Mike Birbiglia's Working It Out - 32. Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter-Life Crisis Meets Mid-Life Crisis

Episode Date: February 22, 2021

Taylor Tomlinson is only 27 and already has her own hit comedy special on Netflix called “Quarter-life Crisis.” Mike bonds with this prolific joke writer over her unique introduction into comedy when her dad signed the two of them up for a stand-up comedy class at church when she was 16. Mike and Taylor have a candid talk about panic attacks, therapy, and comedians resenting other comedians for the right and wrong reasons. Many jokes. Many laughs. Many confessions. https://www.lafoodbank.org/

Taylor, where should we begin? I mean, wherever you want. This is your podcast. Hey, everybody, we're back with a new episode of Working It Out with a great comedian, Taylor Tomlinson, sort of a prodigy of sorts. She's 27 years old and has her own Netflix special called Quarter Life Crisis,

which I couldn't recommend more highly. One thing to note, we hit on some sensitive subjects. One of them is suicidal thoughts. So if you don't want to hear about that today, this might not be the episode for you. But what an episode. This is a great comedy mind, a great improviser, someone who builds jokes really quickly and expertly. And it's, man, I had a lot of fun. Enjoy my chat with Taylor Tomlinson. So you started at 16, and then I read the thing about how you and your dad started to,

like, did an open mic together together and he tried stand up too. Yeah. Worse than that. We took a standup class, um, from a church comedian, uh, with like five other adults,

uh, who did not end up doing it. And, you know, I, I think he just wanted to hang out. And if anything was like, you can write for me. And I was like, okay, I have he just wanted to hang out. And if anything was like, you can write for me.

And I was like, okay, I have homework. And then, uh, yeah, I mean, it just, it just kind of happened. And then I went away to school for like a semester and I was like, oh, I have to, I have to actually do standup. I miss it so much. Um, but before that I was so scared of it. Like, it so much. But before that, I was so scared of it. Like, I don't have a personality that I think is good for the entertainment industry. Like, do you ever feel like that where you're like, this doesn't really make any sense. Like, I don't really like people looking at me and I don't like to be the center of attention. And, but except right now at seven andm. every single night. And if I don't get it, I'll die. Like I, but I don't, I'm not like a risk taker. I just, cause there are a lot of comics who like to drink and party

and I don't have any of that. Like this is the riskiest thing I've ever done is stand up comedy for a living. Yeah, it's such a strange thing. And then like you were at church, and then your act is not churchy. I mean, like me, you talk about Christianity, and I talk about Christianity and being raised that way,

but, like, do your church friends, like, dig what you're talking about, or are they kind of like, I wish you wouldn't talk so much about sex or whatever? I mean, my church friend, I don't think cares. I have like two church friends and like one of them is a comedian who's pretty cool

and I wouldn't call a church person, but is just still, you know, Christian. But yeah, the other friend I have from like childhood who's very religious has never been like, have you ever thought about toning it down? Like she's never done that to me. That's really funny. And your dad likes it, it sounds like? No, no, he has not seen the special. No way. Oh, no, of course not. He hasn't watched it. He and my stepmom, neither of them have. I ran the jokes about him past him before I recorded it

because I didn't want somebody at church to come up to him or wherever and say, oh, your daughter's joke about you doing that and that. It was so funny. And then he doesn't know what they're talking about. Like, I didn't want anything to get butchered and then sound even worse than what it was. So I called him and was like,

these are the jokes about you. I just want you to know. And he was like, thank you. I appreciate that. And yeah, then after it came out, they did not watch it. They still haven't. Wow. You know haven't. Wow.

You know, which is fine. I'm not their cup of tea. Wouldn't be if I wasn't their daughter. You and I have that in common. I mean, my parents have seen me. I mean, it's been 20 years, so eventually they sort of have to. Right. But early on, I would say for years, they did not watch things I did.

They kept encouraging me to be a clean comedian. And my mom is very Catholic and all that kind of stuff. But, yeah, I mean, it's a unique experience when your parents, when your parents, like, are okay technically with what you're doing, but they're not interested. Right. Well, they enjoy that you're successful. They're like, isn't it great that you have health insurance? But we don't want to know how you got it.

Yeah, yeah, totally. we don't we don't want to know how you got it. Like, yeah, yeah, totally. We're not good with the words you said in order to procure that health insurance. But, you know, they can watch like Tonight Show sets like those are safe. But yeah, I think as you get older, everyone has this with their parents. We're like, we just don't talk about certain things. Oh my gosh. And you know, with like Trump and the pandemic, like there's a lot of things that are not on the table. And you just kind of live that way. You just get better at it. Yeah. You just have different levels of denial with different people. Yes, exactly. Exactly. I have that with my family for sure.

