Might Delete Later - Ep 3: Nish Kumar

Episode Date: June 11, 2020

Stand-up comedian, ‘The Mash Report’ host and all-round great guy Nish Kumar looks at his first posts and worst posts this week. And Gina and Stevie stan that.👉🏼Remember you can find all posts discussed on Instagram @mightdeletelaterpod and we're on twitter too @mightdeletepod.Follow Nish Kumar on Twitter @MrNishKumar and Instagram @MrNishKumarFollow Gina on Instagram @ginamartin and Twitter @ginamartinukFollowing Stevie on Instagram @5tevieM and Twitter @5tevieMWant to help us make more episodes? Support Might Delete Later at https://supporter.acast.com/mightdeletelaterHosted by Gina Martin and Stevie Martin.Photo by Joe McGowan.Artwork by Zoe Harrison.Recorded at Sony 4th Floor Creative.Edited by Clarissa Maycock.Produced by Plosive Productions.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/mightdeletelater. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you love Mike Delete Later? I bloody hope you do. You can support our show by using the new ACAS supporter feature. It's up to you how much you give and there is no regular commitment. Just smash that link in the show description and support us now so we can keep making this podcast. Thank you. Hello and welcome to Mike Delete Later, where we get guests to dread shop their first ever social media posts, their worst ever social media posts, and one they like.

I'm Stevie, and I hate social media with an ardent passion. I'm her sister, Gina, and I quite like it with an ardent passion. Can you quite like me with an ardent passion? Well, I do now. And today our guest is comedian and great friend to Stevie, Nish Kumar. So you will have seen him on literally every panel show that ever was and ever will be. But he most notably hosts The Mash Report and is about to front a new American satirical show called, Hello America.

And he also is known for getting a lot of shit on. Twitter for being left-wing. Brexit was a real time for him. He was against it. I've been friends with him since he worked in a call centre in 19, 2012, and have three followers. So it's quite fascinating. And also, I'm not going to lie, slightly worrying, to see how much his social media presence has grown, really. We recorded this episode before lockdown, and it was a fun one, despite having such a seemingly divisive online presence. Present. Prudent. Just so Austrian right now. I am. Nish is. pretty positive about the whole thing, except about Instagram.

Yeah, he doesn't like Instagram as he, and his girlfriend Amy sorts out for him. Yeah, he's very much a Twitter guy. But have a listen and look, I think, just be kind to people online, please, even if they don't show you political views. Okay? Check out our Instagram at Might Delete Later Pod for all the posts that Nish mentioned in this episode. And shout out to Sony Fourth Floor Creative where we recorded this episode. And that's snazies.

Enjoy! Enjoy! I'm going to start the podcast by saying what I would delete this week is this feature because I've forgotten what my thing was. Okay. Okay. I would delete the phrase, oh, it is what it is.

I fucking hate that phrase. Pisses me off. People say it all the time when you want to have a conversation about stuff. They go, well, you know what, it is what it is. And it's like, oh, great. And then the world will never progress. That's what I delete. I hate it.

I guess. Okay. I delete the concept of roots in your hair. Vegetables. Oh. So I think hair should just stay the same length. Hang on. And then you cut it and then it's, that's your haircut.

Oh, that'd be good. No, I'd go back on that. Because then I'd have the same haircut I had when I was eight. That's true. Oh my God. You had a bowl cut when you were right, remember? I did. I'd have a flat top.

That's all right. That's a flat top. It's like where you, it's basically like when you shave the back and sides. Oh, like a crew cut vibe. Yeah, yeah. But no, it can just go straight up. Think the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Oh, yes. Or, Hey Arnold's friend.

Or Hay Arnold's friend. Or Hay Arnold's friend. Well, those are my two style icons. Yeah, absolutely. So good. I thought you meant roots as and root vegetables, Steve. Yeah. I'd never delete root veg.

