Midnight Burger - Young Leif Part 3: Verge

Episode Date: February 28, 2023

"You want to be in the mess with me?"Cast:Evan Gulock as LeifLauren Grace Thompson as BertBertCat Blackard as VergeFinlay Stevenson as AliceWritten and Directed by Joe FisherMusic by FreeschaProduced by Joe Fisher and Finlay StevensonSupport the show by Subscribing! Subscribe on Patreon (The one with the bells and whistles): https://www.patreon.com/midnightburger Subscribe with Supporting Cast (The simple one): https://midnightburger.supportingcast.fm/ Subscribe on Apple Podcasts (The Apple one): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/midnight-burger/id1537653218 How about some merch? https://www.midnightburgermerch.com Sign up for our newsletter: https://weopenatsix.beehiiv.com For our social media and everything else: https://linktr.ee/midnightburger For more information on our sponsors go to https://fableandfolly.com/partners/  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to Radio Rental. The scariest stories you've ever heard in your life, all told by real people. Oh, and off we go. On one side of me, I have these people whispering to each other, staring at me, and then the other side I have this distaste man gurgling. I was afraid that something was trying to trick me and lure me down there,

and I had no idea what I would feel. find if I walk down to that pond. Zach, there are people outside the room talking. Radio Rental is available now. Listen for free on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm fine. Number one cause of death in space is hyperventilation. There's no way the number one cause of death in space is hyperventilation.

Not the hyperventilation. But what comes after? Do you know what comes after? Spitballing here. It's one thing... We object to the terminology, good as new. Message from Bert, Bert. Would you like to hear it?

What the hell does she want? Maybe she wants to warn you about the dangers of extra vehicular repairs in deep space. Play the message. Just leaving a new tech expo on Earth, and I thought I'd send you a message. I should probably respond in case I'd die. Oh, now you take precautions.

Hey there, Bert. So, first thing, someone who said it was impossible, I promised not to lord that over you to had to learn how to very helpful choose from anything in the sky. Unsized particles that block out some of the gendas, I like that you have agendas. It keeps me on my toes. You have a chance to do that. Because as I talk to you on the outside of my ship, trying to fix a broken thruster. Hey, Burt, Bert, Bert. Alice has convinced me that my last message may have been a bit traumatizing and that it was mean of me to send it.

You're welcome. So, here I am sending you another one. I'm fine. We didn't blow up. But... We did have to do a bit of a crash landing of sorts on a nearby planet, though. Nothing to worry about. We just need a new core stabilizer. The ship is in dry dock right now being repaired, and we should be up and running in a few hours. Let me get everything sorted here, and I'll call you in a few days, okay? Bye.

There, you happy? So, your first message was mean because it was too honest. And that one was mean because it was full of lies. It's fine. This is a deserted planet. Your ship is not in dry dock? We'll be fine. How?

exactly? I don't know. I like this stuff. I just crash landed on a deserted planet in my spaceship. I like it. I like having problems to solve. I feel a little weird when I don't have a problem to solve. Do crossword puzzles.

Don't worry about it. We'll be fine. What do we know about this planet? DD 263. That's not very poetic. What does the DD stand for? Developmental designate. If something has a DD on it, it's been targeted for development by the TEDs.

Developed into what? It means at some point they're going to turn the nearby star into a warp gate. They designated it at D.D. to keep any settlements from popping up. They can just do that? They can. I guess that's not so bad. This place looks pretty dead anyway. Whoa!

Shit! Uh, hi. Hi. I thought this planet was deserted. Me too. So, what are you doing here? What are you doing here? Dish.

Dish. Nien. Vapas via. Hi. Didn't we do this already? I'm life. Okay. What's in the crates?

Hmm. What crates? The crates you're leaning on right now? I don't see any crates. There's like five of them. I don't see any crates, and neither do you. Oh. Oh, are you doing crimes?

Who the fuck are you? I'm life. And what the fuck are you doing here? Fresh landed, just over that ridge. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Do you see those two rocks up on the ridge?

Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you no need to point that at me. I am not convinced. I'm just a guy, I promise. I'm trying to conduct some business. Then my ride doesn't show. Then some random guy, quote, unquote, crash lands right after that. I think I've got all kinds of reasons to point this at you.

Just a coincidence, I swear. Do I look like the kind of guy that needs a gun pointed at it? them. Everyone has a reason to have a gunpoint at them. That's an interesting perspective. Look, see, unarmed. No weapons on me. Okay?

What are you doing in this system? It was the closest place to crash land. I was sightseeing. I wanted to get a look at Barnard 68. At what? The nebula. Who the fuck calls it Barnard 68? Earthlings.

I'm from Earth. There are so many parts of your story that are unbelievable. I don't even know where to start. Don't I look like an earth thing? What kind of gun is that? What's wrong with your ship? Bad core stabilizer. Really?

Is it a plasma gun? Well, it's not a haird dryer. Is it time to stop pointing that gun at me yet? What kind of ship? A Truscan Selig. Are you kidding? What? Did you steal it from a museum?

What are you talking about? It runs great. You just crash landed. There's a few kinks. Hmm. There's an earth word. Destiny? Sure.

Do you believe in it? No. Me neither. But I'm on a deserted planet. Without a ship. Your ship. Crashlands here. You've got a bad core stabilizer.

And I'm standing here with five crates of... Guess what? What? No way. Core stabilizers? It's true. What are the odds of that? Honestly, pretty good.

Core stabilizers go out all the time. That's why they're in such high demand. And why they fetch such a good price on the black market? I don't know what you were talking about. Yeah. Okay. I'll put one of these core stabilizers in your ship if you take the rest of them where they need to go. Deal.

Deal. Nice to meet you, Leif. What's your name? Don't worry about it. The fuck did an Earthling get-off world. I'm a crafty guy. I figured it out. You figured it out. Yeah.

Your people pat themselves on the back when they go to their moon a few times. But you figured out interstellar travel. I mean, how hard is it really? Oh, whatever. So where are you from? Seriously. What? Nothing.

I'm not from anywhere. Everybody's from somewhere. Not me. Where are we headed? Red's rectangle. What's that? That's where the buyer is. Who's the buyer?

You don't worry about it. I need to make some changes to your system. I don't know if I'm comfortable with that. It's fine. How do I know if it's fine? I'm on board the ship. Why would I do something? something to fuck it up.

Whoa, whoa, hello. Hi, who are you? I'm Alice. Hi, Alice. Don't worry, I just need to make some changes to your scan profile. Altering a scan profile is pretty illegal though. Oh, that's cute. It's only illegal if you get caught. I don't think that's how laws work.

It's going to be fine. Laif? Is this okay? What's a scan profile? It's an inventory list. inventory list. It's generated automatically and uploaded when you pass through a warp gate. Right now, it says there are five crates of core stabilizers on your ship, and I'm changing that, and it's fine. Hang on. What?

We're about to break the law. Maybe. A little. I broke the law sometimes when I was a kid. There's a line you cross. When you cross that line, you go from being someone who isn't told anything to someone who's told everything. I'm about to cross that line with you, so I think it's time for me to know everything. Okay. Sure. What do you want to know? What's your name? I've already got my core stabilizer, and I'm pretty sure you're not going to take it back while we're in deep space. Verge.

Okay. Nice to meet you, Verge. What else? Where are you from? I wasn't being cagey. I'm not from anywhere. Everybody is from somewhere. I'm a vapian.

Do you know what that means? No. Vapians don't have homes. We're roamers. Oh, you're like a hobo. What the fuck is a hobo? You carry all your possessions with you, up in a handkerchief. You hop on the nearest train and go wherever it takes you.

You're a free spirit. No one can tell you what to do. That sounds real fucking stupid. No, I'm not a hobo. Lave. Well, it doesn't sound so bad. I guess I'm a bit of a roamer myself these days. It suits me.

