Mike Birbiglia's Working It Out - 220. Jo Firestone Returns: You Better Marry My 40-Year-Old Daughter

Episode Date: August 3, 2026

Working It Out favorite Jo Firestone returns for a triumphant fourth appearance, this time pregnant and rocking a Phantom of the Opera Toronto production t-shirt. Jo talks with Mike about pregnancy, her “shotgun wedding” at city hall, and her new book Sex on Murder Island, the sequel to Murder on Sex Island. Plus, much talk of Lord of the Rings, including why Jo relates to Frodo and why Mike sympathizes with Gollum. Subscribe to Working It Out Premium on Apple Podcasts for a special *extended version* of this episode! Please consider donating to Baby2Baby Buy Jo's book Sex on Murder Island Mike's tour dates: https://www.birbigs.com/tour-dates Text BIRBIGS to 917-444-7150 for updates Find Mike: Website: https://birbigs.com/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/birbigs/ Facebook: https://facebook.com/birbigfans TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@mikebirbiglia Find Jo:  Substack: https://jofirestone.substack.com Website: https://www.jofirestone.com Hosted and Produced by Mike Birbiglia Producers: Peter Salomone, Joseph Birbiglia, Mabel Lewis, Gary Simons Sound Mixed by Ben Kruse Supervising Engineer: Kate Bilinski Video Consultant: Graham Willoughby Special Thanks: Marissa Hurwitz, Josh Upfal, David Raphael, Nina Cwik, J. Hope Stein, Oona Music: Jack Antonoff and Bleachers Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Isn't comedy supposed to get people through the hardest times? Yeah, isn't that the idea? During Hurricane Sandy, I go to a place where a lot of people have been relocated. Their homes have been destroyed there in this armory. Right? It's a lot of elderly people. The lunches are always late. They're set up cots.

And I say, I can do comedy. Yeah. I can bring lightness to this space. I made these people so angry. Hey, everybody, it's Mike Barbiglia. This is Working It Out. That is the voice of the great Joe Firestone. This is her fourth appearance on the podcast.

That's right. Her fourth appearance. She is a wildly, wildly popular guest, one of our favorites of all time. She's a new book out called Sex on Murder Island, which is of course the sequel to her other book, Murder on Sex Island. I love this episode so much.

And if you like this appearance of Joe Firestone on this podcast, you can subscribe to Working It Out Premium and you will get access to an extended version of this very episode. Of course, we edit these episodes for time and clarity, but every time Joe Firestone is on, we have this thought. We should release the uncut version because my conversations with her are so, wild and wide-ranging and wonderful.

So we're finally doing it. If you subscribe, if you go to Apple Podcasts, and subscribe to Working It Out Premium, you'll get an extended version of this episode, and also you get a bunch of bonus episodes, and you can listen to every episode with no ads. So you get all that $4.99 a month, all on Working It Out Premium on Apple Podcasts.

By the way, thanks to everyone who came out to my shows at Just For Laughs in Montreal and in Antucket. Check out my upcoming tour dates at berbigs.com and sign up for the mailing list and text per Biggs. B-I-G-S to 9-17-44-7-1-5-0 to know about my upcoming shows, secret shows, things like that. As always, you can watch this episode on YouTube and Spotify if you want our expressions and physicality. I love talking to Joe Firestone. She's pregnant, by the way. We're very excited about that. We talk about it today. She got married earlier this year.

She got married at City Hall, like me and Jenny. We talk about Pink Eye. We talk about Lord of the Rings. We talk about her hilarious book, Sex on Murder Island, which is available now. Enjoy my conversation with the great Joe Firestone. I think we should roll. Yeah. I feel like the gold has entered the building.

You. Okay. The gold is here. Trying to get a new phrase going. Good. Good, good. The gold has been delivered. The water is trickling down the way.

Yes. I'm here with Joe Firestone. This is working it out. I'm like Rubiglio. Joe Firestone, I think you're the third time here. Yeah, absolutely. You're a fan favorite. Well, it's nice to be here.

I do feel like I wait until it's the hottest day of the year. and then I say, okay, I'll come now. And that's kind of, I try to make one sweaty appearance every year. I'm throwing on my regional Phantom of the Opera, Toronto production T-shirt, and I'm going to Mike's house. This is my second outfit today. I sweat through the first one. I think the elephant in the room is you're pregnant.

Yes. And it's worth noting that your first person, book was called Murder on Sex Island, and your book that just came out is called Sex on Murder Island, and you're pregnant. So when is the murder happening? Okay. Wow, that's really, that's really poetic. Gotcha!

Yeah. I forgot this was a gotcha. I forgot this was a gotcha podcast. Shoot. Who is murdered. Shoot. I got to go. commit a crime.

I was like, I feel like I used to kind of make these decisions where I thought, oh, that's funny, that's fun, do that. Yeah. And now every time I think about that, I'm like, oh, and that will bring humiliation to your offspring. Oh, right. You know what I mean? No, I know what you mean.

