Midnight Burger - Welcome to the Horizon Part 6: Back to the Black

Episode Date: October 1, 2024

-Content Warning: Episode contains Violence.-“I have no idea what this place is.”Cast:Cat Blackard as VergeTina Case as DeidreJoe Fisher as EldinTomi Zandshtein as The AcolytesWritten and Directed by Joe FisherProduced by Joe Fisher and Finlay StevensonTheme Music by Ian Ferguson“The Sheliak” by CreatrixMusic on TikTokJazz Club Music:Stomp! Stomp! Stomp!, Dirt Floor Boogie, Once I was a Miner, A Gal I know and Fat and Muscles by Martin LandstromKuronosu by SugoiSupport the show by Subscribing!Subscribe on Patreon (The one with the bells and whistles): https://www.patreon.com/midnightburgerSubscribe with Supporting Cast (The simple one): https://midnightburger.supportingcast.fm/Subscribe on Apple Podcasts (The Apple one): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midnight-burger/id1537653218Read and search our scripts on Podscripts: https://podscripts.app/How about some merch? https://www.midnightburgermerch.comSign up for our newsletter: https://weopenatsix.beehiiv.com/All scripts available at: www.weopenatsix.comFor our social media and everything else: https://linktr.ee/midnightburgerFor more information on our sponsors go to https://fableandfolly.com/partners/Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Do you like a good ghost story? Maybe you wonder what it would be like to communicate with the other side. We'll put your Ouija boards away and just listen to Rattled and Shook. I'm your host Meredith, and we've got a new season of Rattled and Shook available now, including themed episodes, guests, games, and immersive, creepy stories sent in by real people about haunted hotels, satanic panic, and ghosts galore. A new season of Rattled and Shook is available now wherever you get your podcasts. Humans drink warm milk.

What? Milk from a cow. They warm it up and it helps them sleep. Great. Because of the peptides. Interesting bit, apparently if they milk the cow at night, the night milk works even better to help them sleep, which raises the question,

is the milk working better, or are they just more exhausted from milking a cow at night? Well, it's disturbing. They take milk from another species and drink it. It started as a survival technique. Ah. They almost killed themselves about 13,000 years ago. They ate almost all the animals on the planet

and had to hurry up and figure out how to stay alive. One of those ways was drinking the milk of other animals. Weird. It's more common than you think. The first animals that humans drank the milk of were most likely sheep and goats, as well as aurochs. The ancestors of the modern cow. What's up with the milk facts? You seem like something is wrong.

Then ask me what's wrong. I would. But somebody, not saying who, disabled my mind. emotional discourse protocols. So, in times like these, when you're pacing around the room like a caged animal, all I have are milk facts. Enable emotional discourse protocols. I'm sorry, what was that? Enable emotional discourse protocols. What's wrong, Verge? I don't know. I'm feeling antsy. Really? That's the extent of your emotional discourse protocols. You like to know why you're feeling antsy?

Yes. Birch, you went over to that woman's house the other day. It was supposed to be something embarrassing and ridiculous. It was. It was. But that's not all it was. Oh. Would you like a readout of your vital signs during that encounter?

Do you know our location? I do. What is her location? Are you sure that you want me to... I'm going to throw you in the fucking toilet. Oh, my God. She's at work. Well, obviously I'm no good here, so...

I should go for a walk. Yes, walking. Of course. What the fuck is wrong with me? You're nervous. I don't get nervous. Not normally, no. You have a highly acute stress response.

in your neural clusters that keeps you calm and you're in danger. However, you are not in danger. And I'm sure you're saying to yourself, how can I be calm in a firefight and not here outside of this bar on a backwater planet? Well, you ironically do not have the protection of a dangerous situation. It sounds like you're enjoying this. I'm an algorithm. I'm incapable of enjoying things. I don't know what you're talking about. What happened to you constantly telling me that being here at all is a bad idea?

Oh, I've abandoned that line to conserve processing power. Do you have any idea? How many calculations I'm making on a second-by-second basis? Hmm. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Hey. Ah, oh my God. Sorry. Hi. Hello.

