Mike Birbiglia's Working It Out - 60. Rosebud Baker: Addicted to Comedy

Episode Date: November 29, 2021

Rosebud Baker can make anything funny. She has jokes about the tragic death of her sister, her own struggles with addiction, and why nurses seem to be a little too cocky. Mike and Rose kick around jokes about what to do when your Uber is filling up with water, how much urine is in a public pool, and why some of us marry our dads. All that, and a story about toasting a U.S. president when she was a kid. https://www.safehorizon.org/

We are back with a new episode of Working It Out. This is a really exciting one. You know, the tour, my tour of my new show, The Old Man in the Pool, that I've been developing on this show in real time, we're 60 episodes in, thanks for being a part of it, is now in person in your city, possibly. thanks for being a part of it, is now in person in your city, possibly. I'm going to be in Berkeley, California for pretty much the month of January,

like 20-something shows. Portland, Oregon, Seattle, Washington, Minneapolis, Indianapolis, Dallas. I'm really going all over the place. You can go to burbiggs.com and sign up for the mailing list. That way you get the pre-sale codes, you get the best seats, and they don't go to some broker who has nothing to do with

the show. We don't want these brokers involved with this darn thing. Today on the show, we have a great comedian. She's someone who I've met at clubs over the years, who I've always found to be so funny live. Her name is Rosebud Baker. She has written for Michael Che's series, That Damn Michael Che. She has appeared on Sam Jay's series on HBO called Pause. You might remember we had Sam Jay on the show last summer, who is hilarious, and I love that show.

And she has her own new special called Whiskey Fists on YouTube. It's free. It's free on YouTube. This is, I'm just going to play a clip right now. I went out with this guy who was, he was an abusive alcoholic, which is a very tough combo, right? Especially for him, because he was always like way too drunk to land a punch. Don't get me wrong. I was just like, I'm already enabling you. Like, do I have to fucking lean in?

What's? Get it together, whiskey fists. So that's a clip from Rosebud Baker's special, Whiskey Fists. So that's a clip from Rosebud Baker's special Whiskey Fists. A quick warning, Rosebud takes up dark topics. I'll say no more. She writes very dark jokes that I think are hilarious. They might not be what you're in the mood for today. So that's my quick word of warning.

But man, I love this conversation with Rosebud Baker. She has a great comedy mind, a very collaborative comedy brain. And so enjoy my conversation with the great Rosebud Baker. Rose, I use something you said as an example when I try to explain to people, a very hard thing to explain, which is why comedians like spending so much time with comedians. Our mutual friend, Keith Robinson, who's a great comic, he mentored Kevin Hart, he's sort of a legend, sort of like a comedy legend friend of ours. He's had two strokes in the last few years.

And it's tough. Yeah. It's tough. And then after his second stroke recently, I was with Keith and a bunch of other comics at the cellar one night. And everyone's sort of like, sort of making fun of each other in all directions. And then you walked in.

It's probably like 11 o'clock at night. And you go, Keith, you still pretending you had a stroke? you walked in, it was probably like 11 o'clock at night, and you go, Keith, you still pretending you had a stroke? And Keith started laughing so hard, and everyone started laughing so hard, and I was just like,

that's it. Like, that's why comedians like hanging out with comedians, because there's just no, there is no line. We talk about the line in stand-up comedy. With audiences, there's a line. With comedians and comedians just no, there is no line. We talk about the line in stand-up comedy. Yeah. With audiences, there's a line.

With comedians and comedians, no, there's no line. Yeah. No, not at all. I do remember saying, I've been saying that Keith faked his second stroke for a long time. Yeah. Your special Whiskey Fists is great. Thank you. One newspaper called it Whiskey Fits. Wait, what? Really? I googled it. It's not wrong. I was like, Rosebud Baker's special Whiskey Fits.

I was like, yeah, I mean, that could have been the title. Yeah, it could have worked. But it's like... It still works. Yeah, it still works. Still works. But it's like still works yeah still works still works but it's uh it's funny because in some ways that title is perfectly fitting for the special because you get probably about 15 minutes in and you realize that the title is in reference to uh possibly the darkest subject matter one could have. Right. Which is that an ex-boyfriend who was physically abusive to you, and you sort of, and is drunk, is a drunk,

and you sort of nickname him Whiskey Fist. Yeah. No, because he was always too drunk to land a punch. And that, I thought, I think that, here's the thing, like, when I started writing that joke, it was, I was doing like, I think I did like 16 roast battles in one year. And it was all just like, that was kind of how I got known in New York. Like, within the New York scene, I was just, I just did roast battle after roast battle after roast battle. And it was kind of like, for me, I learned how to write jokes

