Might Delete Later - BONUS with Stevie and Gina

Episode Date: August 13, 2020

Stevie is spiralling about her tweets doing badly, Gina is getting intellectual revenge on DMs from exes. For this bonus episode ahead of series 2, the cohosts look at their best and worst social media posts (since episode one) and read out some cringey first posts sent in by listeners.  👉🏼Remember you can find all posts discussed on Instagram @mightdeletelaterpod and we're on twitter too @mightdeletepodFollow Gina on Instagram @ginamartin and Twitter @ginamartinukFollowing Stevie on Instagram @5tevieM and Twitter @5tevieMWant to help us make more episodes? Support Might Delete Later at https://supporter.acast.com/mightdeletelaterHosted by Gina Martin and Stevie Martin.Photo by Joe Magowan.Artwork by Zoe Harrison.Recorded and edited by Naomi Parnell.Produced by Plosive Productions.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/mightdeletelater. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you love Might Delete Later? I bloody hope you do. You can support our show by using the new ACS supporter feature. It's up to you how much you give and there is no regular commitment. Just smash that link in the show description and support us now so we can keep making this podcast. Thank you. Hello and welcome to a bonus episode of My Delete Later. It's a Bone Bone Epp.

I've read that in the script. We sometimes write a little fun intro and I wrote Bone Bone Eppepep, very very very. very late on. I'm Stevie Martin, a person who feels social media is a big bad wolf. And me, Gina Martin, who feels it is Red Riding Hood Little Basket. Look, I think that's very good. Our guest today is someone that I've known for a long time. Ever since I saw her come out of my mother, I'm joking, I actually didn't see that. It's Gina. We're doing, it's just going to be us this episode. Yes. So our second guest is someone I met 28 years ago, and shortly after she asked mom if she could marry me while we were bathing.

It is, of course, my favourite comedian, an absolute idiot who I want to crush and put on a cracker. Stevie Meredith Martin. You can tell who's a more affectionate one in our relationship. I haven't ever released my middle name, and I'm horrified that that's just occurred. We thought that going forward with the podcasts, we were going to do a feature at the start of each episode

where we would discuss what's going on with our social media and things that we would like to bring up and talk about with each other. But before we do that, you thought, why not just check in halfway through the break? So please do follow us at Might Delete LaterPod on Instagram and at Might Delete Pod on Twitter. We discussed a lot of things today. It got quite deep. It did, yeah, it did. And the post that we discussed, you can also find on there too. So for series two, we've very brutally murdered Follow-on-Follow Block, and it's going to be going online only so you can see. all the guests doing on follow up. What will they say? You can go to our Instagram and watch that,

but you won't be able to listen to it on the actual podcast. Instead, we're going to get extra con con con. A little extra extra con con. We're going to add a little feature at the start where we basically checking with each other social media. I want to say journeys, but that will make me die. So I'm going to say vibes, which is only slightly less worse. Yeah, we're just going to ask each other what's in our drafts each week. So like what's on your mind? What's going on in your head about your social media feed? For example, Stevie, what is in your draft? Okay, I've got one. So during lockdown, I was obviously doing more online content because I had nothing else to do. And I started a Twitch, uh, the weekly Twitch stream, which is like an

online, uh, hour long improvised book club where me and a guest talk about a book that we've literally just made up on the spot. Um, it's really fun. It's actually the best thing ever. That's very kind to do that. I'm obsessed with it. Everyone has to go and watch it. It's such a great concept and it's so silly. I love it. 8 p.m Thursdays, Twitch.tv. 4.com. Atst, TV, MBS is a 5. There's no app either.

Yes, anyway, I've done this Twitch stream, and I've basically been doing like sketches online and stuff. And also, by sort of coincidence, I had a couple of tweets go viral. Maybe like four over a time. And each time that happens, well, I've got like a surge in followers.

I have a lot more followers than I did when we started this series. and I also am a lot more involved now online and on Twitter because I have to be because of the Twitch thing and all of this. Essentially, I've just discovered that it's like, this is the thing that's in my draft, all of those things like are very much public knowledge. But like, the thing is, is that the whole aim, the whole aim of Twitter,

the whole aim of Twitter, you feel, it's like a subconscious aim. is it's all based on numbers, isn't it? So even if you're like, I don't want loads of followers, well then each tweet, you sort of do, don't you? You sort of kind of, you can't help it. And even, and you kind of can't help thinking like, well, what would it be like if, every time I tweeted it got like, at least, I don't know, 100 or 200 or 300 or 1,000,

whatever your number is, likes or whatever. And it makes you, you can't help but equate it with success because that's how the entire platform is built to make you feel. And also the entire world, you've been taught since you're a kid that numbers heightening equal success. You've got marks in school. You've got, it's literally numbers higher mean success. And why would your brain think this is any different?

Yeah, definitely. Otherwise, you know, we'd all just be like little Twitter eggs. And we wouldn't really tweet and we'd just look at other people's tweets. I mean, have a tweet. And that's fine. But what I'm saying is if you are kind of engaged in it, then you're engaged in it. And it sort of takes on a kind of narrative of like,

oh well I'm I guess I'm hoping to get in quotation marks better at it and then I sort of I suppose did get not in massive quotation marks better at it in the terms of like some of my tweets did well and every time it happened like I'd get so excited for like half an hour and be like oh my god this is amazing and then I would feel every time I'd feel incredibly hollow like a dead tree and very like I didn't really know it to do it. themselves and also also very silly. What happens next type feeling? Like what is there next? And why

why was I excited when that happened? And also this is very silly. It's that like classic thing isn't it where it's like nothing that you actually want when you get to it is ever as good as you think it's going to be? Yes and also as well then you get your more in like the moment you see something do you a little bit well you kind of you're further in now. So now I'm like why is that tweet not done well then?