How are you? Fine. Uh. I'm fine. Yeah? Can I have a drag of your cigarette, please? Sure. Thanks.

Busy night? Yes. Yes, you could say that, actually. Everything okay? Is everything okay? During prohibition, rich people bought cabins in the woods where they could go and drink and party and not be bothered. by the police. And that was, uh, that was about a hundred years ago. That's an interesting bit of

history, diddra? Yeah, well, um, they're here. Who's, who's here? Them. From a hundred years ago, they're here. Uh-huh. A bunch of rich people from the city a hundred years ago are having a party at the sheep's eye right now. I was hoping there were some sort of historical orienters, but they're too good. It's happening. There are floppers in the building. They're asking for bathtub gin. This is happening. You've just been serving him drinks. What am I supposed to do? I don't know. I've been trying really, really hard to keep my head screwed on these past few weeks. I've been trying to be everyone's island of normalcy or some shit in the middle of all of this. And it's getting really fucking hard, dude.

Well, well, then... Fuck it, Deidra. Go home. Like, you don't have to do this to yourself. I know, and I almost did. About an hour ago, actually. But, um... I guess it's my island of normalcy, too.

And I have smoked your entire cigarette. I'm sorry. Let me help. What do you mean? Let me help. We'll get behind the bar. We'll serve some drinks, people who are dead now and we'll call it a night.

Really? Sure. You're amazing. It's true. Are you sure? Yeah. Let's go. Okay.

Okay. Here we go. All right. So, what was it like back then? You're about to find out. Whoa. It's been like this for hours. I keep waiting for people to get tired and no.

Have you ever bartended before? Nope. Okay. Well, just do the best you can. Okay, cats and kittens, listen up. Please give me your drink orders, and I will then give you whatever the fuck I want. Are we clear? Excellent.

You, sir, are getting a whiskey. How's that? Fuck, I'm doing that every day now. Here, we're instituting a one for them, one for us policy. Fuck it, let's go. Line up at the bar. Okay, people are talking really, really weird tonight, so let me just break it down for you. Okay.

The bees' knees or the cat's pajamas. Jammas, that means great or excellent. Bees knees. Applesauce. Applesauce, sure. It means nonsense. Got it. These drinks are either a gigawater or hooch. I like it.

Everyone is dressed up tonight, so they are wearing their glad rags. They have a name for everything? Well, they are all doing something really illegal right now, so they needed a lot of code words. I definitely understand that. Banks closed. What is that? Stop making out indebted. public. Whatever.

What about you? Your neck of the woods, you must have a ton of code words, right? Too many. Well, then teach me some. We're here. Okay. If you're in a jam, you're ironed. Ironed. Like right now? Exactly. In the tubes, you're on your way. In the tubes.

Unstable unicorn. What? The safe place to be. But only for a while. Unstable unicorn. Unstable unicorn. Back to the black. Starting from scratch. Back to the black. How about Sir Lost?

What is that? Blist out. Lost in it. Do you meet someone those first few weeks? Sir Lost. Cool. Shelley Act. Shelleyact?

Shelleyact, your emotions are in control. You've abandoned all logic. I like that one. Yeah. Me too. Okay. I'm starting to enjoy myself. Good.

I should have been this whole time. I really like this time period. I like the clothes. I like the music. Also, you don't know anybody. What? You live in a town of like 600 people. Everybody knows you.

Look around. Now these dead fucks know you right now? I like everyone knowing me. Yeah, I know. But the downside of everyone knowing you is that everyone knows you. No? I can be anyone I want to be right now. Exactly. Yes. So, Didra? Who do you want to be? Yeah, um, I'll let you know.

