Midnight Burger - Welcome to the Horizon 2.9: Sous les Pavés, la Plage!

Episode Date: June 30, 2026

"We'll finally be free..."Frank - Benjamin BurdickTrinkett - Camille SmickerEldin - Joe FisherDark Leif - Tom MoormanGort - Finlay StevensonGalz - Tom WebsterSteve - Jessica MuddDoug - Keith CableGeegaa - Randi SpearsLeif - Tom MoormanVerge - Cat BlackardDeidre - Tina CaseJune - Melody BridgesCeleste - Cooper ShawSlabz McTerpz - Joe FisherMr. Undersignal - Ian FergusonBolb - Joel GelmanWritten by Joe FisherDirected by Joe Fisher and Finlay StevensonEpisode art by Existentially Exhausted BeanTheme music by Ian FergusonMusic:First Wave - Sven LindvallRedemption (Instrumental Version) - Jevon IvesSearching for E.T.L. - Cherry The PenguinMoon Rain - ELFLHowl like a Wolf (dreem Remix) (Instrumental Version) - SquiidSubscribe for early access, ad free episodes, additional content and more!Subscribe on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/midnightburgerSubscribe on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midnight-burger/id1537653218How about some merch? https://www.midnightburgermerch.comRead and search Scripts with PodScripts: https://podscripts.app/Explore the Midnight Burger Wiki: https://wiki.weopenatsix.com/wiki/Main_PageFor more information on our show, visit our website: https://www.weopenatsix.comFind and support our sponsors at: fableandfolly.com/partnersSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Thanks for supporting the Fable and Folly Network. Here's another show we know you'll love. Every winter, in the nice little Canadian town of Beavermount, Ontario, an old scrap VW Beetle is towed out onto the frozen ice of Beavermount Lake. And every resident enters a sweepstakes to guess the exact date and time the bug will fall through the ice. Last night, a torrential rainstorm flooded. the ice and at 423 a.m. the VW fell through and sank to the bottom. But when Lorna Batson saw an adult-sized mitten floating on the surface, the car was winched out of the lake. To find Greg Sullivan,

fall out of the driver's seat, dead. Oh, well, Saint Moutarmes. Tattoo Productions Presents. Sorry about the murder. Season 3, Dead Ice. Will Frenchie solve the murder and clear his Quebecwa name? More importantly, what will he name his new pet house hippo? Coming this Canada Day, wherever you get your podcasts. In the meantime, binge seasons one and two to get good in prime. Midnight Burger will always be free to listen to, but it's not free to make, so please consider supporting us by subscribing on supporting cast, Patreon, or Apple Podcasts.

For early access, ad-free shows, exclusive. of content and our enduring gratitude. Just follow any of the links in the show notes for this episode. And the big rock candy mountain, you never clean your socks. Can the little streams of alky hall come trickling down the rocks? Hello, coffee? Oh, no, thank you. Oh, right.

Already started the day with Burdock root tea or something? I actually did. How did you know? Oh, I did. I didn't. I was joking. Well, it flushes out the toxins. Whatever. You're in a good mood.

I am. I have found the key to happiness. Oh, have you? Oh, please share. All week long, throughout the day, I have been doing this. Eldon? Hey, Eldon. Eldon.

And nothing. It's been amazing. Well, I can do that all the time. Is that why I'm so happy? Maybe. Do you want to borrow my rotary phone? No, I think I'll go one step further. I am going to get one of those hand-cranked ones.

I'll have to stand at the wall to use it. Oh, maybe just a telegraph. No, even further. A couple of tin cans. Some string? Yes. So, do you want to hear the new... from the town square or not?

Not. Two more minutes. Okay. How are you doing? I'm okay. The mountain is okay. Natural systems are always more resilient than we think they are. I was feeling pretty sick for a couple of days.

Well, luckily, you, had some burdock tea. Yes, Frank. Luckily. I was worried about you for a second. I know. I'll be okay. Hmm.

We need to watch the third movie. What's it called? Return of the Jedi. Right. But maybe not the most important thing right now. I don't know. That guy is frozen in that thing. And he's just going to stay frozen until I watch the next movie.

Mm. Good point. Spoiler alert. He'll be fine. Oh. Okay. But as soon as all this is over, we're getting back to it. Okay.

Speaking of which... Okay, fine. What's the news? Refugees. Refugees? Everyone in the big city is worried that something bad is coming. Well, that is almost certainly. true. And some of them think they might be safer here in town. And that is almost certainly not true.

Regardless, we've got a bunch of abandoned houses up here from when people initially fled town. And people are trying to move in. Really? Yes. How many people? I don't know. Okay. Well, I hope Steve has a plan. You hope Steve has a plan? I do. I do. He is the man with the plan. I'm sorry.

Do you hear the words that are coming out of your mouth? I'm serious. You can't be. Why? Hey, it was Steve's plan that got us this far. I'm sure he'll have another plan up his sleeve. Whoa, that is not the reaction. That is not the reaction I was expecting.

Well, I can be full of surprises, Trinket. Wait, why do I have to be the dependable one? Because it's freaking me out. Well, look, here's what's going to happen. Steve is going to walk around like he's the mayor, right? Or, sorry, deputy mayor. And he's going to start solving problems left and right. He is Mr. Solutions, that guy.

I think this is going to take a little more organization than Steve is capable of. I know, I know. But you know what's going to happen next? Huh. Doug is going to happen. Doug is going to get out his golden clipboard and start organizing things. He's going to have a list of all the vacant houses and who's moving into each one. He is going to check off boxes.

The man loves. I love checking off boxes. So you're fine with a bunch of strangers suddenly moving to town? What am I going to do about it? Do a tantrum like you usually do? I do object to the word tantrum, first of all. Don't get me wrong. I'm loving this attitude.

It is very strange coming from you. I worry about the sarcasm levels. Nope. No sarcasm. I'm serious. Steve's got this. Who are you? I am a guy who has just spent a week with no one bothering him,

and it has been fucking fantastic, Trinket. More of that, please. You're not just sitting there waiting for this to go horribly wrong, are you? No, Trinket. We used to be a town full of fucking morons. What are you talking about? Fucking morons, Trinket. But now?

Look at us. I mean, I do have to say I didn't see us as a group that was capable of freeing thousands of slaves and fighting off space pirates. Right? Remember Charlie Delambert? Kind of. She collected something, right? Obsessively. Watches.

Right. But she wasn't a collector. No, she was not. It was kind of pathological. But if it had an hour hand and a minute hand, she had to take it home and file it away. Oh, yeah. I heard she had a lot of them. She had some sort of problem with her septic tank. She wanted me to look at this one time.

So I'm walking through her house and it's just shoebox after shoebox of these watches. This was during the era where everyone was getting a digital watch. So nobody wanted an old school watch anymore. And I say to her, Charlie, what's with all the watches? And she couldn't really explain it. She just said, I don't know, Frank. Where are they all going to go? I love that.

But also, where are you taking me with this story? Stay with me. I go by her house one day. This was years ago. And she's packing up her stuff, moving away. I ask her what's going on, and she says that she bought a mango farm in Java. What? Yeah, because one of the watches she obsessively kept had a name engraved on the back,

Alexei Leonov. He was a cosmonaut in the 70s. That watch had been on board the friggin' Soyuz capsule. She sold it through a Russian auction house for an amount of money that I don't want to say out loud because it makes me angry. Holy shit! So the day before she sold that watch, she was a nutcase with a hoarding problem.

The day after? Uh-huh. A genius. So everybody made fun of Tavroch back on Earth. How many lives did he save the other night? None of us fit in back on Earth. Now, look at us. That's really beautiful, Frank.

Well, like I said, It has been a fantastic week. Frank, I don't think he's receiving me yet. We're here, Eldon. Trinket, where's Frank? No. Oh, he's here. Is he trapped under something?

Why isn't he speaking? Stop, no. Don't take this the wrong way, but I think Frank's been enjoying the week off. I see. Hope you're well-rested, Frank. All hell's about to break loose. Wake up. What's the traffic like on the other end of the warp gate?

Gate traffic monitors are unavailable. Why? Monitor is disabled. I see. They want me going in blind. Doesn't matter. Incoming communication from TED Command Station Delta. I was waiting for this.

Put it through. So, should I be worried that the most dangerous ship in the triad is suddenly on the move, or am I just being a worrywart? Hello, Gulls. I thought your raiding days were behind you, Leif. special situation. Yes, I've been hearing about your special situation. What the hell is going on in your world? Nothing to worry about. Nothing to worry about. Nothing I can't handle. So, you're telling me there wasn't a massive explosion emanating from

the galaxy brain a few days ago? You're not spying on me, are you gulls? Who, me? We have a wonderful working relationship, Leif. One built on mutual trust. I'm glad to hear that. If you're having problems in your backyard, I just thought I should remind you that we share the same backyard. I'm about to solve our mutual Raxias problem. Really? By the time I'm done, the iron quadrant will be ready for development. Plenty of resources, no organized societies. It'll be Christmas morning for the TED Empire by the time I'm done. That sounds enticing, Leif. But then again, do most fantastical things. It's not a fantasy.

I should have done this a long time ago. Should have done what a long time ago? We've been trying to take over the infrastructure of Raxius and make it our own. That was a mistake. The city's inherently out of control. And your solution? Destroy the city. Destroy it.

We're throwing good money after bad trying to control it. Well, I'm no expert on intergalactic. conquest. Oh, wait. Yes, I am. It's going to be fine. What's your plan for the refugees? Minsky can handle the refugees. The dead people won't be missed. This is not how the TED Empire

likes to do business, ladies. Which is why you work with me. I do the things you don't like to do. And if things just become more chaotic? That's enough performative hand-wringing, gals. I know you're already salivating over having a whole new

quadrant to plunder. I create the chaos and the Ted's get to swoop in as the benevolent saviors handing out blankets to the survivors. And that will be that. The last bit of the triad will be controlled by the both of us.

We'll finally be at the top of the shit pile. Very well. It's a risk, but the risk falls squarely on you, which is how we like it. There's something you can, do to speed this along, though. And what's that?

I just need to borrow a few things. The sooner this is over, the better. Well, what's mine is yours, of course. Have a Ted not meet us at the warp gate. Very well. I'm detecting a bit of a personal agenda on your part, Leif. What the fuck do you care? I don't.

Do you want to know why? Because it's never personal for the TED Empire. You let emotions get involved, and that's when empires come falling to the ground. Thanks for the advice. I'd have some ships waiting outside the gate to Raxias if I were you. The shit's going to get messy. Well, best of luck, Leif.

And if you don't make it out alive, it's been a pleasure working with you. Yeah. I hated every minute of it. Now, now, remember what I said. Don't make it personal. It's all I've got left. Oh, listen up. We need everybody to have a little pay.

We're trying to find a place for everybody, and there's a, well, there's a whole lot of you. I need the folks who have already signed up with Doug to go ahead and have a seat. And if you haven't checked him with Doug, please form a single line over here. Hello, hi, hi, everyone. I'm going to need a few things, your name and the number of people in your party, and any, oh, special considerations we need to take into account. So, like, I'm already hearing that people from KBS 1017 have to live in houses that face west. Huh, well, urban planning on your plan, it must be a nightmare, right?

Excuse me? So, so real quick, before we get started, Donnie Darko, aka... Darko the Destroyer, we do have a house available with a nice flower bed as you requested. So just sit tight and we'll get you some keys, okay? All right, everyone, um, one line, please. Excuse me, edgy Steve? Oh, hey, uh, hey, it's just Steve. Okay, Steve, I'm Giga.

Yeah, I've, uh, I've seen you around. Uh, you're from, uh, wait, don't tell me, Anderho. Oh, how did you know that? Hey, I'll pay attention, Giga. Hey, are you looking for a place? No, I'm not. I need to warn you guys about something. Warn us?

About what? You're in danger. The whole city is, too. It's really bad. Oh, I see. Let me guess. There's a great big ship coming, and it's going to kill us all. How did you know?

We're on it, Giga. Steve, are you there? Oh, hey, Eldon, what's up? Coming in for a landing now. Is everyone in the sheep's eye? Yeah, we're ready. I'm cheering. Because we're the good guy.

Hello, Hood's Pocket! Welcome back, y'all! I need to be greeted like this everywhere I go. It freaks me out a little bit. Hey, we're all ready to go inside, y'all. Hey, we'll be right behind you. Who's your friend? Oh, this is Giga.

Why is she staring at me? Giga? That's... Giga. Huh? Giga, it's me. Who? Oh shit! Pink Diedra!

Hey, Doug! Doug, check this out! What? Oh! It's me. Holy shit. Hi. Misty? Yeah. Um, I was in disguise.

Okay. That's... Deidra, that's my boss over there. Oh shit. Right. Um, you know how... Sometimes people have an evil twin? I guess?