Right. Like I have, like it's become this thing where everyone's a different level on the spectrum of denial. Right. Yes. Do you, did you do that thing where you sort of started testing the boundaries with different parts of your family? I don't know how much of your family is religious. My entire family is religious. So I, over the years, I kind of started going, can I, can I say bitch in front of Nana? All right. That seemed to work, you know, like, okay, can, can so-and-so come out to our aunt and uncle on this side of the family? Okay. That seemed to go all right. Like just sort of so funny you know my my grandma actually watched my special and afterward i was like she's like you are so funny and you

know there was one dirty joke that she actually really liked that my dad hadn't and i was like i'm sorry that i'm so filthy now and she goes you're not filthy. You're just naughty. And it was so nice. I love that. It was so nice. Oh my gosh, it's so funny. You have that joke about your dad that I was like, she must have vetted that with her dad about you expressing suicidal thoughts as a teenager

and him pulling out a knife and being like, be my guest or whatever yes that was the one joke in quarter life crisis that i sort of wish i had saved for this new hour i'm doing because the new hour is a lot more about like that stuff like therapy and mental health and there's like some suicidal thoughts in there and and you know medication and all these things and it's so it was just so funny to me to do like this special about like being in your 20s is crazy and then there's just one in there that's like and then one time i wanted to kill myself and my dad was like go for it i did i did run it by him and that joke is true that i brought

it up to him once and he was like oh yeah i remember that and i started doing it on stage and so many people came up to me afterward and were like oh my dad did that too i had some girls come up to me in like dallas i think who were like oh my god that joke was so funny our dad did the same thing but it was a gun and I was like oh my god holy shit oh my god that's like probably illegal yeah I think it might be like if you called the cops and told them that story like they'd show up. Right. They'd do a check in. Yeah, yeah. You know, we heard some noise coming from the house. But I did. I ran it past him and I kind of expected him to be like, don't tell that story.

But he didn't. He was just like, okay, thanks for running it by me. Oh my gosh. Because I think sometimes your parents just don't want to be surprised. Yeah. Like, I don't know to be surprised yeah like i don't know my parents like that i feel like this too with a lot of things we're like i can i can handle bad news or whatever but just don't surprise me like just let me know what to expect so i wanted to i wanted to try and handle it correctly um and so that's what i did and luckily he wasn't like furious and like don't say any of that

but I think so many people had experiences like that with their parents I mean I listened to your episode with Nikki Glazer this morning to sort of get an idea for the format here and her telling a story about telling her mom she hates her and her mom

going I hate you too like that's exactly the same thing. It's just, we all have stories about when our parents were so upset with us, they said the worst thing. And now we have to spend a lot of money in therapy to fix it. And they have to just know that they said that thing once forever.

Yeah. Which makes me terrified to have kids because I know I'll say something horrific and I'll just have to live with it forever. Yeah. I mean, I think about that. I, I, my daughter's almost six years old and I think about that constantly is like, when is going to be the thing that I say that is the wrong thing? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, and we like dote on her like, you know, like she's a royalty.

But still. But then she'll be in therapy 20 years from now going, they were too nice to me. And now. It was like I was royalty. Yes. And that's not how life is. And they've actually fucked me up that way. and that's not how life is and they've actually fucked me up that way i i wanted to do a joke about this but i didn't i didn't want to make it sound like my parents were bad people but i have always wanted to do a joke about the fact that like my parents fucked

up but not bad enough for me to cut them out of my life that's's funny. You know, like just enough that I have to go to therapy every week, but not enough that I can be like, I'm not going to talk to you anymore. Yeah. That's actually a really specific distinction. And I feel like a ton of people would relate to that because I certainly have people like that in my life where it's like, I have distant relatives where they're sweet. We've had good interactions. But like there's certain things that they've said on like social media or whatever. It's like this is sort of a non-starter. Yeah.

Right. I don't know where we go from here. Okay. We're just going to put you over here in this corner of my life with all the other things i don't know like you kind of put all those people in your family in like the cabinet that you put all the shit in when you're cleaning out your house and you get tired but there's still a pile yeah and you're like okay i just have to find a place but there's still to put all these yeah like i don't want to get rid of this stuff because what if I need it?

I'm so excited for your next hour because you're saying like you're going to talk a lot about these personal things in your next hour. you're going to talk a lot about these personal things in your next hour. And then like, even I was really moved by in the spring on Instagram, when you posted about your panic attacks, you took photos of yourself when you were having, or after you had had panic attacks and said, this is what this looks like. And for me, and I was really moved by that because I, I find that like Instagram can be such a cancer.

Like it can be such a horrible thing where it's like people photographing themselves in these really false ways that paint a picture of a reality that doesn't exist. And like I just really admired that. I wonder like do you think you'll talk about that in your next, like panic attacks and stuff like that? Oh, yeah, absolutely. I mean, I always feel like I'm always a little afraid when when my career is going well or like something good is happening that everyone's going to look at what I'm posting on Instagram and be like, shut the fuck up. We're just annoying. I also don't want to seem like everything is great. So I did that shortly after the special came out and kind of wrote something about this is what I was going through when i was filming the special because i had a

panic attack that morning i had to like take klonopin and stuff and um wow and no wonder it was so good right i was very calm it was really i look this is i'm coming out i i used performance enhancing uh drugs i i really i just wanted wanted to be upfront about the fact that like, I think you can see people's posts on Instagram and go, wow, they're having like a, a banger of a year. And you have no idea that like, in my case, a few months before that, like my engagement fell apart and I was like trying to get on antidepressants and I couldn't find something that worked. And I was like trying to get on antidepressants and I couldn't find something that worked. And I was having, you know, whatever, like a lot of, a lot of stuff was going on and my mental health was not good. And, um, thank God I had the special to prepare for, to sort of distract me from all of that.

