fish. We found ourselves out in the drink for it. And seeing as how our big boss man has got himself a whole mess of land to keep a handle on, we were wondering as to why this particular fish and this particular river, awful lot of work put into this here operation. And to what

end we are prone to wonder. Jesus, that took forever. Can you two please come up with a faster way to ask a question? We realize, please God don't answer that. I don't have all night. Listen, everyone, I realize that it may seem like a lot of work to bring in one person, but our benevolent employer, he moves in mysterious ways. We all remember what the days were like with loaf tracks, lucrative, certainly, but they were very chaotic, and with this new regime we find ourselves in, we're able to do so much more now that we have a leader with an actual attention span. But what comes along with that?

Well, it's the odd obsession from time to time. Ours is not to ask why. Ours is to not fuck up and find ourselves floating in deep space. Understand? Hey, boss? Yes. Do you want to know about anything weird or just the Vabian-related stuff? What have you got?

Earthlings. Earthlings? Yeah. Censors are telling me the makeup of the casino floor is 0.1% Earthling. Well, what the fuck is that about? I thought there was a whole town of Earthlings up in the mountains. Well, yeah, but... They're not real earthlings.

They're all wearing earth suits up there, aren't they? That was certainly how we discerned it. Real close to the real thing in our eyes, but ain't no way they could be the real thing. Yeah, I mean, how could an entire town of actual earthlings get all the way out here? Boss? My entire life, I've only met one earthling. An entire town of them would be impossible. What about that one you met with?

Steve. He kept his earth suit. activated the whole time. What? He stays in character the whole time? I assumed. We'd make that assumption as well. See us how the alternative would be next to nuts.

Bring them up on the monitors. I'm already scanning for Vabians. I'd have to stop to look for Earthlings. Right. Right. Probably nothing. Eagap, keep your eyes on the monitors. Let us know if you see anyone from Earthland on the casino floor.

Oh, I already do. You do. Where? There's one of them. Right there. She's sitting at the barber-duckle table. Well, here's the table of suckers. All right. Before I take everyone's money, I guess I gotta know how to play. I think her name is June. Who's got a cigarette?

Boys, do you remember this woman? If we're being as honest as possible, our memories of our time on the mountain are about as fuzzy as cottonwood in springtime. Seems as so our time being frozen has made our brain pants a little leaky. Wow. Sir, even love it. less helpful now. I didn't think it was possible. Let's stay focused. Everyone, the Earthling thing is weird.

But we don't have time for that right now. I've got another one. Where? Right there. Feed 3. Is that? What is that? Is it a snack cart?

That's cold, Uhoo, would hit the spot right about now. Youhoo and a flaming hot Cheeto is what the doctor ordered. Also by the bar. Excuse me, bartender. Could I get three gin and tonics and twenty scratchers? Scratchers. Look at this lady. Wait, ma'am, are you doomsday prepping with gin and tonics?

Hey, look at this. She's got a gin and tonic for each personality, am right? High five! High five, ma'am! What is happening? It looks as though Verge has uncharacteristically made themselves some friends. Everybody? Keep your eyes on the monitors.

this is Verge making their move. Sluggo, head down to the casino floor and keep an eye on things. You got it, boss. What exactly are they planning on doing? Remember, the plan is chaos. All of them are going to try and create a distraction of some sort. Head back down to the bubberduckle table. What's the first one doing?

Now it's called pants darts, you play. As long as everyone stays cool at the table, it should be fine. Stealer, you are stealing from me. Oh, shit. Short. They're definitely making their move. Still no sign of baby in DNA. We're Steve.

Do you like a good ghost story? Maybe you wonder what it would be like to communicate with the other side. We'll put your Ouija boards away and just listen to Rattled and Shook. I'm your host Meredith, and we've got a new season of Rottled and Shook available now, including themed episodes, guests, games and immersive, creepy stories sent in by real people about haunted hotels, satanic panic, and ghosts galore. A new season of Rattled and Shook is available now wherever you get your podcasts. I'm inside the refugee camp. Should we even call it a camp? It's just a prison, right?

I suppose it doesn't really matter what we call it. It's really bad in here, Eldon. They're giving them just enough to survive? Looks like they're all gathered around campfires trying to stay warm. Keeping them in a constant state of desperation is an essential part of the operation. There are so many of them. How am I supposed to convince everyone to get to the Evac point? There should be a point person to talk to, not an elected leader per se, but someone who's gained the trust of the group, a de facto leader, or at least someone who can circulate the plan to everyone there. Okay. Um, how do I find that person? You don't. The reason we sent you down there undisguised is so you'll stick out like a sore thumb.

Be patient and wait for someone to approach you. That should be the person to talk to. Okay. What level of freak out is Verge at right now? I really don't think I'm the one to worry about right now, sweetheart. Hey. Are you okay? I'm okay. God, there are so many different types of people down here, Verge. Yeah, they come from all over the place. all this is over, I need you to make a serious effort to show me something out here that isn't terrible, okay?

That's a good idea. I wish I could go back, do everything over again with you there. Baby, we should have been assigned each other at birth. We should never have had to look for each other. It's a crime. But, according to Laif, there's an ocean of you. universes out there. And in one of them, I was an awkward kid walking into freshman year at Hood River Valley High School. And there you were somehow. I looked up at you and put my heart into all four of your hands. And I never looked back.

Those happy kids are out there somewhere. Just think about all the versions of us that never met. I worry about them all the time. Who are you? Hang on, I think I just did the jackpot. Hi. Earth? Yes, I'm Deidre.

You're on the wrong planet. I think everyone here is on the wrong planet. I think you know what I mean. What's your name? I promise I'm here to help you. Maloo. Wait, what? It's nice to meet you, Malu.

Holy shh. One, Earthling, is weird, but I've seen you now. One a few days ago, and now you. Right, Steve. You saw my friend Steve. He told me about all of you. Me and my friends are trying to get everyone out of here. I promise.

The reason why we are here is because someone said their going to save us. They were lying. Why should I believe you? Diedra, if you're talking to someone that's green with yellow stripes, they're from a planet called Lomoneer. They're probably there with their younger brothers and sisters. You've got every right to be protective. Are you here with family? Lomonia is mostly wetlands. Everyone there has to work at a water treatment facility. It sucks. You're from Lomonia, right? You were trying to get your family away from the water treatment facilities? I don't blame you for being desperate. Our parents thought they were saving us.

Malu, if you'll trust me, your parents sending you away won't be in vain. How are you going to do this? There's a ship coming. I need everyone in this encampment to follow me. Suspicion isn't going to get you out of this place, Malu. Only trust is going to do that. I know that doesn't make any sense, but it's true. Show me where.

then I'll decide. Okay, follow me. Anyway, they're called the Hertz. Apparently, they were here on this mountain a long time ago. And I don't know why. There's this huge structure back in town, but that can't be everything they left behind. Ancient ones.

Yeah, ancient ones. I keep walking around looking for something they may have left behind, but it's just that one's. structure. It can't have just been that building. Hammer scale. What? You must find hammer scale. What is that?

When kingdoms fall, they become ruins. The ruins fade into the mountains and hills. But even as the ruins turn to dust, the hammer scale remains. What is it? When my hammer strikes the steel, it leaves behind. Hammer scale. I cannot see it, but it remains forever. Okay. Okay, so it's microscopic iron dust. It disappears into the soil, but it's always there.

You must look for that which you cannot see. Right. Okay. Traces of them, I can't see. We cannot help but leave traces of ourselves behind, no matter how much we need. wish to disappear. Hello. Trinket. What's up? Nothing.

I got bored. Bored? And a little anxious. Also, I think Elden got a little annoyed that I kept picking up my landline for an update. Just a little annoyed. Where's Verge? They're a little anxious. Trying to work it out with some target practice.

I see. Any news? How are we doing, Eldon? Didre's made contact with a point person. out in the cave, they're making their way to the access point now. Meanwhile, everyone else is putting on quite a show. Bartender, mum, man! You guys got a jukebox? We want to play some Billy Joel. Here is the proper trajectory. You start with Big Shot. Then you bring up New York State of Mind. Bring the heat with you!

Ding-tongs, but we are for one special for Snowballs. Would anyone like Snowballs? over here. Snorts, you want a snowball? I do not want your balls. Everything seems to be the appropriate level of ridiculous at the moment. You really think this is going to work? The whole thing hinges on the fact that Minsky would never expect us to try and free all the

people he's got trapped down there. He thinks no one knows where he's keeping them. There's no way he's going to say, but what if they have a mushroom witch? Now all we have to do is keep his attention on the casino And we should be good. This part is the easy part. The hard part will be the completely impossible part that involves a ship that probably doesn't exist.

