Mike Ward Sous Écoute - #530 - Jean-Michel Elie et Jacob Ospian

Episode Date: May 26, 2025

Cet épisode est une présentation de Dose Juice. Obtenez 20 % de rabais avec mon code SOUSECOUTE20. http://go.dosejuice.com/sousecouteCet épisode est présenté par Econofitness https://econofitness.caPour cet épisode de Sous Écoute, Mike reçoit Jean-Michel Elie et Jacob Ospian pour parler de Tesla et de parentalité.---------Pour vous procurer la Ward Vodka - http://wardvodka.ca/Pour vous procurer des billets du spectacle Modeste - https://mikeward.ca/fr--------Patreon - http://Patreon.com/sousecouteTwitter - http://twitter.com/sousecouteFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/sousecoute/instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sousecouteTwitch - https://www.twitch.tv/sousecouteDiscord - https://discord.gg/6yE63Uk Cet épisode est une présentation de Dose Juice. Obtenez 20 % de rabais avec mon code SOUSECOUTE20. http://go.dosejuice.com/sousecouteCet épisode est présenté par Econofitness https://econofitness.ca ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

In this winter, I realized that my sport is to drink tea. I drank tea this year in a stick shape. I'm in a shape, but only when I have a winter coat. When I have a winter coat, it looks like I have a six pack, but when I take it off, you say, yeah, yeah, it only gets wet in winter. But with the spring, since I like to drink tea, I go to the beach and I play the sabre. Then I do cardio since I get run over by security. But it takes a better solution than that to train.

But I realized this winter, moving is important for the body and the head. So if you want to do real sport, real sport, train for real, not just by deflating your tempo, not just by calling the time. Econofitness is the perfect place for you. Econofitness is 75 gyms. Everywhere in Quebec, it's not expensive, it's not complicated and above all, there's nothing to call it. Go see Econo Fitness, you won't regret it. In addition, Quebecers, encourage.

In Quebec, there, in Stie, we don't have a scene since we're entering a recession. Econo Fitness is notofitness, it's not expensive so it's not expensive, it's Quebec, and that's it Thank you very much everyone, thank you Econofitness, good podcast and we all know, even if you ask him constantly, dad will never tell you what he wants for Father's Day do you know what your dad wants for Father's Day?

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It's a 2 for 1 cash box. So at least you open the cash box, you say to your chum, you will have nice balls, your father will have a nice beard go to manscaped.com and use the promo code Ward15 you will get 15% discount and free delivery live from the mess as they in Montreal, here is Mike Ward, under listening. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Good evening. Welcome Mike Ward, under listening. Thank you so much for being here. Yann Thériault is back from his trip to Mexico. For the YouTube world, it's been two weeks since you came back.

How was Mexico? I loved it. I loved it, but I was in a lot of trouble. I went on a lot of trouble. I had a little cultural shock. They take you to air-conditioned buses and you go out with your big Canadian bedding. It was all poor villages, but they brought us to have a party with them. There was a pinata and everything. So you were going to break things in front of the poor people and eat their candy? It was really poor villages. But it doesn't seem like a guided tour.

Guided tour is that you're going to see ruins, a museum. You were just going to piss the poor off! Yeah, that's right! We were getting off, and I was taking pictures, and I was like, renewed with the photography, but then I got there, I was fletching, and you're posing, you're like, look at this, it's like a freak show, you know?

I came back home, and I was like, I got a little depression for about 2-3 days, it was pretty weird. There aren't enough poor people to live with. Yeah, that's it. You're annoying. You're like, Nianne, what's up? I'm sad, why?

Too rich here. But otherwise, I cheated. It was fun. You were with a group of friends. Did you get a tourist or not? No, not at all. I brushed my teeth once with water. with a group of friends. Did you get caught by a tourist? No, not at all. I brushed my teeth once with water.

And let's say, I didn't shit more than usual, but when I had something to shit, it was soft, you know? It was soft? I don't remember the expression. Well, we have a 9, it's when you shit. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's it. Well, shit was, when you shit? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I shit a little softer than usual. Okay. It's good to know. Yeah, yeah. A lot of people were worried about you. You don't say that, you, during a 9? No, well, no. You shit? Well, yeah.

During a 9, you bastard! I have the impression that... What is Pond 1-9? I have the impression that it's a thing that... Either a young, young, young child will say or someone who has a retard. I think... I have to go to Pond 1-9! You know, it's very...

It's very... Yeah, that's it. I have the impression that they also do Love on the Spectrum in French. We're going to hear that sentence. Hey, I want to... before introducing the guests, this week has been a big week for my friends who are called Martin. I have a my friends, who are called Martin. I have a lot of friends who are called Martin. Martin Peridzolo launched his one-man show this week.

There were some death critics. I was so happy for him. If you haven't seen his show yet, go see it. Chris is good. MartinPeridzolo.com And my other friend Martin, Martin Matt, that it was his birthday, and I went to his birthday party, his blonde was making his surprise for his 50th birthday. And the reason, and there is no 50 years,

but there was 50 years during the pandemic, so he had canceled his surprise. So there, 6 years later, he was making the surprise of the 50 years old. And his blonde called me and said, Hey, we're going to do a little kind of roast. It would be fun if you said a word or two about Martin. So, I said, OK. Yeah, yeah. And then I got there and I thought it was going to be a little party,

like 10 or 20, but it was in a small, big room, and it was for Martin and his friend Vincent, who are both born on the same day. And then I was like, OK, that's fucking weird. I don't know, you know, Vincent, I met him once 20 years ago, and it's going to be weird. I'm coming. I asked myself who was going to speak. It was just the blonde in Martin, the blonde in Vincent, and me. I was like, it's going to be weird.

I have nothing to roast Vincent.'s just going to be absurd. I was like, no, I can't, I can't. I did it, I'm sorry. I'm so happy I didn't do it because when they were talking about their chum, it was full of love, it was beautiful, it was beautiful. Vincent was so beautiful, that's what it was beautiful, Vincent was so beautiful, we said, Martin was so beautiful, and it would have been just some things to move around.

I didn't really have anything to prepare, but Martin, there was, and I already said that here, but I think it's the biggest fur I've had in the last year. We were having dinner, me, Martin and Daniel Grenier, and I ordered something. And the waitress was like, OK, perfect, Martin, what do you want? And then Daniel hesitated, he looked at the menu and hesitated, and he took his time. And then Martin just says, do you know how to read? You! It's not as funny as that, but I laughed

at that. And the brain, I think for real, thought that Daniel didn't know how to read. So, it was just perfect. It was just perfect, but I would have told stories of just Martin who treats Daniel like a mental retard.

It wouldn't have worked. But I just want to say, both of you, Martin, I love you. Congratulations on your party, Martin Mat and congratulations on your critics, Pyrrids. And your show, you were there, right? And you liked that? Perfect. For those who don't hear Chantal, she said, Correct without more. But... No, no, it's not true.

Hey, we're going, we're going. But as I said... Hey, I just want to... Before introducing the guests, I just want to underline... It's been a year for Jason. We lost Jason. Yes, yes, yes.

Already, it's been a year. I wanted to underline his father and brother who went through a lot of challenges this year. It was a tough year for them. People don't know it here, but we can give Jason a round of applause. Jason died not long after his dog died and not long after, his dog died, and not long after, his mother died. That's crazy. So it was hard. It was weird, because in my show, at the say, you know, because I have a friend of mine in this story who died not long after.

And then, you know, it was weird. It's weird that he's not there. And I thought it was so beautiful. Michel put a picture on my social media and I thought it was beautiful. It struck me more this year because we saw each other at least once a year, but it's really been a year since we've seen each other. We didn't see each other often, Jason. I saw him often. Me? It's just you. I was the snob.

Every time he came to see me, he was like, Yann, don't call me. He comes to see me at the new Broadway, and he says, can we go to a poor village? I'd like that. I want to see... I want to see poor Acadians. Yann didn't drink the water from the new product, he was like,

I'm going to pound Cadbury eggs with this! But no, that's it, Jason is so sad, so sad, he was such a good guy. And it was nice what Michel had written, you know, he wrote, we also learned that it was just Jason who knew the words of the past. He wrote that it was just Jason who knew the words of the past. I often receive emails from people on YouTube saying that I need to upload this or else they will close their account. I'm like, OK, it looks like they're going to close my account. So, I'm going to introduce the guests. Are you ready?

Yes, alright. Did you talk to them on the microphone? I was about to drop it because... I like that you're sticking to it. You're coming back to this Mexico style. Is everything filmed well? Yes, everything is filmed well. Perfect, perfect. I am very, very, very, very, very happy to have these two guys.

Tonight is funny, it's funny, it's perfect. Ladies and gentlemen, here are Jean-Michel Lely and Jacob Ospian! How are you? How are you? Yes! Alright! It's funny because before the show, Yanouk, I think you made the comment to keep the microphone close to you. Yes, I have to keep the microphone like that because when I do stand-up, I usually do it like that. And when you were sitting down, you were already talking, you were like...

He's getting mad for real. For real, I'm getting mad at Yanouk. But it's true. Where does it come from, keeping your mic down? But it's... That's all? Where did you keep your microphone? I don't know. I think it's in my gestures. While I'm doing stand-up, I'm always explaining, I like to put sticks in my face. I have to do the longer gesture so people understand.

But I don't know, honestly. I think we're trying to focus on the words that will come out of our mouths. We forget to use the rest of our body because we're like, fuck, this sentence has to be coherent, otherwise no one will understand anything. So sometimes we're like... Yeah, and before, before I started doing stand-up, I always put the microphone on the bottom of my lips. And I heard that there are a lot of comedians who have the herpes. Oh yeah, is that true?

I stopped sticking the mic. I never went through that. I stopped sticking the mic. I was burning when I got in the car. I thought that what you should be more afraid of is having gastro. The comedians, the parents. You know, you were talking about how you were sick. Last year, I already had the gastro during a show.

During a show? Azufest. Did you shit during the show? It was atrocious. Just before, it was Emile's show. It's called Emile and his Enemies. And in the show, there was Adib, Rachid, Pantelis. We arrive in the city center.

I arrive there and as soon as I get there, I start to have disgust. It's strange that it's Emile and his enemies. And the audience will be like, Hey, he's really pissed. He's pissed on stage during his show. Exactly. While I'm doing your thing, the people in front of me will say,

Yo, it's not good and it stinks. Oh, dude, it was gross because... But you're... So basically, I get there and I'm like, I'm starting to be grumpy. Oh, dude, it was gross because... But you... So, I get there and I'm starting to be confused. I'm like, you know what? I smoked a cigarette or just smoked the club. And I'm like, oh, I just heard a... I'm like, oh, fuck man. I'm like, fuck, you're not serious. What's going on?