in that way, where you take the worst subject matter you can think of and you make it funny. or you can think of and you make it funny. And I loved doing that because I just had this wealth of stuff to work with in my own life. So I was like, if I just work this stuff into that, I'll have an hour. And it kind of just became the way that I know myself as funny, is like if something really shitty happens there's something funny about it yeah there's like a tension built into it I think the first joke I saw you do was about how your sister is a nurse and it's on the special too and you know

and and you can nobody appreciates nurses more than they do. They're heroes and they'll tell you. And then you said you called your sister and you said, what's louder at the hospital, the ventilators or the sound of you guys patting each other on the back for your TikTok moves? And I was just like, who is this person? person. And so I think that around that time, that's when you and I started talking. And I was just like, man, you're just one of the best joke writers. I think because you just go into the mouth of the lion. Thank you. Thanks so much. That means a lot to me. I think that the only reason I write jokes is because I started off feeling like I wasn't good at it and sort of overcompensating in that way. That's why I did so many of those, like, roast battles. I was like, this is, you have to write a joke.

Like, it has to, you have to go in with, like, 16 written jokes. And, you know, I think there's real value in that yeah um I think now that I put the special out and I'm like uh that it's filled with jokes and I and I love writing jokes but I think that there's something now that that's done where I'm kind of like relaxing a little bit on stage and seeing what happens when I go up with like subject matter that just that isn't necessarily like a finished written joke. When I was watching the special, I was thinking there were probably four or five topics in this special that you tell stories about that could be their own special.

You have an abusive ex. You have substance abuse issues that you've dealt with in the past. You have your sister passed away when she was young. I mean, it's just tragedy. Tons of tragic stuff that you make into really, really well-honed, crafted jokes. And I was thinking, like, are you going to take one of those and just make that a show and so that you can sort of break it open and go into detail and go into hard you know those challenging specifics that that no one wants to talk about really yeah I mean

you were the first person that made me, that even made me consider doing that. I've thought about it, but there's a part of me that is like, I don't know if I want to go back to any of that stuff. You know what I mean? Like, there's a part of me that I get off stage. Wait, you mean something I said or special? Something you said to me. We were at the cellar and you said, you know, you could take any of those things and you could make it one special. And I thought, it's a really interesting idea.

I don't know if I actually have the wherewithal to do that because my jokes are so dark. And I think that that was something that I really wanted to do before the pandemic. because my jokes are so dark. And I think that that was something that I really wanted to do before the pandemic. And now I'm like, I walk away and I'm like, did I, because there's sometimes when you bomb with like really dark stuff, you leave the room feeling like you took comedy from them. You know what I mean?

You leave the room feeling like you're just a walking funeral home. And I don't know what my next hour is going to be. Now I'm on stage, I'm talking about miscarriage a lot. I mean, there's just a lot. It's like I keep going back to like these things that are like not— The fun stuff. The real fun, funds you know the birthday party stuff um but I'm I really want to do stuff that's that's more that's light I there's like a part of me that really wants to do I don't know if I'm going to be able to and I'm really lost on I think what I'm saying is I'm really lost and I don't know what is happening and what's going to come next. You know, I've never been in this position. I've never finished a special and started over. And it's, I hate it.

I hate the feeling of like, I don't know what's happening next. There's an interesting thing about your special, which is for your closer, you tell the audience that they might not like it. Yeah. For your closer. Right. Yeah. Which, for your closer. Right, yeah. Which I felt, okay, here's the thing. We had two shows. Just to give context. Just to give some context. Your closer, your closer is,

you're really banking on that closing, so to speak, the deal on the special, and everyone's going to love it, and they're going to applaud, and they'll be on board, and you basically take your riskiest joke, which is, I'm not going to give away what the joke is, people have to watch it, but it's like really, really tough. And you're like, you might not like this, and then you just go ahead. Right. And I think that that was important

because no one in my special, no one coming to my special taping knew who I was. And that is, and there's a couple different reasons why I said it. And it was, first off, I could hear they were getting tired. I felt them getting tired. That's just the truth. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The second thing was they didn't 100% like me. Right. As evidenced by, you know, you interviewed audience members. You did, like, exit interviews. And you had a guy being like, I wish you had talked about some other things. Yeah.

