Mike Birbiglia's Working It Out - 124. Chris Distefano: Crowd Work With The Mob

Episode Date: March 4, 2024

This week Mike welcomes Comedy Cellar friend and comedy star Chris Distefano. Chris’s shares important lessons in failure: how a bad set got him booked on Letterman, and the advice his wife gave him about not listening to studio executives. Mike and Chris also dissect Chris’s famous 9/11 story, and why Chris’ “worst gig” story involves an actual knife at his throat.Please consider donation to the Tunnel to Towers Foundation

there have been times where I've been offered like, hey, do you want to do an ad, you know, be like a voice for a draft game? You know, you're the Brooklyn guy and you want to, and my dad's always thing was, he was like, I never, ever, ever want you to even learn about sports gambling. I don't want you to know what a spread means.

I don't want you to know what the Vig is. So all my friends who are doing this gambling every weekend of football, it's like genuinely a foreign language, those and cards. Like if you could put out a deck of cards in front of me right now, I would have no idea what spades or clubs. I don't know, because that was his one promise to me.

He was like, I really don't even care if you do heroin. Just do not, do not get involved in gambling. It ruined my life. So, you know- I think it's a bad advice about heroin though. Yes, true. Yeah, I know. He's wrong.

He's wrong. Yeah. Heroin's really bad. I know. All right, I'll make a note. It's wrong. Heroin's really bad. I know. All right, I'll make a note. It needs to be me telling you right now, do not try heroin. That is the voice of Chris DiStefano.

Chris is a comic that I've known from the Comedy Teller here in New York for years and years and years. We talk about this today at the show, but he has had one of the most extreme comedy trajectories. Like, he's just blown up. And I'm thrilled for him. He's very funny. He's got tons of jokes.

He's got tons of stories. But then also, he's just, you kind of get a sense of who he is. And he can kind of speak as himself. And I think long-term he's looking to maybe develop something that has an even more kind of personal bent to it. And I think it's really cool. I'm really excited to see sort of where it all goes. He's on tour all over the place right now. He's in London, Liverpool, Dublin, Tarrytown, New York, Dubai.

I mean, the guy is just everywhere. I've seen him perform live. He's an incredible live performer. I highly recommend seeing him if he is coming to your town. Meanwhile, I am also out on tour with an all-new hour of comedy. I'll be in Jacksonville, Florida, Orlando, Aspen, Colorado, Beaver Creek, Colorado, Fort Collins, Denver, Tulsa,

Dallas, Houston, Austin, San Antonio. We added a third show in Chicago at the Chicago Theatre, Los Angeles, Troy, New York, Rochester, New York. We're just about to add another show in Toronto, probably a fourth and final show in Toronto.

By the way, join the mailing list because you'll be the first to know about when we do stuff like that. Like, for example, we're going to add a show in Washington, D.C. The first people to know will be the people on the mailing list and here on the podcast. So I'll be in Toronto, St. Petersburg, Florida,

Miami Beach, Florida, Atlanta, Charlotte, Richmond, Niagara Falls, which I've never performed in Niagara Falls, at the OLG stage at Fallsview Casino. And then this summer, in July, I'm going to be at this adorable, gorgeous little theater that I love in the Hamptons called the Bay Street Theater. It's in Sag Harbor, New York. Bay Street Theater. I actually performed there a bunch in the last few years. It is a blast and it's just gorgeous and it's like intimate and it was, yeah, I've had some great times there. So all of that's on burpigs.com. Join the mailing list. But today on the show, we have Christy Stefano. Chris has a ton of energy. We talk about the importance of failure as well as success, how failure played into his first Letterman

appearance. That's a fascinating story. We talk about being parents. He's a parent as well. How that affects creativity. He's got great perspectives on that. He also talks about the time a mobster almost killed him. So there's that. That's the tease. And if you like him here on the podcast,

you should watch his Netflix special, which is called Special Weshie. It's really funny. He filmed one of the funniest thing about that special we didn't even talk about on the episode is that he filmed it on his own. So I think he financed it on his own. And then he says at the end of the special, thanks for supporting me. This is not going to be on Netflix or any of the other streamers. And then I'm watching it on Netflix. So clearly something happened and there's no explanation of it. But it's a special that makes me laugh really hard. Enjoy my conversation with the great Chris DiStefano. were it not for the comedy seller i don't think you and i would be friends i don't think we'd be necessarily friends with mateo or jesse curson or schultz or like a lot of john lasser or like a lot

of these people right but it's i think it's the way they curate the shows there. Yeah. They curate shows where a bunch of comedians are not similar to each other at all. What they have in common is they kill. Right. Yeah. And I feel like I always know now, no matter what,

like if my family's not home or if sometimes they'll like go away for the weekend and wife's parents' house or whatever, I'm like, I can just go to the comedy cellar and just sit and my friends will be there. You know, my friends from home are great, but a lot of times they just want to drink and chill in the same bar.

And it's like, which is good. Sometimes I love to do that too. But sometimes, and I'm like, you know what? I kind of just want to sit and be around people and not really have to say anything, but like kind of learn. Yeah. I go to the comedy cellar.

That's interesting. I just sit and listen. And I'm just like, you know, whatever, chime in if I can. But I'm like, oh, I feel like smarter. I almost feel like sometimes you just go sit at the comedy cell and either watch the other comics or just listen to their convo. It's like, you're doing the work. You're doing the work for your art. You're kind of like getting, you're getting better. Like, I feel like I took a step forward just sitting there. I feel like, when did you start hanging out there? Like 10 years ago? I got in there.

So I got into the Comedy Cellar in 2014. Okay. Okay. From 2014 till early 2017 in nearly three calendar years, I got five spots. No way. And I sent in my availability. When to when? Every single week from about early 2000, from like mid 2014

to early 2017. So two and a half. That's so funny. Every weekend. Like a psycho. Explain avails though because it's like, it's time consuming.

Okay, so now it's email. Back then, you would have to call the comedy club, the very notorious booker, Esty of the comedy cellar who's booked there for the last 30 years. Beloved. Also, in my dreams, I'm afraid of her.

She knows this about me. Yes. Yes. I, you know, she's got like anybody you've ever heard of in comedy. Yeah. She's booked, right? And she's booked. Chris Rock, Ray Romano, Seinfeld, on and on.

Right? On and on. So, like the key, right, to the New York City comedy scene. So you get in. The way it used to work is you needed one or two comedians who were already performing at that club to vouch for you. And back then, the only people who were performing at the Comedy Cellar were almost like bona fide celebrity comedians. You had to have all these credits and whatever. So my guy was Artie Lang.

Artie Lang, of course, super famous from Howard Stern Show. Sure. For years and years. Has had a serious drug problem. Very serious, almost killed him. Yep. Seems to be doing okay. He's doing okay now.

Yep, he's back, you know, I think gonna start to make a comeback here pretty soon. But he, I was at Caroline's and I was just somebody that didn't show up. And Louis Ferranda, who's the booker of Caroline's, I would just hang around like a comedy club rat. I was just there. I would host for him. I would just be there. It was like brand new at comedy.

