Mind of a Serial Killer - Heaven's Gate Pt. 1 with Alexis Linkletter and Jac Vanek

Episode Date: March 23, 2026

In the 1970s, Marshall Applewhite and Bonnie Nettles emerged with a radical message: they were celestial beings sent to guide humanity to the “Next Level.” Over time, their small spiritual study group transformed into Heaven’s Gate — a tightly controlled community built on isolation, strict behavioral codes, and the rejection of earthly identity. In Part 1, Alexis Linkletter and Jac Vanek from The First Degree join Vanessa Richardson and Dr. Engels to help examine how Applewhite’s personal crises, religious fixation, and apocalyptic thinking evolved into a doctrine that demanded total surrender. As members cut ties with family, gave up possessions, and redefined themselves as vessels awaiting ascension, belief slowly became obedience — and obedience became destiny. If you’re new here, don’t forget to follow Serial Killers & Murderous Minds to never miss a case! For ad-free listening and early access to episodes, subscribe to Crime House+ on Apple Podcasts. Serial Killers & Murderous Minds is a Crime House Original Podcast, powered by PAVE Studios 🎧 Need More to Binge?  Listen to other Crime House Originals Clues, Crimes Of…, Murder True Crime Stories, Crime House 24/7, and more wherever you get your podcasts! Follow me on Social Instagram: @Crimehouse TikTok: @Crimehouse Facebook: @crimehousestudios YouTube: @crimehousestudios To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi, it's Vanessa. If you're drawn to true crime stories about disappearances, there's a new crime house original you should check out. It's called The Final Hours, hosted by Sarah Turney and Courtney Nicole. Sarah's an advocate for missing and murdered victims whose own sister disappeared in 2001. And Courtney is a true crime storyteller who's seen firsthand how crime can change a family forever. Together, they bring lived experience to every case, examining the moments just before a person disappears, the routines, the timelines, the small

details that often get overlooked, because every disappearance has a moment where everything still feels normal until it doesn't. Listen to and follow the final hours on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every Monday. This is Crime House. Most of us know what it feels like when something just clicks when a relationship, a belief, or a path forward just feels right. That feeling can be powerful. It can bring clarity, comfort, and peace. But those kinds of convictions can also be dangerous, especially when they go unchallenged. When Marshall Applewhite met Bonnie Lunettles in 1972, they didn't just feel connected. They believed fate had brought them together for a higher purpose.

They used that connection to overcome their doubts and fears and encourage each other's delusion. Together, Marshall and Bonnie built a shared reality that rejected the world around them. But pretty soon, what started as a feeling of destiny eventually led to consequences so extreme, they shattered dozens of lives. And left the rest of the world struggling to understand how it ever got that far. The human mind is powerful. It shapes how we think, feel, love, and hate. But sometimes it drives people to commit the unthinkable. This is serial killers and murderous minds, a crimehouse original.

I'm Vanessa Richardson. And for the next two episodes, Dr. Engels and I are thrilled to welcome two very special guests, Alexis Linkletter and Jack Vannick of the First Degree podcast. Thank you so, so much for having us. We're so excited. So excited to be here. Same here. For everyone listening, if you haven't checked out the first degree, make sure to go follow it now. Vanessa and I love how you talk to people so close to.

connected to these cases. And for me, it's a powerful reminder that these aren't just stories. They're real events that affect real people. Yes, love you guys. For the next two episodes, Jack and Alexis are going to introduce you to our subjects, Marshall Applewhite and Bonnie Lou Nettles, better known as the leaders of the Heaven's Gate cult. Then be sure to stick around at the end of Part 2 for an extended conversation between Dr. Engels, Alexis and Jack, as they talk more about the case. And what makes it so? fascinating. Today, Vanessa and Dr. Engels begin their deep dive into all things Heaven's Gate.

Together, Marshall Applewhite and Bonnie Lunettles reinforced each other's convictions, creating a closed reality that left zero room for doubt or outside influence. As their ideas grew more extreme, they attracted followers who believed they were part of something cosmic and otherworldly. And once that sense of destiny took hold, it set them all on a path that could only end in catastrophe. And you know what? I actually haven't been able to get this case out of my head since it happened almost 30 years

ago. It was the first case that got me into true crime as a whole. I was obsessed when I was like 10 years old. So it is just so crazy the longer that you dive in and really deconstruct it. What do you think, Lex? Yeah, I remember when we first started talking about true crime and realized that like we had that shared passion in common, it was one of the first cases that you brought up to me. that you said that you were just obsessed with it when you were younger and were like doing tons of

research on it. Yeah, it's so funny. I mean, the whole Nike matching outfits, the patches, like just as a 10 year old for some reason, that's what really, I don't know, it connected me to it so much and I am such a branding like obsessor that I'm like, oh, and that's kind of carried on to my life now. But there are so many layers to this case. And as Vanessa is going through the story, Dr. Engels is going to talk to us about things like how some people are drawn together by feelings of fate or destiny and how they can reinforce each other's toxic or delusional beliefs, and also how those beliefs can lead to a gradual detachment from reality. And as always, they'll be asking the question, what makes a killer?