Which is a phenomenal piece of tape you have. Yes. And I was like, this is kind of—I knew that the special was going to go on YouTube okay yeah and I thought to myself in the middle of the special I did I did ask audience members if they were having a good time they were very honest you know they the reactions I was getting were very honest they were real it was a real show in the sense that i had expectations for it and those were not met okay the audience had expectations and those were not met and so it was really a very it was a perfect if i if if my comedy's really honest

If my comedy is really honest, this special was a perfect representation of an honest exchange between a comic and an audience that didn't know who she was. And I thought, this is perfect because this is going on YouTube. Yeah. And YouTube needs an enemy. Yes. And the enemy can be the audience. And the enemy can be the audience. For the YouTubers. Yes. Yeah. And YouTube needs an enemy. Yes. And the enemy can be the audience. And the enemy can be the audience. For the YouTubers. Yes. Yeah. And I thought, well, that's fantastic because if you are, I hate to say this, but like if you're a female comic and you're doing well, there's people that will, they don't care that they see you doing well.

They actually don't want to see you doing well. Like, what they want is to see—is they need someone to, like, get behind. They need to be an army, right? And I thought, well, perfect. So I'll just keep everything in the special that is going to get people behind me. I want to correct one thing you just said, which is you said you hate to say this, but I think that you loved to say it. Trust me, I hate it.

I wish that it was something that I could say without adding a thing to it. Oh, no, of course. No, you're 100% right. It's like— There's an animus for female comics from some men that is extraordinary and terrible. I mean, there's like— Extraordinarily—let me rephrase. Extraordinarily terrible.

Yes. Unextraordinarily terrible is really more like— It's like they are everywhere. And I know I'm going to read the comments because I'm not a mentally healthy person. Sure. So I'm just – I know I'm going to look. And I just thought, all right, well, if they're going to be assholes, let me just give them someone to be mad at. And so I did because I know my jokes are good.

And I just thought, perfect. And I kept everything in the special that they were like, are you sure you want to? I mean, I had people asking me, are you sure you want to put that in? Yeah. And I was like, no, I'm absolutely positive I want to put that in. I want to ask a piece of advice because I read this. You were talking about getting sober 10 plus years ago, maybe 13 years ago. Did you get sober?

Yeah. And you said the piece of advice you would give to addicts is take a year off, get a day job that you think you're too good for. Humble yourself in a real way and focus on getting sober. Put all your energy into spiritual growth. Be willing to accept that everything you think you know about yourself is probably false. Stay away from big announcements and proclamations about changes you're making in your life and just make them. Get off social media and buy a diary. And I thought that that was a really wonderful piece of advice. And then I thought, okay, while I have Rose, I'm going to ask her, what advice do you have for a friend of an addict? Oh, God. Jesus. Because I've lost a lot of friends

over the years to addiction. Yeah. And a lot of comedians have substance issues. Right. And I always find, you know, my friends who've passed, I find myself never, I never stopped thinking about it. And I always think, what could I have done? Yeah. And do you feel like there's anything that can be done with friends who are addicts? I mean, that is so hard because I've been an addict and I've loved an addict while sober. And I would pick addict every time in terms of like levels of pain. I would pick being an addict over loving an addict any day because it's so hard. And so you are so powerless to like help them or make them see.

And you can try all kinds of different things. And you can tell yourself like that you're not, you can give them ultimatums and you can tell yourself that you mean it. But really you're just in the back of your mind, you're giving them the ultimatum because you hope that they'll choose you. And it's like this nightmare of, you know, addiction really does spread throughout like the friends and the family. And the way that we deny what's going on is the same as the way the addict does. Because we keep thinking, oh, they'll choose to get better. They'll choose to get better. And it's like,

it's not really a choice. It's like a miracle when they do. Yeah. So you don't have any advice? So you don't have any advice? I mean, the only advice I can give is like there's 12-step programs for people who love addicts. And I had to go into one. And you have to detach completely like with love for them. You have to really go, I love you, but I can't stick around for this. And if you ever need help and you really want it, like I'm here, but I have to disappear for a little while. Because you're not really talking to your friend. You're talking to a disease, like, it's like The Exorcist. You know what I mean?

Like, that movie used to scare the crap out of me as a kid. And I think it's because I knew, I mean, I was surrounded by addiction as a kid, and I didn't see this at the time, but that's really what addiction is. It's like something taking over your body and your mind and your ability to make decisions. And so it kind of is like the second that I see someone I love relapse, in my head, a part of me just goes, all right, goodbye for now. I can't really do anything about it. And people say that that's not loving, but I think it's the opposite. I think it's the most loving thing you can do is to let somebody make their own mistakes

and let them learn from them and not have to, you know, not be there to try to make them feel better about it because they shouldn't feel better about it, you know. We do this thing on the show called the slow round. And so one of the questions is, like, do you have a smell from childhood that you—it's, like, really good or really bad that you think about sometimes? Oh, this is something that I think about a lot, is the smell of my mom before she went to bed. Because she would have this, like, face cream. She smelled like