And now I'm like, these books, first of all, named the worst, the worst combination of names. I could not even, no one knows the difference. They don't have even a number on there. Yes. Very confusing. The covers are basically the same. Right. So then, so then now, so I'm trying to, and then I, you know, I was thinking, because there's another book, there's like the four books total. Oh, there's four. Okay. I got to come back here. Yeah, I'm ready. So I got to come back here. But then I was like, do I scramble the words even more? On murder sex islands. I don't even know what to do now to self-sabotage.

But then, but it does, they were like, the sales were obviously like, could you name the third book something? Something that's different words. Or something that is marketable. Right. Part three. Something. Yeah.

You dedicated the book to Mike. Thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome. I didn't even feel like I was a huge part of it. I thought I was at very most kind of going, keep going. That's, yes. What if I, it really would.

I think that I wonder if that's the kind of thing where it is, that would be really off-putting. Hmm. Which part? Me dedicating my book to you. Right, right, right. Because your husband's name is also Mike. So he must have been put off when he saw you. you dedicated the book to me.

Yeah, he was like, I was like, Mike, you want to see the book? Like, do you want to see your book? And he, and he was like, cool. And then I was like, no, no, open it, open it to the dedication page. Yeah. And then he looked at it and I thought he was going to be like, so, I thought there was going to be this emotional moment. Right.

And he was like, where's the dog? Right. He wanted me to dedicate the book to him and the dog. And the dog. Interesting. Come on. What's it like being married to Joe Firestone? What's the day to day?

Well, I will say this is that my immune system's down. So I had to cancel on this. Oh, right, like a week ago. Yeah, yeah, I remember that, yeah. Because I got Pink Eye. Oh, my gosh, wow. And I got, and something was going on in here. Okay.

What do you mean by that? Like, are you familiar with the movie? Anastasia, the animated... The Disney movie? Yes, yes. It's Fox. Okay, Fox. Have you seen it recently? No, no.

Well, there's a character called Rasputin. Okay. And Rasputin is sentenced to like a life of the afterlife. Like he's sentenced to like live on forever but in a cave. And then, so then when he gets his powers back, when he's like summoned, he's like, his eyes like are popping out. And he's like crawling in his. His skin is, like, falling, fall into the sides.

And, like, his, like, ribs are doing dances. And that is, that's how I feel every day. Aw. It's... That's what being pregnant feels like. And, like, a long, thin beard. Right. So you've, you sort of...

Valding head. Right, right. Thin, long beard. Faulting head, thin beard, kind of your organs, like, shaking inside. Pluck it once a day. Pluck it once a day. Right. You pluck your beard once a day.

That's what you do, right? You'd pluck it. I don't relate to this, actually. Okay. Because you have a person in there. Yeah, yeah. Right? I just came from the doctor.

What the doctor say? Big girl. Oh, big girl. She's a big girl. Oh, so you might have like a 10-pounder in there. They said she's a big girl Wow Which is great

And you're Which is I mean I guess Who knows It's like You're pretty small Aren't you? I mean

I think that maybe Maybe my family They start off big And then they get smaller As years old Yeah yeah I think that's That's

There's probably some science to that Yeah A lot of A lot of children get bigger As they get older Is Mike big? He's told me he's average size Okay.

Yeah. What size is he? He said he's 5'10. He said he's 5.10. But I think that's average size for sure. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That seems about right.

Like when I go to buy him sweatpants, he's like, I think he could fit into any pair. What world would you buy Mike's sweatpants? Almost every day. Every day. You think that you're looking. for a present. Yeah. For somebody?

Yeah. Sweatpants. Okay. Is the ultimate person. Why? I've gotten it for multiple people. Okay. Why?

Because you don't have to be like, oh, are they going to use it? Right. Are they going to use it? Of course they're going to use it. Of course you're going to use it. Yeah. Yeah. You just got to get the size right.

Doesn't matter. Oh, you think it doesn't even matter. I think size is fictional on sweatpants. Okay. I see what you mean. I could fit into all my. Almost any sweatpants. Yeah.

Yeah. And me too. That's a great gift idea. You get high-end sweatpants or just kind of haines? This is the thing. They're exactly the same. There's no difference in sweatpants. Okay.

Interesting. Okay. You know that when Jenny was pregnant, she asked me to buy her underwear. The sweatpants story, you remind me of this. Uh-huh. And she even told me where to go. She said, go to this one place. And I went, and all they had for underwear was a thong.

No. It was all they had. It was all they had. And so I bought the thong, go home, got you the underwear. She's like, you bought me a thong? I went, went to the place. It's all they had. I don't know.

She's like, why would you buy me a thong? I'm pregnant. I was like, I don't know. I'm just making this stuff up as I go. That's so funny. What if your husband bought you a thong? Like, how would you react to that? I would lose my mind.

I ordered this pack of maternity underpants from the mail. And he picked it up. And he's like, whoa, what is this? Because it was so heavy. Of course. Yeah, those are big. But that's tough that it's heavy for. hip.

Right. He thought that was heavy. Right, right. Heavy package. Maternity, underpants are large. Yeah. Yeah. It's basically like wearing one of those baseball bases.

