Mike Birbiglia's Working It Out - 219. Michelle Buteau: From TV News to Her Own TV Series

Episode Date: July 20, 2026

Michelle Buteau was a local TV news editor in New York until she tried stand-up for the first time, only days after 9/11. Since then she’s become an international touring comedian, bestselling author, and co-creator and star of her own Netflix series Survival of the Thickest. Now Michelle talks with Mike about figuring out who you are as a person, sharing embarrassing personal stories in a writers room, and why comedy is a family business. Plus, new jokes about parenting, yoga class, and Mike and Michelle discuss whether Mike should go on the Breakfast Club morning show. Please consider donating to ACLU Mike's tour dates: https://www.birbigs.com/tour-dates Text BIRBIGS to 917-444-7150 for updates Find Mike: Website: https://birbigs.com/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/birbigs/ Facebook: https://facebook.com/birbigfans TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@mikebirbiglia Find Michelle:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michellebuteau/ Website: https://michellebuteau.org Hosted and Produced by Mike Birbiglia Producers: Peter Salomone, Joseph Birbiglia, Mabel Lewis, Gary Simons Sound Mixed by Kate Bilinski Video Consultant: Graham Willoughby Special Thanks: Marissa Hurwitz, Josh Upfal, David Raphael, Nina Cwik, J. Hope Stein, Oona Music: Jack Antonoff and Bleachers Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

At the end of season two of Survival of the Thickus, you're on a podcast called Culture Chat, where they take something you say and they bend it away from what you actually mean. Yeah. Has that happened to you on a podcast? All the time. Maybe this one. No, no, this one is just like, this is mellow. Yeah, I'm just kidding. There's no gotcha stuff here.

This is a gotcha covered. Gotcha. You follow, it's a pun, but it's actually earnest. Yes. It's a got you covered. And I really love you for that. Hey, everybody, it's Mike Berbiglia. This is Working It Out.

That's the voice of the great Michelle Buto. One of my favorite comics, we wanted her to come on this show forever, probably since we started the show six years ago. Her series, Survival of the Thickus, is in its third and final season on Netflix. I love Michelle. She's a phenomenal comedian. She's a phenomenal actress.

I love talking to her. Quick note about today's episode. There's a little technical glitch. with the audio, which is unusual for us. We've had 220 episodes. It's very rare. It does sound a little different. Our engineers worked on it, but I thought it's such a great conversation, and I wanted to make sure you were able to hear it, even though it is not our pristine, perfect audio that we usually have. By the way, this week I will be at Just for Laughs in Montreal. Next week I'll be in Nantucket, that old circuit in Montreal to Nantucket. Tickets for those are at

for pigs.com. Sign in for the mailing list and also text per bigs to 917-444-7-1-5-0. So you can be the first to know about my upcoming shows. We want to thank all the working at our premium subscribers, the Berbilia Familia. We've got a bonus episode coming soon. It is $4.99 a month and you get no ads. So if your least favorite part of the show is the ads, have we got a deal for you? Plus you get bonus episodes and you support the show. It's an independent production. We don't have corporate overlords. It's just a little small group of We say all their names and the credits who work on the show every week. As always, you can watch this episode on YouTube as well as Spotify video and coming soon to Apple Podcasts. This is a great chat today with Michelle Buteau. We talk about how she started out in local news, how she did stand-up for the first time in New York City just days after 9-11.

We talk about her creative process and adapting her life to a book and her book to a TV series. Fascinating talk. Enjoy my conversation with the great Michelle Buteau. I'm laughing because I've watched a bunch of your series, Survival to the Pickest this morning. In the final, the cliffhanger, end of second season, you go to your boyfriend, you go like, I'm a New Yorker, I can get home. And then it's just like the cab just blowing past you. Yeah. And then someone getting in in front of you.

Yes. I love that. Yeah, because it's such a moment, right? Yeah, yeah. Like, it's such a New York moment. Very New York. Very New York, which I love. I love it.

I love the tone. It's slapstick sometimes. And then in a moment, it's super emotional. Yes. And it's like, is that, I was just curious, like, practically, is that by design? You talk about that in the writer's room. How do we? Oh, absolutely.

Yeah. It's like, it's my comedy DNA. Everybody has a way. Everyone, every comedian that is a writer has their own language. Yeah. And so it's like really important for me to have a writer's room that understands all the parts of me. Yeah. You know, for lack of a better phrase, all the colors of the crayola box that, you know, like my wheelhouse.