And I'm getting up and I'm trying to talk to Rashid, Adib, the whole gang. And they talk to me, but I'm sweating on the spot. They're like, are you okay? And in addition, Adib, he talks to me about, you know, I'm doing Muay Thai. He talks about boxing. He's talking to me, but I'm sweating on the spot. And Adib is talking to me about my Muay Thai. He's talking about boxing. He's so into it. I learned so much. I'm like...

And then, Emile tells me to close. I'm like... I don't think I can close. Why am I doing this? I'm not doing well. He's like, okay, open. I do anim. And when you call me, I'll come.

He's in the middle of an animation. And that's when it starts to come out. It just comes out of my ass. So I'm'm going to be crazy. I was like, cheer up, and when you call me, I'm going to come. He was cheering, and that's when it started to come out. It just came out of my ass. So I'm just going to sit down. Ra, ra, ra, ra, ra, ra. I'm going to come out. It looks like Lady Gaga's tune.

It's very ra, ra, oh la la. And have a romance. Ah! And I was like, I was getting up hands, I was shaking, I was sweating, and I checked and Emil kept doing the cross-cut and I was like, I'm back in the toilet, I'm back. I went back like two or three times and then I just heard that they were introducing me, but I was just screaming in the toilet and a guy was like, Yo Jacob where are you? And I went out and they were like, are you okay. I'm shaking. I go on stage.

He says you're okay. I say, No, stay away. It's okay. I don't know how long I can do it. I was able to do my 11 minutes, but at the end of the joke, sometimes I was wrong and I was just... Oh my God. You have to be so scared. You have to be happy. or you have to be happy. Ok, it's just looks.

It's just looks. You know, it's horrible to do. You have a slap, you're like... Man, out of all of this, you even got your ass sucked. No, wait, wait. No, no, no, no, I have kids, I have lingerie on me non-stop. I always have lingerie. So I keep on rolling and sometimes you hear the... I just fart a little bit and I'm like son of lingerie on me non-stop. I have lingerie all the time. I keep on drooling and sometimes you hear the whistle.

I just fart a little bit and I'm like son of a bitch. I finish my last joke. I finish my last joke. You have too many asses. It's okay, it's okay. I finish my last joke. I give the mic to Emile. Rashid looks at me like bro you're not okay.

I tell Rashid, when you talk, keep the mic away. And I just keep walking because I feel so bad. And I focus very quickly. Would you give a towel so that the mic is on? I wasn't even able to control it. When you're pissing in your ass, you think less about the hygiene of the mic. I don't have control of my body. You really think I'm going to tell Emil Hey, why micro SM58 please?

I'm in the city center and I live in a cycle. I stopped at 3 couches late to shit. I didn't stop because I was driving and I was driving manual. Sometimes I clutched badly, it moved and I was like... Oh man! I stopped in a couche late and when I got home, I looked at the guy and I was like I'm going to the was in the bathroom and when I got home, I was looking at the guy and I was like... I was like, you have to eat something, son of a bitch! I was coming home and I had like 6 Gatorade, man!

It was disgusting! That was the most atrocious time. Do you have leather pants? No, no. Ok, that's why you stopped. You know? Because It's not true. You would have shit yourself. I wouldn't stop three times.

No! I would have done... ...getting to two, you're like a sign of life. Yes, shit yourself. There's someone out there who wants to shit in my pants. Fuck my ass. I'm just gonna shit on it. There's gonna be an update that's shit on it. He's gonna have an addition to clean it. It's chill.

I never started any podcast with a shit story. It's disgusting. It's because I have two kids bro. I have two kids so they fall ill and I fucking like it. I always kiss my girls if I'm in the mechanics. And in addition, they are in the age of the grocery stores

who put everything in their face. And you know, it must be just one thing. It's two little bacteria nests that are walking around. The fact is that I tell them, like, she who is six years old, she's finished school, so it's okay. While she, two and a half years old, like, every time I drop her at the nursery,

and every time I go get her, I'm like, do we put things in our mouths? And I looked at the educator and she said, she wouldn't have stopped eating from the box. Son of a bitch. My nephew one year, I found this cute. I don't even think it's really cute, but when he was two years old, he was eating biscuits and looking outside and there was water on the windowsill, like a little puddle of water, and he was looking at that

and he was dipping his biscuit in dirty water. That's cute! And I was like, that's so cute! But that kid is going to pee his asses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's disgusting. I was like, what is this generation? I think we've all been like that.

What's wrong with your kids? I think kids are curious but they forget quickly. They're so into the present moment, they're going to eat poop and then the next week they'll be like, Ah, it's appetizing. They'll put it back in their fucking mouth. I think. Poop and shit, bro. What's wrong with your kids? No, but it's crazy bro.

I don't know why the kids are curious with the mouth. They're going to lick the door handles and like... What are you doing? Yeah, one thing I like is seeing the kids shit. Especially... No, no, no! Wait! Yo, I was wrong with the gastro. Are you serious? He's like a judge, but now he's going to talk about Josephine on the dark web.

That's it! No, but they're always going to isolate themselves. They hide all the time. When they have layers or when there are no layers? When they have layers. I like to surprise them. Like me. My nephew, on my sister's side,

when he was shitting, he would hide behind the door. I like to open the door and be like, what are you doing? He takes her away. There's nothing worse than a baby who is comfortable shit with bedding. There are some that even walk and... Walk. They are just... You're like, hey, dude, you know, you're...

I call the police. You know, go shit your boots behind the door. You know? Pretend to play in your kitchen and shit yourself like a normal person. You know, it must be hard. You know, when you get old again, and it's not everyone who turns to the bed, but of course they turn to the bed. It must be hard. I'm getting old again, and it's not everyone who's turning their backs on themselves. It must be hard.

It must be weird to do. That's my life. I've already been a business manager. Now... I'm getting pissed. I'm getting pissed because taking off pants is hard. I think it's weird at first, and then I think it's fun with that. At first it's annoying because you're not in control.

You're talking to Marguerite and then something pops out. She won't want to walk with me. I'm fucking pissed. Imagine you get tickled and you're incontinent. It must be terrifying. Maybe that's why you see old people in the castle. It's nothing to do with them getting angry. Maybe the thing is, me being old, that would be my thing.

If you're looking for someone in your castle, okay, come with me. The only time I've been angry is in the South. Always eating food there. To have a butt hole is really in the South. You're in the South? It's always eating food there. I don't know. There's always something that...

I'm on my way to the beach, and my butt hole says, Oh, go back. It's not the same bacteria, I think. Are you the kind that risks a lot? When you go to the South, are you like, Oh no, I'm capable. Me, the ice cream, we often say, Oh, don't take the ice cream, it's made with water.

I'm really bad at it, because I really pay attention to the water, but I put ice cream in everything and I eat my ice cream. And the second day, I'm always like, oh yeah, okay. But I never got any of the ice cream. The second day, I'm always like... Oh yeah, ok. I just... But I never got caught by tourists. Oh shit! Cuba, man! Cuba 2013! Wow!

Woo! Oh yeah? In Faradero, I'll always remember my guy... Yo, I think my asshole spoke Spanish, bro, it was crazy! It was... Yo! I arrived at the beach and in that time I had a girlfriend. We were arguing on a... I don't remember what it was.

And all along she was arguing. I was farting but like... It was warning slaps. 100% he has a smell bro. There was one more millimeter coming out each time. I was like, yo, stop talking. I need to go to the toilet. I never ran as fast as I could to go to the toilet, bro.

And you also have to run. That's the worst way to win an argument with someone. The person can't say anything, you just get in the car and you're like, hey, I need to go to the toilet. You can't follow! You know, you're a pilot. Never. You're nominated for the Dynasties gala.

Yes! Let's go, let's go, let's go! Thank you very much. Humorist of the year and personality of the year? Humorist of the year and personality of the year, but in the black community. But personality of the year is a vote from the public. It's a vote from the public for personality. You should have the whites win you.

Yes, yes, Chantal please, vote. But when will it be already passed? The gala is on April 26th. So, that's it. It's going to be over by then. What are the criteria for checking public personality? I don't even know. Public personality is just the votes on the internet.

What are they? The votes on the internet. Do I have an access? No. I was trying to speak well! No, it's not your internet. The only criterion is that you have to be black. That's the only criterion that checks.

And humorist of the year, I... You make jokes. I make jokes. They like that. It's cool. Last year, you won something for Montreux. Yes, thanks to you. I was one of the judges.

I'm lucky Mike was there, otherwise I wouldn't have gone. No, you really had everything. I was the only one who voted against you. We don't dare to say it. We'll let the gala dynasty know if we don't want to go to Montreux, you bastard. I won that contest, it was my first Montreux. And the winner of that contest went to Montreux, to do the festival. And that was cool.

It was weird to arrive there because you have to adapt to the public. Have you ever done a gala at 2 p.m.? No. The gala in Montreux are now at 2 p.m. There was a gala at 5 o'clock. The next day, it was 2 o'clock and 5 o'clock. What? Yeah.

Chris, and the Europeans, they're supposed to be at 10 o'clock in the evening. Even I, in my age, I've already had a corpo in Montreal at noon and a half. It's a secondary school. I've never spoken so quickly. I've never had the opportunity to Montreal at noon and half. It's a secondary school. I've never spoken so fast. I've never taken off from the body. It's because it seems like in the afternoon or in the afternoon, you can't make people believe that all this is a mask. Whereas in the evening, you can make them believe that it's funny.

Yeah, and it was nice. It was a beautiful experience. It's a beautiful city. It's really beautiful. Lausanne, yeah, it's a very beautiful city. Oh, you were in Lausanne. It's really beautiful. Lausanne is a very nice city. Honestly. Oh, you were in Lausanne? Because the Montreux room is in repair. What?

Yeah, the room... What? It's really bad. The contest. They sent you a beef, a Neux series. No, but... It's going to be like in Montreux, in a nice room, at 8 p.m. Except you're going to be in Lausanne, it's midday and it's 4pm.

There's a buffet there. Yeah. And it was in Lausanne. Who was the animator? Are you an animator? It was Fadili Camara. I was the first to play the gala. Ok.

So it was... You weren't on the gala but you won the contest to play the gala. Yeah, exactly. There was a lot of back and forth. That's weird. I feel like I'm being judged. No, don't worry. Even when I received the confirmation letter, it was never clear what they wanted to give me.

And even in the comments... Did you read it all? Yeah, we did. Yeah, I remember. My manager read everything. At first, he said I could bring someone, but then he said no, you can't bring someone. And you had a written proof? Yes, I screenshot the conditions and the winnings and I sent them in a way that I would like them the conditions and the winning stuff and send them in a way like Yo, it's me who would like to do it.

Did you ever invite someone? Yes! That's what happens. When, let's say, it's tough. It's weird to say to someone, Yo, you're not going to Switzerland anymore. Especially Switzerland is a country where not everyone is lucky enough to go there. No, really not. So you were telling someone... It's a shame. Who were you bringing? Switzerland is not a country where everyone is lucky enough to go there. No, not really.