Well, he's the opposite. Okay. Look, I don't have time to explain right now. I am so glad you got out of the galaxy brain. We've got to go in there and have a meeting. That's Birch? I'll explain that too. Um, I know.

It is really confusing. Wait here and I'll be right back. Sure. Hello and welcome. Space Adventurers. Burge, you look like shit. Well, I got shot a couple of times. Well, Jesus Christ, duck next time, dummy.

Oh, why didn't I think of that? How many dozens of drinks can I get you? Three dozen, please. And please tell me there are some cigarettes back there. Frank. Leif, we have some great news. What's that? We are making you

Hood's Pocket Employee of the month. I can die now. Yes. Deidre, sit down. Welcome back. Hey, what did I miss? Well, Frank's been in a good mood lately, and it's making all of us uncomfortable.

Hello, everyone. Sorry, I'm late, very unmilitary of me. Someone asked me for my autograph out there. We're so hot right now. I'm going to release a children's book and a cosmetics line. Has a meeting already started? What did I miss? The meeting hasn't started, but let's get to it.

Steve? Yeah, what? Start the meeting. Me? Yeah. My man, go for it. Uh, okay. Uh, yeah, sure.

Okay. Um, welcome back to the away team. Thank you. It's great to have you all back, but trouble is on the way, right, Eldon? The name of the ship is the Alex P. Keaton, don't ask. It's a massive starship that is armed to the teeth. Not the least of its armaments is an 80-ton rail gun, a Byzantine but effective weapon that launches an 80-ton projectile across very long distances. It's a city killer. Luckily for us, we had a head start, and this ship, is quite slow, but it will be crossing the warp gate into this quadrant any time now.

Is this like the Death Star? Who's been showing Trinket Star Wars? She insisted we watch it. I'm so proud of you, Trinket! It's not a bad equivalency, Trinket. So maybe it has a secret place where we can shoot something into it and the whole thing explodes. It doesn't. Really?

An insult to engineers everywhere that moment. So, guys, I am no expert, but last time I checked, 80 tons was heavy. It is, Frank. An army of psychotic zombies is one thing. How are we supposed to defend against an 80-ton bullet fired from space? We have a plan for that. It's unconventional. It's crazy.

Well, we've had some crazy plans in the past. Not this one. Chef's kiss life. Oh. I can't wait to hear this. What's the plan? Let's save that for the end. While in transit, I asked all of you to come up with options to defend the town.

What have you come up with? I mean, speaking of crazy plans, Celeste? Right. Well, we have some weapons at the base, sure. But since we were primarily a research station, we weren't armed to the teeth or anything. Yeah, Earth weapons aren't going to be much use in this case. but um well

I've been seeing someone and well it's very new but you know it's been very intense what are we talking about she's fucking slabs mcturps what oh you heard me

is that the spiky guy you're fucking slabs mcterps how carefully I would imagine I'd like to frame it in another way He's really quite charming. That's true, actually. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Spike's? Guys, this is great news, because I thought we were running out of things to make fun of Celeste for. But can someone read me in here? Slabs McTurps and his beautiful boys. There are a very effective army of mercenaries who are currently encamped outside of Raxias.

And Celeste is dating him? Thank you, Frank. Yes, we're dating. Shit, Celeste. I'm a little out of my comfort zone. Because of the poisonous spikes. But it's been good for me. No, no.

Wait, no, the spikes are poisonous? Easy there, Doug. You've got a lizard girlfriend. Oh, no. Please don't say that. Okay. Okay, so I'm at a loss for words. Long story short, he's offered to help. So we're hiring mercenaries?

He said he'd do it for free. He'll do it for free, but he's going to tax that Am I right, everybody? June. All right, everyone, let's focus. Obviously, we'll need to work out the specifics with Slabs McTurps. Let's keep moving. Steve, what else?

Okay, you all also said that Raxias needed to be a united front before all this shit goes down. We've got the city pretty much behind us, but, well, there is one holdout. The guy who controls the scrapyards and the chop shops on the north end of the city isn't playing ball. So we think he needs a bit of a personal touch. And that's where I come in. Oh, God. You're going to send June to talk to this guy? Hey. They call him, sir, party animal.

Oh, see? Finally, June, your time to shine. I'll head into town. I'll meet with this guy. He's going to love me. Well, it's sounding like some people might get hurt during all of this. So I'm going to head over to my place and make sure it's a huge. healing environment. And I will keep things organized out there and try to get, you know, as many

people indoors as I can. And I guess I'll open up the bar. Okay. Looks like everybody else has a job. What am I doing? Well, you're with me, Frank. What are we doing? Oh, buddy, it's going to be fun. That's everything on our end, Eldon. What's the rest of the plan? Life. Okay, okay. I'm sorry, everyone. Oh, guys what? What happened to our line? We had such a good line going. Come on, y'all. If you want a roof over your head, you gotta stand in line for it.

Where is she? Right over there. Okay. Um, anyone else surprised that Celeste's sexual prowess is what's keeping the town safe? June, for the last time, it's a deeply emotional relationship. I know, but that's not as funny. Um, hi. I'm sure this is disorienting. It really is.

I promise. I'm not him. Look. Look at my arm. Does he have an arm like this? No. No, I guess he doesn't. I appreciate you trying to warn the town about him. Well, it's just, it's a nice town. It is. It really is. Diedra was telling me you're a network specialist. Yeah.

Okay. I need your help with something. With what? Head over to the Horizon Motel. Talk to a Truskin named Bulb. He and his brothers are working on something in the parking lot. We need a full array package, but it needs to be about... Yay big.

We've only got so much room. Can you do that? Yeah, I think so. What's it for? Talking to people. Sure. But... But...

Bulb will explain everything. I don't think either of us wants a Truskin setting up an array package. No, that'd be bad. Everything will make sense soon. Okay. Um, I like this version of you better. Me too, Giga. Leif.

Yeah. Slabs McTurps and his beautiful boys are on the way. It might be a good idea to make yourself scarce. Everybody's seen my face. Dark Leif seems to have done a very good job at keeping his face out of the public eye, so it hasn't been an issue thus far. However, someone as high profile as slabs may know your face. I guess you're right.

Hey, Eldon? Yes. There are a bunch of people in my shop. Yes. Once again, Trinket, if you had a phone, I could tell you this. Well, we were just in the meeting. I wasn't running the meeting. Who are they?

That is Lady Lazarus and her assistance. She's a surgeon who has volunteered her services for whatever lies ahead today. I thought that was my job. Trinket, you're an essential part of the town. But that doesn't make you into a doctor. Let's let that be the purview of the professionals and reallocate your talents elsewhere. Just because I don't practice traditional medicine, doesn't... Trinit, you can't do a skin graft with a chamomile poultice.

You need an actual surgeon. Isn't Lady Lazarus a cosmetic surgeon? She's still a surgeon. Well, what am I supposed to do then? You should hang with us. I've got to stay out of the fray in case anyone recognizes me. Also, Trinket, you're a... Extracentric perception of the mountain could be very helpful from a tactical standpoint.

Unless you've learned some new spells, do you know magic missile? No, Leif. Look, I'd appreciate it if you stuck with us. It's going to be a weird day for me. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. I can see it on you.

Okay. What are we doing first? Shop and go? Okay. After that, let's head higher up the mountain. Get a bird's eye view. What's going on, Leif? You ever done the wrong thing to do the rome?

thing? Tell me more. I like the pink alien suit. I think we should keep it. I think we should. It's only fair if you get to be a human and an alien, I should get to as well. After all, I'm sure I'll have to save you from the evil clutches of a madman again someday. God, you are such a damsel in distress. I know. I'm swooning. I was tied to the railroad tracks, Dietra. Maybe we can trade off. I'll be the one who gets saved from the bad guy next time. Oh, that sounds fun. What are you going to wear? Whatever you want.

I love you so fucking much. I love you too. So, um, this plan sounds pretty extreme. Are we sure this is a good idea? I honestly don't know. I, I don't know how to feel about it. I mean, I know that we need to do something. And this is the only plan that might work.

Hey, Verge, your friend, the mercenary, is here. You want to come say hello? Shit. Come on, you have to meet this guy. Okay. My love. Hey, sweetie. As requested, I have arrived with my beautiful boys.

Thank you so much. Anything to gaze once again into your eyes, my dearest. Oh, stop it. must be the Frank. Nope, just Frank. I have heard tales of you, Frank. Is it true you cannot be broken? Oh, only my heart, Slabs.

Ah, I am the same. You wouldn't think it to look at me, but Slabs McTurps has a rich emotional life. Hmm, you don't say. We watched the fault in our stars together. I was ruined. Okay. I love Ansel Elgort.

Okay, yeah. That's great. So, Slabs, you're telling me you and your boys are going to patrol the streets for free? Because I'm told you're a mercenary. We are soldiers for hire, Frank, and we are the greatest in the realm. But we have one price that we hold sacred above all. We do this one for love, my beautiful boys. You see, we are nothing, if not romantic.

Okay. But in addition to being romantic, We are also terrifying murderers, so worry not. Holy shit, Celeste. I can't help it. He's boyfriend material. Burge, I see you have unveiled your paramour to me. Slabs, this is Deidra.

Hi. Deidra, you are a vision. Thanks. Celeste and I are very keen to have a double date with you. Oh, my God. Oh, I'd love to, Slabsie. But Frank and I have to go. Duty calls.

A shame. Let us go inside then. I shall tell you tales of Verge's heroism. Oh, that sounds great. We will drink. My dear, what is that thing I cannot have? Red wine. I cannot have red wine, Frank.

Okay. Because of the tannons. 100%. Yes. You want to stay away from those, Slabs. Let's go, Frank. Verge, before you depart. Geo!

I thought it was best I returned this to you. What is that? Verge gave it to me long ago and said to return it, should we see each other again? What is it? It's a lockbox. I trust you remember the passphrase. Uh, yeah. Yeah, I do.

Well, thanks, Slabsie. My dear, let us drink so that I may gaze into your eyes one last time before battle. Okay. Good luck, you guys. Thanks, Celeste. Verge, what is that? It's, uh... It's a lockbox.

It's just a lockbox with a passcode. So that belongs to the verge from this universe. Yeah, I guess so. What's in it? I don't know. Should you open it? Baby? Not yet.

Keep it behind the bar, okay. We'll open it together when I get back. Okay. Okay. Be careful. I will. Don't have too much fun without me, okay. Okay.

To Sir, party animal, please. Hey, Doug. Oh, hi, hi, hello. I don't even know if I should be, you know, in here right now, but I didn't know where else to go. Well, for whatever reason, I feel better with you here. Oh, okay. Doug, what are you listening to?

Oh, bird sounds. Uh-huh. Oh, I make recordings of them, and I've got a nice field recorder. So I go out and I make some recordings sometimes. It helps me relax to listen back to them. Are those the starlings? Yes. There's a bunch of starlings that hang out by Trailer Park Row.

They mimic sounds that they hear. So some of them still make the sound of a train. Used to go by the mountain, you know, back home. Oh, there it is. managed to get everyone a place to stay tonight? Oh, yeah, everyone's all put away. Um, what, what happens next? Now we wait.

So, do you think this plan of yours will work, life? I don't know, but I think it's the only thing that will. Well, I'm getting a Mars bar. What are you getting? I don't know. Those bird sounds are crazy. I mean, you know, it's an odd sound, but I like it. It's like a million sounds.

at once. Leif, we need to get you out of here. Yeah, right. I'm going to grab some beers. Doug, remember to start talking to people if you get weird, okay? I mean, I'll definitely get weird. And I will definitely start talking to people. Good.

Okay, let's go. Thanks, Doug. Oh, um, good luck. Play the Starlings again. Okay. Weird. Can I get a recording of that? Oh, uh, um,

Sure. I can, I can just... Just play it into your phone, Doug. I'll archive a copy. Yep, okay, okay. Leif, what's going on? Nothing. Good luck, Doug. Oh, here too. Here it is. What fuck is it?

I have no idea, but apparently it's pretty important. Is it a missile? Maybe. You're really asking the wrong guy. Aren't you the leader, though? Me? No. Technically, our leader's a dog. A what? Cuskins are on a break.

They take a lot of breaks. We've got someone going into town right now. They'll pick up all the things you're going to need. Okay. Steve, I don't understand what's going on. Right? Why doesn't Missal need a comms array? Again, I have no idea, Giga, but I know that it's important.

So I hope you know what you're doing. Me too. You guys don't even know me. You're just going to give me this important thing to do. Deidre says you're good people. That's all. it takes? Around here, that's all it takes. Steve, I'm just tech support for criminals. I don't know if you want me doing this.