Yes. So like I did a... You set the bar higher for yourself, I guess. I did an absolute, what I thought was an absolute banger of a tweet. Give it to me. I will, quite close after the viral one. What was the viral one?

Tell our listeners. I've got a few. Was it about bread again? No, it wasn't about bread again, which was actually it. So I had sort of two quite close together. One was, hey, did anyone else buy clothes during lockdown? So they'd emerge as a new person,

but now I can't wear any of them, because the clothes are, for example, insane. That did very well. And then one went properly viral, which was a picture of my tortoise eating weeds on a slate. They were all done kind of nice. And I put like, sometimes on a Friday I arrange my tortoises weeds on a slate.

So it's a fancy dining experience. And that got like 20,000. And like, you know, we're not talking like 100 million thousand, but like enough that it's like, oh, God, okay. That is viral. That is viral. That is viral. And then I did one which I thought was like quite a funny one.

And this is the problem with the viral things. It's why it's in my drafts. Astandard to find HSBC stands for Hong Kong and Shanghai Banking Corporation and not Herman's Sexy Bank Club. I think that's way funnier. I know. Way funnier. And it got like 80 likes.

And I was like, well, look, I would, why am I like, oh, I didn't do very much? Like, why am I bothered? And it makes you bothered when you weren't bothered before. So that was my little thing I want to say. Like, if you're kind of thinking, like, well, I know, my tweets never do. do numbers and it's always rubbish. Well, to be honest, like it's, of course, you kind of can't help but want that, but it's,

it's a bit of an odd feeling when it happens and then nothing really happens. I've just got like a few more followers, but it doesn't mean that all my tears do well. A bit more pressure to be funny every time or do the same thing every time. If you're not doing your tweets for being funny, I read a thing about trauma and how like if you are consistently, if you

do very well on Twitter because you suddenly like had a very traumatic experience, then suddenly like people aren't responding to you when you're not talking about your trauma, experience and you're like, am I only supposed to talk about trauma for you to like, like engage? That makes me relevant online is me oversharing my trauma and it's like, what, that's not a healthy space to be in. Because you remove the, you remove the level of choice then. The level of choice of what you share is removed in some way, which makes it really

murky. Yes, very murky. Isn't that what Stormsy says at the beginning of all the songs? I was just about to say, as I said murky, I was like, I don't want to say murky anymore because it sounds like I'm trying to be cool, but I actually just meant murky with a you, not a. I just love Stormsy Let's do a podcast about him What's in your draft this week? Oh my God, I'm so glad you asked. Okay.

I do this thing on Instagram which is called Vitamin P and it started at the beginning of lockdown because I didn't really know how to help during the pandemic So I just thought well, I'll put some content up That just makes people feel good Because everyone is feeling bad And that's the anything I actually knew about the pandemic I felt like there were so many hot takes of like

Normally with viruses and so no one knows anything So let's just take a backseat if we don't, if we're not an epidemiologist or whatever. I know that I like dogs. Yeah, exactly. I know that I like dogs. I know it like animals. I know I like humanity at its best. So let's just look at some nice things.

So I did that. And I did it every day. I did it every day since middle March. So I guess every day for about three months. Do you want to just explain? It's a collection of TikTok videos. Such a good point. Yeah, it's a collection of like roundup of the best stuff on TikTok.

And it's just all this lovely. content that makes you smile. And vitamin P, it was a dose of positivity for your day, I guess, and P sounds for positivity, and I was doing it. And then recently, I started to get some more work and stuff, and I just hadn't had any work or, like, any reason to get up out of bed, really, for the past since March. So it was like, okay, well, now my day is being filled up with stuff I need to actually do that I haven't responsible for, and I started selling some of my art and stuff. So it was like, oh, I do have the time. And I realized that I was kind of staying up to like 1 a.m to post Fitman P.

Like I need, I have to get this weasel video out or or else I'm a bad person. And then around the time where I was like, oh, I'm saying up really late to do it. I started, I basically came to the end of my tether with messages I was receiving. Most of the messages are just people being like, this is amazing, it makes me really happy. But I was getting too many messages from people which were basically saying, reacting to any given TikTok. So say there's one of a baby being swaddled and someone was like, can you please not promote this method of swaddling. Like, it's really dangerous for the baby and sending me

like medical papers. And then someone else was like, can you please not share videos of people who own exotic animals? And there's like someone who has a bird. And then I was like, can you please not show examples of like wildlife near humans? Can you please not show? But it literally got to the point where some of them were like, I think someone's trolling me. Like, someone was like, you shouldn't feed your dog that. So can you play? It was cheese. So can you please not post a video? The assumption is that anything I post I promote. So any which, any way in which, people are living, acting, drinking, swaddling, feeding in any of those videos. It's me being like, make sure we do this to your dog.