And he was like, Stefano, go up there. So I went up there and I wasn't necessarily funny yet, right? But I was doing the things like that I thought were funny from the things I had seen in my neighborhood, you know, growing up, like, you know, start make fun of somebody's shirt, like, look at this asshole. And like, you know, things like that, that Artie Lang is from similar. Artie's from Jersey. I was from Brooklyn, but it's very similar. So he straight up told me after he was like, listen, you don't, you, I think you have something. You don't have the jokes yet. He's like, why don't you come on the road with me? I think my crowds will like you and you can watch me and get better and you'll get your first shot at the road. So my very first show, I go out

to 2,500 people at the Count Basie Theater. So whatever that is. Yeah, Jersey, yeah. 2,500 people at the Count Basie Theater. So whatever that is. Yeah, in Jersey, yeah. Humongous place. Yeah. I go out there and already, it says, just go out there, do five minutes, bring me up.

It was a two-man show. Do five minutes, bring me up. So I'm like, okay. I mean, I've never performed for more than 20 people. I walk out, I'm wearing a purple shirt, like a purple button-down shirt, jeans, shoes. So packed house from like the last row, somebody goes, nice shirt, pussy. Oh my God. Yeah. Crushes, right? People are like, ah,

you know? And then people start heckling me and I'm just trying, I don't have the chops yet. So I'm like, you know, you guys ever go to England? Like, you know, like, I had this whole bit about how English is not really English, right? And just a bombing, right? I get maybe 90 seconds in, Artie comes over, the voice of God, Mike. In the background, he comes over. He goes, leave him alone, guys.

Leave him alone. He's a good kid. And then people start cheering because they hear Artie's voice. And then, I swear. So I could see him, you know, behind the curtain, you know? Like, I see him. And then he goes, just come off. So he goes, all right, I'm coming up, fuckers.

And then walks out, and they go crazy. Oh, my God. Yeah. No. Yes. And already killed. And then literally we went, took me out for pizza. We went.

He was like, this is what happens on the road. Don't worry about it. And then he just was like, next time that happens, though, you have a comeback immediately. He was like, it's almost like if you say anything back, you'll be in charge because you're the one with the microphone but i just said nothing like i almost said give it up for that guy that was a good one oh my god yeah give it up for that guy that's a good one yeah wait hold on so this is like a thing where one time i i said to liz one of the managers of the Comedy Cellar, I go, who you love, right?

You love Liz. She's great. She's great. Either Liz is on your side or she's not. And she is on our side, thankfully. So she's great. I think she has great taste. And I said to her once, I go like,

who is, because I'm obsessed with this as a concept. I go, who wasn't funny and now is great. She goes, Chris is definitely number one ever. Oh, really? Wow. Yeah. That's nice. Like didn't have it, has it times a million.

I appreciate that. But you know what she said? She had an addendum. She goes, it's because he had kids. Yeah. Do you think that's true? I do. I think that's true. And I think that I, I think having my child,

but I think as equal is the failure that I experienced in the business, like constantly failing, going after stuff that traditional industry, want a sitcom, a comedy special, a late night set. I did these things. I did the sitcom pilot, it failed. I did the comedy specials and the late night sets.

They came and went, nobody cared. And then I have my kid and I'm like, you know, upset. I'm not on a Variety's top 10 comics to watch list or something. And I have this three month old baby and I'm talking to Jasmine, my wife, girlfriend. And I'm like, you know, like I didn't get on this list. And she was like, this list and these lists

are not gonna pay for our baby's food. She was like, who cares about the list? She was like, what you need to do is put your career in the hands of your fans. She was like, I'm not from this industry. Every time you introduce me to one of these executives, they sound like a fucking idiot to me. She was like, I know for a fact

they have no idea what they're talking about. And half the time they're telling you what's funny and she like names her name. She goes, I know that a fact they have no idea what they're talking about. And half the time they're telling you what's funny. And she like names her name. She goes, I know that motherfucker ain't funny. Because she's a Puerto Rican girl from Sunset Park. So she's just very raw. She's like, I know that motherfucker wasn't the class clown. I know he wasn't.

So you need to start to, you are in charge. And she's like, and you're in charge of this family. And you've now decided to quit your physical therapy job and go all in with comedy. Well, now we have our daughter. So you need to do something. She was like, you know, I hear you talking to Mike Cannon who's one of my best friends.

And we host my, co-host my podcast with me now. She was like, you know, you'll talk for an hour to Mike about who's on the list and why you're not. And you're not writing jokes. She was like, what about going downstairs and doing something? You know, she was even mentioned the comedy. So she's like, you talk about the comedy seller. you're never there. They don't book you. Wow. And initially I was taken as like,

she doesn't understand my process and maybe she's not the right girl for me. And she doesn't understand shit. And she's not a comic and she didn't even go to college and all these things. Right. And then when the kind of settled down at night, I was like, you know, she's fucking right. Yeah. Like you can't imagine she's right. So I was like, the fundamental difference came then. I said, I'm not putting my career in the hands of the industry anymore.

Yeah. I said, I'm gonna put it, I'm gonna put it in the hands of my fans. Yeah. And I said, so I'm gonna, and I'm gonna control my output and not care about my outcome. I was, my father would always say that to me since I was a little kid. He would always say, it's all about your output and not care about my outcome. My father would always say that to me

since I was a little kid. He would always say, it's all about your output, not your outcome. This world, America, this country's focused on outcomes. It's all about your output. That's the thing that matters. Because my father failed a lot too. He was like, I was always controlled in the outcome

and look at how much I fucked my life up. You can't control the outcome. He was like, I wish I would have just controlled my effort. And so I want you as my son. So I started to do that. And I started to say, you know what? Maybe I am funny. Maybe I do know these things.

Cause I was always felt like an imposter. And then luck though happens, right? Because then I was in there. I started to get one or two more spots, more in the comedy cellar, but late 1150, 1 a.m. Nobody saw it. And then I got, I was just up there, at the Olive Tree Cafe sitting at the table and somebody canceled their spot.

I had 11 o'clock spot, but I was there at seven o'clock. I was writing, eating the chicken wings, whatever. I was just there in what I thought was my office. And somebody canceled their spot last minute and they didn't have a comic. So I went up at like, call it 8.30. And as I'm up on the McDougal Street stage, the main one, Gnome, the owner of the club,

was walking to the bathroom. And I had hit on a big laugh on something. And I saw him stop and look at me and start watching me. And he stayed for my whole set. And then I kind of felt his eyes on me. So I was like, you need to like, I think you have a chance here. So you need to like go do your A material. I had a plan of like doing, I was like out the window, go do this, your David Letterman set, like go do that. And so I did it and it hit harder and harder. And then went upstairs, didn't hear anything. Like I thought, whatever, it just came and went. But I was thinking, well, I control my effort. I had a good effort in front of the owner, whatever. Next thing i call in for my spots i get like 10 of

them which i never gotten like 10 and then i'm just this is like your rudy moment yeah and then i'm just in and then it's no i'm talking to me esty liz for the first time being like uh you know do you want more spots my god is this 2017 this is 2017 and no it's not like they ever said you not like they ever said no then he changed they ever said- No, then he changed. It's just, nobody said anything to me. Nobody ever said, Liz never said what she told. She never told me that. It just, things changed.

