Mike Birbiglia's Working It Out - Q&A: Mike Answers Voicemails About Comedy Advice and Crying Babies at Shows

Episode Date: March 10, 2025

For this all-new Working It Out Q&A, Mike fields listener questions about people fainting at his shows, how to write comedy about topics that are painful to you, and balancing a day job and creative life when starting out. If your question didn’t get answered on this week’s Q&A, stay tuned for another one soon where Mike answers the rest! Got a new question? Email [e-mail] with a VoiceMemo asking your question.

Hey everybody, it is Mike Birbiglia and we're back with an episode of Working It Out. We are trying a new thing today. We asked on my Instagram stories, if you don't follow me over there, it's at birbigs, and we asked for questions and audio questions we've done some Q&A's in the past and today we just decided to have people send the audio to workingitoutpod at gmail.com if you're anywhere near New York City this week it is the finale of my show the good life I've been working on for two years I've been on tour with it as Please Stop the Ride and the final version is called The Good Life. Six nights at the Beacon Theater, March 16,

18, 19, 20, 21, and 22. All right, let's go to the questions. This first one is from Meredith Greenstein. Hi, Mike. I'm a huge fan of yours and a frequent listener of Working It Out. I'm excited to come see you at the Beacon. My questions for you are if you could have any historical figure on Working It Out, who would it be, and what are your biggest pieces of advice for an aspiring comic? Okay.

I think maybe the person who I'm most fascinated with from the past is Charlie Chaplin. I think that when I, Jenny and Una and I still watch a lot of Charlie Chaplin. And there's this incredible thing on, I think Amazon Prime, where if you look up Charlie Chaplin, there's like a series of documentaries of how they made these movies.

And so there's like a lot of like cutting room floor footage of the Chaplin movies. And it's incredible. It's called Unknown Chaplin. And it's honestly, no offense to the filmmakers, it's a little bit lo-fi, but I actually kind of like lo-fi. I kind of like when things are like, it's kind of just the footage.

Like it's all this outtake footage of how he made these movies. And also, because I think the thing about Chaplin is that he was very emotional. Like the movies are very emotional and you really get a sense of like, yeah, he's wildly funny, but also like he's really trying to arrive

at something extraordinarily human and something that captures what it means to be alive and the challenges of being alive. So anyway, that would be the person who I would love to talk to. And then the advice for comedians starting out, I mean, I don't want to sound like a broken record with this, but I will say like, so much of it's stage time,

and a lot of people when they say that, and when I say stage time, I mean like hours and hours and hours of stage time. I chronicled this in my movie, Sleepwalk with Me, and I've said this before, it was like, these gigs I did early in my career, it's like I would go to college and they'd have me hosting lip sync contests

or performing in a cafeteria, and I'd be standing on top of a table in a cafeteria in the middle of Ohio or something. And those gigs were so formative for me, these bombing gigs where I'm just not doing well. Even now, sometimes I'll be offered gigs and I'll kind of know deep in my heart that it's not gonna go so great and I'll take it

because I do think there is something to performing for people who aren't necessarily going to enjoy what you're doing. I think that that's a good thing. And I just think stage time is, you know, just being on stage, essentially like so much that you no longer have any fear or trepidation about being on stage is actually when one can break on through. I was at the Comedy Cellar this weekend

and I was kind of working on material that I've basically been doing for two years. And there's a degree to which, because I'm coming up on the finale of The Good Life, where I'm like letting go, and I think the tennis analogy would be like, I'm swinging away. Like, I'm, you know, I think the tennis analogy would be like I'm swinging away. Like I'm just like, I'm just like, you know,

just kind of letting it pour out of me in a way. And I actually think the laughs were bigger and my connection with the audience was deeper. And so I'm really hoping that that comes through. Actually it was the case last weekend in my shows in Burlington, Vermont too. And actually my brother Joe, I sent him the audio from the show and he was like, whatever you were doing in that Burlington, Vermont too. And actually my brother Joe, I sent him the audio from the show and he was like,