It's not, obviously. Make sure you swaddle your dog. So I basically posted a video being like, hi guys, hi everyone. I know most of you love vitamin P and it's a very small percentage of you that send these messages, but if you have a problem with content, please send that message to the person who makes the content. Actually, I wouldn't even recommend that because if you see something on the the internet that isn't actually hurting people, then just move along. But if you really need to, contact them. Not me. It's not that deep. It's just fun videos.

And I guess, like, in that moment, I lost a bit of my love for it. So I wanted to continue doing it because I thought, like, you know, when you're in school and, like, the naughty kid ruins it for everyone. And then, like, no one's allowed the snacks at lunchtime. I don't know, like something like that. And then you're like, oh, I didn't complain and I love it. Why don't I get the snacks? It's thinking like that about all my followers who love it. So continue posting it. And then this week I've been trying to like, I don't know, be a better human and go to bed early and look after myself a bit more. And in doing so, you know, it gets a sort of 10 and I'm like in bed and I've got my pseudacrum on my spots. I've got my little sockies on.

You've got your little napi on for when you have an accident. I've swaddled Jordie. I fed a dog some cheese. And I'm like, it's time for bed. And then the lights go out and my brain goes, you didn't do bit and pee. Oh my God. And me three months ago would have got up and done it. Yeah.

And me now is, you know what? Like, it's really important to bring people joy and I love. And I genuinely fucking love doing it. But it's like if I need to not do it, I'm not going to do it. And previously I would have probably put a message up saying, I'm really sorry. But I got a message from someone I posted about not doing it. And this girl said, love Vittman P, but love more that you're just going to bed early

and you don't feel guilty for not posting it because you're looking after his life. And I was like, yes. Also, if someone is like freaking out because you haven't posted vitamin P for one day, then actually they really do need to do a lot of work on themselves. Or just get TikTok, really? Just, well, yeah, exactly. I was posting a seal picture every day throughout lockdown.

And when, it's the seal of the day. And when I don't, I get really panicky and I can't find a seal. And the amount of times my boyfriends be like, what's wrong? And I've been really tense. I'd be like, oh, it's because I can't find a seal. Why is leafing through seal books all day? stupid and that is the you got to keep an eye on that because that's that's like the attitude towards what you know what you're very aware of your audience and that's a really

good thing but you there is that you can be that it can't be the detriment to yourself and your own life that's the thing and I think now it's my in my draft says I don't feel bad about not posting vitamin P every day when I get around to it I'm really glad everyone enjoys it but I also have other things I need to do and that's okay that's really quick So you sent us, and by you, I mean listeners, sent us your first post and also some like embarrassing ones as well that aren't your first ones. Essentially, we're just going to use this little section to read out some of you, our favourites that you have sent us. Yes.

Thank you so much. And please do send more to Mike Delete Laterpod.com. We've had lots of messages on Twitter and on Instagram at Might Delete Later Pod and at Mike DeletePod. I'm going to start with one of my favourite ones we were sent. This one is a pretty funny. What, sorry? Pretty funny. Right. And it reminds you of the kind of things I would do when I was like a small, a small 18-year-old and was like, I'm going to do big things and you're all going to see it.

Rose Howard. Hi, Rose. Sent her first Facebook post or one of her first Facebook posts to the, it makes me laugh. And I might delete it upon Instagram. It's on the first December. 2010 and she just wrote, some writing about your own experiences. And then a heart.

But you know the tumbler heart with like the little, what's the side triangle called and the three? Oh yeah. It's like a more than or less than triangle that means in math. And it's clearly like the, it's just that thing where you're like, I'm songwriting, I'm creating.

And you guys need to know that. And it's just so sincere. Guys, can you just like stop asking me about it because it's not a big deal? I'm just trying to create. I love that so much. I'd be short. We put in words in Rose's mouth about her own tweet, Facebook.

Yes. But that's how I felt when I used to Facebook. Say it's things like that. Of course. That's how I felt too. And also as well, that was, you know, it was your own little scrapbook of life. And you were presenting yourself. Like, so you wanted to present a more creative or cool version of yourself.

Rose said, when she sent this message, she said, Just listen to your first episode, lovely by the way. I was inspired to scroll back like 10 years on my Facebook. And I'm crying. It's fucking hilarious. This one like. It's got one like by Alicia Boxel. So Alicia was really.

supporting Rose back in the day. Maybe she was like a big time music producer, okay? Oh my God, who knows? What we haven't found out is actually Rose got a record deal off the back of a Facebook status. It's so sad that that doesn't happen. That's just not a thing that could really happen. I know. And also, I do remember, and I don't think we've mentioned it on the podcast before, that when Facebook status is first started, everything was like your name and is. So it'd be Stevie is, Stevie is. And so you had to like grammatically change it and going to be like, okay I guess another hard day of trying to

make this sentence fit in with the grammatical Stevie art in. And then it wasn't there and I was like I could literally start and I think I still started it with my own name because I was like I don't know what I can't want to do but it was a real moment. It's like I can start this with any word