So then I started to go up and up and move. And then I finally felt like, holy shit, the first time I ever sold out was Hilarities in Cleveland. I had sold out the weekend finally. And that was the last weekend of February, 2020. So I had a whole tour being sold out and then bang, the pandemic. Wow.

And so I was like, I thought I was gonna get it. I have this sold out rooms. The next thing was looking like, Pittsburgh looked like it was on its way to sell out. I had shows in Detroit. They were gonna sell out, all canceled. Yeah. Pandemic.

So I said, okay, now what? Cause I was like, who knows when the world's coming back? Some initially they were saying comedy won't be back for years and whatever. And I said, I was doing podcast history, Hyenas at the time with Yannis Papas. And I said, him and I spoke and I was like, yo, we got the whole like world,

is that their computer right now? And it was Yannis' idea. He was like, we should start doing the whole like world. There's not their computer right now. Yeah. And it was Giannis' idea. He was like, we should start doing our podcast every single day. And I was like, let's do it. And then it became a lot of our peers or like people in other industries start to like sink in the pandemic,

but I started to go up. Yeah. I started to, and so by the time the pandemic came out, I went from selling out 400 seats to next thing you know, the Beacons, 2000 seats sold out. And it all happened in those few months with the pandemic. But the one thing I've learned is, I'm bringing this all up to say is like,

and I tell my daughters this, is like the movies are not real. Life is real. So in the movies, there's a triumphant scene and somebody says something and then your life changes. That doesn't happen. It all happens very, very slowly. And all of a sudden you wake up and you're like,

oh shit, these goals that I didn't even know that I was reaching for are being reached. And then you can get used to success and not think you're doing as well as you were because you've grown so much. So then when you get to a certain place, you have to know how to say, well, now I'm in like a maintenance phase

and now I've kind of reached a lot of these goals. So I gotta be happy with what I have. And I gotta think about everything I do have, not worrying about the things I don't have yet. Cause then the goalposts just, it keeps moving. So I'm like at a place now where I have everything that I want. And if you let me push a button and say,

Chris, this will be your life for the next 20 years. You will not get any higher and you won't get any lower. I would push it immediately. Cause I feel like I'm at exactly where I need to be. And I don't have this like yearning for more. Yeah. You and I have this thing in common. You were saying that Jasmine encouraged you to like not look at the lists and all that kind of stuff. Yeah. Jenny was similar. Like Jenny and I met 20 years ago. She saw like an early version of sleepwalk with me. And she saw, years ago, she saw like an early version of Sleepwalk With Me and she saw, which at the time was just like a solo show, like at UCB at like 5.30s on Tuesdays. You know what I mean? Like nobody was in the audience, like nobody. And she saw me do my comedy specials on Comedy Central.

And she was like, the Sleepwalk With Me thing is just more interesting. It's more you. It's more unique. It's more original. It made no money. You know what I mean? Like, I would perform for free, and whereas the Comedy Central version of myself was profitable. But she was like, and the reason I bring it up

is I think sometimes it takes someone who you implicitly respect, love, and trust to say to you, here's the truth. Right. The truth is you should be doing this thing even though it seems like you should be doing this thing. Right. I think who you are, I mean, this is like who you're in love with is oddly as influential as anything in your life. To me, love is like the only actual real power and currency there is. Everything else, right, is kind of man-made. But for me, it's like, I see that with kids where I'm like,

okay, I don't know whoever God is to you, whatever that's, it's whatever you want. know whoever God is to you, whatever that's, it's, it's whatever you want. All I know is, is like when I had kids, like this kind of love that I don't need my, when I tell my kids, I love them. I don't care if they say they love me back. It's not, I don't, I, you can love me or not love me. I, for some reason was given, I was given, you were given to me. You're right. My children are the only people in my life. I didn't choose that. Like they, they, you were given to me. My children are the only people in my life I didn't choose. They were chosen for me. I don't know what happened. I had unprotected sex and then I was given this spirit and I'm like, holy shit, this is love. It's from this higher power. I can't explain it. Everybody else I'm choosing, but not them. They were given to me. They were chosen for

me by something. So with this love, I'm like, oh, this is like this power of love. And I can't even, you know, sometimes with things like you can't even articulate them. It's just like a feeling. I'm like, oh, that is like the first kind of selfless feeling, truly selfless feeling I had was when I became a parent. And I think that's when Liz from the Comedy Cellar says, oh, he went from kind of zero to. And I think that's when Liz from the comedy seller says, oh, he went from kind of zero to nothing. I think I was being, you know, subconsciously motivated by that. I was like, oh, it's not about me anymore. Now it's like all those ideas that were half-baked in the back of your head, they need to come out now. And, you know, you see like, it really is that like thing

that, you know, our grandmothers have told us for years is like sink or swim. Yeah. And I really do think like, you know, a guy get to me, it's like, I judge a person by how they fail. I mean, that's when I did David Letterman and the way it works for when you do Letterman, any late night set, especially in the beginning, especially when you have no credits is they will come and watch you, the bookers, not David Letterman, the people David Letterman has hired to book his show will come and watch you at different comedy clubs, right? So they're doing the David Letterman showcase show. I'm not on it. Again, I was just hanging out there

because I was doing the next show and I wanted to watch the showcase. So at the end of the show, the last Letterman comic who was showcasing goes up. They had 10. They still had about 15 minutes left of showtime, so they have to drop the checks. People at home don't know the check spot is notoriously very difficult. It's literally waiters and waitresses dropping the checks on the comedy club. Nobody is

listening to you. Nobody. It's so hard. And you are literally performing in front of a crowded cafeteria and nobody cares. So Lewis goes, you need to go fill the check spot. I said, the Letterman people are there. He goes, they don't care. And he didn't, was no hate in his heart because I was brand new. I was two, three years in. He goes, they don't care about you.

They're not watching you. So he was like, just go up there and do it. So I say, okay. They don't care about you. Yeah, so again, I'm always thinking, especially early on in my comedy career, I was always had my dad's words in my head. Not so much anymore, but I got to retrain myself career, I was always had my dad's words in my head.

Not so much anymore, but I got to retrain myself. But I was like, control the effort, control the effort, control the effort. So I go up there and I just start, you know, you have to be clean to get on Letterman. But I'm like, they don't care about me. So I'm just going to start doing my comedy. I was doing comedy about how my thumbs were flexed in and how I, you know, my hands look like Tostitos scoop chips.

And I'm doing jokes about like, you know, I think I might've had an eating an ass joke in there. You know, my, and I'm just going out there, I'm doing crowd work, fucking around. And I start hearing them start to listen to me a little bit, not crazy, but they're listening. And then I see, and then I see one of the bookers go like this, put his head and start looking at me. And I was like, oh shit. You know, I had a flashback to that a couple of years later when I did the comedy cellar and I said, Gnome started looking at me. I flashed back to Letterman

because that had happened already. And I was like, oh shit, this guy's looking at me. So I do what I think at the time is some of my better jokes. So anyway, go, don't hear anything, couple of days, of course. But I was like, whatever, I did the best I could. Then I had a manager at the time.