whatever you were doing in that Burlington show, keep doing that. I was like relaxed as hell and I was like, I'm working on it. So anyway, that's my advice for starting out, is just get on stage as much as possible. And I know it's hard to do. I know it's super hard to get stage time,

but like I would say, take it wherever you can find it. All right, we're gonna go to the next question. This next one is from Gareth Leake. When you're working on one of your long-form comedy shows, like The New One or The Old Man in the Pool, do you start with jokes and work your way towards a story that you wanna tell, or does the story come first

and you write jokes that help you tell the story that you want to tell? Or does the story come first and you write jokes that help you tell the story? So Gareth, thanks for the question. You know, it's funny is I was looking at the script for the Old Man in the Pool the other day because it's a, we just announced it on the Colbert Show, but it's, Old Man in the Pool is going to be released by Samuel French as a play, a solo play that people can license to perform at colleges

and high schools and regional theater and that kind of thing. And yeah, when I go back to the origins of sort of how that show came to be and really all these last six shows, Sleepwalk with Me, My Girlfriend's Boyfriend, Thank God for Jokes, The New One, The Old Man in the Pool, and Now the Good Life, the old man in the pool, and now the good life. It does start with jokes,

because I think ultimately anything, I think anything in the standup space, but even like plays and screenplays, like it does start with a degree of obsession. And for me, my obsession is expressed through jokes. It's just kind of, I have just a comedy background. And look, that might not be the way you express your obsession.

Like, you know, obviously like if you're, you know, if you're a painter or a visual artist, maybe you do pencil sketches, or maybe you do charcoal, or whatever your, whatever the thing is that kind of is the, is your blurting out of the obsession that you have. For me it's jokes and then a lot of times what I'll do is I'll put jokes on stage, whether it's at the

Comedy Cellar or if it's at comedy clubs early in the process and I go to the DC Improv or I go to the Comedy Works in Denver and I just, essentially like I'll put a whole series of jokes together and and see what I always say that So much of comedy is a Venn diagram of like the circle of what I think is funny in the circle of what the audience Thinks is funny and that that middle area where those two circles coincide is is sort of where the magic is. And so I try to find that.

I try to find like, okay, well, here's what my obsession is. And then as you go along, I always find that like so much of, I think good storytelling comes down to examples. A lot of like what my shows attempt to do and this happens in the process a lot of times with my director, Seth Barish, is taking something that's a general idea

and then localizing that to a specific story. And having that story causally lead to the next story, and having that story lead to the next story and lead to the next story. And a lot of that is just kind of trial and error. But it's basically, I worked on Alex Edelman's show, I worked on Jacqueline Novak's show, and that was my overarching note for both of them.

Whenever we would talk, it's like, could that observation be a specific story? Because it kind of always can be. If you think about where your general observation on something came from. And honestly, like that's a lot of like what I'm doing with these shows is like I'm taking things that I'm obsessed with and I'm thinking about a lot

and I'm just going like, well, what is a single event that I could build that feeling or that joke premise around? Okay, let's do the next question. Hi Mike, big fan of the show and all your work. My name's Ben, I'm from New Zealand. My question is whether you can, or you think there is the ability to have a balance between living a creative life but still having a normal job

or whether you'll always be a bit sad or a bit distracted by not being able to do the thing and commit wholeheartedly to it. Big fan of the work, big fan of the podcast. We'd love to see you down this way. Sign up to the mailing list. Can't wait to see you announce a show at at least Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Thanks very much.

And at least Melbourne. Thanks, Ben. Ben in New Zealand. Oh man, Ben, I would love to come to New Zealand. That is definitely one of the places on earth that I want to visit. So I will come at some point. So the question is, can you have like a day job,

but then also have a creative life and not feel sad that you're not giving your all to the creative life? I think so. I mean, I think like the Liz Gilbert episode recently, I think is phenomenal. Like I think she does this really good job of explaining this idea that when you're writing, it's like you're, like if you're a writer,

like that you're writing really for the act of writing, that the act of writing is the gift unto itself. So if you have enough time in your day, and by enough time in your day, it could be one hour of your day. If you have an hour in your day to spend writing, I think that that can be the end in itself. At least in my experience,