I can say whatever I want. What a time. Free speech. Free speech. I've got one here. We've got a message from George. Thank you so much George and their first tweet was, well, I'll just, I'll just read what they've written. My first tweet was to Ashton Cutcher. He said he was going on a diet and I tweeted back, sounds like a good idea, any tips? And then the colon and a P. So it's like, it's like a little like little sideways man sticking his tongue out. Using that very emoji. Also, I think I might

have tweeted Demi Moore too. And I think that was a real kind of like, Ashton's going to get back and be like, hey George, here's some tips. We're going to chat diet. it. But you did feel like, you were like, oh my god, somebody's like right here and they have an account and I have an account. So it's just like MSN chat. We could just chat. The thought of me being aged like 16 and Brandon Flowers from the Killers being accessible

like that is terrifying for him. Like he thought of what, I mean, I would have definitely just, you know, like I would have done one of those accounts that you look at and it's called like Brandon Flowers is babes or something and it's like like a fan account like a directioner yeah um and it would just what would brandon flowers his direction as quote unquote be like the flower patch or something like that the flower patch oh it be then you flower the flower girls obviously the flower girls and then there'd be loads of videos of you on tumbler like picking apart flowers like he loves me he loves me not it'd be such a vibe I'm coming out of my car and I've been doing just fine you're coming out of your car oh my gosh

That's not the living. Coming out of my car and I've been doing it. My cage, you weirdo. Whenever I was younger, I thought it was coming out of my cave. So when I found I was coming out of my cage, that was a real blow. And now, all these years later, it's devolved into, I'm just sort of getting out of my car and I've been doing just fine. What boring song. Boring song.

She's about someone going to think the mechanics. Desco. All right. Okay. I've got another one. Another post we were sent in. God, that was great. I don't know.

think about that for a long time. So this is quite a special one. If anyone follows Henry J. Gara on Instagram, formerly Drawings of Dogs. He's an incredible illustration. He's an incredible illustration, actually, which is amazing. He's an incredible illustrator. He does wholesome memes on social justice themes.

And he sent in his first post, which if you've seen his illustrations now, it's amazing because they're very colourful and he's got very specific style. And he sent his first one, which is, I'm showing Stevie on Zoom now, but you can look at this on the might delete later on Instagram. Look, it's, look at the drawing.

It's his first ever drawing. It's a little line drawing of a dog. What is the dog saying? It's Father's Day card for my papa starring Billy, Billy's Henry's dog. And the dog saying, I swear to God, you say, you like a stick one more time, you can go get it yourself, dickhead. Excellent.

He's like his first ever illustration. It's so lovely to see like where he's gone from there. So I thought that was quite a nice one. That is, it's very, very heartwarming. Okay, so we've got another one. This one is from Lucy, who is, yes, Lucy Wright on Instagram. And she sent me a selection of her Facebook posts. First one says, and it was June 3rd, 2010.

It says, can someone tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone? And I love her. One like, no engagement. Oh, no. I know. Next one. I remember what you wore on the first day you came into my life. And I thought, hey, you know, this could be something.

And then the final one is, I don't have. the time and I doubt of the patience. What do you take me for? Why am I still waiting? Because while you decide, I'm fucking suffocating. Because if you can't find the time, my bleed and heart won't make it. Now I realize she's doing lyrics. Understood. That was not clear. But still. I was like, oh my God. She said, okay, first I'm a, I'm a huge fan of you both. I'm an avid listener of Nobody Panic. That's Stevie's podcast. My friends and I do a weekly Zoom quiz. And one week we did a guest whose Facebook status is around. I died looking back at mine. I was clearly having an emotional time

I'm glad you enjoyed that is golden I read somewhere and it might have been in, I think it was in like a just like a novel but someone was like oh maybe it's a very well-known thing but someone said that you're always on social media for somebody I think that is something that when you're younger is absolutely true so you're obviously on it for yourself

but you know for about 10 years I was I was not friends with like my first boyfriend when we broke up on eyes and I was and friends on Facebook with him anymore. So then I would make sure that, like, my profile picture was something that I wanted, because I knew that he would be able to see that, but nothing else. And then when you got the banners over the top, like the big, long pictures at the top, and when that became public for everyone, then it was like, oh my gosh,

and now I've got two instances to show him a nonverbal message. Non-verbal message. And then I would look at his and be like, if he's sending a non-verbal message back? Now, what's so nice is now I'm fully released from that. But that's actually probably because I'm in a very long-term relationship. If I wasn't and you're having like, you know, I still see friends of mine who tweet. That's true. It's not an age thing necessarily.

Definitely not because if you're on Tinder, then your Facebook profile or your profile picture, does it still get pulled through? Honestly, neither of us could say, could we really? We've never been on Tinder. But I do remember that there was definitely a point where it was because you'd know when someone was on it because suddenly their like Facebook profile would be like mega hot. And you'd be like, whoa, okay. Someone's on Tinder. And also like, if you're being messed around by someone. or you've been ghosted by someone on Twitter or whatever.

You don't feel like you can say it. So like you can say it in a different way. And that's why, yeah, that's so true. Like Lucy said about their supply lyrics with no likes. Like those lyrics were probably her at the time trying to communicate something to a boy, especially when you're younger or anyone, but especially when you're younger and you, you don't have, well, I don't know about Lucy, but I didn't have the emotional literacy until it's about 25.

So to say how you feel. and even then you can't, you're uncomfortable, maybe you can't communicate it. So yeah, the lyrics are so good. That's probably why Stevie you posted coming out of my car when you fancy that guy. Yeah, trying to get Brandon, I'm really glad that he wasn't on Twitter because I would have tweeted him coming out of my car and he wouldn't have known what I was talking about. But yeah, I realised then that I said, oh, that's a thing for when you're young. And I realize that's actually a very good example of being very narrow-minded.