Yeah, yeah, one of those bags. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. Second base. You're just wearing second base around your bottom. Mm-hmm. Wait, can I tell you, though, something? Because I, like, I have not really left my house a lot.

lot. Yeah. I don't really do stand-up anymore. I know this. To me, it makes no sense. You're one of my favorite stand-ups, so you don't do stand-up. But I don't leave it. I'm not leaving the house that much anymore. So I'm staying home a lot. And so, like, and so I love, I'm watching a lot of Love Island, but I don't watch it with Mike because he doesn't, he doesn't, he thinks it's bad, so I got to watch it at like 5 a.m. Okay. But, um, but we watched, we just watched Lord of the Rings for the first time. Oh. And. The movies.

The movies. Yeah. I've never seen them. And I, these things, this movie first came out, this trilogy first came out in 2001. That's 25 years ago. I've been looking like Frodo this whole time. No one tells me to my face. Yeah.

So then I'm like, what are they saying? They must be saying. I'm calling up a picture. You just Google me Because I look like fucking Frodo Frodo This is interesting That you should say that

I don't even know what Like you know when you go to This is That is me I look like I got the same haircut as Frodo I've had the same haircut as Frodo For 20 years

Okay Hair Yes I don't think Facial Facial similar You're doing the eyes right now Is that

Look, my rings in the same place as Frodo. Right. Because I can't fit him on my fingers anymore. Okay. I know what you mean about the hair. Like, the hair is not that dissimilar from Frodo. I just, like, couldn't believe how it was, it's hard to see yourself on screen. I know what you mean, though.

It's not so different, but it's mostly hair. It's mostly the hair. You'd hope. Right. But also, like, he's like a little guy. He's supposed to be a little guy. that loves to like eat little sausages. So you're watching Lord of the Rings for the first time

because you're pregnant and you're like, oh no, I'm Frodo. And no one told me I'm Frodo. It's tough because you know they're saying it behind. Yeah, totally. And I don't think they are. I mean, I know what you mean, though. I mean, certainly I've never said that Joe looks like Frodo.

But I will say, like, I've had this thing recently where like, I don't think about what I look like until I'm walking down the street and like a pear-shaped middle-aged ogre walks up to me and goes, I totally relate to your comedy. And I'm like, oh, okay. I guess that's, I guess I look, I guess I look a little bit like that guy. But before that, I didn't actually know what I looked like. I just don't think about it. I'm like a blank slate. I think I'm nothing.

I think I look like nothing. Try watching Lord of the Rings for the first time, realizing then. No, I know. No, I know what you mean. That's pear-shaped. He's supposed to be jelly bean shaped. What do you think you look like? Before you saw Lord of the Rings, what did you think you looked like?

You know when you go to get a haircut, you like pull up all these images? I've heard that people do this. People do this. I've never done this, yeah. They pull up these. images of like cute. You just go in there and you say, do whatever. Yeah, yeah, do whatever.

You really do. I go do whatever. That's like literally what I do. You don't have a in mind? Nope. When I go to the haircut, I go, I go, see how like it doesn't look like anything? Like, doesn't look like it has a part. It doesn't look like it's supposed to be anything.

That's sort of like what it is. That's literally what I say. And you say, keep it that. way. Yeah, I go, yeah, whatever that is, just less of it. Okay. I don't show them a photo. Well, it's like, for years I've been Googling photos of like, it's like thin curly hair, like small head, curly hair, good haircut, these things. I've spent probably a year of my life, Googling pictures of, of beautiful women with sort of my hair texture. to show these people when all these years I could have just been saying give me the Frodo.

Give me the Frodo. And that's what they do. I get the same hair. What if you walked into the salon and they go, Frodo's here? They probably do. And they ring a bell. They probably do.

There's a secret bell. They have a little silent alarm under their station. And it says Frodo. It lights up. Can you believe Samwise Ganji? What? Can you believe that's our president?

Who? Sam Wise Gamji. What do you mean Samwise Gamji? Who's that? Is that in Lord of the Rings? Mm-hmm. Okay. He's a president of Sagafra.

Oh, he's the president of Sagafra. You know, sometimes when people say, The president, I don't immediately go to Sag After. I usually go to the President of the United States or something like that. I couldn't believe it. Okay, so one of the people in Lord of the Rings is... Our president. The President of Sag After.

Wow. You got that written down? No, but it's funny. I have a Lord of the Rings joke. It's so coincidental. Because I'll get it now. I didn't get any of this stuff before, Galadriel. Well, I had this thing where I was like, there's all these reverse aging skin oils,

but I'm pretty sure they're just oil. Because when you read the ingredients, it's like oil, green tea extract. And then I wrote, I was like free associating. Like if I made skin cream on the ingredients, I would just write God's magic. and people would be like, wait, what? How can you prove it's God's magic? And I'd be like, isn't that what faith is? But the actual...

Okay, so that's what I wrote down, but then actually, I had a callback to it a while back, which was like... Like, the lotions... I go for the lotion. I get the lotions. The lotions aren't working. The lotions are like if Gollum used lotion.

Like if Gollum, and you know that if Gollum used lotion, they'd be like, Gallum, it looks good. I think the lotions are working. And he'd be like, the lotion aren't working. Gollum's in Lord of the Rings, right? Yeah, but then part of him would be like, the lotions are working. He loves the lotions. He's good.

I should do that as a bit, right? You should. You should. The lotions aren't working. Or the lotions are working. The lotions are working. I feel like we're all Ghalem with these lotions. You know what I mean?