I mean, like when I was starting out in comedy, like I was super broke and I was like, I was like tempting at, tempted W Magazine, which is wild. I've never talked about this. I've worked in W Magazine and everyone, I've just had flashes of this recently. It was, I was like, yeah, in my twenties,

everyone was so beautiful. Like I've never, it was like Devil Wears Prada over there. It was like, everyone was like gorgeous. I was like, what am I doing here? I think they wanted me gone. But yeah, but the point is, I would go back to my air mattress in Queens after my day at W Magazine and I would write and and I loved writing,

and I wrote jokes, and every now and then, I would get on, I would be able to get on stage and do open mics and put the jokes on stage, and there was extraordinary satisfaction in that. So I do think you can have that, and I think, and will you be sad? Maybe you will be sad, but also maybe you won't be. Okay, let's go to the next question.

Hey Mike, it's Adam Cantor. If you were appointed Comedy Tsar, what changes would you make either structural or systemic or institutional to the business of stand-up comedy or to the entertainment industry writ large. Thank you. This question's crazy. Adam Cantor, if I was comedy czar, for who?

For what country? Like which country would have a comedy czar? Because it would be very different around the world. If I were American Comedy Czar, let's say. I think often like people are surprised at what comedy I like. Like I generally like comedians where A, I'm laughing. That's a big thing for me.

And B, that I feel like the comedian is attempting to have some kind of personal connection with the audience. I think like what's special about stand-up comedy, and it was special about when I started in the late 90s, and it's still special now, and like arguably like more special, is that the whole entire art form is one person speaking to one or more people in an audience. And that's a beautiful thing.

And I think in the current moment where people are so polarized by like a thousand different things, like just the idea that there's one person speaking to a few people and that that person is like kind of leveling with those people and being like, this is my deal and this is the thing I'm insecure about and this is the thing I'm embarrassed about.

Like I would just encourage all comedians, myself included, I can always take this note myself, to just lean into that side of it. And like if you feel like you're going too far, go further, if you feel like you're going too far, go further. If you feel like you're being too personal, be more personal. That's just the kind of comedy that I really like.

And also be funny. Don't lose sight of the fact that really, the reason people show up to comedy is to laugh. You know, like I've gotten a bunch of emails recently, by the way, from people, thank you so much for people who send emails about the good life and people have written to me that they've, a handful of people have felt connected to the material

in relation to, you know, their own parents struggling, health and things like that. Cause that's some of the topics I talk about in the show. And it's very meaningful to me. And I really appreciate all of those notes. And I think that that's kind of what it's all about. But at the same time, I view my mandate as, I have to talk about stuff that is deeply personal to me.

And it's something that matters to me and can be really, really sad. And I have to figure out how to make it funny. That's what my job is. And if it's not funny, for me it doesn't check that significant box. And I think that if it's just kind of a thing that's an easy laugh,

it doesn't quite check that box either. Like if it's something that you can easily make funny. But you know, I also don't think that there should be a comedy government, so there it is. Okay, next question. So I do have a question. I was at one of your shows recently and during a really poignant moment, there was the sound of a baby and I was thoroughly impressed with how you were able to react without taking

away from that tender moment. And I want to ask, has there ever been a crowd interruption, a baby cry or anything that you were not able to just let roll off what was happening and tie it into your narrative. I would love to hear that story. That did happen recently. It was a baby and man, they just kept that baby in there the whole time. And I basically, I hung a lantern on it. I kind of called it out that it was going on. And I think I said some kind of joke to the effect of like,

at the end of the show, the baby's gonna give a speech. So everyone should stick around and applaud afterwards. It's like some dumb thing. Anyway, yeah, years ago, that was the gone right version of it. You saw the Northampton version of it where I kind of kept my cool and made it fun. There was one years ago where I was in Madison, Wisconsin

and there was a baby, and I made a series of jokes about it, but it was really disruptive, because it's kind of like a human cell phone in a certain way. It's just a loud disruptive thing. And whenever you're dealing with an audience disruption like that,

