Midnight Burger - Welcome to the Horizon 2.7: Long Night

Episode Date: April 28, 2026

"... The night’s not over yet."Trinkett - Camille SmickerFrank - Benjamin BurdickEldin - Joe FisherDeidre - Tina CaseLeif - Tom MoormanJune - Melody BridgesDoug - Keith CableSteve - Jessica MuddCeleste - Cooper ShawTavrok - IanBolb - Joel GelmanVerge - Cat BlackardDark Leif - Tom MoormanWritten by Joe FisherDirected and Produced by Joe Fisher and Finlay StevensonTheme Song by Ian FergusonEpisode art by Existentially Exhausted BeanPagan morning prayer by Joshua Ramey-RenkSubscribe for early access, ad free episodes, additional content and more!Subscribe on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/midnightburgerSubscribe on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midnight-burger/id1537653218How about some merch? https://www.midnightburgermerch.comRead and search Scripts with PodScripts: https://podscripts.app/Explore the Midnight Burger Wiki: https://wiki.weopenatsix.com/wiki/Main_PageFor more information on our show, visit our website: https://www.weopenatsix.comFind and support our sponsors at: fableandfolly.com/partnersSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Do you like a good ghost story? Maybe you wonder what it would be like to communicate with the other side. We'll put your Ouija boards away and just listen to Rattled and Shook. I'm your host Meredith, and we've got a new season of Rattled and Shook available now, including themed episodes, guests, games, and immersive, creepy stories sent in by real people about haunted hotels, satanic panic, and ghosts galore. A new season of Rattled and Shook. Shook is available now wherever you get your podcasts.

What are you telling me? Frank? Attention to people of putting pockets. A toxic cloud is heading to town. Stay inside your home and seal all windows and doors with duct tape. If you do not have duct tape, stay in your home and we will come. Frank? Trinket.

What's going on? You need to get inside. The animals are all heading to the other side of the mountain. Right. They've got the right idea. Get inside. What's happening? the air in hood's pocket is about to become very toxic. We need people to stay inside.

Do you have duct tape? Of course. She doesn't have duct tape. Take this duct tape. Get inside and seal everything. Why don't you want people to answer their doors? In addition to the toxicity of the... What kind of visitors?

There's no time to explain you need to get inside. Well, people are going to be sick. Duck tape isn't going to be enough. You'll have to deal with that in the morning, drink it. A space foot. I should harvest more of it from Cameron's house, so we'll be able to help. We don't have time, Trinket.

It's an excellent idea, but Frank is right. There's no time. Space foot is no good to us. If it kills you in the process, get inside, Trinket. Frank, I'm going to set the phoenix down at the horizon. Meet us there. All right. Okay, drink it.

Inside. Please. Now. Okay. Sorry, Frank. You're saying you can keep the toxicity to a minimum? Not to a minimum, but I believe I can reduce the lethality. How?

If I constantly fly the phoenix in a particular, pattern over the town and I can temporarily increase the atmospheric pressure causing the toxic clouds to go either one way or the other, although not entirely. Guys. What about Lucy? By my estimation that this will be a fairly heavy gas. A mongo should be able to keep its head above the gas. That aside, we really have no idea what does and doesn't affect a Mongo.

A lot of people in town are going to be woefully unprepared for this. This is why we need to meet at the horizon. It's possible that the gas will have a high metallic content and may disrupt communications. we need to make a plan and hope for the best. Diderra, what is it? I can't breathe. Shit, Eldon? She's hyperventilating.

Jack up the CO2 in here. I'll put the hazard mask off. Deidra, you're all right. I'm completely in control of the environment of the cockpit. Your body is depleted of CO2 because you're breathing too fast. I'm going to give you more CO2. You need to try and regulate your breathing. I'm not dying.

You are not. Is anyone else going to die? We're going to be okay. Where did they take verge? Deidra, listen to me. Everyone's going to be. to be okay. You're going to be okay. Verge is going to be okay. But this is going to be a long night. Minutes are going to pass like hours. But the sun is going to come up. Say okay. Okay.

Stay in the cockpit. Keep breathing. What's the word? Everybody's locked down somewhere, but where the fuck is June? Two minutes away. She's in Deidre's truck. What's next? Verge had two hazard masks. I gave one to Tabler. Deidre will stay in the Phoenix with me while I fly in circles above Hood's pocket, hopefully suppressing the toxic gas from getting into town. Frank, you won't be affected by the toxicity. All right, and I know for a fact that not enough people have duct tape.

Who doesn't have duct tape? But I am going to raid the hardware store and go house-to-house, making sure everybody's got some. That will work. Celeste is at the military base locking it down as well. may be the best we can do. The toxic cloud will be here any minute. Okay.

And the second part? Yes. They're cold eels. Wait, where the fuck have you been? I don't want to hear it from you. Oh my God. Jesus Christ. June.

Not a word. Why does she have a dog? The dog is the mayor. What? Eldon, open up. All the things you could be doing right now. Hey, this is National Security 101. When the nation's,

is under attack, you get the president in the air. I can't believe you. Shut up. Up you go, Sparker. Jesus, you weigh a ton. Hey, Sparker. Keep him safe, Deirdre. What are we doing?

Just take this duct tape and seal yourself inside a room. Okay. The Truskins are sleeping one off. I've got to let him know what's going on. Eldon, the second part. Eels. Bolt, wake up, buddy. Look, we don't have time for the backstory.

They're bad. They try and kill everything they see. Luckily, they're too stupid to have weapons, but for them, it doesn't matter. Real zombie apocalypse shit, man. Oh, great. Should I go in? I'm scared to go in. What a Druskins look like naked?

Do I want to know? I'm going to head to the town square. I've got an idea. Yeah, well, I'm on duct tape patrol. I've decided, yes, I've decided. I want to know. Boys, put your junk away. I'm coming in.

Best of luck, everyone. Stay as safe as you can. Doug? Doug, can you hear me? Yeah, I'm right here. Okay, great. Do you need anything? No, I'm all right.

The doors and windows are sealed in the fireplace, too. Okay, good. Great. So, uh, the phones might go out on us at some point, but do not come out unless you hear the all clear from someone. Okay, okay. Oh, oh, Frank, Frank. Um, Ava Grimm's house. Yeah, what about it?

Oh, she was a big prepper, it turns out, so there may be gas masks over there. Good. Yes. Good call. head there first. Oh, oh, uh, uh, uh, Jim. Jim has asthma. Oh, Jim. Right. So, Doug, there are at least six gyms in town. So, Oh, oh, um, Lynn, James Lynn. Right. Yes. Yep. James Lynn in trailer park row. Yes, that's the one. Okay. I'll put them on the list. Good. Also, uh, Andrea. She is on an oxygen tank. Andrea. Andrea Johnson. She has a corgi called Kibble. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes.

Right. Okay. Yep. She's on the list. Good. Oh, oh. Also, Trisha Schaefer, she never closes her windows. She's got that thing about breezes. Yeah, Doug. So, Doug, I've got this. I need you to get your rifle out. Oh. Yeah, it's out. Okay. Okay. I'll check in as soon as I can. Okay. Okay. Oh, no, no. Hey, hey, you have to stay in there. there. I know that it's a tight squeeze, but you can't be out there right now, okay? It's too dangerous. I mean, what do I know? You maybe just fine out there, but let's just assume it'll

be as dangerous out there for you as it will be for me, okay? Oh, um, I got asparagus. There you go. Yeah, that, that's, um, that's my rifle. It's been tucked away for a while, So you haven't seen it yet. I used to hunt. And every season, I'd be out there. And then somewhere along the way, I just, I couldn't seem to put it up to my shoulder anymore. Somewhere along the way, I started to feel like there should be more things around. And not less.

And it feels weird in my hand. now. Boy, we've really gotten ourselves into a mess, haven't we? Doug, you there? Oh. Yeah. Hey, Steve. Yeah, I'm here. Hey, you all locked down? Yeah, yeah. I brought the Ashley Soros in and put it in the bathtub. That thing fit in your bathtub? Well, not really, but I think I can get it to stay put for the night. Where did you end up? Well, I was out of duct tape in my house, so I grabbed Rambo and headed over to the sheep's eye. I just got everything taped down and locked up here.

Oh, yeah, good, good. Oh, oh, you know, Dieter keeps a shotgun behind the bar. What? Yeah, yep, it's true. No way. Yeah? No, well, she's only used it once, but I'm, I'm, yeah, I'm pretty sure it's still there. A shotgun?

Double barrel, 20 gauge. It was T.J's. Jeez. I'm just, I'm trying hard to imagine Deidra pulling out a shotgun from behind the bar. and I can't. He seemed to imagine it. Well, I mean, it would be hard for me, too, but I was there. See, a fight broke out between some bikers. This must have been, oh, 10 years ago.

So she pulled it out and shot it at the ceiling, and the whole bar goes quiet, and then she said, who wants the next one? What? Yeah, I swear. I'm full of surprises that one. Yeah. Yeah, well, right after that, she, She, you know, excused herself and went into the back room and threw up.

Yeah. Oh, that's more like it. Yeah. How do you think she's doing? Yeah, not great, I imagine. I mean, she's up in the ship with Eldon right now. Okay, guys? Oh, hey, Celeste.

How are you guys doing over there? We're fine. We've got the base locked down between the barbed wire and a few assault rifles. I'm pretty sure we'll be safe from whatever. else, but unfortunately, our gas masks burned up in the meteor strike, so we're stuck here. Yeah, Leif and Frank are out there patrolling the streets, so, you know, don't worry about it. Sure. Since we're stuck here, anybody else think Frank being transformed into some grumpy forest creature

goes perfectly with his personality? Oh, absolutely. Oh, hell yeah. This is his final Pokemon evolution, y'all. Yeah, Frank, Frank is mega-me-earm. Mew 2. Mew 2. That's perfect.

Yeah. So I heard you guys talking about the time Diedra shot the ceiling. Yeah, yeah. Were you there? I was there. Damn. Where was I? You know what?

Don't answer that. It can't be a good answer. You can still see the buckshot above the cash register. Oh, Steve, I was going to say the shotgun's probably still back there. Maybe you should load it. Oh, man, guns? It's probably not a good idea. You think she's okay, guys?

We don't know. She's probably, you know, pretty worried. She's probably worried about 15,000 things right now. Yeah, for sure. Best we can do is make sure she doesn't have to worry about us. Oh. Yeah, I think that's a good idea. So stay in touch as best we can.