Um, I mean, I was texting my, my best friend from like childhood the other night and I was like, you know how we've talked about like, oh, you looked great in your special. I was like, I was so sad. And that's why I was on the thinner side. It wasn't like I was like on this. Oh my gosh. It wasn't like I was on this like strict diet

and working out every day. I was just so heartbroken that i couldn't really eat because i felt nauseous and then when i finally did it was like you know i was also so stressed so you'd like eat and then you just have like stress diarrhea and you're like is anything even being absorbed into my body like it just was not a good time. And yet I was about to do the biggest thing I'd ever done and achieve this goal I'd had forever. Um, and I just wanted to be honest about all that and maybe, and maybe also to offset some of the, uh, the resentment I'm sure that I, I don't know about, but I'm sure, that I don't know about,

but I'm sure is happening, of people going like, why did you get that and not me? Which I completely get. I had that. You had that? I had that. Well, I was on Letterman when I was 24,

which in the era that I came up in was a really big deal. Yes. And it was, and I did a special for Comedy Central and whatever. So I had the thing where, you know, some comedians didn't like me just because of that. Yeah. And then some of them for real reasons. That I deserve.

Because I'm not infallible. There's a million real reasons not to like me. And I talk extensively about them on stage. But that one's not on me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Being successful in your mid-20s is a little bit unfair to be mad about you know whatever and uh yeah that's like a weird thing because like one of the things when i was watching your special i'm like okay you're 27 you shot that when you're like 25 right something

like that you're like it's this huge platform netflix is seen by 200 million people. It's a crazy amount of exposure. And you're writing really, really great, like, short, and I highly recommend people watch this special because it's so many great short jokes that are also very personal. You have this joke that I'll probably butcher, which is like, you know, my ex my ex-boyfriend and I, uh, broke up because he was, he was cheating on me in my head. And I just thought like, man,

that's a great joke. Cause it's what it's like nine, 10 words. And it like contains, it contains so much truth and story in such a short amount of time. Yeah. I mean, I, I, I feel like I'm not like a storyteller, I wouldn't say. That's something I really admire about comics like you or like Bert or something. I've never been able to tell a really long story. Taylor, we don't have to say that we admire Bert on here.

This is a safe space. Bert will not be listening to this and I will send him a version of this that doesn't have that in it. I will somehow edit it to where you say you don't. I really admire people like you and not Bert.

Bert Kreischer for the listeners who don't know who we're talking about. Very funny. And yeah, no, I think I've always just written that way. I've always written shorter jokes and maybe it's because I don't have the self-esteem to tell a long story. But it's also very important to me to have transitions and have everything like work together and flow and make sense. like work together and flow and make sense. So while I don't have these long stories,

I am like, okay, I want it to feel like I'm just saying one thing and sort of seamlessly go into the next topic so that it feels, you know, like it all flows and fits together. But when I was watching like that joke in particular, I was like, man, to be 25 and be able to write a joke that's that concise is real. It's not just talent, it's skill.

And trust issues. It's a lot of things. And trust issues too. But I was like, so talent's talent. You have that. But it's like the skill, like what created the discipline to be able to get yourself to a point where you could write jokes that are that compact? Oh, gosh, I don't know. I mean, I think once I knew I wanted to do it, I just spent a lot of time watching and listening to comedy.

just spent a lot of time watching and listening to comedy. And I think the fear of, of not being good enough and, you know, then getting some success somewhat early, that makes you want to work even harder so that you are, can sort of prove you deserved what you got, which you don't even believe you deserved because you have imposter syndrome. Yeah, I think I approached comedy very studiously.

I was like, I'm going to be really good at this technically so that even if I'm not the most talented person, at least I work really hard and people can see that. I had the exact same thing. I completely relate to what you're saying because my dad is a retired doctor and my mom's a retired nurse. And I had this sense of like, I have to treat this as seriously as if I were going to medical school, except it's for comedy. Yes. Yes, exactly. Treat it like it's a job until it is. And now that it is, I have to still remind myself to treat it like it's a job. Stepping away from my conversation with Taylor Tomlinson to announce the International Comedy Pizza Party that we're having at the end of March.

If you've been coming to these virtual shows, we're having a blast. Every show is a new, it's all new jokes, right? And so this one coming up in March is part seven, which is different jokes from part six, different jokes from part five, part four, et cetera, et cetera. This month in March is all about pizza. So it's all jokes about pizza.