Right. And so like, do that. And so, you know, one writer is good at the slapstick and the other one's, you know, like, lived in New York. And the other one understands the real-life-ass rom-com moments that not only happen but should happen, right? Like, what's that wish list for us? You know, what's our version of sex in the city? And when I say our version, I mean, like, marginalized communities, you know, people that also make up the fabric of America, especially New York. I'm always just like, I love friends, but they didn't have.

have one Puerto Rican friend. They live in the city. You go into a coffee shop but not a bodega? That's wild. Nobody went to a bodega at all. You just always had bananas and muffins there. So like, yeah, I wanted my show to represent my world and what I think the world should be. And, you know, and my voice, much like the book and finding those moments of like, wow, life is really hard right.

now. But I'm going to get to the other side and figure out how it's funny. Yeah. So we can keep it moving. So when you write the show, you have a writer's room. Yes. But it's loosely based on your life. Ish. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. It's based in your book and which was based in, is it based in your life? Yeah. And people are pitching on things that didn't happen in your life, but could. Yes. I'm curious, um, is it ever too much? Yes. You're like, what? Yes. All the time. But I also like love blue skying. So like just go big. Yeah. Because it's like that thing like casting will tell will tell you like go big and then I can pull you back. But if you don't show me something,

then I don't know that you could actually do it. Right. So there were themes and situations and mission statements. I definitely want to have for my book. But it was so great working with TV people because they know how to make this one thing into a story, for instance. You know, there is a chapter of my book called Game of a Host. And there is a story about me getting gum stuck on a Dominican guy's dick in the backseat of a taxi as one does when they're leaving Gonzalez. And I was like, I really don't know where this goes. I just wanted to fit in this season. Yeah.

Because I think it's really fun to show different parts of trying to feel yourself. And it can get messy and you will be embarrassed. But, you know, it's not always perfect. And it's not always like, I'm so glad you chose me. It's just like, I'm drunk. And this is crazy. And I hurt you. And I'm so sorry.

There's gum stuck on your balls. Told my showrunner this, you know, much like these cards, it was up. A seed of an idea. Yes, a germ. A germ. Yes. And Danielle Sanchez-Witzel, who was amazing and co-created the show with me, she was like, what if that's how Mavis meets her husband?

You know? Mm-hmm. And to me, that's a wild. Like, I've done the wild part, but then she brings in, like, the reality of it. And I'm like, that's wild. Right. But it works. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What are your reality rules or are the reality rules? I mean, I think you just have to feel it, you know? Yeah. Because as a comedian, like, even if it's someone getting your order wrong to someone having a baby on the subway. Yeah. Like, life can happen. 100%. Yeah.

But it's like, does it serve the story and can you have fun doing it? Yes. And so, you know, sometimes it's a yes, mostly it's a no. And I feel like you know right away. Isn't that crazy about the creative process? Yeah. Most of the time it is a no. Yeah.

That's how many ideas there have to be. Yes. It's like hundreds, if not thousands of ideas. So many. And then you end up doing like four of them. Yes. Yeah. Our first week for season three, because we knew it was going to be third and final,

we all got together We were just talking about stuff We wanted to see For our characters In life on TV That we haven't seen We had this You know

This page space Eight episodes Third and final And we had like a stack We had a stack Yeah And we did like But still

Right you did like So few of them Ultimately Yeah Yeah Yeah it's I would say like That's the thing

That's so hard to explain when younger comics or people, you know, writers are coming up and they're sort of asking for advice, it's like the thing that is true is the thing actually when you're 21 years old, like you actually don't really want to hear, which is you will have to write so much more than you think. Yeah. Like think about the most you could write and then multiply that by like 40. Yes. And it really is like learn how to pivot.

Yeah. You know, you just have to learn how to pivot, have something in your back pocket, then what else is it if it's not? And you could actually like pitch 20 ideas and then come back to the first idea. Yeah. But the first idea will be a little different because you've already gone through the other ideas. Yeah, yeah. And so, and whether it's a new comic or a seasoned writer, I don't really love working with people. who are super set in their ways.

Yeah. Because I don't want to feel like what's supposed to be very fun and like, you know, joke ideas and story ideas is a fight. Yeah. Because now we're talking about something else. Yeah.

And I feel like if we are sharing each other's companies because we've met each other for a reason and I like you and you like me, so like let's just work it out. Yes. I feel like we should be responsible with our words, words have power, but like, let's not make this precious. Yes.

You know, you do have to churn out a lot of ideas. Yeah. And that's okay. You can do it. I'm sure that, like, when you're interviewing or when you've interviewed people through the years to work in your show, you've had to, like, figure out, like, can I spend 13 hours with this person? I know.

It's like a tattoo. You're, like, stuck with it, right? You are. You are. Because think about how much, how many hours. you've spent with those people. A lot. It's nuts.

It is a summer camp because then like, you know, every time I see them, like, we'll remember those moments because... Yes. I love a... I love when people have lived a life. I love when people share. I know a lot of people don't want to share because they don't want their stories sort of going out into the wild.

Yeah. Which I totally understand, too. I don't work that way because if I'm not just... sharing it with you. I'm going to put it in a special. Yeah, yeah, sure. You know, so I'm like used to, and I obviously pick and choose the things that I want to share that I've been through, but, you know, I just love, I just love a good old emotional room where everybody, my friend once told me people will meet you as deeply as they met themselves. And so I love to go deep. Because that's, I think, where you can

like find the play. You unpack that. People will meet you. Meet you. As deeply as they met themselves. Okay. So if you know who you are.