So you were telling someone... It's expensive. Who were you bringing? I wanted to bring my mother at the beginning. Some friends who have already been to Switzerland told me that there are a lot of slopes and my mother has low mobility, so it's going to be tough to be there. So I brought my brother. It was funny to see a guy from Montreal North in a rich place. And it's rich!

Rich in no way. A rum and coke... Are you one of your brothers? Yeah. But at the same time, they did like... OK, maybe it's Young Thug who's here. And a rum and coke cost 18 Swiss francs. Which is about 27 Canadian francs.

28, 30. Almost. So, I gave the guy the money and he didn't even come back to change it. I was like, how much? There's not even a drink, it's just A0. The night at this hotel is 1000 Swiss francs. It's expensive, the dress. When I was in Paris for a wedding,

I checked the restaurants and I was like, yo, it's fucking expensive, how can people live here? It's crazy. But in addition, Switzerland, we have friends, my blonde, who live in Switzerland, and they are directly on the French border. And for them, France is a third world country. So they say, hey, don't buy in France because if we buy too much, if there are too many

Swiss people there, prices will go up, and then the French people won't be able to buy. And I was like, do you realize that in France, everything is 8 times what I pay? You know, Chris, I'm rich for Quebec and I'm a peasant even in France. You're an itinerant in France. Oh yeah, in China, Steehan takes me in pictures. I don't know why I said China, I wanted to say Switzerland. I wanted to say Switzerland, but it looks like China already bought Switzerland. No, but it's a very cool festival and I did a lot.

And the reactions, did people like it? Oh yes, people liked it. I was lucky to go with them to accommodate myself in front of the audience. They wanted me to arrive the day before the festival and that I would leave the day after the festival. And you wanted to do a couple of shows? Yes, I wanted to go to France before, then do some filming in France and then come back to Switzerland. Which room did you do or which comedy club did you do in France? I did the Panam Café.

I did the Kobe. Panam, is that still in Panama? Cadet? I think so. I think I spoke with a young man who doesn't accept his calvary. But it was weird. Cadet? I don't know. His hair was... Cadet, he doesn't have dreads? I spoke with a man...

It was crazy. I just wanted to make eye contact with his hair. It's like you know and know. Come on. It was crazy. I just wanted to make eye contact with his hair. It was like you know and know. It was very weird. It's a different mentality in France. But it looks like they want to intimidate us. When I was 3 years old in Paris with Kader Houn, he was just intimidating me in a room. He was like shut up.

Yeah, it was very weird. I played two nights, but I played a lot of shows. So they have lot of shows. They have very long shows. You can play a million times. Did you play in Switzerland before? I played the first part of Eddie King. He was there during the festival.

That's cool. It was a small comedy club. It was sold out. In Montreux or Lausanne? In Lausanne Ok So yeah, it's cool, I did it first What did you modify as material? Like, you arrived a few days before, what did you have to adapt?

You were like, shit, it's not the same One year, when I was, oh man, I really wanted to punch them One year, I was doing, I was talking about triplets from my sister's triplets. And they said, Hey, hey, hey, don't say triplets here, say triplets. I was like, are you serious? I was looking at him with disgust.

I was like, okay, that's good. But after that, I don't think I changed. Not that much. I didn't change that much. I don't talk much in slang, street, neither. So I didn't change that much. And you don't have that many local references? No, no, that's it.

I just changed, one day I was talking about reviews... Uh... reviews... Chalets? Yeah, chalets. I said avis. And... Avis? They call them avis?

They said avis. Avis? A-V-I-S? A-V-I-S, I guess. and... Aviv? Yeah, they called me... It's called Aviv? They called me Aviv. Aviv, A-V-I... Av-I-S, I guess. Av-I-S, yeah. But it's still... That's it, Chalet! No, no, no! No, no, no!

Okay, okay! Okay, okay! Okay, excuse me! Okay, ah, the Aviv Review! Oh, wow! Okay! Is it us that we have an accent, Mike? Is it our accent?

We're going to change it. I saw the word Chalet. No, but... Okay, I'm going to change it. I'm going to change it. I'm going to change it. I'm going to change it? We're going to change it. I saw the word chalet. No, but... I had a chance to ask the question because when I was going to Europe, I said, Oh, I rented a ship.

I rented a ship in the north of France. No, so... I'm in the north of France! I did a review of my own opinion. So now they told me to change the word review for an opinion. Ok, that doesn't change anything, since it's the kind of words that we have here anyway. It's always weird, for example, if they say a word that we would never say here, and you're like, on a is it's a little weird person see these are more con dearest Jimmy see peter come a CEO bizarre what the limp remember much it's the impression that the premier foie que j'essayais d'emprunter de large on projeter de maison pique j'arrivais pique par les métaux à quelqu'un de la banque j'étais

clairement en train de faire semblant de quelqu'un que j'étais pas j'étais plus I was clearly pretending to be someone I wasn't, and that I was richer than I was. And every time I went to France, and they said that in the beach, I was like, no, no, I'm just going to look like a poor guy. Do you sometimes get to get to places and you're like, I don't have my place there? Unfortunately, no. Okay. No, but I'm surprisingly comfortable everywhere with everybody. And then, you see,

I had never thought about it, but it's rare that I play in Europe. But before, you know, I asked a Swiss friend that I said, hey, can you look at my stuff? And then I think the next time, I'm just going to ask artificial intelligence, I'm going to do, hey, write that, but in...

that the French understand, but that a Quebecer... It's Quebecer that the French will understand. I think that's what I'm going to do. And then Chad JPT will sell my stuff to Kader Awon. No, but it seems to me that there are places I go to. Like recently I went to a dealership and I really had the honor of a stupid because I never stepped foot in a dealership. I wanted to get a car and I went to the dealership and I didn't know what. I don't know how to communicate the language of the sellers.

I swear, I got there and I was like, hey, I want to buy something, but before I have questions, before buying something, he said, do you want a new vehicle or an occasion? And I said, what occasion? I had no idea, I thought occasion is like, you loot from time to time, it's occasion. It's like, you're in front of a wedding, you take the car of the occasion. It's not something you can pay for because it's an occasion. The seller said, hey, do I have an accent or what? No!

But guys, I did what occasion? And then he just said, I'll transfer it to the seller. Because he was the person who was at the reception. And that's it, I had the... Like, I never said I was going to sell my car. And then I told the seller and he didn't believe me. Like you told him, yo I have a... I have a background.

Ok. That's my background, I would like to buy that. And he was like, you're kidding. I was like, yeah, whatever. But cars have become so expensive, even since the Panjini, it's crazy. Did you finally buy the car? No, it's crazy. Did you buy the car or not? No, no. Finally, you bought it.

No, no, I didn't buy anything. I arrived there, I talked to the guy and I was so scared of an idiot because I was asking questions and at the very end, he answers my questions but he waits for other questions because if so long that I don't tell the guy I'm going to buy this car, he has to stay with you. He gets stuck on it because I didn't say the word I bought this car. He's not going to continue being a jovial. There's no commission.

He's just waiting for you to buy the car. When he talks about things to do to get the car, what did he change? Do you pretend you understand? No, no, no. I do that. When I bought my car, he said you have to change the clutch. I was like, yeah have to change that. I was like yeah.

Ok, ok, ok. But when I got my car, I was like what is a clutch? Is it an occasion? Do I change that from time to time? And then when I got in the car, I was like... No, but... I was an idiot. I got in the car, I didn't even know the car was manual. I was like ok, alright. No, but you know, I even starting to get along with the vendor.

The vendor stopped talking and was waiting for the next question. I was like, ok, it's time. If I get it, I'm done. But the guy was like, if you say those words, you won't buy anything. I was like, ok, perfect. I'm coming back. He gave me the card. I got up and I saw the new cars. I wasn't able to just talk to the vendor.

Then get up and just leave. I stayed a newbie. I wasn't able to talk to the seller, get up and leave. I stayed a little bit... Nice, huh? Have you ever tried to buy a car and then you refuse? Yes, several times! That's the worst feeling ever! How do you react? It's so annoying because the seller is doing all his pitch and I'm like... And then I look at him and I'm like, yo bro, it's not going to work out. It's not going to work out on Friday.

No, but in my head I'm like, I'm aware of my credit card bro. I was in DT, I was at theégep, I was at the university, I forgot that. You're talking about buying a Honda C-HRV 2021 bro. The credit code is marked THE NIGHT. That's the code. Did it happen to you? Well, yeah, in time, I didn't think... I tried to buy a Montreal Auto Prize. Did you try to buy a car from Montreal Auto Prix. Did you try to buy a car from Montreal Auto Prix?

No, no, but from Montreal Auto Prix. And there was an ad that said, we accept everyone. It wasn't that, but it was like, whoever, come on, we'll sell you a car. We'll crash you. I tried, I didn't pass. And then the guy told me, you don't pass, and then the guy told me,

you can't pass, but if you have a bank, go to your bank. You know, he was telling me, if you have a bank, go to your bank, and they might pass it to you. So they told me no, I went to see my bank, and then I asked to borrow money, and then the lady said no, you can't pass. And you, la madame a dit, non, tu passes pas. Puis tu sais, c'était un char de 24 000 piastres. Puis j'étais comme, carlisse, non, non. Puis là, je montrais mes preuves. Puis elle était comme, non, non, t'es travailleur autonome.

Fait que je suis parti. Puis là, je suis fâché. Puis genre, j'ai fait, OK, je vais... Tu sais, genre trois mois plus tard, j'ai payé cash pour un char. Puis je l'ai ramené I paid cash for a car and I took it to my bank to show it to my wife. I was like, I told you, I had the means. It's petty as fuck. I love it, I respect it so much. That's what I want to do. My dream right now is just to be able to understand the dialects of the dealers and go back there and buy the car. I know I'm going to get into trouble, but just to show someone that I can't go. I don't know what a background music is, but I have the tabard.

Just before I bought the car, I went to see... When I went to Toyota, Honda, they treated me like shit because I was like, I don't have a rich look, I look a little richer now, but you know, I was always wearing jeans and a black t-shirt, so there was even... Blue hair, that's for sure, it's not good. It doesn't look very good. But you know, I went to buy a Civic, but we were sitting there and it was not like, you're like, oh, Steve Fancy. And there was a guy, I wanted to buy an Undercard and I said, yeah, I'm

interested in the Undercard and he said, it would be better to buy a Civic. And I said, no, I want the Hakar. Civic, the Hakar is 230$ per month. And I was in a mess. I had a job on TV. He said to me, go buy a Mercedes. They were in a queue at Kestadler. So I went to Mercedes and paid cash for an old Mercedes. Wow, still. Do you remember when you came to the Poutinevoir with your Tesla?

Because we're talking about cars and I could have just never forgotten what you did. Do you remember what you did with your car? I don't remember that I did a car. Ah, really, it was so fucking funny. You came, I think you came for the show of like Emil and me, that we invited people. I don't remember what the show was, but you came. You stayed in Chile in the evening. You stayed late after the show and we were chilling.