Like everyone's using the lotions. The lotions aren't working. We're all Ghalem. Also, because he starts off as Andy Circus. Yeah. Human. Right? Did you know this?

No. What do you mean? Gollum starts off as a human? Yeah. Okay. Okay? But then he becomes Ghalam. Yeah, basically.

Okay. Through want. Through want, yeah. Yeah. Somehow he, his eyes roll apart and he gets, and he loses a few teeth. And then he's gallum. He does, his bones get smaller. Mm-hmm.

And then he loves the taste of wet, delicious fish. So I think I should include that in the joke. Yeah. He loves the taste of wet, delicious fish. The lotions are working. I love the taste of wet delicious fish. They're like, you've been running jokes by someone weird? And you're like, yeah, sorry about that, but cut the next part.

Are you kidding me? No, this stays in. Have you tried it yet? Wet delicious fish? No, no. I just bought a spot. Have you tried the gallum? No.

You know what's funny? I ran it on this show. It's been in my notebook for a few years. I ran it on this show for people who want to peek behind the curtain of how these jokes end up being like jokes on stage versus just being on the podcast kind of thing. It's like, I swear to God, I'll write hundreds if not thousands of jokes.

And most of them are garbage. You know what I mean? Sure. Just like garbage. I actually saw, I think it was on the New York Times interview with Olivia Rodrigo the other day because she had an album come out. She was like, I write thousands of things.

of songs. You just hear the good ones. You know, and I was like, oh, I totally relate to that. Whoa. It makes a lot of sense to me. Because, like, yeah, I write tons and tons and tons of instructions. And then I'll try them out on the show here. And then if they feel like something, I'll try them on stage.

And then sometimes, like, they just do terribly on stage. And then they're never to be heard from again. But in the case of Gollum's Lotions, I did it. a few years ago on an episode to remain nameless. And the person just didn't dig it that much. And it took the wind out of my sails on Gallum's lotions. And just I haven't done it since. But actually what's funny is when I remember when I first had it, I'm like, this is pretty funny.

Like, there's something here. Because also it ties into like another thing I've been trying to work on. I did a few episodes ago about how like the hotness industry. is like this billion dollar industry, but like how many hot people do you see a day? Like, like Joe Firestone, like how many do you see a day? People are hot, bonafide hot. Zero. Okay, you say zero.

I've heard people say five. My number would be like three, maybe. Think about how many people you see a day. How many people you see? I was in Central Park today. Yeah. Probably see 500,000 people. My neck was going 360 trying to find somebody.

Yeah, yeah. You see it, let's say you see 500,000 people today. Three people are hot. I mean, that is a failing industry. And by the way, those people probably were already hot. No, they should make that industry the dog industry. Then you know it's working. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's, yeah. So anyway, maybe there's a universe where, The billion-dollar hotness industry, Golums, lotions, and then the God's magic could all fit together into like a run about lotions and skin oils. I don't know. I think that person, whoever they were, when they heard the joke, they just hadn't seen Lord of the Rings.

That could be. Because a lot of stuff. People, my whole, the last 25 years I've missed, I've missed a lot of references. Yeah. People have been shouting Lord of the Rings stuff in me for decades. Yeah.

And I don't know any of it. And now I do. No, totally. I think I feel that way about Lord of the Rings. Like I saw it when it came out. That was it. I saw the first one when it came out. That's my only point of reference.

But all the... Okay. I do the crossword every day. Yeah, I do too. Okay? And they're always talking about Lord of the Rings. You're right. More than Mel Otts.

They're always talking about orcs and ends. Mel Outs. More than Ione's sky. Oh, God. Can you believe how much? She was in it yesterday. Yes, she was, and she's getting some good airplay, wouldn't it? Oh, I know.

I don't know. There's certain people who get so much action in the crossword. Absolutely. Well, or does, ORE, any kind of metal, metal compound. And Bobby Oar. Bobby Oar. Yep. Come on.

The three-letter celebrities are just killing it in the crossword. If you could change your name to Mike Burr, you would be so successful. You'd get that, you'd get that New York Times hit. I'd get that Bill Burr spill off, too. Oh, that. But like, hold on, this is interesting. I didn't know you and I both did the crossword. How many days do you get in per week?

Because I, it gets sticky for me around Thursday. And then I have to do check puzzle. I do check puzzle usually Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Yeah, Friday, Saturday, I'm checking puzzle. Okay, Friday Saturday, but what about Sunday? Sunday, sometimes I can get through it. Oh, you get through it without a check puzzle? Like last yesterday, I thought,

I could do this yesterday. Here's, I'm going to tell these guys, these are the producers of the podcast. You're going to want to take this out. I implore you to keep it in, and I'll tell you why. The nerds like me and Joe want to know about using the check puzzle. And I know in your mind, you guys are looking at this going, we're cutting this out, we edit the podcast. This is fully boring. to the people, the true nerds.

This is all that matters in the episode. Okay. And you know who really matters to? Bobby Orr. Can you imagine? Yeah. Do you think he even knows? He must.

