Mike Birbiglia's Working It Out - 71. Alex Edelman Returns: The 25 Word Pitch

Episode Date: May 2, 2022

Mike welcomes back Alex Edelman. Since his last appearance on the podcast, Alex has opened his solo show “Just For Us,” received rave reviews, appeared on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert and has been nominated for an outer critics circle award. He just announced a 3rd extension of his show at the Greenwich House Theater in New York City beginning June 13. The two friends discuss how two pitch your own work in 25 words as well as as horrible nicknames, accidentally reading other people’s texts, and how to finance a burrito. Plus, Mike is concerned his daughter might be turning into an insult comic or worse, a ventriloquist.Please consider donating to Tikvah Children's Home

Alex Edelman, Alex Edelman. Alex Edelman walked in here just months ago, a loser, a nobody. Today he has entered a returning champion, a star of New York stage and screen. He's been, he's on all the talk shows. Like what if that was my new persona? He walked in, a loser, a nothing, a nobody, a schmuck, a schlemiel, just the endless.

And today he's still that, but people like his show. Hey everybody, it's Mike Birbiglia. That is the voice of Alex Edelman. This is such a fun episode today because it's the return of Alex Edelman. He was on the show in the fall right before his solo show, Just For Us, was about to debut off Broadway. I'm presenting the show. I think it's fantastic. Since then, it's going into its second sold out run at the Soho Playhouse and then starting a new six week run at the Soho Playhouse, and then starting a new six-week run at the Greenwich House Theater, starting June 13th. Tickets at justforusshow.com. We have a great chat. I'm in Chicago this week, by the way. For four weeks, I'll be at the Steppenwolf Theater.

Last night, I did my first show. It's phenomenal. I mean, it's the best acoustics, the best lighting, the best theater team. I mean, if you're anywhere near Chicago, come check out this show. Then I'm going to Los Angeles for the Netflix Festival for one night. Then I'll be at the Mark Taper Forum in Los Angeles for the month of August, doing the show in its full glory with lights and sound and design. And I'm so excited. There's a few tickets left for my shows. I'm doing three in London at the Leicester Square Theatre. I'm doing one night in Paris. We'll see if anyone shows up to see me in Paris. Same goes for Iceland. Some of these I'm just going because I really want to go to these places

and see if anyone will show up and see me do my old man in the pool show. I'll also be at the Bay Street Theater in Sag Harbor, New York, this summer in the Hamptons for one week in July. All of that's on burbigs.com. Join the mailing list. What can I say about Alex Edelman? I think he's a fascinating storyteller hilarious person

he was recently on Colbert and Seth Meyers and he's just running the table of really doing it up in New York City he just got nominated for an Outer Circle Critics Award for his solo show just for us, enjoy my conversation with the great Alex Edelman.

It's very rare that on this show, I'm able to speak to someone who has had a meteoric rise, and I speak to them right before it and right in the middle of it. It's very rare. On this show or anything, really. I always joke with you about this, but I've said, you know, I have been saying it to you since we started working together that like the word Dayenu, which in Hebrew means it would have been enough. And like, it's part of Passover,

the holiday that we're currently in as we record this. And so there are a million different little things. We're like, well, if just I got to do a solo show in New York produced by Mike Birbiglia, it would have been enough. If just Steve Martin came and Jerry Seinfeld came, it would have been. Those things are. So these things are constantly little things.

But also, I still have to go to work. I still have a show to do every day. And also the show, to some extent, there is a little trade off. Like to every, there's a, you know,

there's a Faustian aspect to everything where like, I have to like, if the show was totally obscure, then I would, then like, I'd actually have a little bit more freedom to tinker with it creatively. But I'm still making those tinker. The point is, I still have to do the work.

But it is also my wildest dreams come true, and I can't believe it. And every day I wake up thinking, oh my god, how lucky am I that I get to do it. This is a funny thing about the Catch- of sort of Broadway off Broadway is like, you do have to like keep your body in like good condition to talk for 90 minutes a night to people. I have never, I'm just like, I, tomorrow I have my second visit with a speech pathologist and I had COVID and I had a check to make sure the problem after COVID was in my lungs instead of my throat and the

problem might in DB. So like, and I do vocal exercises right before I go on stage. I do them twice a day. And I would have laughed at like, you know, and I've stopped eating like dairy before the show. Like it's this kind of stuff that I would never have thought about. And like, it is really, you're right. Like someone's like, you're like an athlete.

I'm like, let's keep it in perspective. There's a thing that I've been working on for my show, Old Man in the Pool. And I find myself, which is essentially the 25 word pitch. It's always over 25 words. But there's a thing I read once, is that Steven Spielberg says that any great movie or show or whatever it is, you could do a 25-word pitch or else it's sort of not a movie. Yeah. So what I would say is what's your 25 words just for us?

And you can go over because nothing's 25 words. It's a – boy, weirdly no one's ever asked me this. I mean, it's an examination of my own Judaism when that Judaism is removed as far as possible from its natural habitat and placed in a different environment. And that different environment is a meeting of white nationalists.

That's pretty good. Yeah. So I went to a meeting of white nationalists in Long Island City, or Queens. and then eventually one of them was like, sorry, this guy's a Jew. And I'm like, yeah, I'm a Jew. And that's basically the – That's the short version.