Yeah. And you've figured out why you do the things you do. Yeah. And you know, you can define your worth without comments and likes and views and algorithms. and, you know, by whatever definition or any means,

you've, like, figured out how to have a healthy relationship with your family despite dot, dot, dot. Yeah, sure. Then that's, like, a really great place to work with somebody. Yeah. Because I also realize, like, you are the company you keep. Yes. Not just by, like, friends.

We're family members, coworkers. Yeah. Because I'm taking that energy home. Oh, completely. You know? Yeah, it's all very interconnected. So, so connected. So that's why, like, if someone's picked you to work with them, that's awesome.

Yeah. Get over the imposter syndrome or whatever the fuck it is. Yeah. Fake it to you make it. Yeah. Just have fun. I feel like if someone was like, I want to be Michelle Boutot, a young comic. L-O-L-L-L also.

But I'm sure there are many, many of those. I would say the problem is that you can't actually follow someone's path. Yes. Because the path already, once someone does the path, it's changed. Yes. So like if someone's watching this, they go, I want to be in a show buto. What do they do? That's so crazy.

Where do they start? You go to therapy and figure out who you are. You know, you find your Richard gear as the Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride and you figure out how you like your eggs. Do you remember the movie? No, as a matter of fact, I was just about to ask you, was he a therapist in the movie? He was like, okay, I know, you're not the devil for any of this. And I'm so sorry. I'm so happy.

No, no, but I want to learn. I want to learn. So she had always been engaged, was about to get married, but always run away from the altar. Okay, sure. He was like some, I think he was like a journalist and he was like covering the story or something. Okay. And they fell in love with each other because she's a pretty woman. L-O-L.

Yes. And come on, you guys. And so he really challenged her because he was like, how do you like your eggs? Because she liked, she was always changing herself for like every person she was engaged to. And she liked them over easy. And then she liked an omeland. And she liked whatever he liked. And then Richard was like, but how do you like your eggs?

Yeah. And so to put this into like young people's terms, like if there's, like a TikTok challenge and it goes viral, you do it. It's not going to be as viral as the first time. 100%. Because someone already lived that journey like you were saying. Completely. So you want to be a Michelle Buto? That's insane. The only thing you should take from that is be a good person and live the fuck out loud. Yeah. Whatever that means for you. Yeah. You know? That's good advice. I'm not, don't laugh at me. I'm laughing with you? You're laughing with me. Thank you. This is The show's all about laughing with one another.

It's working it out with others. Yeah. Oh, gosh. Because I feel like with comedy, it's like you gotta be funny. You gotta go to the clubs and hang out or work hard and, you know, take shit spots and take shit. And it's just like you could also just be a good person and live your truth. And nobody says that. You got to go hang out.

You got to put the time in. But life, you're putting the time in life. Yeah. but also like I'm laughing because like also you sort of do have to do that too I think both things are somewhat true I mean I think you have to take it serious like if you want to do it take it seriously yeah go to open mics take whatever spot on the show they give you you know don't be a fucking no I agree I agree with your saying like take the check spot that was a thing that I people would say to me

incessantly when I was starting out, which is just like hang out late or whatever, and it's like, I can't hang out late. I just can't do it. Yeah. I did it a few times. I was like, I think this is actually hurting my career. Yeah.

Yes. Yeah. I think people are enjoying me less. Yeah, you don't want me past 10 p.m. Just I need a sprinkle of me. A doll, but do you? I get it. Oh, my gosh.

At the end of season two. The Survival of the Thickus, you're on a podcast called Culture Chat, where they take something you say and they bend it away from what you actually mean. Yeah. Has that happened to you on a podcast? All the time. Maybe this one. No, no, this one's just like, this is mellow.

Yeah, I'm just kidding. There's no gotcha stuff here. This is a gotcha covered. This is not a gotcha, it's a gotcha covered. Gotcha. Yeah. Gotcha. Yeah.

Gotcha. You follow, it's a pun, but. It's actually earnest. Yes. It's it got you covered. And I really love you for that. No, but my point is, did that fictional storyline come from a thing where you were like, oh my God, it went on that show and it was just like that.

Oh, yeah, all the time. Oh, really? I mean, all the time. And not even just like from a podcast, from stand up, from people being in like a green room and somebody asked me like a question one time. in like a hair, like a group hair and makeup chair. Like it was, we were all like getting glam or touches done for something. And they were like, how's this show that you went on or did? And I gave it honest answer.

And then like went out, they went out in the world and went to like Huffington Post and like made a whole article and twisted my words about this one. Really? Yes. From a conversation? From a conversation. Oh, that's rough. It's.

Ooh. Yeah. Yeah, trust no one. There was a lot of like a. morning shows, hip-hop morning shows that you can go on. Yeah. That feel like, you know, you want to go promote something, and then all of a sudden you're in a world of trouble.

Oh, everything on Breakfast Club, I always feel that way about. Oh, my God, you knew what I was talking about. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I always feel that way about it. Have you been on Breakfast Club yet? No, I don't think they want me. They want you.