You don't like, pass a point. No, it keeps us regular. It keeps us regular. It keeps us seeing well. That's actually a myth. It doesn't keep us saying well. No. What I would delete this week is the phrase get Brexit done.

Yes. I would delete that phrase. Sure. We're recording this in the lead up to the election. and if I hear one more person say get Brexit done, I think my head is going to explain. It also makes no sense because you can't just like, it's like a football chant.

You're like, no. Also it's mad because you sort of go, it's going to take years to resolve all of the customer negotiations. There's so much to do. And I think, you know, in 11 months' time when we're once again facing another deadline because the withdrawal agreement opens us up to a December 2020 deadline, what are they going to like?

What are they going to still be saying that? Still get it done. Do it again, but do it more. Just get it done. Just get it. We're going to be saying that for a year now. Also like it's supposed to be, it was supposed to be this great thing. This amazing thing that was going to like give us all free.

And now everyone's just like, oh, just finish it. Everyone is like that. Like the main argument is just where we just finish it quickly. Yeah, from all the people who were so there for it. And now just like, make it stop. Like great. So good. That is a good point.

Is it getting Brexit done? You bed up of talking about Brexit. Lots of people say. I'm fed up and talking about Brexit or you must be fed up talking about Brexit. First of all, it's like, my job is to do one of my jobs is to do comedy about politics.

And so it's a bit indulgent to be like, I'm so bored. Let's face it, quite easy job. I have to talk about, you don't believe it. I have to talk about, but also I think it's quite a sort of, it's quite an indulgent line to take. Agreed. Like something that could have a really,

could have a really damaging impact on the country. The idea that you could sort of be bored of that, I think, is that it's quite privileged. Absolutely. I agree. I find that with politics in general. Like, I'm so bored of politics. Yeah, yeah. But it's like, well, that's easy for you to be because depending on what happens, your life doesn't really change that much. Yeah, fine, you can check out, but your life is the same. I understand if, like, if people who have no professional interest in this get bored of politics, that makes sense to me.

But I'm bored of people who work at various levels in politics and journalism and even comedy about politics. and journalism, when they say, oh, I'm so bored of Brexit, you're like, that is a really, it's your job. It's not how it works. You feel you. You don't, that's not how anything works. No, I feel you. You're right. What's your, what would you say your relationship is with social moods?

Complicated. Yes. Very complicated. As everyone's relationship is. Yeah. So my relationship with it. start, I guess with MySpace? Like, I think I was

on MySpace. Yeah, yeah. Did you do like, did you like straighten your hair and some sort of emo fringe? No, no, no. I wasn't... No, I didn't... There aren't loads of pictures of me and my underpants. And if there were, I suspect there wouldn't be as desirable as pictures of Tom Hardy in his underpants.

Yeah, so I was on MySpace and that all seemed to be fine. And then I was sort of part of the first wave of face. Facebook users. Yes. By second, around my second year of university.

2006? Yeah. Late 2006, early 2007. Yeah. And I remember the sort of excitement of that. It was really just a good way of organizing your friendship at university. Like it was a good way of letting, because mobile phone technology wasn't quite where it is now.

Snake. It was at. It was snake. Yeah. It was the equivalent of being able to sort of send group texts and group WhatsApp. You could organise events on Facebook and that was all it really seemed to be, and for photo sharing. And so when we were at university, it just seemed to sort of. Take out a digital camera and then upload 300 images of the same night.

So genuinely. Or plug in your old Nokia camera and upload a photograph, which by the time it was, yeah, by the time it was blown up to a moderate-sized desktop computer screen was absolutely indecipherable. It was like a magic eye picture. And all of the albums were called like Friday Night Lash. Yeah, yeah. True. January 20, 2018.

Not January 2018. No, because we've left. That was two years ago. That was very breakfast. Cool. Bye. I've lost track of time. But yeah, I remember it all being very exciting.