Giga, I'm a drug dealer. What? Look, sometimes it's not about who you are. It's about what you do when shit hits the fan. Well, the shit's hitting the fan, Giga. What are you going to do? I like it out here. Yeah? Yeah. It's quiet. This used to be the only place I felt at home, in between destinations. Hmm.

What's it been like settling down? It's been so strange, Frank. I can tell. You can. Yeah. Yeah, I think we've all been watching it happen. I mean, remember when you first strolled into the horizon? Yeah.

It was like a Sergio Leone movie. You watched any of those yet? No. Oh, oh, Burge, we have got to watch some Sergio Leone movies. Bird, you'd love them. There's two kinds of people, my friend. Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.

Sounds great. I'll put it on the list. You and Trinket. have been watching movies lately. We have. Hmm. That's interesting. Oh, God.

Don't get any ideas. Virge, you forget. I'm no longer a man. Just a pile of mulch. Oh, yeah, you're a pile of mulch. She's a walking mushroom. It sounds like you're perfect for each other. Burge.

I know everybody treats me like I'm the same. Same old curmudgeonly Frank, but I look down at my hands and I don't know what they're made of. So, kind of hard to think about much else. There are all kinds of people out there who don't know what they're made of, Frank. I made sweet potatoes the other day. I didn't think I had it in me. So you made sweet potatoes, and now you can totally understand my situation? All I'm saying is sometimes we decide who we are, and sometimes we're wrong.

That's all. Copy that, noted. We're coming up on it now. Look out your window, Frank, port side. God damn, how far away are we? Thousands of kilometers. We are thousands of kilometers away, and it's already that big? As warp gates go, this is mid-sized at best.

You can see the ring there. That's where the ships pass through. Then that ring is attached to the Dyson sphere. What's a Dyson sphere? The massive sphere it's attached to. There's a star inside it. The sphere captures all of the star's energy and uses it to power the warp gate. Folding space, as it does, requires a star.

staggering amount of energy. They trapped an entire star? It's impressive technology at an impressive scale. It's what's allowed the TED Empire to dominate the triad. I don't know. Everything is too much, Eldon. Agreed. June is looking for you.

Oh, good. Okay. Frankie! Hello. What are you doing? Oh, you know, traveling through deep space. How? Not been able to go to space yet. How is that fair? Well, I guess when the day's issue involves someone named Sir Party Animal, your talents are demanded elsewhere.

I've made my bed. You have. You have. How's that going, by the way? Just fine. I have met with Sir Party Animal, and he's on board. I have unified the city, Frank. How'd you do it? I introduced myself as June. Pants Starts Champion. He didn't stand a chance. Always the life of the party, June.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess. I don't know. Frankie, is it weird that I'm in the middle of a massive party on an alien planet? All I want to do is go hang out at my boyfriend's cabin. Is it over? Am I washed up? June, all I want to do is go hang out at your boyfriend's cabin.

Am I old? June. Don't say it. June. We have been old for some time now. That's terrible. It is way back in the rearview mirror, June. That's so unfortunate.

On the bright side, it's only on the outside, though. Internally, you have been acting like a 17-year-old for a couple of decades now. Hey, June, compared to me, you're still technically a teenager. Ooh, I like that. Okay. I'm now exclusively hanging out with Verge. I'm done with you senior citizens. More quality time for me and Tarvalk, then.

Frankie. I love you. Stupid. Don't fuck it up out there. Hey, if I don't make it back, I leave the ownership of the horizon to you. You, bastard. Why did you do that to me?

Love you. Let's switch over to ghost power. Have you found the dead zone yet? I found it. Frank, we are going to power down almost everything and move into a dead zone. Every gate has an area where ships can't see you when they exit the gate, and it's where raiders and rim runners hang out. Okay.

What happens after that? We're waiting for the Alex P. Keaton to exit the warp gate. As soon as it does, we move in. Okay. So, at any point, are we going to talk about how the most... terrifying battleship in the galaxy is named after a character from an 80s sitcom? We can talk about it if you like. Would you like to hear the story? No, I think hearing that story will ruin the nice time I'm having.

Speaking of ruining your nice time, here it comes. We're in the dead zone. He shouldn't see us. Oh, Jesus Christ! We warned you, it was big. You guys, no, no, you did not. You guys, that is not a ship. That is the state of fucking New Hampshire. The original owner had a great admiration for an old warlord named Emperor Bug Buck who had a ship the size of a moon. The only reason this ship isn't that size is because it had to fit through a warp gate.

What's the huge thing on top of it? That's the rail gun. Raxius will be within range of it in approximately two hours. Life? Yeah. He's here. Okay. Wait until the coast is clear.

Then move in. Are you looking for your next favorite audio drama? Are you a fan of Percy Jen? Jackson or Ben 10, then you'll love the podcast six minutes. But don't take my word for it. The New York Times said, children and their adults who love the X-Men and other tales of youths with innate powers, will get lost in the six minutes fictional saga. And we're not just in the news.

We've got over 15,000 reviews on Apple Podcasts alone. Look for six minutes on Apple Podcasts and for more information on GZMshows.com. Listen to what everyone is talking about and enjoy the most downloaded family audio drama in history. Today, I met the love of my life. Her name is Juniper Sumo. She just, she seemed kind of off to me. Why would you think that?

Tell me. It's her eyes. They're just so dark. I feel like she's going to eat me or something. I get that a lot. Hell really broke the moment. They released her. And she is everything.

Something's amiss at Juniper's house. Available everywhere this Valentine's Day. How long until the rail gun is aligned? One hour, 43 minutes. Prepare the secondary payload for launch. While we wait for Raxias to get aligned, we're going to launch the secondary payload at a small town outside of Raxias. Apparently, it's called Hood's Pocket.

Location not available in database. What? Location Hood's Pocket is not registered. What the fuck? Bring up the live satellite feed. Live feed on screen. Okay. There.

Do you see it? Topographical map has changed. How can the mountain range have changed? Unknown. Fuck it. Whether you can see it or not, launch the payload at that general area. Launching secondary payload. Secondary payload is away.

Good. Hope they enjoy it. Incoming transmission from Toon Carry, New Mexico. What? Put it through. Greetings from the last. Land of Enchantment. Something tells me you're not calling me from New Mexico.

I'm going shopping. Do you want a turquoise bolo tie? Laugh it up. I'm about to make you regret the past few weeks of your life. I'm rubber and your glue. I hope all this was worth it, whoever you are. You ever think what mom would say to all this? I know I did.

Not dad. Dad always thought we were a piece of shit. I never hear his voice in my head. though I have to say the real tragedy of this world is I hate to say it Dad was right about you I really want to applaud you

for an impressive deep background deep fake deep bullshit project you really had me fucked up in the head for a minute but now I don't even care this is the end of the road for you You could have been so much better, Leif. I know. And transmission.

Uh, Leif? Yeah? Something's not right. Eldon? Multiple objectiles incoming. Okay. Use the deactivation protocols I gave you. They're not working.

Why? Because they're not his projectiles. What do you mean? Worn Slats. Slabs. We have multiple tech bot crashdowns in the area. I see them. Let them feel the wrath of the...

Disco Inferno Citizens of Wood's pocket There is live fire in the street Shelter in place until further notice Third, what's your status? Almost there I can't tell where these things are That doesn't surprise me

They're inorganic Where is everyone else? Deidre, Doug and Steve are in the sheep's eye Celeste's in the streets with slabs It's pretty chaotic down there Deidra, are you okay? Yeah, I'm okay Oh shit!

Didra? Dave? Yeah? Then I'm sorry? It works. Yeah, it does. So fucking hot. Phoenix is in position.

All right, guys, get to it. We're up to our asses and TEDBots. Five minutes. Wait. Where are Doug and Steve going? Steve, report him, please. Hang tight, you all. We're going to do something a little crazy.

Oh, God, oh God, oh God. Not the time, Steve. No, no, just wait, guys. It's going to be great. Steve. What the fuck is that? Holy shit. Steve, what are you doing?

Let's roll! Oh, God, oh God, oh God! What are they driving through town? It's the snowplow. Got about ten of them. Eleven. Well, how poetic? Leif, we're ready when you are.

Okay. Do it. We have a full magnetic lock on the surface of the warp gate. What have we been looking for? You can see it up ahead. Every warp gate has a series of ports you can jack into for maintenance. And that's where I'm headed? That's it.

But how do I keep from floating out into space? Warp gates have their own gravitational pull. It'll be like walking underwater. Oh, okay. Frank, re-changed at the seat. Okay. This is it? That's the box it's in.

How do I open it? In 1970, Doc Ellis pitched a no-hitter on LSD. Access granted. This is it? That's it. What is it? It's not on like a flash drive, Frank. Wait, what's the name of this thing again?

The Ted Slayer. Oh. Okay. Okay. Let's get this over with. Okay. I'm going to bifurcate the cabin, and then it'll just be you in the void, Frank. No.

You know, I take back everything I said about liking it out here. Too late. Ready? Sure. You won't be able to talk, but I can talk to you through. your comms device. Exit the cabin and make your way toward the data port 10 feet from the bow of the ship. And Frank, just in case you were wondering, yes, it does look very creepy to see you walking out there in space. This is like literally the most unnatural thing I've ever seen.

I'm going to assume you're flipping the bird at Eldon right now. and not me. Almost there, Frank. The device you're holding should fit perfectly into the data port. Good. On my mark,

turn it counter-clockwise. All right, Virch. Just the two of us. Any final words for the triad? Hmm. Good reddance. Very well. Frank,

counterclockwise, and head back to the ship. Slabs McTurps! Postal ID confirmed. Slabs McTurps and his beautiful voice. Who the fuck are these people? Incoming transmission from Bowling Green, Kentucky. Oh, for fuck's sake. Hey, Leif.

Slabs McTurps? How the hell do you get hooked up with him? Hey, let me talk to you for a second. What? It's over. Oh, it's over. Huh? Because you hired a few shitty mercenaries? In 45 minutes, I destroyed the whole city. I swung by Red's rectangle on the way home. Hard to believe you left it there after all this time.

But I guess that's what I did too, so who am I to judge? After I sprung Verge, I went and got it. I've got a team at the warp gate. They just inserted the cube into a data port and turned it counterclockwise. It's over. Bullshit. Check your gate status. Status check on the Rax Prime Gate. Rax Prime Gate offline.

Diagnostic. Cascading system failure. There's no way you actually did this. The gate's dead, Leif. And you know what happens when a gate stops being a gate. Without the Dyson sphere constantly siphoning energy away from the star, the energy inside the star compounds itself and burns brighter and brighter

until it eats the entire gate alive. In a few hours, the star will have sucked the entire gate into its core like it never existed. Finally, freeing itself from its prison. On screen. As you know, the virus will jump from gate to gate for the next 72 hours. All of the stars eating the gates alive.

In a week, it'll be like the TED Empire never existed. You're fucking insane. We're fucking insane, Leif. You didn't just do this to me. You did this to everyone. Do you have any idea What you've done to everyone? Yeah, I do.

That's on me. Millions of planets. All dependent on each other. I know. You did all this just to fuck me over? I did this for a lot of reasons, Leif. This doesn't stop. Stop me, you know.

I've still got this rail gun, and I still have your location. You're not going to do that, Leif. How do you know? Because you live here now, my friend. You are a citizen of the Iron Quadrant. You and I both know that Raxias is the only major city in the Iron Quadrant. Where are you going to refuel, Leif? Where are you going to resupply?

You're going to have to make friends with every single person in that city. But honestly, I'd give them some time. Because right now, every single one of them fucking hates you. My advice to you? Go find an unstable unicorn somewhere. Think for a while Try and come around to the idea

That I saved you You were lashed to the mast of it Just as much as everyone else was Even as a criminal You were part of the machine The machine's dying as we speak, Leif So who are you going to be? Who the fuck are you?

There's nobody else here, Leif. It's just you. Under signal, the voice of the voiceless. Panic in the triad. Citizens all over the system are in race against time as an unstoppable virus sweeps through the starways. From the far reaches of Triangulum to the heart of the TED Empire,

planet after planet disappears from the map. With no other way of traversing the millions of light years between them, With each gate gone, another system is lost in the darkness. Cut off forever. What will be the fate of the triad without this system that has connected us? Will we ever see each other again? If you're receiving this, I imagine this is the first time you've received a signal from outside your planet in a while.

I'm not going to tell you who I am because it doesn't really matter. I don't think any of us can imagine the amount of trauma that the triad just, went through and is still going through. It's something too big to fit in your head. Some of you have gone for a really long time without hearing the voices of your family or friends, but you are hearing my voice. And let me tell you why that is. Right now, something is speeding through the triad in a constant loop. It's going faster than anything ever has, and it's broadcasting this message to you right now. At first, this thing was a weapon. I called it a cowcatcher. But a change here and there,

and the addition of a comms array, and the triad now has its very first, faster-than-light comms relay. All the interface information is embedded in this message. You'll be able to send messages and data to anyone in the triad. You can't be together right now, but I can keep you talking. All that will be managed by one very dutiful Anderhovian. Giga?