He calls me and he says, hey, the Letterman people want you to come back. He goes, they did a showcase of 10 people. You're the only one they want to come back. I said, I didn't even, I cursed. I had, they were like, they said you had likability. So they want you to come in now with whatever six minutes, five, six minutes

of squeaky clean material you got, they want you to come in now with whatever six minutes, five, six minutes of squeaky clean material you got. They want to see it. So I said, I don't really have that. He said, well, you need to start thinking about it. And he said, you need to start thinking about it. Because they want to start to see. You need to start thinking about that. They want to see you.

So I said, well, what do you think I should do? He goes, talk about your family. I didn't have any material about my family. This is crazy. On like a week's notice? Like about maybe a week, 10 days later. Wow. He goes, talk about your family. Talk about your dad. I never talked about my dad. Wow. Talk about your dad. And so I was like, okay, you know what, man? Go to all these open mics, all these friends you have, do it. So I go, I put together a set. It goes okay. They're like, come back next week, right? So then I start crafting the set and then it starts to become like a pretty strong set. And it's getting like real laughs in front of them, like real laughs. Like one time I even

got like an applause break and I was like, oh my God, but I'm never getting booked. Never. Yeah. They're not booking you. This goes on for like three months, never getting booked. Every week, it was like a part of my ritual. Wednesdays, they would come see me at Caroline's and I would just do this. Really? I swear to God, because you know- The Letterman people. Because the Letterman's not that far from Caroline's, so they would just come and watch. So they're watching, keep coming, right? I'm not getting booked. So finally, it's a slow night at Caroline's, you know, whatever, 20, 30 people in the crowd. Same thing, do the set for them, Caroline's, you know, whatever, 20, 30 people in the crowd, same thing, do the set for them,

bombed, like a full zero, bombed. But I did the set, just did it. Manager calls me the next day. He goes, what happened last night? That's how he starts the combo. He goes, what happened last night? And I said, man, I bombed hard. I said, it was the crowd. There's 20 people from whatever, Sweden. I said, I would assume that's it. I said, but at least, you know, maybe they'll keep me in mind for something in the future or whatever. He goes, no, I meant what happened because they just called me and said, you're booked.

Oh my God. And I was like, what? He goes, you're booked, man. You are booked for next Thursday. And I was like, what? And he was like, they said they, you're in. And so I was like, he was like, you gotta go get a suit. So I went to Suffolk County, Long Island,

and I got a suit off the rack from Joseph A. Banks. If you go look at this suit, it's literally two sizes too big. I look like I'm wearing football shoulder pads, but that's the suit I went out in. And so I go out there and I do the set. And I felt like very like locked in, you know, it went well. And then when I got off, I said to the bookers, they were like, great job.

You know, great. Congrats on the first thing, whatever. Gave me the signed cue cards from Letterman. I was like, this is amazing. And I just said to him, I said, you know, I have to ask. I said, why did you wait till booking me after that show last week? And that guy, Alex, great guy, he was like,

well, we needed to make sure that you could fail professionally. Oh. That's all we were looking for is how do you face adversity? We know what you could do when it's going well, but they were like, we don't know who, you know, nobody knows you.

This is your first set, first ever TV credit. What if it didn't go your way and you imploded? He was like, cause you got no laughs last week. But he said, you, I could not tell that you were bombing. It looked like all the other times. You were unflappable. And that's all we needed to see. He said, we called David as soon as we left

and said, he's in. That's an incredible story. Cause they saw me fail. So I always remember that. That's an incredible story. Because they saw me fail. So I always remember that. It's key. Yeah. It's a key thing. You got to just do the show regardless of the condition.

Because you don't know. Yeah, you don't know. It goes back to like just control, you know, whatever, control your effort. If you're doing the best you can, whatever that means to you, then really what else is there for you to decide? So when you did the stuff about your dad, I mean, the thing that really blew you up was the stuff about your dad with 9-11, which is kind of a famous story now. I'm going to paraphrase so as to not make you do it, but you can correct me.

But it's basically like 9-11, you get in a fight with somebody at school, you're in school, you get kicked out of school, your dad comes in and essentially threatens the principal and then you're readmitted in school. Is that the gist of it? That's it, that's it because I thought my mom was dead because she worked in the World Trade Center. And so in the second tower though, like, so she survived,

but all boy Catholic high school, my immediate reaction when the teacher came in and said, boys, we're under attack. Two planes just hit the towers. So that's all-boy Catholic high school, which is a breeding ground for firemen, cops, West Point. There was no like, well, this could be, they were like, we're under attack. The United States is under attack. And so it hit me like with so much emotion. And I was just thought about my mom and I immediately, you know, we would all smuggle our cell phones into the class, try to call her. It's phones, it's not even going through because everybody was trying to call that day.

So I just started to cry. And then a kid, again, we're all boys, just starts laughing at me. So I just broke my chair right over his head. I just took the, you know? And so that story though, if you look at it, Chris DiStefano 9-11 story, the version that went viral

and that kind of people know me for in some circles was the version that went viral and that, you know, kind of people know me for in some circles was the version that I always wanted to do was the unedited raw version. Cause I had told that same story on my Comedy Central hour special the year before, but due to certain things, I had to cut this word, cut that, edit this, edit that because you know how it is. It's Viacom and whatever. It's no, the Comedy Central people did what they had to do, but it didn't go anywhere. Nobody cared. It wasn't until I actually did it at the Comedy Cellar,

raw, I did it for the room. So I did it actually on 9-11 in 2019. Oh, you did it in 9-11? That was September 11th, the day I filmed that. Oh my gosh. So I felt like nobody was addressing the elephant in the room, which was it's 9-11, it's a somber day. You know, we're in West Village.

You could see the Freedom Tower, right? The old tower, sure. So I was like, you know what? I'm just going to go up there and I'm just going to just for the room. I'm doing this set for the room. And so I was like, I'm just going to start talking about it. And then right away started to like release the room. I'm doing this set for the room. And so I was like, I'm just gonna start talking about it. And then right away started to like release the tension. I was like, well, now I'm going to tell the story.

And I knew it was something because Liz and then all the waiters and waitresses were all stopped in the corner and watching. And other comics started to come down and watch. And I was like, oh shit. And then as soon as I got off stage, Liz was like, you need to, I'm gonna send you this tape. You need to put that shit on the internet right now and I was hesitant because I was like no no no I was like I can't put something I was like this was for this room and

she was like stop you need to put that shit out now I think it's going to heal people that's going to help people who lost someone in 9-11 you can use proceeds from whatever that makes on YouTube to go to a 9-11 foundation. There's a million things you could do. You need to put that out. She was like, that's going to make people happy. And it's interesting, put it out and it started to go viral right away. And that story, what I really took from it was I just did exactly what I wanted to do and the way I wanted to do it, raw, unedited. Yeah. And that's the thing that people responded to. With your dad, the way you depict him in the 9-11 story is pretty aggressive was he always like that no he was aggressive more when before when i was younger yeah and mainly before i was born

had like a gambling issue and all that stuff that's all been corrected now you know the the thing like about him his character right that I've created is it's a bit of an amalgamation between other people in my life. But the real part of it is my parents got divorced, right? So when I was one, like immediately divorced, right? Because I get it. I get it. My dad is, I love hanging out with my dad, but even me as a kid, I was like, I fully get my mom had to divorce you. I mean, you're fucking nuts. It's great, it's great, but giving me hot dogs, sodas,

taking me to the racetrack. So like fun shit for kids, but like obviously a woman was like, well, I'm not gonna commit my life to this man, but he is the kid's father. So taking me to the racetrack. Oh yeah, and I swear to God, people think I make, this is not a bit.