Because actually, it was just from when I was young because I wasn't in a long-term relationship. But if you're not in a relationship and you are trying to get someone's attention, then, oh my God, you can't, I don't think I could, I wouldn't be able to help doing it on. Oh, no, neither would I. Oh, I mean, honestly, aren't we just all doing that in some way now? Like, I mean, not maybe for relationships, but if anything, you're trying to get, you know, I don't know, I know I still probably do that in some way just with people. Like, I'm just trying to get people to see how I am and feeling. Why do you think I mentioned my first boyfriend? I'm joking. I'm fully joking. He comes in now. Like, hello. Hello. Oh, no. Oh, no. Poor guy.

Right, okay. Let's go to our worst posts. Our worst post since we started this series. I tweeted because I got really, really upset about constantly seeing people posting incredible things that they've done during lockdown. It was like, I don't know who you're posting this for. Like, surely you've posted this to your, like, friends and in WhatsApp groups and you'd like, why don't you just tell your friends?

And then everyone who cares for you and knows you would be like, oh, great. I tweeted, what's wild? Is you don't have to post a list of your achievements during lockdown? I know. You can just be proud in your head and discuss with friends about making other people feel bad. Crazy, right?

Now, the issue of this is that why I shouldn't have done is put without making other people feel bad because that's not what the intention behind these lists of like, I'm doing great. But yeah. Yeah. So that made it sound like I thought everyone was posting these things to make other people feel bad, which of course they're not. But I do

still, I do unfortunately do stand by the kind of like bragging on social media I really don't like. We had a very interesting conversation just off the back of this just assist us. We're like what we do in our jobs and our lives, you're a podcast, you're a comedian, you have reviews, you have write-ups, you write for almost every amazing platform. I've quite clearly been screaming about politics for three years and I have an Instagram with lots of followers, whatever. Like that's the, that's just the work in the world we live in, the world we exist in. And often that, I think a lot of people would see the things we post. For instance, you say, I've done this new piece for the Guardian or me saying, you see this new podcast and may not see

it as bragging, but would have, but would, the reaction would be the same. It would make, it would make them feel like, oh, everyone's nailing. It's Gina, Steve, nailing. We don't see it like that. But actually, our jobs almost by dint are probably making people feel that. That's how your job works. I have to post it. Yeah. So, but then you realize that, Of course, yeah, inadvertently, maybe I looked like I'm being like, so I wrote, God, just, whoops, written another article for a broad sheet. Anyway, I've got so much shit for it that, like, yeah, fine. I now understand that it came across as very bitter and very, and there's a very fine line

between my opinion on social media and other people's opinions. And I think it's not fair to tar everyone writing their nice achievements because it makes them feel good and it makes other people maybe be inspired. like there's two, basically, there's two sides to everything, isn't there? And I very much saw it. But it's weird because it's like, why can't you say? I have two things to say on this. Like, why can't you go, hey, no need to post your achievements because people have a hard time.

And people go, oh yeah, some people are. Yeah, she's probably right. I'm not, but she's probably right. But the reason why you got such a big reaction to that is because so many people do it and felt attacked by your tweet. That's why people. But then, interestingly. And also, it does say a lot about me that I, that annoys me.

Because it doesn't annoy a lot of people. And I am quite insecure about, like, how I spent my time and the things that I achieve and or don't achieve. So I get very, very like eye roll. But to be honest, like actually what I'd seen, the thing that the post had sparked me, I had done those things. Like I did get, like I did kind of work out a lot during lockdown and I did, I've been working on a book. So, but I was just, I was just annoyed that someone would read that and feel like they should have done those things. And I felt like that wasn't fair. I see what you mean. You know, and really, I'm too empathetic to be honest.

Well, no, I think quite interestingly, though, because you did a tweet, which I actually found before we were about to record, you did a viral tweet in March before we stopped the podcast, and it said, oh my God, stop tweeting, now's the time to finish that project. May we be excused from churning out quality content during a global pandemic, please? Today I looked at my own leg for 45 minutes. I just stared at it. And I would probably argue that that sentiment actually isn't that different to the tweet that you've got loads of shit for. It's just that it was articulated less pointedly towards people. Yeah. But that one went viral. You got 35,000 or, you know, 40,000. Yeah, I didn't get. So it's interesting how like, it's almost the same. You're saying the same thing. Like, can we be, but that one's like, oh, don't feel the need to, let's not be forced to be producing all of these things.

Whereas the other one was more, if you've produced, I don't necessarily need to hear about it because a lot of us are struggling. And also, your intention was to make people feel bad. So, which obviously it isn't. So anyway, right. what was your worst post since um so my worst post doesn't actually exist anymore because i deleted it um but you can see you might delete later that might delete later but you can see the the second post on my well we'll see on my delete later pod the reaction to it so obviously the black lives matter movement was reignited a lot and still is that it wasn't a moment it's still

happening and i posted on the second of june second of june was this blackout Tuesday thing Now, I, obviously, the conversations and this massive dialogue and this kind of upheaval online and on social had already been happening for like a month by this point, all the way through May. And on the second, I woke up, I felt like basically for two, three weeks, it was kind of all I was consuming was like reading and trying to find out exactly what was happening in all these different parts of America. and what was the dialogue in certain places and how are the people that I've been learning from for three years reacting to this and were they okay? And, you know, my DMs were full of young women from my community, young white women being like,

hey, I need help with this and blah, blah, blah. And I was trying to figure out how do I help my friends who are getting so many DMs and whose platforms that my friends were black women who are, the platforms just exploded and all they were getting was millions of messages from white people like, but what do you think about Stacey Dooley doing that thing last year? And it's like, how do I help my friends dealing with all this?