And I do remember when you watch the social network, I do remember a point at which people started to use Facebook. I do too. I remember seeing Steve using it and be like, what's you doing? No. And also people started using it as a verb. Like it's a sort of quite big bit in the movie where you Facebook someone. It's weird that we have that like those memories of the feeling of it being created and what the opportunity was and then finding ourselves here.

And it's like, God, how much has happened. But that's right. So I'm technically on Instagram, by which I mean my girlfriend has set up an Instagram under my name. Amy Annette, listen to her podcast. Amy Annette, listen to her podcast. Her and Ashling B, who is a friend of ours, decided that I needed to have an Instagram. presence and so they set one up and so now I'm you know through a third party

on Instagram do you okay it or do they just put anything out so have you looked so recently you know it's pictures of your ass yeah it's only pages of your bar in that case you're welcome the internet what a chocolate treat for you all I because I I just don't have the enthusiasm for it because I feel like I've seen the full life cycle of Facebook and now I am like Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park

in the sequel in the second Jurassic Park movie he's like because everyone says oh Instagram's nice because it's just pictures of dogs but there's a bit in the second Jurassic Park film where Jeff Goldblum says oh it always starts out like this ooh ah and then there's the screaming and the running and that's how I feel about

all thoughts of such a media now like I remember Facebook when it was a way of organising five people to come round to a barbecue at your university friends house as opposed to a petri dish for neo-Nazism. Literally, yeah. And all of your older family sharing like right-wing memes and you're like, sick, I want to leave. And with Twitter, I joined in 2010.

Again, I didn't really have any enthusiasm for it because even by 2010, Facebook had become a slightly different thing. And I think also that's not even just a really bad thing. It also become a thing because your older relatives were on there. Like my brother got busted for not going. to see my aunt and uncle because he said he was ill but then my cousin found pictures

of him drunk. It's not your safe space anymore like yeah yeah because I remember I was at that uni I was like posting stuff and I was like mom and dad are gonna see it yeah you're like then you start to like censor yourself and actually it just had been this space

where you were like oh cool like this place it was like oh I can go on Instagram post pictures and my tits or whatever I'm doing and then get kicked off again but like you get kicked off of a tits you only post pictures with your ass but you can like you know whatever caption you want and you feel like

it's a little bit of a safe space and then obviously then your parents join Instagram and then yeah which is lovely I love that or on the other side you feel like it's a safe space and then your career takes off and then it becomes just well in this just case yeah like it just

it becomes a space where like you were in conversations having fun stuff sharing things you like and then it becomes a space where you don't have control of that anymore there was a period of yes yes but also I think the the four of itself has changed because I remember

when you first joined Twitter it was mainly sort of group practical jokes and like Catlin Moran yeah and there were sort of people doing serious and interesting stuff with it but but it was all it was very different

it was people doing I mean some pretty incredible pieces of journalism you know all the way that this of Arab Spring was covered through Twitter and the way that it oxygenated the kind of Black Lives Matter movement. It's really interesting hearing people who are involved in those things talk about Twitter particularly because it was such a,

because also it's a public forum because technically you can't access Facebook unless you have a Facebook account and it's the same with all of those things. But Twitter is entirely completely accessible. Even if you don't have a Twitter account, you can still, the website still, the individual Twitter pages still appear as websites. sites. And so, like, it was half Rob Delaney being funny. And the other half was, you know, people using it as a tool to do incredible pieces of journalism and write about things that maybe wouldn't necessarily have been of interest to the gatekeepers in more established

media outlets. Yeah, that's very, very true. I'm always very grateful for the things I've learned from social media that have come from areas that I have no direct experience of. I think of things like trans rights. Yeah, same. A lot of, like, a lot of new feminist writing, especially lots of feminist writing from women of colour. There's lots of conversations about class that I've been privy to in a way that I wouldn't have been without Twitter

because otherwise you're only getting your information from her. You're in like a little echo chamber? Yeah, yeah. What they allow to be kind of platformed, otherwise it kind of social democratises the editorial platforms a bit, really. Yeah, totally. I'm always wary when people say, oh, social media has got us all locked in echo chambers because I would argue I was in more of an echo chamber when I was growing up because I only got information from the directs people around yeah.