Do they? They would love you. Would they try to squeeze the juice? the juice out of me? Probably. Yeah, yeah. That's what they do. Yeah.

They squeeze the juice over there. There's a lot of juice. It's a juice club. No pun intended. Yeah, yeah. Oh. Yeah, there we go again. Gosh, you're really good at that.

You can hoe your own way. Ho your own way. Ho your own way. You worked on New York City news. Yeah, I edited the local news for WNBC for a long time and then worked at WSVNN. Miami for Fox and also Deco Drive. What's the most surprising thing for people who don't work in local news?

Like what about the job you discover? Local news, you know, local news is sort of like a writer's room where you're definitely like in it together. Yeah. Because you experience like a lot of things like, um, like internationally, like, like those things that happen like to all of us, then we have to like filter it for, the five boroughs in the tri-state area. Yeah.

So I remember I had a boss say to the writer, write the news like you're talking to a six-year-old. Yeah. So a lot of like crazy, heavy, traumatic things that happen, we have to like sort of, you know, condense it to like a nursery rhyme. That makes total sense. Yeah. And then like I pick the pictures to that nursery rhyme. Right. And it's never the pictures that are like, it never.

We never show you what really is happening. Right. You just get like these exteriors or like just a picture of a building and people walking. But there's like so much more happening. And so I think. And then when you talk about what's happening, people are like, they didn't really go like that. The news said this.

It's like, I know what the news said, but they're not showing you all the stuff. Right. Because you're not supposed to. Right. That's what Reuters is for or something. And so. I was thinking that even the other day. Yeah.

Yeah. Like a stabbing in Penn Station. or something. It was really... After the game. Yeah. Yeah. And it was a brutal story.

Stabbing was pretty brutal. Jesus. And I was just like, how do you even... To your point, it's like, how do you cover that? Yeah. Yeah, because you really want to be like... You know the footage. No.

It's like you try to, I guess, interview people who might have witnessed it. Yeah. And then you have, like, the evidence that's sort of left over. So you're constantly showing people like a bloody footstep. Right. I need five seconds of foot. and then two seconds of subway and then three that's right yeah and then 20 seconds of people walking on the subway right so much of the local subway stories are just like the subway going by yeah

it's like oh we didn't mention someone was stabbed exactly yeah exactly what was the story you ever covered that was most shocking to you 9-11 oh god yeah there was so many though there was like so many but 9-11 like it just changed the world and then also like It was just every day. It was like the 9-11 update every day. For six years, like the six years after, I was still there. And then like the annual thing of 9-11 where everybody goes down. Yeah.

And you started doing stand-up like days after 9-11. Yeah. That's wild. Yeah. A wild bitch. But New York also gives you the license to, you know, be delusional enough. just do something. Did you leave local news to do stand-up?

I worked in local, my mom was like, if you're going to do stand-up, you got to keep this job. Yeah. Because New York is expensive. Of course. And I also love, like, having security, and I love money.

Like, you know, I just, I didn't know if I could do comedy, not because I wasn't funny, because everyone just seemed really sad. It was, like, cool to be sad and broke. And, like, everything, I'm always hot. and I don't have sex.

I'm like, I love sex. I love money. I love color. I love having a good time. I'm like, this is for me. Yes. But I was like, I'm having fun. This is a lot of fun.

Even when it's hard, it's very fun. I'm like, you're only as good as your last show and how do I fucking figure out that joke with this audience? And it also helped me like advocate for myself in real life. Yeah. You know, like I feel like I can go into any room and know that I'll be okay because I have 25 years of stand up. Yeah, you and I have that. I think in common, that kind of like survival stand-up thing. Because we've been on a lot of like benefits and stuff together where it's like,

it's a lot of people who really don't care about stand-up. They maybe paid $10,000 a plate to benefit. You mean Sting doing a set with Michael J. Foxx? Yeah, bra. Yeah, bra. But then you and I like, we hold our own. Like we bring it. Yes.

But then we'll go off in a corner and have our chakouterie, you know, in our green room, we're homeless and talk about summer camp for the school. That's right. And the kids and, yeah. That's funny. Yeah. You and I heard that means we're the same amount in, too. We're both 25 years in.

Oh. Yeah. You started 2001. Yeah. And I started, I moved to New York in 2000. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So almost exactly the same time.

What made you decide to move to New York? I mean, honestly, it was like my sister Gina lived here. Okay. Not far from here in Brooklyn. And it was just like, I would come to clubs in New York. And I would be like, oh, this is it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because I worked in D.C. And I was like, this is good.

Yeah. But then you come to New York, you go, this is it. Yeah. It's like, I don't know what to tell you. This is the place where it's happening. I keep forgetting how Italian you are. Like your last name was Italian, no? Yeah. And then your sister's name was Gina. Gina. Bigby, yeah. That is so Italian. That is like almost... And then we live in an Italian neighborhood, no less. And then Gina lived in Italian neighborhood. All right. Yeah.