Yeah, copy that. Long night. Long night. Attention people of woodstocking. The toxic cloud is headed to... Stay inside your homes and seal all windows and doors with duct tape. If you do not have duct tape, stay in your homes and we will come to you. I cannot stress this enough.

Only open your doors for Frank. Jesus, this shit is thick. Laif, yeah. It's here. There's a dark cloud coming up the street. Where are you? I just left Trina Ward's house. You're not in your truck, are you?

No. You can't drive your truck. I know. air filter will claw. I know. I was a kid when Mount St. Helens blew. I have fond memories of June's dad trying to drive to the store when you couldn't see 10 feet in front of you. His car died at the end of the block. Lief, just tell me more about these things, the eel things. Are you hearing something? I don't know. Electrotherapy and lobotomy. Eels. What kind of fucking clockward orange bullshit is that?

I know. This is another one of the wonderful horrors of Minsky's planet. People want to be disconnected from their own mind because they can't take it anymore. They agree to a process that will give them a life of bliss. It's a lie. They become suggestible puppets. They can't think much, but, you can program them with a command, a command like kill.

Jesus Christ. I know. You hung out with these people? It was a long time ago. Well, I fucking hope so. Look, that's really all I can tell you. I've never actually encountered these things before, but I've got a theory I'm working on. What?

Are you at the shop and go? Are you going to Arizona iced tea them to death? Hyfructose corn syrup is a killer. Yeah, okay, fine, but seriously, though. As the earth holds me, as the sky sees me, as the sun rises within me, I step out to greet the motherfucking day. Are you telling me? Hi, Cameron.

I'm making a pretty big bet that I no longer need a mask in here. I hope I'm right. But, ooh, something tells me that's not my biggest problem right now. Oh, Steve? Are you still there? Steve, Steve? No, well, hmm. I guess it's just you and me. Although, I guess this is nothing new for you, right?

I mean, an endangered species. I guess I know how you feel now. Stay there. Who's there? Got a gun. You think I need to open the door to shoot you with this rifle? With this rifle? With this rifle?

No, Rambo, I hear it too. Doug? Doug! Are you there? Shit. Rambo, look, there's a shotgun behind the bar. What do you think? Yeah.

Yeah, I agree. Probably not for the best. I don't even know how to shoot it. Doug! Okay. Okay. We're okay. You come.

I'm in here, you're gonna regret it. You think you can scare me? What the fuck? Okay, okay. You wanna play with me? Alright, Rambo, Rambo, listen. We're not going out like this, all right? Not like this.

I've got an idea. Come here. Look, I'm gonna tell you up right here, okay? I'll be right back. Okay, buddy. Here's the plan. the plan. Look, something's coming through that door. I don't know what it is, but when it comes through, I need you to bark like you've never barked before, okay? Sound good?

Remember, buddy, they always underestimate us. We're going to be okay. Your CO2 levels appear to have returned to normal. Yeah, the dog's helping. I'm sure. What are These things, Eldon. Are they monsters? There are no monsters. They're just people. How is that possible? There are a few planets in the triad that are so problematic we don't know what to do with them. There's a planet called Oakway, for example.

The inhabitants are so dangerous that there has to be a constant military blockade around the planet. One of those problematic planets is Wren, where Minsky comes from. Ren's society collapsed aons ago and everything that was done to remedy that seemed to just throw gasoline on the fire. Life there is tragic and horrific. Added to that, it was used as a prison for some time. They speak of ghosts and demons of Wren. Some, when faced with the horrors of their planet retreat completely into their own minds, disconnect themselves from their emotions.

You can see them, but they appear to be somewhere else. Ghosts. Then there are those like Minsky, who seem to be able to metabolize the chaos and draw strength from it. Demons. Then there are those in between, and their lives are a waking nightmare.

They are offered freedom from the trauma of their daily lives. They are offered bliss to forget the things. things they've seen, you'd be surprised how many take up that offering. In reality, what they become are eels. Homicidal and chaotic lunatics. You drop them into a particular situation to create chaos and fear. Not unlike our situation right now. Eldon, they're in so much trouble. I can't just stay up here. There's no safe place for you on the ground right now, Dietra. Up here is where you want to be and definitely where Verge wants you to be. Am I ever going to see Verge again?

You are, Deidre. By my calculations, we are actually in much more danger than Verge is at the moment. The best thing you can do for Verge is stay alive yourself. I'm not cut out for this, Alden. If this is how it's always going to be, I don't think I can function like this. You are currently functioning. I just hyper-vinelated and turned into a basket case. You had a human reaction.

That's not a weakness. Everyone else is on the ground doing something. Deidre, there are a few thousand people that are now no longer enslaved because of you. You've done quite a lot. Look what it did to us. Thus far, it hasn't done anything to us. It's going to be a long night, but we are going to be. endure that. Who wouldn't endure a long night or two if it means others may be free?

The night's not over yet. Well, these things are fucking horrible, Leif. Are you okay? Not mentally, no. That was a fucking nightmare. It was like getting attacked by an undead rugby team. I'm working on it. What, what are you working on? There's speakers on the outside of the shop and go. I'm commandeering their sound system. Why? Ultrasound. I think if I can get some ultrasound wave, at the right frequency, it'll be like garlic to a vampire with these guys. It's going to take me a minute, though.

Okay, I'm going to go check on Trinket. Okay. Eldon. Eldon, can you hear me yet? Have you seen Trinket? No, why? Fuck. Fucking, fuck, fuck.

She's fucking gone. Gone? Frank, she can't be out there. Yeah, I know. Stay here. I know where she went. God damn it. Okay.

Um, okay. So I don't know what's going to happen first, me running out of bullets or them getting through the door. So I'm going to close the bathroom door now. And no matter what you hear, I just, I want you to stay in here, okay? And maybe they'll just ignore you. And thank you for showing up in my backyard. I think it was good for me. It was good for me.

and take care of you. Oh shit. No, no, stay in there. Who wants a drink? String it? I'm over here. I can't see a fucking thing. Where are you?

Follow my eyes. What happened? Wait for your eyes to adjust. You'll see them. Oh. Jesus. As soon as they broke down the door, they all started

choking on something. Yeah, okay. Are you okay? Look at them. They're just people. They're not monsters. Yeah, yeah. Of course, but apparently

they have something done to them and they, you know, they turn into this... I led them to their death. No, no, they were going to kill you, Trinkett. Yeah. Yeah, I know.

The, you know, the killer be killed thing doesn't really work for me, Frank. Nothing. Nothing gives me the right to do this to someone. You didn't do it on purpose. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that doesn't seem to be working for me either. Wait, uh, Trinket, do you need a mask in here?

Not anymore, looks like. I guess you can only fit so many mushrooms inside a person. We just got our own little dream house for just the two of us. No one else can live here but us. And I really hate it. I know. I mean, it's nice. the bathroom, but it's covered in mushrooms.

I mean, that, that is true. And, and, there are dead guys everywhere. So, well, it's a fixer-upper for sure. Right. Uh-huh. I was really liking this new version of me. Yeah. We can all tell.

I was really enjoying, like, being able to feel the whole, Mountain. But, uh, who, then the mountain's in a lot of pain right now, Frank. And I am too. You should go. You should go. A lot of people need you. Well, hey, let's get you back to your shop. Oh, no, no, no. I should stay. I, I'm safe in here, but I might not be out there. And besides, I, I, I just watched a lot of people die. And I think I need to stay with them. I need to, I don't know, make, make sure they're not holding on to anything when they cross over. I need to make sure they are finally free. I'll, I'll just stay here and harvest some spacefoot and, yeah, let me know when it's safe again. Okay. You sure you're okay? No, I will be. Okay. Drink it. I'll be back, okay?

Okay. Goddess of death, I stand here as your priestess knowing that life must be winnowed to thrive. This is a holy act I perform. Okay. One ultrasonic stereo system coming right up. Okay, we've got sound. Now, let's make it lethal. Shit! What are these intruders? Tavrock! Nice work, man! How long must I wear this accursed helmet? Just until sunrise. How many in this horde? I don't know. It could be a lot more. Come on. We are surrounded. All right, Tabrock. If I can get this thing running, it'll take care of our problem. You gotta keep them away from me.

Very well. Continue your work. I shall continue mine. Demons. You have become prisoners of your bodies. Allow me to free you. Sound rush to the trees. Did we win? I didn't get to use my sound fame.

Oh, well, maybe next time. Well fought, my friend. Yeah. That'll fucking show him. Should I be out here right now? You know? This sort of thing happens all the time, you know, comes with the territory. Some guy, he doesn't like how much we're charging him, decides he's not going to pay

up. You can't do that, can you? Honest work, honest pay, and all that. Uh-huh. So this piece of work thinks he can stop payment. Meanwhile, he's got five different projects across the damn triad being built by who? The good people of the planet trust, that's who. So this guy, he wakes up one morning to find that his projects,

all across the triad have suddenly stopped. Whatever could it be? Could it be that, uh, trying to renege on a deal has landed him worse than he started off? You're fucking a well told, my friend. Oh, God. Hold my drag. Anywho, so, uh, what do we find ourselves in here is a good old-fashioned Triskin Kathy break. You know, we don't move till the price is met.

Hey, boys! Turn the damn roots already. Don't make me regret the hand in the grill over to use. You hear me? Oh, Lord. Bulb? What just exploded? That little excavation charging a big whoop.

Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. And what is this dome we're in? A camper dome. You gotta have one on thrust. You never know when a volcano's gonna know. Shoot some soot at you. Wow, it's real nice. It's all right.

I thought about getting a bigger one, but, you know, the kids are grown, the wife hates camping. As long as they can hold me and the two dumbass is over there, I think we're good. My love. Hey, sweetie. Hubble. Oh, there is the man to meet the meat slab. How you doing there, Tarva? Tavi, did you come all the way out here to check on me?

I did, but I was delayed by many battles. I am glad to see you are safe here with the Giants. They're taking great care of me. I have eaten many roots. Celeste, do you have a gun? I have a gun. Turns out I still know how to use it. Her aim was true.

My aim was true, apparently. Darvok, do mine eyes deceive me, or have you got yourself a new toothpick there? Behold. Frank, you okay? Well, we've had a very traumatic night while you've been here barbecuing, apparently. We all play our part, Frank.

Oh, look at that there. That is straight as an arrow. Nice work, my son. Thank you. Hey, shitheads, how come I can't get you to do fine work like this man over here? I mean, he's hit the size of you. Truskin Camperdome. I guess that's one way to survive a toxic gas attack. Leif, Tarvok here has a new sword. This fine lady here has herself some real nice hardware. What have you been contributing to the evening? I almost had an ultrasound emitter.