Leif, I've got to ask you something. What? You've been pretty resistant to this ship everyone's talking about. The true trans traveling. Yeah, I mean, you really hate this idea. I do. Do you think maybe you've gotten a little desensitized... to, you know, all this.

All what? Well, there's a space dinosaur over there. Verge has four arms. I'm full of mushrooms. The whole Frank situation, a mountain that travels through the universe, a diner that does the same thing. But with the ship, there's this wall of doubt.

And you don't think that's weird? Qualandus. That was the name of the planet I was on before I got here. My arm turned black, so did my foot. The only thing that saved me was the frozen shit of a giant walrus thing that I set on fire to stay warm. I walked for hours in cold that could kill a friggin' into it. And before that, I had to save us from the bad guy by picking up a gun

and shooting my friends, hoping me. hoping to God that I didn't kill them. Where was my magical sled to carry me to safety, Trinket? I'm not oblivious to all the insane shit that I've seen, but if I depend on it, if I just hope that it's going to be there, I think that's a good way to get dead. You know, sorry to be a witch about it,

but that brain of yours and the actions you take and the magical spaceships and the traveling mountains, the spirits move in all of those things, Leif. For me, there's no difference between them. I don't know how to calculate for the movements of the spirits, Trinket.

I think you do, but I understand you need to call it something else. Try to have a little faith sometimes, Leif. Just because you're smart doesn't mean you know everything. Trust me. Smart person's disease. What? One time a friend of mine told me I have smart person's disease.

Smart people, such as myself, suffer a side effect of our smartness, where we think everyone else is stupid just because we're smart. Exactly. Hey, I've got a question for you. Okay. Down in the caves. Dietra just ran into someone I know. Really?

I knew them in another universe. That's weird. It's statistically impossible. But it's not the first time it's happened. I've been to a billion universes at this point, but I keep running into people I know. What's that about? It's really beautiful. Sure, but what does it mean?

I don't know. People become bonded with each other in all sorts of ways that we can never know. Maybe people have a way of sticking together that we can't really understand. I hate big questions. I know. I've got too many of them right now.

Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot going on with you right now. But, hey, I think I might be able to help you out with one of those. Oh, yeah? Well, you were saying that you were in one place, and then suddenly you woke up here in Hood's pocket, right? Yeah.

You don't remember how you got here. No. I think I can help you with that. How? Well, it's a little, you know, witchy. You're going to cast a spell on me or something? No, not exactly.

But I think I know a way that we can walk you through your memories. Like we're walking on a beach. A beach? Yes. How? Well, it involves the astral plane. The astral plane. Yes.

Trinket. Hey, I know. I know how it sounds, but I think it's possible. Okay. Maybe I deal with all this stuff first? Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Okay. The astral plane.

That's right. Sure. Yes. Laif. Yeah. We're here. Okay. That should be where the rock wall is the thinnest.

Remember that ball of goo I gave you? Yeah. Take it out and stick it to the wall. Okay. Okay, it's on. Now, that other thing I gave you, it looks like a stick with a string sticking out of it. Yes. Stick it inside the goo.

After you pull the string, you'll have ten seconds. Okay. What is this stuff, Leifah? Just a simple mixture of household products, Didera. Okay. Okay, I'm pulling the string. Ten seconds. Let's go.

Shit. Nice work. Household products, huh? Everybody's got a bomb under their kitchen sink, Deidre. Did you manage to make a hole? Yeah. Yeah, it worked. Okay. That should lead all the way out to the ocean. Good luck.

Thanks. Burge is okay? Target practice. Kind of wish I was on the casino team right now. That sounds like fun. It's about to get less fun, but that's no concern of yours. Report back to us when you've reached the evacuation point. Okay. What's up in the casino? Minsky has sent someone to monitor the casino floor.

Who? Sluggo. Great. It's called a Scorpion Bowl. It's gin, rum, tequila, and then dark rum, little splash of pineapple, then a shot of flaming rum in the middle, and a straw. You know, Scorpion Bowl. Yeah, you do not forget the cherries. Okay, boss, I'm on the casino floor.

Good. Until we see someone make them. Sure thing. Yeah, what's up? Casually look to your ride. Okay. Casually looking? Do you see the eight-foot purple robot?

I do. Oh my God, Jesus Christ, what the fuck is that thing? That's Sluggo. He's a thug bot. Oh. Huh. Gee, I wonder what his job is. We need to take him off the board. Copy that. We take him off the board?

That's right. Okay. How do we do that? Minsky sent him down to wait for our next move. Yes, perfect. What is our next move? We don't have one. But Minsky doesn't know that.

Okay. So what do we do then? We act like we're making our next move. Sure. By doing what? Do you see the whole way to your left? Yeah. Head towards it and act like you're trying to act casual. Wait, how do I act like a... Never mind.

You can do it. Pardon me moi! I am going to casually walk down this hall. way. BRB! Be right back. Amazing work, Frank. That one there.

Where's it going? Oh, looks like he's walking towards the freight elevator. Here we go on. Sure thing, boss. Doug. Oh, uh, yeah, uh, yes, I'm here. See that purple robot heading towards you? Purple, oh my goodness.

What do I do? Don't worry. He's going to walk right past you. I really hope so. Play it cool. Uh, uh, uh, Z-Z. Zagnut. I've got

stagnant bars here Okay, he just He just passed me Hit the first switch on your beverage card Uh huh Um, okay, uh, first switch Done That should cut off Sluggos comms

He's all yours This should be an interesting experiment Experiment Elton, where am I going There should be a freight elevator in front of you Yeah, how do I open it? One moment And then what?

Then wait Wait Wait? Hey, hi. Hi. Where are you headed? Huh? Uh, is this not the bathroom? It's the freight elevator.

Oh, oh my God. Now I see the signage in this place, am all right? It's just, I mean, it is very confusing. Take Sluggo off the board. Moment. God damn it, Elton. Okay. I have now gotten the hang of this game, which means everyone here is in trouble. It is your turn. Snorts.

We had a whole conversation about patience. Do you remember? Hello, June. We need to inject a little more chaos onto the casino floor. Get snorts to throw one of his little timber tantrums, won't you? Twist my arm. I am not twisted. your arms. I am not talking to you. Shorts. Gee! Who are you talking to you? Excuse me, dealer.

I ordered some chicken tendies like half an hour ago. Not sure what kind of place you're running here. You have ordered no chicken denders. You don't know! Take your turn. Okay, okay, fine. Here we go. Taking my turn. Chopin' broccoli. Chopin broccoli Chopin broccoli We be chopping broccoli Stop singing that song

Every time you talk to me I have to start over A chopin broccoli We've got a problem What? Snorts They really need to stop letting him into casinos Where is sluggo?

I don't have him He was headed for the freight elevators Okay. Video fading elevators has gone dark. Gone dark, how? I don't know how. This isn't Verge. This is something else.

What is it? I don't know. Where is Steve? Celeste, what's your status? Well, turns out the bartender makes a hell of a scorpion bowl. Wonderful. What else? The entire casino floor has somehow turned into a bar brawl.

Hard not to admire June's ability to create total chaos. What am I, supposed to do. We're about to pull the rug out. Frank may need help getting out of the freight elevator. Okay. Doug, are you ready? Um, getting pretty crazy down here.

Okay. It's the second switch on your beverage card. Okay, I'm ready. Okay. Hit it? Here goes. Purpose, right? It's all part of our fake plan, Jew.

Okay. Okay, there it is. We're supposed to wait right here. All of us. Yes, we need to get everyone to the mouth of the cave and the ship will be right outside the cave. When it shows up, we all make a run for it. But we don't have a lot of time. That is hard for me to believe.

I know. I know it is. Have you heard of the true trans traveler? Every desperate person has heard of the true trans traveler. It's coming. It's coming soon. Malu, I know. The problem is that all of us got stuck in this place because we decided to trust someone we didn't know.

I know. You cannot ask me to do that twice. I'm asking. I'm asking twice. Malu, come on. I just blew a hole in the wall. That's got to mean something. Your name is Didra.

Yes. We're over. very tired, did you? I know. We were all very tired when our journey began, but now we have given up hope. But you are here telling us to have hope again. That must feel terrible.

That must make you feel even more exhausted. People keep telling you to believe in them, and they keep letting you down. Why does so many think? that desperate people are like property. You take them, you throw them away when you want. What do we do? Malu, you haven't done anything except live in the world.

They made that a crime. Despite all of this, you have to believe that out there somewhere are people who don't think this is right. people who will try to stop it when they see it? I don't want to believe, but... But I think they're out there somewhere. They're right here, Maloo. It's me. I can't let this happen.