What part of Italy? Do you know? Sicily, which where I've never been. I want to. You are Sicilian? I'm more Sicilian than you. Oh, are you? I'm not. Okay. Well, I mean.

I'm half. I'm half. Okay. Yeah. Good for you. Half Irish, half Italian. Wow. Yeah.

I feel like I'm looking at Matt Damon telling me he's Sicilian. What is he even? I don't even know. We don't. We don't. But I did like the DNA thing and like it was just, I'm even more confused because I was like, I'm black. And then it's like, no, you are from all these ports. Oh.

All over. this place from like Europe to Africa to like Sicily and ciss a lot of ports and stuff but we don't have to get into that what's the next question like in other words okay we won't get into it um you and I just incommone which is we were both raised Catholic very my uncle's the archbishop of Jamaica oh no kidding yeah yeah really really do you go there much I used to go every year um sometimes twice a year and even growing up like we wouldn't stay in like like fancy hotels, I'd stay in the convent. And I used to hang out with nuns and the only child.

And even when they came to America, I don't know if I'm like telling their business now. But most of them aren't alive, but they were cool. Sister Act was our jam. We'd love to watch the Sister Act. And they love to gamble. Oh, interesting. They love to have fun. They love to dance.

And like, I couldn't go into the casino with them. So my mom would take them down in Atlantic City because I'm from Jersey. And I would just wait outside for them. Yeah. Of a casino with like my Barbies. And just like wait. Like these nuns to play blackjack. But yeah, very, very Catholic.

Do you ever have a Catholic censor in your brain? Always. Because I feel like I always have that. Always. But I feel like, you know, I've really figured out my relationship with God or a higher power outside of all those antiquated rules. And it really happened like after our wedding because my husband is an atheist. And so, but I made him do the like the weak.

weekend where you go to the church. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The men sleep in that building. Oh, you did that? Yeah, I was out here up until like we got married. And I was like, oh, I don't have to do this. Because I remember wanting to walk down the aisle to somewhere over the rainbow. My mom was like, that's a secular song.

And I was like, sis. And it was like July, South Florida. So like Dutch people are just melting like a Yankee candle. And I had like a strapless dress. And she's like, we've got to get like shoulders on there. We've got to sew some shoulders because you can't show your shoulders. In church, I'm like, in July during hurricane season, in the heat. And she's like, God.

And I'm like, no, men. Yeah. Someone had a bone or looking at someone's shoulder. And all of a sudden, I got to fucking smell like an improv teacher in 1992. What the fuck out of here? So all these little things, I was like, I don't know that this is for me. I love that sentence. That sentence was perfectly constructed.

That is so funny. Yeah. So being a good person and having a relationship with you and the earth and like whatever higher power you might believe in is the vibe. Yeah. And everything else, I'm just like, you could have it. And there's a chapter in my book, A Fabulous Blessing, where my mom really insisted on me getting the twins baptized. And so I picked godparents. And when they showed up, my mom was like, don't tell your uncle that that's, you know,

your friend's wife. Mm-hmm. But she is, and that's the only way I'm going to introduce her. So my mom was like, they cannot be the godmother's because they're both gay. And I'm like, they weren't gay when I met them 25 years ago. They're a loophole. And she's like, no. Wow.

Yeah. And so I didn't get them baptized. And it was like these little things. That's tough. Yeah, it was really tough because I can't even imagine what it's like being a queer person and love being conditional from your parent, the one person that's supposed to love you no matter what. Yeah. I mean, that's, I feel like that's sort of, I think my Catholic background is part of the reason I became a comedian.

Yeah. It's because, at least where I was from in Massachusetts, it felt like you really were discouraged from speaking your truth. Yeah. And like, and so, of course, some people revolt against that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

You're like, oh, you don't want me to say that? All right. I'll talk about that for a while. I know. Same. Okay. This is the slow round. Okay.

What's the strangest thing in your algorithm that gets served to you on like Instagram? None of it's strange anymore. It's like... It's what you expect? Yeah. It's like, Holland is like the best place to raise kids. Where is my husband's from? Or like three-step vegan ingredient recipes in a blender.

A lot of like plus-size women doing dance. Yeah. They're like all of it's pretty on point. Yeah, yeah. You know? Right. It's things you're, yeah, it's also probably things you're writing about. Yes.

And talking about with your writers. Yeah. Yeah. It's listening. Yeah. Nothing too crazy. Do you ever get fashion truthfulness notes about your character from people in the fashion industry? Like, oh, that is like that, that is what my job is like or that's not what my job is like?

Yeah. Yeah. A lot. A lot. Do you think it's close? I think it's pretty close, you know. I think it's pretty, I chose my character to be a stylist because I want to use fashion. Well, I want her to look amazing.