But anyway, they're always saying, like, the clues are always like, mystical creature, enemy of the hell. Yes, yes. Now, I'm like, yeah. Now, I know for sure. Yeah. No, you're right.

I didn't know an aunt from an org. Yeah. Now I do. I had to learn Spanish to get better at the crossword. Of course you did. To be able to answer an aunt in Mexico City. Oh, gosh. But I do think that, I do think that Lord and the Rings and Harry Potter are the same movie.

That's what we realized. Yeah. It's exactly the same. Yep. Yep. Yep. It is. Yes. Absolutely. I have questions. Okay. You got married at City Hall?

I did. Yeah. Who was your witness? Oh, I thought who was your husband. Mike. My dad was the witness. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, but like, so basically we were like so worried because they were like, it's going to take four hours.

Yeah, because I got married City Hall too. You did. Yeah, it took a while. We were like rushing our parents. We're like, we got to do this. And so like my dad went through security and they made him take his belt off. Yeah. And then like he like, he wasn't like, he was, we were rushing him so much.

He didn't have time to put his belt back on. Yeah. By the time he was like at the desk, like making an oath. So he had to make an oath while holding up one. He held up his hands with one hand and had his hand up with the other. And I was like, this is our witness. I think he was one of the people who said I relate to him. to your comedy.

But then he's like... I have a... A lot of my demo is people holding up half of their pants with their hands. You gotta do more jokes about belts. You can change lives. But he does this thing where he like...

My dad's really big on... His pockets are filled with peppermints and $2 bills. Okay. And so like whenever... He has like a good interaction with anybody. Yeah. He'll like handshake them either a $2 bill or a peppermint. Mm-hmm.

That's nice. It's. Oh, my God. A little strange. It's strange. No, no. Without a doubt, it's strange. But I do think in general it's pretty nice.

But he gave her a $2 bill. And I was like... The security woman? Yeah. Interesting. And I was like, I don't know. That feels... Wow.

I don't know. Wow. But, yeah, we just got, we got married and then we went to carmines. Oh, Carmines is nice. In Times Square? No, the one on the Upper West Side. Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah, it's pretty good.

They know they serve too much, so they started giving you doggy bags halfway through the meal. That's a good restaurant. Did you just get married, like just recently? In February. February? Uh-huh. So was it a shotgun wedding, like, in the sense of, okay, I'm pregnant?

Uh-huh. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely, yeah. I said, come on, let's do this. Did your dad know you were pregnant? Yeah, everybody knew we were pregnant. Okay. Yeah, well, we were like pre-engaged.

Okay, pre-engaged, yeah, yeah. And that was before I got pregnant. And then I was like, come on now, let's do it. Come on. Marriage. Did you want to get married or did you just feel like, okay. I was giving ultimatums left and right. We've been together for eight years.

I've been given ultimatums for seven of those years. And each time he's saying, yeah. Ultimatums don't get enough respect. They're not. Ultimatums are fine, I think. There's a lot of ultimatum shame them. Ultim shame them. That sounds like a really good word game.

There's a lot of ultimatum shame is what I meant to say. And I don't think this should be. It's fine. You do them? Yeah, I would do them. I didn't do them, but I would do them. It was like, well, it's like stating your intention. Well, but then you got to.

This is what I want. It actually creates, how I see it. It creates more work for yourself. Yeah, that's true. If you don't build this birdhouse, I'm going to do it myself. Whoops. Now you've got to build a bird house. I felt like I had to look this up.

What? A shotgun wedding is a hastily. arranged marriage prompted by an unplanned pregnancy, the term originates from the historical notion that the bride's father or male relatives would literally threaten a reluctant groom with a shotgun to force him to marry the woman and protect the family's honor. So is that what happened? Sure, yeah, absolutely. That's what I figured. Yeah, there's guns. You better marry my 40-year-old daughter. That is so wild.

So you got pregnant, and then you're like, it's my seventh ultimatum. Yes, yes. I said, well then, but then with the city hall, they only let you plan at three weeks in advance. Yeah. And so you're like, I'm just going to do it. Yeah. We're just going to do it. Yeah.

And so I was like, can, and he, he's got a lot of, he worked. a lot. So I was like, are you working then? And he's like, no. And I was like, we're doing it then. Oh, wow. I know. It was pretty exciting. I have a hard time taking you seriously because of the way you speak. For sure. Does that ever come up in life where you're trying to do serious things and people are like laughing? And you're like, no, no, I'm serious. Yeah. Yeah, I do.

Like, I'm trying, no, I'm trying to get married. They're like, ha, ha, ha. I do think, I do think. But again, these are things where I'm like, I'm going in here. Basically, here's the thing. And I think you talked about this just now where it's like your perception, you are like, in my mind, I am a normal height. Yeah. I don't even look like anybody from the Lord of the Rings. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I have a normal voice. Right. And I can go through life smoothly. Right. However, actually each of those three things provides hiccups. Yes. Right to the point where almost everything is difficult. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. It's got pluses and minuses. No. Just minuses. Just minuses. Yep. Do you find that you go through life pretty smoothly?

No. I got towed the other day. I was... I was in Hudson Valley scouting this summer camp for this movie I'm writing. And then I drove home to my daughter's end of year swim party. And I was just like, I'll park right here. I'll run in. I come out.