Yeah, that's the short version of the show. But also, by the way, the 25-word pitch for so many – like the 25-word pitch for The Godfather is what? Like a man is given an offer he can't refuse. Right. Like there is a different. And also Steven Spielberg, by the way. I mean, some of those are three-word pitches.

Like, whoa, sharks. Yeah. I also like the idea of, like, trying to reduce everything. Like, castaway. A man takes a trip. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bad flight.

But let me counter and go, what's your pitch of my show? Maybe that's better than what I have. A Man Takes a Swim? No, no, no, no. Sharks? Yeah, sharks. Whoa, sharks. Whoa, sharks.

A Man Takes a Swim. But it is interesting because if you said to me, what is Mike's show about? what is Mike's show about? Mike's show is about the battle that we all go through, which is, especially as we get older, which is the battle with our own health. That's interesting.

Yeah, I never thought of it that way. So I find it helpful to do the 25-word pitch. A lot of creatives listen to the show, so I always sort of hang a lantern on anything that's a creative process. But it's like, I find it helpful to do the 25-word pitch at different stages of the process. Sure. Because like you're saying, like you were saying earlier, sometimes certain things is, I think it's veering too far away from the 25 word.

Yeah. Or in the back of your mind, I've had this four or five times over the course of this process. It's always extremely humiliating every time internally. internally, is where someone gives you a note, and in the back of your mind you go, that piece doesn't work because the piece never really belonged in the show. I just witnessed something. Sorry to interrupt.

You just stuttered out of the side of your mouth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You tried to do a side of your mouth talk, and then you stuttered while doing it, which I've almost never witnessed. Yeah, yeah. It's a real – when I talk out the side of my mouth, I have a real speech impediment. You know what's weird?

I can only talk out of the side of my mouth out of this side of my mouth because I have a fake tooth on this side. So I can't go the other way. And once I was trying to do it in a social setting and my cousin Jason went, what's happening right now? All I'm saying is this has happened to me four or five times over the course of the process of doing this show and actually pretty much every other show, which is that you have a thing that gets big laughs or that you really like or something. Yeah.

And you really want it in the show, but it never belonged to the main thing. Yeah. And you try to tie it together with some tenuous scaffolding, but it never really belonged in the show. So at some point it's slated for execution. And it keeps getting reprieves from the comedy Supreme Court in your head. But eventually it just gets noted by the right person or at the right time you come to grips with it, and it winds up getting cut.

And so having your 25 words, what the show is about can also be if you have the courage and I haven't, most of the time I haven't had the courage. But like if you have the courage to actually make the cut that you know is necessary, that's a, you know, your 25 words will help you be like, what's your show about? And then, you know, say your 25 words and then go, okay, great.

Does each piece of my show, is it relevant to the 25 words? And if you think it isn't, then cut your piece. And if you can't cut your piece, then maybe readjust your 25 words. This is a new slow round question. Can you think of a time where you were so scared you ran away physically? Oh, yes. From several dates. Oh my gosh, really?

Yeah, I would cut it short and be like, I'm sorry, I have to go. Or there was a girl. And then you jog. I would literally go, can I? I was on a date with this woman, and it felt like she thought she was maybe entitled to me. And I was like, I have this little suspicion. And also she was older, and I was like 21, and it just was like, I have this little suspicion. And also she was older and I was like 21

and it just was like, at some point I look over and I see her texting and I'm not a reader of other people's texts generally, but she went, hey, just about to fuck this twink. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm so sorry. Slow this down, slow this down. It's so gross to say.

Let's slow this down. Out loud. Take it easy, take it easy, take a deep breath. We're going to tell different stories today on the show. I am so sorry. We're not going to tell this down. It's so gross to say out loud. Let's slow this down. Take it easy. Take it easy. Take a deep breath. We're going to tell different stories today on the show. I am so sorry. I'm not going to tell this story. You've been begging me to tell this story on this show.

No, no, no, please. Since we started the podcast two years ago. No, no, please don't do this. Don't do this, Mike. Please don't do this. And I said, Alex, please don't tell this story. And you keep insisting again and again and again. I just don't get it.

I'm so sorry. It's so graphic. It's stuck with me. I'm just kidding. This is a great story. It's a great story. It's 13 years ago, and I never forget where we are. I remember the brightness on her screen.

I remember exactly how bright the screen was. Wait, you're telling me you saw that on her screen, and she didn't mean for you to see that? No. Holy cow. Yeah. Oh my god. I'm sorry. It's so graphic. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And I'm sorry to people listening

and watching if Peter... Unsubscribe for sure. I'm really sorry. Unsubscribe. You asked me a time I was so scared. And like in the comments on Apple podcasts, just write five stars and then write, I definitely give this show five stars with the exception of that one Alex Edelman story where he's called a twink and then he reads the text message by accident. Yes. It was, it was so graphic. And

I just thought I'm not doing this. But also, there have been moments like I have cordoned. And then you ran away. I literally said, I have to use the bathroom, and then I left. Oh my gosh, really? Where were you, cafe or something? I was at this restaurant in London called the Groucho Club. This is a new slow round question.