Curating news sources and the direct yeah literally. That's the thing is you have like the opportunity, the access for it not to be. The problem is a lot of people don't create, they don't create that. I always say to people in like talks and stuff I'm like they're like oh my my feed is making me feel bad or like it's the same people and same stuff and I'm like well that's like going to an art gallery selling front of a piece of art and being like I hate it, hate it and not leaving. Yeah. Like unfollow people, follow more interesting people.

Like you can do that yourself, but you're not curating that space. Yeah. It gives you that opportunity. Because I follow loads of women of colour on Instagram and people who are, just like, as in just to learn stuff. But I had to be like, right, who are the people that I should be following? Who are interesting people? I'm the same as you. Like, I feel really like, social media relationship is kind of odd in some ways.

But like I feel mostly, like, I feel like I've mostly benefited in the last years because I've just listened and learned so much stuff. Yeah. And it's amazing to have that. So there is plenty to be said for that. And I mean, even in terms of the stuff that you did with the law change in this country was also partly distributed. It all on soviet. It all came from, you know, that's an example of it, fueling grassroots activism,

which is always going to be an extremely positive thing. I got the chance to talk to Derey McKesson, who was one of the people who was sort of on the ground in Ferguson. Oh, wow. And it was really interesting talking to him about the kind of early days of Black Lives Matter and how they use Twitter as an organizing tool. And so there is all of that as well. The problem is that it's ultimately, as much as we talk about these things as open platforms, there are gatekeepers.

Just because there's fewer of them, and you're not talking about an editorial staff or layers of it, ultimately, Mark Zuckerberg now edits the entire world. Yes, yes. So we've, you know, in a way, as much as we've sort of torn down gatekeepers, we haven't really torn them down.

We sort of folded them up and put them in the pocket of one overlord gatekeeper. Nish, your Twitter, you joined in 2010. Yes. Nine years, even on Twitter. Yes. When you phrase it like that, it sounds depressing.

Quite horrific. But well done. And you brought three posts for us to discuss. Sure. Your first one, which I went and found. Yeah, which I don't remember. I have no idea what it would be. So literally, I found out you can...

So for this podcast, I've got a code into the top bar and you can go back to, like, the first ever Twitter post you ever did. Really? Which is terrifying makes me feel like a journalist that works for the mirror. But it's fine because your first... It's so on brand. It's so cute. Well, you have...

I have two. I picked the first one, then I picked one of the first ones. On the 20th of June 2010, you tweeted, watching Poirot. And then you put, it's fun shouting. I bet he did it everyone. It's like the cutest thing. We're just sitting on your own watching Praro. No likes. No retweets. No likes. No, no re-tweets. Didn't hashtag Praro. Didn't that anyone? Just tell them in the world what you were doing. What were you doing in 2010? Two thousand and ten. Apart from Poirot. No, so I remember quite specifically what I was doing. We were, I was doing a sketch show in Edinburgh with Tom Nean

my friend Yes because your third tweet you were talking to him Your first ever tweet you were chatting and that was like oh that makes sense Yeah yeah yeah So I was Tom and I were doing a sketch show in Edinburgh

As the sketch double out The Gentleman of Leisure And he actually him and Ed Gamble Had already been on Twitter for a while And I'd also had a couple of conversations with I remember having a distinctly remember having a conversation In a car with a comic called Tien and Doya who was, and Tienin was basically,

Tienin was like basically trying to explain to me what Twitter was. I really vividly remember it. I see Tienan all the time now and he's, like, he's a, he's a lovely chap, but he's very funny, but he was one of the first Twitter comedians. He's literally explaining to me the premise of Twitter. And I really remember, I think we've done a gig in Southampton and he was literally explaining to me, oh, there's this thing where you can just write.