Car's gone. I'm like, oh, car's stolen. I'm like running around. And then I remember my laptops in the car. and so I'm like, oh, oh, no, I lost my laptop. But then I'm like, oh, I can track it. I can trap my laptop in here. So then I find the tracker and I can see a little picture of a laptop.

And it's like 10 blocks away. And then I'm jogging. I'm fully sweating. No belt. Pants falling down. People going, I totally relate to you. I realize it's like the Navy Yard. It's like me.

And I wait in a long line. and then I have no idea how to do this. I mean, I go, I have a car. This is the key. I think it might be here. He's like, what's the license plate? I don't even know what the license plate is. He pays, he has a bill.

I pay the thing. This is what kills me. You're in these situations and stuff, you know, and I go, hey, and I've been nothing but, like, sweet and like passive. And I go like, okay, now that I've paid this, where should I go for the car? And he goes, I told you. Over there.

And in my mind, I'm going, you didn't tell me? I might have been doing this wrong, ten different ways, but I know for sure you didn't tell me. I know for sure. And you're yelling at me. You're yelling at me your thesis, which is that you already told me? Anyway, which is all to say, no, it's not all uncidory. Did you know why you got towed? You parked on top of a fire hydrant?

Yeah. No, it wasn't even a fire hydrant. It was just no parking. It wasn't even a tow zone. I think they were a little toe happy. Dang. That's brutal. No, it was rough.

Do you have an update on how your senior citizen comedy students are doing? Yeah. Okay. Saw them yesterday. You teach senior citizens how to do comedy. Yeah, well. Or used to. Yeah.

At this point, it's more of a community meeting. Okay. So we meet every week on Zoom. And, and... How long have we been doing this? Ten years? Six years. Okay.

A little over six years. Yeah. And I just learned this week that they have to be over 60 to be in the class. Why? That's the rule. Okay. So I said if anybody's here is kind of skirting under. Yeah.

Any young chickens, you got to go. But luckily they said they're all over 60. Okay. But that they're doing pretty good. But they did tell me recently, they told me a couple months ago that they haven't learned anything in years. but they do keep showing up. They haven't learned anything in years from the meetings about comedy. I mean, okay, six years of teaching comedy class?

Yeah, there's only so many lessons. Yeah, what can you say? At a certain point, you're just kind of saying, well, today's more of a, let's just chat. Yeah. Right? Yeah, yeah. But sometimes I bring in guest teachers. Yeah.

And then they get really excited because they're. They think, finally, we're going to learn something. Sometimes, I have to say, sometimes I think I should just be performing in old folks' homes and prisons and hospitals. I do think that sometimes. You'd crush. Well, I always think that, like, I'm always like, wait, isn't that at the heart of all of this? Isn't that at the heart of comedy just making people laugh who maybe are having a hard day? I will say in theory, absolutely.

Yeah. During Hurricane Sandy. God. What a pivot. I had the same thought. Okay. Isn't comedy supposed to get people through the hardest times? Yeah. Isn't that the idea?

I go to a place where a lot of people have been relocated. Their homes have been destroyed there in this armory. Right? It's a lot of elderly people. The lunches are always late. They're set up cots. and I say, I can do comedy. Yeah.

I can bring lightness to this space. I made these people so angry. They were shouting at me to be quiet. Yeah. Do not speak anymore. Oh, my God. And then they go, I already told you that. I'm saying it was, I couldn't, it was, I,

I realize you have to be, I think I'm at the skill set where I can make moderately happy people laugh a little bit more than they were going to. Right. But to make people in despair change 180? Right. That is not my skill set. That's interesting. I think it could be. I think you and I could team up.

You could do it. No, I think you and I both. I think we could hit some prisons and hospitals. and... Because then this guy came in with a trumpet. Yeah. And the trumpet killed. Oh, the trumpet killed.

People love the trumpet. That's the thing. It's what I always envy about musicians. It's part of the reason why I picked up the guitar recently after like literally 20 years because I'm like, I want to be able to walk in any room and have some form of entertainment that will work regardless of the situation. Yeah. Yeah.

I have that exact thing. As long as you have your guitar with you. Yeah, just so that, like, honestly, like, I love street performers because they do the job of getting your attention if they're good. Yeah. And also entertaining you. Yeah. Like, both of those things are occurring simultaneously.

You love street performers. Yep. You stop. Buskers. You stop and you enjoy. Yeah, when they're good. And sometimes they're really good. Yeah.

Sometimes they're really good. Yeah. And then, and so, and you wish you could do that. Yeah, I do. You ever done maybe comedy on a, on a train or a corner? Never done that, but I've done, like, outdoor kind of festivals where it's not really even announced that someone's doing comedy. There's just a comedy stage at, like, a rock and roll festival. Yes.

And so you really have to fight for people's attention and then entertain. And it was all right. Really? Yeah, it was okay. I mean, I'm not saying it went great, but it was like, oh, okay. It was interesting. I would say I've done that as well, and that went pretty poorly as well. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, basically I need them strapped down. Yeah, you need them strapped down. Yeah. But that's the great thing about writing a book is that you don't know what they're doing. Yeah. They could be, you know, wiping with the whole thing. Sorry.