What else? What do you do for fun? Fun. Yeah. Okay. We're about to commit a crime and you say, you say you need more information and you say the information that you need is what I do for fun? Yeah. Nothing.

You do nothing. I'm busy. You know you're presented with a unique opportunity right now. And what? What is that? A stranger. Me. I'm getting the sense that you're a little standoffish.

Don't give away a lot. Uh-huh. Call me crazy. After this is over, you never have to see me again. Given the size of the universe, you probably won't. That means you can tell me whatever you want. No one will ever know. Uh, fine.

Okay. I like sailing. Really? Yes. That's surprising. Why is that? It... It feels free. And I like freedom.

It also feels terrestrial. And I don't get enough of that. Because you're always in space? For the most part. When do you have time to go sailing? Well, um, I've, um, I've actually never been sailing. So you imagine that someday, when you're allowed to have fun, that's the thing you'll do? Yes.

Okay. I like baseball. Okay. Great. Um, can I make the changes now? Sure. How'd you get into a life of crime? There's only so many jobs out there.

There's always work at the post office. Um, can you keep the Earth references, like, to a minimum? Sure. Usually, when people hear I'm from Earth, they have a bunch of questions for me. No. Not me. Are you sure? You may never get this chance again. You don't shut up, do you?

Part of my charm. All right. Veronica Lake. Veronica Lake. What about Veronica Lake? Did you ever meet her? No. I mean she was a little before my time.

Right. I forgot. You people don't live long. We don't? No. You didn't know that? No. Compared to what?

Compared to just about. every other race in the triad? Earthlings don't live long. How long do you live? I don't know how it translates. Alice, what's the average lifespan of a vapian in Earth years? The average lifespan of a vapian in Earth years is 342 years. See?

Shit? You're right. It is easy to talk to you. But it's not because you're a stranger. It's because I know you'll be dead soon. Fair enough. I guess I better get busy. With what?

With life. Let's do some crimes. Sure. Okay. Trusk and beer. Seriously. I like it. Trusk is nice.

Have you ever been? Oh, I'm not welcome on Trusk. Let me guess. You're wanted for some sort of crime? I'm not welcome on Trusk because I'm a vapian. They don't like us? Why? Oh, I don't know.

Don't I seem nice? You do. So, the buyer is probably here right now, biding his time. He's probably watching us and keeping us waiting. Why is he doing that? To establish dominance. That's what I would do. So I should just keep it cool.

Yes, Leif, keep cool. Great. This is a good chance for us to get to know each other. The long ride, in your ship, wasn't enough? I didn't need that detailed explanation of baseball. You'll only get it once. Good. Hey, I have a question.

The dark nebula I was looking at, I call it Barnard 68. Yeah, why do you call it that? We name things after the people that discover them. Well, that's boring. I agree. What do you call it? Cheleac. Okay.

Where does that come from? Oh, it's an old vapian myth. Inside every vapian is a shell. A flesiac. A beast. It's frozen inside you. And the more you lose control of your emotions, the more the shelliac thaws. If it ever thaws completely, it takes over. And you'll never have control of your body again. You'll have to spend the rest of your life as a spectator in your own body. Unable to stop the chaos, but forced to watch it all happen. Yeesh. So don't push me, all right? There's not actually a small frozen animal inside you, right?

No, idiot. It's a metaphor. Okay, sorry. How am I supposed to know that? You know, there's a third reason why it's interesting to talk to you. Oh, yeah? It's not just because you're a stranger, and it's not just because you're going to be dead soon. It's because you're an earthling, and you don't know. Anything.

I know a few things. While you're sitting there with your Truskin beer, I'm drinking a bottle of wine from Feston. Do you know why? Because you're a wine person? You don't seem like a wine person. I saw you as a more of a vintage cocktail person. Because I can order the entire bottle and open it myself.

Because if I do that, then I know nobody's messed with my drink. Isn't that a little bit of? Paranoid. Aha, to you. It would seem that way because you're an earthling that doesn't know anything. But what I know is that sometimes bartenders will spit in the drink of a vapian. You don't know that most races wouldn't be caught dead having a drink with a vapian at a bar. It's not just the Truskins that don't like us.