So I'm here, trying to stop it. I need you to believe in people one more time. Just one more time. Time. One more time. Freight elevator. Never fear. I'm guided by the light of my flaming beverage. I'm like Indiana Jones. It's very industrious of you. There should be a manual release under the control panel. Do you see it?

Ah, you see it. Push it up and to the left. Okay. Frank? Oh. Hey, uh, Celeste, your drink is on fire. It's a scorpion ball. Oh, right. Sure. What is this junk everywhere? The junk?

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, uh... I don't know. Must have been here when I got here. Is that a robot head? It is a robot head. Yeah. Don't worry about it. Eldon, what are we doing?

All right, everyone. Abandon the casino and make your way to the alley. When the lights come up, we'll be gone, and hopefully Minsky will be very confused. Oh, I know I certainly am. Okay. All right, everybody, move. Let's go.

Okay, we're back up. What the hell just happened? I'm... Confused. About which part? We just lost power in the casino for several minutes. Yeah? So in a predictable world,

I would be dead when the lights came back up. Not to make assumptions, boss. You appear to be breathing in and out. I am, in fact. Where's sluggo? Hang on. Is that? What the hell happened to him?

Looking like he took a trip down the stairs. Yet there he sits in the elevator. Where is Steve? Steve? This is something else. This isn't Verge making their move. This is something else. What is it?

What? Bring up the video feed for the caves. The cave. Caves? Just do it. Okay. Oh, who is that? Patch through the audio.

You're live. Steve. Well, good evening. What the hell are you up to, Steve? I don't know what you mean. What are you doing in the caves, Steve? Well, I was looking for the bathroom. I showed you my operation down there in confidence, Steve.

I thought we had an understanding. I'm pretty sure our understanding was you thinking that I was A fucking idiot. Steve, you had your friends come to the casino and distract me and now what? You're going to steal literally thousands of people from me? You think I can't stop that before it happens? Where are you going to put them? You really expect me to lay out my whole plan for you right now?

That really wouldn't make me an idiot. You should think twice before crossing me like to Steve. And you should think twice before messing with a Coosbee dirtbag. He got the feed. What is a Coos Bay dirtbag? Fucking Earthlings. Francis. What's up, boss?

Head down to the caves. Deal with Steve, would you? Sure thing, boss. That's the last one of them. Oh my God. This is so many people. I hope you know what you're doing. We've all decided to trust you.

Okay. Okay. Everyone? Can I have your attention? Everyone? Everybody. Shut the fuck up. Thank you.

My name is Deidre. I know so many of you are scared right now. I'm scared too, but I swear to God we have a plan, okay? I think a lot of them want to know who you are. Oh, all right. Apparently you all would like to know who we are. I guess that's understandable. I kind of came out of nowhere.

So who are we? Well, honestly, we're not anyone. We're not freedom fighters or anything like that. Honestly, I think we're just like anyone else. We're normal people who found ourselves sitting by and watching something terrible happen. and we couldn't sit by and watch anymore. It's kind of a weird moment.

Your feet just start moving, and suddenly you're in the middle of it. We risked a lot to do this. We didn't have much of a choice. It was like it chose us. So now, well, now we've come to the part of the plan where we just have to cross our fingers and wait. don't lose hope everyone

we're almost there thank you Malu I've decided this is the last time I've ever trust somebody I hope I don't regret it honestly me too

do you hear that that music I think so from where you shit I can't believe it everybody move it you've got that thing

I can What do I do with it? It'll do all the work. It's a microwave drill. It'll scramble his insides, but it takes time to work. Give it as much time as you can. He's got knives for hands, Leif. Better than lasers for hands.

Shit. There you are. Great to see you again, Steveerino. Hey, Francis. You know, Steve, I hope you understand that I think you're a real cool guy. Hate that it has to end this way. You know, The things you say, they don't quite match the things that you do, Francis.

I know. It's my curse. I would have been much better off entertaining kids. I think that's probably a terrible idea, Francis. Oh, well, it's my lot in life. So people all the time. Things will go a lot quicker, but they don't struggle. Nobody ever listens. I'm just trying to look out for them. Francis, wait. I need to tell you something Okay, better make it fast

Everything I say is a lie Okay Also I'm lying You're lying Yes But everything you say is a lie Right Which means you're lying about lying

I am Which means you're telling the truth Yes But you're always lying Always Hey wait a minute Are you trying to logic bomb me Maybe

Oh come on Steve That stuff hasn't worked for a hundred years With a shot, I guess. Ain't you for effort. Shit. Think about it this way, Steve. There's a million ways to kill a guy that's much faster and easier, but Menske makes me do it this way.

What kind of bananas is that to put into a paper shredder? What? Jamas is black to soot Pinto the Gaperbredder. Francis? Blot, blind, blow, blow. Blanos blizz blan-to-blue bladder bladder. Lave, I think it worked. That was a close one.

Daisy, daisy, give me your answer, dude. Weird that I feel bad now. He was about to kill you, dude. Yeah, nobody's perfect, but, uh, so what do I do now? Steve, I can't believe I'm saying this, but... Seriously? Get back to hood's pocket, Steve. We've got a long night of making fun of life ahead of us. Holy shit.

You don't need a ticket. You don't need a suitcase. Just bring yourself and the person you long to be. Are all of your people on board? I'm the last one. Okay. I can't believe this worked. Where do you think we're going? I don't know, Malu. I know it's better than here. Are you sure you're the one to come with us?

It's dangerous here. I already found my magic ship. Go. I won't forget you. The ship is full. You've got enough time. Above children, it's going to be a lonely ride in a good way. Whoa.

Hey, baby. Deja, we've got the door to the cave sealed, now even Menski. On to the beach, Celeste will pick you up there. On my way. I just got us in a lot of trouble, didn't I? Well, I can't imagine Minsky being thrilled about this, but we can deal with that tomorrow. Right now, I don't think even he knows what's going on. But he will.

Don't worry about that now. Just get back to me. June's already started the party at the sheep's eye. Sounds like fun. Private party first, though, okay? Just you and me. That's my favorite kind of party. class of note you know what everyone else fails to see bugaboo what's that battle pope that we embody the spirit of the underestimated just when they don't forgot about us there we are in the clutch snatch and defeat from the mouth of victory ma'am if you would be so kind our employer would like a word

The second system and its homeworld Wren. That's where I'm from. Chaos. I wish people could understand what it's like to live in that. People don't know what it's like to fight for your life every day. I was taught a very valuable lesson there. That there must be an order to things. There must be a hand that guides everything.

That people collectively are idiots. and need to be told what to do. I know that sounds strange coming from a career criminal, but I've found the rules of crime to be even more strict than those of law and order. The rules in my world are clear. They are severe, and judgment is swift. I know you're out there listening to me.

I know we can work together on this. Let's add a little order to the world. Shall we? Hey, Minsky. Well, be still my heart. I'm sure you're worried about Diedra. Please, don't worry. She's being treated very well.

Oh, for your sake, I hope so. It's a tale as old as time. Me for her. That's right. What the fuck does he want with me, Minsky? To be quite honest with you, Virch, I'm not. honest with you, Verge, I don't care. I was sent here to do a job. I'm about to complete that job. And then after that, we will be able to return to doing the good work of... Well, you know, the work we do.

Frankly, this whole thing has been an unnecessary distraction. But he moves in strange ways, my employer. If you've hurt her. Verge, if I don't return with you to the galaxy, brain, we're all dead. See, I've got skin in the game too. I bear no malice whatsoever towards this woman. Come to me here. We'll put her in your ship and send her back to her little mountain. You realize, I'm going to kill you the first chance I get, right? Of course. I'd expect nothing less. But that's what I'm talking about, verge, rules. clear, severe, swift. They come for us all eventually.

You again. So, this is up to us now. We have one last advantage. What? We didn't know if Minsky was here for you or Verge. Now we know. Which means... They have no idea I exist.

That's right. I hope you remember how to get into the galaxy brain. I remember. Three, Diedra left her phone behind. This message is for the... good people of Hood's pocket. My business with Verge has concluded, but I'm afraid there are one or two action items that need to be addressed before I go. I'm afraid that little town of yours has cost me a lot of money today. Quite ingenious what you did. I'm honestly still not

sure how you did it, but regardless, a transgression like this can't go unanswered. What the fuck is that? The sound you're hearing is the sound of Battle Pope and Bugaboo, igniting the chemical pits. Oh shit. You're new in town, so you probably don't know what that is? It's an ocean of toxic chemicals that's deposited right next to Raxias. Everyone is always worried what would happen if the chemical pits blew. Now we're going to find out.