And one day you looked at Emile and me and you were like, Hey, boys, come outside, I'll show you something. And then you just showed what Tesla was doing. It was making a lot of noise and it was like... Oh yeah, the windows were down and there was music. So you do that to everyone? You did it to me? I love that!

I love that you do that! I'll let you take one. Mike, show us your trophy. I love it! You were so proud. I loved it so much. You can't? I can, but now I look less proud. You can do it? I can do it again, but now I look less proud.

It's funny, you know, I had a problem with... Yeah, it's the sign of a guy who makes you proud. Last week, I had a problem with a battery problem. I had googled how it would cost to repair, and it was like 20,000 dollars. But when I went, it was still guaranteed, so everything is free. So I get repaired, and I get a text from Tesla,

it's like, are you satisfied with the customer service? 0 to 10, 10, our service, 10, the staff, 10, this guy, 10, all 10. Are you going to recommend Tesla to someone else? I was like, ah Christ! I would like that, but I can't. No, I can't.

Does it really bother you to have a Tesla with what's going on right now? No, not at all. No, no, no. He doesn't put his hands on the wheel. But for real, I don't take my car by saying, yes, bra, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, The hand sign didn't even bother me. I bought it after the hand sign! Mike looked at the hand sign, Mike also said hi! I know too many people who are borderline otis, I don't think it's racist, it's just an otis.

It's a weirdo. It's a weirdo. My sister bought a Tesla, so we look at her pretty badly in the family. Because she's the only one who can afford a Tesla. Do you think that Elon is is an extrovert? Because before I thought he was more reserved. But now I think he's more average. I think so. I've never had 280 billion,

but I think it gives you a little confidence. I give it to you. I give it to you. The feeling I have when you have the president's phone number and he answers the first time. He goes, oh hey, hey, yes, no, you don't bother me, no, no, ok, there's a Ukrainian crying, but... Oh yeah, well, no, it's not a bad time. I understand that he becomes a super saint. He's got 244 billion. But what a bad father. Why is he a bad father?

Because he has 28 children and one of them is dragging everywhere like if it was a small trophy. He has a lot of children. He has a lot. He there's a lot of them it's Nick Cannon of the artists it's it's really it's Nick Cannon that's good

you didn't understand everything check Wild'n Out Nick Cannon is a black black child, you already understand. He has a lot of kids, but with all kinds of mothers, all kinds of different women. He looks a lot like Mariah Carey. Yes, exactly. It's a statement.

I don't understand why there are so many kids. I think Nick Cannon is around 14 years old. And he's not that old. But at the same time, that's the beauty. If you have kids with lots of women, you could have 22. And have 14 kids. That's crazy. That's crazy. Elon Musk is Nick Cannon.

But Elon Musk has a lot of kids. A lot of kids. And that's it. I think he changed a lot. His daughter was his guy. And when he made the transition... Oh, there's a transition. Oh, yeah. So that's why he's got trans.

He's pissed off after that. But at the same time, it's a call. What are you expecting? There's 30 people who are going to switch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. Seriously, bro. There's 30 people.

There's 30 people who are going to ask for attention. They're going to say, Hey, dad, call me Michelin from the start. The probability is pretty crazy. But at the same time, bro, as I understand it, as you see,, I have two kids and it's because I have the salary that goes with it. It's for sure that if I made more money, I want more children. I think 7 billionaires would be 40. I have the salary to have condoms, that's it.

What? What did you say? I have the salary to have condoms bro! If I have a child in life life, I'll forget about it. The DPJ will come to my house. What does it mean? Clutch bro! I changed the clutch bro! Do you think you'll have kids one day? I think I'll have kids one day.

How old are you? I'm 33. 33. I think I'll have kids one day. But live for the moment is not my priority. Especially with the... the stuff that goes into my bank account. I clearly can't have kids at this time. It's crazy. But no, not for the moment.

Does your family put pressure on you? Are you in this situation? Oh yes, my mother? A Haitian mother at 33 years old, you don't have a grandchild? Yo, Blizzard, she rejects the family. It's crazy, man. My mom, she absolutely wants me to have a child. And my brother is the only one who had...

OK, yeah. One of my brothers is the only one who had... The one who went to the barbershop? No, the other one. Perfect, OK. He's the only one who has a child. How many children? Just one? Just one.

OK. And he made a group where he sends us messages like, Yo, guys, it would be cool if Thomas could play with his cousins. We just looked at the message and we went, Ah! Oh no! Me and my other brother, we called each other and said, Yesu, Yesu, that's what it is.

Did your parents put pressure on you to have a kid? On my father's side, no. On my mother's side, a little. When I told my grandmother I was 25, she thought I was gay. Oh yeah? Yeah, because we Latinos do this all the time. She did it for her. She was like, 24, no child. He's gay. 100%. And, no children. He's homosexual. 100%

He had earwax, he's gay. That's right. For a family reunion, like, Jacob, do you have a child? No, you just see your grandmother's face. Just my grandmother. Maricon! My grandmother was like... Maricon!

You see, my aunt and my grandmother want me to have more children. You already have two. I have two, I want to have more. Do you want more? She wants more. Do you want more? No, the lady doesn't want more. The lady?

I think for real, no matter what the guy wants, it's not him who has to get the body scraped. It doesn't make sense. Not only the body scraped, but at birth, he cuts it,

he opens it, like it's modeling paste. It's crazy. It's like, even like me, the lady took some time. Like, you get chopped, then you have to get up, like 48 hours, 72 hours. You're like, ok, let's go, let's go. The room is not for you forever. How long is it? Is the room two days?

It's not long, I don't think it's even, yeah, that's it. Because the first one is different, but the second one... My second one, I think it was max 72 hours. 72 hours to tell you let's go to the toilet? Yes, it has to be quick. I even remember the nurse. The second nurse was a Colombian, a Latina. And even at 48, the nurse said, «Mister, I'm fine. »

«You said you wanted to go to the bathroom, so I said, yeah, but I don't think I want to get up, so she said, try it now. So the blonde lady said, oh yeah, it's true, so I said, go ahead, go ahead, that one, that one. Just to tell you, Jacob has the right to make the accent. Yes, yes, it makes sense, yes, yes.

I was in Mexico with Yann, I have the right, I'm correct. You're not rich enough to have more than two children. You're not poor enough for Yann to take a picture of you. You're like in the sweet spot. Yann, did we talk about this before we started? Yes, that's it. So, the people who listen won't understand.

It's just that Yann comes back from Mexico. No, you talked about it. No, the show has started. The thing we didn't talk about is the Claritin case. Ok, perfect. But it's like what you just said. I think that Mom Ablone is like, no, I understand.

I understand, but she... Do you say, the next one will want... I'll cut and send it. When it comes out, I'll do it in real and send it to her. When it comes out, I'll make a laugh and send it to her. Do you plan on doing vasectomy? No. No? Okay.

No, no, seriously, I love wearing condoms. Okay. It's sick. Do you have one right now? Yeah! Yeah! Oh man, it's because it looks like it's an effect of love. Like when my blonde tells me, like, do you have a condom? Ah man! It's because it's like a Pavlov effect.

Like when my blonde says to me, Do you have a condom? I'm like, I had one before, so I'm like, Hey! It's going up straight away. And then, I'm early. I'm super fast. So with the condom, you're like... Yeah, when there's a thickness, it's less sensitive. So I have like 4 or 5 more shots of the basin, it's sick.

It's insane. Because the difference is not 6 or 4 shots. It's sick. I'm not sure that there are women who are like, buy three times to come. Oh, but yo, go slowly. You have to get your ass out. You take it out, you put it back in. You just shit yourself. I know as soon as I get in, I'm like, yeah, I have three times left.

Admit it, admit it, admit it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah in, I'm like yeah, I have three more shots left. Admit it! Admit it! Admit it! I'm already starting to apologize, I'm really sorry. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. As soon as you go in and it's so wet and hot, you're like I'm sorry. You, Mike, okay. You, you went out with a new lady. Yeah, well, yeah, since a couple of years, yeah. It's been a couple of years?

Yeah. Okay, between the old lady and the new lady, how long? You want me to rate? No, no, no! No, no, no! It's just a joke. I'll never do that. Did you have a time lapse when you were single?

Yes, I was one year old. One year old? How long? I was one year old. One year? How come? One year, really. I really wanted to live my mourning of my old couple. I didn't want to. It didn't bother me to have a rebound. Exactly. No, no. I was one year old.

How come? How come? Well... It was... Sometimes they ask you if you're crazy. No, no, no. I haven't been crazy about anyone. I was a year in Pistina.

But I was lucky because my separation... I had the means to pay for an apartment that had meaning. I was thinking about that every time I woke up. I was like, how lucky I am if I had just been separated five years before during my trial. I would have said, well, okay, I'm going to rent a room somewhere. Or I'm really going to hang myself. Now is the time. There's nothing left. Well, no, I don't think I would have been lost, but... Maybe. My mother would have taken you home.

How did she take care of you? She would have taken care of her mortgage. She would have just seen how much the guy was pursuing her. She would have said, he can pay, he can pay. Make jokes on my son. I'll gonna continue. But we're not going to go to the race. It's gonna be a friendly race. It's gonna be friendly. Give me 40,000.

No, please. So it's like a year that I was alone in your apartment. A year that just... You know, it's really weird. I really like for me. I really like traveling and I wasn't on tour. I really like fighting. So I went to this... Fighting? Yeah, the PFL.

I went to see... You know, I went to see the PFL three times. Once in New York, once in Washington, once in Atlanta. I went to UFC in New York, once in Washington, once in Atlanta, I went to UFC in New York, I went to... Atlanta, did you go to strip clubs? No, we didn't go. It's my dream, man. Oh yeah, it's true. Yeah, apparently you can fall in love with the dancers there.

Of course. Yes. And Payne said it. Your celebrity wouldn't last a year, bro! I find it crazy that for a year, living your death is seeing people break their faces. It's incredible! Mike White would have come back from Atlanta and said, I want a mischievous child. For example, there was a thing, you know, Atlanta, I had always heard that it was a city more black than white, but I didn't know it was so gay.

It's really... It's the San Francisco of blacks. Everyone was gay. I never... Everyone, you know... Everywhere we went... You're never sure just before the pants are down. Just before the pants touch. There was a time, we went somewhere and then... I was...

First place, Preach made me cruise. It's normal. Preach was a good guy. But after another place, it was like... Something flirty with me. And I was like, okay, it's fucking weird. Because, you know, after we went... I like that you're raiding yourself. You're like, I would never cross...

No, no, but I'm a gay man. I'd rather do a preach than me. I think it's relative. You want a night where you're going to get disassembled? Preach. If you want a good calais, you look like a good... You look like a guy who gives good calais, bro. You look like you're good at making the spoon. I'm 100% sure bro. Ouf ouf ouf.