Really good nickname you've gotten in your life question really good nickname you've gotten in your life really bad nickname you've gotten your life oh my god yarmulke boy oh gosh really bad nickname yeah i really hate it boy it's amazing how like with nicknames it's like the simplest wins somehow yeah that's so simple because you wear it because you wore a yarmulke, and they're like, yarmulke boy. Which was shortened even more insultingly to YB. Oh, God. YB. Yeah, YB for yarmulke boy.

And the funny thing is, there's a guy, the guy who gave me that nickname, doesn't understand why he's not more in my life oh my god that's so funny he's like that he'll be like i love that he'll send me a text to me like why b why aren't you answering my phone calls and i'm like the answer is in the question like leave me alone by the way literally what you that's the joke yeah You've got to do that on stage. The answer's in the question. I think that's the punchline. I mean, the setup is the nickname.

The punchline is he's more my life. The tag is the answer's in the question. I think that's done. It really is. That's done. Okay, anyway, Yamaka Boy was my... And by the way, I want to open this up. Because this is the first time we've debuted the slow run question of nickname. And I want to point out that because this is the first time we've debuted the slow round question of nickname

and I want to point out that when we talk about this we're not endorsing the nicknames I'm not endorsing YM, YB Yamaka man I would love that upgrade are you kidding? I would have killed Yamaka man's almost a Jewish superhero

Yamaka boy is a shitty sidekick working it out we're talking it through don't be cruel to people don't be mean to people don't give mean nicknames don't by the way there's a good rule don't call people things they don't want to be called no absolutely not that's a good whenever people talk about the she her the you know the pronouns all this stuff just call people what they want to be called. It doesn't matter. Stop it. This is not something I've ever admitted before.

For my middle school yearbook, they went, what nicknames do you have? And I put down like 20 nicknames. Yeah. None of which I had, but all the ones that I thought were cool. And I can't remember any specific ones, but my dad looked at the page and he went, no one calls you any of these. And I was like, but it'd be great if they did. Yeah. What's your favorite joke joke? any specific ones but my dad looked at the page and he went no one calls you any of these and i was like but it'd be great if they did yeah what's your favorite joke joke oh oh my god this is new this low round i love joke jokes joke jokes that people don't know are jokes that don't belong to

neither alex nor i nor anyone in the world. No. They're public domain. Would you let me submit two? Please. They're both Jewish jokes. Okay. One is this guy dies and he goes to heaven. First of all, my favorite jokes are ones that can be expanded and you can put things in and make it like a little story.

Like the aristocrats. Like the aristocrats or like Norm Macdonald used to do with the moth joke. This guy died. And for expediency's sake, I'm not going to do it, but this guy dies and he goes to heaven and he meets God. And when I tell the story, when I tell the joke, he meets God and they're waiting in line for frozen yogurt. There's a hold of it at the front, but you know, like he meets God and he's like, oh God. God's like, hi Mark. And he's like, oh, I'm such a fan. Like, thanks for everything. And you know, peacocks are amazing and all this stuff. And God's like, it's nice to meet a fan.

And they're there and the dynamic has been acknowledged. So it's a little awkward actually. And then the guy says, God. And God's like, yeah, man. And he says, do you want to hear a joke? And God's like, oh, sure. I love jokes. And the guy tells God a Holocaust joke. And God goes, you know what? I have to tell you, I don't find that joke funny at all. And God goes, and the guy says, wow, I guess you needed to be there, huh? Oh, gosh. Isn't that...

Oh, my gosh. Isn't that like the best joke? It's a novel. I guess you needed to be there, huh? Yeah, that's good. But it's not funny at all. It was written by Eli Wiesel in 19. That's a good joke joke.

Can you tell the one, you told me one recently that I really like. The one for kids. Oh, I love, so a joke for children, you go, what's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? And then the kid will say, R. And you go, you'd think it'd be R, but tis the C that he loves. Oh my God. Isn't that a great, great joke?

It's a perfect joke. Any joke that works for a kid. Joke jokes are good. People groan at joke jokes and I submit to you groaners that you're not enjoying your life. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That joke is funny. I'm sorry. It's a great joke. And the other one that I love is these two Jews are walking by a church and there's a sign outside that says- I prefer if you don't use the word Jews, but we'll look at that. These two kikes are walking by a church. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. These two Jews are walking by a church and there's a sign outside that says,

convert to Christianity, $400. And the guy's like, I'll convert to Christianity, $400. One of them says to the other, he's like, I'm gonna go in there, I'm gonna do it. And his friend's like, you're not gonna convert to Christianity. And he's like, I know, I'm gonna do it, but why not? And he goes in and he's in there for three hours,

five hours, six hours, and he comes out finally and he's wearing a new suit with a bolo tie, and he's eating a ham and cheese sandwich. And his friend goes, did you at least get the money? And the guy goes, huh, you people. Is that all you think about, money? That's funny.

It's really funny. I love that one. Sorry. I'm not going to go on record with laughing about a stereotype. No, it's not. It's about Jews being like so quick to shed their Judaism. It's about Jews who desperately don't want to be Jewish.

The desire to assimilate so quickly. How much more do you want to put on the cutting room floor? What? How much more of this do you want to put on the cutting room floor? Yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry. My question for you is, and I'm only comfortable asking you this since we're friends, it's like, what's the worst you've ever felt when someone, not online, said something anti-Semitic, but like

in person? I dated this girl. I tried to put it on the show, and if I'm being honest, it just didn't fit, and it wasn't fun. I dated this girl. She lived on the Upper East Side, and I moved there after college, and we dated, and she worked in a very fancy clothing store, Madison Avenue, folding clothes. And I met her at a bar, and I really liked her. And I thought that she was Jewish for some lazy reason, and she really was not.