They could be juggling with it. But you go wiping? What does that mean wiping? I was making an allusion to the idea that they would be taking a dump and use my book. Okay. Well, that's what it was. That was. And I was hoping it would be quite a quick second.

Yeah, no, I understand. I hope people get your book that they, that they wipe and that they don't get pink eye. Can you, oh, can you imagine, though, can you imagine if my book gave people pink eye? Yeah, that would be unbelievable. I mean, it would be the most hated book. How'd you get that? How'd you get pink eye?

Oh, from this goddamn book? Sex on Murder Island. I can't even tell you the title. I can't, yeah, it's embarrassing. Do you have any jokes? What? Do you have any jokes in progress? I know you don't, quote, unquote, do stand up anymore, but, like, a lot of times we work out jokes on here, and you're one of my favorite comics.

I'm just like, you must have an arsenal of things in your head that are kind of half developed. Jokes? Yeah, jokes. Well, I'll say this. This is not a joke, but I think there's something there. Okay. Okay? So I have to get these new bras.

Yeah. Right? And at this point, basically the bras are the shape and size of mixing bowls. Okay. Okay, so then I went to go pick them up. You have to order them specialty. Yeah. Okay, because they don't sell these in stores because they would scare people.

Yeah. Oh, that's not a part of the body? Yeah, it is. It's a part of the body. Yeah, yeah, of course. Okay. So I ordered them and then I have something next. And then I said, I tried to return it.

They wouldn't let me. Yeah. They said, this is too rare of a thing. Yeah. You have to take this home. So now I'm thinking about using it. The bowls. Yeah, using it as bowls.

That's great. You know what you should get, you should get those Katie Perry, like, spinning bra things. If I could return it, I'd get it in a heartbeat. But these things are, there's too strict. But these, it's really, it's like you kind of have in your mind what a bra looks like. Right. And this is not that.

Now you think about mixing bowls. Yeah. Oh, what would I use to make a pasta salad? Yeah, yeah, exactly. How about two of those? I like that. What else are you working on? Let me see.

Let me see if I have anything. There's this story that I did on This American Life years ago, but I never did on an album. And I'm like, looking back on it going, oh, it was, I should do that. Like, because it's still, you ever look at other, like, old bits and you go, like, how come I stop doing that? No, but I think that that is just superpower of yours. Really? Yes. Okay.

Because me, I look back at bits and I say, why did I start? And I think that that is, I think that to understand, you know, have you ever taken a pottery class? Yeah. So they give you this big lump of clay. Yeah. And you're supposed to do, and it might not turn out well. Yeah. But then they're like, at a certain point, they're like, you've got to give back the clay and get new clay because you've used it too much.

But I don't think you ever think that. It seems like you're like, you can make something from this. Like, have you ever, like, I feel like you're not. someone who looks back at their old work with shame. And I think that's a really powerful thing to do and important for productive comedian. I don't look at much with shame, but honestly, I don't look at much. Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, if I did spend time looking at my old specials, I'd be like, eh. Would you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I try not to do that. So anyway, this is a story done in this American life a while back, which is, One day I was on the bus in New York City, and this lady walks on the bus, and she was pretty. And she wasn't just bus pretty.

She was pretty for the world, which was shocking for us bus goers. So I did this thing I sometimes do, and I see a pretty lady, which is I looked at her long enough to realize she's pretty. Then I looked at the floor, and then I never looked up again. that's my move so I'm staring at the floor I glance up at this guy who was next to me and he was staring at her like a vulture and it made me so mad

because I wanted to say to this guy like we all want to stare at that lady but we don't because we are decent people we've decided as a group we're not going to stare at that pretty lady but that's the difference between creepy people and decent people creepy people do things decent people want to do but have decided are not probably not a great idea

decent people are like I would like to stare at that lady that would make her uncomfortable creepy people are like look I'm 57 years old I have a thin mustache glasses from the 70s I'm going for it so I tell Jenny my wife this story and she goes is the moral of the story that you want credit for not being creepy and I say I think that's what it is

I think decent people should be true like firemen. We should have a day and a calendar. One month is just a guy at a pharmacy buying tampons and a yogurt. Another month is a guy holding a cup of tea with two hands. My month is just me in a sweatsuit, scooping

a litter bin. And Jenny goes, but you do get credit. I married you, and I said I want more than that. And that's the end. So I came across that the other day and I was like, that's a fun story. Didn't make it into anything, partly because it wasn't usually what happens with my stories is

they don't make it in, it's because they're not about anything that has to do with what the rest of the show is about. Yeah. So I was kind of like, as an open and a question, I would go, like, say to you, like, what's that about? Is that about anything? Well, I think that ties right into your, I was going to say the Gandalf cream, but it's, um. The skin oils? Yeah. Yeah. I think that goes right into it. Oh, that's interesting. The hot people industry. Yeah. Right, right, right. The billion dollar being hot industry. Yeah, that's the same kind of thing. Right. The person who's bus, the person who's Bus pretty. Yeah.

Yeah. Not just bus pretty, but pretty for the world. Because you talk about how many people, how many half people have you seen? Yeah, I say three a day, five a day maybe. You say zero. And you'd say, and how many of those people are you seen on a bus? Very few. Almost never.