lubriderm and carmex which is like which is probably like um like a lip balm that gives you cancer but i mean it sounds like it right but um yeah lubridermmex, and just like face creams. Like my mother would go to bed every night looking like she was crowning. Like just fluid all over her face. You should write that down. Yeah, yeah. There's a joke. Yeah, yeah. That's a good one. Yeah. You grew up

in Virginia, right? I did. I grew up in Virginia. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have a, do you have a memory on a loop from childhood where you just, it's not even a story. It's just like a thing you think about sometimes. Okay. So I, I remember very, very little of my childhood, mostly because I'm dissociative. But there's an image of a lamp next to the couch in my parents' living room. And I remember just staring at that lamp by myself the way that you would stare at, like, the twins and the shining, you know? Yeah, okay. twins and the shining, you know, like that. There was this, like, there was something about it that was like spooky and shameful to me and I can't figure out what it was. And I think that couch is where I learned to masturbate. Right. So I think that when I go back in my mind,

I'm like, I think I was avoiding eye contact with the couch. Oh my God. Your romantic partner, the couch. Yes. I think I was. Your first love, the couch. Yes.

I think I was looking at the lamp. Like coyly. Coyly. Coily. How dare you? Like looking at the couch's friend. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. That's too good.

And then there's another thing too. But I think that, so my sister, I had a lot of little sisters. too but I think that so my sister I had a lot of little sisters and um and one of my sisters Mary Stewart she had this toy this Santa toy that would like laugh like ho ho ho ho it was like a a motion detecting Santa toy and it was just a head okay I don't know why but it was just a head that you would put on the table. And when I would leave her alone in a room with it and I would run out of the room, she would move, the Santa toy would start to laugh

and she would start screaming for her life, okay? And I would, am I going to regret telling this? Anyway, so as like a two-year-old or probably less than that, I would leave the room. And when I would rush back in after she would start screaming, she would reach for me and like, she really needed me. And this is psychotic. and this is psychotic. And I'm just like realizing it as it's coming out of my mouth, but I loved that she needed me like that. Oh, I like that.

No, it's psychotic. This is how you grow up to love addicts. You're one of the very few people I know who every story you tell, I'm like, yeah yeah that could be a bit I don't there's it's so messed up it's so messed up like I don't know if I could tell it because I'm like I feel like it's I'm so ashamed of it and I know that everything that you're ashamed of could be a

bit like there's always something there yeah it could be a bit there's nothing but I there's nothing out of the ordinary of that being a thing you did as a kid I don't think that I think that's relatable oh really I'm laughing because it's relatable I'm not laughing because I'm like, ha, ha, ha, Rose is Satan. I think it's satanic. I think it's actually satanic to do that. Well, Santa Claus is satanic. He's from pagan rituals, but you're not satanic. What's a time in your life when you were an inauthentic version of yourself? Like you cringe thinking like oh gosh oh god i really more cringe at the moments where i was myself um oh wow i cringe at the moments where i was my authentic self more than the ones that i what do you mean by that though that's a good

answer i never heard that answer i mean i mean, I find I've been pretty authentic my whole life. And in a way that is embarrassing, like, I was a kid and I, you know, I grew up with, like, a very powerful grandfather, like, politically. He was like, so we would go to the White House and we would go. I know this about you james baker is your grandfather yeah who's in the reagan administration the bush senior administration right yeah that's that's a real thing rose and i aren't joking yeah that's a that's a real thing real childhood right so we would go to the white house and um and this is when people this is when people generally just tune out of the story because they're just

like, oh, well, fuck you. You know what I mean? They're like, oh, how hard, so difficult. And obviously, I'm not saying that this was traumatic, right? I mean, I had a great childhood. I got to fucking look for Easter eggs at the White House. So I knew, even as a kid, that I had it good. I wasn't like, there wasn't any part of me that was like, nothing's fair. Like, I knew that my life— You knew you had White House privilege. Yeah, I knew that like, what they call white privilege is baby food compared to what I— Is baby food.

Compared to what I grew up with. But the—I remember going to these events, and I don't know what we were there for, but it was like a big dinner, and I was probably like seven or eight. And I decided I wanted to make a speech. And so I grabbed, you know, a fork and my glass. And I just started banging my fork and glass because that's what you do. I saw other people do it at other dinners. So I thought, how is this different?

You know, and I stood on my chair. I stood on my chair i stood on my chair and i oh my god i wanted to i think i was like congratulating him for something anyway so i stood on my chair your grandfather congratulating your no the president the president oh the president united states yes who was george bush senior yeah okay but i decided that the first line of my speech was going to address him as George. Oh, my God. And so I'm eight years old, and I'm standing on a chair, and I'm like, George, thanks for having me, George. having me, George. And everybody in that dinner, which there must have been at least 100 people,

they all started laughing. And I had no idea why. And I thought, I think it was like the first time in my life that I realized, like, I don't belong in the world that I am in. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not set up for, I don't have whatever it is that these people have that makes them aware of each other, you know? Yes. And it infuriated me that they were laughing and I didn't know why. Oh, yeah. You know?