It's special guests talking about pizza. It's slow round questions about pizza. If you have a good slow round answer or a good story about pizza, or you know a pizza chef personally, have them email subject slow round or pizza slow round to working it out pod at gmail.com. And you can get tickets for the worldwide pizza party at burbiggs.com. And now back to the show.

This is the thing that we do called the slow round. And one of the questions I always ask is like, do you have a memory from your childhood that runs on a loop, but it's not a story you've told on stage? All right, I have a few. One that I've always wanted to do a joke about, but I don't know how and I think about it all the time, is when I was like four, this is one of my earliest memories, when I was like four or five, I saw,

do you remember that cartoon Arthur? Yep with the artwork so there was an episode where arthur lies he like goes to a junkyard and scrapes his name it's like bad but he lies about it and up until that point in my life my very short life i didn't know you could just say something that wasn't true. I didn't even know that was an option. It's a huge revelation. Huge revelation. I was like, oh, you could just say something that isn't the thing. So I remember I was in bed at like, whatever, 8 p.m. or something. And I got out of bed and I went to the kitchen and I said, mom, I fell out of bed.

Like in my sleep, like I rolled out and she goes, oh, okay. Are you, are you okay? And I was like, yeah. And she goes, okay. All right. Just get back in bed. And I said, okay. So I went back to the room and I was like, that really didn't do anything for me. Um, maybe I have to confess. Maybe that's what, maybe that's where the magic is. So then I went back out to the kitchen and I was like, mom, I lied. I didn't fall out of bed.

I just got out of bed. And she was like, okay, well, don't lie to me again. And I was like, all right. And I just went back to bed. And I'm like, and as an adult, I don't lie ever. And I kind of feel like that's why, because my first experience with it was pretty lukewarm.

I was like, this isn't. That's so funny. I don't know why everyone's so into this. Didn't get me off at all. I love your mom's reaction, though. Yeah. She was just like, who cares? She's just like, really even keel.

Yeah. I'm like, this was a teachable moment, bitch. And you just let it float away. There's so many things like that. That's a great one. There's so many things like that. I was talking to the Lucas brothers on this podcast about, like, that moment in childhood where you realize you can just get your own snacks. The cabinet's not locked.

My daughter. Yeah, yeah. It's just a drawer. Right. And it's unlimited granola bars. It's just a drawer. it's just a drawer. It's so funny. Like remembering that you don't know anything as a kid,

nothing, nothing. And so people are like, you can lie. You can get snacks, right? You can lie and you can get snacks. That's,

those are the best parts of adulthood is just, yeah, of course, eating whatever you want and lying your best parts of adulthood is just yeah of course eating whatever you want and lying your ass off yeah yeah of course um do you have any memory that like makes you cringe i have a memory and i used to i used to try to do this on stage too this was so i did a joke on my first conan um about how you don't realize that something from your childhood was fucked up until you tell a friend the story and they're like jesus and the the example i gave in the joke was um you know oh yeah everybody gets tied in the yard like you just don't you think that's normal and i remember i had a call with jp jp buck

the booker of conan who uh who on the phone was like yeah i don't really have a lot of notes i just that one joke he's like it's it's so funny but do you have like a real example of something that happened to you and i said jp i. And that was the first draft of this joke. And it didn't work because it was too real. And it was like, okay. Because when I first started doing it, I would do a joke about the fact that when I was a kid and I would cry, my mom would lock me in the garage

until I stopped crying. Oh my gosh. I know. Oh my gosh. Lock you in the garage. Lock me in the garage. And so I told JP, I was like, yeah, the first draft of that joke was everybody gets locked in the garage when they cry. And I was like, that doesn't work because it's not silly enough for people to go, well, that didn't really happen. And it really did. And I think people

could sense that. And I did try to do a joke about that for a while. And what ended up happening is that joke that I did on Conan was like, you know, sometimes you want to do a joke about the go into because I think it is evocative. And I disagree with the idea that it's not relatable. I think it's relatable. I mean, my mom used to, like, tell me to go to my room and stuff like that. If the garage served that purpose in your house, I could see that happening. Right, yeah. You're like, go in the garage. It's like your room, but there's a lock and there's rats and it's cold.

Maybe the joke is like, my mom, when I would do something bad, she'd put me in the garage. She'd lock me in the garage, which would have been fine, except she turned on the car. I was about to say. It's so dark.

That was honestly the part that I didn't care for. I think she took it a little too far. Do you have a smell from childhood that you remember now, even as an adult? There's a very specific lotion smell of like the lotion my mom used to use growing up and i don't and my mom died when i was eight so that might be part of it but i i smell it every once in a while and i always forget where i smelled it and whenever i do i'm like oh my god that's it right there. And it doesn't even smell really good. It smells like, like just like a white hypoallergenic cream or something

that like was probably used on sensitive skin and I can't find it. And I'm like, and even if I could, I'm like, do I want to smell this all the time or will that just make me sad? But that's something I keep in there for sure. That's a lot. That's a lot. Well, no, I mean, of course, losing your mom at eight is so traumatic and awful. And then the memory, of course, the smell memory that connects to it is probably so evocative. How did she pass?