Motherfucker! As we speak, a cloud of toxic gas is now making its way across Raxias. Now, Raxias has a way to defend against such things. The buildings, they seal themselves. I don't imagine you have that same protection up in the mountains. And that is, of course, where this cloud of poisonous gas is headed next. I'm no expert, but I don't think Earthlings fare very well against clouds of toxic gas. Try to run, of course, but I think you'll be surprised how fast this cloud's going to travel.

Most of you will be dead by morning. Get an industrious bunch up there, so just in case I miss a few of you, I will be sending a cleanup crew to check and make sure all the good work's been done. Cleanup crew? They're called eels. Oh no. Leith! I heard! What is he talking about?

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Axel Zapata. Siona the Goblin is bringing Leaf a laser spoon. Jason McDonald. Orionda. Bean Dino. Philip Linnick. Hugh J. J2, Brian Montgomery, Artemis Record, Safa Aluzie, Trev Brax, Gunner Tweedle,

The Bard Without a Ballad or a Mallet, Nazzo, Platform Jail Mechanism Burned Museum theorist, hold please, Kekiyahu, Empress, Empress, Greater Catopia, Anna Garcia, Goblin King, Rays of Noop. Kiggy's best friend would like to go to breakfast, Bubberduckle, Yeager Luce, Terry Cads, Leaf Tracks, The Rise of Leaf, Chapter 1, Loft Tracks for Tires, The Prodigal Elem, Catalyst for Chaos, Sculliver, Sam, and Shane, Asoka likes hugs, Going Anonymous, V, Ma Dukes, U.S. Marshal Stacy, ooh, chickadee, dango Dale, Esty, not the website. At every moment in every corner of every possible world, there is always a way home, and it's already found you. Jiao Paolo Lemos, Odd Keep the Sient Lighthouse, the faceless old Bethany who secretly lives in your home.

Dishane, Tanya Fisher, Appalachian Death Queen, Zosifer Dogo of Doom, Burnt Barbecue Beef Briscuit, it's official, they're called Thigaronis. Winans, Marlon C, just whelmed. Madame Paris? Cherish Hellfire's Hellish Chairfire. Lichen Lady, Midnight Club, Cameron Agnacy West, Knox, Lisa Lou, Emmett Hale, the Triads Baddest Goblin, Emery and Lano, James Miles, Brown Coats, Love the Diner, House Chaos and the Critter Cacophony, Max, Nia and Ivon's, sixth, sick, sheeks, sixth, sheep's sick. Nope, never mind, it's Marks. You people hate me. Minion Simone Mimi Davis, Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Misty Don Mitchell Jr., Guy Turtle, Wayne Barahona, Jesse the Dragon Rider, we will not rest until Puerto Rico and Palestine are free. Pluto, Nissie's mom, Pokesplort, Whiskey Rebellion and Genriots Interdimensional Detective Agency,

Zephyrvitriol, Altrian, Slim Nandy, Goth Laf, Jen and Britt, Adriana Bartolomucci, Jonah is Gay, The Midnight Ashes, Hornetti, Ballion Fair, the Night of Silver Flames, Hood's Pocket Protector, listening to Ava Sing Poisoning Pigeons in the Park made my shitty day instantly better. Valky Storm. Patricia Who's always late but somehow on time. D.C. Squirrel. Honey Cooper. Kyle the Interstellar Highwayman. Shelley Act on the Verge.

Gale Friend. Rubber Cake. Clover the Clown. The Sparky Tack. Prop the Crocker. Ringleader Volt. Jazz Punker. Captain Tight Pants and the Companion.

Agent Night Breakfast. Bradie for Mission Control. Renee N. Caterina de La Playa. R.I.E. Waffles. The Fluff Rangler, aka the Space Druid, Phantom Land T-T-R-P-G-G-Dice, Curiouser K-8, Your Local Blacksmith, Ash Montgomery, Ash Montgomery, the Boggiest of Birches, Jason, HVac Tech for the Diner's Deep Freeze, S-K-Fenix, Glitch the Weifer-Montgomery-Foxworth,

Mary-Face, Luan Cherry, Peppermint Perl, the Interdimensional Space and Tea-Time Witch, Nicole 6-4, Amara Salazar, Banjo Buscolo, Full Beans, Gloria's Forgoton Ford Pistiva, Brandon Wright, night breakfast at the midnight cauldron, force for good-ish, Mark Scott, Rosie Mum, the Judah, Slater Morales, Intergalactic Frylord, Gravity's Optional, but Fries Aren't, C.J's the Big Barbecue Bistro for Bethany's, Angel Vasquez, Evil the Cat, Stephen Raymer, J-Carp Fishman, the Great Goblino, Low Oxygen, Save the Mungos, Joji the Birdwatcher, a flock of great horses from the top of a sycamore, lilac Borcella, Rachel Crempa, with special thanks to my best friend Lizzie and my husband, Steve.

Don't worry about the order, honey. Temporal Hash-Brown, Diane Brown, Dr. Flog wants Tied it to return his voicemails. Captain No Sleep, Jamie Rainey, the Slim Reaper, Ruben Eden, Smedley-Pees Nodgrass the Third, but please... Comey Smetty. The Shreveport, Bohann's. Cici, the Umbrellae, Bradbury's Sasquatch loads, Chekhov's Gun and Rides to Join Bethany's Army, Dinn, Cosmic Catchup, Lack of Lifestyle, August the Schmoggest, and Haasfest, Mousy, Hood's Pocket Gear and Sprocket Local Repair Cafe

Crafty Introvert The Postmaster General Kwan sent me Mad Mad Max, Blake Basmagian, Nitwit 14, roiled way too harshly DJ Johnny B, the Klop Man Diamond, Marco Montano no longer doing a bit, Shiny Fields, Adam Tacheck, Christopher Wendell Unproductive Banana, Pulsifer

the Paulist of Paulism, Zombie Spider-Man, The Sorcerer Senguins says Brain Demons is an Anagram of Brandon is me. Bex 823 Antecripted Barry Heap Gas Mask Penguin In the Hot Seet

Mime Ninja Mime Master Uguay Barry, Dillias Dallying Podcast Junkies Photoshop crashes Eight hours gone Futile screaming at the ocean Fox Hatlin

Dylan Karoni Pedro Vibristo Slyder Malachi Julian Rhodes Maple Emily The Gayest Library Janitor in Indiana Learn how to be calm

in heart stumbly I'll be waiting Physic the Good Bush definitely not one of the bad Bushes funding the rebel Bethany's to overthrow the duly elected Bethany's. Hexedicimal Bethany is non-binary. Vapis Tens Big Black Gaping Hole. The planet Gubrius wants to know if Croc is a crocodile or a proper gator. Bruce? Jessica Gygoma. Torricle. Jenny the Bear. Gere. Bellringer, Sir Dean Thorne Thorne, Treech. Mr. Flible is very cross. Hote potato. Dr. Mojo postulates the end list,

endlessly splintering off as Bethany and Bertbert's caboose until his its end lists all the way down. Dave and Buster's server manager, ready to serve all the Bethany's a Monte Cristo's. Blind Time Traveler Convention Date. L.A. Woman, the Phoenix Rising. New name? God? No, not him. Jeff Andrew? Sure, Jeff Andrew. Miss Luan, a British woman with cute dogs. Cup of noodles. Shmissie Two-shoes. Luna Nova. Nicholas Griffith. Matt Grigsby. Justin Smollin. Riku 2-31, Craig Dundee, new type without a Gundam, Astral C, Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too, Which Loud the Cartoonist, Guy with the Chops, Sam, Mitchell Yee, Bagelknife, Emelda and Scott, Courtney Cochran, Lily Starling, Ryan Kay, Devin 777777 has been my fave verbal stem for months,

Nate, Forklift, Forkliff, Vince M, Chip, Radio Free Realia, Violin' Lov's Middy, Briana, Pistinwhip, Captain Ducky, Blitz Bell, Shiny, let's be bad guys. Our overhead is way too high with all of these names, and please make sure to turn in all your receipts, love Josh from accounting. Satsuma, Silius Goosegous Go-Mex, Coach Shane of Toad Succ Central,

Go Cranes. Sky, Cole Arthur, Lego Cuisant, Cassad, Norman Mergler. You've all been assigned to write a four-page essay on your favorite arthropod. It will be 50% of your grade. Joe Kappa, dogma mom. We be chopping broccoli.