It's like a unicorn. Really is. It's almost never. But like, yeah, I think that that's interesting. But I guess the question is like, is that relatable? Is that how you feel on public transport? Do you ever think about that? staring at people, not staring at people, not looking at people, giving people space.

You know what? I do think that it's important to not give people, or to give people space. But now I will say that this is this new thing where I thought that when I was pregnant, I would, people would stand. Oh, my gosh. Yes. And they do not stand. Oh, they don't stand.

They look at me. I stand. I would stand if I were there. They look at me. Really? They look at me like I've got some kind of disease. Right, which... Yes, sure.

Pink eye. Yes, absolutely. I've got pink eye in both eyes, of course. Yes, I'm touching the pole, and yes, I'm sure they don't want to touch the pole after me. Shame on them, though, not standing up for you. But I think that what it requires is the pregnant person to stare down the people sitting. I think so. So I think it requires you to be indecent.

You have to be indecent. And then I was like... like, I don't even know who do I look at. Right. And Mike was like, look at a woman. Maybe look at a woman. Okay. And I was like, well, which woman?

And he said, the littlest one. The littlest one? I said, why? Yeah. Why? He goes, just start there. The littlest one? The littlest one?

I don't know why. I wonder if people know you're pregnant. Maybe you're like subtly pregnant or something. But now you're not subtly pregnant. But maybe like earlier in the pregnancy, you were. Maybe. Here's a hot take on people taking up space on the train. You know, the cliche is man spreading.

Sure. Men, you know, they have spreading their legs. And that's real. But a lot of people spreading. Like, people take up space. People take up space. In ways that are really aggressive on those trains. And it is men, but it is also other people.

The thing is, and I'll say this, the... This is me on a train. But have you tried to spread? Have you tried to spread? Have I, this made. The whole ride. I'm like squeezing my shoulders. Right now, I'll say this.

If you were a comedian that did. impressions. And he did that and you go, what am I? What am I? And then you go, I'm a book on a shelf. You look like a book on a shelf. Book on a shelf. Yeah.

Yeah. But you really should try it. It does feel awesome. Spreading. Yeah. Spreading. Okay. I mean, I could try it.

I actually genuinely feel bad. But just do it one night. Just for fun. No one's on the train. You're not hurting anybody. Just try it. Keep in mind, the spreading is real. The man spreading is real. Like, I witnessed that a lot, too. Sure. That's, yeah. They're spreading, they're spawning. Of course.

They're spreading their spawning. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I am. For sure. It feels good to spleen and it feels good to spread. Yeah. That's the takeaway here. Absolutely. I got you with Thong. I wanted you to have this. I, all right, the last thing we do, the last thing we do is working it out for a cause. Is there a nonprofit?

I know you do a ton of nonprofit benefits and things. Is there a nonprofit you like to give to? We will contribute to them and link to them in the show notes. You know what I really like now is this nonprofit baby to baby? Baby to baby. Yeah. That's great. So it gives baby supplies to people that need it.

And then also in Christmas time, they do like big gifts for kids. That's baby to baby.org. That's great. Okay. We're going to contribute to them. We're going to link to them in the show notes. Oh. And Joe Firestone.

Can I tell you this? These cards, you look at, I know you just ended this. But I just got to say this, these cards, you know, you're just like taking it all in. I would say 85% of them have the word pizza on them. Yeah. You got your next hour. Yeah.

There's a lot of pizza. I write a lot of pizza jokes. I write a lot of food jokes. I mean, it's just like what's on my brain. But then I only, I limit myself to a certain number of pizza jokes per special. I'll only do about four pizza jokes per special. I got integrity. Working it out because it's not done.

Working it out. That's going to do it for another episode of working it out. The best way to keep up with Joe Firestone, because she's not really on social media, is to subscribe to her Substack newsletter. It's called Joe Firestone's passionate newsletter. It is so funny, like everything she does, you can subscribe at joefirestone.substack.com.

You can get her new book, Sex, murder island from your local bookstore. If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe to Working Out Premium for the extended versions. We kept in all the stuff she demanded we keep out. It's all over there on premium. Check up berbiggs.com to sign up for the mailing list. And to be the first to know, but my upcoming shows are producers of working out or myself, along with Peter Salomon, Joseph, Berbiglia, Mabel Lewis, and Gary Simons.

Sound Mixed by Ben Cruz, special thanks to Jack Antonoff and bleachers for their music. My wife, the poet, J. Hope Stein, and our daughter, Una, who built the original Radio Fort made of pillows. Thanks most of all to you who are listening if you enjoy this show. Please rate us and review us on Apple Podcasts. It really helps people find it. Tell your friends, tell your enemies,

tell Gollum from Lord of the Rings. Next time you're in Middle Earth, stop by Gollum's Place. Say, hey, Gollum, I know you're all bent out of shape about that ring, but maybe try to listen to this podcast called Mike Birbiggily is working it out.

It's where Mike Barbigley talks to other comedians about the creative process. Maybe it'll help take your mind off that ring. You can even listen while you're enjoying some wet delicious fish. Thanks, everybody. We're working it out. We'll see you next time.