And she was not just like not, she was waspy, and she had a name that was she was not just like not she was waspy and like she had some she had a name that was very distinctively not Jewish okay but for some reason we're at dinner with two other people or at a bar and I mentioned I was like well did you have you had Pesach growing up you had Passover and she went I'm not Jewish and she's like I don't know how many times I have to tell you this I'm'm not Jewish. And I said, okay. And then we're walking and it's, and we're outside on the street and it must've been around Christmas. Cause there was one, there was a whole street full of like Christmas lights on the Upper East Side, one of the blocks between like second and first Avenue. And she said,

you know, I'm not Jewish. And I said, yeah, I'm sorry. And she went, after a pause, she went, you know what, actually, I really hate that you're Jewish. Oh, gosh. And I said, what? And she went, it's your whole life. She went, it's your whole life. And all the things that you struggle with would be different if you weren't Jewish. Like that, I'm paraphrasing. But she was like, and then like, it was, I kept dating her.

I kept dating her for like, we went on a couple more dates. And like, eventually she did something that like was clearly like the end of the relationship. And I tried to actually put it in the show, but it wasn't, it didn't belong. And I didn't feel like reliving it every night. But that was not fun when someone was like, actually was like it bothers me that you're because it validated all of my fears about like being jewish meant that like there were certain things that were closed to me because i was like well i'm too not that anyone would be like you're jewish you can't be here but just that like there were certain social graces or attitudes or attitudes or personality traits that I wear on my sleeve that meant that certain people from a different, you know,

like part of society would, I would just never be able to learn or have, like I wouldn't have the decorum to be part of whatever. But, like, you know, that was the anti, that anti, like, that is, I would classify it. My therapist recently was like, that's anti-Semitism. And I was like, yeah, I mean, I guess. It's textbook anti-Semitism. But that really hurt my feelings. And that was really sad.

And also I liked her. Sorry, that's very long. What's strange about it is that ultimately what ended the relationship was when you saw her text that says, I'm about to fuck this twink. You'd think that anti-Semitism would make you leave, but then you stayed until that weird twink text. Yeah, I was reading her phone,

and she was just like, about to fuck this Yamaka twink. Yamaka boy twink? Yamaka boy twink. Oh, my God. Sorry, it's so earnest. It's so earnest. YBT. Oh, okay.

This I thought was so fun at the comedy cellar the other night. It was like a classic example of working it out in real life. You know, I try to explain this show to people who've never heard it before. And I go, we work out jokes, me and comedians, other comedians work out jokes, other creatives. And it's kind of hard to describe describe but it actually exists in real life so here's an example of a joke that I had and I told it to you and you tagged it yeah my friends I told the czar that version does my friend czar nagark and she tagged it and then I told that version to Ryan Hamilton who's a funny comic also all these people are very funny comics.

And he tagged it. And it's this. The other day, my daughter, Una, who's seven, goes, Dad, your teeth are yellow. And I go, well, I'm doing the best I can. And she pulled out a cat puppet. And the cat said, those are the yellowest teeth I've ever seen. And now I'm getting it from all sides. And I start thinking, I want my daughter

to be funny, but I don't want her to be an insult comic or a ventriloquist. And I start thinking, how long has she been thinking that? And then Ryan Hamilton goes, long enough to write a one-act play about it, but up until now she didn't have the puppet.

Yeah, yeah yeah yeah so your tag was ventriloquist which is great Zarna's tag was how long has she been thinking about this

and Ryan's tag was didn't have the puppet yeah one act play didn't have the puppet but it's a great example of like I truly truly truly

believe that comedy is this way and I think most art forms can be this way based on visual artists who I'm friends with and theater artists I'm friends with, film. Like I said, David Chase sort of takes notes and ideas from everyone on the set. It's like all of this stuff that we're doing, it's you and your friends.

Oh, yeah, of course. You know what I mean? And it's just a matter of whether or not you give credit to them. Oh, I always, I always try to give props because also like, I don't, you know, I want to constantly be like, this person helped with this, this person. Also, I didn't know the story that I was telling

was going to be a show until a bunch of people were like, that's comedy. Yes. Danny Jollis, Morgan Evans, Chloe Iveshin, a whole bunch of different people were like, that's a show, that's a show,, Morgan Evans, Chloe Yovshin, a whole bunch of different people were like, that's a show, that's a show, that's a show. But by the way, that joke,

I have a thought about that joke. Please, yeah, it's not done, it's not done. First of all, ventriloquism is so degraded as an art form that you could say, like she gets the yellowest

thing I've ever seen. You go, oh no, I'm raising a ventriloquist. Oh, that's true too. Like that would, it's a shot at ventriloquism, but like it's still a very... Then you'd lose the insult comic part,

which I like the insult comic part, because it's a one-two punch. Yeah, no, of course, of course. It builds to ventriloquism, I think, in its current state, which I like. I think a thousand percent. I'm just, like, I'm saying that insult comedian is less degraded than ventriloquism,

so if you said ventriloquism, you could get the pop of a punchline on ventriloquism and then go, or an insult comic, and then go off. But I think you're right. I think the way it is now is better. Yeah. I always try to go, if I think about that joke structurally, it goes, I want my daughter to be funny is the setup. Yes. I don't want her to be an insult comic is the punchline. And then, or a ventriloquist is the tag that actually is secretly the biggest punchline. Sure, but you're right. And also the-