So I look at it now and I'm like, it's not, you know, that's a moment where I'm like, it's so cringy to me that I was just being myself, but it didn't fit. It didn't fit in the world that I was in. Oh, God. So it's like moments like that where I go, oh, God, you know, moments where I'm able to actually cover up who I am. I really am proud of. Working It Out is sponsored in part by Lou Malnati's pizza, deep dish pizza from Chicago. sponsored in part by Lou Malnati's Pizza.

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so I tried it. They basically said, you know, we're the most comfortable underwear. And I was like, oh, really? And then I got it. And I agree. And so I'm like, okay, that's what I do now. They are available in sizes extra small through 4XL. MeUndies has a little something for everyone on your list. MeUndies has a great offer for you, for my Working It Out listeners. For any first-time purchasers, you get 15% off and free shipping right to your door. Your days of fighting for your life,

fighting for your life in a mall parking lot are over to get 15% off your first order. Free shipping and 100% satisfaction guarantee. Go to MeUndies.com slash for bigs. That's M-E-U-N-D-I-E-S dot com slash for bigs. This is a joke I've been kicking around, which is there are psychologists who say that we seek in a partner the quality in our parent that was most hard on us. And I don't think that's true. The reason I married my dad is that he loves me and he's hard on me because he loves me. I mean, my wife, my wife loves my dad. No, my dad loves me and my

wife loves me too. And the reason they're hard on me is I'm a bad boy. I mean, I think we all know I'm a bad boy. And the reason my wife ended up with me is that I ran out on her mom when she was three. Wait, no, it's because I see the best in her. No, the best of her. Oh my God, that's fucking great. I love that. I love that.

You're the first audience for it. I've never put it on stage. It's so great. I, first of all, I love that the only part that I was like because that feels like almost done but I think if you do if you I don't know I'm like if you keep going with the I married my dad thing yeah then it's just I'm like that's just one joke. If you took a little longer to realize that you were saying my dad. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah.

The time delay of realization that I'm messing up my own phrase. Yeah. Because if you're really playing that, like, I don't agree with this. Right. It's a Freudian slip in real time. Yeah. And then allow it to, like like go on for a little while. It's more of a slide than a slip.

You know what I mean? Totally. And it's funny because it's like, yeah, no, I like that. It's also like something that potentially just could pop up in different parts of my show. Right. You know, just the confusing one for the other. Like, if it works at the beginning, it could pop up in other places of just misunderstanding one word for another.

Yeah. Yeah. I think that's great. But do you have a thing? Your husband is a comic as well. And congrats, you're recently married. Thank you. Thank you.

Do you have anything where, jokes-wise, Husband is a comic as well. And congrats, you're recently married. Thank you. Thank you. Do you have anything where jokes wise with your husband where you sort of talk through the logic of a joke? You know, like, because you do have jokes about your husband. Yeah. I mean, there's proof. I mean, that's kind of my chosen way of going through jokes now is like just talking through them, not really looking for the funny and just seeing if something funny comes out of it you know yeah um I've been talking a lot with with him about because I'm writing about uh like we we had a miscarriage and both and he wrote a joke about it that is so funny it's infuriating and I it's so funny because he can i tell his joke is i mean he doesn't care if i do please but please yeah his joke was she gave him proper proper citation yeah

his name's andy haynes and he wrote a joke about uh how i gave him for christmas i gave him a card that said, congratulations, you're going to be a father. I'm pregnant. And then she lost the pregnancy. And then she never got me another Christmas present. And he's like, but, you know, it's sad because she never got me another Christmas present. Like, that's his joke. And it's you know, it's sad because she never got me another Christmas present. Like, that's his joke. And it's just like, it's just perfect. I'm like, that's a perfect joke.

Yeah. Mine is like a lot longer. I'm trying to work through all of it. Like, I'm trying to talk about how I never wanted kids in the first place. And then I got pregnant. And I lost the pregnancy. kids in the first place and then I got pregnant and I lost the pregnancy and now I want a baby because it's playing hard to get and oh my god oh my god and and I but it's true I'm like because there's this part of me that's like, I don't know if I really, when I think about having a kid, like, it never occurred to me to want a kid until I had, until I'd been pregnant and lost a pregnancy.