He would take me to the racetrack, we'd gamble on the horses, and then he'd be like, Chris, what do I tell? What are we gonna tell not a bit. He would take me to the racetrack. We'd gamble on the horses. And then he'd be like, Chris, what do I tell? What are we gonna tell mom? I'm like, we went to the zoo. Exactly, went to the zoo. So he would be like, so I would tell my mom I went to the zoo all the time.

And so, and she believed, you know, she had no reason to question until he always would tell me when we would go to church, St. Matthias Church in Ridgewood, where I grew up, you could go right. The church was kind of like at the top of a triangle. So you could go right and get there or left and get there. My father always told me, go right.

When you go with your mother, you go right to the church. That's the better way to go. Because if I went left, I would walk past the OTB racetrack where he would always take me into and gamble and hang with his friends. And there was these lowlifes who just sit outside and smoke cigarettes and drink beers and shit. Oh yeah, those places are cautionary. They knew who I was. So my mom, my dad was like, I don't want you walking with your mother past

these guys. Cause if they find out that I take you in there, I'm going to get in trouble. So one day, I don't know why, I think I was actually on my Game Boy. So it's like kind of same way I were distracted by phones. It's like, we've always been distracted. I was distracted by my Game Boy walking. I don't even realize we're going left. And all of a sudden, I hear one of my dad's friends, Bobby go, Chrissy. And I was like, looked up. And then my mother grabbed me. She was like, how do you know that man? Because he looked like borderline homeless. He was like, I'll see you near this weekend. Oh my God. And so my mom was like, have you been going in there with your father? And I was like, you know, like, no. And she was like, have you been going in there with your father?

And I was like, you know, like, no. And she was like, have you been going in there with your father? And I'm like, no, well, once, but it wasn't a big deal. And so then I, you know, we go to church and my mom is just calls him and it's just fucking ripping him. And I'm like, oh shit.

So my dad puts me on the phone. He goes, what happened? I was like, well, I, you know, I went the wrong way. He goes, listen, he goes, one part of me wants to yell at you for, you know, ratting me out. He goes, but the other part of me doesn't want to yell at you. He was like, because you did the right thing. You came clean. You told, he goes, you came clean. He goes, but you know, you got to understand we can't go in there anymore. And he goes, and you know, some of the things that we do,

like I love you and Hank, you know, but he was like, we can't go and do those things anymore. And I, cause I used to have a lot of fun. He's like, you know, mom said we can't do those things anymore. And I said, yeah. And then I remember my mom telling him, she's like, he was like, you need to,

you need to go get help. Like you're a gambler. You need to go get help. Gamblers Anonymous, whatever. And then he went to his credit. He went, fixed his problem. And it's like a, and it's, and it's interesting because his big thing was sports gambling so i'm a guy you know i constantly not constantly there have been times where i've been offered like hey do you want to do a ad you know be like uh right do it do a voice for gambling you know you're the

brooklyn guy and you you want, and my dad's always thing was, he was like, I never, ever, ever want you to even learn about sports gambling. I don't want you to know what a spread means. I don't want you to know what the Vig is. So all my friends who are doing this gambling every weekend of football, it's like genuinely a foreign language, those in cards.

Like if you could put out a deck of cards in front of me right now, I would have no idea what spades or clubs, I don't know, because that was his one promise to me. He was like, I really don't even care if you do heroin, just do not, do not get involved in gambling. It ruined my life. So, you know. I think that's a bad advice about heroin though. Yes, true. He's wrong. He's wrong. Yeah. Heroin's really bad. I know. All right. I'll make a note. It needs to be me telling

you right now, do not try heroin. Take the syringe out. Do you have anything with your kids where you're trying to reverse what your relationship was with your parents? So yes, one thing that I think, again, it's my very good parents. My mom is a great woman. She's a very anxious woman.

So one thing that I highlighted about her that affected me subconsciously was almost anything I ever wanted to do from playing basketball to doing comedy to getting a different kind of haircut to anytime I took a chance, she would always be like, do you really think you should be doing that, Christopher?

Is that really actually what you wanna do? It was always like a sense of like, you're not, I'm not sure about this as your mother, so you shouldn't be sure about this either. It wasn't like, you know what? Follow your heart, follow your dreams. It was always like, I don't know about that, honey. I don't know if comedy is a good idea. It was always that. Yeah. And that affected me. It came from a place of love. Her non-believing in me, even in the beginning with comedy, they did not believe.

That's the one thing you know. As you know, like when you go to follow your dream, especially something like comedy, the people who are the closest to you are the ones who will believe in you the least. It's only because they love you the most. They want stability for you. That's all they want. They just want you to be safe.

So that's going to come off to you though as I don't believe in you. Yeah. So that hurt me. I don't think you're good. I don't think you're funny. I don't think you're talented. But it's really them just saying, I love you so much. I don't want you to get hurt. So I'm very, very conscious of now when my daughters, my little one is eight. One is eight, one is two. But I also have a 13 year old stepson. So my 13 year old stepson and my eight year old daughter, when they want to do anything, so long as it's safe, when they want to do anything, I support them right away. Like just today, there was a big argument in the house because it was dress down

day and my daughter literally, listen, she was dressed like a mailman. She looked like she worked somehow. It wasn't a US mailman. Right. it wasn't USPS. But she literally, she's a girl. She wanted to go dress today. She looked like a full-blown, she looked like a little boy mailman. And my wife is like, they're arguing up there. I don't want you, I want you to wear this or whatever. So I went up there and I said, look,

I pulled Jazz out to the side. I said, look, I'm on your side. I am always on your side. I said, we have to give her a win. We have to give Delilah a win. I said, let, I'm on your side. I'm always on your side. I said, we have to give her a win. We have to give Delilah a win. I said, let her express herself. She's like, yeah, but the kids are gonna make fun of her. I said, good, then she'll learn.

This will be a great learning day if they make fun of her. I said, you know what's gonna happen? Maybe they make fun of her. I got confidence. Her father's a professional comedian. She has comebacks, number one. I said, number two. He's got comebacks.

Number two, try my daughter. She'll fucking rip you, dude. She watches Anthony Jeselnik. So she'll rip you. So Dave Attell, Jeff Ross. And I said, but the other thing that could happen, 50 for the Chance, is they look at her as the coolest kid ever,

and then they start to follow in her footsteps. I was like, let her take a chance. And it's funny you're bringing this up because just this morning, six hours ago, I was like, Jazz, remember when I told you like my mom like never believed in me and never would like, like, I don't wanna do this to Delilah.

Like, let's just let her go out. Like, she'll be happy today. Went out, I swear, it was like a blessing. I'm so happy. We were a little late. We're like five minutes late for school. So normally like, you know, the kids are just going in, but when you're late, you have to ring the bell.