Well, you know what we say on Trusk when you... You've almost made something? You haven't made anything. You haven't made anything at all, my friend. Seriously, Leif, do better. We're all contributing. We're all contributing? What is that?

Oh, Jesus Christ. Did those things get into the office? What are they doing in there? Frankie, that's your personal space there invading. That's all you, Pally. Go get them. Ah, God. I'll be right back.

Here you go, Frankie. Give them hell. We'll be sure and sit right here. And remember, Frankie, no shame and going for the Nard. Give them the main hamp dinga! There you go. Get your little ass in there. Oh, I am not cleaning up whatever's going on in there. I mean, he has always wanted to beat up the customers.

That's true. Yeah, oh. We got a runner. Tarvac, uh, get in there in a bad little cleanup, would you? One moment. Oh, boy, howdy. His head came right off, didn't it? Tarvok, you put that one in the bleach. My friend, MVP, MDP.

I am also not cleaning that up. Is it fucking morning yet? Hey, you, you saved my life. I mean, I guess, you know, you saved yours too, but I mean, it still counts. So I, um... Dog, are you there? Yeah, uh, yes, I'm here. I think so.

Could you be a bit more definitive with me, Doc? Ah, yeah, I'm all right. Good. It looks like the cloud is beginning to dissipate. I'm able to cut through the particulates in the air. Oh, good. Elvin, yes.

So when I ask you about the giant salamander that started living in my backyard, I think you may have left out some details that I would have appreciated. Really? Such as? Ah, well, the fact that it can apparently spit acid. Acid. Yes. Really?

Those things were about to kill me, and it, well, some of them are, they are melted now. Tea. Did you not know it could do that? Was aware. Oh. Oh. Eldon, I realized. you are a computer, but humans really like knowing which things spit acid and which don't.

I understand that. Oh. Well, then, what the hell, Eldon? It was relevant. Eldon. It's lovingly called an igneous burp. The female, Ashley Soros, can weaponize its stomach. acid, duck.

And you didn't tell me that why? We do so when in defense of their... I... So I'm sure you can understand why I didn't see that as relevant, seeing as you are, while an eccentric fellow, not a male, giant, alien, salamander. I am not. What's been going on down there, Doug? Please don't tell anyone about this.

Of course, but please don't worry. A bit of interspecies confusion is not uncommon. It's not going to lay subcutaneous eggs on you or something. What? Oh, well, good. But, Doug. Yes. That animal just saved your life.

Time to give it an egg. Oh, okay. Oh, how is everyone else? We've made it out relatively unscathed. Once I send me all clear, we all meet the sheep's eye. All right. Attention citizens of foot pockets. The air is now safe and the danger has passed. If you are feeling ill or short a threat, please proceed to trinket the emporium immediately. Eldon?

Everyone's all right. We made it through. We did? Yes. How long was I asleep? Only a couple of hours. How in the world did I sleep? I made an executive decision and adjusted the cabin environment. You put me to sleep?

I did. Eldon! Don't do things like that. Dietra, nearly everyone on the ground has reached the end of a very long night. Yours is just beginning, isn't it? I'm going with him. I know. Hence, the enforced nap time. Okay.

Good idea. I know. I'm bringing us in for landing by the sheep's eye. Okay. Why is there a huge crowd down there? Something rather extraordinary has happened. What? Minsky nearly killed the entire city of Rack.

It did not win him or Darklife any fans. Everyone has heard that Hood's Pocket has repelled an eel attack and rebuked the most powerful crime boss in the triad. I'm afraid the people of Hood's Pocket have achieved folk hero status in the city. Oh my God. I still can't believe they used this thing for long haul flights. It's a tight squeeze, but the small profile keeps this awful lot of scanners. Pretty ingenious, though. It's got everything.

you need somehow. Are you sure Diedra's ready for this? It's going to be a week of travel after we get through the warp gate. The galaxy brain is in a really isolated spot. I have an update on that. In this universe, there's a warp gate much closer to the galaxy brain. Really? How close? It's only a day away. One day? One day. That doesn't make any sense. I know. The whole point of the galaxy brain is that it's undetectable and isolated. And yet. I don't like it.

More convenient for us. And I don't like it. Whatever it implies, let's deal with that later. Agreed. Regardless of the travel time, I hope she's ready for this. She's ready. Hey. As ready as she can be.

I was at her house trying to think of what to pack, but... Yeah. So now I've got this backpack like I'm going to Prague or something. Hey, you never know. Leif, am I just going to fuck this up?

Is it stupid for me to come along? I don't want to fuck this up. You need to come. I'm going to need you. I don't know how any of this stuff works. That's not why I need you to come. I go to some pretty dark places. I'm sure you've heard.

Verge goes to dark places too But they're very different from mine Verge trapped on the galaxy brain is one problem But the even bigger problem will be if they get free If they get loose on the galaxy brain They're not going to care who dies That includes themselves I'm going to need you

To pull them out of that Okay Don't Have a plan without them. I know. Nothing works without them. I know. Really scared.

In my experience, people who can admit they're scared are the ones I can depend on. The bravest person I've ever met? She sells tacos. You're going to be fine. Hey, y'all. Hey, guys. We've come to give you a send-off. We've come to put the...

some positive energy into a really shitty situation. Thank you. Leave, a little weed for your journey. Nice. Thank you. Here, take this. What is this? Just a little Anne McCaffrey for your trip. Yeah, I don't think I'm going to be able to read, June. You don't have to read it. Just hold on to it. Feel the vibes. You're a space hero. and now feel the vibes. Okay. And I have mini donuts for you, Deidra. And Leif, talkies for you.

Thanks, man. Thank you, Doug. Okay, bear with me, Leif. Take this amethyst. Now I'm invincible. Shut up. Deidre, this is black onyx. Put it around your neck.

Okay. Thank you. Tavrock. Have you got that thing? I do. We have forged this. for you, Deidre. Oh, okay.

It's a knife. It is. It's made of glass? Not really. I'll explain later. Y'all, these are MREs. It tastes terrible, but they're efficient. Cool.

I got chicken chalmain. What did you get? Beef stroganoff. Thanks, Celeste. Oh, and I brought nothing. Nobody told me we were doing gift time. Everyone, as before, When I leave with the Phoenix, you won't have your network.

You'll need to be more dutiful in your communications. If all goes according to plan, we'll be back within a week. And if it doesn't, well, that's declined to think about that, shall we? Thank you for doing this for me, Leif. I'm doing it for both of us. So, is this everything you imagined? I'm sure you two sat on whatever shitty planet, that you're from and thought to yourself.

I'm going to be a criminal and live a life of adventure. I'm going to fuck shit up. But look at you. Sitting here on guard duty, tell me, is this the daring pirate life you imagined? Do they still have the parade? Are we going to the parade? You know, where you catch a traitor and bring them home to the galaxy brain and drag them through the main dock, right?

Are we doing that? The parade? I mean, I suppose arguably that I don't exactly qualify, but, you know, because I was never one of you. But I suppose I'm still a traitor because I showed you that you don't have to be a boot licker. To be a criminal. Let's get this shit over with. Look at the fucking odds. Always quick to show up when somebody's outnumbered, aren't you?

What a horde of fucking sad sacks! This is the terror of the triad. This! Do your victims die of fucking laughter? Where are you been? Welcome to the Horizon is brought to you in part by our Monte Cristo level and above supporters. Pronghorn, Billy, Bert Bert, Bethany, Second Bethany, Spike Osorio, Benjamin Davis, Twyla Sands, Alexandra Skialdone, Curtis Barnes, The Huac, Shenzo, Chris the Monster, Persephoney Wadacore, time-traveling, dimension-spanning goose, named fig, Silenzer, Chrysar, Cressara. Fernando Alacuzzi. Wad of Gore. Not that Keith. Jordan Lolly. Volpe the Space Fox. Some fucking Swamp Wizard. Skexas. Royal Punk. Tricia Schaefer says, ooh, David, that is not a taco. Zico! Udon 96, Ren the No. Latimer Lovelock of the Lacey Lady's Lovely Luxuries. Jessum Crow and the Holy Cow. Tanya Fisher. Fugnut, formerly Damned, Our Lady of Crab Walking, None, No. No.

Mad, the human. Space Viking. CJ is prepared to fight Deidre for Verge. Celestial Crow, Gavin Dees, Gavin Saler, Bessie. Molly Winter has made you sourdough. It's okay, just read my name once, you don't have to say it every time. Neve to Princess and her aunt Sue's Honey and Ember. Google's Glead. Skeptic Eddie, the humble litter box attendant. The forgotten storyteller, Mr. Woo-Doo. Chris with a K. A cat and a lemon walk into a time-traveling dimension-spanning Diner, Shart Blaster 9,000, Slangwort, Mythical Mantis, Honey Badger in a trench coat doing crimes. Elmo's chip shop, Allison Murray, Jay Cable, cranky old organist. I, Joe Fisher, being of sound, mind, and acting of my own free will, do hereby confess that I am

the Zodiac Killer, Jericho, Leon Sporkfire, Pastor Jen Jenson, Iraqi sniper, the Dick Wizard, Lou Woods, Chris Goyer, Noise Squared, Ginger Bears, Honey Bunny, and their sidekick Wicklow, The Mount Hood Torrey Gate, Mrs. Cachew, Cat Roth Daniels, Julia Gullia of the Shreveport Gullias. Leopold Gogol, Alex Drumbar, Stoner Pubby, Elisa Kelly Martin, and System University of Mihira and New Tideland. Inateb thought that they could spy in the Bethany War by spelling their name backwards, but it isn't fooling anyone, everyone. Sub-Arctic Turtle, the Femboy behind Casper, Doc U-018, Mark Kiyab, My Two-Eab. My two favorite sheep toys say hi from New Zealand. Bha-Eland, Bha, Jasonator, Namir, Sandalwood Mountain, East Coast Branch, Ash Draw Stuff, Christy the Chaos Coordinator, Luna Anzul, Joshua Baker, Grant Blackburn, the Bean Count

Bandit, a Margin' Mage, Silent J, Gio, Buzz Baleb, the Boom guy, Boom! K-Man, Mimosa, David O'Banyan, Polar Green's Irish Ristwatch, Carman L7, Live on the Under Signal, Flat Dug with the Weather, Dizzy Miss Lizzie, Mostly Harmless Alien, Ledger. Cala Sum, right behind you. Gonzalo Martinez, world's largest ball of string. Bucky Chipmunk reminds you that you lost the game. Samuel Lefew. Hesthaden Nepritham. Flashcards, A-N-K. Nicholas Dyke. Nina Cuneo. A resting place for weary beans. Shane Hopkins. Juniperb with the backwards knees. Eve in the between hour. Two-faced Janice. Zez Maldo. Slight Burn. Scooter. Worshipper of the seven cat gods. Kelsey