Well, I can't imagine what all that's about. I like you. You don't know me. You seem delightful We've known each other for several hours And you've only pulled a gun on me once Well It's not just me

It's all of us People don't like vapians Where does that come from? It's a long story Here we go What? The buyer He's I-Dus and is making his way across the bar Are you ready?

Yeah Okay. Hey, make me a promise. What? If this works out, let's get real drunk and you tell me why everybody hates you. Yeah, all right. Excellent. Mission accomplished.

I wonder if that guy knows he paid three times the going rate. Desperation is great when you get rich from it. I don't want to say rich, but it was a good day. I like that place. Are all your deals there? No. And that reminds me, you probably shouldn't show up there for a while. Why not?

You'll get something along the lines of, aren't you the one who is hanging out with that vapian? And probably other stuff, people won't talk to you. Hey, yeah. You never got around to that part. How come everybody hates you? I'm having a great time. Yeah.

Hey, Alice. How come everybody hates vapians? Antipathy toward the Vapian race began when their planet was destroyed while performing a controversial experiment involving time crystals. Your fucking planet was destroyed? In the experiment, the planet of Vapis 10 was collapsed into what is now known as the first and only artificially created black hole. Your fucking planet turned into a fucking black hole? Billions were killed instantly, including one point. million visiting from other systems.

The planet of Vapas 10 was positioned in the middle of several trade routes that were no longer viable. And creating new travel routes was incredibly time-consuming and expensive. The only vapians to survive were the citizens that happened to be out of the system at the time of the collapse. I was a baby. On vacation with my parents. The remaining vapians were reviled from. for the loss of life and resources that occurred due to the collapse. Though this occurred 100 Earth years ago,

the animosity toward the Vapian race persists. Fuck. I grew up in a temporary refugee camp on a planet that could barely support life. When I finally got out, I found myself in a universe where everyone hates me. No surprise that a lot of us wound up being criminal. I enjoyed hang out with you, Leif. This is the first time that someone didn't assume who I was before they met me.

But it's going to cost you. Maybe I should have warned you about that ahead of time. I enjoyed hanging out with you, too. I don't give a shit what it cost me. It was worth it. So if you wouldn't mind, I need a ride to Traxis. I usually hole up there until I can figure out my next move. What's on Traxis?

Not much. It's got an unstable orbit, so most people stay away. It'll collide into another planet any time now. But until then, a few people manage to make it a good hideout. And then? Then it's on to the next job. I can take you there, no problem. Sounds like something to see. On Earth, we call it a centaur.

Or... What? I mean Life I've got a brand new pair of roller skates You got a brand new key Oh my god, what the fuck are you talking about I have a ship

I have a ship and you know people So I don't work with the partner buddy I get it, I get it Lone wolf keeping it simple That's the way I've always done it Here's the thing Earthlings evolved from fish

Where is this going to go? Our whole world was the water. But then one day some weird fish said, Hey, what if it's not? And then suddenly we weren't in the water anymore. Am I the fish in this analogy, or are you the fish? We are both collectively the fish. Leif, I don't think you know what you're getting into.

It's a mess. out there. It's a mess everywhere. I think it's important who you're in the mess with, don't you? And you want to be in the mess with me? I think I'd like that. Me too. Good. It's a deal. I feel like this is a big moment. Well, we'll see how big a moment it is, huh? We should seal the deal. How do Vapians seal a deal? Is there a, like a ceremony? There's several ways, yeah. Okay. Let's pick one.

Okay. Is there a bedroom on this ship? It's in the back? Okay. That's one way. See you in a bit. Hey, Alice. Remember when you told me you're always listening?

Yes. I think I'll disable that function for a while. Good call. Thank you. Going Dark. Music from Young Leaf comes from the album Kids Fill the Floor by our dear friends Frisia. Their music is available to stream on all platforms and is available for purchase on bandcamp. So please do all of those things.

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