you wanna be, you wanna be two things. You wanna be respectful of the person who brought the baby, but also simultaneously wanna be respectful of the audience that wanted to come to a show that wouldn't have sound interruptions. So you're, and you're also, and actually, there's a third thing is you wanna honor the show itself, which is to say you want it to be funny,

and you wanna continue to tell the story and have the story have momentum. So you're kind of like, you're trying to kind of satisfy like all different parties. And years ago, I did a show in Madison where I think it tipped a little too like mean-spirited on my part. Like I made so many jokes about the baby

that I think the person felt bad afterwards because it was actually kind of dramatic at the time. Like if the person like tweeted at me and they were so angry, and then someone wrote me an email. This is from Madison 2017. I was at that show and three times in that show, Mike had to acknowledge the loud baby crying

and everyone had paid, you know, $60 a ticket. So it's a hundred thousand dollars people had spent to be there. And the third time Mike acknowledged it, it was surreal. He brought up the house lights and the woman in the audience goes, we're making the show funny. And Mike replied, no, the show was funny,

but now I can't do the act I have created over the last two years. He didn't shame her so much as have a dialogue with her and others, he was gentle, as is his nature. And he opened with, perhaps we can talk this through and find a solution together. Yeah.

So anyway, this definitely comes up. I mean, I don't know if this is helpful at all, but I will say that if you're a performer, this does happen. And you do have to try to be respectful of all the parties, but one of the parties is the audience. Okay, let's go to the next question. Hi Mike, my name's Alex Brown. Just curious if during your Vatican visit,

anybody was able to explain to you why you never received your sunglasses? Thanks, what is that? So. Ha ha. That's a really good question. I think it's the first time I've been asked that. That's a reference to a bit from my special and I want to say 2008,

what I should have said was nothing, where I say when I went to Catholic school when I was a kid and they would do these fundraisers and I actually looking up this bit And they would do these fundraisers. And I'm actually looking up this bit because yeah, they would give it, they would do fundraisers, they would hand us, and we were like grade school kids. They would hand us like a cardboard suitcase

full of trinkets to sell door to door to strangers. And if we sold enough, they would give us a pair of aviator sunglasses, because that's what third graders need, sexy eyewear. So the Catholic Church was like my knickknacks pimp. And I would carry this suitcase that was the size of my body up to a stranger's house. And I'd be like, hello, I'm from St. Mary's school.

Perhaps you would like to buy a Daffy Duck pencil sharpener or a polar bear potholder. And the people would be like, we're eating dinner right now. And I'd be like, I'll be just a minute. And then I'd barge in and, uh, you know, and I would open up shop and be like, perhaps you'd like a desk set organizer or popcorn for a year. And they'd be like, please leave our home. And then I'd be just like stuffing the stuff back in and, uh, but it never fit in the way it had originally been placed into the suitcase.

And I'm kind of scissor holding the whole thing together and sidestepping out like, I'm so sorry, I'll be out of your home in just one minute. And that's why I'm so angry at the Catholic Church because I didn't get my sunglasses. I'm gonna go back to the Vatican this year and I'm gonna ask for my damn sunglasses and they're gonna be very confused.

And that's what that question's about. I haven't looked at that bit in so many years. Sure story though. This is bizarro Catholic school fundraiser when I was a kid, these weird suitcases of trinkets that we would sell there and there. I did not ask the Pope about that. There is a lot in the good life about that pope visit though.

That pope visit was, and I wish well to the pope, I know the pope is struggling, he's struggling with his health right now. And so I'm hoping, you know, sending my thoughts and hoping his health improves. Hi Mike, I have two questions. One, I saw your original show, Sleepwalk with Me, on Bleaker Street. And during the time you told the story of your horrific accident from sleepwalking, someone in the audience ran out into the lobby, and then we all heard a thump, as if they had fainted.