So we ring the bell and a teacher came to open up the door for her. And I was like, oh, hey, I'm here with Delilah. And she was like, okay. She goes, come in. She goes, whoa, cool outfit, sweetie. And then Delilah turned around and gave me a thumbs up. And I was like, you see, like, I'm happy that I did that.

And I know that my mom wouldn't have done that. And it's not, it's nobody's right or wrong. It's just, she would have been like, I don't want my kid to get made fun of at all where I'm taking that I did that. And I know that my mom wouldn't have done that. And it's not, it's nobody's right or wrong. It's just, she would have been like, I don't want my kid to get made fun of at all, where I'm taking the opposite approach. I'm saying, be who you are and you're gonna learn now, like what an amazing adult you'll be. If we've allowed you to express yourself as a child,

you're gonna be bulletproof by the time you're an adult with, I hope. So I try to think about that. I'm trying to do the best I can to educate myself on being a parent because my mom and dad were great parents truly, but there were no books back then. There was no internet back then. They would just kind of-

There were books. Right, but do you think my dad can read? Between heroin and the books, you got some, we got to fact check you on some of this stuff. Heroin's bad, and there were books when you were growing up. I lived in a different world, man. Where did you grow up? All right, so this is called the slow round.

What's the worst you've ever bombed? The worst I've ever bombed at the Comedy Cellar? Ever. In general. Ever. Okay, so in general, I bombed so hard once at, when I, so again, taking it back to Caroline's, Caroline's Comedy Club is just where I was

when I was in the beginning. Rest in peace, rest in peace. RIP, RIP. Caroline's Comedy Club, they really treated me great. I love the people there. I always, you know, remember them for how much opportunity they gave me. And so I used to open up for, I was the,

I was, you know, the MC, man. I would go in there and I would just open up for whoever was there. They, you know, I would do it. And one of the guys was Angel Salazar. Oh yeah. So Angel- Shake it out.

I opened for him in Cleveland once. He walks out, he goes, shake it out, Cleveland- Check it out! I opened for him in Cleveland once, and he walks out and goes, check it out! Cleveland! Check it out! That's his catchphrase. And his closer is he winds up getting into, like, you know, black leather underwear with, like, a whip. Right. Yes. Classic. Yes. So, he, and by the way, I mean, he's in, like,

classic films from, like, the 80s. Scarface. He's in Scarface? That's been his credit for, like, 35 years? So that's why I'm bringing it up, because he's known as the Scarface. He's in Scarface? That's been his credit for like 35 years? So that's why I'm bringing it up because he's known as the Scarface comic. So he gets a lot of mafia guys or kind of wise guys that will come to his shows. So I open for him, right?

And then these wise guys kind of, you know, talking to him after and like, ah, you were pretty good too, kid. And I'm like, oh, thanks. So like they tell Angel, they say, listen, next week we got a party at a restaurant in Queens. I think it was called like Spinelli's. Spinelli's? It doesn't matter, right?

Something. Yeah, Schoonjeeley's. And so he goes, we want to Angel. They're like, you know, we want to come down. You know, like we want you to perform. The restaurant's open. It's just the guys and their wives, right? So he's like, okay, I'll be there.

And then the guy says, and bring this kid. Bring him. Bring this kid. Bring this kid. That's so funny. I swear to God. Bring this kid. So Angel goes.

How old were you? 29. Okay, okay. So 28. So Angel goes, he goes, tells me when you? 29. Okay, okay. So 28. So Angel goes, he goes, tells me when they leave. He goes, okay. He goes, you come. He goes, I'll give you $20.

I was like, okay. I mean, I'm pretty sure he just said he was going to give you like $5,000 in cash. But I was like, so. I'm pretty sure he just said he was going to give you $5,000 in cash. I'm almost positive that's what he said. And so he's like, I'll give you $20. But what position was I in? I was like, all right, I'll be there.

So I go, I get to this restaurant, right? And it's like a back room of an Italian restaurant in Queens. Like, you know, it's what you think of it. Yes, I've played these before. Right. It's hard. It's hard. There's no stage, you know. There's a microphone with, like, you know, a speaker that you think of it. Yes, I've played these before. Right. It's hard. It's hard. There's no stage, you know.

There's a microphone with like, you know, a speaker that they bought at Best Buy. Like it's nothing professional. There's no light. And it's just these guys sitting around with their wives in suits, just whatever, hanging out. No introduction. The guy says, you know, who booked the show says, go up there, right? So these guys are getting their food and their pastas and their cakes, right? So I go up there and I'm, you know, bombing hard, right? I'm bombing like you can't imagine.

No laughs, basically. I mean, zero, nobody cares, you know, people being like, you know, what? What is this? Yeah, what did you say? What? I can't hear you, like that. So bombing. So I start to go into a little bit of crowd know, what? What is this? Yeah, what are you saying? What? I can't hear you. Like that. So bombing.

So I started to go into a little bit of crowd work, right? I was doing crowd work before. It was cool. And so I started to go into a little bit of crowd work. Where you ask the audience, where are you from? What do you do for a living? That kind of thing. So I make, I don't actually now remember what I said,

but I talked, some guys, you know, mafia guy's wife, I said something to her, like to the effect of like, you know, how's with this guy? Like, you know, kind of make it fun of the husband. And then they weren't laughing, but there was some energy in there. And then I felt the energy come out like that. And I even saw the guy who booked the show look,

I see people looking at the man I just spoke to, and then I see him just staring at me, like just fully staring at me. And then there was a guy sitting behind him who was with him, like it was this guy, his wife, and then a third guy, who was a part of their table, but sitting a little bit back. I come later to find out the man who I had offended was one of like the local mob bosses there. It was this, it was his muscle. And this was one of these guys. I don't know if you've ever seen these guys. You could see his muscle definition through his suit and, you know, head like a Frankenstein

head. And so I swear to God, I go, uh, I'm going to bring up Angel Salazar. And I swear to God, there is no energy, energy like nothing like no music nothing and you hear angel coming and goes check it out check it out like you know how he does walking right with his fucking check it out with like a boom box yeah doesn't he come on with the box yeah he's like check it out gonna and people are just like looking at him and they're still kind of like looking at this guy i had no idea who I offended. So I'm walking and I'm about five feet from the door

and the muscle guy grabs me, like grabs me by my shoulder and puts his elbow in my chest. And he goes, you thought that was funny? And I was like, I'm sorry, man. I'm just like doing comedy. He goes, you thought that was funny? And I swear to God, pulls out a knife.

No. I swear the tip of pulls out a knife. No. I swear, the tip of a knife, it's at my throat. He goes, how funny would it be if I cut your Adam's apple out and fed it to your mother? I was like, I don't know if that's appetizing, but I was like, it's a direct quote. And I was like, okay, that's a little strange. But I said, you know, I was like paralyzed with fear.

The owner of the restaurant says to the guy, he goes, put the fucking knife. What are you stupid? Put the knife down. And he goes, this guy just made fun of Johnny. He goes, put the fucking knife down. So the guy puts a knife down and he goes, I ever see you here again, you're fucking dead.