And then it felt like nature was, like, challenging me. You know what I mean? Yeah. And that's just sort of, look, everybody's got their strengths as a mother. And I think for me, it's just I I'm like I will fight my way like if if somebody tells me you can't do this yeah then I'm like I'm gonna do it you know yeah but my fear is that I'm gonna get to that I'm gonna have a baby and then be like, oh, shit, I just wanted to win. You know what I mean?

Right. Right. It's almost like you're like the Michael Jordan of, you know, moms. Like when— You're like, I took it personally. When I had a miscarriage, I took it personally. Yeah. Yeah.

I wanted—it wasn't—it's not like—I don't think I had a normal reaction to it. I think I was like—I sort of reacted to it like a bull with a red blanket, you know? Yes. yes like like i there's a part of me that uh that was just like you know like i'm gonna like i'm i'm rearing up to like and and then there's there's different parts of this so i hope that this isn't like upsetting anybody because I know it's like a... Oh, there's going to be all kinds of warnings on this episode. Okay, okay.

So... Your whole deal is one big warning. Oh, fuck. This is going to be behind all kinds of paywalls and it's going to be like in a safe somewhere. Okay. It's going to be so hard to access this episode. Well, then in that case, I'm just going to do the suicide joke.

Yeah, okay. There you go. We're going to do warnings up front on this one. Okay, great. So I talk about how I'm not suicidal, but I'm not fighting to live. And all of this came up when there was like a flood in New York a few weeks ago, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. A few months ago. Yeah. And I felt so dumb because I was putting a mask on in an Uber that was literally filling with water. Oh, my God, that's crazy.

And I just thought, what am I trying to save myself from at this point? Oh, my gosh. You know? Because I was like, if this Uber fills with water, I'm not getting out. Oh, my God. I'm just going to ride this thing into the next life and see what happens, you know? Yeah.

That's why I tipped 25%. Because I just wanted good karma for that next life yeah I just said here you know I don't know how long you're gonna be able to use it but I just wrote a custom tip um all my money. Yeah, custom tip. I just sent him, that's great actually, just sent him whatever was left. So there's another part of this which I think you could really help with where I say I would never actually commit suicide because I've never been able to nail a dramatic exit.

Oh, my God. Like, I'm trying to think of examples for this, but, like, I've never been able to, like, storm out on an ex without forgetting my purse. Oh, my God. That's so funny. Or, but I want other examples in there because what it leads to is me saying that I would, if I tried to jump out of a window, I'm scared my jacket would get caught. Oh, my God. They'd be like, oh, it's just a window washer who fell asleep, you know? Oh, my gosh. Yeah. And then.

And then I have, it's so funny. I wrote a thing similar probably six months ago, which is that if I attempted to commit suicide, I'm sure I would botch it. Like I'd jump, like I think, you know, we're on the subway platform sometimes and the subway is common. What would that be like? Yeah. Jumped in front. But I feel like I would botch it. Like I would be exactly in that area where you wouldn't get killed by the subway. And then I'd be, like, I'd be, like, fucked up, but I wouldn't be dead.

And then I'd be late for the meeting I was going to. And then my agent would be like, Mike, I can't. You got to be dead or alive. I can't sell you both ways. Like, I can't sell you, sell you with your whole body fucked up. You just, you walk into the you walk into the subway and then it

bumps you and you have to write a new show about how you fell asleep and walked into a subway. Oh, gosh. I like that bit, though. I like where you're going with that and oh yeah oh so you're saying you have the one example of you leaving your purse when you try to break up with your boyfriend and then the the other one that occurs to me is like something with your

like with your mom being like you're grounded or something and you right storming out of the house or something but then like you forgot your phone or something I don't know right like I keep I keep thinking about like it needs to I think it needs to be kind of absurd and I can't think of what would be the most absurd way to like come come back after storming out on someone. I mean, I can think of like real moments where I remember storming out on an ex once and then coming back because I was the one that lived there. Oh my God, that's so funny.

You know? I was the one who lived there. Like I had the lease. and so i just had to storm out i just did the gesture of storming out but then i wasn't gone yeah that's like a great mitch hedberg joke it's like it's hard to break up in a tent because you can't slam the flap. Yes. Yes. I was just watching his special. It's like, vroom, vroom, fuck you. Yeah. Does it like the zipper sound?

Yeah. It's like, I want something like that where it's really anticlimactic. I like that. The other thing, by the way, is like the interrelationship. I mean, I don't know what the connective tissue is, but between the miscarriage and the suicidal thoughts. Right. Thematically, I mean, there's a lot there. Yeah.