But also fashion is such a beautiful platform to expose, you know, fat phobia and misogyny and transphobia. I don't know, like, just, you know, the fact that we have to search far and wide for, I'm a size 18 to 22, just I can't go into a store and find my size is like insane, you know? And so it was, it's really important and fun to use fashion as a platform. And it also was like such a parallels, like a great parallel to comedy where like I could see Mavis's parents from Jamaica and the show be like, that's not a real job. People could dress themselves. That's right. Which is what my parents thought of comedy. Yes.

That's not a real job. Yeah, I love that. Yeah. What are people's favorite and least favorite thing about you? Did my mother-in-law give me a question? I think the same. The thing you love about someone is also the thing you don't like about them. Yeah.

The thing that's beautiful about something is also the thing that's scary. Sex, deep water, heights, it's beautiful, it's scary. So whatever you don't like about me is also the thing you love. about me, which could be anything, that I'm loud, that I try to be as honest as possible. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Whatever the fuck it is. I doubt, but I doubt, I'll push back on that that would be that your, like, outspoken or speak your mind would be people's least favorite thing about you.

I just can't picture that person. Well, you're not, like, one of my day ones, like a friend. Right. Where I'm going to tell you what you're done, whether you want to know or not. Right. You know? Right. Yeah.

Oh, right. So you're saying like, you haven't blasted me with the truth hard enough for me to be like, I don't like that. Correct. And also, we're comedians. So, like, I just wrote a whole bit about going on a girl's trip. Yeah. And everybody's mentioned. Yes.

I mix it up so you don't know who's who. Yeah. But also being friends with the comedian is like, uh-oh, are you going to make this a joke? Right. Right. So maybe it's that. They love that I do comedy, but they don't want to hear about themselves. Yeah.

Yeah, I get that. You know? I don't know what my kids are going to think of these jokes I'm telling about, you know? I think about that a lot, yeah. Yeah. It might be really cool. I talked to Melissa Rivers about this, Joan Rivers' daughter. And she was like, well, my mom always said it was a family business.

I love that. You know? That's how I feel. That's how I feel too. It's complicated, though. Buckle up, Buttercup. I know. Who are you jealous of?

Nobody. Okay. Yeah. I think jealousy is like wasted calories, empty calories. It's like road rage. I used to be a jealous person, but I think it's because people, like, society taught me, like told me I should be jealous of someone.

Like, this is the body you. want and that's the car you should have and i'm like wait a minute but i am enough and so it was like a lot of like again comedy digging deep and like loving what i have and i i feel like jealousy is an emotion that people have when they haven't come into their power yet yeah they don't know how amazing they are yet yeah you're fine the way you are that person that's the elaine this is the elaine and that's okay and so jealousy is a no for me that's one of the best answers we've ever had awesome this should be the Tees. This could be the tease.

Cool. Make it a collab post. That is a great answer, though. No, that's very deep. But it is hard to, it's hard to get there because culturally everyone tells you to be jealous. Everything tells you to be jealous. Your feet. There's so many things that will make you feel bad about yourself.

Yeah. But like from who? Yeah, from who. Like some dudes and like some male gays and then some bitches at first. Follow that? Get out of here. Get out of here. You're too beautiful for that.

And life is too fucking short. Yeah. You're good. Yeah. Male gays just as an idea. Yes. Everything is from male gays. Maybe not for you.

But yes. I mean, like, I had this body since I was 12. Mm-hmm. There's a lot of titty. And I can't look. But it's a lot of titty for 12. That's one of my favorite lines on the show ever. I know you can't look.

It's a lot of tiddy for a 12-year-old. Sure. It's a lot of responsibility. My mom's like, you know, why are you sticking your chest up? I'm like, I'm standing up straight like you told me to. Yeah. I'm always being overcorrected. For who?

Some male gaze. I have to cover my shoulders in a church. For who? Some God. Yeah. Some rule. And so when you, at least the way I grew up, you know, voluptuous. Uh-huh.

It was welcomed, or unwelcomed by all this male attention that I didn't want to ask for. And so when you're constantly told to fix yourself because what men might think of you, that informs how you, like, move in the world. Yeah. Period. Do you have material that you're working on? Sometimes we kick around joke ideas, half ideas, seeds of things. Oh, my God. I'm, you know what?

I am working on a new hour. And the one thing that I'm trying to figure out how to make funny is I realized after this tour, surviving and thriving, that Americans are very tired. And they're just, they're in a washer machine of crazy and they don't know what to pick. That's a great point. You know what I mean? It's just the cycle. And they're like, I just wanted to go to a cookout.

That's right. I just want to go to cookout. but like gun safety and homophobia and there's like so many things like pick and choose right um i have an accent i can't say anything because it's the ice and so i think the one thing i'm really trying to figure out is like how to make am not make america laugh again but like how like how to tell people it's okay if you want to leave it's okay it's okay if you want to leave. You can always come back.

Yeah. I've likened it to America being like that cousin we don't like in high school. Uh-huh. You know, she's young, she crazy, she dumb, she was not set up for success. Uh-huh. You know, she was never given a good chance, but we got to stick with her. I don't know why I turned into like a Puerto Rican teenager. But like, yeah, we have to stick with her.