She had cancer, pretty standard. Oh. Yeah. And that's a good chunk of the new hour as well. Like, I think I did Quarter Life Crisis and comedy for 10 years so that I could do an hour that was a lot about my mom dying. Because I have a couple jokes that I tried when I was a lot about my mom dying. Cause I, I have a couple of jokes that I tried when I was a lot younger and people just didn't want to go with it. Cause I was so young and they felt bad. And now I feel like I'm mature enough as a comic that they do work. And it's kind of amazing where

I'm like, Oh my gosh, like I figured it out. I figured out how to say it so that people laugh instead of feeling bad. That happened to me with Sleepwalk With Me was the first time, and I was, I think I was 30 when we, it came out, but I started working on it when I was like 25, 26. But like, there was this thing where, you know, I jumped through a second story window sleepwalking. And I would say that on stage and people would be like, huh, well, that's sad. Right. Are you okay? Yeah. You know, and so a lot of it, it's such an interesting dance when you talk about things that are very sad.

And I'm a huge believer in like, that's where the best comedy is. And I'm a huge believer in like, that's where the best comedy is. Like, I can't wait to see your hour about that because that for me as an audience member, that's what's cathartic for me is when someone's opening up in that way. But it is this thing where like with Sleepwalk With Me, my director Seth and I always had to talk about how do we indicate to the audience early on in the show that I'm okay? Yes. Yes. early on in the show that I'm okay.

Yes, yes. It's the same idea as when I was really young, I used to really focus on how I came on stage and even just moved the mic stand to the back of the stage because I knew that I looked so young that people were nervous for me. And I was like, I have to make them comfortable really fast. So just look really comfortable. Look like you know what you're doing and you've been here before

because you're already kind of starting at a disadvantage in that way. I had the same exact thing. When I was in my 20s, I'd do really well at colleges and really poorly at like corporate events. Yes. Because people would just be like, what are you exactly? Yes, I know. Like, are you a grown up?

And I'd be like, yes, I am a grown up. Thanks for asking. They told me I was. Yeah. Yeah, but now, of course, I'm 42 it's like, I show up at corporates. They're like, you look like us. Yeah. Like you didn't put your name tag on. They're on the table coming in. That is a, that's a great joke. Actually. I, I, can I use that? That's actually like, well, cause I want to do a joke about how I do corporate events sometimes. I'm not willing to sell my soul, but I will rent it.

Right. You can lease my soul. You can lease my soul for an hour, but then I got to get it back to the shop by 10. hour, but then I got to get it back to the shop by 10. So this is the section of the show that I call working it out, which is like working out new bits. And so here's one that I had been working on. I don't know. I don't know if you have this. I write down a whole ton of jokes and a whole ton of stories. And then I'm like, I don't know if this will ever be in anything. Yes. I don't know if it'll be in a special. I don't know if it's anything. So this is an example of something like I wrote down,

which is living in New York is so strange because you witness people breaking up on the street all the time because it's too expensive to break up indoors. Because it's such an expensive city and everyone's apartment is so small that if you broke up indoors because it's such an expensive city and everyone's apartment is so small that if you broke up indoors you're physically in such close proximity to the person eventually you're like i guess we should just stay together and that's why you see all these married couples and like it feels i mean i've seen you in new york like i'm sure you felt this before, like you feel bad when you see people

like crying in the street or like, you know, like New York is small. Like it really, it does feel like a neighborhood sometimes. Like I saw this woman on the phone crying on the phone. I felt so bad and I wanted to walk up to her and be like, it's going to be okay. And then I thought what a nightmare that would be for her. Yeah. I mean, the man of her dreams just told her that they have no future together. And then this pear shaped middle-aged ogre walks up to her and says, I'm the future. Talk about a one-two punch. Oh my God. That's so funny.

So that's just called New York City breakups. Oh my gosh. I think that's so true. I mean, I dated someone who lives in New York and had a studio apartment. And it's true. Anytime you argue, you want to start just avoiding arguments because you're like,

there's not another room for me to go to to like cool off. And so you're like, OK, if we're going to fight, we have to fight during the day so I can take a walk and it can't be raining. Like it has to be nice weather because the only room to go to the only door I can close is the bathroom, which I just started referring to as the panic room. And then you've got to hope that they don't have to pee. So if you want to pick a fight with someone in New York, you have to go like, yeah, how much water have they been drinking today? Uh, is the weather nice enough for me to walk outside? Like you have, you have to have an escape route in case one of you has to cool down. And if you start fighting at like 10 p.m. and they've had a lot of, you know, Indian food, you're going to be trapped

because you can't go outside and you can't go to the bathroom. And then the follow up to that is, is that I don't, you know, I tell all my single friends, like, I don't recommend being single in New York. I'm like, I know this seems rude. I'm always just like, you need to leave here. And, you know, because single women in New York think they're living in the show Sex and the City and single men think they're living in the show Mad Men. And they're all living in Game of Thrones. And that doesn't end well. That is so funny. Oh, my God. That's so true.