Sometimes the most shocking stories have the most ordinary beginnings. That was certainly the case for the cult known as Heaven's Gate and its leader Marshall Applewhite. Marshall was born in 1932 in the small city of Spur, Texas. He had a typical all-American upbringing, and religion was a very important part of his childhood. His father was a well-known Presbyterian minister in the area, and he encouraged Marshall to live a life of virtue, one that his family and God would be proud of. Marshall was eager to please. Growing up, he attended church regularly and wanted to become a minister just like his father. But while Marshall was a staunch Christian, he was also interested in looking elsewhere for the answers to life's biggest questions.

So when it was time for him to go to college in the late 1940s or early 50s, Marshall decided to study philosophy at Austin College in Sherman, Texas. And he made a splash on campus right away. Classmates remembered Marshall as an extrovert with a magnetic personality, along with joining the Association of Prospective Presbyterian Ministers, Marshall was a talented singer who led the school's acapella group. It seemed like whatever Marshall set his mind to, he would achieve it. And when it was time to graduate in 1952, the 20-year-old decided to follow in his father's footsteps. That year he enrolled at Virginia's Union Theological Seminary. But even though he enjoyed diving deeper into Presbyterian theology,

he still felt like something was missing. So after two years, he decided to be able to be. decided to change course. He dropped out and studied music and voice instead. Marshall had an undeniable gift. For a while, he even dreamed of a career in opera or acting. But life had other plans. Ever since high school, Marshall had been dating a woman named Anne Pierce. She was a fellow Texan who shared Marshall's religious beliefs. And despite being long distance, while Marshall was at seminary school, they both stayed loyal. In 1952, around the same time Marshall dropped out and studied music, he and Anne got married. Before long,

they'd settled down in suburban Houston and had two children. At this point, Marshall knew he'd never be a big star, but he could use his voice to support his family. Soon, he became the choral director at Houston's St. Mark's Episcopal Church, as well as a music professor at the University of St. Thomas, also in Houston. He was good at what he did, but deep down, Marshall was really, restless and unhappy, because there was one thing he'd never told anyone. He was bisexual. From a young age, Marshall had been taught to hide who he was, or face the wrath of people like his father. For decades, he'd succeeded, but it had put a wall between him and those around him. Keeping a core part of your identity secret can create internal conflict, especially when

it clashes with strongly held religious or cultural beliefs that you were raised in. If Marshall's sexuality and his faith were fundamentally at odds, that can cause an identity conflict or cognitive dissonance. And here's how. On one hand, he valued his religious upbringing. It brought him meaning and he likely didn't want to abandon the beliefs, the community, or the structure it provided. Being raised in a specific religion can become a large part of your identity because this is often where you're taught values and narratives and how you're expected to live your life. Like you said, Vanessa, he was taught to live a life of virtue. On the other hand, his sexual identity is also an authentic part of him as well, when he felt he

had to hide because of this. And when two parts of a person or two parts of their lives feel incompatible like this, it can lead to chronic stress, shame, and feeling that they don't fully belong anywhere. And that can create emotional isolation because they may feel that no one truly knows them. In religious contexts where certain identities or orientations are stigmatized, that can be even more intense. They may fear rejection from their faith and community, their family, or even professional circles. Often to cope, many try to reconcile or compartmentalize the conflict, which Marshall seems to be doing here. And that can increase feelings of alienation.

It's a truly distressing experience. Well, by the mid-60s, Marshall did. did feel alienated from his wife and kids and resentful of his quiet suburban life. Eventually, he couldn't repress those feelings anymore, and it would cost him everything. Sometime in 1965, when Marshall was 33, he allegedly had an affair with a male student at the University of St. Thomas. The details are murky, but eventually, Anne found out, she was furious and immediately separated from Marshall. Three years later, in 1968, the couple officially divorced, and Anne got custody of their two children. Shortly after that, in 1970, the university learned about Marshall's rumored relationship with the student, and he was fired.