Icey Fish, the hacker's, known as Ivy DeBurb. Blue Tune, a feisty-ass chickadee, poultry landmine, the scrappy poet, Jenny the cryptid paladin, maverick artist, shit, it was a mimic, basil in their tea, waiting to gossip with David, Ainsliehyeye, Ye, Ye, Ye, Ye, Ye, Engnor, A-T-Bee, Kiwi-Lovelybead, Zoe, Kesh the Goblin, Professor Freida. Dr. Professor Reverend Bethany-Wethany-Wuffy McFuffenberger, M.D. H. H.D. H. H.m. is looking for a cure to the Bethany mutation that the Society of Bethany's began the war with so many years ago. Michelle Spurgeon, Jack the Sleepy, Garrett Henderson, Tewot, still trapped, but I've stopped asking why. The freezer is, I am,

we chill. Son of Defarge, Wisco Teach, Scott A. Snellgrove, give peas a chance. Samalama ding-dong. Behold lady Sarah Per Whiskervail, Countess of Woodhallow, Mistress of the whispering pines, and beloved by all creatures small and opinionated. Ricardo Galamba, Carri's crafty cloaking devices LLC, hashtag we weave em of Gossamer. Penny the Wonder Dog and Bucky Von Buckbuck, Cherry Appleby, medium rare extra toasted bun, saucy Caesar, belt, Aspen is a Verge fanboy, Mick J-67, Ava's favorite My Little Pony Pencil wants Joe to slap into a snim gym. Mr. and Mrs. Drifter, representative of the Alaska Midnight Burger Tommy Time chapter, Nathaniel Lee Industries, Lord Entropy, Bach

Motherfucker, the Faye Wanderer, everybody's favorite clowns, Splotchy, Pinstrike Algorithm, Psycho Queen, Kosher Steak, Gabriel Strife is brought to you by Charlotte Brown, Gary Gygax, and the number 42, Flo Rida, Alyssa's shiny pants, Gondor calls for aid, muscles for tits, Arnold Rumspringer, the demise of the Temple of Bethany's. Alan Bergland says, Hi Mom, Jay, Kitty McSull, Raven Stromdan's hapless novelist passenger of the dimensionally impermanent, bookshop cafe, the wild-eyed prophet. Tessa Craig, perfectly personalized disaster, Richard Schofeld, Jim Turner, Lux Luminos, Javi Denaro, Big Chunk, Gideens. Sasha, the being of chaos, is chilling and eating pine cones with Bethany and the Mungo.

Boom's Wooden Leg, will the real Maudib please stand up? Gillian C., Udun 96, Benjamin, not Franklin, Tracy Boy, Leah. Is that the Chris Hancock who traded weekly suit for the use of my kitchen table? A singular nightbird, Bethany in a green field. I am the lizard frantically firing flachet guns A E-I-O-U-Y and W Bumblefay, Mr. Epsilon, The Mothman, long-haired mat, DJ, Lenny Harris, Robert W.

Robert W. Breesabobb, Cresimira, Jessa L'A-Rin, May Day Hoops, The Bean Wizard! Myth and Stitch embroidery loves the mucklewains, Lulu, Duleo, the Brew Crew family, Burt Ruba, your most benevolent lord and master of the multiverse, Jeffrey George, exquisite whimsy,

Ellie, don't tariff me, bro. Evelyn, the wizard mooses hold out their cat for you to pet. Grimlore, existential pancakes, Ginny Waboo-Boom, errant popsicle stick, M. Horowitz, Isle of Refuge, Jack Spider's Mom, Bubblebutt Bethany has banana breath, llama fresh, Jair the Benevolent Destroyer, Valtiel Heller, Sad Little Earth Monkey, Revin the Red Beard Wizard, Bert Bert and the Funky Bunch, Corora the Twelfth. Bethany 2, Electric Bugaloo, Welcome to the Kwan Pound. Pen, Penn, Pen, pen, pen, pen. If Mr. Mucacho-Kaiser-Schnetzel caught an owl after dark, would he be a midnight birder? The wolves in the deep freeze say, ah, woo.

Julie Hammond, Sanctuary Moons No. 2 fans. Simpson, Alice Lewis, simply Amy Sue. I pushed her because Joe said so. Even older Liz, McBearcat, Grapinfeather, Citican druidic scientist. Astro, your friendly neighborhood, android, Moonlight Zombie Fox, Old Doc Racy, the Midnight Missionary, Out There Somewhere, Looking for you. Rotten Ronnie sleeps in grandma panties. Squawunky! Artist Dragonborn, Bigby Garage, Bill Zangana Lester, Joaquin Jimenez, Big MF Juice, the SIP, Muffins, Spacewives are officially Verge and D-Drop, Chad Hatter cosmic tea maker of the Triads. Captain Jack Harkness wants Peter the robot. Tell your cat, I said, ppspsps, pips, pips, psal, banana manaz, a corgi cold kibble, Cudley Crackin, Sarge the Bard, Seminity, L.L. Cool Mint Jams, Travis Robertecis, the other original

Caitlin, Kandaddy. The jaded umbra gets slightly less jaded as peace once again returns to the land. Leah Izotti, Millie was taken, Dead to Me 86, B. Camp, Shan Man, Man Man, Carma Camillion, Kenran says hello, Zoe and her army of mice, Briar Long Lost, Daniel, Sammy the Baby Seal, Trixie Bell Du Bois, Dr. Boutiologist the glutes doctor. The Hood's Pocket Police are asking for public tips about their stolen station toilet. Currently, they have nothing to go on. Thank you for pressing, too. Your Anglophone Emotional Support Canadian request will be processed in the order in which it was received.

Queen Sirley Jess, RIPL Lance McLean, you would have loved Midnight Burger. Adam Toeclough, Dr. Bichcraft, Sassy Cat the Space Vixen, Claire Rock, Jekka, Eros de God, the size two fish you've been looking for, Eokai, Borgia, spiders are cuddly. The main immortal penball sounds in the diner. Cheal, Neal. Sin City Scuba Steve, Polywag, Michaela White, Elena Pickle, Wilbur Winklewright, wristwatch wrangler of West Worcestershire, finally spots Red Nell as the Carnage clears.

Professor Thaddeus Snookams the 8th. Mr. Grin, Glenn Petrovsky. This moment of silence, so joke and catch his breath, is brought to you by Rick Tyler. Elizabeth Hammond, CheapCon, the real CheapCon, coming to you from the frozen Midwest wastelands, except no imitations. Steam Vision, Conductor of the...

the interdimensional time-spanning hype train. Dave Harold, Wisecube, Dirty Diaper Fussbutt, and the Piggy Runt. Bromine. Bromine. Pronounced Bro-Mindga. Mother of Pearl. Fiona now owns Leif's 18-inch Peter. Sealface, Rigor Mortus, Megan's Things Megan Makes. Coilane. Trebex reject. Prophet of the god of the Mucklewains. Darth O'K. Comes in Peace. Aaron Arnold. Booyoyo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-o-as. As in Boingy. Mamamomander, B. Ross and Sluntmaster Jay. Alpacalyps. I'll take one butter and brie on rye, please. Elliot Paints, Undead Akira, the Lord Reverend, Ryan, Thomas's 10-tenibras tenniferous tennterrously tantamout to telling totalitarian trope termination tales. The lovely Lara Lovely.

Keith Gamgey, Sam Wise's Flamen Cousin' Cousin, Daniel, Jeremy the ruler, Goethe, Charles Robert Darwin III, Esquire, Ph.D. Jacob Mitchell, swooning for Verge, Zeke in the Box, Stevie Crowhill, How to Get Jack from John, The Adventures of Magpie and Brown Bear Scrubs, Becky, Just Some Guy from Adelaide named Ryan, Remy, the Panda crew, Melody Prime, Beardow the Wizard, Captain Benjamin Hawkeye Pierce, the German short hair pointer from Nashville,

wants to tell his mom Maddie that he says, wholf, whiskered. Any two hands for the double high-five, Marissa the Ghost, local snowplows in your area are dying to meet you. Brotherford beat Chesterfield and his dapper companion, Winchester, Cheshire Corgi, Stray Cat, Old Kelsey No Shoes, Zoldia, Dizzy Flame. We serve everyone eventually. Sasha, Beth and Alan Van Gillis, Lankston North, Sly Fox, aka Brer Rabbit, Pants Darts Champion, the constantly lost geographer, Timothy Aiotis,

Chance wants you to know, he cares. Wolfs Stark, Elliot, Hobbs Decoe, Natalie Bartlett, Rory of Yin, Mooby the Golden Caffe, Giovanni Salinas, Rocky G, Perry the Pirate, Aaron Elizabeth, K-narcotics, Solomon Price, A Daydream You Won't Escape, Bubba 485, aka Shimb. The Chimelbach the Christmas Whale. Kaiju Summelier. Stella Corvus. Jesus Garcia. J.P. The IT guy. Candyman fight.