Manette, the amethyst dragon with tiger eyes, Martel McKinney, Spitboy the Spit guy, he spits, Ice Queen, Laser Girl and the Nurse, Where Are Our Oars? Caddy B, go ask Alice, West Kester saves the world. Valen's three cats stacked atop each other wielding a plasma gun. Jeffrey, purple-nerple nullifier, scam likely, oops, wrong podcast. Clown Baby Doctor, Reapers Passed, Late Indeed Again, Rex, Cricket and Frankie, Brigitte, Spadius, Squitty, The Frost Hunt Scientific Collective, two of us have PhDs and the third has memorized all of Ava's dialogue, Champagne Supernova, Robin Smith, 11-letter Christopher, Ronald

Lee Parker, Sasquatch, Antonia Ortiz, a block of ice, wheat lecoche is corn smut but classier, Wren the Crescent, Erica Davis, Jane Doe, John Gormanshire, Magic Incognito, Lord Dresz, Solaris Nova, Sandlewood Mountain North, cryptic amorphous, about 45 degrees, Mandy, Big Cat Makes Kitten Go Pur, Ted Ted and Teddy. Hi, Bruce, enjoy your walk through them all. Parker Barry, don't actually say this part of my name, just say my name, please. Dr. L. L. your Jamaican fan says Waguan, Jerry the Snake and the Cannibal Cows, Tula Blue and 142 Bugaloo, Pistolu, Pistol Death Lotion, Intergalactic Trans-Dimensional Burger Pirate, Penny Pilot, Debbie trencher, that one dude who likes tacos, Mark the list to name Loser. The male escort. Lady Bethany,

aka Mrs. Turkey Spit, Junior Barting, the father of Lucas, Ava Maddox's Ashtray, Adorkeldies, Vera Torkelson, Bones, Lizard Breath, and the Snot Rocket would love a spaceburger, Andrea Rose, Samantha Orum, Caden Suda, Bat Love's Dragon, Tommy Johnson, Unhip Fern, Noodles by Godzilla, Ralph Capone, Corey 83, Blues, Liz wants Laif to build her a plane. Dude named Blake. John Caleb Williams. Deislexia. Yontalius.

Kian. An eel exchange student from Midsdaberti last name. Ratrick. Ricklin, like Rich Land, but without the D. Dyer. All Bethanies must do the hustle. Jordie Ladbrad. Natasha without Boris.

Frost and Alice. Lobster possum. Loftrax's drag name is Anne Archist. A mostly morose ghost eating toast. Hey, Leander. you kiddo. Malort Boy. Jinks the Cat would like to offer you biscuits. Have a zesty day. Megan. Malcolm Edwards. Spend my money irresponsibly. Stephen Drop. Dana Thanehathanielson, son of Dana-athaniel or Danny for short. Chris Eaton. Cross Stitcher Who Loves the hobby and time travel.

Funch Brunglin. Nash likes apples. Njord Flanders of the Cousbeye Dirt Bags, Pennsylvania chapter. Pneumatic Yeti. Late Trucker. The Eldred Schaefazoa. Wyatt Frihover, Paul, James Bell, Dave Davison, Broom Goddess, Theodore and the Sons of Ted, Ricky Burnett, That New Guy, De Savage Indian, Radboy, Hayden Brown, Gray Craniac, Jules Weeks, Calf, the Generous Patient Rose, John Wilkes Booth's Freedom-Loving Horse, aka J. Willikers, neckbone, his imperial dudeness. Oh, hey, it's Jay. Lou the Ghost and her mom. Cinder and the Beast of the Maze are in the Deep Freeze. Grim, off the internet, wants Harriet to know he loves her.

Ernie Brooks, Titan King 707, Rich Francis, Burger Kaspa, Spaspa, no relation, Jedi Shaolin, smart aleck the great, gas station crypted, Deuskashik, Bird Bird the Birds Bird, cheesy McPhish, Papa Goose, sometimes I do feel like a plastic bag.

A very spicy walrus, Amanda Bill's Misty Wordpower, Casper's Danish Moose, Flacco, aka Johnny R, the Disco Spider, Leaf Tracks, the Rise of Leaf, Chapter 2, the Ted Slayer Unchained, Vicki A Bear, Pike Daniels, the Cosmic Whale, Zansatsu, Mr. and Mrs. Van Limberlost, Murdoch, Wang, Caterpillar farmer. The Monte Cristo Peace Prize Committee has found the real Joe Fisher tied up in a closet in Botswana. So, who's reading the list?

Chimera, Don Moat, the space trucker Chadwick Coden Doyle III, Jody Green, Nix Minks, Monster Senshi, Heather got her divorce, drinks her on the house. Michael Peters, political knitter, seasonal Sasquatch silently seeks secret society, so special souls softly sing sweet songs, smartly stirring strong stories. Physicist, Brendan Shoneman, I divided by zero and now I'm undefined. Laughes here, Mag Tremmer. Rod Stewart the Sailor Slayer, James We Met, the listless enjoyer, Ash Morningstar, and her traveling animal shelter, Miss Maxine. Not the time-traveling dimension-spaning Tim Hortons. I can't handle this information. The goat. If you don't believe me, just ask me.

Boy got them honka honkers. Kevin O'Malley. Invisible Guerrilla. The Mrs. Poland. Zamaniac. Hop loves a thugbot named Francis. Pam the Infinite. And Thou. Curiosity is eating your bones. Revolutionary inclined Oscelot. Matt Howler, Andrew Bear.

Marius de Joa. Butterfly Fox. Riot the Trani. The fish did not acknowledge her. Irma the Lama. 27 Keep it tight. Chip, Gloria's right-hand Jack-in-the-box man. Giam... Grim Knight.

Pike Daniels the Whale. And Thosceles Bethany Maximus Lord of Kingwood, Texas. Ragnar Jensen, Addison Weirdo Wagner. Shua the Druid is composting the rich for a salad bar. Aramand 0305. Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for night breakfast. Jim Wethers, Titus Koslov, ashes of a burnt-out lathe. I'm a kung fu panda on the wind.

Brandon A.R. equals Thor. I love you all. never forget that, especially in trials, and Laboosa's voice brightens my day. The intergalactic House of Cats demand a free Palestine. Electromancer, Chekhov's Space Cannon, Corey Senses, Surf and Turf Telecoms, I'm a Jin, red and dusty with his garden goddess, Shelby Morrison, Kobe's Dingleberry, Mystic Monster for Chaos, Ziggy Dreadful, Rave Hands Malley, G-Wing, Frank One, I'm just here to refill the Parmesan cheese, It Is Sparks, Lost Girl Lou, Chris B, Middle American Penguin,

Shanna Welch, Crochade Cosmos, cookie chunks, you heard? Andy the Celestial Penguin, Jackie Orion, Misty Lovebug, Bo Nunley, Ariana Castillo, The Tall Deer that portends great change. Lita Mettinger, Marco, friend, as in Your Best, Lime Ghost, M, Icky Blurgs, Jay the Erasible, The Magic Committee, Committee of Anything Magical, Theodora of Falwell, Ian Full, 345 uneducated swine learning to swing dance. Nova the fuck accountant is definitely not a tangle. One intergalactic year with Big Potato 99, aka The Rat Lady, AKA Bumblebee, aka AK-A-K-47. Kai, just a little guy, Ender Wright, Mark Naza Warritz, Zinia, the Capturer of Light,

Duncan Albert, Theoretical Chemist, Xavier Dasher, Chris Loves to Read, Katie Machalick, Greg Andrews, Lyons. In memory of Jason Reese, get your butt fingered, That Girl Gracie, Magnus von Caffanheim, saucy little beast, Andrew Hight, Longtime Lurker, Scooter, The Unlucky Sun, Jennifer Myers, Lady Lazarus, Anazi, Lord of Stories, Donnie Darko, Tim Shin, Caitlin and Cate's Neverending Podcast Adventures, Whisper Dan, Keo the Panda Puppie Forklift Operator, Ruby Cherries, Nick Faye, Buttholen, Justin and Amy Triplett, Jen Sims, Penelope, Ring to the Motas, The Leatherman, Odd Commodity, Gen Before, Ander Rho, The Easter Bunny is just Santa in a suit, Elf U. Earth Witch, Leah Prime, Gregory Santoro, Mothmull, Not the Fucky Fried Chicken, Robert Drapeza,

dimension-spanning time-traveling little guy, Eono, Jonathan Tolbert, Mr. Put It On 06, Hedgehog Hen, Jackson Bell, Katie Chambers, Jay the podcast lover, Dick Rickles, Chapter President, damn glad to meet you, Malcolm Flynn, Samuel Lee, Josatron Prime, Oh my God, I forgot to change, my name from Nicholas Beckler to something more cheeky and fun. Arwin the freer. Throat Goat Goat 666, I am your father. Addie Slosson, Inconceivable Kai. Red Rum 916. Nick Waycaster.

Gotham still fucked up. Batman really ain't doing shit when you think about it. No good monk. Rye. Yes. Like the bread. Sarmann Seyed. Three pandas in a trench coat named Bethany.

Johnald Grimbus. Matt Knight Bouchager. Gavin Mori. Damnitri. Antromeda. Stephen the Choi. Gloria's authentic earth coffee. Gabriel T. Can someone find me the Parmesan?

The treasure trove of troublesome trolls. I did this for fun. Cookie Nebu. Axel Zapata. Siona the Goblin is bringing Laifa Laserspoon. Jason McDonald. Orionda. Bean Dino.

Philip Lennox. Hugh J.2. Brian Montgomery. Artemis Record. Safa Alusi. Trev Brax. Gunner Tweedle. The Bard without a ballad or a mallet.