Uh, hey there, entire triad. I'm Giga. Like you said, I'm from Anderho, but I spent most of my time on Raxias. But that's all of us, right? Who stays on the planet they were born on? So, this is going to work pretty simply. We're going to be using the same comms node you always use, but instead of the signals being sent through a gate, they'll be banked on the node until they're picked up by our probe and sent to the right person on the other side of the triad, or wherever they are. It'll take time at first, but it'll go faster and faster as we get better at it, and we get more probes launched.

All the technical info you need is embedded in this message. It kind of reminds me of the days of the old coalition. There was a handful of planets, and they all knew each other, but they couldn't get to each other yet. So they worked together, and they did what they could. I've got a big room full of servers here, and I'm going to be doing everything I can to keep you talking. And while I'm doing that, here's Bold.

Hey, how do you? there are citizens at a triad bulb here, planted at the trust local foundry 525. Shout out to my boys back home at the 525. I'm sure you're sitting on your asses right now, you lazy bums. Folks, we're going to be making some new probes for you for a while. We're going to get them whizzing around the triad, making sure everybody's birthday greetings for grandma get there on time and whatnot.

But that's not the only thing you're going to find on those probes. You're also going to find some detailed schematics for the fancy new engines, that are making these probes run. And these are bon to fight faster than light engines, my friends. First, that they're kind. This is the kind of engine that can change the game, folks. And nothing would make me prouder than to load one of these babies into a ship and send you sailing across the sky.

There's only one problem going faster. And the speed of light has a tendency to turn everybody's heading to a freshly baked root pipe. We've got the speed, and now we need the protection. And that's on you, my friends. All you fancy scientists and scholars out there, it's time for you all to work together and figure out a way how we can get back to each other. Yeah, I believe in you, you pencil necks. Get the work.

And here's the promise I make to you. Why don't you crack this little code, and it's time for everyone to get a brand new faster than lightship? The foundries of trust are going to fire up like they've never fired up before, baby. We'll go back to the days of the belt. Ayah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The old hammerhead himself, right? Uh, yeah, yeah, you'll be able to see the glow of molten steel from across the system. Beautiful.

Every ship 100% reliable and 100% union made. All right, breaks over. Uh, that's all from me. I look forward to seeing all your faces again, Triad. Bob out. So, I'm sure most of you are pretty pissed off at me right now. Trust me, when I say this was not an easy decision. I'm sure a lot of you are saying, who the fuck does this guy think he is? What makes him think he has the right to make this decision for all of us?

But that's kind of the point. The point is, I shouldn't have been able to make this decision. The point is, no one should have been able to. There's just too much power in too few places. All of us were so trapped in it that it would just go on forever. All of us afraid of the pain of changing things. But now, if we work together, if we truly work together, we'll finally be free all of us. There'll be no more secret hands directing you where to go and what to do.

It'll just be us. Us and the stars. This is the last you'll ever hear from me. It's all up to you now. Good luck. It has changed course. Probably headed to a shady spot in the quadrant to lick his wounds. Poor guy never knew what hit him.

With that ship of his, he'll be able to be the king of this quadrant. Yeah, but that's not what he wants. If he has any sense left in him, he'll grab a skiff and disappear. Start over again. Cross the triad. Did I do the right thing? Depends what you mean by the right thing. Do you mean the option that hurts the least?

Because quite often that's not the right thing. It was a pretty monstrous thing I just did, Eldon. Monstrous. Friends and family separated? Entire planets are going to have to figure out how to survive on their own again. Well, life but tut-tut-tut. You didn't knock the triad back to the Stone Age.

These are still highly advanced civilizations that, while they can't travel long distances, can still engage in limited interplanetary travel. You're not as monstrous as you may think. I feel like a monster. Well, what one of your fellow Earthlings once said. What? The old world. The world is dying.

Old struggles to be born. How is the time of monsters? Many people read that and assume that the monsters will be on the side of the old world, but I think the monsters will come from the old world and the new, for a while. Like it or not, you are one of these monsters, life. Sometimes you're not going to like it. I'm not sure how to feel about that. You just destroyed the TED Empire.

Empire. How about you have a drink or two? There is no greater victory than one shared with your lover. Oh, I agree, sweetie. Your bravery today was unsurpassed, my dear. Are you sure? I feel like I did a lot of hiding behind you. As you should. My hide is resistance to many attacks. I noticed. Though it is helpless against the attacks from your eyes, my love.

Oh, stop it. My beautiful boys have decided that on this day you should be given your battle name. My battle name? What is that? Name given to you after your first battle. Oh. Uh, do I want to know what it is? They have pronounced you, Caitlin, leader of the Unicorn Revolution. Oh, wow. Uh, uh, I don't get it.

Should I get it? I have no idea. The young people, they have so many names for things. I see. Best to just go with it. Okay, so she doesn't bite, so, you know, don't worry about that. But only pet her back. She doesn't like her face touch, okay?

Oh, kids, did you know that the Ashley Soros gets its energy from the sun? It's like a plant does. Well, that that means that she likes you. So, all right, everyone, take an asparagus, and you can feed her. So there I was, down in the cave. I said, you listen to me, Francis. You want to get to these refugees? You got to come through me.

Long story short, Francis, it's a pile of scrap metal now. Killer odd. You owe me pants. Pikeman Stover, two pairs of pants from you. Darth Ox, you have bet pants. And you don't have legs, my friend. What are we supposed to do about this? All right, come on.

Next up, let's go. Wait, you see there? That was a whole chair you hit me with. Nothing. Who's next? Buddy, seriously? You're just going to punch me? What's your fist going to do that the chair couldn't do?

So now you're injured. That's at least a sprain. A bottle. Oh, really, guys, get serious here. A bottle? Go get some power tools. Burge. Hey.

Sorry, it's so crazy in there. I just said, fuck it, and they're all serving themselves now. Someone should really make you a drink sometime. Right? Okay. Here it is. Are you ready? How are you feeling? How am I feeling about opening a lockbox from an alternate version of me?

No idea. I've got no idea. Well, it's not like it doesn't belong to you. You know, from a certain perspective. Yeah. Yeah, okay. How do we open it? The wandering mermaid wants you to know. The creature from the Black Lagoon and the Little Mermaid are the exact same story. What is that?

It looks like a hologram cube. It's like a framed photograph, Deidre. Verge? Is that you as a little kid, baby? Deidre, this appears to be a hologram of Verge's family. Oh, my God. That's them. Are you okay?

I'm okay. Talk to me. God, there's so many of them. Tell me who's who in this picture. Uh, it's, um... Vabian family structure is a bit different from an earthlings, Dietra. The family is larger, with several implied roles. Some say there were as many as 20 implied roles.

Well, there are roles in the family that translate roughly to mother and father. There are also implied rules that don't translate well. Okay. Virch? They're all gone. Tell me about these roles you're talking about. What does that mean? For example, there is the rochishette.

That person would be the spiritual center of the family, usually in charge of religious ceremonies. That sounds like trinket. Then there is the burette. More of an organizer keeps that house running. Loves a good list. Doug, for sure. The tafti. How to describe this.

The one who lightens things. A joybringer, a joker. That's June. The Dehba. Probably the hardest one to translate. Put simply, the one who will remind the family that they are loved. That's you. Maybe they're not gone.

We just sit here for a while. We can sit here all night. Trinket. Hey. That time that's missing from my memory, you still think you can get it back? I think so, yeah. Okay. I'm ready.

Okay. Let's get started. So take off your clothes. Uh, what? I'm just kidding. Oh. Come in. Sit down.

Let's have some tea. Welcome to the Horizon is brought to you in part by our Monte Cristo level and above supporters. Pronghorn, Billy, Bertbert, Bethany, Second Bethany, Julian, post-coitus cuddles make life worth living, Fada and Defuz, I have a healthy fear of furries, Tracy Nellig, Big Daddy Hankerton, Flapp the Flabbergasted, Nanique of the Not Quite North and Schrodinger's Duck, Jelly Bean and Jayfish, Eric Keevie, Ethan Horvath, Petra Peaches, Space Arsonist, Resonant Soundworks, Diane Simmons, John Gormanshire, James Connolly. They call me Brent. They call me, they call me, me, I work with kids, they can't say Brittany.

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Cachach the Lizard Wizard casts Warehouse Fire. Electric Nana Banana is going to be a sudden craze. Electric Lana Banana is bound to be the... The very next phrase, everybody, they call me me me yellow. To Polar Cat, and introducing Recy Pontiff as the 84th Doctor. Dr. Ladis Trash Angel absolutely covered in sawdust because she was granted a table saw. C.J. The Futurenaut says, stay fresh cheese bags. Reluctant Dave and his dairy queen.

Ifa Lilith will live on the radio waves evermore. Molly says happy anniversary to Bub and Lisi. I love you, you beautiful nerd. Team Hashim Samara and Thesson rules forever. Intergalactic transdimensional Monte Cristo pirate. Njord Flanders, proprietor of the Hood's Pocket Leftorium. This shout-out brought to you by the Redacted Unit podcast so I can convince Aethon to reveal a letter in their new series's name. Jonah the gay uncle.

Smedley-Pise-Nodgrass the third, but please, for the love of God and all that is holy. Call me Smedy. Chekhov's forklift lifts endless enlists forklift. So twice five miles of fertile ground with walls and towers were girdled round. The Fluffinator and Princess Puss say magpie cat should stop packing and get back to petting them. Demonic narwhal. Boomhauer weapons special offer. Buy one case of cuddle killers and get a free life-sized plush mungo.

Boomhauer weapons for rich people that want to stay there. that way. Randy's Amigo. When someone tells you about their divorce, say congratulations. So congratulations, Heather. No more sunk-cost fallacy. Lord Robero Tartis, he's bigger on the inside. Lorot. Corrie and Stephanie celebrate 20 years of marriage. I love you, babe. May we celebrate 20 more. Dr. Punt Gusher Esquire missed the cats greatly while he stole 28 bananas from his week-long work retreat. A fan of Casper. character development. Would you, could you with a mouse? Kathy B. Rachel Neal, Moses Ramirez, C.J., Dominic Alvord, Chris, April Zittkovich, Megan A. Copeck. The creature. Rusty Satellite,

Alk and White Owl. Jason Pye. Burger Corps. His Royal Highness Prince Pupenheimer McStinker Pants heir to the Three-Ply Empire. Owen the Orgasmic Ostrich from Oldham, Bad Egg, Brand with the pants that dance. June is my spirit animal. Maple and Kronis. Benign alien. Orion. Dilbert Weed.

Medali 71. Reluctant Dave. Scarlet Leopard. Bebo is not wrong. They are just waiting until they are right. Memsey. Spit boy the spit guy. He spits.

Demon Knight 016. Honey Cooper. Brookie, aka. Dances with cats. Mad Mad Mad Max. The sorcerer sanguine says brain demons is an anagram of Brandon is me. Gabriel Strife is brought to you by Charlotte Brown, Gary Gygax, and the number 42. Gabriella, the Jasmuch one, A plus K.

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Who do you think you are? I am. Zach the Wayfaring Cryptozoologist. Alphonse, first of the MOC's Lord of the A. stud high steward of the black separator member of the ancient brick collegium cause it don't change my number kate six seven five three oh nine bunches mcinty and her pack of rescued demon dogs B. Elzebub Lucy fir and Abby Normal if you want to know Squeaky Squeakerton squeaks von Squeakerson the third even though he's the first and only aka fake noodle all the mungos in the triad go Esquire has so many flowers he's giving them away down at your local record store.

The Transdimensional Traveling LMT. I like big butts and I cannot lie. Mental Hinge. Chef Gal Val was on hiatus for a while and is currently playing catch-up. Stay tuned. Did somebody order the Chaos Goblin Supreme hold the anchovies? No, seriously. Hold this bag of anchovies.

It's really heavy. Pago is actually Daniel Pagoraro from the town of Tori di Quartisolo in Provincia de Vicenza in Italy. Sammy, Localee, and Sir Dr. Werther P. Worthington. The Intergalactic House of Cats demand a free Palestine. Can I have Zandria but just get Joe to go for as long as he can on the R? Sure. Zendria. A plus Douglas, Alexica Habaniera, Alondra.

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Fenwick, Happy Banana Birthday, Lana Banana, Kitty Pockets, Molly Winter, My Father, the Milkman, Pinstrike algorithm, strikes! Rocky the used Tardis, Sales, Eridion, Shelby Wellby lives forever, the electric tuna and ladyfish in their fischdom. Theo at home, two sheep toys. We've been trying to contact you regarding your time-traveling dimension-spanning diner's extended warranty. It's not rocket surgery.