John Peters. You know, the farmer? Barkley on the Holladeck. Dapper Dad. S.C. 049. O. Magis. Raven the Dreamer. T.K. Turtle King. Mike M. Space-based lasers. Captain B and Lady G with their swabs. Marla, Madam Lotus, still especially loves Finley.

Mr. Steamwave. My friend the Rhino reminds you it takes strength to be gentle and kind. Whoop, challenge. Dream Founder, I'm your Huckleberry. Elizabeth T, T, Tie, the Wonder Hamster, and her dear darling Duke, Grandpa Gus, boombastical Kim Licker, Coco Yumi took her painted ponies to a show and won three awards. Hugamuffin, Bigfoot of Doom, D.L., Annie Atkins.

A bounty hunter called The Crandy Man. Garo. Our cat said to tell you, meow. Your boy of indeterminate origin, Benjamin Ortiz, Mr. Frog President. Pop Rock Quicksand. It's the Benny Yapper's Benny Yapping Birthday. Mr. Squizzle-Sizzle, Whizzle-Fizzle, the horrendous apologizes for conspiring in the Bethany War, invites for tea are being sent now. Abanaso, Mr. Rage, Adelor, Trans-Space Dinosaur, Spooky Spader Storytime, William Kent, Andy,

the McJimmy's from your local dimension, Xavier Killingsworth, Jake the Cook, V. Greenly, two daddy jazz hands from mouse-toots. Some days you're the Beatles, some days you're the dong. T.O. Luter. Thomas Adams. Stephanie Boot, Ryan Abbey, Rosemary, Ron Hayden, Robert, Vat, Richard Ryan Moshe, Rachel Vasquez. I hope something good happens to you today. Yes, you. Nyavan Tury, Michelle Myers, Michelle Hopper,

drink spiller, Martin Dears, Luca Vicito, Lauren Mayer, Kevin Dottry, Calatty Arena, Justin Wiley, Josie Jones, Glenn Morris, Fridge Pickle, Fall of the Berlin Wallaby, Lizard Lee, Elijah Sharp, Donald Schingler, the beloved yet borderline inappropriate empire of Dr. Thunderbud and Lady Cristobel, Boots Guden Dave, Entropy Eigenbases,

Daniel Stavvy, Dan Gentry, Deflower, Britt Littlefair, Brett Zimmerman, Anthony Lakey, Andrea Crowther, Ali Upsi, not to be confused with Upsi, Lane Kiffin is a ho, Mimetic Hygienist, Rogue Art, Aaron Star Joshua, Starrin'Ele of the Star System, Claude de Claw's, Spunky Dan, Rachel Seymour, Chis Alphridge the Bullheaded Professor, Ed Boy, Ryan Finnelly, Jonathan Kay, Pearl Null, Another Monster, Petabyte Avatar, Tugwin the Mighty, Project Octopus, Ken, Chibs, 102, Scotty Oates, Beirotron 95. Happy 13th birthday, Danny.

Dance break. Spikou, the Bracken system and its home world, Ren, simply Tony. It will always be Fenley's workhole to me, if you know, you know, Gabriel Castion. Whom, what, when, where, and why is what all thigroney say

while listening to Midnight Burger. Nico de Gallo goes great on Midnight Burgers. A drum major and a trapeze artist walk into to Connie's bar. Retorted. Sir party animal. Beiro the motherfucking dragon. Of the Shreve Port, the motherfucking dragons. Uloid Jackal.

Are he sure you Mike Rob the Nancy Sinatra? Court need to leave it alone if you want to live. Must be a witch. Cat with a K. Miss Schenfrizzle. Mithagrone. He has a first name. Stompensino Mustachio.

Lucafer has a Kyle, Lachi Wawa Brava, Adeline Peets. C.C. Carousel. Court the Destroyer. Honest Puck. Caspers Mom's a Milf. Scout and Foxglove says the floor is lava. Red Nell.

hiding in a crowd of Bethany's to avoid capture by Wiley Wilbur Winklewright, wristwatch wrangler of West Worcestershire, Kurdomsky. Craig Armstrong, Plastic Fork, Dulce Studios presents Under the Truskin Sun. Get out of Mabuth. Bug. Propagator? I hardly know her. Sad Angry Crabman, Chuck McFinley, Effie and Zebulon's trans great-granddaughter, Hazel Hayes, Velocity Girl 42, Little Dragon and a Cauldron of Bats, Ben Carlyle, Flat Steve's love for grand theft. Anna Kearney, Crashly Strange Lilia, the four schnauzers of the apocalypse, Starblaze Burnbright, Imzukioki, Spotted Rhino and her hand-me-down frogs, Red Mafia Panda, Lonely Isle, Kai Dallow headphones, Hinkle, Pike Man Stover, Fover, Fawnella,

Pankman Stover's wife, Alexander the boss, Scrizzles, Thwap, Kitty, Gitty, the Firekeeper, The End is Nye, Jeremiah the canceled, librarian Alex, Spike and Faye, Speedy McSpeedy, Eli, Wolf, Brandy Gunter. Auntie Becky is owned by five rescue cats. Speckled Unicorn. Jedi rides again with Nova the Space Pirate. Tevin Long Blades Short Sword. Forget normal.

Damn! C.J. Johnson. A dragon sitting on its hoard of dice. Wendell Whitaker. Chumbo Wombo. Fikachu. Smivey. Globed Roulette.

Andrew Fuller. Bon Mi Hong. The Soup witch. Fetishini Alfredo. Cowboy and Sasquatch Hunts the Bethanyes. Pebbles. V.V.

F.E. Rallings. Megan Hazen. Philip, your dad is not your dad. Nick Beaure, Midnight Plummer. His Royal Highness, Mr. Hamilton Underfoot Kitty, the first, and accomplice, Princess Penelope, the Marchioness of Mischief and Maven of Mystery. Megan Gentry, Mr. Cherry, Our Ass is in the Jackpot, Tubby Teddy, Wayne Heiser, India Inkblot, Slav of Bahamette, Omie Gracie, Dalton Jenkins, Kat Holtz, Calarton the Tired, The True Mega Mike, Fred and George, Lavinia, Ava Maddox Jr., Liza Wirth, Cass Williams, Christy, Yeat My Boy, 46 Toolshed 2, an El Marie catastrophe, the image collector, blended music, definitely not Kevin, sitting squirrel, Patricia E. Melt missed everyone, a round of yorgs on the house.

Red the Grey, the Silver Crow, Couch Potato Alex, Neverchild, Dr. Nossos, Interdimensional Biologist, Kuboko Dunord, Lil Kev, Kozeme, Theodrax, Joey B, Lucas Barting got his dad to listen to Midnight Burger, Little Debbie Cupcake. Terran says, hey, Oreos are Rabbit. Sandlewood Mountain offers peace for your soul. Wimical fuckery. Megan with an H. Hey, it's warranty lady. Look, I've been thinking.

Maybe it'd be best if we, you know, saw other people for a bit. I need more. Patricia the Time Lord. Kashak, the Lizard Wizard casts jelly bones. Mango connoisseur. Pretty bug and the quirky jester. The big moose is loose aboot the hoose. That old glory coal.

Janelle Miaoaney's Cat Butler. O'Sheen Lou. Alex Berry. Andrew Oakden. Asymmetrical exile. Chirocat the Sun God Eliza travels the universe Lindsay Bowen the goddamn podcast lawyer

Alex Spence Dr. D. Birdcloth, Swether and Mrs. Duboptoe Birdcloth weather want to say hello to the whole Spweather family. I lost my galaxy britches in a game of pants darts Angry Ron, Dominus Caesar,

Dirkadubb, glorious ex-girlfriend, Kelly Clickspring, The Wild Thistle, most likely Cass. James Harlow is still sad about missing BurgerCon. Jasmine James,

Dr. Cabaran, also known as Omni. Thanks, Waffle Shack. Cotto, Colorado Beekeeper, Fruitcake, Zephyr and the Witches Den, Anatha, Zendria. Jennifer Culkins, Midday Burger, Don Parks, Throat Goat 666, oh my God, my dad found out about my Patreon name. Princess Leia, Fish in a Bag, September previously observed in the pattern. Prime Freak, Protector of the Scottish Realm, Little Lord Stevie Pie, Droid Pirate Finley, and his Rubin-esque parrot. Droid Pirate Finley and his Rubin-esque parent.