Hahaha. But we were so close. You look like you're good. I just have the image of rain, I'm screaming. Wooo! While he's taking off here bro, I forget. We had been... Everyone we met was gay.

And one day, we were waiting... I don't one day we were waiting for... I don't remember what we were waiting for. We had a Uber or something and we said, Hey, we're just going to wait in this bar and then we go in the bar. And then it's just guys. But it's a country bar. Country, gay, black. There were like too many... Too many leoir. There were too many elements.

Too many filters. I was like, hey, I've never seen the three mixed together. I know what a Contre Bar is, I know what a Black Bar is, I know what a Gay Bar is. And then the three of them... It smelled like leather, that's for sure. Oh my God. Oh man. It was a like leather. It was like Genie One Leather. And then we went back and I don't remember who it was. It was Stéphane Thélès or...

Who just did... It's just guys in the bar. And I did... No, no, no. There are girls. And then I did... Well, no, it's a guy with a Lil Nas X. Yeah, yeah. They're not as gay as Lil Nas X. And Shabuzy isn't gay, but he looks very gay. I was in a Boiler Room recently with Mee Benson Sylvain and... We didn't know it was this kind of Boiler Room.

Last year I was in a Boiler Room with Mee Benson. A Boiler Room is like a kind of after-club. It ends at 4 or 5 in the morning. But it depends on the DJ. Usually it's Afrobeat, it's kind of remixes of Rihanna, that they mix funk or jazz, it's insane. This time, MiBen bought tickets and we go there, and we get there and it's really not that. It's one turn. All along it's...

One turn. Okay. All along it's... And I love to dance, and Meeben loves to dance. And then we're like, okay, we're doing the vibe, but then we start to look at people and everyone looks at us. Okay. And we're like, why? And then the more we look at people, we're like, ah shit, we're not... Like, they know we're not them.

But what were they? They were shaboos, OK? We stayed 15 minutes. We went outside, we smoked a joint, we went into the boiler room, we went upstairs. The first one... Boiler room, it sounds... You know, maybe it's the fact that I'm an old white guy, but it sounds very Sonar. Sonar low budget. It's the mystery one.

France is going to be like, oh he's going to get hot. 100% We stayed 15 minutes, then we went to YW, then I went to his place, then I went back to our place at 6. It was crazy, you said, I went back to place and I came back home at 6am. That was sick. You said you came back to the boiler room. I dropped a beat and I came back to the boiler room. It was like, yes my place. Recently, I came back home at 6.20am.

When I opened the door, my two daughters were playing in the living room. I just opened the door and something broke in my head. My daughter looked at me and said, What are you doing? Did you ask yourself why you have so many glitters? I said, I'm a pussy! I didn't expect that. I didn't expect to do stupid things like that. I think you're a very bad dad.

No! I think it's you're a good father. I see you going and you're really an impeccable father. No, I'm not. No one could do better than you as a father and you know, I have a lot of other things to do. No, I was going to make a joke of you being able to do more since you're a condom, but... Sometimes I see parents and I see men or women who are very unhappy in their parenting and I think they can't do any more stupid things because in their head they're like, OK, I'm a parent and I have to stay straight and I'm like, no, bro, you don't have to stay like that. Yes, at the base you're supposed to have a routine and I have to stay straight. I'm like, no bro, you don't have to stay straight. Yes, at the beginning you have to have a routine.

And one of the parents has to be there. You can't be like, hey, go out with your friends, I'm trying the crystal meth. That's it, that's it! You can't, yeah, yeah. Tonight! That's what's nice, my blonde is like, super, like, she's not a girl who consumes, so I'm doing bullshit. Like sometimes I tell my blonde, I'm super... It's not a girl who consumes, it's not... I do bullshit, you know? Sometimes I tell my blonde, like, look at the kids, I'm going to do DMT.

Like, I'm going to try shit. I like to do shit. What is DMT? It's like ayahuasca, but it's synthetic. You're not hearing anything, my boy. It's like ayahuasca, but synthetic. It's like an hallucinogen, but... Do you have to have a DMT guide?

No, no, no. Because ayahuasca... Real, he doesn't have to have a DMT guide? No, no, no. A guide? A real one doesn't have to be a shit. A real one is a dog but it takes a guide. Yes, a spiritual guide. The more people talk about it, the more you're like, ok, so you're just going to put me in jail so I can get into a cult. You have to leave the cult.

It sounds very sad. Go to church if you want to go to jail. They need a guide, it's crazy. It sounds very good. Go to church if you want to, you know, the Grandest Manor. They need a guide, it's crazy. No, no, the DMT, I did that in a cottage in Lake Mégantic. A ship? A ship in Lake Mégantic, I gave a review, 5 out of 5. So, ok, so you took that. So yeah, it's in a cartridge, it's like a vip, it's like wax.

And you take a puff... You take a puff. And what's the feeling? So, I did it all by myself, I laid my two girls, my blonde was going to go to bed, and I said to my blonde, it's going to last 30 minutes, if I'm in the lake, come get me bro, please. I don't know what happened. It's so dangerous to drown. During the night?

Yeah, it was midnight. Oh my god. Yeah, I wanted to do that because I saw a lot of videos and it explained how to do it. I believe in YouTube. 100% YouTube is my wake-up call. It's funny that someone explains how to do drugs and he does it too. He's a fag.

I'm like, I'm going to be okay, but it's not the case. And the video, is it hard? 9 o'clock, since no one thought about stopping it. It's just the images. And there are still 15 million views, so you get monetized, you get abandoned. No, the videos I saw are like 17 minutes, sometimes 9 minutes. Sometimes it's doctors explaining what the effects are. It must be heavy with the person who films that. You film someone freezing, and you're like,

my mother was right. I should have become happy. There's a drug I'm trying, it's moche. You've never tried moche? I've never really tried moche. Oh shit! I've never really... What does the word really mean?

I almost had a day with Hassan, and he traumatized me that day. He said to me, you should try moche, there's one one called the devil's dick and I was like oh shit no. The devil's dick? I never heard of that. I was like oh forget it, oh god, oh forget it. But especially someone who has never done bad stuff, you should just say, what is that? It's bad stuff. It's bad stuff.

It's like, especially if you say devil's dick. Yo, forget it, name names, I was like, yo bro, you're good bro? Are you going to consult or what? It's all in that, even the Machu Miedek, it's like penis envy... What? It's true, it's all about ass. I didn't know that. Not all of them, but there are a lot. Are there vaginal stuff too? You know, the guys are a little homophobic, they're like, NALAL!

Give me the vagina of Snapchat! Take a 7 gram of pussycone vagina! Pussycone vagina! So I was told you have to do some shit in a chalet. In a ship? Yes, in a ship. That way it's more safe and it's a nicer experience because of hallucinations and shit like that.

It's like everything is different and even the mosquitoes are all different. The only advice I recommend is to do it with people you trust. It doesn't matter where. If you do it with people you trust, you'll have fun. So I don't want to do it with my brother. No, that's true. You don't do drugs anymore? No, I never took drugs. But 43 years ago, I started taking Erebus. It's absolutely absurd.

I love Erebus. I've only taken the champions once. It's the same feeling as Erebus. I haven't see the difference. We'll make you one then. Because the Erebus is THC, but it's your faith that processes it. So there's a type of psilocybin that secretes it. You can hallucinate.

That's it. I loved the Erebus so much. It's sick. And then I thought, I'm going to become a guy who smokes. And smoking, I don't like it. I'm going to become a guy who smokes, and I don't like smoking. I'm just paranoid. So I'm like, I'm going to smoke and everyone is talking about me. And one of the first times I was frozen, I went to the Canadian Tire to buy something.

And you know, when you're famous at the Canadian Tire, I was frozen, and I was like... They know everything! They know! They know I'm frozen! And I was like, I'm going to throw things away! You're going to see an employee take the northern slang at 95% off! I took edibles with Erika Soares at the Gallant Cinema Québec. Oh my god. Woo! What a night.

Mel is a machine. Yeah. She's really good. The thing is that the Erebols didn't hit while I was sitting. So it's when I got up and the gala was over.

Whoa! Yo! Yo, there was food, there was sushi, there was bread. You have a lot of people who got hit and you got to eat. It must be weird. Yo, there was banks... People were like, you're a trophy and you're a jelly. That must be weird.

I was eating, I took a mountain of sushi. Everyone was looking at me like, hey yo... Yeah, but when you're high bro, you're just like... They were all like, yo, what's the only black guy in the place bro? I was eating like it couldn't be, and I always had the feeling that someone was following me. Ok. And I was trying to... It's probably security.

And I was trying to... I remember, I was trying to jump, I was trying to back trip, and I was trying to order a Uber, but it didn't work. So I called my brother and I was like, Yo, is it you who's coming to pick me up? No, is it you who's going to order a Uber? He's like, where are you? I'm like, I don't know, order a Uber. And I'm like, yo, I need the address.

I'm like, okay, yo, I'll send you my location and you can order it with that. And I'm like, I'm out. That's so weird. Yo, I was so pissed off. I was walking to the Uber, it looked like I was never going to get in. I was just like... It's like, you're fucked up that you knew how to share the location.

It was really more complicated than ordering a... It was in the studio of a movie. It's not Mel's, it's another... It's made there, of a movie. It's not Miles, it's another... It's people who make their own shit. Yeah, exactly. It's like the industry is dead. That they're like,

Hey, we're going to make the Olivier in the Lodge of Jesus. In the Lodge of Jesus. And it's like... Yo, one year, the Uber didn't find the place. My brother gave a conference at 3. Oh! Your brother was like...

He was like, push him out! He almost got a car and he was like, get out! I was telling the Uber, I'm here! The Uber was like, where are you? I was like, I'm here! I did the same thing, I'm sorry. Where are you? I'm not sure. But it must be a basic thing for children. Imagine, there's a conference call. It's rare that you say,

I'm going to call my driver and I'm going to board Monique. Man, it was crazy that night. After that, I went home the next day. I tried to call Erika, but I forgot to call her. I was just at home, like a big potato on the bed, and I was like, I'll never do that again. Did you order a Uber or the Edibles?

The Edibles in a gala party. But I'm sure I'll do it again. But it must be, for example, if the Edibles had boarded before, in a gala, it must been magical because everything is so glamorous. So there you have gold trophies, you have lights, you must be like... Erika left right after the gala. She left you alone.

I was alone with people I didn't know. And there were people who came to me and said, I like your food, I was like... You were like, ah sushi, ah... I was disgusting, man. I was really disgusting. Anyway, do you have a bad taste, friends? But yeah, I think you would like the bad taste. I'll try one day with someone reliable.