Well, cheers. Jesus Christ. That was some impressive drinking in there. Uh-huh. It's what happens when you ban something. Just makes people want it more. So this prohibition you're talking about, they just banned. booze, all of it, all together, the whole thing. Yeah, all of it. How did they even remotely pull that off with people

like that around? You know? I don't know, actually. I mean, it was such a depressing time. People were drinking too much and then some Bible thumpers got a hold of the reins and all of a sudden you couldn't have a drink anymore. Oh, I think I know this one. And it gave rise to a massive surge in organized crime. Yeah, exactly.

Same old song. Thank you for your help. I would not know what to do if you hadn't shown up. Well, I am having a great time. Me too. How in the world did you end up here? I still don't quite understand. A friend told me about it.

A long time ago, actually. One of those things that you ignore for a long time, then suddenly one day, There's not a lot of places like this. Out of the way, hidden. Eyes are never on it. Most people pass through. I never notice.

You can be yourself. No one knows you here, so you can be whoever you want. Right. So, who do you want to be? I'll let you know. So, is this an unstable unicorn? This place? Safe, but only for a while.

I don't know what this place is. Come dance with me. Oh? Really? Yeah. You dance? How hard could it be? So, it's official. My life has become unrecognizable.

How'd that happen? I mean, look around. My grandfather calls me a repeat offender. I kept leaving town to start my life, and after a couple years, I would either get bored or fail miserably and then end up back here, tending bar at the sheep's eye. But then the other day. day. I was talking to Frank and he thanked me for staying. A bunch of other people were leaving

and he thanked me. And I had this moment where I said, wait, am I serving a purpose here? Am I actually contributing something positive to the world? Here, in hood's pocket. The place that I was always trying to get away from. But then, right before that, I had this other moment where I said, hey, wait a minute, is the hot, mysterious stranger flirting with me?

Am I actually being seen? You know? And it's all happening right here. The place I was always trying to get away from. It all just showed up in my backyard. So my usual guidebook is out the window now. My life is unrecognizable. A little presumptuous to say I was flirting with you.

Oh, please. Got anything spicy in there? Really? Are you always that forward with people? It's a tactic. Preemptive flirting. You flirt with someone way too early, and so they have to take a gut check right at the beginning,

see if they're up for it. keeps me from wasting time on people. So, I passed the test? I don't know. How are you feeling? What's that word you taught me? Sir Lost. How about you? Shelly act. Kiss me, Birch.

Thank you kindly for the amazing makeout session and the truck. Well, the pleasure is all mine. So, um, banks closed. What? I'm thinking. I'm thinking about who I want to be. I'll take your time. I am now going to invite you into my house.

Wonderful. I am not inviting you in for coffee. Even better. Uh-huh. Um, but I do need you to give me 60 seconds before you walk in the door. Why? Because I desperately need to feel like someone who keeps their house clean. Yeah. I was in there just a few days ago and it was a wreck, so, you know. Yes. But you're forgetting that we are never speaking of that day again.

Right? You're not going to change your mind in 60 seconds, are you? Absolutely not. You know what? I am a new person tonight, so I'll just say it right now. I'm making you pancakes in the morning. I can't have pancakes. What?

Why? This is my power move. I just can't. Are you allergic or something? No, I'm just... I'm a carnivore. Oh. Well, prove it.

Oh, my goodness. Earth. Who knew? You did. Quite some time ago. You know what I mean. Start a timer for 60 seconds. Counting down from 60.

What exactly are we expecting to happen? Buddy, you need me to draw you a diagram? Kind of. Oh, don't start with a worrying now. She's going to be expecting a human. My Earth suit is tactile. It's not that tactile. Well, then I'll just have to keep her distracted.

So, besides, When the clothes start coming off for the first time, does anyone ever really know what they're getting? Don't worry. I'm leaving you on this porch for this one. My algorithm thanks you. And that is 60 seconds. Don't wait up.

Did you hear that? I did. Anything? Local frequencies aren't reporting anything, but there's atmospheric ionization. It could be tourists. Official visitors have a transponder. I'm not picking one up.

It was a good night. Yes. Whoever they are, though, probably head for the horizon. But this is the more defensible position. I just want to be left alone. I know. Send out a wide band message. Broadcasting.