Nazo. Platform Jail Mechanism Burn Museum theorist. Hold, please. K-Kayow, Empress Squishy Face of Greater Catopia, Anna Garcia, Goblin King, Rays of Noop. Kiki's best friend would like to go to breakfast, bubberduckle, Yeager Luce, Terry Cads says, Hello, Ernesto. Leaf Tracks, The Rise of Laif, Chapter 1, Loft Tracks retires, The prodigal Elym, Catalyst for Chaos, Sculliver, Sam and Shane, Asoka likes hugs, Going Anonymous, V, Ma Dukes, U.S. Marshal Stacy,

Ooh, Chickadee, Dango Dale, Esty, not the website. At every moment in every corner of every possible world, there is always a way home, and it's already found you. Jiao Paolo Lemos, Odd Keep, the sentient lighthouse, the faceless old Bethany who secretly lives in your home, DeShane, Tanya Fisher, Appalachian Death Queen, Zosifer Dogo of Doom, Burnt Barbecue Beef Briscuit, it's official, they're called Thigroney's, Kevin Wynens, Marlon C, just whelmed, Madame Paris, Cherish Hellfire's Hellish Chairfire, Lichen Lady, Midnight Club, Cameron Agnesee West, Knox, Lisa Lou, Emmett Hale, The Triads Baddest Goblin, Emryon Lano, James Miles, Brown Coats Love the Diner, House Chaos of the Crittercophony,

Max Nia and Ivan, Sixth, Sick Sheeks, Sixth Sheeps Sick. Nope, never mind, it's Mark. Minion Simone Mimi Davis, Mr. and Mrs. Ronald and Misty Don Mitchell, Jr., Guy Tertle, Wayne Barahona, Jesse the Dragon Rider, We Will Not Rest until Puerto Rico and Palestine are free. Pluto Crow, Nisysmom, Pokesplort, Whiskey Rebellion and Gen Riot's Interdimensional Detective Agency, Zephyrithrault, Altrian, Shibu, and Griff, Slim Nandy, Goth Laif, Jen and Britt,

Adriana Bartolomucci, Jonah is gay, The Midnight Ashes, Hornetti, Bally and Fair has retired and now raises herds of mungos. Hood's pocket protector, listening to Ava Singh poisoning pigeons in the park, made my shitty day instantly better, Valky Storm, Patricia Who's always late but somehow on time, D.C. Squirrel, Kyle the Interstellar Highwomen, Shelley Act on the Verge, Gail Friend, Rubber Cake, Clover the Clown, the Sparky Tech, Prop the Crocogator,

ringleader Volt, jazz punker, Captain Tight Pants and the Companion, Agent Night Breakfast, Braddy for Mission Control, Renee N, Catarina de la Playa, RIP, Elie Waffles, the Flueh, Acky the Space Druid, Phantomland, T-T-R-PG Dice, Curiouser K-8, Your Local Blacksmith, Ash Montgomery, The Boggiest of Birches. Jason, HVAC Tech for the Diner's Deep Freeze.

S.K. Phoenix. Glitch the Gamerer Error, Zephyr the Weffer Montgomery Foxworth, Maryface, Luan Cherry, Peppermint Pearl, the Interdimensional Space and Tea Time Witch. Nicole 6-4. Amara Salazar, Banjo Buscolo,

Full Beans, glorious forgotten Ford Vistiva, Brandon Wright, night breakfast at the Midnight Culdron, Force for Good-ish, Mark Scott, Rosie Mum, the Judah, Slater Morales,

Intergalactic Frylord, gravity is optional, but fries aren't. CJ's Big Barbecue Bistro for Bethany's. Angel Vasquez. Evil the Cat. Stephen Raymer. J. Carp Fishman. The Great Goblino. Low oxygen.

Save the Mungos. Jogi the Birdwatcher. A flock of gray horses from the top of a sycamore. Lilac Morcella. Rachel Krempa with special thanks to my best friend Lizzie and my husband, Steve. Don't worry about the order, honey. Your tig old biddy, yean milf, majesty. Temporal Hash Brown, Diane Brown, Captain No Sleep, Jamie Rainey, the Slim Reaper, Rubin Eden, Smedley-Pie-Snodgrass the third, but please pause two to three seconds and then say, call me Smetty.

The Shreveport Bohannans, CC the Umbrella Mage, Bradbury's Sasquatch loads Chekhov's gun and rides to join Bethany's Army, din, cosmic ketchup, lack of lifestyle. Joe definitely didn't forget about you, August. August, it's Chapter 52. Stay frosty, my friend. Moosey, Hood's Pocket, Gear and Sprocket, Local Repair Cafe, The Crafty Introvert, Postmaster General Kwan sent me, Blake Basmajian, nitwit 14, roiled way too harshly, DJ Johnny B, the Klopman Diamond, Marco Montano, no longer doing a bit, shiny fields, Adam Tatchack, Christopher Wendell, Unproductive Banana, Pulcifer the Paulist of Paulism, Zombie Spider-Man, Bex 823, Auntie Cripted, Barry Heap, Gas Mask Penguin, In the Hot Seat. Mime Ninja Mime. Master Uguay. Barry. Dillius Dallying. Podcast junkie. Futile screaming at the ocean. Fox Hatlin, Dylan Caroni, Pedro Vibresto. Slider, Malachi, Julian Rhodes. Maple Emily, the gayest library janitor in Indiana. Learn how to be calm in heart, Stumbly. I'll be waiting. Physic the good bush, definitely not one of the bad bushes, funding Rebel Bethany's to overthrow the Julie-elected Bethany's. Haxidicimal Bethany is non-binary.

Vapis 10's Big Black Gaping Hole. The planet Gubrius is celebrating the upcoming birthday of former Big Lister and Canon Space Fungy, Abubleuith. Happy birthday, Zach. Bruce. Jessica Gagoma. Toracle. Jenny the bear.

Agar. Bell ringer. Sir Dean Thorne. Treach. Josie Jones. Mr. Fibble is very cross. Hote potato. Dr. Mojo postulates the end list endlessly splintering off as Bethany and Bertbert's caboose until its end lists

all the way down. Dave and Buster's server manager, ready to serve all the Bethany's of Monte Cristo. Blind Time Traveler Convention Date. L.A. Woman, the Phoenix Rising. New name? God. No, not him. Jeff Andrew? Sure. Jeff Andrew. Miss Luan, a British woman with cute dogs. Cup of noodles. Shmizzy Two Shoes. Luna Nova. Nicholas Griffith. Matt Grigsby. Justin Smolin. Riku 231. Craig Dundee. New type without a Gundam. Astral C. Ickle me, pickle me, tickle me too. Which Loud the cartoonist. Guy with the chops, Sam, Mitchell Yee, Bagelknife, Emelda and Scott, Courtney Cochran, Lily Starling, Ryan Kay. Devin 7777-7 has been my favorite verbal stem for months. Nate, Forklift Lifts Forks for Cliff, Chip, Radio Free Realia, Violin Loves Middy, Brian Passley. You only had it right the first

time, Joe, it's Suwabasa, not Subboasa. Grenna, Pistonwhip, Captain Ducky, Blitz Bell, shiny, let's be bad guys. Our overhead is way too high with all of these names. Please make sure to turn in all receipts. Love Josh from accounting. Satuma, Silius Goose, Dr. Jones, icy axe, coach Shane of Toad Sucx Central, Go Cranes. Sky, Cole Arthur, Lego Cuisant, Cassaud, Norwin Mergler. You have all been assigned to write a four-page essay on your favorite arthropod, it will be 50% of your grade. Joe Kappa, Dogma Mom, Webe Chopin' Broccoli, Icey Fish, the hacker known as Ivy DeBurb, Blue Tune, a feisty-ass-chikid, Poultry Landmine, The Scrappy Poet, Jenny the Crypted Paladin, Maverick Artists, Shit, It Was a Mimic,

Basil in their Tea, Waiting to Gossip with David, Ainslie, Ye, Yay, Ye, Ye, Ye, Ye, Angnor, A-T-B, Kiwi-Lovelybead, Zoe, Professor Freda. Dr. Professor, Reverend Bethany Withany Lethany, Woffie McFluvenberger, MD, Ph.D. Squire, and that's not pretentious at all. Aham, is looking for a cure to the Bethany mutation that the Society of Bethany's began the war with so many years ago. Michelle Spurgeon, Jack the Sleepy, Garrett Henderson, quote, still trapped, but I've stopped asking why. The freezer is. I am. We chill. Son of Defarge, Wisco Teach, Scott A. Snellgrove. Give Peas a chance. Samma Dingdong. Behold Lady Sarah Per, Whiskervail. Countess of Woodhallow.

mistress of the whispering pines, and beloved by all creatures small and opinionated. Ricardo Galamba, Cari's crafty cloaking devices, LLC, hashtag we weave em of Gossamer. Penny the Wonder Dog and Bucky Von Buckbuck, Cherry Appleby, medium rare extra toasted bun, saucy Caesar, belt, Aspen is a verge fanboy, Mick J. 67, Ava's favorite My Little Pony Pencil wants Joe to slap into a snim gym. Mr. and Mrs. Drifter, representative of the Alaska Midnight Burger tummy time. chapter. Nathaniel Lee Industries, Lord Entropy, Bac-Bock, motherfucker, motherfucker, motherfucker, The Faye Wanderer, Everybody's Favorite Clown, Splotchy, Pinstrike Algorithm, Psycho Queen, kosher steak, Gabriel Strife is brought to you by Charlotte Brown, Gary Gygax, and the number

42, Flo Rida, Alyssa's shiny pants, Gondor Coles for Aid, Muscles for Tits, Arnold Rumspringer, the Demise of the Temple of Bethany's, Alan Berglins says, Hi Mom, Rin the No, Kitty McSull. Ravenstromden's, hapless, novelist, passenger of the dimensionally impermanent and temporally incontinent bookshop cafe the wild-eyed prophet. Tessa Craig. Perfectly personalized disaster. Jim Turner. Lux Luminos. Havi Denaro, Big Chunk, Gedees. Boom's wooden leg. Will the real Maudib please stand up? Jilly Bean. Benjamin, not Franklin. Tracy Baby. Leia. Is that the Chris Hancock who traded weekly soup for the use of my kitchen table? A singular nightbird. Bethany in a green field. I am the lizard frantically

firing flachet guns. A. E. I.O. U. Y. and W. Bumblefay. Mr. Epsilon. The Mothman. Long-Haired. Matt. D.J. Lennie Harris. Robert W. Breesabrele. Gress. Gresh. Grew Rhyr. Mithin. Myth and Stitch Eruhers. Lose L. L. L. L. L.A., L. L. L. L. L.A., your most benevolent loweuses holds out their cat for you to pet. Grimelor. Genie Woboom. Errant Popsicle Stick. M. Horowitz. Ile of Refuge. Yel of Refuge. Bubblebutt Bethany has banana breath. Lama Fresh. Jair the Benevolent Destroyer. Valtiel Heller. Sad Little Earth Monkey. Revin the Red Beard Wizard. Bert Bert and the Funky Bunchy Bunch.