Yes, let's go. I'm a parent, I swear. Does it stress you when your children will grow old that they take herbs or mushrooms? I don't think so. I don't think so. I try to lie less to my daughters. I'm honest. My parents are inventing more. My father smoked a cigarette and my daughter asked me what I was doing. I said I smoked a cigarette. She said it was an adult thing. I was like, what are you doing? I smoke cigarettes, so am I allowed to smoke? She said no, it's an adult thing. And I was like, that's not true, because she's the one who's worried. Oh shit, I'm an adult, when I'm an adult, I'm allowed to smoke cigarettes.

In any case, I explain, when I smoked cigarettes before, and my daughter said, oh you smoke cigarettes? When I'm an adult, I'm like, no, no, that's not it. If I smoke cigarettes, I'm a grown up. Take that one, there. You're already a Nazi. Five years, go ahead. Make your brain.

Children make links, it's incredible. It's crazy. It's absurd, just alcohol. When they say, don't drink, it's poison. You tell your children, and then they see us get drunk. It's absurd. It's absurd, but tell your kids and then they see us get drunk. It's absurd.

It's absurd but I explain to my daughter, I take alcohol, it's not good but I do it to be less embarrassed. I tell her, Nora, when you get older you'll notice that we have codes. When you're older you have codes that you have to respect. There are things you say right now, you have the right to say it because you're a child. People think it's normal but at the beginning, you can't say it. She did some associations. Last year, I was lifting a comedian named Eric Sonalisme. He came to our house.

We had a show in Saint-Séance. I said, come to our house, we'll lift you, we'll go there. When you arrive, you just go, go, go, go. I made a coffee on the toilet because we have a 45-minute, 1-hour drive. When you arrive, you just go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, that? She's like, yeah, it's okay. And then my daughter says, what's your name? And then she says Erickson. And she says, I'm Nora. And she checks her props. Okay, but why is she looking at them like that? And then I immediately, I made an association.

I said, you said, you were like, one month, you came to our house. Yeah, that's right. And she saw you, and you went up to our house, you left. But two weeks later, there was Mimie Benson-Sylvain who came. So there she does like, I was like, ok, maybe because she sees that there are blacks coming to our place. It's just that she finds it weird. But I don't say anything. I just look at my daughter and I'm like, yo, you're chill?

She's like, my dad sells drugs, that's for sure. Crazy, like, what the fuck? I found it so weird how she had this hostile behavior. And then we do the show, I drop Erikson at his place, and when I come back home, my children are asleep, my blonde is there, and I'm like, Yo, Nora, are you like, my daughter, are you chill? What happened? She's like, you can't believe what she said.

Then I'm like, what did she say? She's like, when you left, your daughter looked at me and said, Dad, there are a lot of black friends. And my blonde said, your dad has black friends. And she said, why? Dad has black friends. And my blonde said, because your dad wants to be black. It's really just... But it's crazy how they do these associations.

It's crazy. It's impressive. I find that... The links they make... But the children tell the truth so much. It's crazy. Yeah, really, really, really, really. I had a dog that was afraid of blacks. When...'t my dog, but it was my ex's dog. In high school, he was racist as hell. At my school in Quebec, there was your black cat.

There weren't many black people. So, one day, one of our black friends comes, and the other dog barks, and we're like, Oh no, he doesn't like the new world. And then, some white people come, and he's cool. And then another black person comes, and he barks, and I'm like, Oh, are you... And then, one day, I had a black friend coming, and I was like... I had explained before, I had said,

Hey, I'm sorry, the dog is racist. But it's weird to apologize for an animal, you're crazy! Yes, it's just, he had never... For him, you know, I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I have... I know, I have... I have red face, you know. Wait, wait, wait. Dogs see in black and white. So the white one sees in white and the other one sees... But you know, even if you see in black and white...

You see it. You see the contrast. Yeah, that's it. But you wonder what the dog has experienced. Yeah, yeah, that's it. What did the dog experience? He's not racist, he just got his ass kicked. This dog worked for the police, that's what happened.

Every time he sees a black guy, he's just like him. It's a canine. I have to go to work. Yann, do you have any questions? I'm surprised that it's already been an hour and a half. I haven't seen the time pass at all. What do you think of pages like Humoriste Québec or Humour 101? Does it help to make the relay known?

What is it? I don't even know this one. Are you familiar with that? I know what it is and I think it's know these sites. Do you know them? I know what they are. I think it's just their end. They are nice, they want to promote their shows. I like them a lot. I don't know if it helps. I don't know if it helps.

There's never been anyone who came to me and said, I discovered Humo 101. Is Humo 101 Facebook or Instagram? Or is it humaux101.com? If I'm not mistaken, Humaux 101 is an internet site where, for example, you live in Quebec, but you go to Humaux 101, you go to Quebec on a humor night, you say what's on Tuesdays and you go out. It's still good, there's a repertoire.

It's just not... Yeah, that's what's nice, like you're a good one. Nice, man, I'm going to put... It's like a kind of Tinder, but for humor. repertoire. Nice. Nice man. I'm going to put... It's like a kind of Tinder, but for humor. I'm going to put my shit on humor. I'm going to put my shit on humor. I'm going to put my shit on humor.

I'm going to put my shit on humor. It's good. It would be sick, that's the only question. It's literally the only question. It's not true. It's not true! It's not true! Ok, ok, I have a question. We talked about it last week and I asked you the question.

And you, you know what it is. Ok, what was the question I was going to ask? It's the one that's in the bar, I'm sorry. There's another one. Let's go! Let's go! Do you remember when we were talking about being in a relationship and being in a relationship and we were wondering what's worse? What do you think is more tough? Being single forever or being in a relationship forever?

Well, being in a relationship forever. If you're happy, it's the most beautiful thing in the world. No, but I'm not talking about being single. I'm talking about a relationship that's been going on for 30 years and they're together and they hate each other. And they're not able about being single. I'm talking about a couple who have been together for 30 years and they hate each other. And they can't let each other. Or someone who is forever single. The important thing is to be happy. If you're alone, happy, it's just sad. The people who want to be in a relationship but aren't in one.

I always feel bad for them. And the same thing with someone... Thank you Mike. You know... But you know, someone who is with someone who shouldn't be and who is unhappy... You know, both are horrible. But you, you have some misery to meet someone? What's going on?

Yes, yes, yes, what's the problem? We want to know. Well, you know... Is that a big dick? That's the problem? It doesn't fit the socket motherfucker! No, but it's just that I think that for a long time I prioritized my career. I didn't give enough love to the people I've met in my life, so it's always finished. But live right now I'm more in...

Now you're ready, again. Yes, I'm ready! I think I'm ready. I'd like to meet someone. What's your standard right now? What are you looking for in a woman? Oh shit! Yo, it's... Wow!

He said he was ready! Alright! Yo, I need to go to the toilet. I need to go to the toilet. I need to go to the toilet. No... No... No...

You know, I was thinking, when Le Pire asked you that question, I was like, Asti, wait a second, he's going to say something, and then there's a girl listening, she's going to do it. Asti, he's the one who's going to take it. He's like, is he the one who's taking me? And he says, with your answer, it's clear that no. You don't want a girl who's like, oh nice, nice,

the guy wants to shit. A brown shower, that's my guy. A brown shower, shit me on the chest baby. It has to be that, huh? You know, because it's a golden shower, I imagine you're pissed, it it must be a Brown Shower. Oh man, it must be that. It's disgusting.

Because it's not really a shower, it's more... It's more a hot girl. It's like a hot girl, a mask. What's it called, Léa? How long have you been single? It's going to be... Since September, I'm single. What year?

September 2024. Ok, possible, possible. Yeah, but listen, right now I'm looking for someone who will just be down with the job. Exactly. And who would understand that sometimes I would be home late, and sometimes I needed a moment of solitude to focus on my stuff. Often, it was communication between me and the person who was really at zero. So now I consulted, I went to therapy and I learned to communicate with people.

And are you on the apps or...? I've already been on the apps, it lasted a week. I don't like that. Why? I think it's weird. He already had a fight with Hubert. Imagine that! He texted his brother,

he said to him, localization, find me a girl. His brother gives a conference at 3, he's at the film and his brother is like, don't go bro, don't go. My brother texts me at the same time, yo, fag, go away. But yeah, I was like a week on dating apps, but the reason why I don't like it is because I find it weird. I don't know, there's something missing. The description, the photo, what's missing? It's just someone who swipes you, who says yes, who says no, and who's like...

But basically, that's the attraction at the beginning. It's like, when someone pulls you, you're like, no, we're going to have a conversation. But I'm exactly... you ever have a dating? I never, never, never. But I met my ex in 1998. Where did you meet him? I met him in the time before Tinder existed. It was in a Tinder office.

No, I met him in a bar. But that's it. I wouldn't get so drunk. It would take me a while to meet someone. That's what I find sad now. There's so much weirdness. Sometimes, I'm the kind of person, sometimes you see a girl in a beautiful picture, but live, it doesn't come to you. It's called catfish.

No, not even that. There are people who are super beautiful, but don't have chemistry. I'm happy with my blonde, we have a nice chemistry. Exactly. I'm more of a phone-talker than a text-talker. That's crazy. That's why I think dating apps are... It would take the old dating lines. Like, a 9-7-6...

I'm not able to talk to you. What? It's crazy to talk to you. On the phone, I'm not a bandit. What? You're a bandit, you walk! I'm a bandit on the phone, I'm just like... It would become, for real, the nostalgic world, to leave a line of meeting,

I'm sure it would work. I was going to say, I'm sure it would work. Nobody would make money, and it would end up badly, but... But I think that when I want to call younger friends, they find it weird to talk on the phone. I hate talking on the phone. Why?

Because Chris, we can text. It's going to be quick. It's like, yo, what's up Mike, where are you? There's something I thought, you're in, while we other. It's like I text you and then I wait. That's what he wants. All my friends call me and every time I answer, I'm like, hey, do you text? And then it's often, no, no, we have to talk. And then I call and then, yeah, what time did we say we would meet at the restaurant? Was it a text?

It was a text. I like to talk on the phone. No, I'm young. Except for dating, I have this old mentality. I'm not sure if I would be able to do it. Would you be able to do it? When I was 14 or 15, I tried Pouchon.com. What?

Pouchon.com. Pouchon.com. It's an app, like a dating site, where you put your picture. Pouchon.com. It sounds so peculiar. No, no, no. It's super Asian. Pouchon is Creole. What does that mean?

It means beauty. It's more of a slang than a Creole. It sounds like a grown-up. I thought it sounded like a grown-up. Pouchon.com is an app, it's a dating site where a lot of black people were. My daughter knows I want to be black. Exactly.

It's the youth. And it's nice that it starts again. I don't think it will be bad. But like, you now that you're single, when you have dates, do you sometimes have the potato? What do you mean by the potato? Do you remember the potato? You know, the butterflies?

Do you remember when you were single and you were talking to a girl and you didn't know where it was going to lead? Yes, I had that. The first date with my blonde, when she arrived, we went to see a movie and I saw her arrive. I really had butterflies and I was like, ok, yeah, yeah, what is this? Ok, but that's your 12th right now? Yes, yes. Ok, but is this your first date that you're going to the cinema?