Stuck in a pit of Skittles, Sea Squatch, Difflatermouse, Tony Piokarsky, Adrian R, the devil from Table 12, Javier, Crazy Thadley, Cremulus is just happy to be here, the Twisted Twigster, Real Housewives of Seagius, Fay Queen, Upschnart, the Probability Demolition Expert, Showtime, For My Mother, CCTX Girl 6823 waiting on the diner, Nicole Studioso. All of my planes are shovels. Kay the Flying Penguin would like everyone to know that penguins are not native to Greenland, no, not even flying ones. Truck Stop Sandwich, Indigo, Escargo, Love My Captain, Joe Mow Wondering Biscuit, Castriff, Ames Affection for Internet Protection, Retro-M-G, NightScript,

Widget the World Watcher wearing a waistcoat and wig. Lanna, banana, meatball. Lena, banana, meatball. Uttreden Rose's Viking Void vitals, fueling the intergalactic fight against fascism. Yeah, not sure what I'm doing. River Brown, Senior Deuce, Scullacy, Warped Rider, Tim Nacey, Ruben Clamzo, Turwin, Hugh the Minimongo, Morgan Brockman, Sylvie, Friendly Neighborhood Fire Protection Engineer. Skull bulb. Dustin Watson, Betty White 813, Randy Supreme and Queen Lancaster.

Bolivar Snagnasty. The One True Cheap con. Star Scribe. Lucy and Thunderstruck. Ho! Mamma! Glorbnar 7 now granting refugee status to victims fleeing the Bethany Wars. Dooser now identifies as Roman Durge, the other Adel, Chef Galvow, Leah Hall, Sarah May. Minsky Enterprises is excited to announce that Cone of Silence Consultants LLC has been named its exclusive provider of logistics services. Silly Willie Bubblebutt, Sierra not from Arkansas. Zigo! Ebenezer Boob, Caleb Tumiala, Jason Woods, Arnie Arbuckle Esquire, Digital Flouf Lost in Time, potion maestro, Nebula Nell. Regulators? Mound up. Wandering Scholar. Pringle over coffee, mad yogi Eileen, a cat named M, Petito Pato, Pato, Palace, Big Mo, Demonic Norwal Eight.

I am Annie, I live forever in every moment I've existed, I swear to every star in the cosmos I never forgot, was a gift. The Stone Fox. Tricia Schaefer says, Ew, David, that is a not a taco. Sylvia, Jusitan, Pappitos, Rahr, Hauer. Henry the Goose, Jennifer Baumer, Ninja Grim Reaper, Miles Nelson, I am a bomb until I think of something better to do. Everett words. Hot-shot Huntley, Momo's Mama, Mama, Space Mormon says what? Ivy Paisley, Toast, Sue Watts, Mertle, Caitlin, Leader of the Unicorn Revolution, Matlock, Lord of the 13th Sea, Mr. Trigvie, Printing with Cats, Calisi Del Mar, Von Vega, Dixie Dina, 7,000 Possums, Sarah Jack Sparrow Space Pony, Revive, Debbie E, Emma, Mr. and Mrs. Owo, Dusty Ventures, and his pilot Uzi drifted through space. Ronnie Porter, Gloria's Line Cook, Eagle Rock Lobster, the Gabbiest Painter and Her Bird of Fire.

Wondering Wenjo, Painted Oni, Q Dell, Farrell, Emily with two E's, Spaceman Nathan, Ramsey's Niblick the Third, Karpunk, Kerplunk, whoops, where's my Thribble. Jackie Wavlet, Yeoi Gagarin, D. Grytsler, a Gremlin with the Munchies, Michelle Scorakio, Genuine Jacob, Space Rooster Randy, Leopard Donut, Poofithang, Mello Nuggets, Keychain Crap, Matt, Matt, Sharkman, Steeleau, Bum, Buffy's Dae, A Quasaw, so Joe can sip from his tiny teacup. I should get like a Samovar, right? You remember those from like a Chekhov play, like it's condensed hot tea? Panda, Curtis Lillig, Kennedy Allison Farner, Tristan Stolles, Dalyan Y, Shadow Rapture, yet another Nicole, Hank the Wonder Lama, Arcraft, Russell, Zephyrus Wind, The Ornament, Jay to the Lynn, just a regular fox, Jeremy Impson, what the hell, Cineplex, and all the black people in North Carolina.

Just Rachel, waffles, waffles, waffles, waffles. Danger Girl, Atlas Bear, Patty the Ginger, Ava's Cigarette Ash, Hugh Biftit, A, Zeus, Anaphylaxis, scab with Comtacks, the shape-shifting sad girl and her girlfriend say, Joe, you've done it again, Pippleskinn into Pippie Pond, Sarah Nicole, The Kells fights with the Bethanyes, Angry Leafs, Lasersaw, Magnus Aerochill, Amy Perry, Christophirky, source decay, descendant of the spweather catfish whisperer. Vagabond Mary, Randy's Amigo, Bold Mouse, Katie Mermaid and the Delinquent Duo, Nalmon, Nicole, Victor Schauberger reincarnated as White Mountain Hillbilly Glitter Cupcake, Max Danger,

Max Danger's Dangers, Security Chief Shatsy, The Anx Peach, Michelle and Billy, Nea Nix Reno, Franconator, Nortle Bash, Jordan, Rwinx, Rasko, Ryan Rosinski, average height, medium rage, audio monkey, Joe, Team Hafe of Eisen, Monica and Mason K. In the mysterious AZHQ, I'll grant you that we have a multiplicity of mics, a jumble of James as a trifecta of Tonys, one of whom still wants to be Laif, but sadly, no Bethany's. Rowan, Lady of the Black and Herald of the Stars, Arienne Can't Manage Normal, Ryan Burnett, The Joyful Nylist, Dr. Dr. B., Zoprez and the Bumble Army,

growing into my farm boots. Superbeth becomes an RN, R.N., alongside my bootst up farm friend. Geneva Boss, Arkansason, not Arkansasoyer, Brothers of the Cosine, Uncivil Nomes, the Rat Queen Evelyn, Great Lunch Conversation, Captain Scott, Letty Lou. He was a shifty one that Nick Howard. Kinger was here, a Bobby Ray Winland Jr. Bibop Bidabaduwap, Warped Echoes, Slabs McTurps, Mr. Boston Leather, 2003. Jeremiah Franco, Justin the Nick of Time, Gothic Rainbow, So We Made It, Cody McClure, McHadley, Eternal Companion, Maxime Lezote,

Jingalos, Eris, Goddess of Nobody, Has Matilda, Ditsy Bay, Just Your Average, Reese, Kyle Church, I am a lay from the wind, static ego, some fucking swamp wizard, Lolly, Evan M. Dobson, Dave B. Nabi, your friendly neighborhood pathologist, going to be lit, Captain Emerald L, Wayne Hall, Danny Mars, externally screaming. But Bethany, I made biscuits, Skibo and Fuzzle McBumpurnets, Neelick's Tiny Wolf, Asher the Raven, Christina Senatist teleporting, BRB. The Shanes are not organized enough for a war, but there is a growing number of us, and it is concerning. Definitely not an android. Seriously, I'm not. The Wandering Welshman, Whatever Tabby, Carolyn Harper, Nikolajov, Capo the Sartorius, Z3DT, Shy Sparrows, BLTN, the Kiwi-Ducing, Dana, Dana

Boeana, Fee-Fiah Fofana, Queen Aubrey and Drake, Drake May, May Lover, Tequila Muggingbird, Snuffle Up A Goose, Damren the Space Goblin, Isopale, Exquisite Whimsy, I am Lord Zoltan, Hear Me Roar, Pocket Ghost Max, Mags the Conqueror, Wes and Heather wonder if Derek Adair will join, My cat's name is beef. Katie Kate, get your colonoscopy, Victor Casados, Emily Schmemley, work from Elvis. Boho go bye-bye for Jojo Pogo, that's a no-go, bro. Cody Monster, Collided Mind, Miss Nixie, Baby Baton Lee, Charlie Roodle, Kyle Perino, A.K., Sid the Sloth on a bike, Priya Gandhi.