Building to it. And then I was thinking, you have a second thing after that. Right. And then the how long she's been thinking it. That sort of, I would describe that as like a flourish or like a digression on it. But wasn't there a second insult as well? Oh, yeah. There was another insult, which was, oh my God. Sorry to be like- I just remembered this. it but wasn't there a second insult as well oh yeah there was another insult which was oh my god sorry to be like also isn't there another instance

no it was uh she goes dad you should wear a hat i can see the skin on your head on top of your head and then i wanted what i think would be funny is if you're like and then i really missed the cat puppet. Oh, that's nice. Because that really took the edge off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The news is, the insult is softer when it comes from a puppet. Oh, that's a great one.

I love that. Yeah. I just wonder if it, yeah. I'll see, I'll see how it goes. Of course. Like, people can't see this. It's an audio, but it's like, like, I always think of jokes in terms of like, it's like an arc. So it's like you're going up sort of the arc of it.

And then if you peak at a certain point, you're like, all right, I'm off to the, I'm on to the next topic. Yeah, yeah, of course. That sort of buys me the interest in the next topic. Like, I think it's almost like you're peaking their interest with how funny it can be. And then they're like, okay, well,

I'm up for the next one. Yeah. and then i feel like if you do the thing about skin on top of your head it might be 80 80 of what the joke before it was and if it is i just cut it sure and i i by the way i have a bad funny it's funny but i have a bad comedy habit sometimes where i will say the idea and then it leads to an act out. And the audience is like, no, we laughed at the idea. And the act out is illustrating the idea that we already know. Oh, my gosh. So, like, we don't have to – you don't have to, you know.

I had, like, a huge discovery about that in D.C. this weekend. I was doing an old man in the pool. And there's a piece of text where I talk about this old man in the locker room when I was a kid, and I call back to it later in the show. And there's this moment where just my sitting on the stool and the posture I have, the audience didn't need me to say, it's the old man from earlier.

And when I realized that, I was like, oh my God, great. Less words. And also with, you can invoke something of the physical reaction. It's a master class touch, and audiences love to be let in on a... Master class, and it's also just lucky. Sometimes you get lucky, and you go,

oh, okay. Can I proffer a joke? Please. Can I proffer a joke? Can I proffer? Would you submit to a joke? How dare you make this such an erudite podcast? Can I proffer a joke?

Let's see. I'm desperate to... I want to do this thing like there's a thing that you do about healthy food and yeah and unhealthy food and i had something that was such a similar area for years about salads about the expensiveness of salads oh yeah and about how like i'm my girlfriend's like you you need it. My girlfriend is always now like, what's the color of your pee? And I'm just like, what? And she's like, what's the color of your pee?

Your pee needs to be clear. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, well, the opacity. And also just, well, you know what sucks? I'll never be able to do any parenting material because you ate the whole cake on parenting. No, I didn't. Not even close. Not even close.

You ate some really – maybe I'll feel different, but also like watching my health now is a huge part of my life. And I'm like, well, Birbiglia is eating that cake too. But like I won't even try with this one. But I had to think about the cheapest way to get a salad now is to go into a McDonald's, buy 10 hamburgers off the dollar menu, throw away the buns, throw away the hamburgers, throw in all the lettuce and the tomato, mix it in with some honey dressing, and voila, $10 salad. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah.

Yeah, because you're basically working with a dollar menu. Yeah. Like the idea is like- You're maximizing the dollar menu. And Gary Goldman has a joke about avocados are so expensive. They sell them by the each. Sell them by the each. That's the problem when you love comedy so much that almost every topic in your life,

someone has a great joke about. So you always have to find like, even the thing that I was telling you the other day about like, I was in Chicago and my phone had died and I needed directions in the pouring rain but then I'm just this man in the pouring rain going up to people being like can you give me directions oh my god yeah and it's a little like the John Mulaney joke in the subway yeah but it really is like fuck do I have any jokes he's like now I'm chasing this woman. Yeah. Something like that.

Being like, I'm not going to rave you. I'm a little boy. I'm a little boy. Yeah, yeah. I'm a boy. Is the thing where it's so hard to. I always have that. Like, I had that the other day where someone said to me, like, I have a WebMD joke in my show.

And they go, and mine is totally true. I go, when I had all these conditions, I went on WebMD, which I don't recommend. I go, and if you do go on, don't read all of it because I think it's infinite. I think the more you scroll, the more they type. Yes, that's one of my favorite, and it's new. It's new in the show.

It's new, and someone pointed out, they're like, well, there's a lot of memes about WebMD. And so I was like, oh, okay. And then I look up what the memes are. And I'm like, that's a different joke. I mean, their joke is basically like whatever you type in WebMD, it means you have brain cancer. Yes. Or some cancer, whatever.