stuff. So it felt like, obviously quite, I think for everyone, it was like a tumultuous three weeks. And then on second of June, basically I woke up and I had loads of messages. And they weren't just from followers. They were from friends as well on my WhatsApp. I said loads. Enough, like a handful. And they were basically like some of the, most of the messages that were from followers were like, why haven't you posted for Blackout Tuesday? And they were kind of, I guess, intimating like everyone else is doing this and it's really disappointing to see that you're not doing it and you're not giving it the time whatever and I had no idea what black archiezy was because I think also I think my social media and who I follow it's probably more

pointed towards the people who maybe necessarily didn't see black out Tuesday as a very valuable thing yeah you follow more actual black people that we're using yeah and anti-racist educators who were like black swear isn't going to necessarily help us so I hadn't really seen it and then I got a handful of messages from friends or people I know, like colleagues, friends, acquaintances and stuff, say, which is really hard, I think, but basically saying, I'm waiting to see if you do it to know if I'm allowed to do it. Oh, Christ. And so the immediate feeling is like, okay, I need to, so now I've just woken up.

I haven't even had my coffee yet. I don't, I haven't even said hi to Jordy yet. But now I need to start researching this because I don't know what people are, A, angry about me not doing, be asking me if I'm going to do. Like, it was a whole, what the hell? So I just kind of looked into it. And I think because I'd just sort of woken up and I wasn't really engaging properly with what people were asking of me. And I was just a bit, you know, flummox really or back on booze or well messages.

I just looked into it and it said the first thing I read said, oh, yeah, probably first thing I read said, yeah, post back out Tuesday. And then basically the whole idea is that white people will take a step back and allow black creators to take the space on social and will, we're turned on. off when muted were silence and I thought yeah that's great idea because you know as I hear that sentence well that aligns with how I feel about these things about not white centering not taking up space in these conversations so that works for me so I posted it and literally as I did it you know when you like I don't know you do something and you can just feel like a you know when it says the seconds of how long it's been on and I was like oh no I don't I don't and the reason why it was because I was like I rarely I don't really like social media trends I don't know what they

achieve. They're very hard to find the origin of why they happen. We've seen that with the challenge accepted thing and lots of other things. And it was like, I rarely do stuff like this without doing actual research. And I'd just been duped into almost doing that because there was so much pressure coming from like friends and like all these people. So I deleted it straight away. And then I sat there and I read a whole bunch of stuff for a couple of hours.

I've breakfast and thought about it. And I reposted on Twitter basically to the effect of just a few tweet, like a thread that kind of said, I posted this because I thought it was meant to, quiet and people like me from my community, I've realized it's flooding the Black Lives Matter hashtag and completely drowning out all of the voices that we say we're trying to platform and uplift and support.

And I feel very uncomfortable about it because it's not really doing anything and people, most of the people posting it are posting it with the Black Lives Matter hashtag, which kind of shows, A, that they don't really know what they're posting or why. Because people were using that hashtag like black people were using that hashtag to organize to see where protests were happening

to like understand what was going on and then it was just full of white people with their black like squares and also as well like even if that wasn't happening like just the fact that's like I'm actually going to take a step back so then you just post a gigantic black squares like we can't step back yeah my main gripe was like I as a white woman who is publicly learning I guess to an extent um I'm held in some space as like someone who knows more but that's only by people in my community who haven't started the work that's the only people who ask me stuff because I know where near someone who knows enough yeah and so it was like oh like I have 60,000 followers do I want to be like

promoting like performative allyship because most of the people are posting black squares have never picked a pop-buck on anti-racism like you can tell they've never talked about it for yeah that's fine but then don't be posting there'll never be a time in conversations about racism or anti-blackness or conversations about gender inequality or a conversation about trans rights or whatever where you know as a person from the community who is not oppressed by those structural inequalities so as the dominant community so a white person or a cis person

or a straight person there will never be a time when you feel like you know exactly how to act in these situations there will only be times when you get better and your instincts are better because you've done the work and so like when you're a person who with the black light sorry the blackout Tuesday thing it's like you know I know someone who posted the black square

and posted that black square not with the black as my hashtag because they'd read and knew that that wasn't what you do they posted it and they specifically posted it as a marker for them that on there they can see from that date everything they started the work

and everything changed from them and they've been doing the work every day since they posted it only you know why you're posting it's just being honest about that and also in the conversation of like like silence, you know, the silence is violence, you know, phrase that you see a lot. Like, it is also true that silence isn't violence. Learning is actually also silent. And I can, and I wouldn't want to speak for anyone, but I would say that there is never a,

there is never going to be a time when as a white person, if you've not, if you've not read anything or you don't really know what you're talking about, there's never going to be a time for you to start talking because you think you need to. It's actually always better to just learn. and be silent and do the work. And then like when you know, you'll be saying stuff. You said to me a million times, this conversation requires nuance and social media

just does not encourage nuance. Social media trends, especially. Yeah, like it's possible to be nuanced on social media, of course, but it's also very, very difficult in general to be nuanced. Like, you have to, even the people that I think they're nuanced, aren't because they're doing the same nuance over and over again because that's their brand on that platform or that's their. So you're actually, you never see the full person because you can't,