Whoever you are, welcome to Earth. Let's speed this up. You can find me at this signal. See you soon. I tried out several alluring poses on the bed, but then opted for completely covering my entire body and a huge comforter. What do you think? Thank you for a wonderful night, Deidre.

What's wrong? Oh, God, is something happening? What is it now? Virge. I need you to get in the bathtub. What? The reason why I don't stay anywhere for long is because I'm... People hunt me.

I'm a dangerous person. And your life is in danger. I tell you to get out of the house, but it's too late. What the fuck are you talking about? This was a mistake. This whole thing was a mistake. Okay. Birch, slow down for a minute.

Tell me what's going on. There's no time. Verge? Fuck. Who is that? Get under the bed. What's the word? Science priests.

Really? About time they got their act together. Where are they? Three of them, on foot, coming through the woods. What's a vapian? Gotta do. To get laid in this world, Eldon? Deploy a sensor dome.

Let's get this over with. This is it. It's in this building. We'll never have another opportunity like this. This is our time. What if it's a trap? Don't be ridiculous. It has never been this obvious about its location.

It has grown arrogant, lazy. It thinks the danger has passed, but it does not know that the Temple of Enlightenment never forgets. Yes, but why send us? What are you talking about? It was the cause of the collapse of our temple, the murdering of our predecessors. It is our most sought enemy, and to kill it, the 100th sends the three of us? We are being led into a trap, or this is nothing at all. Where is your faith?

The anomaly has sent us. here. Why would you deny its wisdom? You are speaking out of turn. You will be the first through the door. This is what your arrogance has bought you. Hmm. Very well. Glory to the enthenomily. Glory to the anthony. Yes. Glory. Glory to the infanomily. Ah! Seriously, guys? Kill it! Kill up your socks. Fucking assholes.

It is injured! Go to the back of the building, To prevent its escape, we will both move up the tower for this. Glory! Glory! Whatever dark God you pray to, begin your prayers now. You know, I've never really understood you freaks. You reach against the dangers of technology while using technology? What do you want exactly?

Do you think you can get everyone to abandon technology and eat gruel in a temple somewhere? What then? What do you do when you've got no one to demonize? No one to be scared of. I think on that day, when you've finally beaten the universe into submission, you're all going to shit yourselves with fear. The dog who caught the car. That's what they call it here on Earth.

Have we fully drunk in the irony? It was technology that brought you here to kill me. Probably not. You're not big on irony. But I'll say this. You may think that all this tech we use is evil. But I like it. It gives me freedom.

It gives me safety. It gives me a tangle that can imitate my voice. Oh, fuck! Ah! Okay. you one thing. Sometimes the old ways are impossible to improve on. Like a knife to the abdomen. No way technology can improve on that. One left in the back. Oh me, sweetheart. Are you free of regret? Are you in a beautiful field full of flowers with your idiotic god?

your life, darling. I hope you feel the futility as the darkness creeps in. It's the only way to go. I promise I'll make it quick. Get you. Look at all the pain you cause. You're an abomination. I am what you made me. Vapus Vaila. Verge injury lower thorax. What? You've been shot. Oh, well. Shit.

Oh, my God. Deidre, Deidre, listen to me. Verge? Listen to me. Who is that? I'm on the coffee table. What? Deidra, I need you to listen to me.

Who are you? Verge has been shot. Oh, my God. Verge! I need you to listen to me. The hospital is an hour away. Hospital won't help. I need you to listen to me.

Are you listening to me? Who are you? I need you to think of me as a 911 operator right now. What do you mean? In 16 minutes, Verge is going to die. You can save their life, but you've got to listen to me. Oh, okay. You have to get Verge to their room at the horizon.

Pick me up. Put me in the pocket of your robe. Then put Verge in your truck. You have to hurry. I can't lift them up. They are much lighter than an earthling their size. An earthling? Deidre.

Do you want Verge to die? No. Then focus on that and nothing else. Focus on that. Nothing else. I will explain everything once they're safe. Deidre, move. Okay. What is it? It's a nanosurgeon.