Oh no. Do you remember this? And has this happened more than once? My second question is, what was the turning point when you realized you were really successful? Was it a feeling you had inside? Or did it have to do with signing a certain deal

or meeting someone you looked up to that was now suddenly a peer? Do you feel successful now? That was from Jessica Stettman. Thanks Jessica. That one was very funny and then very deep Okay, the reason I'm laughing is not because there was a thump and then someone fell or whatever Fainted I'm not laughing at the expense of the person fell but I will say that like Like yes, like this kind of thing has happened to me a lot. Like things like this have happened so many times

that on a regular basis people come up to me and say stuff like this, which is like, do you remember the show where like someone was carried out? And I'm always like, I don't really remember that, but it just happens a lot. Like weirdly, like when you work in live theater, like there's just ton of, you know, people get hot in the theater, they pass out,

or there's a medical thing. I think last year, someone had a heart attack in the audience, you know, in Wisconsin at one of my shows, which is awful. I'm not laughing at it, but the person was okay, thank God. But yeah, that kind of stuff weirdly does happen a lot, especially with the run of a show. So that show was 2008, 2009,

Sleep Walk With Me in New York City. And so yes, yes and no, I remember, but I also don't remember. And then in relation to the question of when did you feel success? Like I think that that show, Sleepwalk with Me, was the closest thing to what one would describe as feeling a sense of success. Because long story short, when I started out in comedy,

I was doing like improv and standup. This was like when I was 19 years old, I was like doing improv and standup. And I was writing plays and writing movies. And like my whole thing was like, I was just like, I want to write movies or plays that kind of blend my sense of humor, but also or plays that kind of blend my sense of humor, but also my sense of kind of story and drama into one thing.

And that, and with Sleepwalk with me at Bleaker Street Theater, which is by the way, we made a new movie, it's not a comedy special, but the audio is available. Like if you ever want to listen to it, like on Spotify or Apple Music. And for whatever reason, like that version of the show, you know, was for me a big inflection point in my life

because it was like, that's what I wanted to do. I didn't want to just do comedy. I didn't just want to write plays or screenplays. I wanted to kind of merge it into a thing. And I've done it a lot since then. Like I did My Girlfriend's Boyfriend and Thank God for Jokes and a bunch of other ones now at the Good Life.

And so in that way, like I feel like, I feel successful in the sense that, that I can actually do this thing that is an expression of what, artistically I want to be in the world. Like I think so often, like what you want to do as an artist is you just want to, you want to make a thing that you would want to see.

Next. Hi, Mike. I'm currently writing comedy about my parents' divorce. And two things keep happening. First one is that the audience isn't completely on board because it's such a heavy topic. So I'm trying to figure out how to get them on board. And second of all,

when I talk about particular characters like my mom, the wording comes off quite resentful and angry, and I'm just wondering how you navigate talking about people in your stories when you find it hard to process the emotions you feel towards them. So that one was from Josh Spiro, and Josh, this is a great question. This might be my favorite of the questions. So the first part of it is,

how do you make something that's kind of dark into something that is funny if the audience isn't willing to come along for it? I think, I've dealt with that a lot over the years. A lot of the Old Man in the Pool is about death. Sleepwalk with me is about jumping through a second story window and nearly dying. I talk about cancer in that show, having bladder cancer.

I think a lot of times what it comes down to is if you can come up with one joke that works to get into a dark topic, and it's hard to do. I remember one of my first jokes that I ever wrote about a dark topic that worked, and it opened a portal into a whole kind of dark area where the audience felt permission to laugh was about having bladder cancer.

I had it when I was 20 years old, and I go, I had bladder cancer when I was 20. But it's funny, because I'm a hypochondriac, and I think the funniest thing that can happen to a hypochondriac, and I think the funniest thing that can happen to a hypochondriac is you get cancer, because it affirms every fear you've ever had. You're just like, see, I told you. Remember last week when I thought I had rickets?

I was probably right about that too. There's gonna be a lot of changes around here. That's actually my favorite part. There's gonna be a lot of changes around here. But that was like a portal into the audience kind of knew that I was okay laughing about my own cancer diagnosis. And they were laughing and I was smiling, and enjoying that they were laughing.