And what my joke is, is that essentially no matter how much you scroll, they will type more. And I think they're different jokes, but I'll let people decide in the comments section. Okay, here's a joke that I'm actually offering. Now, when you buy a meal on Uber Eats, there is an option to pay off the meal in installments. There's a little separate like a little like separate app that it will and i'm like if i am in a place in my life where i am where someone could foreclose

on the burrito that i had it's funny a couple of weeks ago yeah yeah like if i can't pay cash yeah for my meal it's irresponsible to let me not pay cash. Yeah. But am I punching down there too? Well, it's a close call. I mean, I immediately had tags too, which is like, if I have to do an arm loan for a grilled cheese,

maybe this isn't the right plan. But I can't eat. Is arm loan a thing? I think it is. I'm still paying off brunch from Tuesday, 2020 or something like from like Tuesday, December 25th, 2020. I did cross my mind that the economics of your joke are, they cross my mind for sure.

And you know what's funny is like, I always think about with jokes it's not like i i'm not offended by that joke but i always think about like how many people relate to the joke yeah like not that you ask to be 100 but like what's the what's the human part of the joke that people relate to i have this joke about millennials buying houses and it's had a reach beyond huge it's more people know me for that joke than anything else yeah I have this joke about millennials buying houses and it's had a reach beyond. It's more people know me for that joke than anything else. Yeah. You have this quietly. Can you say the joke? It's about this. The joke is about how I, the full joke is I went to check an ATM and I

had a couple thousand dollars and I thought to myself, I should buy a house. That's a little, I know about being an adult. I should buy a house. And I said, how is any millennial? And that joke, that part's always cut off in the TikTok or Comedy Central version. But the minute that does well on these social media sites is like, how is any millennial ever going to buy a home? How is any young person ever going to own a home? It's made me hate old people. I see a few of you in here tonight. I hate you because every old person in a city like New York or LA or London or Chicago or Boston is the same because everyone's like, my house is worth $3 million, but when

I bought it in 1981, I paid 11 raspberries for it. By the way, I love that joke. I was furious that Comedy Central put that on their TikTok for the millions and millions of people. They didn't tag you, and so what I'm going to do to make it right is I'm going to put it. They didn't tag you. And so what I'm going to do to make it right is I'm going to put on my TikTok and tag you.

Please. But it's done well for a variety of these stand-up. There's something that's reposted. It's got like 10 million views on Instagram right now. It's massive. And it keeps going. But it's different. It's actually coming from a different perspective.

Completely. It's economically the opposite, which is like, it's just like, you're talking about something that like essentially no one can afford of that age. Yes. No one can afford to buy an apartment or a house.

Yeah. Or maybe the angle is that's how bad things are economically. Yeah, yeah. Where they're just like, we just have to make sure people aren't taking advantage of predatory burrito lending. Right, right. That's the more responsible version of the joke. Can I do another Oona joke? Oh, please, of course.

I'm trying to get these Oona jokes in. I'm trying to lace some of these jokes about una during the show because i think they're funny like we were at christmas with at my family's house and una's cousins come up and and i go una tell your cousins about how you go to school and una goes i take mama and dada to school and then i go to work and it was her first like tangible joke and I killed and then I go some jokes are for you the audience some are for Una and some are by Una which is a callback to something earlier in the show where I go some jokes are for you and some jokes are for Una you are always very good though about giving credit to other people in your life for the

almost insane amount of footnoting in Mike Birbiglia shows. I have a lot. Joe Birbiglia said this. Yeah, yeah. You know. But I also think it makes your fans really warm to your, like, you know, they're like, we know his family.

And also, like, you get the implicit credit from just being the person standing there on stage where the audience is like, I think he's involved. Yeah. Yeah. Also, there is an inherent smugness to mid-2000s comedy where it was like, and then I said the perfect thing that you would never say. Oh, right.

And I think audiences are a little like, my first solo show was a lot of me being correct in interactions. I had a couple of those early on, yeah. And so I had a joke that a couple of, that it was a line in real life I actually said, and it was getting a pretty good response, and then I gave it the line to somebody else, and it got an even better response

because there's a little smugness to like, I said this thing that was clever in the moment. Sure. And so I gave it to someone else to say that was clever. Yeah. And then the audience was like, yeah, he was recounting the thing instead of being like the smarmy, you know. What was the line?

I was at a book signing at McNally Jackson and this person was, and I said, on the shelf, you know how like books are like da-da-da-da and then there's one book facing out to highlight the book. One of the books facing out was Mein Kampf. And I say, and I preface the joke by going, one of my least favorite things is when people find a little joke and they treat it as really bad, as really naughty. And the person signing the book went, I should sign that copy of Mein Kampf.

And everyone's like, hysterical. And everyone's treating it like the most transgressive thing in the world. And even the bookstore lady's like, if you sign the book, I won't tell anyone. I'll just treat it as damage. It'll be hilarious. And like, everyone's dying over this bullshit joke. And someone pulls the book off the shelf, and she signs it, XO, love from the bunker, Adolf. And everyone's like dying. And I'm looking around for someone to hate this with. And I find him. And as soon as I see him, I realize we're part of the same family of people. And I preface the joke by going, if you've ever told a joke,

and everyone's like, we don't know where the line is, but it's back there. You and I are part of the same group of people walking the earth. I see the guy and I go, he's part of the group. And he goes, I should buy the copy of Mein Kampf. And everyone's like, why would you buy the copy of Mein Kampf, Todd? And he goes, because the pages of my copy are all like stuck together. And everyone's like, we don't know where the line is, but it's back there. And like, that gets, like, it's more relatable to to be like i love someone who tells a joke that's really horrific in the moment then being like and then i told this joke that was really horrific in the moment in real life did you tell it in real life i said you said that i actually said that's

a completely absurd thing to say i was so off put is it like a masturbating online conf joke that you told in real life at a bookstore? Because it was everyone was- Who are you? Everyone was- What is this? This interview is over. I was just, you know, it was just that everyone- This is truly inappropriate.