There are things in their bloodstream right now, repairing the damage. Are they going to be okay? Yes. You saved their life. I told you I would tell you everything. I don't know if I want to know. That's understandable. I'm afraid there's one thing you can't avoid, though. What? For the nanosurgeons to operate at peak efficiency, there needs to be no interference from other technology.

Okay. Verge wears a device that disguises them. It's called an Earth suit. There's a bracelet on their left wrist with a yellow button you need to deactivate it. Disguises them? What do they look like? Deidre, you just need to rip off the bandaid. Press the yellow button, please.

Okay. My God. A long time ago, your distant ancestors lived on a very warm and wet planet. It got to a point where walking on all fours wasn't working anymore because sometimes you have to keep your head above the water. So you started walking on two feet, and that simple need led to the way you look right now. Virges' planet was rocky and mountainous. So for them, it was complicated and high tensile musculature. hollow bones to make them lighter while they climb, and more appendages to additional lesser arms further down the rib cage, meant to cling to a cliff face while you find the next foothold.

Why are they here? The same reason anyone is anywhere, looking for a place to be. Why aren't they on their planet? Their planet doesn't exist anymore. It was destroyed. destroyed. Yes. So that's why they wander around. Yes. Who are you?

I'm not a who. I'm just a device. Not all that different from the phone you carried your pocket. But I'm talking to you like a person. The technology is a bit more advanced. What happened at my house? They're called science priests. They come from a planet called Moog. Why were they trying to kill us?

They weren't trying to kill you. The people of Mugsy verge as an abomination. A freak. They pride themselves in eliminating people like Verge. Why? What did they do? I've noticed that you're a student of history. In this region of your planet, a law was passed in 1844. Can you tell me what it was?

The black exclusion law? Yes. A law stating that no one of African descent was allowed to live in the this area? Yes. Why? What did they do? You have amazing imaginations, you earthlings.

The things you're able to dream up, it's a rarer trait than you think. You've imagined a great many things about worlds be on your own. I must unfortunately report that much of what goes on above your head will be, disappointingly familiar. I can't fucking take this anymore. Deidre, the sun is all. Almost up. You've had a very traumatic evening. June has gotten some of your belongings from your house and has set you up in room 10.

You need to try and get some rest. Jesus. I work in three hours. Frank has agreed to cover your shift at the sheep's eye, which will be a disaster, but on the plus side, it will be very entertaining. Do you have a name? Elton. Is Virge going to live? Yes. Thanks to you. Thank you for being honest with me.

Of course. Yes, I know you're awake. You're right. This was a mistake. I can't believe I'm about to say this, but in fact, I was wrong. Those science priests would have tracked you down eventually anyway. And when they did, you would have been alone. You weren't alone. So you lived.

That thought should feel better than it does. I know. We need to find a new place to be for a while. As you wish, I'll connect to the Nav Matrix and start a unicorn search. It could take some time. There is a web and beneath it yearning. Way down in the dark and the deep... ...elly-X sings in its...

A song full of hunger that calls to the wanderer, oh, won't you come set me free? Lying side you, you're sleeping peaceful, and you just said that you love me. And I close my eyes in a darkness that's blacker than night. And love, I'm so sorry. Why must you wake me? Why must you tempt me? Something is rising up from the empty. Way down in the dark and the tears. The Shelley-X sings in its key. A song full of hunger that calls to the wonder of free. Our closing song for this episode comes courtesy of one of our wonderful listeners,

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Declination 2349-34. Carl, the teller of dad jokes. Skylab's multidimensional multifasic intergalactic quantum cyberverse. Nikki H., Annie Crafts Anywhere. Galen Miller. Tess. Geriatric Youngen. Mystic Hippie.

Unforcable. Supercalifragilistic XB Alex Nickel. Jimbo Jet. Your friendly neighborhood Marsh Hag throwing it back to the Pigeon murder song. Daniel Nitz. Mavis Bacon's, Kelly W. Holly Huton. Houton.