And so I'm just like, how do I talk about America as a whole and like make it funny, but also let, like, people in America. can know that it's okay to leave. Yeah, although some, not many, where would you go? Like, I can't go anywhere. Like, I've investigated this before. What do you mean? Like, I can't be a resident of even Italy, and that's where my ancestors are from.

That's crazy. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Really? I'm telling you. Okay. Not even Ireland?

No. I mean, here's what, I mean, to really get into the. mini-gritty. I could apply for a work visa in a handful of places. And if I live there, if I got it, which is hard to do, getting a work visa in a lot of these desirable places, you know, Canada, London, etc. It would take years to actually get a residency there or even citizenship, no less. Oh. Yeah. Just something. Just something to think about. I mean, I always think about bits in relation to like what the bit is and then what people's responses are and then build it from someone said to me this and then I said this you know like I um

hit this whole bit on this show where I was talking to Sebastian Manascalco and I was talking about those rats in my ceiling and then my my wife didn't want to have it's all set now but it's like okay good my wife didn't want to have like poison and then in the ceiling because she like's organic products, which I get. But then Sebastian, who's sitting here where you are, he was like, you got a man up. You got. And I was like, this is my maximum man. Yeah.

My maximum man was calling the rat man to come over. Yes. What is he going to get the rats? I don't. No, no, no. He was like, I got to hold my ground on saying there can be poison in the ceiling. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But anyway, which is all to say, now I do that bit. Now I've been doing that bit on stage where there's a Sebastian character, but I don't say Sebastian. Right. He's too famous. It's like, garring. Yes. I go, my friend Anthony. Oh, shit.

Giuseppe. Yeah, my friend Giuseppe. I'm sure that won't be jarring. But it, which is all to say that, like, I like that. I like the bit you're saying, but I feel like maybe you should have a friend named Matt. Yeah. Who pushes back and says, but we can't move anywhere. Yeah.

Like, where would you go? I love that. Yeah. It's fun. Thank you. Of course. I mean, it's fun. And I think it's, I agree.

Like, I think that in terms of like, we're all in the washing machine. Like, I feel like we should be talking about that a lot. Like, how. Yeah. Honestly, like, how different that is from what we grew up living in. Yes. And like, what can we do? What can we do?

What a mess. I mean, little, like, it doesn't matter how little or big it is. we can fly a fucking cut. Like, you know, whatever it is. Like, let's just do something. I don't know what that is. Yeah. Yeah, I think in some ways it's worth,

I do think that it's worth throwing it on stage because it's like, I do think it's, you know, part of the job of the comedian is to call out things that are madness. Yes. But it's also part of it to be like, here's where we could be optimistic. Here's how we could find a path in this. Or like this is what life could be like.

Yeah. If everybody had a fair shot. And then I wrote I was at a yoga class the other day, and the yoga teacher kept saying to me, it doesn't matter how it looks. It just matters how it feels. And she said it so many times I just started thinking, this must not look great.

Like I wasn't thinking about how I looked until you pointed out, this doesn't look great. Was she looking at you? Yes. She won't, yeah. And that's like, that's crux. That is crucial. I think that's a crucial detail.

She walked right, yeah, right in front of me. It doesn't matter how it looked. It matters. They do the rounds. Yes. But every time she came to you, that's the thing she'd say. That's right. Yeah.

And then the other thing she said at the end of the class, she goes, I know. She said to the class, that was as enjoyable for me as it was for you. And I was like, I don't need you to enjoy this. Girl, what is this moonlighting? With the Sybil Shepard? What the fuck are you talking about, girl? Girl, shut up. Is this donation yoga?

It's given donation. It's not donation yoga, no. No. You paid full price for that? I did, yeah. What was it, $27? Yeah, sure, something like that. You had to bring old Matt.

Oh, yeah. Donation yoga. It's giving donation. I've done donation yoga before, but it wasn't. I used to do it a lot. Oh, you used to do it? A lot. You teach it?

No, I know I have that vibe. did not. You do have your movies. I know. Have you played one in a movie? I'm trying to think. You're so good in movies. You're great in babes.

Thank you. I love a lot. And you're great and be my maybe. Oh my God, yes. Yes. You're really good in movies. Thank you. And of course, your own show.

I love you in Orange is a New Black. Oh, thanks. Yeah. Okay. This is the thing that I feel like you and I have in common, which I want to be a bit. Okay. Which is the most specific shift I witnessed becoming a parent. Yeah.

Is that there's no longer off. It's just on. Yes. And off, when you're off, it's more on. Yes. I mean, I just looked at the clock and I was like, my kids are still a school. I'm still a parent.

Yeah. Like I was having so much fun for this last hour. I forgot. But yeah, it's a lot of on. And I don't know if you do this. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night to make sure everyone's okay and the house isn't on fire. Can I go back to bed?