The Wandering Mermaid would like you to know that the Little Mermaid and the creature from the Black Lagoon are the same exact story. Little Stevie Pie, Green Mountain Hermit, Deaf Alarctic to Bethany Stew, Two Polar Cat, Carl, the Teller of Dad Joe. Skylab's multi-dimensional, multifacic intergalactic quantum cyberverse, Verde-Soul, Galen Miller, Tess, Geriatric Youngen, Mystic Hippie, Unforcable, Local Marsh Hag, Daniel Nitz, Mavis Bacon's, Pyro's Calling, The Wizard's Supercalifragilistic Xpialadocious, and introducing Reese C. Pontiff as the 36th Doctor. Too many jans! Pamela Rose El Tierra,

then Stina says, Thud Tweed, enigmatic Catbird, Countess of Carbon, Slappy the Squirrel, luminous elk, roadian caution. Love is for the Nierds. Taz Hernandez, Captain Crash on the surviving crew. It's just Tyson now. Casper needs all the hugs, but Joe needs an O2 tank. Quote says Joe is the writer's room. Daniel Garland, awkward heretic, Devon 777, Troy Aker, Mandy Kane, Northerly Kay, Lost Basan, you know, the moon prison outside the triad. Kim Sel, silly goose, honk, honk, ad Matha, Astro Unit, Ghost, Saber Wolf, the Sleepy Mistry, Sarah Joy, Taters, precious, it's just Steve, RuPaul Atreides, mere tender creatures, Amanda Short, Chut, Brimble, Deidre, Mike Whiskey and your friend Frosty, no saguaro, Benbar, stand clear of the closing doors, please, beastly death, Sven the unlikely, Cognito-hazard expunged, Ted Wassan

Asenostria, Theosis the Theologianish, Why is my daughter so feral, send help, Fernwood Gal, Nelly G, Twinkle Tots, Gemini Sky, Phantom's mom, Callison, Hornswagland Daniel Arthur, it's a fucking dog rapture, King Humble, we'd better ask Dave, wind chimes for safety, Cameron Winterbourne Welsh, Fireball XL5, McKinsey Duna,

Alexica Habaniera, Code Stranger, wanton bet de bet, ha ha ha ha ha. Matt N, Alfie Revenurum, Momo Nikiki, Frelp, M. Lin, feed my fish, J.R. on SFP, LaHari, J. Spark, Lusid Harbor, Little Mira Leopard Paws,

Diet Night, Mars Royalty, Take 20 Damage, Maisie's Bandstand, Kim Bob, Battle Pope and Buckaboo, Snorts McGorce, Fresh Squeezed, Patrick Holt, Atlas B. Hold it now. Hold it now. Hold it now. Hold it now. Hold it. Had it. Had it. Bradley Ashby. Peter. William Dyer. Vicky Abear. Brad Maneer. Jane. Hannah Dale. Phantom Zone. Crystal delightful. Gruntled. Kill shot Betty and her steel-eyed bow. Jackie Lowy, the little pigeon. Quentin Elizabeth Jones. Lily the planetary brain. Crayed bear. Dr. Ladis Trash Angel action figures recalled after flared base causes moral panic. Which craft is the crafty lizard doing today? Noble Barrow, Andy Croft, Bippity Boppity Bum.

Megan the Meg Young. Corey Morose. Russell Bunny. Max Savage. Jenny Wren. Apprehensive Craig. Tim Aronetta. Bacon.

Nicole Studioso. Rambo. Chaos Squatcher. That homeless guy who saw the diner disappear from Rogers and gave up booze. Mary Kirby. Stephanie Sturgis. Curstin.

Hurry up and wait. Sarah Farmer and Bella Donna first of her name. Criddle. Twilio. Heidelbertie. Tom Webster. Rashmi Vincatesh.

Maclomp. Azana the Leathersmith. Salazar the Domeade. Hayward's finest, Garin Elizondo. To my little, you'll always be my good girl. You took a piece of my heart and left a paw print on my soul. Till we meet again. Sir Schitts-a-L-L-Strakes-A-L-Sty-L-Lasks'-E-Lan,

A-R, sidewalk jam, Tonka 2005, Cruze and B. Anthony. Trick says, whee-Hi-Lee. Tibbled the first, Ellie Frog, Trey the turquoise tortoise. Freya Titmitt Mittens, Courtney the Froggologist, Courtney and Corey and Stephanie say hello, the Fonducky Wrangler,

Scram Brulee. Yay, Aaron. The singing loon. Zuzana. Celeste Yose. I'm so Antigoney Fum. I'm Avel's evil twin sister, Bethany, Katie and Noah, Hendrix the Stink, The Ambergler, Budles, Osvaldoos Simeon, Ashley Chapel Peoples, Ryan Ortega, Barbarian Bloodbath, The Deferestration of Ted's, Corrine Sabrantha, Shadowdady, Rubius Fuzzlebutt, K. Mac, The Something Something Detective Agency, Hyabuda, Eli the Electrician, Sunny D Anomily, Char May, K-on with Karma, Amanda, knock, the wondrous Mathasophon, hashtag Nissan Accura, Finnegan Robert, Jesse Foster, Samira, Flat Doug, Deary Darling, Ambient Drifting Man 80, Chris Hancock, Nicole 23, gracefully impaired, tired pirate muffin, Steve King, Laura, Roman Ronan, John Pruitt, Camel Pope, In Schuligan, Rebecca Trossel.

So good, many names, God there are. Chris from Tacoma, the real fairy godmother, Sir Alphonse Suitperson, Knight of Hood's Pocket, polished Paldron's pacing pine paths, protecting pocket from sneaky skullduggery. Mitzi Lou, Kelsey Home, still Casper's number one fan, but now armed with a quantum spatula, and ready to duel every Bethany in the multiverse with breakfast wisdom. Amanda Marie Catherine, Damien the goddamn time lawyer, Matt Mosby, St. Foo, Harry Fishnuts, Astronaweeb, Mag knows the Civil Gnome. Welcome, everybody, I'm Hydelon, and I'll be leading our Midnight Burger emotional support group. Starlight, David Pierrini, Technoranger Rick, Joe's Weeslaff, Virgo Aries Infinity, Best Buds

Danny and M. Charles Q. Choi, a bug named Nat, C.C. Rider, Hunter B, Rudra, Death the Kid, Big Whiskey, All Cockanator. Ron was here. Magic Pony, Robert Olivari, often wronged Dan, Jess Gioia, Paul A. Johnson, Killer Odd. Dr. Punt Gusher Esquire has been secretly and poorly teaching his Dungeons and Dragons players Welsh. Creator 67, Mermaid of the Dark Seas, Cosmic Shrug, Incorrigible Ross, Deborah Wales, SCRB Mark 11, Eric A. Raybourne, Maggie's Yom. R. Stoo. Anthemone. Megan Mighty. Haunt. Purple Saline. Three legs are perfectly good. Drew and L.A. Anomalous death to PSL. Vandal. Fuck. Ice. Captain BLEP. Ryan. Evie Power. Terry. P.J. says what? Amelia Lucero at all.

Fear now doesn't polish the shiny melon. Blargo, blargo, the Jazz Man. Tonight at 11. Lorak the barbarianess. Hicks. Bezzy mates. Zellus Pragma. Tuba Rick. It's just Blake. Alice Malice Apoll for forgetting to change their name for an entire year, but at least it was fun. Kelly Jane Danky, Aaron the Optimist, Thomas Stolen, aka Casper from another universe. Chadney Ashra, Lucrezia, Thornus Animator, Tamara Oliver, the Real Dirt Fairy, Marissa. Eva, no, not that one, the one within... Grimm, says, Trans rights, y'all. Zacky Nat, underwater Corvid, Spisorinkum, Snakes and Bakes, Michael Christian, Ransom,

Brun Mycelil, Grawlix and Terabang, Late Indeed Again, Theron Pyrallis, O Vega. Coming soon, dances with burritos, guacked and loaded. Aaron Mitchell, Lady Kianu Meissen, Onix Rose, Jackie Wavelet, J.R. the Hiker Bear, Velocate, Al Cave, Krusty McBeardface, Malaran, Cora, Komi Zenni, Momburg, Rogue, Lisa Geisler, Kea Chirak Yang Taipenglidha, Frick Frankdubuck.

What the Chuck? Sonu Nasuno, Ben and Jessica, Todd Van Voris, Neo DeRuso, Pici Zatouici, Inky the Crackin, Azula the Brave in their ever-faithful Squire Grabthar, Gen Extraneous, Dancing Dog Dreams, Trinket Coralie and Existentially Exhausted Bean. The Fable and Falling Network, where fiction producers flourish. Welcome to Magenta Presents, a new horror anthology hosted by me, Madam Magenta. We begin with a five-part miniseries Ghosted, starring Beth Eyre and Lucy Roslyn.

Perched on a rain-battered cliff edge, is a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of. former lighthouse. It's a charming, quirky, boutique hotel. Owner and soul occupant Beth has spent months renovating, absorbing its essence into her bones. It's an old building. You'll get used to it. But to Beth's horror, her first guest is a figure from a past she has tried to forget. Kira, Beth? What the fuck? Face to face for the first time in years, a pair must reckon with old mistakes, old grievances. Beth, speak to me. Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. And something else. Oh, I can't bear it. What is that noise?

Because the lighthouse has a past too. Beth. He's right there. Why is there blood on your hands? We need to get out of here. Kira. Kira! I can still see him.

Subscribe to Magenta Presents, wherever you listen to podcasts. See you soon, fans of the esoteric. Bye!