Byro, the motherfucking dragon of the Shreveport, the motherfucking dragon. Cheap con, the real cheap con, accept no imitations. Actually, never mind, go ahead and accept other cheap cons. I'm sure they're good folks. Coco Yumi can only think of them as... Hot Pockets. But Joland, Leif's one true love, and the bride Leif left at the altar. Dot, dot, dot, need I say more?

Kitty pockets. Mama's Time Lord Robert. Ron and Misty Dawn, two souls just trying to order night breakfast in the wrong time, space, and dimension. Cone of Silence Consultants apologizes for its rober. in transporting the eels to Hood's pocket. They were listed on the manifest as the singing von Trapp family. Nix Manx, Kelso the Great, Inayed, Silenkser. It's okay, just read my name once, then read a lot more Bethanyes.

Dave Clark, Tegan Rose, Michelle Smith, Andrea Beagle, Burden by Noon, Cuddles the Cat, Zar Tolemy, Morsa F. Jones, Melanie Tylane, Mystics of Cadoon, Professor Tuesday, Dr. Ava Maddox, is our cat. The Existential Bean, Mama Beth and her Wheel Babies Running the Giant Wheel. Cyrano Johnson, Troy Pugsley, Andrew Payer, Goth Squatch, Quellor the Liberator, Big J. Rock, Stuart Lynn, Orb. Logan Fullerton, Kulva Guvno, Rhonda Menard.

Dear Ted Empire, Your Code Sucks, Have a Sandwich needs to be a T-shirt as an anti-AI battle cry. Ava's Dying Pet Cactus, Dark Dream 95, Socialist Queers for Jesus. Taku, DJ, Harrison Sally, Lila Lost, Spooky 904, Gart! Eden Gavin, the world needs more June's. Big bunging Bernie Sanders approved Beyond Burger. Laif's third doomsday device. Duckie the Therapy Dog. Shane Snoke is a goofy enough name all by itself. The bears are joining the Bethany War against the Bethany's bearing arms for the Bigfoots on behalf of Bigfoot Benny and the Bigfoot Jets. Avalon, Droughtbreaker. A goddamn heart. Harpoon, pickle pancakes, Charlie Delambert, Michael Card, Raven the Neco Queen, Spike Osorio, Benjamin Davis, Twyla Sands, Alexandra Skildone, the Huac, Shenzo, Chris the Monster, Persephone Wadacore,

time-traveling, dimension-spanning goose named fig, Silenzer, Chrysara, Fernando Alacuzze, Wad of Gore, Not That Keith, Jordan Lawley, Some Fucking Swamp Wizard, Skexis, Royal Punk, Triciaa, Triciaa, that is not a taco. Z. Go! Udon 96, Ren the No, Latimer Lovelock of the Lacey Lady's Lovely Luxuries, Jizum Crow and the Holy Cow, Tanya Fisher,

Rainbow Goth Unicorn, Rangocorn, Our Lady of Crab Walking, Known, Nomad, the Human, Space Viking, Celestial Crow, Gavin Dees, Gavin Saler, Nefta Princess and her Aunt Sue's Honey and Emperor, Google's Glod, the Forgotten Storyt,

Mr. Woodoo. Chris with a K. A cat and a lemon walk into a time-traveling dementia-spanning diner. Slangwort. Honey Badger in a trench coat doing crimes. Elmo's chip shop, Jay Cable, cranky old organist. I, Joe Fisher, being of sound, mind, and acting of my own free will do hereby confess that I am the Zodiac Killer.

Jericho. Leon Sporkfire. Pastor Jen Jensen. The Dick Wizard. Chris Goyer, Noise Squared, Ginger Bears, Honey Bunny, and their sidekick Wicklow. The Mount Hood Torrey Gate, Mrs. Cashew, Julia Gullia of the Shreveport Gullias. Alex Drumbar, Stoner Pubby, Ann System University of Mihira and New Tideland. Enateb thought that they could spy in the Bethany War by spelling their name backwards, but it isn't fooling anyone, everyone.

Sub-Arctic Turtle, Doc U-018, Mark Kiyab, My two favorite sheep toys say hi from New Zealand. Bah. Namir. Sandalwood Mountain, East Coast Branch. Christy the Chaos Coordinator Joshua Baker Grant Blackburn The Bean Count Bandit, a margin Mage. Silent J. Geo.

Buzz Balab, the boom guy. Boom! K-Man. Mimosa. David O'Banyan. The Phantom of the Uxbridge Music Hall. Carmen L. 7. Dizzy Miss Lizzie. Mostly Harmless Alien. Logic Ledger. Kayla Soom, right behind you.

Gonzalo Mortines, World's largest ball of string. Bucky Chipmunk reminds you that You lost the game. Hesthaden Neprotham. Flashcards. Nine. Yeah.

The number nine. A resting place for weary beans. Shane Hopkins. Juniperb with the backwards knees. Eve in the between hour. Two-faced Janice. Slight burn. Scooter, worshipper of the seven cat gods.

The Amethyst Dragon with Tiger Eyes. Martel McKinney. Ice Queen. Laser Girl and the Nurse. Where are our oars? Caddy B. Go ask Alice. West Kester saves the world. Valen's three cats stacked atop each other wielding a plasma gun.

Jeffrey. Purple Nerple Nullifier. J.P. The Pizza Boss. Reapers passed. Late indeed again. Rex Cricket and Frankie. Brigitte. Spadius.

Squitty. The Frost Hunt Scientific Collective. Two of us have PhDs and the third has memorized all of Ava's dialogue. Champagne Supernova. Eleven letter Christopher. Antonio Ortiz. A block of ice. Huit La Coche is corn smut but classier.

Ren the Crestes. Erika Davis, Jane Doe, Magic Incognito, Lord Dres, Dracier, Blood Butler, Sandlewood Mountain North, cryptic amorphous, about 45 degrees, Mandy, Big Cat Makes Kitten Go Per, Ted Ted and Teddy. Hi, Bruce, enjoy your walk through them all. Parker Berry, don't actually say this part of my name, just say my name please. Dr. L.L, your Jamaican fan, says Waguan, Tula Blue and 142 Bugaloo. Pistol Pete and Death Lotion. Debbie Trencher, that one dude who likes tacos. Mark the list to name Loser.

The male escort. Lady Bethany, aka Mrs. Turkey Spit. Junior Barting, the father of Lucas. Ava Maddox's Ashtray. Adorkelsson. Bones, Lizard Breath, and the Snot Rocket would love a spaceburger. Andrea Rose. Samantha Orum.

Caden Suda. Bat loves dragon. Tommy Johnson. Unhip Fern. Noodles by Godzilla. Ralph Capone. Hone, Corey 83, Blues, Liz wants Laif to build her a plane, dude named Blake, John Caleb Williams, Talius, Kian, an eel exchange student from Midst, Daugherty last name, Ratrick, Ricklin, like

Rich Land, but without the D, Dyer. All Bethanies must do the hustle. Jordy Ladd Brad, Natasha without Boris, Frost and Alice, Lobster Possum, a mostly morose ghost eating toast. Hey, Leander, love you, kiddo, Malort Boy, Jinks the Cat would like to offer you biscuits. Have a zesty day. Megan. Malcolm Edwards. Spend my money irresponsibly. Stephen Drop. Danathanielson, son of Dana Thaniel or Danny for short. Chris Eaton. Cross Stitcher Who Loves the hobby and time travel. Funch Brunglin. Nash likes apples. Numatic Yeti. The Eldred Scha Zhaezoa. Wyatt Frihover. Paul. James Bell. Dave Davison. Broom Goddess. Ricky Burnett. That New Guy. De Savage Indian. Radboy. Jules Weeks, Calf, The Generous Patient Rose, John Wilkes, Booth's Freedom-L loving horse, aka J. Willikers, neckbone, his imperial doudness. Oh, hey, it's Jay. Grim, off the internet wants Harriet to know he loves her. Titan King 707, Rich Francis, Burger Kaspa, Spah, No Relation.

Jedi Shaolin, Smart Alec the Great, Gas Station Crypted, Deus Casheck, Bird, Bird, the Birdsbird, Papa Goose, sometimes I do feel like a plastic bag. Amanda Bill's Misty Wordpower Casper's Danish Moose Flacco, aka Johnny R. The Disco Spider. Leaf Tracks The Rise of Leaf, Chapter 2, The Ted Slayer Unchained. Vicky A Bear,

Pike Daniels, the Cosmic Whale, Zansatsu, Mr. and Mrs. Van Lemberlost, Murdoch Wange, Caterpillar Farmer, Chimera, Don Moat, the space trucker Chadwick Coden Doyle III, Jody Green, Monster Senshi, Michael Peters, Political Nitter, Seasonal Sasquatch

silently seeks secret society, so special souls softly sing sweet songs, smartly stirring strong stories. Physicist, Brendan Shoneman, I divided by zero and now I'm undefed. Laughes here. Magtremor. Rod Stewart the Sailor Slayer. James We Met, the listless enjoyer, Miss Maxine, boy got them honka-hunkers, Kevin O'Malley, Invisible Guerrilla, The Mrs. Poland, Zamaniac, Hop loves a thugbot named Francis, Pam the Infinite, And thou. Curiosity is eating your bones. Revolutionary inclined Oscelot. Matt Howler, Andrew Bear, Marius de Joa, Butterfly Fox, Riot the Trani. The fish did not acknowledge her. Irma the Lama, 27 Keep It Tight. Chip, Gloria's right hand Jack in the Boxman. Giordin. Grim Knight. Pike Daniels the Whale. And Thosceles Bethany Maximus Lord of Kingwood, Texas. Ragnar Jensen, Addison Weirdo Wagner, Shua the Druid. is composting the rich for a salad bar. Ehraman 0305. Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for night breakfast.

Titus Kosslov. Ashes of a burnt out lathe. I'm a kung fu panda on the wind. Brandon A.R. equals Thor. I love you all. Never forget that, especially in trials, and Laboza's voice brightens my day. The intergalactic house of cats demand a free Palestine. Electromancer, Chekhov's Space Cannon, Corey Senses, Surf and Turf Telecoms, I'm a Jin,

Red and Dusty with his Garden Goddess Shelby Morrison, Mystic Monster for Chaos, Ziggy Dreadful, Ravehands Mallee, G-Wing, Frank One, It Is Sparks, Lost Girl Lou, Chris B, Middle American Penguin, Shanna Welch, Crochet Cosmos, Andy the Celestial Penguin, Jackie Orion, Bo Nunley, Ariana Castillo,

The Tall Deer that portends great change. Lita Medtinger, Marco, Friend, as in Your Best, Lime Ghost, M, Icky Blurgs, Jay the Erascible. The Magic Committee, Committee of Anything Magical. Ian Full. 345 uneducated swine learning to swing dance. Nova the fuck accountant is definitely not a tangle. One intergalactic year with Big Potato 99, aka The Rat Lady, aka Bumblebee, aka AK-A.K. 47. Kai, just a little guy. Ender Wright. Mark Naza Warritz. Zenia, the Capturer of Light. Theoretical Chemist. Chris Loves to Read. Katie Machalick. Greg Andrew.

Drew's Lions. In memory of Jason Reese, get your butt fingered. That Girl Gracie, Magnus von Cavanheim, saucy little beast, Drewbert, Captain of the SS Beefy Tits, Longtime Lurker, Scooter, The Unlucky Sun, Jennifer Myers, Lady Lazarus, Donnie Darko, Tim Shin, Caitlin and Cete's Neverending podcast adventures, Whisper Dan, Keo the Panda Puppy Forklift Operator, Ruby Cherries, Nick Faye, Buttholen, Justin and Amy Triplett, Jen Sims, Penelope, Ring to the The Motas, The Leathermans, Odd Commodity, Gen Before, Ander Rho, Leah Prime, Gregory Santoro, Mothamil, Not the Fucky Fried Chicken, Robert Drapiza, Dimension Spanning Time Traveling Little Guy, Eono, Jonathon Tolbert, Mr. Put It On 06, Hedgehog Hen, Jackson Bell, Katie Chambers, Jay the podcast lover, Dickliss, Jackal, Chapter President, damn glad to meet you, Malcolm Flynn, Samuel Lee, Josatron Prime, Oh my God, I forgot to change my name from Nicholas Beckler to something more cheeky and fun. Arwin the Freer. Throat Goat 666, I Am Your Father, Addy Slosson, Inconceivable Kai, Red Rum 916, Nick Waycaster, Gotham still fucked up, Batman really ain't doing shit when you think

about it, no good monk, rye, yes, like the bread, Sarmann Sayed, Johnald Grimbus, Matt Knight Bouchager, Gavin Mori, damn, Eitri, Andromeda, Stephen the Choi, Gloria's Authentic Earth Coffee, Gabriel T, can someone find me the Parmesan? I did this, for fun. Cookie Nibu, Axel Zapata, Jason McDonald, Orionda, Bean Dino, Philip Lennox, Hugh J.Jas, Ryan Montgomery, Artemis Record, Safa Aluzi, Trev Brax, Gunner Tweedle, the Bard without a ballad or a mallet, Nazo, Platform Jail Mechanism Burn Museum theorist, hold please. Kayeow, Empress Squishy Face of Greater Catopia, Anna Garcia, Goblin King, Rays of Noop. Kiki's best friend would like to go to breakfast. Yeager Luce. Terry Cads says

Hello, Ernesto. Leaf Tracks, The Rise of Laif. Chapter 1, Loft Tracks retires. The Dishonorable prodigal Ilam, Sculliver, Sam and Shane, Asoka likes hugs. Going Anonymous. V. Ma Dukes. Ooh, chickadee. Dango Dale. Esty, not the website.