Well, it's always death. I'm always going back to death. Right. Me too. That's what my whole new show is about. My new show is called The Old Man in the Pool, and it's all about like hitting middle age and realizing like, oh, there's natural causes. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Like getting on the hill and going, oh, they're coming, you know? Right. And like, yeah. So that's what the whole show is about. My goal is to sort of like essentially like break open death as much as I can and make people laugh about it. I got to see that. I got to see.

I mean, I remember watching your set at the Cellar about the YMCA. Oh, yeah. That's in there. Oh, yeah. That's in there. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's in there. And I was like, this is so great. It's, actually, I have something on that, which I don't even know if I have a joke for it, but this is, I was doing, I've been doing research on the YMCA pool and public pools and stuff.

And this is like a weird fact that I discovered from a lot of people like DMing me on Instagram and stuff, which is that when you're at the public pool and you smell that really acute sort of chlorine smell, it's actually not just chlorine. It's a chemical reaction of chlorine and urine. And then when I read that, I was like, oh, I guess I'm never going to read again. Yeah. Because, you know what I mean? And then like, I dug, I did a deep dive on it. This is from NPR. Scientists calculated that in one 220,000 gallon commercial size swimming pool, pool. It contained, this is sickening. Oh my God. 20 gallons of urine. Can you imagine pouring 20 of those gas tank gallons full of pure urine into a pool and going, hop in kids. That's disgusting. It's literally too, it's almost too gross for the stage. And you're someone who talks

about like the death of your sister and like miscarriages on stage. And you're like, Mike, you've gone a bridge too far. Well, also it makes me think, oh my God, my sister drowned in urine. Oh my God, my sister drowned in urine. Oh my God, that is horrible. Oh, why couldn't she have drowned in dignity? My first thought was, and it was urine with bubbles because it was a jacuzzi. Rosie, how dare you? I'm sorry. How dare you bring...

No, no, no. That is so gross. This has taken a turn for the worse. This is really... We have merged the most horrific topics into one super joke that we can only perform together on stage with two microphones. On this podcast. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, my God. That is so disgusting. Holy. It's the chlorine pee death super joke. Right. You've heard that one, right? Yeah. I mean, who hasn't?

So what it is is Rosebud and Mike walk on stage. It's one joke. They walk on stage every once in a while. And Mike tells the first part about the pool. And then Rosie tells the second part about her dead sister. And then they get a standing ovation. They leave every time. Yeah.

And by standing ovation, we mean they're not clapping, but they are standing up and also leaving. Yeah, everyone leaves at the same time. It's the closer. Working It Out is sponsored in part by Bombas. Bombas Socks is a company I just love. I love these folks. I interviewed the owners of it last year, about a year ago on the podcast for the holiday episode,

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Bombas.com slash per bigs. Working It Out is also sponsored by Helix. Helix mattresses, as you know. Look, if you listen to the podcast, you're sold at this point on Helix mattresses, right? I mean, we're on board for Helix. I mean, if you think that you and I have the same taste in mattresses, then you will like a Helix mattress. I love it.

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Okay. But I took, so I have a puppy. Same with the YMCA pool, by the way. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It's, I have a puppy and I took her on a plane, a cross-country plane trip, right? I was LA to New York and I had her in her little carrier, like little mesh carrier. And on this trip, she refused to eat kibble. She wasn't eating kibble. So I was taking her out to restaurants and I was ordering her like chicken and rice at these restaurants. And then just putting it on a little plate and she was eating it. Something sensible.

Something sensible. And eating it next to me on the floor, right? Just like the most obnoxious kind of dog owner, you know, where I'm making an order for my dog. Anyway, so I'm worried because I was like, she didn't go to the bathroom before this flight. And I was like walking around the airport like, please go to the bathroom. Please, please, please. You cannot, because she farted in the Uber on the way. And I have to tell you, it was one of those moments where I could not blame it on the dog because the smell

was so powerful that the Uber driver would have been like, sure, your 10-pound dog just did that. So I was like panicking and I just thought, okay, come on, please. Like she was so good about going outside this whole trip. And I thought, all right, well, she'll be fine because it's been four days now. She hasn't had an accident. She'll be good. We get on the plane. She's fine. She's sleeping. She's in her crate. She's being perfect. Just a little angel. And then with two hours left in the flight, I smell something that I cannot, everyone smelled it at the same time. It hit me and all the other passengers at the same time. And the look that everyone gave me was, that's shit. That's not a fart.

And when I tell you, I didn't even think. That's a very specific look. That's a very specific look that one can give. That's shit. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a fart will crescendo and then die. But shit will just keep just pulsate through the air. Yes. So I grabbed.