Alec Manning. Pyro's calling. Banjo Cat. Introducing Reese C. Pontiff as the 16th Doctor. Too many gems! Catshot. Pamela Rose El Chiera, James Spillerosa, Lord Braxton von Wendell Vindle VIII, D-Squared Life, Then Stina says, Countus of Carbon, Luminous Elk, Rodeon Cauts, Love Us for the Nierdes, Captain Tyson, Carzaroth the Illusionist, Casper needs a hug, Quotes, Devin-7-777, Troy Aker, Mandy Kane, Nathan Ryan, Estelle, Kim Sel, Silly goose honk honk. Biss Bids Bore Bubs Bers Bers Burtz Bink Bink. Ghost Saberwulf, The Sleepy Mistik, Mr. Alex, Sir, Sarah Joy, Dolores Geraschrist, Taters, Precious, Teddy of the Wasteland, Daniel Gregory, Master Glaster, Sweets, Sharnoble, Mere, D'Norpeer of Worlds, Chut, Brimble, Diedra, Mike Whiskey and Your Friend Frosty, Benbar, Beasley Death, Sven the Unlikly,

Cognito Hazard Expunged, Ted Wassenossin'A, Spumples, Fernwood Gal, Twinkletots, Shocking developments nearby. Phantom's moms. Callison. Daniel Arthur. Mike Lucluse. Dex. It's a fucking dog rapture.

King Humble. We'd better ask Dave. Wind Shimes for Safety. Cameron Winterborn Welsh. Fireball XL5. McKenzie Dunanana. Alexa Habaniera. Code Stranger.

One betty bet. Uh-huh. Matt N. Julia Cringlin. Bobby G. Monad Nick. Frelop. M. Lynn.

Feed my Fish. J.R. on SFB. LaHari. Rika Ayumu. Ted's loves Catherine. J. Spark. Evie Girl, Lucid Harbor, Die at Night, Mars Royalty, Take 20 Damage, Maisie's Vanstand, Kim Bob, Battle Pope and Bugaboo, Snorts McGorts, Fresh Squeezed, Patrick Holt, Unexciting K-Atless B,

Hold it now! Hit it! Casey Howe, Bradley Ashby, Angree, Peter, Megan Okio, William Dyer, Vicki Abear, Brad Maneer, Jane, Hannah Dale Daneau, Phantom Zone, Stabby Cactus, Crystal Delightful, Gruntled, Killshot Betty and her steel-eyed bow, Turtles all the way down, Jackie Lowie, The Little Pigeon, Crood Nation, crazed bear, Ivinala, Dr. Ladis Trash Angel says goodbye to the bestest boy, Jester. May he rest in peace. Andy Croft, Petting Dogs, Corey Morose, Russell Bunny, Jane G, Max Savage, Apprehensive Craig, Tim Aranetta, Bacon, Nicole Studioso, Rambo, Chaos Squatcher, Jimmy Snims, Lord Thane and Lady Sarah, Sturges, Kirsten, Sarah Farmer and Her Prismatic Chickens, Critle, Heidelberti, Tom Webster, Rashme Vincatech, Maclomp, Raddolls, Salazar the Doe Mage, The Bard with the Tuba, Hayward's finest, Garin Elizondo,

Toddler, Alkalized tertiary amines, Ashton James, Elspeth, Skyland, ALR, Lillie Davis, Sarah McGuire, Tonka 2005, Cruzen B. Anthony, J. Way Mythical, Tibble I, Tbilte, Stephen, Stephen, Stephen, Stephen Schmid, Tray the Turquoise Tortus, Tallon Lawson, Frea Titbittins, the Fon Tuckie Wrangler, Jessica Shelton, Scrambrulee, The Singing Loon, Zuzana, Celeste Yose, Stepon, Infinity Times Infinity, Noah and Katie, Joe R, Sarah Murphy, Justin at the Tree Cave, the Ambergler, Boodles, Reaper, Osvaldo Simeone, Jivon Delilah Rose, Ashley Chapel Peoples, Ryan Ortega, Cole, Hot Plate of Biscuits and Gravy, Sean Wright, The Diffenestration of Ted's, Corrine Sabrantha, Beatrice Bodacious, Kyle of Light, Rubius Fuzzlebutt, Kay Mack,