At every moment in every corner of every possible world, there is always a way home, and it's already found you. Jiao Paolo Lemos, Odd Keep, the sentient lighthouse, the faceless old Bethany who secretly lives in your home. D. Shane, Tanya Fisher, Appalachian Death Queen, Zosifer Dogo of Doom, Burt Barbecue Beef Briscuit. It's official, they're called Thigroney's. Kevin Wynens, Marlon C. Just Welmed. Madame Perry?

Cherish Hellfire's Hellish Chairfire. Lycan Lady, Midnight Club, Cameron Agnesee West. Knox, Lisa Lou, Emmett Hale, the Triads Baddest Goblin, Emory & Lano, James Miles, Brown Coats Love the Diner, House Chaos of the Critter Cacophony, Max, Nia, Ivan, and Mark will see you at six. Open, open, open, no wait, never mind, just Mark. And we make the world. Minion Simone Mimi Davis, Gaya Turtle, Wayne Barahona.

We will not rest until Puerto Rico and Palestine are free. Pluto, Crow, Nissie's Mom, Pokey Splort, Whiskey Rebellion and Genryantz Interdimensional Detective Agency. Trian Shibu and Griff. Slim Nandy, Gough Laf, Jen and Britt, Adriana Bartolomucci, Jonah is Gay, The Midnight Ashes, Hornetti, Ballion Fair has retired and now raises herds of mungos. Hood's Pocket Protector. The artist formerly known as Unpaid Intern would like to congratulate Heather on her divorce

and is thinking of getting one herself. Valky Storm. Patricia Who's always late but somehow on time. D.C. Squirrel. Kyle the Interstellar High Women. Shelley Act on the Verge. Gale Friend. Rubber Cake.

Clover the Clown. The Sparky Tech. Prop the Crocker. Ringleader Volt. Jazz Punker. Captain Tight Pants and the Companion. Renee N. Caterina de la Playa. R. I.P. Eloise Waffles. The Flufrangler. Acky the Space Druid.

Phantomland, T-T-R-PgG dice. Katea Plume! Your local blacksmith, the boggiest of birches. Jason, HVac Tech for the Diners Deep Freeze. S.K. Phoenix. Glitch the Gamerer-Monger-Montgomery Foxworth. Maryface. Luan Cherry. Peppermint Pearl, the Interdimensional Space and Tea Time Witch. Nicole 6-4, Amara Salazar, Banjo Buscolo, full beans, glorious forgotten Ford Vestiva,

Brandon Wright, night breakfast at the midnight cauldron, force for good-ish. The ghost of Dave Brockie, the Judah, Slater Morales, intergalactic fry lord, gravity's optional, but fries aren't, CJ's Big Barbecue Bistro for Bethany's, Angel Vasquez, Evil the Cat, Stephen Raymer, Carp Fishman, the Great Goblino, low oxygen, save the mungos,

Joji the Birdwatcher, a flock of gray horses from the top of a sycamore, lilac Morcella, Rachel Krempa with special thanks to my best friend Lizzie and my husband, Steve. Don't worry about the order, honey. Your tig old biddy, yean milf, majesty. Temporal Hashbrown, Diane Brown, Captain No Sleep, Jamie, the OG happy hippie, Rainey, Rubin Eden, the Shreveport Bohannins, C.C. the Umbrellae, Bradbury's Sasquatch loads Chekhov's gun and rides to join Bethany's army. Dinn, Cosmic Catchup, Lack of Lifestyle.

Joe definitely didn't forget about you, August. Moosey. Hood's Pocket, gear and sprocket local repair cafe. Postmaster General Kwan sent me. Blake Basmajian, nitwit 14, roiled way too harshly. DJ Johnny B., the Klopman Diamond, Marco Montano, No Longer Doing a Bit, Shiny Fields, Adam Tatchack, Christopher Wendell, unproductive banana, Pulsifer the Paulist of Paulism, zombie Spider-Man, Bex 823, Auntie Crypted, Barry Heap, Gas Mask Penguin, In the Hot Seat, Mime Ninja Mime, Master Uguay, Barry, Dili is Dallying,

Futile screaming at the ocean, Fox Hatlin, Dylan Caroni, Pedro Vibresto, Slider, Malachi, Julian Rhodes, Maple Emily, the gayest library janitor in Indiana. Learn how to be calm in heart, Stumbly, I'll be waiting. Physic the Good Bush, definitely not one of the bad bushes, funding rebel Bethanies to overthrow the duly elected Bethany's. Haxodicemal Bethany is non-binary. Vapis 10's big black gaping hole. The planet Gubrius is still partying. We can't stop. Oh God. What have we become? Bruce. Jessica Gagoma. Toracle. Jenny the bear. Agar. Sir Dean Thorne. Treech. Josie Jones. Mr. Fibble is very cross. Hote potato. Dr. Mojo postulates the end list endlessly splintering off as Bethany and Bert Bert Bert's caboose until its end lists all the way down.

Blind time traveler convention date. L.A. Woman, the Phoenix Rising. New name? God. No, not him. Jeff Andrew? Jeff Andrew. Cup of noodles. Shmizzy two shoes. Luna Nova. Nicholas Griffith. Justin Smallin. Riku 31. Craig Dundee. New type without a Gundam. Astral C. Ickle me, pickle me too. Which Loud the cartoonist. Guy with the chops. Sam. Mitchell Ye. Emelda and Scott, Courtney Cochran, Lily Starling, Ryan Kay. Devon 7777 has been my favorite verbal stem for months. Nate, Chip, Radio Free Realia, Violin-Love's MIDI, Brian Passley, Sue Wobassa, the Blue Chernobyl Dog Enjoyer.

Grenna, Pistonwhip, Captain Ducky, Blitz Bell, Satuma, Silius Go-Ex, Coach Shane of Toad Sucx Central, Go Cranes, Sky, Cole Arthur, Lego Cuisant, Cassaud, Norwin, Murgler, Joe Kappa, Dogma Mom, We be chopping broccoli, icy fish, the hacker known as Ivy DeBurb, Blue Tune, a feisty-ass chickade, poultry landmine, the scrappy poet, Jenny the Crypted Paladin, Maverick Artists, Shit, It Was a Mimic, Basil in their Tea, waiting to gossip with David, Ainslie, Ye, Ye, Ye, Ye, Ye, Ye, Ye, Ye, Ye, Ye, E, E, E. Angnor, A-T-B, Kiwi-Lovelybead, Zoe, Professor Freda, Michelle Spurgeon, Jack the Sleepy, Garrett Henderson, Twote, still trapped, but I've

stopped asking why. The freezer is. I am. We chill. Son of Defarge, Whiskoteach, give peas a chance. Samma Ding Dong. Behold Lady Sarah Purr, Whisker Vale, Countess of Woodhallow, mistress of the whispering pines, and beloved by all creatures small and opinionated. Ricardo Galamba, Kari's crafty cloaking devices, LLC, hashtag we weave em of Gossamer. Penny the Wonder Dog and Bucky von Buckbuck, Medium rare extra toasted bun, saucy Caesar, belt, Aspen is a Verge fanboy. Ava's favorite My Little Pony Pencil wants Joe to slap into a snim gym.

Mr. and Mrs. Drifter, representative of the Alaska Midnight Burger Tummy Time chapter. Nathaniel Lee Industries, Lord Entropy, Bach, motherfucker, motherfucker, motherfucker, motherfucker, motherfucker. The Faye Wanderer, everybody's favorite clowns Splotchy, Kosher Steak, Flo Rida, Alyssa's shiny pants, Gondor calls for aid, Arnold Rumspringer, the demise of the Temple of Bethanies. Alan Bergland says, Hi, Mom. Rin the No. Kitty McSull.

Raven Strom Dan's hapless novelist passenger of the dimensionally impermanent and temporally incontinent bookshop cafe the wild-eyed prophet. Tessa Craig. Perfectly personalized disaster. Jim Turner. Lux luminos. Jove. De Niro. Big Chonk.

Gidees. Boom's wooden leg. Jilly Bean. Benjamin. Not Franklin. Tracy Baby. Leah. A singular nightbird.

Bethany in a green field. I am the lizard frantically firing flichet guns. A.E.I.O.U.Y. and W. Bumble Faye. Mr. E. long-haired mat, DJ, Robert W, Breelzebub, Kresimira, Jessa Lauren, Myth and Stitch Ebroidery loves the Mucklewains, Lulu, Dooio, the Brew Crew family, Bert Ruba, your most benevolent

benevolent lord and master of the multiverse, Jeffrey George, Ellie, don't tariff me, bro, oopsie. Evelyn, the wizard Mooses holds out their cat for you to pet, Grimilar, Genie Woboom, errant popsicle stick, M. Horowitz, Isle of Refuge, Jack Spider's mom, Bubblebutt Bethany has banana breath, llama fresh, Jare the Benevolent Destroyer, Valtiel Heller, Sad Little Earth Monkey, Revin the Red Beard Wizard, Bert Bert, Bert, and the Funky Bunch, high viscosity, gender fluid slime. Bethany II, Electric Bugaloo, Welcome to the Kwan Pound. Pen, pen, pen, pen, pen, pen.

Mr. Mucacho Kaiser Schnitzel has successfully recruited Sarah Murphy's cats for the Trouble Puffs Fight Club. The Wolves in the Deep Freeze say, awo! Sanctuary Moons No. Number 2 fans. insane clone posse. Alice Lewis. Simply Amy Sue. I pushed her because Joe said so. Even older Liz. McBearcat. Grak Pinfeather, Citigan, Druidic scientist. Astro, your friendly neighborhood, android. Moonlight zombie fox. Old Doc Racy, the Midnight Missionary, Out There Somewhere looking for you. Rotten Ronnie sleeps in grandma panties. Artist Dragonborn. Bigby Garage. Bill Zangana Lester.

Joaquin Jimenez. Big MF. Juice, the SIP. Muffins. Spacewise. are officially Verge and Deidre. Chad Hatter, Cosmic Tea Maker of the Triads. Tell your cat, I said. Upspspspsps, psh psh psh psh. Banana Manaz, a corgi cold kibble, cuddley Cracken, Sarge the Bard, Seminity, L.L. Coolment Jams,

Travis Robertecust, Ken Daddy, Leah Aizotti, Millie was taken, dead to me 86, B. Camp, Shanman, Man, Man, Karma Camillion. Kinran says hello. Zoe and her army of mice. Briar Longlost. Daniel, Trixie Belle Dubois, Dr. Budiologist, the Glutes Doctor.

Thank you for pressing, too. Your Anglophone Emotional Support Canadian request will be processed in the order in which it was received. Queen Sirly Jess. R. IP, Lance McLean, you would have loved Midnight Burger. Adam Toclove, Dr. Bitchcraft, Sassy Cat the Space Vixen, Claire Rock, Jekka, Eros to God, the size two fish you've been looking for, Iokai, Borgia, spiders are cuddly. The main immortal pinball sounds in the diner. Chil Neal. Sin City Scuba Steve, Polywog, Michaela White, Elena Pickle, Wilbur Winklewright,

wristwatch wrangler of West Worcestershire, riding through the desert on a horse name Poteu! Professor Thaddeus Snookham's the 8th, Mr. Grin, Glenn Petrovsky. This moment of silence so Joe can catch his breath is brought to you by Rick Tyler. Elizabeth Hammond, Steam Vision, conductor of the interdimensional time-spanning hype train, Dave Harold, Wisecube, Bromine, pronounced bro, mine, main ham dinga. Mother of Pearl, Fiona now owns Laf's 18-inch Peter, Sealface, Rigormortus, Megan's Things Megan Makes. Coy Lane, Trebex Reject, Prophet of the God of the Mucklewains,

Darth Ox, Michelle Kay, Aaron Arnold, Boio yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-o-y. Mammaander, B, Ross, and Sluntmaster J. Alpacalypse. Spokane, doesn't suck. Elliot Paints, Undead Akira, the Lord Reverend, Ryan, Thomas' 10, Tenebrist, Tann, Stathal Tippers, treading treacherously tantamount to telling totalitarian trope termination tales. The lovely Laura Lovely. Kith Gamgey, Sam Wise's Flamen Cousin. Darryl.