So I'm like, okay. So then the owner takes, he puts his arm around my shoulder. He takes me through the kitchen, okay? Because the door was right here. Takes me through the kitchen. And then he takes me down these stairs. There was like an office down there. I swear, I swear to God, when I'm walking down the stairs, I'm like, this is it. Like, I'm like, I'm going to get killed. Like whatever. He goes, I'm fucking sorry about that guy. Oh my God. He goes, listen. He goes, he's a wannabe. Oh my God. He goes, he's a wannabe.

He goes, the bottom line is a real guy, you would have been done. Oh my God. He goes, they're wannabes. He goes, here's the thing, right? He goes, what did they say we were paying you tonight? I said, Angel said about $20. He goes, he goes, all right.

He goes, listen, you're going to keep your mouth shut. You don't see anything, nothing you saw here. You're not going to tell anybody. I said, no. He goes, let me give you some money. Pulls out a wad of cash. He gave me like $1,500 in cash. Just bang on the table.

I had maybe, you know, $180 in my bank account. $1,500 in cash. He goes, that's from us. Don't tell anybody anything. Just beat it. So I took the money, right? I'm like shaken up, right? Because I'm like, what the fuck?

Took the money, left, got out of there. I was like looking over my shoulder. And then I call my father. Because my dad is, again, like more soft, not from that, you know, not that kind of guy. By this time, he was more soft. But he still like has some of it in him. Yeah, he grew up in that universe.

He grew up in it. So, and he's never frazzled by anything. If I would've told my mother, you know, this almost happened, oh my God, call the police. So I said, dad, you know, I just did a gig, you know, like it was horrible. Like I bombed and then I pissed somebody's wife off, I think I said, and then the guy put a knife to my throat.

He goes, whoa, whoa. He goes, what kind of knife? And I was like, I don't know why that's relevant. I said, I don't know. It was a steak knife. He goes, all right. He goes, what'd you say? I was like, I really don't know. I was like, I made fun of like his wife, made fun of the guy to his wife. He's like, you can't do that. He said, where were you? I said, I'm at like this new restaurant, like that's just opening. It's like their soft opening in Queens. He was like, where? I. It's like their soft opening in Queens.

He was like, where? I was like, Lefferts Boulevard. He goes, Johnny? And I said, yeah, Johnny. That's the guy I pissed off. He goes, no. He goes, that guy, he's fucking, he's a local little guy. He was like, that guy wasn't going to fucking do anything to you. He goes, don't worry about it. Go home. Everything's fine. He goes, I think I know somebody in that area. Nothing's gonna happen. He goes, but just don't tell anybody about this. And at that time I had no platform to tell anybody about this until now. Wow.

Your worst bombing story is an assault. Yes, yes. It's a bonafide assault. Yes, oh yeah. But you know what my father told me back then? He goes, well, what are you gonna do tomorrow? And I said, I don't know, I guess go to work. I guess I'll go.

I was a physical therapist. I said, I guess I'll go to work and like go see a movie. He goes, no. He goes, you're going to go to work and you're going to go right back on stage. Yeah. He was like, you get right back up there. Come on.

He goes, do you think anything worse can happen to you than what happened to you tonight? Exactly. I was like, I mean, I guess he could have killed me. And he was like, go right back on stage. And that's what I did. But that is a bombing story. It taught me a little bit to be like,

hey, be careful who you fuck with. But now I probably at that time was a little bit more abrasive than I realized. But now with experience, like I would know now, I wouldn't kind of highlight, this guy's not laughing at anything. So don't fuck with him. with yeah you'd read the room a little bit but i didn't know how to do that no i was just nervous yeah wow yeah have you done that on stage no you gotta do that on stage come on yeah i mean i have i have a mobster story where i insulted some mobsters

and realized that they almost were gonna kill me at a casino in Connecticut. Years ago, Mohegan said, it's not half as good as that story. I mean, the guy's threatened to kill me, literally threatened to kill me, but there's no knife to my neck. Your shit has high stakes. Yep. Really high stakes.

Real shit. All right, a couple of new jokes I have. Okay. I don't know if they're anything. I've been trying, I've done this a few times on stage, but when you're married, people always are like, how do you like marriage? And I think it's a very general question

for a specific personal experience. I feel like saying like, I like my wife. I'd hate to be married to your wife. That seems awful. You know, that seems like a debacle. This is going well. You got sort of a gas station McDonald's.

I got a freestanding Ruby Tuesdays. Ruby Tuesdays is a good one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I've been trying to get that to work because, and maybe as a jumping off point into the specificity of life and existence, which is like, people always ask you general, how's your life going? How's this going? How's your wife?

How's your marriage? It's like, well, you couldn't possibly answer. Right. You know what I mean? Because there's so many, that's such a loaded question because it's like, yes, I am very happy and feeling fortunate, but it's also like, you know, there's a stress-induced thing. I mean, just getting my kids to the school on time

is like a full-on like race. My blood pressure might be 250 over 150 in those 10-minute spans, but like the rest of the day is pretty good. No, the same is pretty good. No, the same thing this week. Jen sprained her ankle. My daughter has some version of the flu where it's creating pain all over her body. She can't really walk.

My dad's in the hospital. He has a stroke. And people are like, how's your life? I'm like, it's pretty good. Yeah, it's pretty good. I'm doing my best. A lot of a lot of my day is like pure hell. And then you have a moment where you're like reading a book for 45 minutes.

Yeah. Oh, this is nice. Yeah, I'm in my home with my family. Dude, it's like one of those things where it's like, listen, you know, people don't, you know, can't have kids or whatever, you know, feel for them. But like, if you don't have children, if you're like, you know, in your 30s or 40s

and you don't have kids, fine, whatever you want to do. But you got to understand like you're living such a radically different life than me. Like I remember there was a time, my friend, no kids, he'll call me sometimes and like go on and on and on about his life's problems, which I'm at times like happy to deal with. But a lot of times like, dude, I got the kids like, dude, I don't know, you're 40 years old. You got to just figure this shit out. I can't help you, dude. You have all day to think. It's a tricky one. Yeah. I remember there was a guy, he was like like he was like really needed to help like life advice and i'm talking to him giving him my time and then i looked over and my seven-year-old

just was thinking it was funny because she didn't realize that was on she was sticking her foot in the nutribullet and i was like oh my god so i had to dive and unplug the nutribullet and you know oh my god yes like i'm literally giving this fucking idiot like he quit his job because he like right listen to podcasts about being an entrepreneur and i'm like dude i don't know you had a good job working for ups my kids are going to cut their toes off like you have to figure this shit out you gotta do this a bit okay on you done that on stage? No, that's more new. I thought we were in the neutral part.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you have a very unique ability in relationship to like who you are offstage and who you are onstage to play those against each other in a way that like bobs and weaves with the crowd.

So in other words, like today, we're having like a relatively real conversation about like our parents and our kids and our wives and all this stuff. And it's like, and then you can go into a completely absurd bit about the mafia for opening for Angel's House or whatever. And then you can come back to,

all we have is this moment right now. And this is what I care about. Let me tell you what I care about. And then also this come back to, you know, all we have is this moment right now. And this is what I care about. Let me tell you what I care about. And then also this other stuff happened. And I think as a comic and a person, you have a unique ability to like do both of those things. Well, that's why I told you when I texted you, I was watching your show in, I was in Phoenix. And I'm so inspired by your work because I'm like, you know, the thing that I know that you know about yourself is you know that the funny is coming.