And I was just like, what's the point of that? What do you write? And who too? I think he had done a Twitter gig. Because again, in the sort of early years of Twitter, it was quite a big... Yeah, they put like a sort of gig that was live tweeted essentially. Oh, sick. And I think that Twitter had organised that.

What year was Twitter founded? Was it 2008 or something? Oh my gosh, such a good question. I have no idea. No, I have no idea either. We'll find out, we'll put it in. It had certainly been around for a couple of years by that point. Well, Rose Matafayo was on it in 2008.

Yeah. I think it was around that time. Yeah, right. Because most of the people, you know, it says like your username, it says like when you started. Like loads of my friends who were like in their 30s and stuff. 21st of March, 2006. But I don't think it caught on. It was just Catlin Moran and Rod Delaney talking to it for like two years.

And then, but I remember that thing of like the first tweet you did just being like, okay, here I go. Like what? And who are you talking to? I had no followers. I was very resistant to it. But then I'm, the weirdest thing about my relationship with Facebook is that I just signed up for it. Whereas normally I'm very resistant. I didn't get mobile phone until I went to university.

I didn't get Twitter fears. I was always very resistant to any sort of change. You could see the use of Facebook though. You could see the use for it. Well, what happened was a friend of mine moved, switched university. He switched university courses. And so he moved to a different uni. And so the reason we had Facebook was it was a way of staying in touch with him.

Well, that's what it originally was, right? In like uni, it was a union networking thing. So that's why it was using. the best but then Twitter it was kind of like I'm talking to anyone yeah I just I did I truly did not see the point of it and then we were got in the lead up to Edinburgh there was this this sense of like well it might be good if we were on Twitter promo yeah I think it was I think it was sort of sold to me as like a way of promoting which it does what nine years later I feel like you're doing a right yeah it does work and also so your your pro pro pro tweet you obviously got a

taste for it and not pirro than Twitter um because then two days later you tweet you tweeted very much something that you tweet now. Daily Mail blames England's performance at WC on mass immigration. This is not a joke. So we go. Same nishy, same nishy nine years later. Yeah. Loving it. Like, couldn't be more just you on Twitter for nine years.

I mean, it's good to know that I've always been a tedious bore. Not tedious boar. Man who cares, guys, no who cares. Centuress of power. Man of the peeps. Or speaking. So second post is one you regret. Is there a post that you can pinpoint in your head that you wish you had

posted. Yeah. There's a few things. So part of the reason I regret posting this is I was a bit drunk. I was at a friend's wedding and I just turned my phone on and I, you know, sort of instinctively turned Twitter on, which is a weird thing if you think about it. You sort of, when you wake up, you don't open the window and go, what's happening everyone?

Like, that's weird. I want to do that now. Yeah. And somebody had tweeted something, which is sort of is an occasional thing that, you know, We all get, and when I say we all, I mean, anyone who is in the public sphere who is not middle class or upper middle class or posh, straight white man, is that if you do anything creative and you're not from that group, you will always be accused of banging on about the thing that makes you not a part of that group. So banging on about being a woman, banging on about being gay, banging on about me, whatever X, Y said, whatever this. So somebody had said something to me that was to the effect of why do you always bang on about being Indian? And I replied, I quote tweeted it and replied, I'm so brown, sorry.

Indian, Indian, brown Indian. That's funny. Yeah, which is fine. It was funny. But then about half an hour later, the problem is, you have to just having more followers than your 10 friends. Yeah, if you said that in a room with us as friends, it's funny. But then you put it on Twitter and you're like, oh. Then you put it on Twitter and you sort of open someone up.