You're right. I'm trying to think. It's a fucking illusion. The whole thing is like everyone's living in this weird simulation of dating right yeah everyone's living in survivor like there's so many shows you could put in game of thrones that would work for that one survivor's a good one yeah survivor everyone thinks they're in sex in the city or or mad men or friends like the only show that you have for, like, living in L.A. is Entourage.

And nobody would ever be like, it's like we're in Entourage. Like, that's not a cool thing to live in. Oh, my gosh. I had a, I was staying at the Roosevelt Hotel once years ago in Hollywood. And I was staying in a room by the swimming pool. And I had a dream that I was in the show Entourage.

And I had a sleepwalking incident where I'm on the set of the show Entourage and I'm banging on the door and telling them to be quiet, to stop being so loud filming Entourage. I wake up in the middle of the night and realize they're filming the show Entourage. The entire cast and crew all the stars i'm totally serious big party scene that i've never told this on stage or interview anywhere it's just you making that reference made me remember it that That's crazy. For a second, I thought what you were doing.

It was so crazy to me that they were actually doing that. I thought the joke was that you were having a nightmare about that and you woke up and the actual nightmare is the show's still on the air. That's what I thought you meant. That's so funny. That's certainly, if I were going to make that a joke, that's definitely in the mix. Oh, so the survivor tag, you're saying like, you know, women think they're in Sex and the City, men think they're in Mad Men, and they're all in Survivor, and they're all going to lose. But what's funny about the show Survivor is that everybody does survive.

Nobody dies on Survivor. That's very funny. They just get disappointed, except for one person, which is exactly how dating is. I think that's super smart. And then actually, I have one other thing in this area, and I've never said this to anyone, which is in the Mad Men universe, which is I feel like women often settle for men who are much worse than they are. Like, my favorite thing to do is, like, overhear couples in cafes. listening to this this couple and the woman goes there's a museum not far from here where they document matisse's process and it shows all of his paintings that led to the final painting it's like a documentation of his process but also the paintings are art unto themselves

and the guy just goes i think I jogged by that on my run. And I just thought she should leave him. Like, I know it's not the dumbest thing he could have said, but it's not great. Right. And all she heard was, he's so healthy, he jogs. She didn't hear, I don't know what you're talking about, I don't understand, and I'm not interested. All she heard was,

I have a great body, and I like you. That's absurd. I never would have thought of it that way. Stepping away from my conversation with Taylor Tomlinson to send a shout out to ship station as you know i only uh do ads for things that i use and enjoy that's that's what it takes around working it out to get an ad on the show whenever you order something something on Burbigs.com, whether it's a vinyl record or a t-shirt or a hooded Burbig sweatshirt, we use ShipStation. It's just a great service. You can ship with any carrier. You can access discounted shipping rates. Generally, the idea is you can

ship more in less time. And if you want to just try it out, use my offer code berbigs to get a 60-day free trial. Free? I'll try it even if I don't ship things. That's right. Free. Two months free of no hassle, stress-free shipping. Go to ShipStation.com, click on the microphone

on the top of the page, and type in berbigs. B-I-R-B-I-G-S. That's ShipStation.com. and type in Burbiggs. B-I-R-B-I-G-S. That's chipstation.com. Offer code Burbiggs. And now, back to the show. This is one I wrote down this morning. So a lot of men say this, like they'll masturbate before they go on a date

so that, whatever're they're not too aggressive or something like you masturbate before you go on the date um i realized that my version of that is i have to go on a better date before a date so that i don't get carried away. Oh, that's so funny. I have to go on a better date before that date. It's such a nice line. So that would probably work. I guess I would just say, like, what would that,

like, what would the build out of that, like, what would that look like? Like, I have to go out with someone who's, like, like, better looking and a good listener. Right, exactly. Like, I have to go to a museum with somebody in a sweater before I, you know, go to the beach with a douchebag. Before I go on a date, I go on another better date or I just have like a really good conversation

with my sister. Right. That's good. That's good. I have a really good conversation with my sister where she's like, I totally get what you're saying. And I'm like, okay, good. I'm full. I'm satiated. Now I can go not be listened to by this guy who works in finance. That's very funny. Oh, this is not a joke, but this is something I was thinking about that relates to that is like, I got on a dating app for like the first time ever

because I just like, let's get some material. Let's see what it's about. And if you meet someone cool and you'll talk to people. And I've been talking to friends of mine about a guy that i i was talking to and i was talking about his job and it's just like a really boring job and all my friends who work in entertainment are like oh my god he's so normal oh which is like, I wish like normal people knew that entertainers talk about them that way. Where like most people are like, oh my gosh, this actor DM'd me.

Yes. And we're over here like, oh my God, this graphic designer doesn't realize I'm mentally ill yet. That's hilarious. That's people don't realize. I think often that comedians and I would say very regularly we call non comedian civilians. Yes. Yes.