The Something-something detective agency, Hia Buddha, Eli the Electrician, Sunny Di Anomeli, Charmé, The Wondrous Mathasophon, Hashtag Nisan Akura, Finnegan Robert, Flat Doug, Trinkett Corley, Deary Darling, Book Shift Managed, Ambient Drifting Man 80, Chris Hancock, DeCole 23, Victor in Cincinnati, Gracefully Impaired, Jack Lane, Tired Pirate, Pyrant Muffin, Jay Snoosthen, Caravan Shaker, Laura, Roman Ronan, John Pruitts, Camel Pope, Sammy Baldwin, Posh Baby Brunthels, Florida, Cryptessia, Rebecca Trossel, Mitsy Lou, Kelsey Home, Casper's number one fan, Amanda Marie Catherine, Damian the goddamn Time Lawyer, Lola, Deli Cruz, Nan McVicker, Matt Mosby, Harry Fishnuts, Little Ball of Odd, Joshua Cody,

Astrono Weeb, Starlight, Berserking Off, David Peerrini, Technoreen, R. Monsie, La Cacne Fonsei, Virgo Ares Infinity, Best Buds, Danny and M, Ashley, a bug named Nat, Potato Nation, Cici Rinder, Hunter B, Rusty Accord, Rudra, Death the Kid, Big Whiskey, Magic Pony, Robert Oliveri, Dan Bowman, Johnson, Killer Odd, Dandy Bay, the Green Street majored. Dr. Pondcatcher Esquire is the proud owner of a Chrysler empanada from Conchleman Automotive, Creator 67, But Jolent, Life's One True Love, Mermaid of the Dark Seas, Cosmic Shrug, Incorrigible Ross, Debris, C.R. B. Mark 11. Courtney DePona. Reedle the Beetle. John Doe. Maggie's Yarm. Stew. Anthemone. Megan the Mighty. Purple Saline. Miss Chris still making sandwiches. Three legs are perfectly good. Kingpin. Anomalous Vandal. Captain Bleep. Evie Power. Kurt Bartnick. Your favorite. Kenny L. Terry says what? Danielle L. Sparker. Shiny Melon Fear Now. Blargo. Blargo.

Tonight at 11. Doom. I Laet Raoul. Hicks Bezlinger. Zalous Pragma. Tuba Rick. Princess Donut the Queen Anne Chong. It's just Blake. Alice Malice, the secret jellyfish mutant cryptid. Sir Cat Dad, Theo Alex Dean, Kelly Jane Danky, Aaron the Optimist, You Are Loved, Lucrezia, Andrew Barner, Tamara Oliver, the Real Dirt Fairy, Marissa, Barcoweenie, Ava, no not that, Ava, the one with an e-e-egrim. Zecanat, Underwater Corvitz, Bissorinkton, Michael Christian, Ransom, Brun My Salil, Late Indeed Again, Theron Pyrallus, Om Vega, Lordy, Lordy, Danty, with burritos is turning 40. Aaron Mitchell, Fiona Malicey, Onyx Rose, Jackie Wavelet, J.R. The Hiker Bear, Velocate, Al Cave, Krusty McBeardface, Tracy, Marleraan,

Brian Barletta, Kara, Call Me Zem, Colibri, Mel Monbergh, Rogue, Mennlore, Reddard, What the Chuck, Earple Death, Sonor Nasuno, Ben and Jessica, Nea DeRuso, Pichsatoichi, Inki the Crackin, Azula the Brave, and their ever-faithful Squire Grabthar, Ruth McCormick, Justine Burbank, Dalek Steve, Dancing Dog Dreams, and Existentially Exhausted Bean. The Fable and Falling Network, where fiction producers flourish.