And it's not, you know, it's not even the worst version of a pylon. But it's, you sort of open someone up. I see. You've directed your followers to them. And then I spotted that they deleted their account. And then I felt very bad. Oh, shit. Because it was, you know, I also don't agree with not engaging with all of those things

because I think part of the problem, part of the reason we've ended up in the sociopolitical situation we've ended up in is there's been too much of an emphasis on not having uncomfortable conversations with people and also just sort of you know just sort of going oh well those are just their views different generation xyz and i think that that that's a problem but i think there is a more constructive way to have that conversation than to post a tweet about it and have loads of people reply to it being like what an idiot what an idiot what an idiot Well, like, Carriad Lloyd had that thing where she, I can't remember what she, yeah, it was a bloody good period.

And then Graham Linnehan's followers just completely piled on. And it was because he knew what he was doing. Like, he knows the sway that he has. And whenever he replies to anybody, all of his followers see it. So then to be like, oh, sorry, like it's like he didn't realize. You did realize. Yeah, and like for you to realize that, I don't think a lot of people do. realise that. And actually, to be fair, I've only just come to that understanding that, like,

we all want to think of ourselves as people in these rooms having chats with our friends. And then you get to a point where you go, actually, there are 50,000 people who are looking at everything I say. And however much I don't want that to, that scares me, you also have to go, this is such a massive responsibility in that. And like, you're a human, so sometimes you don't want to engage and sometimes you want to make a joke because it's easier like you did there. But then off the back of that comes something that you can't really control. So you have to foresee that. And I think being able to do that is quite responsible because I don't think a lot of people do online.

Or know that they have to. You know, I'm a stand-up comedian. I could have retold that anecdote on stage and made essentially the same joke and not included the person's name. Yes. Yeah, that's interesting. That's a really good way of looking at it. That's when I discovered the art of the sub-tweet.

Very good. Very strong and so much. I mean literally seven months to figure out what that meant. So long was like, can't stop sub-tweeting like, what you do? No, I don't know what I was saying. But because like words and vernack. the knack, move so quickly on Twitter.

I end up Googling everything. So that like feral hogs thing because it goes so quickly that it's in meme stage when I've got to it. So I can't get to the actual source of the information. Anyone listening, it's the last year there was 30 to 50 feral hogs. And just Google it. Just Google it.

And it was in three to five minutes. Just Google it. It was somebody trying to explain that they should not change gun laws in America because they have to deal with 30 to 50. 50 feralongs every day. Every three to five minutes when their children are playing. It was amazing.

That's someone's actual life. It was like 45 minutes because the garden had then done an explainer. It was like, thank God. So obviously like news sites have picked it up in it and being like, people need to know. Because I googled there was something as well to do with the queen dying or something. And there was like a WhatsApp thing. There was a faked WhatsApp group that had revealed the queen was dead.

And then once you go into it, you're like, I'm lost already. But it was all their names. It was like eggy or something. I can't remember. It was like that. It was something like that. And I was like, what is that? You feel like, I feel like I'm a 70 year old woman.

Do you know what? I had a weird thing with I stand, right? So like I stand. We stand. We stand or what. But when that started happening, I only heard of it because I was outside of co-off in a pink wig and these girls came up and were like, we stand like, we stand like screamed at me. And I was like, and I said, I tried to stand, but I don't know.

No, no, I hate it. And I'm bad thinking about it. Oh, no. I said, I can't quite. That's fine. That's fine. That's not. that you have low self-esteem.

I know, but they looked at me and went, oh, I, ha, and walked off. You didn't understand what Stan meant. No, they were like, I stand and I was like, I tried to stand, but I can't quiet. And they were like, oh, have a good day. I left. I was like, oh, I didn't know what a man.

Because when I first heard that term, I was like, there's no. It's not Eminem. It's not like Eminem. Yeah, but it is sick though, isn't it? It's so weird. And also, most of the people saying we stand, do not know what that song is at all,

because they're all like seven. They're born a shit. I tried to put over a version of myself that's like trying to learn and be kinder and now I'm about to tell a story that is in of itself slightly cruel. But, um... Sure.

Yeah, it's like, you know, it's a process, guys. Yeah. The only reason I'm proud of this is because he is a first-rate bell end. Because it appears more than... Yeah. And also, it was, it was that he dug up the tweet. That's what I think was extraordinary.