Corrara the 12th. Bethany 2. Electric Bugaloo. Welcome to the Kwan Pound. Pen, pen, pen, pen, pen. Mr. Mucacho Kaisers Schnitzel has successfully recruited Sarah Murphy's Cats for the Trouble Puff's Fight Club. The wolves in the deep freeze say, Awoo! Julie Hammond, Sanctuary Moons No. 2 fans. Simpson, Alice Lewis. Simply Amy Sue. I pushed her because Joe said so.

Even older Liz. McBearcat. Grak Pinfeather, Siddican druidicic scientist. Astro, your friendly neighborhood, Android. Moonlight Zombie Fox. Old Doc Racy, the Midnight Missionary,

out there somewhere looking for you. Rotten Ronnie sleeps in Grandma panties. Artist Dragonborn. Big Big Garage. Bill Zangana Lester. Joaquin Jimenez. Big MF. Juice, the SIP, Muffins, Spacewives are officially Verge and Deidre. Chad Hatter, Cosmic Tea Maker of the Triads. Captain Jack Harkness wants Peter the Robot. Tell your cat, I said. A psalpsps, psalp, psalm, banana manaz, a corgi cold kibble,

Sarge the Bard, Seminity, L.L. Cool Mint Jams, Travis Robertecus, the other original Caitlin, Ken Daddy. The jaded Umbra requested I do a recitation of Kubla Khan over the next 26 episodes. Instead of reading her name, Aheem. Leia Aizotti, Millie was taken, dead to me 86, B. Camp, Shanman, Man Man, Karma Camillion, Kinran says hello, Zoe and her army of mice, Breyer Long Lost, Daniel, Sammy the Baby Seal, Trixie Belle Dubois, Dr. Budiologist, the glutes doctor. The hood's pocket police are asking for public tips about their stolen station toilet. Currently they have nothing to go on. Thank you for pressing two. Your

Anglophone Emotional Support Canadian request will be processed in the order in which it was received. Queen Sirly Jess. R. IP Lance McLean, you would have loved Midnight Burger. Adam Toclove, Dr. Bichcraft, Sassy Cat the Space Vixen, Claire Rock, Jekka, Eros to God, the size two fish you've been looking for, E.okai, Borgia. Spiders are cuddly. The main immortal pinball sounds in the diner. Cheel.

Neal. Sin City, Scuba Steve. Polywag. Michaela White. Elena Pickle. Wilbur Winklewright, wristwatch wrangler of West Worcestershire, finally spots red now as the carnage clears. Professor Thaddeus Snookums the 8th. Mr. Grin, Glenn Petrovsky.

This moment of silence so Joe can catch his breath is brought to you by Rick Tyler. Elizabeth Hammond. Cheapcon, the real Cheap con, coming to you from the frozen Midwest wastelands, except no imitations. Steam Vision, conductor of the interdimensional time-spanning hype train, Dave Harold, Wisecube, Bromine, pronounced bro, mine. Main Hamdinga. Mother of Pearl, Fiona now owns Laif's 18-inch Peter. Sealface, Rigormortus, Megan's Things Megan Makes. Coilane. Trebex Reject. Prophet of the God of the Mucklewains. Darth Ox. Michelle Kay. Aaron Arnold. Boyo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-o-o-y. As in Boingy. Mama Mandar, B. Ross and Slunkmaster J. Alpacalypts. I'll take one butter and brie on rye, please. Elliot paints. Undead Akira. The Lord Reverend. Ryan. Thomas' 10, Tenebrous Tant-Taphyl tappers treading treacherously tantamount to telling totalitarian trope

Termination Tales. The lovely Laura Lovely. Kith Gamge, Sam Wise's Flamen Cousin' Cousin. Dariol. Jeremy the ruler. Gochi. Charles Robert Darwin III. Esquire, Ph.D.

Jacob Mitchell, swooning for Verge. Zeke in the Box. Stevie Crow Hill. Ola Milikhan of the Welcome Wagon says, A Cabo. The Adventures of Magpie and Brown Bear. Scrubs. Becky.

Just some guy from Adelaide named Ryan. Remy, the Panda Crew, Melody Prime, Beardow the Wizard, Captain Benjamin Hawkeye Pierce, the German short hair pointer from Nashville, wants to tell his mom Maddie that he says, woof. Whiskered, any two hands for the double high-five, Marissa the Ghost, local snowplows in your area are dying to meet you. Rutherford B. Chesterfield and his dapper companion Winchester, Cheshire Corgi, Stray Cat, old Kelsey no-shoes, Zoldia, Dizzy Flame, We Serve Everyone eventually, Sasha, Beth and Alan Van Gillis, Langston North, Sly Fox, aka Braer Rabbit, Necro Pants Darts, Champion Theos.

The Constantly Lost Geographer, Timothy Aiotis, Chance wants you to know, he cares. Wolfstark, Elliot, Hobbs de Co., Natalie Bartlett, Rory of Yin, Mooby the Golden Calf, Suda Satoshi, Giovanni Salinas, Rocky G, Perry the Pirate, Aaron Elizabeth, K. Narcotics, Solomon Price, A Daydream You Won't Escape. Bubba 485, aka Shemelbach the Christmas Whale. Kaiju Somelier, Stella Corvus, Jesus Garcia, J.P. The IT guy. Candyman Fight. John Peters, you know, the farmer?

Markley on the Holladeck, Dapper Dad, S.C. 049. O. Magis. Raven the Dreamer. T.K. Turtle King. Mike M. Space-based lasers. Captain B. and Lady G. with their swabs. Marla, Madame Lotus, still especially loves Finley. Mr. Steamwave. My friend the Rhino says, Be nice.

HUP challenge. I've temporarily run out of cat sounds in my library, so I'm just going to do my impression of Theo. Prop. Dream Founder. I'm your Huckleberry. Elizabeth T. Tai Tie the Wonder Hamster and her dear darling Duke. Grandpa Gus, boombastical Kim Licker. Coco Yumi took her painted ponies to a show and won three awards.

Hug a muffin, Bigfoot of Doom, D.L. Annie Atkins. A bounty hunter called The Crandy Man. Garot. My cats say to tell you. Meow. Think fast, chuckle nuts, flashbanged. Benjamin Ortiz, Mr. Frog President, Pop Rock Quicksand, the Benyapper. Mr. Squizzle, Whizzle, The Horrendous Apologizes for conspiring in the Bethany War.

Invites for tea are being sent now. Abanaso, Mr. Rage, Adelor, Trans Space Dinosaur, Spooky Spader's Storytime, William Kent, Andy, the McJimys from your local dimension, Ryan Abbey, Thomas Adams, Drink Spiller, Stephanie Buk, Entropy Eigenbases, Andrea Crowther, Martin Dears, Kevin Daughtry, Deflower, Two Daddy Jazz Hands from Mouse Toots, Dan Gentry, I hope something good happens to you today. Yes, you. V. Greenly, Ron Hayden, Michelle Hopper, Jake the Cook, Josie Jones, Bootskooten Dave, Anthony Lakey, Britt Littlefair, T.U. Luther. Some days you're the beetle, some days you're the dung.

Lauren Mayer, Glenn Morris, Richard Ryan Moschell, Michelle Myers. Ali Upsi, Upsi, Not to be confused with Upsi, Fridge Pickle, Rosemary Prem, Robert Savat, Lizard Lee, Eliza Sharp, Donald Schingler, Daniel Stavvy, Fall of the Berlin Wallaby, Kelatia Arena, Rachel Vasquez, Luke of Achito, Nia Venturi, the beloved yet borderline inappropriate empire of Dr. Thunderbutt and Lady Cristobel, Justin Wiley, Brett Zimmerman, Arrow Jones, Jubal, Xavier Killingsworth, Lane Kiffin is a ho, Mimetic Hygienist, Rogue Art, Aaron Star Joshua Damien, and Sentinel of the Star System, Claude de Clause, Spunky Dan, Rachel Seymour, Chis Alphridge, the Bullheaded Ed Boy, Ryan Finnelli, Jonathan K, Pearl Null, Another Monster, Petabyte Avatar, Tugwin the Mighty, Project Octopus, Ken, Chibs 1012, Scotty Oats, Byrotron 95,

Happy 13th Birthday Danny. Dance Break! Spikou, the Bracken System and its homeworld Wren, Simply Tony. It will always be Finley's workhole to me if you know, you know. Gabrielle Castion. Whom, what, when, where, and why is what all the growth. say while listening to Midnight Burger. Nico de Gaio goes great on Midnight Burgers. A drum major and a trapeze artist

walk into Connie's bar. Retorted. Sir party animal. Byro the motherfucking dragon of the Shreveport the motherfucking dragons. Uloy Jackal. Ari sure you Mike Rob the Nancy Sinatra? Court need to leave it alone if you want to live.

Must be a witch. Cat with a K. Miss Shan Frizzle. My Thigroney has a first name. Stompensstein L. Mustachio. Lucifer has a Kyle. La Chihuahua Brava. Adeline Peets, C.C. Carousel. Courth, The Destroyer.

Honest Puck, Casper's Mom's Mimilf. Scout and Foxglove says the floor is lava. Red Nell hiding in a crowd of Bethany's to avoid capture by Wiley Wilbur Winklewright, wristwatch wrangler of West Worcestershire. Kerdomsky! Craig Armstrong, Plastic Fork, Dulce Studios Presents Under the Truskin Sun. Get out of my booth.

Bug. Propagator, I hardly know her. Sad Angry Crabman. Chuck McFinley. Effie and Zebulon's trans great-granddaughter Hazel Hayes, Velocity Girl 42, Little Dragon and a cauldron of bats, Ben Carlisle, Flat Steve's Love for Grand Theft, Anna Keirty, Tater Tadat assassin, four schnauzers of the Apocalypse, Starbla Burnbright, Imzukioki, Spotted Rhino and Her Hand Me Down Frogs, Red Mafia Panda, Lonely Isle, Kai Dallow headphones, Hinkle, Pikeman Stover, over's wife. Alexander the boss.

Scrizzles. Flap. Kitty, kitty, kitty. The firekeeper. The end is nigh. Jeremiah the canceled. Librarian Alex, Spike and Faye. Johnny Ellen West and the boys from the dwarf. Speedy McSpeedy. Eli. Wolf. Brandy Gunter. Auntie Becky is owned by five rescue cats. Speckled unicorn. Jedi rides again with Nova the space pirate. Tevin Longblade short sword. Forget normal.