because that wouldn't work with the consistency that is required of social media. No, it's not a platform for it. And like, that's why that's what, that nuance thing I found very hard of that post, which is my worst post, because I was basically saying, look, I've taken my square down because I just don't want to, you know, encourage performative, um, alliancehip or whatever you want to call it. However, if you're doing the work, postway black squares, be my guest only you know, you're doing. You know, if I had 100 followers and I, or, you know, I didn't really use Instagram

that much, but I wanted a marker of when my, when I started and decided, okay, this is, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm bullshit here. I'm not doing enough what is going on like my friend did, then great. But someone with 60,000 followers who's a very, very visible white woman, it's just not helpful for me to be posting that. And I think that's what I was trying to get across, but because socially is difficult for nuance. I'm not sure I can use that properly. It's so difficult because there isn't a right answer and there isn't a wrong answer. There's often just, just have a go. Right, let's move on to best post. My best post is, I actually don't really know if it's my best post

because I do just prefer the ones that are really silly. And I would refer you back to Herman's Sexy Bank Club. I think that's my best post in the last year, but it's performed poorly. So you're choosing this more because it performed well, you think? No, I'm choosing this more because I felt like it was, I done, I set out my comfort zone. Basically, I won't read it again, but basically like there was a bit of a mini me too moment in comedy.

And I just, I tweeted about it. And I tweeted about a particular, to be honest, I actually was suited to be out a number of particular male comedians that felt like saying things like, oh, well, my eyes have been opened now since some women told me that my behaviour was wrong. And I found that very like, you knew anyway. you know, like that whole, and also a lot of them were kind of like, you know, in the 30s when they claimed to have had their eyes open about very basic behaviour that you just don't do. And so I just tweeted about it and I found it like quite empowering because I never tweet about anything to do with things like that. The reason I thought it was my best one because I think it did like push it on a little bit. So people then started talking again about it when it sort of died down. I think I did actually add a little bit and it kept to go. Even though ultimately the momentum that I was trying to, you know, you know,

got commissioned off the back of it to write an article on the telegraph, which I also think added to it. And I very rarely think I add to any conversations. Which, by the way, two of my male friends messaged me about, said it was really good that they read it and they made them think about stuff. So that was good. And one of them was in comedy. So yeah, I don't normally feel like I should say anything about an issue or anything, even because I'm always like, well, there's somebody who's felt it more than me or could do it more articulately than me. And also, do I want the hassle? No. But this time I was like, it really bugged me. So I was like, no, I will. And then I sort of stuck by it. and I was very, I was very like, you know, okay, that was good.

I just really want, if I make that person of this, but there's like four or five of them, nervous for a night, then that's all I want to do. And so someone used it as a headline, which was like an anecdote from a gig that I did ages and ages and ages ago that I didn't name the comedian, and I'd heard numerous things about him. And, yeah, and he's not come up in any of the actual official conversations,

but I'm fairly sure he will have seen that headline. So it'd be like, great, great. Okay. I really like, I vibe off that, that feeling. I know exactly how you feel from that because that's literally how I felt the entire campaign because I couldn't prosecute the guys. But I kept putting, like supplying Sky News or BBC or whatever

with the photos, but their faces are blurred. And I hoped that for two years, they were worried I was going to say who they were. But I just didn't the whole time. That's, you never said that. You never said that before? That's such a good. Yeah, good. And they were nervous.

They should be shaken in the boots. All these men that are committing behaviour like that should be. shaking their boots and if you can do that so why I think that is a win in some respect yes definitely so what's your best post um okay so my best post god it's all our best posts are all um feminism today oh yeah um what post of feminism what time pretty much aren't they all isn't that just live the 7th of july and basically the week of 7th of july somehow i had two guys from my past so i don't really know anymore um one from high school and another one from uni come into my inbox and as basically just like want like catch it up and then it was like okay hi and then why but also hi and then

the conversation always as it always does with lots of people in my life now um kind of segued into i have a question actually i wanted to ask you but like probably not now no it's fine go on because i feel an obligation like if i'm not the one having these conversations because i just assume guys are so further on in this conversation because i mean it's all i hear this conversation in my life about gender inequality, it's exactly the same. Well, anyway, yeah. So I feel like people should be further on. And then obviously they come in with these questions.

And I feel like, well, if I'm not going to answer that question, who is going to answer that question to them and tell them and explain to them why that is not the way it is. Yeah. So I felt obliged to. And I had this conversation, one with one of them over voice notes for like an hour and a half. And it was absolutely infuriating. And then another one over Facebook Messenger. And basically the question was in two different ways, but it was basically the same thing.

The first one was, do not think. your kind of like fun lifestyle fashion sort of vibe is really detrimental and doesn't help your work because your work's actually quite serious and no not at all that's the answer to that and then another one was the same but it was sort of about it was it was basically about fashion really like you're very feminine you're very like you know lifestylely I love fashion and you're not thing that takes away from your serious work and I obviously told them why I didn't but it played on my mind so much because these people, obviously, it's like a cut-to moment. I knew them when I was younger and more insecure.