You will start with something that is very deep when you're talking about your diabetes or when you think you're gonna die. And it's like this heavy thing that even somebody like me at this point in my career would be like, I gotta have a joke right now. I gotta have a joke right now. You don't, you like keep going.

And you're like, no, no, no, no. I'm gonna keep drawing them in. And then boom, there's always something like you rely on like that gift that you have, which is just find the funny. Because I'm still at a point where I wanna do what you're doing. I really do.

I like, I keep telling them, I wanna do that. But I'm like, joke every five seconds, joke every five seconds kind of thing, you know? Right. I mean, a lot of it is from the last two specials. It's like things in my journal that are definitively not funny when I write them down. Wow.

You know what I mean? It's like my journaling really follows the paradigm of the comedy is tragedy plus time. Like I write my journal when I'm sad, when I'm angry, when I feel terrible about something. And then I'll look at it like three months later, six months later. I'll be like, that's actually pretty funny.

Because that part of it resolved and we actually came to an agreement about this thing. But you're not intentionally writing to be funny. You're just writing down your thought. Yeah. Wow. That's cool. So it's literally the experience. And I actually, it's a good reminder for me to do it because I've actually had a really, really hard month between some stuff with my folks and stuff that's been really, really hard. I have to remind myself, it's a good reminder now to do that.

Because if I don't do it, that's the gym for me. Right. Writing my journal is going to the gym. Right. You should go to the actual gym, though. You think? You're saying that staring at my body, Right. You should go to the actual gym, though. You think? You're saying that's staring at my body, my upper torso? No, you look good, actually.

No, you look good. No, you should go to the gym. No, but like if you want to go to the gym, I could get you in the gym. No, I'm telling you, you should go to the gym. I could get you into the gym. No, you actually do. You do look good. The other special you were making fun of your weight, but you look better now.

Oh, my gosh. All all right i got one other joke i've been trying to get this to work but i sometimes you have jokes you're like i don't know if you have this where you write a joke and you're like it's too i always heard this about dangerfield like when rodney dangerfield was alive he would go on stage and he would read the joke on a card. And then if it worked, he would memorize it. Wow. Yeah. Interesting. I was like, oh, that's really smart because he'd write a ton of jokes.

Right. And he's like, I'm not going to memorize it if it's not good. Right. Anyway, I'm going to read you a joke. No matter what you do, your children will eventually reject you. One day I took my daughter to a horseback riding class, and it was like watching her grow up right in front of my eyes and then mount a horse and then trot away and leave me in the dust on a horse that I had paid for. And that's the best case scenario. She could

have trampled me to death with the horse. And I would have to say, thank you, Una, for trampling me with this horse. And my dying words would be, you're doing a great job. It was just like, to me, I mean, it's something that happened, but it's kind of a metaphor for the whole thing. Right. Which is like, you're just always failing. Right. And you're always like,

just essentially setting your child up to do something that's gonna like stomp on your own face. Oh yeah, like you just have to accept, like I have to accept in my family, I'm in fourth, fifth place in my own life. Like I just, I wanna be happy for me. I get all that, but it's like, I'll eat last. I'll get dressed last. Yeah. My TV show that I want to watch will be last. The best thing I think, I think where our reward as parents are going to be, what I really think

is it's kind of like this delayed gratification, right? Like, yes, you know, hopefully they say, love you, daddy, and all that right now. And my kids thankfully do, but it's going to be that delayed gratification where when they're older, when they don't need us, they'll come back to us and say, I wanna hang out with you. I wanna have dinner with you. I want you to meet my friends and family. Cause sometimes people are like,

you hear those kids that like, they're people in 20s, 30s, like, I don't wanna see my mom and dad. I don't wanna go near them. And I think that's not a failure, but that's gotta hurt those parents. And I think that's not a failure, but that's got to hurt those parents. And I think about that right now. I'm like, I want my kids to always be like,

we want to go back and hang with mom and dad. I mean, that's an example of like something you could put in your show as a real sentiment. Right. You know what I mean? Like that's how you really feel about something. And you can do a bunch of bits about your daughter's foot being in a blender and this and that. And then you can go back to the idea of like, look, here's what you really feel about something. And you can do a bunch of bits about your daughter's foot being in a blender

and this and that. And then you can go back to the idea of like, look, here's what I really want. I just want my kids to like, want to hang out with me when I'm older. I love the idea of like you directing like my new one man show. And it's still like the old me,

but like I'm trying to go towards the new thing where like I'm having these beautiful moments and like he's getting, and then I'll be like, come in the butt. And you'll be like, no, no, no, no, no. Lose that part, not that one. So the last thing we do in the show is called Working Out for a Cause.

Is there a nonprofit you like? So the nonprofit that I like the most kind of connected back to the 9-11 story is the Tunnel to Towers. Steven Siller, he was a firefighter. He died in 9-11. He ran, you know, the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel, when you're coming off, when you're going,

there's an underpass that right is on the FDR that you kind of come under it and then boom, the towers are right in front of you. You know what I'm talking about? That tunnel, right before you get into the battery tunnel, he ran from, I believe, a firehouse that was located in that area through there and got into the building to help people, but then died. Wow.

So it's a foundation for him that kind of helps 9-11 victims and their families and all that. So that's like a nonprofit that I love. Well, we're going to contribute to them. We're going to link to them in the show notes. And thanks, Chrissy, for coming on the podcast. Thanks for having me, my friend. That's going to do it for another episode of Working It Out. I love that Christy Stefano.

He's on tour now. You can see him all over the world. He'll be in Dubai, for God's sakes. And then Belfast. I mean, that's the world, right? You can follow Chris on Instagram at ChrisDComedy. And you can watch the full video of this interview

on my YouTube channel at Mike Birbiglia. Check that out and subscribe because we're posting more and more videos. It's really fun over there. Check out Birbigs.com. Join the mailing list. Our producers of Working It Out are myself, along with Peter Salamone,

Joseph Burbiglia, and Mabel Lewis, associate producer Gary Simons. Sound mix by Shubh Saran, supervising engineer Kate Belinsky. Special thanks to Jack Andinoff and Bleachers for their music. Special thanks to J-Hope Stein,

my wife, the poet. Special thanks, of course, to our daughter Una, who built the original radio fort made of pillows. Thanks most of all to you who are listening. If you enjoy the show, rate it and review it on Apple Podcasts. Say which episode is your favorite episode. Tell your friends, tell your enemies. So maybe you just performed comedy at an Italian restaurant, let's say.

And someone in the crowd wasn't a big fan of your material. Maybe they didn't like where it went after the show. They held a knife to your throat. You know, it happens. So Chris, our guest today, he handled it pretty well. But what I suggest is you say to the person, hey, instead of murdering me with that knife, why don't you check out this podcast hosted by comedian Mike Birbiglia?

Nah, nah, you don't have to worry about where you know him from. It's called Working It Out. It's where he speaks with other comedians and creatives about their creative process. I think you'd enjoy this podcast more than you'd enjoy killing me. Then, while they're putting their earbuds in, you run away. Thanks, everybody. We'll see you next time.

We'll be here working it out.