Jeremy the ruler. Gochi, Charles, Robert Darwin, the Third, Esquire, Ph.D. Jacob Mitchell, Zeke in the Box, Stevie Crowhill. Ola Mille, of the Welcome Wagon says, Ecobel. The Adventures of Magpie and Brown Bear. Scrubs. Remy, the Panda Crew, Melody Prime. Beardo the Wizard.

Captain Benjamin Hawkeye Pierce, the German. short-hair pointer from Nashville, wants to tell his mom Maddie that he says, Woof? Whiskered, any two hands for the double high-five, Marissa the Ghost. Local snowplows in your area are dying to meet you. Rutherford B. Chesterfield and his dapper companion Winchester. Cheshire Corgi, Stray Cat, Old Kelsey No Shoes, Zoldia, Dizzy Flame. We serve everyone eventually. Sasha.

Beth and Alan Van Gillis, Langston North. Sly Fox, aka. Brere Rabbit. The Constantly Lost Geographer, Timothy Aotis. Chance wants you to know, he cares. Wolfstark, Elliot, Hobbs de Co., Natalie Bartlett, Rory of Yin, Mooby the Golden Calf, Suda Satoshi, Giovanni Salinas, Rocky G, Perry the Pirate, Aaron Elizabeth, Knaarcotics, Solomon Price, Daydream, but Evil, Baba 485, AKA Shemelbach the Christmas Whale, Kaiju Somalier, Stella Corvice, Jesus Garcia, JP the IT Guy, Candyman Fight,

John Peters, you know, the farmer? Barclay on the Holladeck, Dapper Dad, SCP-049, O Magis, Raven the Dreamer, TK Turtle King, Mike M, spaced-based lasers, Captain B and Lady G with their swabs. Marla, Madam Lotus, still especially loves Finley, Mr. Steamwave. My friend the Rhino says, Be Nice. Hoop Challenge. Dream Founder, I'm your Huckleberry.

Elizabeth T. T. T. Tai the Wonder Hamster and her dear darling Duke, Grandpa Gus, boombastical Kim Licker. Hugamuffin, Bigfoot of Doom, D.L. Annie Atkins. A bounty hunter called, the Crandy Man. Garrow. My cats say to tell you, meow. Think fast, chuckle nuts, flashbanged. Benjamin Ortiz. Mr. Frog President. Pop Rock Quicksand. Mr. Squizzle, Whizzle, The Horrendous, Apollys, The Horrendous Apollies for Conspiring in the Bethany War. Invites for Tea are being sent now. Abonaso, Mr. Rage. Adelor, Transpace Dinosaur. Spooky Spaters Storytime. William Kent. Andy.

The McJimmy's from your local dimension. Ryan Abbey, Thomas Adams, drink spiller, Stephanie Buk, Entropy eigenbases, Andrea Crowther, Martin Dears, Kevin Daughtry, DeFlower, Two Daddy Jazz Hands from Mouse Toots, Dan Gentry, I hope something good happens to you today. Yes, you. V. Greenly, Ron Hayden, Michelle Hopper, Jake the Cook, Josie Jones, Boots Cootin' Dave, Anthony Lakey, Britt Littlefare, T.U. Luther. Some days you're the beetle, some days you're the dung. Lauren Mayer, Glenn Morris, Richard Ryan Mischel, Michelle Myers, Ali Upsi, not to be confused with Upsi, Fridgepicle, Rosemary Prem, Robert Savat, Lizard Lee, Eliza Sharp, Donald Schingler, Daniel Stavie, Fall of the Berlin Wallaby,

Kelatia Tia Rachel Vasquez, Luca Vichito, Nia Venturi, the beloved yet borderline inappropriate empire of Dr. Thunderbutt and Lady Christabel, Justin Wiley, Brett Zimmerman, Aero Jones Jubal, Xavier Killingsworth, Lane Kiffendifend, is a ho, me medic hygienist, Aaron Star Joshua Damien and Sentinel of the Star System, Claude de Clause, Spunky Dan, Rachel Seymour, Ed Boy, Ryan Finnelly, Jonathan K, Pearl Null, Petabyte Avatar, Tugwin the Mighty, Project Octopus, Ken, Chibs 1012, Scotty Oates, Beirotron 95, Dance Break! Spikoo, the Bracken System and its homeworld Wren, Simply Tony, it will always be Finley's workhole to me if you know, you know. Gabrielle Castion,

Whom, what, when, where, and why is what all Thigroney say while listening to Midnight Burger. A drum major and a trapeze artist walk into Connie's bar. Sir Party Animal. Uloid Jackal. Ari Shore, you Mike Rob the Nancy Sinatra? Court need to leave it alone if you want to live. Must be a witch. Cat with a K.

My Thigroney has a first name. Stoppensine L. Mustachio. Lucifer Hezekiel. La Chihuahua Brava. Adolin Pets. Cic Carousel. Cork, the Destroyer. Honest Puck.

Casper's Moms of Milf. Scout and Foxglove says the floor is lava. Unexpectedly blue red now. Kerdomsky. Craig Armstrong, Plastic Fork, Dulce Studios presents Under the Truskin Sun. Get out of my booth. Bug. Propagator? I hardly know her. Sad Angry Crabman. Chuck McFinley. Effie and Zebulon's trans great-granddaughter Hazel Hayes. Velocity Girl 42. Little Dragon in a Chuldron of Bats, Ben Carlisle, Flat Steve's Love for Grand Theft, Anna Keirney, Tater Tadat Assassin, Four Schnauzers of the Apocalypse, Starbla's Burnbright, Imzukioki, Kikioki Rino and Her Hand Me Down Frogs, Red Mafia Panda, Lonely Isle, Kydalo Headphones, Hinkle, Pikeman Stover, Pikeman Stover's wife, Alexander the boss, Scrizzles, fwap, kitty, kitty,

the firekeeper, the end is nigh, Jeremiah the canceled, librarian Alex, Spike and Fay, Johnny Ellen West and the boys from the dwarf, Speedy McSpeedy, Eli, Wolf, Auntie Becky is owned by five rescue cats, speckled unicorn, Jedi rides again with Nova the Space Pirate, Tevin Longblade Short Sword, Forget normal, a damn! CJ Johnson, a dragon sitting on its hoard of dice, Wendell Whitaker, Chumbo Wombo, Fecchoo, Smivey, Glowbed Roulette, Andrew Fuller, Bon Mi Hung, the Soup Witch, Fetishini Alfredo, Cowboy and Sasquatch Hunts Bethany's, Pebbles, VV, Effie Rawlings, Megan Hazen, Philip, Your Dad is Not Your Dad, Nick Beaure, Midnight Plummer. His Royal Highness,

Mr. Hamilton Underfoot Kitty the first and accomplice Princess Penelope, the Marchioness of mischief and Maven of Mystery, Megan Gentry, Mr. Cherry, Our Ass is in the Jackpot, Tubby Teddy, Wayne Heiser, India Inkblot, Sleve of Bahamut, Omi Gracie, Dalton Jenkins, Cat Holtz, CalArt in the Hired Knight. The True Mega Mike. Fred and George. Ava Maddox Jr., Liza Worth, Cass Williams, Christie, Yeat My Boy, 46 Toolshed 2, and El Marie Catastrophe. The Image Collector, blended music, definitely not Kevin, sitting squirrel. Patricia E. Melt says in a world of slug bots, be a hugbot. Red the Grey, the Silver Crow, Couch Potato Alex, Neverchild, Dr. Dr. Nossos, Interdimensional Biologist. Kiboko Dunord, Cozameen, Theodrax, Joey B,

Lucas Barding got his barber to listen to Midnight Burger, Little Debbie Cupcake. Terran says, hey, Oreos are rabbit. Sandlewood Mountain offers peace for your soul. Wimical fuckery. Megan with an H. Patricia the Time Lord. Mango connoisseur. The Big Moose and his wife, the Little Moose.

That old glory coal. G.L. Miaoanez, Cat Butler. O'Sheen Lou. Alex Berry. Andrew Oakden. Asymmetrical exile. Chiro the Space God. Eliza travels the universe.

Lindsay Bowen, the goddamn podcast lawyer, Alex Spruce, Dr. D. Birdcloth, Swether, and Mrs. Dubbo-Wa-Birdcloth-Wether, want to say hello to the whole Spweather family. I lost my galaxy britches in a game of pants darts, Angry Ron, Dominus Caesar, Durkidub, Gloria's ex-girlfriend, Kelly Clickspring, The Wild Thistle, most likely Cass, Jasmine James, Dr. Cabarand, also known as Omni, thanks Waffle Chateau, Colorado Beekeeper, Fruitcake, Zephyr's wife has the hots for Zephymes, Zebulon. Zambria. Jennifer Culkins, Midday Burger, Don Parks, throat goat 666, oh my God, my dad found out about my Patreon name.

Princess Leia, fish in a bag. September, previously observed in the pattern. Prime Freak, Protector of the Scottish Realm, Lil Lord Stevie Pie. Droid Pirate Finley and his Rubin-esque parrot. Droid Pirate Finley and his Rubin-esque parrot. Stuck in a pit of Skittles, C-squatch, Deflater Mouse, Tony Piacarsky, Adrian R, the devil from Table 12. Javier. Crazy Thadley. Cremulus is just happy to be here. The Twisted Twigster. Real Housewives of Seagius. Tha Queen. Upschnart, the Probability Demolition Expert. Showtime. For My Mother.

CCTV. CCTX Girl 6823 waiting on the diner. Nicole Studioso. Sign my shovel. Your access is granted. Kay the Flying Penguin honks at the Horde of Bethany's encroaching on their nest. Honestly, this is getting absurd. Truck Stop Sandwich. Indigo. Escargo. Love my captain, Joe Mauma, Wondering Biscuit, Aims Affection for Internet Protection, Retro-M-G, NightScript, Widget the World Watcher wearing a waistcoat and wig, Utrud and Rose's Viking Void Vitals,

fueling the intergalactic fight against fascism. Yeah, not sure what I'm doing. River Brown, Senior Deuce, Warped Rider, Tim Nacey, Ruben Clamzo, Turwin, Morgan Brockman, Sylvie, Friendly Neighborhood Fire Protection Engineer, Skull Bulb, Dustin Watson, Betty White 813, Randy, Supreme and Queen Lancaster, Bolivar Shag Nasty, The One True Cheapcon, Star Scribe, Lucian Thunderstruck. Ho-ho-Hum, Mamma. Glorbner 7, now granting refugee status to victims fleeing the Bethany Wars. Dooser now identifies as Roman dirge, The Other Adel, Leah Hall, Sarah May, silly-willy bubble butt, Sierra not from Arkansas, Ebadizzer Boob, Caleb Tumial, Jason Wood, Jason Wood's, Arnie Arbuckle, Esquired, Potian Meistro, Nebulae,

regulators mount up Wandering scholar Mad Yogi Eileen A cat named M. Petito Pato Palace Big Mo I am Annie I live forever

in every moment I've existed I swear to every star in the cosmos I never forgot it was a gift The Stone Fox Silivia Papitos Henry the goose Jennifer Baumer Ninja Grim Reaper

Miles Nelson I am a bomb till I think of something else to do Burit words Hot shot Huntley Momo's Mama Space Mormon says what Ivy Paisley

toast Sue Watts, Myrtle, Caitlin, leader of the Unicorn Revolution, Matlock, Lord of the 13th Sea, The Fourth Era, Printing with Cats, Calisi Del Mar, Von Vega, Dixie Dina, 7,000 Possums, KBS 1017, Silas Vex, Sarah Jack Sparrow Space Pony, Revive, Debbie E, Dusty Ventures, and his pilot Uzi drifted through space, Ronnie Porter, Gloria's Line Cook, Eagle Rock Lobster, the Gabbiest Painter, and Her Bird of Fire, Painted Oni, Q Dell, Farel, Emily with two E's, Spaceman Nathan, Ramsey's Niblich the Third, Kruplunk, Kruplunk, whoops, where's my thribble. Jackie Wavlet, Yeoi Gagarin, a Grimlin with the Munchies, Michelle Skorakio, Genuine Jacobs, Space Rooster Randy,

Leopard Donut, Poofey Thang, Mellow Nuggets, Keychain Crap, Stilo, Bumbling, Lilibbe, a quick pause so Joe can sip from his tiny teacup. You know, if you don't trim a tea plant, it can get up to 50 feet tall. Same thing with children. Panda. Kennedy, Allison Farner, the perpetually tired transgender time traveler. Tristan Stolls, Dalen Y.