Oh, damn! C.J. Johnson. A dragon sitting on its hoard of dice. Wendell Whitaker, Chumbo Wombo, Ficich, Fischoole, Spieffin'i, Globetwebett, Rewett, Andrew Fuller, Ban Mehung, The Soup Witch, Fettysini Alfredo, Cowboy and Sasquatch, Hunts Bethany's, Pebbles, V-V, Eiffy Rawlings,

Megan Hazen, Philip, Your Dad is Not Your Dad, Nick Beaure, Midnight Plummer. His Royal Highness, Mr. Hamilton, Underfoot Kitty the First, and accomplice, Princess Penelope, the Marchioness of Mischief and Maven of Mystery. Megan Gentry, Mr. Cherry,

Our ass is in the jackpot. Tubby Teddy. Wayne Heiser. India Inkblot. Sleve of Bahamut. Omi Gracie. Dalton Jenkins. Kat Holtz. Calart in the Tired Night.

The True Mega Mike. Fred and George. Lavinia. Avimatics Jr. Lysa Werth. Cass Williams. Christie. Yeat my boy.

46 Tool Shed 2 and El Marie catastrophe. The image collector. Blended music. Definitely not Kevin. Sitting squirrel. Patricia E. Melt says in a world of slug bots, Be a hugbot. Red the Grey.

The Silver Crow, Couch Potato Alex, Neverchild, Dr. Nassos, Interdimensional Biologist, Kiboko Dunord, Cozamine, Theodrax, Joey B, Lucas Barding got his barber to listen to Midnight Burger, Little Debbie Cupcake. Terran says, hey, Oreos are Rabbit. Sandlewood Mountain offers peace for your soul, whimsical fuckery, Megan with an H, hey, it's warranty lady, look, I've been thinking, maybe it'd be best if we, you know, saw other people for a bit, I need more. Patricia the Time Lord, Cachach the Lizard Wizard, castes jellybones, mango connoisseur, Bridie Bug the quirky jester, the big moose and his wife, the little moose, that old glory coal, G.L. Miao-Nay's Cat Butler, Oshin Lou, Alex Berry, Andrew Oakden, Asymmetrical Exile,

Magpie Cat says everything's a bag of holding if you know how to pack. Chiro the Space God, Eliza Travels the Universe, Lindsay Bowen, the Goddamn podcast lawyer, Alex Spruce, Dr. D. Birdcloth, Sweather, and Mrs. Dubbobtoway Birdclothweather, want to say hello to the whole Spweather family. I lost my galaxy britches in a game of pants darts. Angry Ron, Dominus Caesar, Durkidub, Gloria's ex-girlfriend, Kelly Clickspring, the wild thistle, most likely Cass. James Harlow humbly requests a custom sound effect. Okay, James, here's an elephant. Jasmine James. Dr. Cabarant, also known as Omni. Thanks, Waffle Chateau. Colorado beekeeper, fruitcake.

Zephyr's wife has the hots for Zebulon. Zendria! Jennifer Culkins, Midday Burger, Don Parks, throat goat 666, oh my god my dad found out about my Patreon name. Princess Leia, fish in a bag. September, previously observed in the pattern. Prime Freak, Protector of the Scottish Realm, Little Lord Stevie Pie.

Droid Pirate Finley and his Rubin-esque parrot. Droid Pirate Finley and his Rubin-esque parrot. Stuck in a pit of a pit of. Skittles, Sea Squatch, Deflater Mouse, Tony Piacarski, Adrian R, The Devil from Table 12, Javier, Crazy Thadley, Cremulus is just happy to be here, The Twisted Twigster, Real Housewives of Seagius, Thay Queen, Upschnart, the Probability Demolition Expert, Showtime, For My Mother, CCTX Girl 6823 Waiting on the Diner, Nicole Studioso. Attention, sign my shovel is loose in hood's pocket. Lock your door.

K, the Flying Penguin, honks at the horde of Bethany's encroaching on their nest. Honestly, this is getting absurd. Truck Stop Sandwich, Indigo Escargo, Love My Captain, Joe Malma, Wandering B-B-M-Cuit, Ames Affection for Internet Protection, Retro-M-G, NightScript, Widget the World Watcher, wearing a waistcoat and wig. This Lana is Bananas, B-A-N-N-A-S. Utrud-Rose Viking Void Vitals, fueling the intergalactic fight against fascism. I'm not sure what I'm doing. River Brown, Senior Deuce, Warped Ryder, Tim Nacey, Ruben Clamzo, Turwin, scrambled eggs, Morgan Brockman, Sylvie, Friendly Neighborhood Fire Protection Engineer, skull bulb, Dustin Watson, Betty White 813, Randy Supreme and Queen Lancaster, Bolivar Shagnasty,

The One True Cheap con, Starscribe, Lucy and Thundersruck. Ho-ho-Bamma! Glorbnar 7, now granting refugee status to victims fleeing the Bethany Wars. Dooser now identifies as Roman Durge, The Other Adele, Chef Galval, Leah Hall, Sarah May. Minsky Enterprises is excited to announce that Cone of Silence Consultants, LLC, has been named its exclusive provider of logistics services. Silly Willie Bubblebutt, Sierra not from Arkansas, Ebenezer Boob, Caleb Tumiala, Jason Woods, Arnie Arbuckle Esquire, Digital Flu Flost in Time, Potion Maestro, Nebulae, Regulators, Mound Up, Wanderingle over Coffee,

Mad Yogi Eileen, a cat named M, Petito Pato, Palace, Big Mo, Dominic Narwall, 8. I am Annie, I live forever in every moment I've existed. I swear to every star in the cosmos, I never forgot it was a gift. The Stone Fox, Sylvia, Jusiton, Papitos, Slapower. Henry the Goose, Jennifer Baumer, Ninja Grim Reaper, Miles Nelson, I am a bomb till I think of something else to do. Buritwards. Hot Shot Huntley, Momo's Mama, Space Mormon says what?

Ivy Paisley. Toast, Sue Watts, Myrtle, Caitlin, leader of the Unicorn Revolution, Transdimensional Delivery Man delivering pipe across the multiverse, apparently. Matlock, Lord of the 13th Sea, Mr. Trigvy, the fourth era, printing with cats, Calisi Del Mar, Von Vega, Dixie Dina, 7,000 Possums, KBS 1017, Silas Vex, Sarah Jack Sparrow Space Pony, Revibe, Debbie E, Emma, Mr. and Mrs. Owo, Dusty Ventures, and his pilot Uzi drift in the, through space. Ronnie Porter, Gloria's line cook, Eagle Rock Lobster, The Gabbiest Painter, and Herbbedo, Fyrell, Emily with two E's, Spaceman Nathan, Ramsey's Niblick the Third,

kerplunk, kerplunk, who's my thribble, Jackie Wavlet, Ye'oy Gagarin, Dee Grytsler, A Gritzler, A Grimlin with the Munchies, Michelle Scoraccio, Genuine Jacob, Space Rooster Randy, Leopard Donut, Poofie Thang, Mellow Nuggets, Keychain Crap, Mat, Mat, Stilo, Bumling, Buffy's daughter. A quick pause so Joe can sip from his tiny teacup. I don't know, I mean, forcing someone to drink something twice a month. You know, it's, I mean, it's like, it's probably a violation of, uh, some sort of right that I have, right? Panda, Curtis Lillig, Kennedy, Allison Farner, the perpetually tired transgender time traveler. Tristan Stolls, Dalyan Y, Shadow Rapture, yet another Nicole, Hank the Wonder Lama, Arcraft, Russell, Zephyrus Wind, the Ornamental Hermit, Jay to the Lin,

Jeremy Imson. What the hell? Sineplex. And all the black people in North Carolina. Just Rachel. Waffles, Waffles, Waffles. Danger Girl. Atlas Bear. Patty the Ginger. Ava cigarette ash. Hugh Biftit. Azeus. Anaphylaxis. Scav with Cappell. The Chalphylacchus. Skaevichael. Scare. Sourceding in the Pippiepon. Sarah Nicole. The Kells fights with the Bethany's. Angry Leafs Lasersaw. Magnus Aerochill. Amy Perry. Christoffer Kai. Kyi. Source decay. Descend. of the Sweather Catfish Whisperer. Vagabond Mary, Randy's Amigo, Bold Mouse, Katie Mermaid and the Delinquent Duo,

Nauman, Nicole. Victor Schauberger reincarnated as White Mountain Hillbilly Glitter Cupcake, Max Danger's, Security Chief Shatsy, The Anx Peach, Team Michelle and Billy, Nea Nix Reno, Frankenator, Nordlbash, Jordan, R1X Belasco, Ryan Rosinski, average height,

medium rage, Audio Monkey, Joe, Team Hafe of Eisen, K. In The Mysterious, A ZHQ, I'll grant you that we have a multiplicity of mics, a jumble of James's, a trifecta of Tonys, one of whom still wants to be Laif, but sadly, no Bethany's. Rowan, Thady of the Black and Herald of the Stars. Ariane Can't Manage Normal.

Ryan Burnett, The Joyful Nylist, Dr. Dr. B., Zopres and the Bumble Army, growing into my farm boots. Superbeth becomes an RN alongside my bootstup farm friend. Geneva Boss, Arkansasin, Not Arkansawyer, Brothers of the Cosine, Uncivil Nomes, The Rat Queen Evelyn. Great Lunch Conversation. Captain Scott, Letty Lou. He was a shifty one that Nick Howard. Kinger was here. Bobby Ray Winland Jr. B-Bobabuduwap. Warped Echoes. Slabs McTurps. Big Brother House. This is Lord Robert O Tartis. You are live on Channel 4. Please do not swear.