It's our first date, yes. Ok, but when I say the potato, it's more like you were just supposed to go to a movie, right? Was this your first date, just to go to a movie or did you have something else after? No, but you know, we were already French, for example, in a party. Yo, pig! Ok, man! Ok, man! I'll see you Mike! Let's go! You know, I knew she was attracted to me. I knew I was attracted to her.

But before the French, didn't you have the potato? Like, oh shit, what are you thinking? Because you're with the lady, you're talking to her, but did you already have her in your plan that you were going to kiss her at the end of the evening? Well, our first date... And you kissed each other? We had already kissed, but she had drunk and I was like... She was drunk! She just kissed me because she was drunk. That's it. After we finished our date, she asked me, she said,

Hey, are we going to get a drink somewhere else? And I said, OK, where do you want to go? And she said, do you want to come over? And I said, oh shit! Oh shit! Let's go! But you see that, all of that... Magnus Baller!

It's crazy! All of that moment, that's crazy! That's the potato? Yeah, that's the potato! It's crazy! All this moment, it's crazy! Is that the potato? Yes, that's the potato! Why is it called the potato? Your heart is beating because... I don't know if you have a goal, but it's like, where are we going? It's because, look, I think that in the first dates,

the woman knows what she wants. She knows if tonight she's going to sleep with you. You're sure you're going to say yes. It's senseless. But she decides if she's going to sleep with you tonight. You're sure you're going to say yes. It's senseless. But she decides if it's tonight or in two weeks. And the other one has the potato like... When is it going to happen?

I don't have that potato. There's a girl I was talking to recently. I told her it would be nice to go for a drink. She said no, she wanted to learn to know you first. That's maybe a marriage question. I'm not good at text messages. I felt like I was asking her childish questions. Like, hey, what are you doing?

I'm not good at it because I a little too long in the cut. So the interaction with... How long were you in the cut? Not long compared to you. I was in the cut for 5 years. You said 98. It's quite long. 5 years is quite long to have caught a lot of bad folds.

That in therapy, you have settled, or at least I hope. But it also shows, me being a woman, I would be like, hey, this guy is able to get on board for a long time. Because I think that's what's hard. Let's say you meet someone who has never had a boyfriend or never been blonde. You're like, damn it. You don't know what your faults are. And when you get older, boyfriend or a girlfriend, you're like, you're a jerk. You don't know what your faults are.

And when you get older, like me, at 50, but you meet a girl who never had a boyfriend, I would be like, you're crazy. No, but you're crazy or you're a bitch. You're a nun. You're a nun and your boyfriend is Jesus Christ. But I don't know, for real, right now, I think we'll see each other soon, but I'm not good at texting, for entertaining. So that's where your text comes from. Yeah, we talk. But why don't you tell him, hey, we're going to call each other on Facetime?

Because you're charming. FaceTime, yes. I don't know. What's the problem with FaceTime? I don't have internet at home. Oh no! I don't want to bust my data, but I could. I don't think it's the angle of the camera. No, it's not true. Honestly, but I could. I could. I can't say it's true. I think it's more the angle of the camera.

No, it's not true. Honestly, I could call her FaceTime. I think she'll even find it... It's weird what I'm going to say. But she'll find it a little brave. Like, you want us to talk on the phone? She said she's down when we talk on the phone. She does that.

It's crazy. It looks like we're giving you shit. I thought she was talking to a 7 year old child. No, no, no, what's happening in you is normal. There are hormones that are in you. I've been asking myself so many questions, I feel like I know everything. If I call her, I'll be like, how was your day? No, but just hearing her voice...

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I've already heard her voice in stories. Okay. I don't understand why you don't have a blonde, you're so romantic. You're so warm, it's incredible. The look of a person who is very interested in other people. Are you romantic as a guy? I'm really romantic.

Except, thank you to the person who did... What are romantic words? For me, to be romantic... What are romantic words? I'm listening. That's being autistic, it's not the same. It's not the same. It's not romantic. Let's say, my blonde, at the beginning, as soon as she said she liked something,

I organized for our date after, she said that. And then one year, the first time we went to Europe together, there was... It's sure that it's romantic that she pays the European rate. Son of a bitch. But then one year, she just told me, It's sure that he's romantic, he pays the money. No, no, I have a son of a bitch. But one year, she just told me,

hey, that's really nice, but we were walking. I remembered. So, once after I went to Europe, I had bought the thing. And then, I went to Europe too often. But one year, we were in Europe with his children and his daughter said, hey, that's nice, and she said, don't say said, Don't say that, he's going to buy it.

Because... I was like, I don't want to be with you, I want to be with your mother. No, but what is it? Do you have moves that you do frequently? No, I don't have any moves. But as soon as someone has moves, I think it's not romantic. It's just being a sexual predator. No, no, no.

You know, like Emile Coury, he knows his wife loves sourdough bread. What's sourdough bread? What's sourdough bread in French? It's a bread... Leavened bread. Exactly. It doesn't sound good in French. Leavened bread. Leuven bread. Exactly. Leuven bread. It sounds bad in French. Leuven bread.

It sounds like it's already been chewed. It sounds disgusting. It sounds like it's fucking disgusting. Leuven bread. Sourdough bread. Sourdough bread. There's something to it. I think sourdough bread is not as hot as that.

It's mushy. It's mushy. Yeah. There's something. But you see how... So she likes the disgusting bread. Yeah. She loves leuven bread so sometimes she sends it to her work.

She loves it. I did one of my first dates with my blonde. She told me when she was little she was wearing cherry blossom. So I sent Uber Eats a cherry blossom. It's cute. You're 12 now? Yes. It's cute. And it's the same as your 12 right now? Yes. Congratulations guys. I have no idea what to write.

But it's not even... You just have to do... What will make her happy? It's just a copy. It's not romantic. You know, you just have to do... what will make her happy? It's just a break. I think that romantic things... It's not romantic, I'm not romantic, but I want to make her happy. Yeah, I think that romantic things that I do...

Like, do the dishes. Yeah, do the dishes. It's romantic to make someone eat. But you know... It's the mom going out of the trash can, but it's pretty romantic. It's not Leonardo DiCaprio, but it's not a big deal. Yeah, exactly. You remind me that on Monday you have to go take out the trash can, it's crazy.

Sometimes, the little spoon is romantic. I like that. Making the spoon, Rabel? Yeah. I like that you call it the little spoon. You're a giant. Did you see your thighs? Yeah.

You're more like a spatula, you're doing the shower. Yeah, you're doing the shower. And she, she's a tiny fork. No man, but I try, I try to work on that instinct. But your ex, your ex, did you have romantic relationships with her? Sometimes, honestly, I think so. I think so, yeah. I was romantic, no, in the sense that I could offer her, for example,

at her party, like I had her... At her party and at the solar eclipse, I think I had her... You bought her glasses! I don't want you to be blind! No, but I give gifts, I often gave gifts, You bought glasses! No, but I gave gifts. I gave gifts often when... If I had made a good humor contract, I would pay him for something,

but good humor contracts didn't happen often. You were the pre-gala in Montreux, that's for sure. That's not good. If you bought something, were you with when you went to Montreux? No. Ok. That explains why you didn't bring it.

Yeah, exactly. Because it would be a shame. It would have been weird if she told her boyfriend that she was going to Montreux. Oh shit! With who? My ex. No, but I make little gifts from time to time. I'm someone who likes plants a lot. Sometimes I buy plants, but I'm the one who takes care of them. Do you have a thing?

It's the least romantic thing I've ever heard in my life. That's why I say it. Hey, you're dead, the greengrocer. I bought you a apple and I'm going to water it. So welcome. You can't even talk to your wife, you're talking to the plant. It's incredible. No, but I have a lot of plants at home anyway.

That's crazy. That's it. I'm not romantic. Yann, there must be questions. Yes, I have some. Oh perfect, yes. He has some. He has some. One or two. I would like to... I like when the light turns on.

Do you know that it makes me laugh? Yes, that's it, it makes me laugh. I don't know why. Axel is asking if Jean-Michel is going to do a podcast with Erika. Oh, no. No, but we are two very busy people right now. You had a podcast before that? The podcast was called Controlled Skipping. We were talking about anything.

We were having fun. And Erika had a passion for haunted stuff. And I was just like, yo, that's crazy, bro. What the fuck? I was like... Oh yeah, is that a black thing that you didn't like about haunted stuff? Oh yeah! Imagine how we run when we see magic. Imagine!

What a gag! You bastard! Imagine we see a ghost, bro. We get disgusted. She liked that. Going to haunted places. I was watching her like Yo, you're crazy bro!

Rika likes that. What things with the scribs and stuff. What's going on with you? The paranormal stuff, I don't know, it's so scary. No, we're not going to do... No, I don't think so. And you, your podcast with Emile, how long have you had it? Since 2020. 2025, huh?

Which is a... You have a great competition. Is there anyone who listens to the podcast without comment and applause? Oh shit! Thank you, thank you. Go subscribe to their Patreon. Please, we are not many. I will.

But, you know, I knew you before you went to this project together. But you are a good mix. It's fun to hear from you. And I would like you to have more Patreons so that you can hire someone to make clips for you on social media. Because you are not well known for the talent you have. In the end, Emile and I are just an old couple. That's what's fabulous about the podcast. We just have a fight for an hour because I don't agree with what he says.

And he's a very stupid guy. It's more Emile who's shick-a-licking. It's so much fun and we say so much shit. I listen to other podcasts, I love podcasts in Quebec, but we are two idiots. That's what fun part. But eventually, when we make more cash, we'll do reels. I've always liked coming to your podcast. Yeah, it's always...

But thank you for the people who listen to it in the comments. It's very cool. Let's go. So, it's five... How many episodes are you on? Oh my God, we stopped counting. We make one every week, but... So it's like 2, 60, 2, 50... Yeah, yeah, yeah. We make one episode every week on Patreon. We stopped giving on YouTube, we only give on Patreon.

And now we have another part where we give an extra 30 minutes. So we make one hour for the Patreons, and we give them one 30 minutes more. Okay, okay. So now, to hear it, you have to be a Patreon. It's really just Patreon. Ok. And do you have a live soon? Yes, April 24th, we're at... but when will it be released? It's coming out on April 25th. So basically, man, that was sold out. There were 7 people.

Thank you. No, but it's going to be released at the end of May, I think. Oh yeah, it's going to be... Oh cool, if it's released at the end of May... Guys, I'm doing my capture at the Cabaret Lyon d'Or. So buy tickets. There are 210 left. 26 June. 26 June?

26 June. So there are a lot, there's still a lot of tickets left. But... A lot. A lot, a lot. A lot. I get the report every time. And I just say to the lady, stop sending me the report. Do you get the reports?

Yes. Do you see it? Yes. How do you feel? I get the reports too. And every time I'm like, Yo, it hasn't changed since last week. It's always the six of us.