Shadow Rapture, yet another Nicole, Hank the Wonder Lama, Arcraft, Russell, Zephyrus Wind, the Ornamental Tremant, Jay to the Lynn, just a regular fox, Jeremy Imson, what the hell, Cineplex, and all the black people in North Carolina, Just Rachel, Waffles, Waffles, Waffles, Waffles, Waffles, Atlas Bear, A, Viffed It,

A. Zeus. Anaphylaxis. Scav with Comtacks. The shapeshifting sad girl and her girlfriend say, Joe, you've done it again. Sarah Nicole. The Kells fights with the Bethany's. Angry Leafs Lasersaw. Magnus Aerochill. Amy Perry. Christophirky. Source decay, descendant of the Swether Catfish whisperer. Vagabond Mary, Bold Mouse, Katie Mermaid and the Delinquent Duo. Nomin. Nicole. Victor Schauberger reincarnated as White Mountain Hillbilly Glitter Cupcake. Max Danger's, Security Chief Shatsy, The Anxious Peach, Team Michelle and Billy, Nea Nix Reno, Frankinator, Nortelbash, Jordan, Rwinx, Belasco, Ryan Rosinski, average height, medium rage, Audio Monkey, Joe, Team Hafe ofison, K. In the mysterious AZHQ, I'll grant you that we have a multiplicity of mics, a jumble of

Jameses, a trifecta of Tonys, one of whom still wants to be Laif, but sadly, no Bethany's. Rowan, Thady of the Black and Herald of the Stars. Aryan can't manage normal. and Burnett, Dr. Dr. B., Zopres and the Bumble Army, growing into my farm boots. Superbeth becomes an RN alongside my bootstup farm friend. Geneva boss, Arkansas and not Arkansas, brothers of the cosign, uncivil noms, the Rat Queen Evelyn, Great Lunch Conversation, Captain Scott, Letty Lou. He was a shifty one that Nick Howard. Kinger was here, Bobby Ray Winland Jr., B-Babadduwap, Warped Echoes, Slabs McTurps,

Jeremiah Franco, Justin, the Nick of Time, Gothic Rainbow, So We Made It, Cody McClure, Eternal Companion, Maxine Lazotte, Jingelos, Eris, Goddess of Nobody, Has Matilda, Ditsy Bay, Just Your Average, Kyle Church, Static Ego, Lallym Dobson, Dave B, Nabi, your friendly neighborhood pathologist, going to be lit, Captain Emerald L, Wayne Hall, Danny Mars, externally screaming, but Bethany, I Made Biscuits, Skibo and Fuzzle Macbumpurnits, Neelix Tiny Wolf, Christina Sennit, Christina Senatist, teleporting, BRB. The Shains are not organized enough for a war, but there is a growing number of us, and it is concerning.

Definitely not an Android. Seriously, I'm not. The Wandering Welshman, Whatever Tabby, Carolyn Harper, Nikolai Tolkachev, Z3DT, Shy Sparrows, BLTN, the Kiwi-Wy Duckling, Dana-Dena, Fee-Fina, Fifeana, Monsters' Olmanacs, Biggest Fan, Aubrey and Her Dad. Tequila Mugingbird, Spweathergoose, Damar in the Space Goblin, Isopale, Exquisite Wimsy, I am Lord Zoltan, hear me roar. Pocket Ghost Max. Mags the Conqueror imposes economic sanctions on the N. B. Bethany's for the whole laser saw car incident.

My cat's name is beef. Katie Kate, get your colonoscopy, Victor Casados, Emily Schmemle, Boho, Go Bye-bye for Jojo Pogo. That's a no-go, bro. Cody Monster, Collided Mind, Miss Nixie, Baby Baton Lee, Charlie Roodle, Kyle Perino, A.K., Sid the Sloth on a bike, Priya Gandhi. The Wandering Mermaid would like you to know that the Little Mermaid and the creature from the Black Lagoon are the same exact story. Little Stevie Pie, Green Mountain Hermit Bethany. Carl, the teller of dad jokes. Skylab's multidimensional, multifacic intergalactic quantum cyberverse. Verde Sol. Galen Miller, Tess, Geriatric Youngen, Mystic Hippie, Unforkable, Local Marshag, Daniel Nitz.

Mavis Bacon's, Pyrhows calling. The Wizard's Supercalifragilistic Xpialadocious. Too many Jans, says. Things are bad. But we're going to win. Pamela Roselle Tierra. Then Stina says, Thud Tweed, Enigmatic Catbird, Countess of Carbon, luminous elk, roadie in caution, love is for the Nierds. Taz Hernandez, Captain Crash and the surviving crew.

It's just Tyson now. Casper needs all the hugs, but Joe needs an O2 tank. Quote says, Joe is the writer's room. Nasty Dog 74 needs crew for ship. Brown Coats OK. Awkward Heretic. Devin 7777. Troy Aker, Mandy Kane, Northerly Kay.

Lost Basin, you know, the moon prison outside the triad. Kim Sel, silly goose, honk, hongk, ad matha, astro unit, ghost saber wolf, the sleepy mystic, Sarah Joy, Taters, precious, it's just Steve, RuPaul Atrades, Amanda Short, Chut, Brimble, Deidra, Mike Whiskey and Your Friend Frosty, No Saguaro. Benbar, stand clear of the closing doors, please, beastly death, Sven the unlikely, cognito-hazard expunged, Ted Wassonassin, Virestria, Theosus the Theeolol. Why is my daughter so feral? Send help. Fernwood gal. Nellie G. Twinkle Tots. Gemini Sky.

Phantoms Mom's, Moms. Callison. Hornswogland, Daniel Arthur. It's a fucking dog rapture. Abigail Yoderle. King Humble. We'd better ask Dave.

Windchimes for safety. Cameron Winterborn Welsh. Fireball XL5. McKenzie Duna. Code Stranger. One bat de bet. Bet. Ha ha ha.

Matt N. Alfie Rivineurum. Momona Kiki, Frelp, M. Lynn, Feed Me Fish, J.R.R. on SFP. J. Spark. Lucid Harbor. Little Mirror Leopard Paws. Die at Night. Mars Royalty, Take 20 Damage. Mabob. BADdlepob. Bhopin'Bugaboo. Snorts, Maghors, Fresh squeezed, Patrick Holt. Hold it now. Hold it now. Hit it. Had it. Had it. Bradley Ashby. Peter. William Dyer. Vicki Abear. Brad Maneer. Jane. Hannah Dale. Crystal Delightful. Grateful. Gr. Grouch. Gr. Crowshot Betty and her steel-eyed bow. Jackie Lowey, The Little Pigeon, Quentin Elizabeth Jones, Lily the Planetary Brain, crazed bear. Crafty Lizard, Be Quilton! Yes, my brain is weird, thank you.

Megan the Meg Young, Corey Morose, Russell Bunny, Max Savage, Jenny Wrenn, Apprehensive Craig, Tim Aranetta, Bacon, Nicole Studioso, Rambo, Chaos Squatcher, Jeremy Bairamy! Stephanie Sturgis, Kirsten, Hurry Up and Wait, Sarah Farmer and Bella Donna first of her name, Criddle, Twilio, Heidelberti, Tom Webster, Rashme Vincatech, McClump, Azzana the Leathersmith, Salazar the Doe Mage, Hayward's finest, Garin Elizondo. To my little, you'll always be my good girl, you took a piece of my heart and left a pawprint on my soul.

Till we meet again. Sir Schitts-ilot strikes again, damn, Ashton James, Elspeth, Skyland, ALR, Sidewalk Jam, Tonka-2005, Cruzen B-Anthony. Trick says, Whiomp! Tibble the first, Allie Frog, Trey the Turquoise Tortus, Freya Titmittance, Courtney the Frogologist, The Fon Tucky Wrangler, Scrimbrulee, Yay, Aaron, the singing loon, Zuzana, Celeste Yose, I'm So Antigone, Fawn. I'm Ava's evil twin sister, Bethany, Katie and Noah, Hendrix the Stink, the Ambergler, Boodles, Osvaldoz, Osvaldoz, Osvaldoz, Osvali, Asvaldo, Asphalto, Ashbara, The Defron, The Diffinastration of Ted's, Corrine Sabrantha, Shadow Daddy, Rubius Fuzzlebutt, Kay Mack, The Something-something Detective Agency, Hyabuda, Eli, the Electrician, Sunny D'Annamile, Charme, Kay on with Karma, The Wondrous Methasophon, hashtag Nissan Acura, Finnegan Robert, Jesse Foster, Samira, Mother of Cats, Flat Doug, Deary Darling, Ambient Drifting Man 80, Chris Hancock, Nicole 23, Gracefully Impaired, Tired Pirate Muffin, Steve King loves Kathy, Laura, Roman Ronan, John Pruitt, Camel Pope, Phileena, Rebecca Trossel, Ig Pei Attenle, Chris from Tacoma, The Real Fairy Godmother, Mitzie Loo, Kelsey Home. Still Casper's number one fan, but now armed with a quantum spatula and ready to duel every Bethany in the multiverse with breakfast wisdom.

Damien the goddamn time lawyer, Matt Mosby, St. Fu, Harry Fishnuts, Astronoib, Magnos the Civil Gnome. Welcome, everybody. I'm Hidalon, and I'll be leading our Midnight Burger emotional support group. Starlight. David Peerini, Techno Ranger Rick, Virgo Ares Infinity, Best Budd's Danny and M, Charles Q. Choi, a bug named Nat, C.C. Rider, Hunter B. Rudra, Death the Kid, Big Whiskey, All Cockinator, Ron was here, Magic Pony, Robert Olivari, often wronged Dan, Jess Gioia, Killer Odd, Creator 67, Mervate of the Dark Seas, Cosmic Shrug, Incorrigible Ross, SCRB Mark 11, Eric A. Rayborn, Maggie's Yarm, Stu, Enth Anomelie, Haunt, Purple Saline, Three Legs are Perfectly Good, Drew and L.A., Anomalous Death to PSL Vandal, Fuck Ice, Captain BLEP, Ryan, Evey Power, Terry, PJ says what? Amelia Lucero at all.

Fear now doesn't polish the shiny melon. Blargo, Blargo, Blargo, The Jazz Man. Tonight at 11. Larak the Barbarianess, Hicks Bezzie Mates, zealous pragma, tuba Rick, it's just Blake. Alice Malice reminds you to take your medication, please, your health is important. Kelly Jane Danky, Aaron the Optimist,

Thomas Stolen, aka A.A. Casper from another universe. Chadney Ashra, Lucretia, Thornus Animator, Tamara Oliver, The Real Dirt Fairy, Marissa, Ava, No, not that, Ava, the one within... Grimm, says, Rest in Peace, Jamie Baugh. You are my light, and the world is dimmer without you in it. Zaki Nat, underwater Corvid, Spisorinkum, Snakes and Bakes, Michael Christian, Ransom, Maroon My Salil, Grolix and Tarobang, Late Indeed Again, Theron Pyrallus, Om Vega, coming soon, dances with burritos,

Gwocked and loaded. Aaron Mitchell, Lady Kianu Meissen, Onix Rose, Jackie Wavlet, J.R. The Hiker Bear, Velocate, Al Cave, Krusty McBeardface, Malloran, Sweet Michelle, Kara, Kallmi Zen, Calibri, Mel Momburg, Rogue, Lisa Gaisler. Uh, attention, Dred Pirate Fredberger, we have run out of languages. Please contact her office. What the Chuck, Sonor Nasuno, Ben and Jessica, Todd Van Vorriso, Peeci Zatoichi, Inge the Grak and Azula the Brave and their ever-faithful squire Grabthar. Gen Extraneous, Dancing Dog Dreams, Trinkett Coralie, and Existentially Exhausted Bean. The Fable and Falling Network, where fiction producers flourish. Welcome to Magenta Presents, a new horror anthology hosted by me, Madam Magenta.

We begin with the five-part miniseries Ghosted, starring Beth Eyre and Lucy Roslyn. Perched on a rain-battered cliff edge is a former lighthouse. It's a charming, quirky boutique hotel. Owner and sole occupant Beth has spent months renovating, absorbing its essence into her bones. It's an old building. You'll get used to it. But to Beth's horror, her first guest is a figure from a past she has tried to forget. Kira?

Beth? What the fuck? Face to face for the first time in years. The pair must reckon with old mistakes, old grievances. Beth, speak to me. Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. And something else. Oh, I can't bear it.

What is that noise? Because the lighthouse has a past, too. Beth. He's right there. Why is there blood on your hands? We need to get out of here. Kira. Kira!

I can still see him. Subscribe to Magenta Presents, wherever you listen to podcasts. See you soon, fans of the esoteric. Bye! Magenta. presents