And just so insulting. It's so insulting. Which is so, and what plays into that is so funny to me that comedians will be like, just like nobody else gets it though. Like who else can we date besides comedians? They just don't get it. And it's like people in the military don't even say that. People in the military don't even go, how could I date someone who hasn't seen war? Like how could I even connect with someone who has an experience and we're over

here like nobody's gonna get how it feels to tell dick jokes every night like it's just such a specific experience i love that you should use that should i use that okay i'm like is this too inside baseball no no i think it's great I think when you open it out to the military, I think it becomes super relatable. Right, okay. All right. So this is a joke that I would love help on because there's part of it I haven't tried

and there's part of it that I have tried. And it does work, but only like 80% of the time. And I know it can get better because it's hard to do. So the way I usually get into it is I talk about like, oh, my parents don't come

and see me do standup anymore. And I get it. Like I have a dark sense of humor. That's not their sense of humor. I don't blame them. There are things that I think are funny that they don't. And I just think it's really important to make jokes about the darkest things that have ever happened to you. And then everybody's like, you know, yeah, totally. And

then I go, for example, did you guys know that sometimes when you call a suicide hotline and the call drops, they do not call you back. I did not know that. Yeah. Well, it genuinely happened to me a couple years ago. And that's what the joke is. Oh my gosh. Wow. Where like, I'm like, you'd think that'd be the time for star 69. But I guess sometimes they just ring a bell in the cubicle. Like lost another one.

That's lunch. Oh my gosh. Wow. I've had calls dropped when I'm like ordering sushi. And the restaurant calls you back immediately. Like, sorry, we lost you. Anyway, you wanted two spicy tuna rolls. Are you okay?

Do you want us to come check on you? And like, people will get uncomfortable. And I usually say, you know, if you're uncomfortable, it's okay. Like, yes, it really happened. And it was hilarious. I think that's what saved my life. Because I was on the floor of a Doubletree hotel just going, did this bitch just ghost me while I'm trying to ghost myself? That is hilarious. It worked so well. And again, I think it's so funny. It works most of the time. but it's, it's hard to, it's hard to do suicide drugs, especially when you're so far into a show where the audience likes you. And then you start talking about having very dark thoughts and

they're kind of like, but we like you, we don't want you to feel that way. And then the, the other joke that I haven't tried that I want to do with it is like, don't worry. I would never, I would never actually kill myself. And I know I wouldn't because my mom's already dead. And so you, you can't kill yourself when your mom's dead. It's like trying to call into work when the other cashier already went on vacation. Oh my God. Where they're like, look, we really need you to come in today. And you're like, but I'm sick. And they're like, it doesn't matter because trish isn't here so you have to come in like you have a responsibility to your family not to die because someone already did it oh that's interesting i think that's i think it's really funny and it's yeah it's real i mean obviously really dark

but it's like i think you have to get specific on who the they is. And I think it's like your family, basically. I mean, I think you're implying that it's your family. Yeah. You know what I mean? Right. But it's like, I think you have to go in deep on that. That makes sense.

Which is like, your family is like your job. And you can't. Yes. You can't. It's like calling into work and being like i can't make it but trish already can't make it so you know it's like it's like in your family like well mom's already dead like yes like our sister can't die too yeah you're kind of an asshole you know you know we're understaffed you know we're understaffed yeah i like that wording too the way you put it too of

like i can't make it is so good because of the double meaning yeah i can't make it yes so and so already didn't show up so and so already stopped showing up so you it's like someone oh it's like calling into sick maybe it's it's like calling in sick when someone already quit and you're like yeah we're understaffed you have to come in yeah okay that's i think that's really good yeah i think that's strong and it's like i think that the only thing with the suicide hotline thing is i would it's a it's a dealer's choice thing i personally the way i tell stories is i tell the story and then i go into the example and of love like you know i called a suicide hotline they hung up on me and then saying like that can happen as opposed to what you did which is a reveal

of they can hang up on you like they they did it to me, for example. Like it's just two different ways of telling the same story. No, that's really. But that's a dealer's choice. I mean, it's just sort of how you like to unfold a story, I guess. Right. But that's such a good note because it's, I mean, that's all we're doing when we go on the road or do sets or whatever is

you're just trying things a bunch of different ways and going oh i guess it worked the best this way even what we just talked about where you reworded exactly what i said and i'm like that's so much better isn't it great to talk to comedians it's so great it's so nice it's been great to just be understood i wish i could do anything else and be happy i really do it's really a shame do you have other ones i have more but yeah more i have more let's i mean i'll go as long as you want all right um okay i oh here's one okay so. So I just got, I got LASIK a couple of weeks ago. And when, before I went in, they, for the surgery, they have this whole appointment where they,

they like talk you through it and they tell you what's going to happen. And they show you a video and all this stuff. And I realized that I'm finally an adult because I don't want to know all the information anymore. Yeah. Or they were like, oh, we'll show you the video of us slicing the top layer of your eye off. And I was like, can you just explain this surgery to me like you would explain sex to a five-year-old. Like, I just, I want, I don't want you to lie. Get real broad. Get real broad strokes.