Jeremiah Franco. Justin, the Nick of Time. Gothic Rainbow. So he made it. Cody McClure. McCadley. Eternal Companion. Maxine Lazont. Jingolos. Eris, goddess of nobody. Has Matilda, Ditsy Bay. Just Your Average Rees. Kyle Church. I am a Laef on the Wind. Static Ego. Lolly, Evan M. Dobson, Dave B. Nabi, your friendly neighborhood pathologist, going to be lit, Captain Emerald L, Wayne Hall, Danny Mars, externally screaming, but Bethany, I-made Biscuits, Skibo and Fuzzle MacBumpurnitz, Neelix Tiny Wolf, Asher the Raven, Christina Senate is teleporting, VRB. The Shains are not organized enough for a war, but there is a growing number of us, and it is concerning. Definitely not an android, seriously, I'm not. The Wandering Welshman,

whatever Tabby, Carolyn Harper, Nicolize. Tolkachev, Capo the Sartorius Z3DT, Shy Sparrows, BLTN, The Kiwi-Duckling, Dana-Dena, Fee-Fina, Fifei Fofana, Queen Aubrey and Drake, Drake, Drake May, May lover, Tequila Mockingbird, Spweather Goose, Damar and the Space Goblin, I so pale, exquisite whimsy, I am Lord Zoltan, hear me roar, Pocket Ghost Max, Mags, the Conqueror imposes economic sanctions on the N-B Bethany's for the whole Lasersaw car incident. Wes and Heather wonder if Derek Adair will join. My cat's name is beef. Katie Kate, get your colonoscopy, Victor Casados, Emily Schmemle, work from Elvis. Bo-ho, go bye-bye for Jojo Pogo. That's a no-go, Cody Monster, Collided Mind, Miss Nixie, Baby Baton Lee, Charlie Roodle, Kyle Perino, A.K., Sid

the Sloth on a bike, Priya Gandhi. The Wandering Mermaid would like you to know that the Little Mermaid and the creature from the Black Lagoon are the same exact story. Little Stevie Pie, Green Mountain Hermit Bethany. This is two Polar Cat, broadcasting on the under signal. Carl, the teller of dad jokes, Skylab's multi-dimensional, multifasic intergalactic quantum cyberverse, Verde Sol, Galen Miller,

Tess, Geriatric Youngen, mystic hippie, unforcable, local marsh hag, Daniel Nitz, Mavis Bacon's, Pyrows calling, Joe Swasian, the Wizard's Supercalifragilistic expialadocious, and introducing Risi Pontiff as the 38th Doctor. Too many Jans, says.

Things are bad, we're going to win. Pamela Roselle Tierra. Then Stina says, thud tweed, enigmatic catbird, Countess of Carbon. Slappy the Squirrel, Luminous Elk, Rodeon caution, love is for the Nierds. Taz Hernandez, Captain Crash and the surviving crew. It's just Tyson now. Casper needs all the hugs, but Joe needs an O2 tank. Quote says, Joe is the writer's room. Nasty Dog 74 needs crew for ship. Brown Coats OK. Awkward Heretic. Devin 7777. Troy Aker. Mandy Kane. Northernly Kay, Lost Basin, you know, the moon prison outside the triad. Kim Sel, silly goose, honk, hongk, Ad Matha, Astro Unit, Ghost Saber Wolf, the Sleepy Mystic,

Sarah Joy, Taters, Precious, It's Just Steve, Rupal Atrades, Mere Tender Creatures, Amanda Short, Chut, Brimble, Dydra, Mike Whiskey and Your Friend Frosty, No Saguaro, Benbar, stand clear of the closing doors, please, beastly death, Sven the unlikely, Cognito Hazard Expunged, Ted Wasannasin, Vyrestria, Theosis the Theologianish, Why is my daughter so feral? Send help. Fernwood gal. Nellie G., Twinkle Tots.

Gemini Sky, Phantoms' moms, Callison, Hornswagland Daniel Arthur. It's a fucking dog rapture. King Humble. We'd better ask Dave. Windchimes for safety. Cameron Winterborn Welsh. Fireball XL5. McKenzie Duna.

Alexica Habaniara. Code Stranger. One, bet, de bet. Ha, ha. Matt N. Alfie Rivenurum. Momona Kiki, Forelp, M. Lin, Feed Me Fish, J-R-R-on-S-F-P, LaHari, Jay Spark, Lucid Harbor, Little Mirror Leopard Paws, Diet Night, Mars Royalty, Take 20 Damage, Macy's Bandstand, Kim Bob, Battle Pope and Bugaboo, Snorts, McGuarts, Fresh Squeez, Patrick Holt, Atlas B, Hold it now. Hit it, Hold it, Hold it, Hid it. Bradley Ashby, Peter, William Dyer, Vicki Abert, Brad Maneer, Jane, Han.

Hannah Dale, Phantom Zone, Crystal Delightful, Gruntled, Killshot Betty and her steel-eyed bow, Jackie Lowie, The Little Pigeon, Quentin Elizabeth Jones, Lily the Planetary Brain, Crayed Bear. Dr. Ladis Trash Angel is living in the walls, because they bought a house and have walls now. Which craft is crafty lizard doing today? Noble Barrel. Yes, my brain is weird, thank you. Bibbidi-Bobbity Boom. Megan the Meg Young, Corey Morose, Russell Bunny, Max Savage, Jenny Wren, Apprehensive Craig. Tim Aranetta. Bacon. Nicole Studioso. Rambo. Chaos Squatcher. Jeremy. Jeremy. Stephanie Sturgis. Curston. Hurry up and wait. Sarah Farmer and Bella Donna, first of her name. Criddle. Twilio. Heidelbertie. Tom Webster. Rashme Vincatech. McClump.

Azana the Leathersmith. Salazar the Domeg. Hayward's finest Garin Elizondo. To my little. You'll always be my good girl. You took a piece of my heart and left a pawprint on my soul. Till we meet again. Sir Schitzelot strikes again. Damn animal. Ashton James, Elspeth, Skyland, ALR, Sidewalk Jam, Tonka 2005, Cruzen B Anthony. Tricks says Whirmp! Tibbled the First, Alley Frog, Tray the Turquoise Tortus, Freya Titmittance, Courtney the Frogologist, Corey and Stephanie say hello. The Fon Tucky Wrangler, Scrimbrillet. Yay, Aaron! The singing loon, Zuzana, Celeste Yose. I'm so Antigity Fun! I'm Ava's evil twin sister, Bethany, Katie and Noah, Hendrix the Stink, The Ambergler, Boodles, Osvaldo Simeone, Ashley Chapel Peoples, Ryan Ortega, Barbarian Bloodbath,

The Definestration of Ted's, Corrine Sabrantha, Shadowdady, Rubius Fuzzlebutt, Kay Mac, the something-something detective agency, Hyabuda, Eli the Electrician, Sunny Di Anomeli, Charmé, Kay on with Karma, The Wondrous Mathasiphon, Hashtagin'Anon, Fennigan Robert, Jesse Foster, Samira, Mother of Cats, Flat Doug, Deary Darling, Ambient Drifting Man 80, Chris Hancock, Nicole 23, gracefully impaired, tired pirate muffin, Steve King loves Kathy, Laura, Roman Ronan, John Pruitt, Camel Pope, Philemena, Rebecca Trossel, So Good, many names, God there are. Chris from Tacoma, the real fairy godmother, Sir Alphonse suitperson, Knight of Hood's Pocket, polished pardrons pacing pine paths, protecting pocket from sneaky skullduggery, Mitzie Lou, Kelsey

Home. Still Casper's number one fan, but now armed with a quantum spatula and ready to duel every Bethany in the Multiverse with Breakfast Wisdom. Damien the goddamn time lawyer. Matt Mosby, St. Fu, Harry Fishnuts, Astronaweeb, Magnos the Civil Gnome. Welcome, everybody. I'm Hidalon, and I'll be leading our Midnight Burger emotional support group. Starlight. David Peerini, Technoranger Rick,

Joe's Weaslaf, Virgo Ares Infinity, Best Budd's Danny and M, Charles Q. Choi, a bug named Nat, Cici writer, Hunter B, Rudra, Death the Kid, Big Whiskey, All Cockinator. Ron was here. Magic Pony, Robert Olivari, often wronged Dan, Jess Gioia, Killer Odd, Dr. Punt Gusha, Esquire of the Shreveport, Punt's Gushers, Esquire. Creator 67, Mervate of the Dark Seas, Cosmic Shrug, Incorrigible Ross, SCRB Mark 11, Eric A. Rayborn,

Maggie's Yarm, Stu, Enthonyly, Megan Mighty, Haunt, Purple Saline, Three Legs are Perfectly Good, Drew and L.A. Anomalous death to PSL Vandal. Fuck Ice. Captain BLEP. Ryan. Evey Power. Terry. PJ says what? Amelia Lucero at all. Fear now doesn't polish the shiny melon. Blargo, blargo, blargo, the jazz man. Tonight at 11. Larrack the Barbarianess. Hicks Bezzie Mates. Zellis Pragma. Tuba Rick. It's just a Blake.

Alice Malice reminds you to take your medication, please. Your health is important. Kelly Jane Danky, Aaron the Optimist, Thomas Stolen, aka Casper from another universe, Chadney Ashra, Lucretia, Thornus Animator, Tamara Oliver, The Real Dirt Fairy, Marissa, Ava, No, not that, Ava, the one within... Grimm, says, TransRights, Y'all. Zacky Nat, underwater Corvid, Spisorinkum, Snakes and Bakes, Michael Christian, Ransom, Maroon Mycelil, Grawlix and Tarobang, Late Indeed Again, Theron Pyrallus, Om Vega, Coming soon, dances with burritos, Gwokton,

loaded. Aaron Mitchell, Lady Kianu Meissen, Ony Rose, Jackie Wavelet, J.R. The Hiker Bear, Velocate, Al Cave, Krusty McBeardface, Malloran, Sweet Michelle, Kara, Call Mezzan, Mel Momburg, Rogue, Lisa Geisler. Uh, attention, Dread Pirate Fredberger, we have run out of languages. Please contact her office. What the Chuck, Sonor Nasuno, Ben and Jessica, Todd Van Vorriso, Peecey Satuichi, Inge the Grack, and Azula the Brave in their ever-faithful Squire Grabthar. Gen Extraneous, Dancing Dog Dreams, Trinket Coralie, and Existentially Exhausted Being.

The Fable and Falling Network, where fiction producers flourish. Welcome to Magenta Presents, a new horror anthology hosted by me, Madam Magenta. We begin with the five-part miniseries Ghosted, starring Beth Eyre and Lucy Roslyn. Perched on a rain-battered cliff edge,

is a former lighthouse. It's a charming, quirky boutique hotel. Owner and soul-occupant Beth has spent months renovating, absorbing its essence into her bones. It's an old building. You'll get used to it. But to Beth's horror,

her first guest is a figure from a past she has tried to forget. Kira? Beth? What the fuck? Face to face for the first time in years, the pair must reckon with old mistakes, old grievances.

Beth, speak to me. Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up! And something else. Oh, I can't bear it. What is that noise? Because the lighthouse has a past to... Beth. He's right there.

Why is there blood on your hands? We need to get out of here. Kira! Kira! I can still see him! Subscribe to Magenta Presents, wherever you listen to podcasts. See you soon, fans of the esoteric. Bye!

Magenta Presents.