So in 2000... I remember all of the circumstances around this. In 2016, he wrote something about Beyonce. she wasn't being black in the correct way. So this was sort of in the aftermath of... Yeah. It's sort of in the aftermath of formation and then her the performance at the Super Bowl,

which is still technically cold play doing the Super Bowl, even though everyone's like, why were they there at Beyonce's performance? She was like doing a guest slot. But, you know, the... But all the imagery around formation and this sort of extraordinary stuff she was doing around that time. Yeah. And there was something and it really wound me up.

Is it the entitlement of feeling like you can say that shit? Yeah, totally. How do you know? Yeah. What gives you any like, oh anyway, sorry. And I was definitely trying to do, I definitely remember trying to do stand up about it and not quite being able to get past the naked anger that I had for his attitude. And so ending up sort of jettisoning the material. But there was one joke where I said that he was,

what would happen if someone injected white privilege into a gammon state. I remember that. And that was the only thing that I, and I tweeted that and left it. Two and a half years later, they, I had agreed to do question time. And the week, it was the first episode of a new series. And in the last episode of a previous series, David Dimbleby said,

and the first episode of next series will be joined by Pierce Morgan and Nish Kumar and he then started tweeting me he then started saying to me well I hope you've got as much

you know I hope you can handle slagging me off behind my back and I was like I have no idea I do not remember slagging you off I mean I do fighting talk for questions time I was really weird I was like I do

I have absolute contempt for you but I don't actually remember expressing that publicly and he had dug up that tweet And he then reposted it. It was like, what do you think about this? And I was like, it's pretty funny. Yeah, I agree.

It's actually my best work, I'd say. I do think it's pretty funny. It's kind of odd, though, isn't it? That, like, it's not kind of odd. It's overtly odd. That, like, a guy with that platform doing that job will hear that he's working with someone and then go out of his way to find evidence.

So I don't know what the truth of this is. The rumors are. I've been, I've had rumors fed back to me by people who have worked for him. Yeah. That he, he obsessively searches his own name. Right. And he has assistance who, so, and again, let me heavily caveat this by saying, I don't know if this is true or not.

And I also, there's a part of me that suspects it can't actually be true just because of the amount of, you know, just because the amount of sort of labor it would require, but apparently he has someone on a staff that archives. tweets and negative comments to then use it later days. To then use it. Well, I'm glad they're putting the energy into the world in a good way that's really needed.

But again, I don't know if that's true and there's a part of you that thinks it can't be. It can't be. Because the sheer volume of online conversation about him that he generates. I mean, that's part of what he does.

Yeah, it's constant. But we're saying, we're saying Piers Morgan is what would happen if you injected white privilege to a scam mistake. I stand by that. Yes, yes.

Yes. I'd be very proud of it. And I stand by that. Do you know what? I stand it. I fully stand, stand Okay, so we've got a feature that I stand personally And I also stand with It's a little feature to call follow and follow block

And we give you three people And you just say whether you'd follow You don't follow them or you'd block them Obviously the three people we're going to give you Is Ed Gamble Great comedian, Taskmaster, everything Tom Linen writer of MASH report

and James Acaster So who would you follow Unfollow and Block? And be aware that the difference There is a subtle difference between Unfollow and Block Yeah, yeah Because you literally don't want to see their shit anymore Because Unfollow is like

Nah Take it, leave it I'll block Acaster Oh that was fast, why did you go block first? He's not on Twitter He's not on Twitter more than that So in a way It is a cheat

It does the least social damage to me It's James A Castor on Twitter Yeah but I would never block James A. A. Castor. Okay, great. Who's James A. Castor? About eight years ago, James was on Russell Howard's Good News. And when the stand-ups would do little slots on Russell Howard's Good News,

and they would have their name repeated over and over again on the screen as the background. And they misspelled James' name as James A. Castro. And then that Twitter account now exists. Oh, my God. And it is James's old to be. It just tweets. You know what? I sort of, this is, you know, we talk about the internet and how fucking shit it is.