Yes. And then sometimes I wake up to use a bathroom. I think about what I'm going to make for breakfast and lunch based off what they've had in the last two days. And then I go back to bed. And then I wake up, I'm just like, where are there water bottles? Yeah. I am brushing my teeth and using the bathroom,

thinking about what clothes that are clean for that. Like, I... This is a classic, though. This will be a loggerhead moment when my wife, Jen, listens to this because she'll be like, that's what I think about, but you don't. Like, I wake up and think, is the house on fire? And I'm just like, if the house is on fire. Oh, my.

If the house is on fire, it's on fire, do we really stand a chance? It's like my husband on an airplane can fully fall asleep. Me too. With your kid? No, no. No. No. I mean, he's R.E. eminent.

Yeah, yeah. No, he's fully out. He's fully out. He's like inception. Yeah. He's in another dimension. Yeah. Sometimes I think there's some gender inequality in the world.

Welcome to the view, everyone. Have a nice day. There's, oh, yeah. And then on versus off. Before you had kids and kids. I had a kid, you didn't realize that off was going to end. Like, you don't know. I didn't know.

No one. I didn't know. That's what I'm going to do it as a bit. Because I want to. I wanted to be a PSA for the people who are considering having kids. Like, just so you know, it's over. I worked so hard to have kids, you know, and we went through this whole thing with IVF and having a surrogate. And I worked so hard to meet those beautiful little souls.

And after I brought them home, I was like, oh, I understand why people don't want kids. Yeah. It's a lot of work. Yeah. And then it changes. And you have to be outside of your body for them. Yes. And then you try to be the parent that you like always wanted and never had.

Yeah. And that's a whole shit show. And my friends who have kids who are in their 20s, they're like, it doesn't end. I know. They're like, no, no, just because you think when they move out. Yeah. It doesn't. Yeah, my cousin has a 27 and 30-year-old.

And it's still a lot of, like, mom, how do I do this? Yeah. And I think I was, like, asking, I think I was asking. I don't know if my mom was asking me, if I was asked my mom or if she was telling me until I was 30. I don't really know, but I stopped around, like, when I met my husband. Yeah. You know? Your new dad.

Holy shit. I forgot. It's when you. met your new dad. Oh my God. Is this thing on? You met Dad Dee. Right.

Aye. Aye. Michael. Giuseppe. And, and we're out. All right. So the last thing we do.

Oh, my God. There's more? Working out for a cause. We give to a nonprofit. Oh. I know you give to a lot of nonprofits. I love it. I love nonprofits.

Is there an organization that you like to contribute to? Yes. I would love to contribute to the ACLU. I just, posted an event for them in Jersey because the ACLU just celebrating 65 years in Jersey. But without the ACLU, like, I don't know that I would feel comfortable even raising kids here to have like a fair shot at inequality and injustice. And especially what this current administration is doing, just like suppressing First Amendment and voter suppression and the oppression of whatever fucking already happened in America is making me giving me depression. What am I a poet?

The point is. Thank you so much. I was like, I got to wrap this up. You know sometimes when you're like you got to wrap it up. Yeah. I wrapped it up. ACLU. It's ACLU.org.

Sorry. It's an easy one. The ACLU.org. I'm also Michellebuto.org. You are not? I am. You are? I'm an organization.

For real? Yes. I'm not. Dot com expired and somebody bought it like in seconds. You've got to be kidding me. None I can get it back. You're Michellebuttoe.org? I am.

Okay. Subscribe and like. This really changes everything. Yes. Michelle Buto, congratulations on your new season, your specials, your career, your illustrious career, and it's always just great to see you. Same. It's so fun.

So fun. Working it out because it's not done. Working it out. That's going to do it for another episode of Working It Out. You can follow Michelle at Michelle Boutot on Instagram. You can watch Survival of the Thickest Season 3 streaming now on Netflix. Michelle is on tour all over the place. Her tour is called Surviving and Thriving.

You can see her at the Bell House in Brooklyn and September. A whole bunch of dates in Dublin, London, Oslo, Stockholm, Berlin, Copenhagen. I want to go on this tour. All of this on Michellebutto.org. Check up berbiggs.com to sign up for the mailing list and to be the first to know about my own upcoming shows. Our producers of working it out are myself along with Peter Salomon, Joseph Barbiglia, Mabel Lewis, and Gary Simons.

Sound mixed by Kate Balinski's special thanks to Jack Antonoff and Bleachers for their music. My wife, the poet, Jayhope Sign, and our daughter, Una, who built the original Radio Fort made of pillows. Thanks most of all to you who are listening. If you enjoy our show, please rate us and review us on Apple Podcasts. We're almost up to 5,000 user reviews. That's when I know a podcast is real. When I'm looking through and I go, they have 5,000 user reviews. I mean, these people aren't messing around.

That's why we need you to tell your friends, tell your enemies. Tell your local news team. Call the tip line. Hey, I got a tip. You're covering all these dreary local news stories and terrible weather developments. Why don't you distract yourself with a podcast called Mike Barbiglia's working it out? This week, we got one of your former local news people, Michelle Boutot. Thanks, everybody.

We're working it out. We'll see you next time.