Shit feels like it's in your nose. Yeah. As opposed to your nose is discerning something. at me like, we can taste that. And so I picked up her carrier and I just walked into the airplane bathroom with it, right? And I open it up and sure enough, this tiny demon has just diarrhea-ed all over her carrier. Oh my gosh. It's everywhere. I'm talking in the mesh. It's on her. It's in the, in that, like that sheepskin blanket that is there. So I start to just panic. I just start grabbing paper towels, cleaning it out, like with just that dribbling water that's coming out of the, that tiny little faucet.

I mean, I might as well be spitting in my hand trying to clean up. It's like throwing paper towels at a hurricane at this point. And, and I'm shoving, and I'm throwing all the paper towels into that toilet. Cause I'm like, well, this is the only way to really get rid of these paper towels. Yeah, yeah. Now, I did not know that you can clog an airplane toilet. I didn't know. Oh, gosh.

You can clog an airplane toilet with that NASA suction. Yeah. And so I'm trying to – so I'm just – there was like a, one of the sticks that keeps the crate like in box shape. I just pulled that out and just started shoving the paper towels down the toilet. I mean, it was like, it was like a scene in a movie. And, and while I'm doing this and I'm panicking and I'm sweating, I feel her little paws on my calf. And, and she, it was like, hey, I know you're really busy, but there's more. Okay.

And I look down and she has shit on the floor. Oh, God. She has shit all over the floor. Oh, my gosh. And I'm taking all of the stuff out of her crate, the blanket, the bowl, the leash. all of the stuff out of her crate, the blanket, the bowl, the leash. I'm just wrapping it in paper towels and shoving it in that tiny Kleenex-sized trash can that they have. Wow. And then I take her, and I'm cleaning her off. So I finally get everything up, right? And I have

these Purell wipes, so I'm just using those to get alcohol all over everything. And then this is where I really screwed myself because I love her. So I decided she's not going to be comfortable. So I took off my hoodie, which was $75. And I put my hoodie in her crate. And I thought that'll cover up any of the smell and like she'll be comfortable for the rest of the flight, right? Yeah. And I get out of the bathroom. Everyone's looking at me. And I realize I'm wearing a different outfit.

So now it just looks like I've shit myself. Oh my God, that's great great and brought my dog in the bathroom with me because I needed company or something like yeah that's essentially like like everyone and this was the same week that it was trending that white people don't wash their legs on Twitter. And so I was like, I'm like walking to my seat and just everyone's like this dirty white bitch. Just like, you know. Can I pitch a tag? Yes, please.

Pitch everything. I have one idea for tag, which is, so I'm trying to have a baby because I feel like I have the tools. Yes. Or at very least have the tools. Yes. Or at very least the paper towels. Yeah. The final thing we do on the show is this thing called Working Out for a Cause.

And you choose a nonprofit, and then I will donate to that nonprofit. We'll link them in the show notes. Is there anyone you think is doing a particularly good job right now? I am always inclined to look for like a domestic violence thing. I always like to try to put money towards women who are like seeking shelter from domestic violence and like seeking shelter from domestic violence and giving them the resources that they need. So there's a charity for women who are dealing with domestic violence and coming out of domestic violence situations called Safe Horizon in New York. That's great.

They're safehorizon.org and we'll link to them in the show notes. And thanks, Rose, for coming on the show. And everyone should watch your special. And they should see you out on tour because you're one of the funniest people I've encountered in this whole darn thing. And I really appreciate you coming on. Thank you so much.

That means a lot to me. I appreciate it. Working it out, because it's not done. Working it out, because there's no hope. Working it out, because there's no hope. That's going to do it for another episode of Working It Out with Rosebud Baker. You should watch that Whiskey Fist special on YouTube. It's Whiskey Fists, and you can follow Rosebud at at Rosebud Baker on Instagram. Our producers of Working Working Out are myself,

along with Peter Salamone and Joseph Birbiglia, consulting producer Seth Barish. Sound mix by Kate Balinski, with help from Steve Bone. Sound recording by Cynthia Daniels. Associate producer Mabel Lewis. Thanks to my consigliere, Mike Berkowitz, as well as Marissa Hurwitz and Josh F. Fall.

Special thanks, as always, to Jack Antonoff and Bleachers for their music. And, of course, my wife, the poet J. Hope Stein. Our book is called The New One, Painfully True Stories from a Reluctant Dad with Poems by J. Hope Stein. It is, I have to say, I mean, look, I co-wrote the book, but I recommend the book for the holiday season. It's a nice thing to pick up at your local bookstore. As always, a special thanks to my daughter, Una,

season. It's a nice thing to pick up at your local bookstore. As always, a special thanks to my daughter Una, who created a radio fort made of pillows to dull the sound in tough times. Thanks most of all to you who have listened. Tell your friends, tell your enemies. We're working it out. See you next time, everybody.