This guy fucking sucks. This guy's an asshole. Boy, if you've taken anything away from this, Mike Birbiglia has given a platform to a monster. Yeah, I've let you go too far. But you know, I will say that knowing you has made me say worse

things about myself that are unpleasant from my past and realize that it's okay. Like you said to me once, people aren't there to watch you dodge the emotional honesty. Remember you said that to me? Oh, yeah, yeah. I always think about that with my own shows.

But yeah, I was relaying it to you too. But so like, by the way, there are good parts about me. But if I was up there and I was like, then I did this thing that was nice. You'd be like, a lot of comedians lost an edge a little bit. Right, right. But I said that it was also one of the few instances where I said in the moment,

also my personality until I was 27 was, my currency is to say the thing. Right. Right. Not a great personality type, but. So my, my hack for that, by the way, and people will notice this if they watch my shows is, is I say, I always say, I thought. Yes. Like it's a witty thing, but it's like, and then I thought this, as opposed to I said, because the I said is sort of like, did you? Yes. Did you say that? I used to say things.

Yeah, it's impressive. I used to really say things because I was also like, what will happen when I say the thing? Oh man. By the way, Mike, here's my issue with I thought. Okay. Until I was 27, I never had a thought I didn't say. Oh, that's interesting.

I just said everything that came into my mind. There was no filter. I just said whatever I was thinking. That's worth mentioning on stage. In the moment. Okay, so I have a thing in my show about how I hired a guy to write, a lawyer to write my will. We'll call him Will.

And I wanted to add this potentially to it, which is, it's just true story. I don't have much of a punchline for it. This is maybe my favorite joke in the show, by the way. But I go, well, the longer version, which I won't say today, but I go, at the end of our meeting, me and Jen have a meeting with him,

and he goes, it's totally true, it's like I don't have to joke. He says, if I die, the contract of your will gets executed by my company. And I thought, well, that never occurred to me that the man writing my will is probably going to die before we die. What's the point of everything? What's the point of anything? I thought I was, I thought he was going to live forever. Who writes Will's will? Who writes Will's will when Will doesn't have the will to continue? It's like a John Lennon haiku.

I've lost the will. The executors. It's so goofy. It's really funny. It's goofy. It doesn't have hard laughs yet, though. I think it's an interesting pondering thing, because I really did have this thing. I mean, this guy's going like, and then when I

die, the company is just like, what the? Do you think you're exploring? I somehow thought this guy was immortal. Because he writes wills. Yeah, of course. The Grim Reaper doesn't, the Grim Reaper doesn't like, ugh, I've got to clock out. He's part of the infrastructure of life and death.

He can't be subject. It's exactly. A woman at the and death. He can't be subject. Yeah, he's part of the infrastructure of death. Exactly. The woman at the DMV can't ever wait on line. She's the line lady. Right. So for the guy with the wills to actually be subject to the laws of life and death, that doesn't make sense.

Yeah. If you work at the Cronuts store, you should never wonder what Cronuts taste like. You have to... Oh, man. And then I have this, which is I get the phone call from my doctor about diabetes in the show I talk about. And I go, I don't know if this is funny, but I go, I look at my phone.

I see it's the doctor. I picked it up on the first ring. Doctors are a one ring for me. I go, dentists? Voicemail. That's a great joke. I'm less likely to pick up a call from my dentist than I am to answer the phone when the phone literally says the word spam.

Also, what are you going to say? Still flossing. That's funny. It's like spam. Yeah. And then I, this is, yeah, that's all I got. That's funny. It's like spam. Yeah. And then I, this is, yeah, that's all I got. That's all I got today. Those are all my jokes. Let me do one more. My girlfriend and I now send photos of houses we would like to one day live in. Oh, that's nice. That are, but they're Zillow listings that we could never afford.

She'll be like, look at this house, it's perfect. And I'm like, it's $10 million. And she was like, but it would be nice one day. And that's the way that young boys probably send photos of models to each other, be like, one day. Oh, I like that. One day I'll marry her.

One day I'll, but maybe it's, when I was a kid, I remember that. One day I'll marry her. And like one day I'll like, but like it's maybe it's like when I was a kid, I remember looking at a photo of like, you know, a specific actress and be like, one day I'll marry her. And now it's like one day I'll marry her and live in here. That's funny. I think like, I think maybe this is maybe like just a totally different take, but it's like, it's like my girlfriend and I, we don't send,

I don't send my, maybe it's like, maybe a version of it is like, I don't send my girlfriend dick pics, but I send her Zillow listings where the floor plan is phallic. That's funny. It's really funny.