But then we also, things like that, and I just go, I just love people. No, this is the thing about the James Acastle or Twitter account, because it's sort of having a parallel career to James. But it, and also, like, it's sort of written in almost borderline nonsensical language. Yeah, it's like, he can't spell. He doesn't really understand anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that.

You've got a parallel. Haven't you got a Twitter account? What was your one? I actually can't remember. I can't remember. Oh, shit. There's a really good one. like faked

Nish Kumar Twitter accounts as well. Excellent. But they exist in the same universe as the James Acastle. It's like a powerful. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It really is. So fun. I only really have fake accounts if they're trying to like hurt me. So I'm, you know, I had fake accounts of guys trying to like

make up rumours. I don't really have fun ones. I'd like it if someone made like a Gina fart in or something. And it was just like really stupid. That'd be so much fun. I'll do that if you want to.

Okay, great. It's less fun if you do it. Yeah, and I've told you are. I have to be surprised by it, even though I've asked people to now do it. Anyway, okay, so follow and follow, blocks. So you're blocking James Akeester. Okay, who are you following and who you unfollowing out of both great friends,

Ed Gamble and Tom Neen? Well, I'll unfollow Tom Neen because Tom Neen and I work together so often. If I unfollow him, I feel like he could... You'll lose your job. Well, no, I feel like he could tweet about having a real nightmare day. True. I feel like it would create more of a safe space for Tom to tweet about, you know, writing for a show

the host as being a complete moment. There was that lovely moment on the Mash Report where there's like a photo of it and you know it, I don't know why I'm telling you, but it's just nice, where what was it that happened that a report had just come in

and there was a photo of Tom handing you and stuff that's just written for you. It was some leaks about the Yellowhammer impact report into a no-deal Brexit. That came out during the recording and Nien and so like we finished the recording and then. gets drunk in the room and watches and he said he was pissed and then this

happened he's like shit I've got to write all these stuff about the niche yeah yeah yeah because he writes not all but lots of the stuff that niche says and then like and then he just handed it to and there's a lovely like you could just see his little face and it was like friends yeah yeah yeah let's think back as well listeners to you know you on twitter in 2009 one of your fourth tweets was you and tom like chatting well that's very normal to you but people don't I don't think people think people think when someone's in a position of doing these kind of shows and something they're working these people that they've been friends for 10 years.

It's so great that you've gone through that together. You're in that double axe and now you are still in a double axe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In a way. 100%. It's great. It's absolutely great. So, because at the moment, if he complains about me, I am going to see it.

Yes, truth, truth. I want to now, I want to reintroduce the anonymity of social media for him. And I'll follow Ed Gamble so I can learn about fitness and heavy metal. Okay, sick. That's good. Good answer. Yeah. So, Nishy.

Yes. Thank you for coming. Thank you so. I know you've had a mad week and you're a very busy man, but you're a bit of a friend to my sister for 10 years and we always love you. I love you both. It's been a pleasure to be here with the Martin sisters. I mean, it always is.

What did I say before the Macrolled out? What was he called? The TikTok Mittford. Yeah. Neither of us are on TikTok. Now we are. It's the vibe that. I fact, we were actually talking this day.

We should do a TikTok. We got drunk and went, we should do a TikTok. But as we left, we were like, we won't do a TikTok. No, no, no, I'll see you tomorrow. But that's what we'll do. We'll do TikTok, Mittford. Amazing. Please like and subscribe.

We'll just go deep into your own grid and just send us your weird and wonderful, very early Instagram posts or Twitter screenshots and we will repost our faves. Yes, and also remember, have a thing about your relationship with social. Don't get too precious about it. It's meant to be fun, but if you're really worried, then you might as well as to look later. Bye! Bye!

Thank you.