And I think that a lot of that stuff is like a dance, you know, it's like, it's a tonal dance. You even see this with like, even the movies last week at the Oscars, right? Like you watch like, a Nora and a Real Pain are good examples, I think, of movies where the filmmaker at a certain point is acknowledging that what they're talking about is dark.

Both of those movies are really dark topics, but there's a certain acknowledgement at a certain point by the filmmaker of like, no, no, no, we also see the humor of the humanity of these situations. And that in all things, there is darkness and there is humor. And I think that in different ways, those filmmakers kind of acknowledge that.

And I think that it allows you to laugh from that point on. So that would be my answer to that question, which is like figure out a joke that could work, that lets the audience know that you're good with it. We're all in the future, we're all experiencing this together and I think some acknowledgement of that can really go a long way.

And then the second question about like talking about people who you might have like resentment towards or anger towards in a way that doesn't feel, you know, so angry? It's a really good question because I don't know. I'm still trying to figure it out. And I'm definitely like, it's a balancing act. I don't think anyone quite ever figures out

how to nail that because it's so deep if you've had challenging life experiences and challenging dynamics in your family and friends. When David Sedaris was on, he was talking about that a bit, and he always, he says this thing that I think is really interesting, which is that he tries to make the other characters who aren't him

in his stories look good, like give them funny lines, give them good lines. And I think that that is like one tactic with storytelling is always think about, okay, what's a challenging thing about this person, but also like what's a lovely thing about this person, what's a funny thing about this person. Just as an exercise, like think about the best and worst part of that person who you're trying to characterize.

Let's go to the next question. As a performer, have you struggled with jealousy in terms of opportunities or attention? How do you combat that when it's so closely tied to the work you're doing? Have I dealt with jealousy? Have you seen a movie called Don't Think Twice? I made a movie years ago, and you might have seen it,

you might not. It came out in 2016 with Keegan-Michael Key and Gillian Jacobs and Chris Gethard and Tammy Seger and Kate Mccoochie. And it was called Don't Think Twice. It was about an improv group full of best friends and then one of the characters, Keegan-Michael Key, his character gets cast on a Siren Rant live type of show,

it was called Weekend Live in the movie, and everyone else doesn't. It's about sort of what happens in groups of friends when people start to realize that life isn't always fair and people don't always get the same thing. And I'm really proud of it. Like it definitely was a thing where, it's not autobiographical,

but it's autobiographical in terms of its themes. Like I definitely feel like I was attempting to understand jealous impulses that I had. And I have to say like that at a certain point, I was just like, this is pointless. Like jealousy is pointless because, you know, you go through, like going through the experience of like, as a writer with those six characters,

like I'm essentially trying to get inside the head and the psychology of each of the characters. And, you know, five of them are jealous of Keegan's character and in different ways and for different reasons. And ultimately at the end of that movie, you kind of come to this realization of like, everyone just has their own path and it kind of has nothing to do with you. Like what happens in someone else's career just has nothing to do with you.

Like what happens in someone else's career just has nothing to do with you. And then the other thing that I've witnessed, and I've been in comedy for, I don't know, 20, 27 years or something like that. Everything's so cyclical. So it's like you see people come up and then they're huge and then they're gone.

It's just like, I don't even know where they go. They're just not in show business anymore. And then people who are, you know, you're really struggling and working the door at a club or, you know, waiting tables for years and years, but they can't get their career off the ground. All of a sudden, like a few things go their way and they're tenacious. And then all of a sudden, like a few things go their way and they're tenacious.

And then all of a sudden they're huge. You know, like I've just witnessed so many permutations of this that it's just like, it's like, I don't know, it's like that, the old expression is like, it's not over till it's over. So it's like, even like feeling jealousy is kind of a, it's presumptuous of what the future holds. And more often than not, we'reptuous of what the future holds and more often than

not we're all wrong about what the future holds. Working it out, cause it's not done. Working it out, cause there's no one. That's it for this week. Thanks everybody for listening and if you want to get news about upcoming shows, sign up for the mailing list at Berbigs.com and if you want to send an audio question for the next time we're doing this, send it to workingitoutpod at gmail.com. Thanks for listening everybody.