Maybe, I don't know. That's really, that's good. I'll try to end on like one thing that I think might make both of us laugh. Sure. My wife is very wise, very wise person. But it means that when she's not wise, it's hard to navigate

because she just assumes it's all wise, right? And so the other day, she was having like a really bad day. She jammed her finger in the door and we were at urgent care and we're dealing with mildew in our apartment. And just when things couldn't get any worse, a dog pooped in front of the front door of our apartment building. And here's the part I couldn't navigate. She said, someone must have done that on purpose. And I was silent for a little while. And then I said, I don't think that's likely. And then she said, it feels that way.

And I closed my eyes and I thought, I hope this conversation ends soon. Oh my God. Oh my God, you're right. I thought is better than I said. You're right. Yeah, because I didn't say it. Because when you think it, there are no consequences.

But that's, I'm trying to capture a thing about being with a partner. Like literally Jen is so wise and so right so much of the time that when her percentage is like, when you get in that 3% of wrong or 3% of incorrect, it's like, there's nothing I can say. You're, you're, you're sinking threes all day. And then, and then it's an air ball and I'm supposed to pretend it's a three. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, also the air balls are so rare that you're like, Oh my God, thank God an air ball.

Once in a while, it'd be nice to remember. It's like occasionally my girlfriend messes up and she'll be like, I'm so sorry. And I'll say, no problem. But in the back of my mind, I'm like, thank God occasionally you do this. Yeah. Thank God, like she'll forget.

She forgot that the month of October existed, my girlfriend. Oh my God. She was like, oh my God, we start, she's like, oh my God, it's only two months before we start shooting. And I was like, it's because she's on a television show and she was like, oh my God, it's August. We only have

like two months before we start. She's like, September and then November, we're right into shooting. And I was like, she went, what? And I went, October. And she went, one, oh, yeah. And I went, you forgot about October? Also, she showed up 30, and she does it occasionally.

She'll forget October exists. So we went to something, and we knock on the door, and this couple opens the door, and they're like, what are you doing here? And she's like, we have dinner. And they were like, exactly a month from now. It's October 19th, not September 19th. And it's September 19th right now, and you're here.

And I was enjoying it so much, because I get to mess up 10 times now, because occasionally she'll remind me of something about like, remember when you thought there were 11 months in the year? The difference between you and me is that you said it and I thought, I hope this conversation ends soon. We wrap up, I donate to a nonprofit that you really like and think is doing a good job. There's this incredible Jewish orphanage

called Tikva in Odessa. And they have been, you know, they've been around for a pretty long time and they've donated and they've been getting orphans, not just Jewish orphans, they've been getting orphans out of Odessa in the Southern Ukraine for a while. And their work is,

the work seems really important to me. And different people have been very nice about sending me the receipts that they've been doing in terms of donating to Tikva. And so I would love to be consistent for once in my life. And I'd love to donate whatever to Tikvah Odessa. Awesome. Well, we will link to them in the show notes.

I will donate, and I will encourage the folks listening to donate. And thanks for coming on, returning champion. Thank you so much for having me. So you're going to be at Greenwich House Theater this summer, starting in June. People can see it for six weeks, and tickets are going super-duper fast. They are, thank God.

Which is so exciting. And if you think, if you're not sure about whether you should go, just ask Steve Martin or Jerry Seinfeld or Andrew Martin or Sarah Jessica Parker. I could list them all day. It's been wonderful, and it's been presented by Mike Brabiglia from the podcast Working It Out. So please do come and please say hi if you do. Because one of my favorite things is people coming up to me going, oh, I heard you on the podcast.

It happened after the first time like more than a dozen times. People would come afterwards and go, oh, my God, I heard you on the podcast. And I had some great conversations with people who were listeners. So thank you so much. We gotta get you the, we just got a Working It Out podcast t-shirt that just came in.

What? I gotta get you one. I want one, I'm serious. Yeah. Working it out, cause it's not done. Working it out, cause it's not done Working it out, cause there's no... That's going to do it for another episode of Working It Out. That's Alex Edelman.

You can follow Alex on Twitter or Instagram, at Alex Edelman. Our producers of Working It Out are myself, along with Peter Salamone and Joseph Birbiglia, consulting producer Seth Barish, sound mix by Kate Balinski, as well as Ben Cruz, associate producer Mabel Lewis, special thanks to my consigliere Mike Berkowitz,

as well as Marissa Hurwitz and Josh Hopfall, special thanks to Jack Antonoff and Bleachers for their music. They are on a major tour right now that includes Europe. They're going to be in London the same week I'm in London, so I'm going to be at that show. As always, a very special thanks to my wife, the poet Jay Hopestein. Our book, The New One, is in your local bookstore. We were just named finalists for the Thurber Prize for American Humor in Columbus, Ohio. It was such an honor. James McBride won the honor. It was such a cool, cool event. Alexandra Petri was there,

who was the other finalist. It was just such an epic experience. As always, a special thanks to my daughter, Una, who created a radio fort made of pillows. Another thanks to Gary Simons, who helped us film the show, which is going to be in clips on YouTube and Instagram, so follow us on there. Thanks most of all to you who are listening to our show. That is a great labor of love.

Please tell your friends. Mention it to your enemies in passing. See how it goes. If they're receptive, bring it up the next time. We're working it out. We'll see you next time.