It's my family members. us. It's the members of my family. I have a problem with that because if I'm not 100% sold out, I feel like I've wasted my life. And it's really true. I told my team, I said, you know, this around, we just crossed the 150,000 sold tickets. In less than a year. It's really fun. And then I said, hey, I was like, we're going to do this for two years, and then we stop. But then I said, hey, let's try to grab 200,000.

And then I said, hey, let's try to get $200,000. And then I said, hey, let's try to get $300,000. So I said that, and then my team said, yeah, but you're aware that to get $300,000, sometimes you're going to have rooms that are just 80% full. But it's just to have as much time as possible. I was like, no, I think I can live with that. This week, it was my first time that I wasn't 100% sold out. And I wasn't feeling well.

Oh yeah! When I was thanking the world, I was looking at the empty benches on the second balcony. And I was like... My teachers were right. No, but... So no, I really don't like that when it's not full. No, please buy tickets because... But the feeling when it's full is incredible.

Yes, that's for sure. But for real, the feeling when it's 80% full is identical. It's just less than a mental problem. But is it crazy that your 80% full is like... On a room of like 3000, there's like 2600 people, you're like no! Whereas me, it's like, on a room of 3,000, there's like 2,600 people, you're like, no. Whereas me, it's like, I'm a cabaret, it's like there are 90 people. If there are 80%, I'm like, there are still 70. But you know, for example, for real, I like to play in a room of 50,

where there are 50 people, than a room of 20,000, which has 15,000 people. But you also feel that 20,000 is not less intimate, but when you have 80 people, it's like you're talking to your family. It's so intimate. What's going to be hilarious with this capture is that I'm going to bring a choir. Imagine if it's the only people in the audience. After that, they come and sit. The choir will do your walk-in?

No, they won't do it. We haven't decided yet how we will put them in the show, but I'm sure they will have a choir. Ok! Because... Because... The guy doesn't know if he will fill the place, but he knows that he will have 8 people to do the gassponsé choir. He will have a choir, he will have a choir because... It would be sick if...

That's what they're doing in public. Sometimes you clap, other times you're a crazy person. You're all dressed in white. No, but it's going to be hilarious. I'm sure if I don't forget the place, it's going to be them who are going to occupy this part of the street.

It would be hilarious to play in front of black people dressed all at the same time. And they're behind the scenes, the audience is behind the scenes. You mean all dressed up, you mean? Because you said all at the same time, and it's like... There are some who are going to be naked. Do you see, there are black people who are going to be naked. Hey, am'm naked? I'm going to dress up I'm going to dress up after 10 minutes

I'm going to... It's absurd what I'm going to say because I drank a little I'm going to watch hockey tomorrow with your manager Yes, Eric Bille He invited me to to watch hockey with your manager tomorrow. Yes, Eric Bille! He invited me to go watch hockey. Let's go! Big guy, that guy. It's crazy how much...

It's the first time I've spoken with a white guy who told me the truth. It's... Eric is a guy who is very... He's not afraid to say what he thinks. And Eric is a great guy. Wait, let's just step back. Who are the white guys lying to you? What a lie! What a Caucasian! Who is the fucking gringo?

Who told you fucking lies? There were a lot of them, even when I was getting arrested sometimes. I got arrested quite often for... Well, not arrested for going to jail, but... Verification for going to jail later. We stop you because your left light is on. I was like, ok bro. He was like, no, it's not on.

Now it's burnt. When I was 18 or 19, I bought my Switch Eclipse and I got stopped a lot. What? What is a Switch Eclipse? A Me Too Be Shit Eclipse. Ok, but you had a Switch Eclipse. I understood Switch Eclipse. I thought it was another department of clips like La Police.

I was like, oh shit, they upgraded! I thought the Eclipse switches sounded like a knife. Because there were switch knives... The Swiss knives? Is that how we call them? No, well... The switchblades. Is that how we call them? Yann, do we have another question?

Yann is the first white guy I trust. Do you want a question? Oh yes, we'll go with that. It's not bad, the last one we have, it's for Jacob. Someone is asking, does your daughter sometimes roast you to the point where it insults you for real? No, never. No, no, no. My daughter insults me and it's perfect. She's so cute. For Valentine's Day, she made a bracelet and she wrote LOSER. And she gave it to me. She's too cute. I'm too cute. I like that my daughter...

I told you about it. My first daughter was prematurely born. She has a disability. She lacks a part of her foot. I always wanted to teach her that you have to learn to roast tea. You have to roast tea. I have to be with this shell.

That's why my daughter roasts me all the time. Because I want that. It's like a tool. Bravo! It's perfect. It's perfect and it's so beautiful when you talk about her. We see your paternal side, how you love her and how you're proud of your children. It's crazy, bro. It makes me think about everything she's been through and now she's here.

That's what makes me happy. Did you me wonder what she's been through, and now she's here. That's what makes me go crazy. Did you think she was going to die at the beginning? Yes, it's a big premature. My daughter was born 23 weeks and 6 days. That's crazy. It's fucking crazy. How many? Someone who's not a parent, we say months. Someone who's not good at math.

A big 7 is 40 weeks. Parents are all insured at 42 weeks. You're like, hey, tell me in a month. It's 9 months. So basically 9 months and she was born at 23 weeks. So 6, 12, 18, 24. 4 months I see. 4 months, yeah.

No, no, no, no, no. It's 4 weeks. 4 weeks. Alright, guys. 6 months, 6 months, 6 months. How many weeks? 6 months, yeah. 23 weeks and 6 days.

23 weeks. 23 weeks and 6 days. She was 6 days, she was at the hospital for 127 days It's crazy You saw me crying for 12 days It's hilarious Because Oh my god We were just like Fuck, shut up

I was crying Because when it happened with my daughter, Eddie King heard about it and he said, Bro, you're not telling us about it? And I was like, what's going to change? My daughter is in the hospital and I have to keep working. So Eddie King did a background lift for me, but he didn't tell me. And he wanted me to close the show.

So when I did the background lift, he said, You know, you must have sucked your diarrhea and you arrived... In fact, I'm going to close you like a king! It flew everywhere, I pissed in front of everyone. But at the end of the show, he said to me, before you leave, just come, I just have to do the thanksgiving. So there, there's everyone... You didn't know it was a background? We were all aware of it.

You thought it was just a background? It's just a background. He called me and said, Bro, can you close the show? It's a background. I can't say why, but just come. I said, bro, let's go. We didn't say that. Anyway, but...

In the end, Eddie called Emil. Because Emil is a very good friend of mine. And Eddie said, if I do a pump lift for Jacob, will he take it as an insult? And Emil said, I don't think so. I think it was Emil who called me and he just said, Yo, such a date, you're not going to be paid, come. I said, hey, man, that's good. So I came. So basically, we're all in the lodges,

and Eddie says, I want to thank this person, this organization, etc. And then he does the background lift, I shouldn't have mentioned it, but I will. It's for someone who's going through something difficult right now, his girlfriend, etc. And then I knew it was me. So I just started crying and he says, Jacob, if you want, we'll do it for you, if you want to talk about it, talk about it, and then you do what you want with it.

I got up and I was like... Nobody understood anything. Nobody understood anything. It's so true, we didn't understand anything. No, no, no, no. Nobody understood anything. There were people laughing and I was like... There was... There was the death of his mother!

It was so funny! It was so funny! It looked like someone was holding back his shit It was hilarious! You're making fun of him! It looked like an immigrant father crying for the first time! Yeah! You're so annoying! You looked like an immigrant father who was crying for the first time. Oh yeah!

He learned that his son is a doctor and that's what he wanted. Thank you very much! That's why it seems like my daughter, when I see her, sometimes I'm like, you weren't supposed to be there because the doctors, they did 23 weeks and 6 days, she shouldn't be there. At the beginning, they put me and the lady who lives with us, they put her in a room with all the doctors and they said, hey, right now, the next 3 months, it's fucking rock'n'roll.

Days are going well and days are going fucking bad. And we're like, what are you talking about? She might not survive three weeks, or six days. It's obvious that it's a stress, man. But they don't have a choice. A young couple. They don't have a choice. Because if they say it's gonna be okay, and the child dies,

you're like, it's obvious. They say, do you want to? Don't get attached. The next man is gonna be better. Don't get attached. The next guy is gonna be better. Don't give a name, give a letter. And if she passes, you'll complete the letter. So when I see her, I'm like... Sometimes I'm scared because I'm like, f***, you're not supposed to be here, bro.

So when she gives me insults... Do you call her bro? 100% 100% Sometimes at school, because my daughter is so difficult to pay attention to... Sometimes I'm like, hey, put your coat on please. She's going to do a lot of other things before putting her coat on. Sometimes we're in school and there are a lot of parents and I'm like, Yo bro, you serious?

And then the parents are like, Yo, when you ask me something, do I do it? And she's like, Yeah. But you're fucking my brother! You serious? So the parents are like, Shit, you call him bro? I'm like, Yes, it's my bro.

And now, 6 years old, are you good enough? Do you know what she wants to do in life? Of course not, but... It changes all the time. Yes, yes, it will change, but for now, what does she want to do? She said she wanted to be a singer, she said she wanted to be a cartoonist... Do you draw well? She draws well.

He knows the singers... He knows the artists? Yeah, she does! Oh yeah, fuck! We're not going to go back there! A little disabled singer says, hey bro, calm down! But for now, yeah, she talks about singing, she talks about being a cartoonist.

It's so cute. It's fucking nice, man. I really like seeing your daughter every time. You've been here a couple of times, the kids are so nice. Are they used to your head? When they see me, they give me the bounce. They give you the props. They're like, what's up my nigga? Eddie, Eddie won't prove his lie. No, Eddie won't prove his lie. Eddie, come and unsubscribe, you're a traitor. Hey, Yann, did he get any questions? No, he didn't.

No more questions. Hey, we did a little quiz. We did a little quiz. We did a little quiz. We did a little quiz. We did a little quiz. We did a little quiz. We did a little patriot. Yann, do you have any questions? No, no more questions.

We've been doing this for 2 hours and almost a quarter. Thank you so much guys. Thank you. So go and buy tickets. Voyelles, close your eyes. Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Close your voyelles! Close your voyelles! Close your voyelles!

Ok, to see Jean-Michel, where are we going to buy tickets? The link is on my bio, Instagram. And please, as I told you, buy tickets. So go on Instagram, Jean-Michel Nelly. And to subscribe to your podcast, A podcast is patreon.com, otherwise... Patreon.com slash what? Slash without comment, S-A-N-S-C-O-M-M-E-N-T-A-I-R-E.

Otherwise, I'm shooting with my second show, I'll be out soon. Go to my social networks, Jacob Ospian, Jacob GACOB. Ospian, good luck. Thank you, thank you so much guys, thank you, good luck. Thank you. Thank you so much guys. Thank you for being here. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you guys. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for watching!