I didn't know who I was yet. And they were both specifically characters who pride themselves on their intellectual academia as men and they sort of therapies and the way they speak and all this stuff. And I remember feeling very inadequate in their presence when I was younger. And so when they came back and asked this question, I was too nice and I tried to explain why. But you know when you can't do the, well, I can't answer this

because you don't get one plus one as two. So how do I explain four plus five is whatever that is nine? Like, how do I do this? Because I need to take you back all of these steps so that you know that even that question is misogynistic in its entirety, just to ask and question if a woman can do her job well if she likes fashion as a concept is sexist.

And I was putting too much effort into it, and Jodie heard one of the voice notes from this guy, and in one of his voice notes, he said, I just feel like your particular type of femininity and stuff and like your identity, like, a lot of young girls wouldn't relate to that because you're very, like, fashiony. And, you know, your Instagram is kind of like the Gina show. And I said, yeah, it is the Gina show because it's my Instagram. And actually, my Instagram isn't my job. I do a lot of other stuff. And I've been in rooms with people talking for the last three years. And I like fashion and blah, blah. Anyway, I posted this post basically saying about how, like, somehow this conversation has come up with two guys.

The first rule, obviously, in any of this work is that you never ask someone more marginalized than you why they show up in the world as they do. and you certainly don't offer an alternative way you always punch up. As a white man, you should be punching up and solving the problem, not punching down and asking women why they are the way they are. In the same way that as a white woman, I would never come into a black woman's inbox or a disabled person's inbox

or a non-binary trans person's inbox. You think how do you like... Your hair like that is setting you back and making people think you're too much. And of course. Like, exactly. Like I would never ask because that would be racism and that would be really messed up to do that. So it's like... And of course it's not the same thing.

I'm not as marginalized, but it's just that is a rule. You just don't do it. And then I basically was saying about how, like, guys will only ever describe, who have no idea, will only ever describe femininity as either an oppressive, like, patriarchal ideal. So he was like, I know femininity is like the fact that women are tied to like hair and beauty. Firstly, it's such a binary conversation in the first place. I just, I just, in that conversation, I just think, like, how can you think you know more about this than a woman? Because you've not felt like it. You've never lived it. You've not felt, you've not felt the need to. to shave your legs or like presumably or you know wear makeup so how do you know what so you think

that we're constantly being like four men and of course like very deep yes it is maybe but it's maybe but it's developed and it's developed and it's got a million you have to spend it's like a big sweater and you've got to spend like a hundred years on picking it before you can and and and you can't unpick it if you don't have to have the needles of experience oh my god I was I saw your face when you found that before you said it was great. But you're right. He said the idea, he said, I know that beauty and fashion is like an oppressive force for women, but it's also one that has power over men.

It's like, if that's the two ways you see femininity, then you only ever see femininity recognizing it as in proximity to men. You didn't even mention the fact that femininity can be a really wonderful form of self-expression and the fact that when I was going into male-dominated spaces and wearing bright colors and red suits. It actually made my job harder, but it raised valid questions about sexism in that space and that they judged me in. Are we supposed to dress like a man? I need to assimilate to be a man to be taken seriously. Yeah. But that that post that you did where you publicly sort of took them down, but not naming them. I think that was so good because that's basically like the dream,

isn't it? That's the equivalent of seeing your ex. You're wearing like an amazing dress and you're like, oh, sorry, I've just got a call because I'm just, buy, sell, just calling Japan. Sorry. Like, like, that's the kind of, like, that's the equivalent. Like, you have a massive following. You have a, you have a, you have a whole career. And you've done. Not by mistake. And that's what like, like, like, oh, she's got lots of followers. That's why she, much did that. It's like, no, that's the other way around. She did. Yeah, the work came first. And that's right. So, and so it was a really great, like, flipping the bird to those people. And I think that's, talking about before when you say, you know, about being younger and posting for someone,

that's why I say, well, sometimes I still do that. I wanted, you know, one of which was an ex-boyfriend and one of was a very close male friend back in the day, whether or not he can tell, I think there is a part of him that wants to show up in my DMs and still feel like, oh, I'm still, I'm still, I'm still, I'm still, I'm still, they want to check. They want to check, the best still, yeah, he's not, he has no idea what he's talking about. And so, I guess it just felt like a really, that's a really, that's the first time I've ever done that. I don't sub-tweet, whatever, but it felt like, well, if two guys have come into my inbox to this conversation and clearly guys are thinking this a lot and I really, I just want to set out some boundaries here because I'm going to get

this question probably a lot more and this isn't cool. It's not watching I want to receive. Really, really proud of myself for that. Well done. Good best post. You know what? Really interesting. Lovely to chat to you actually. You've been a really great guest. Are you been a good guest too? You should come on more. Oh my God. Yeah. And in two weeks time, we should maybe do it again with like James Acaster. I don't know. Oh my God. I can't believe you just told everyone. I know. Well, he's called social media. And so we spent it. And it's so interesting finding out about finding out as for why. Please do follow us at might delete later pod on Instagram and might delete pod on Twitter. And if you have any like people that you think, oh yeah, that'd be good. They should get them on. Want to hear about them. Yeah. Email us might delete later. But might delete later pod at gmail.com. Give us a little. subscribe, a little review. Oh, give us a little rate, a review.

It helps people find us. I remember, social media can be funny and silly, and it can be a way to sub-tweet one of your exes. But regardless, you can always just silly later if it stresses you out too much. And we have your back. We have your back. And I have your back, Gina.

I have your back too. Your backside as well. Oh, my God, bye, my round. Okay, goodbye, everybody. See you in two weeks. Woo!