I don't want you to lie, but I want you to be really vague about it. You know what I mean? Like, give me the idea without the detail, okay? Yes. I'm like, look, I don't need to see the video I don't google my boyfriend's ex-girlfriends anymore and I don't want to watch your eyeball video like I'm oh my god I've learned my lesson less is more well the the first part where you say the thing about surgery you might want to be like I want you to explain this to me like you'd explain sex to a five-year-old.

And then I want you to rock me like a baby and say, everything's going to be okay. Right. Then I'm going to start crying like a five-year-old. And I need you to keep treating me like a five-year-old. Then I need you to stroke my hair. Right. And then I need you to stroke my hair right and then i need i don't know like i'm trying to think like all the specifics of what you could have it sort of play out the child version of it

right yeah yeah are we done here is the bowl lollipops is on the way out great like just how long can i get you to treat me like a young child? This is actually better. I want everyone to treat me this way. Oh, I have a good title for the episode now, which is quarter-life crisis meets mid-life crisis. Oh, there we go. Because, you know, I have a joke that I'm working on because my whole new show is called YMCA Pool,

and it's about having a mid-life crisis and hitting, you know know halfway through my life or whatever hopefully knock on wood you actually say that but it's actually not even necessarily true that's like best case scenario yeah um but but it's like i've reached this age where i'm like i guess i'm never gonna go to china for sure you know mean? Like, I'm not gonna climb the Alps. I'm never gonna ride a horse on a beach. I mean, I may never even kick a bucket. Like, when I die, someone will be like, he finally kicked the bucket. And someone else will be like, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. I don't think he did. I guess I'm not going to go to China for sure. Is so funny. That's so relatable. I've definitely had

those feelings as well. I mean, just even like, I think you keep having that. Like when I, when I quit college to do standupup I was like I might go back and at this point I'm now like oh I guess I'm never gonna have a degree like I thought I was going to for like 20 years and now I get that I'm not gonna have it I'm never gonna have a master's in psychology it's just not happening. We end on this segment called Working It Out for a Cause, and we take a nonprofit that you think is doing a good job, and then I contribute to them, and then we link in the show notes. Okay, great.

I mean, I'm just going to say LA Food Bank because shit is so bad in LA right now. Of course. And I will also plug, I got on Cameo last month or in December, and all the money I make on Cameo goes to LA Food Bank. So it was the only way I felt good about that. So if you want a video on Cameo from me, the money for that also goes to LA Food Bank. That's so generous of you. And I think that's great. And I think in my virtual shows,

I've been doing virtual shows and the final show of each run of shows goes to food banks all across the country. And so I have a similar mindset about it, which is like the effectiveness of those food banks is incredible. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Well, thanks for doing this, Taylor. This is so, so fun.

This is like, I'm so glad to hear that your plans are all stand-up focused because I love your stand-up. Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. I'm such a fan of yours, so this was very fun. Working it out, because of Working It Out. Taylor Tomlinson is a riot. If you want to see more of her, go on Netflix and watch her special Quarter Life Crisis. She's also the co-host

of a podcast that is really good called Self Helpless, which is a comedic take on self-help. You can follow her on Instagram or Twitter at Taylor Tomlinson. Our producers of Working It Out are myself,

along with Peter Salamone and Joseph Birbiglia. Consulting producer Seth Barish. Sound mix by Kate Balinski. Assistant editor Mabel Lewis. Thanks to my consigliere, Mike Berkowitz, as well as Marissa Hurwitz and Josh Upfall. Special thanks to Jack Antonoff for our beautiful music. And as always,

this is a very special thanks to my wife, the poet, J. Hope Stein. Our book, the new one, is at your local bookstore, Curbside. If you like the book, it's a real labor of love.

We spent a lot of time on it. If you enjoyed it, write a nice review in the nice review places, the Goodreads of the world, the Amazons of the world, or wherever else you write things. And if you like this podcast, write a nice star review of that, because that's how people who don't know about this podcast

might find out about this podcast. As always, a special thanks to my daughter, Una, who helped me create this radio fort. Thanks most of all to you who have listened. Tell your friends. Tell your enemies. I recently got an email about someone who sent the show to their enemy, and it started a dialogue about a very sensitive topic it's the john laster episode by the way l-a-s-t-e-r john laster it's such a great episode and we talk about race and we talk about a lot of sensitive things and someone sent me this really sweet note saying that they didn't get along with a person at work about specifically about Black Lives Matter and other things like that.

And he suggested to the other person that the person listen to the John Lasseter episode. And he said it wasn't a 180, but that it opened up a dialogue, a channel of discussion, and that that was a really positive outcome compared to where they were. So that's really cool to hear.

If you have a story like that, email it to me at workingitoutpod at gmail.com along with your slow round ideas for the pizza virtual I mentioned earlier. Thanks most of all to you who have listened once again. Tell your friends, tell your enemies. We're working it out see you next time everybody