Feeling lost and alone, Marshall spent two years drifting around the country, searching for his purpose. Because of the Presbyterian Church's stance on sexuality, Marshall no longer felt welcome there. It was a huge blow to his sense of self. For his whole life, Marshall had found meaning and community through his congregation, and he still yearned for that feeling of belonging. But now, he'd have to find it outside of conventional religion. Soon, he found a new sense of spirituality outside of traditional religion, including astrology, science fiction, ancient mysticism, and UFOs. For most of his life, Marshall's identity had been sensitive. centered in the church. And like we discussed, it gave him structure, purpose, belonging, even if it was

conditional, and an idea of who he was supposed to be. So when that was taken and he could no longer compartmentalize, he lost the system that it essentially organized his entire life. So now he's vulnerable. And in that space, alternative ideas like these can become more appealing. These less traditional subjects that he was drawn to offered him the things he just lost, but likely without the conditions. And that's a pattern we see often. When someone feels pushed out of a traditional structure, they don't usually stop searching for belief. Instead, they start looking elsewhere. And belief systems that feel more accepting and less conditional are certainly going to be more attractive to Marshall, especially right now. Do you think it's possible that a search for

belonging could unintentionally deepen someone's isolation from reality? The search for belonging is a very normal human need. When someone feels rejected or unsure of who they are, they naturally look for people or beliefs that make them feel accepted and understood. But the search for connection doesn't usually push someone away from reality in itself. It's the source of that connection, because not all groups are safe. So, for example, if a group starts to frame an outside world as ignorant or dangerous and they're attracted to that, then over time their social circle and the sources of the information that they're getting become more limited. So inside, that doesn't feel like isolation, but from the outside it is. And it could also be indoctrination. Closed belief systems

can gradually narrow reality and it can distance them from other perspectives. That's when it becomes more dangerous and that can become more of an isolation for reality. Well, even though his spirituality was tipping into the fringes and leaving the traditional religion, Marshall still tried to lead a normal life. While exploring these new ideas, he supported himself by dabbling in small ventures. At some point, he even ran a sandwich shop in New Mexico, but nothing seemed to stick. So in 1972, 40-year-old Marshall returned to Houston. He was looking for a fresh start, and that included someone to build his life with, because despite his newfound interests, he still felt.

felt very much alone. Marshall had no partner and no relationship with his two children, 15-year-old Mark and 13-year-old Lane. Even worse, his own father didn't want anything to do with him. It seemed like Marshall would never feel whole again. And then he met Bonnie Lou Nettles. On the surface, Bonnie's origins were just as ordinary as Marshalls. Born in Houston in 1927, she was the second of three children in a working-class Baptist family. She married young, built a life as a nurse, and raised four children in the suburbs. But as the years went by, she felt increasingly out of place in the tidy routines of family life. Like Marshall, Bonnie felt like an outsider.

Her daughter described her as someone who never really fit into society. She'd been raised in the Baptist Church, but she'd never felt particularly connected to the religion. Bonnie was more of a dreamer. She liked to stare at the night sky and pretend a you have to be. would take her away. So it wasn't a surprise that she'd turned to New Age spirituality for answers. She explored astrology, theosophy, and fringe ideas about life and the universe. Her nights were filled with study groups and seances, which often left her straight-laced husband, bewildered. For example, she once told him that she was getting life advice from a dead monk named

Brother Francis. She also claimed she'd made contact with the deceased Hollywood icon, Marilyn Monroe, as well as aliens from the planet Venus. Before we get into Bonnie specifically, I think it's important to say that an interest in things like astrology, extraterrestrials, or other spiritual ideas is very common. Many people explore those topics out of curiosity, personal meaning, or just wanting to understand them or the universe. On its own, that doesn't indicate anything pathological or even alarming. Humans have always tried to make sense of their lives through belief systems, whether those are traditional religions or more alternative spiritual ideas. The difference shows up in how much the belief starts to shape a person's life.

Many people might visit a psychic during a stressful time, but they still make their own decisions. They keep their jobs, maintain relationships, and stay grounded in day-to-day responsibilities. The belief is just one part of the world. It should not be the center of it. It becomes more concerning when the guidance starts to take over. If someone begins to believe they have a special line of communication that others don't, or they start making major life decisions based entirely on those messages, that's where there may be, and I say may, may be reason for concern, especially if those choices begin to cause real problems in their functioning, whether it's financial, legal, or relational. In those cases, relationships, responsibilities, and outside

perspectives can start to matter less because the supernatural guidance or paranormal guidance they're getting feels more real or more important to them. And for someone like Bonnie, who already feels so disconnected from everything, that can feel like a very powerful sense of certainty because it offers direction, purpose, and maybe feeling chosen special some way. And for someone like Bonnie who never felt really comfortable or at home in conventional roles or traditional religion, those beliefs probably offered a clear sense of meaning to her than the life she was feeling stuck in. Do you think this kind of belief or these kinds of beliefs could make a person more open to influence from others who share similar views? Yeah, it can, especially if the person already feels isolated or insure of their direction.

meeting someone who shares the same deeply held beliefs can be validating, of course, but it's also like an instant connection. Having shared beliefs can make a relationship feel more meaningful or trustworthy. And that can make someone more receptive to other people's ideas, not necessarily because, you know, they're easily influenced, but because the beliefs reinforce each other and it strengthens the sense of shared purpose. There's also potential biases, like a confirmation bias, that strengthen that influence as well. Once a particular belief is adopted and strongly adopted, they naturally are going to pay attention more to information or people that support that same belief and filter out other things.

Bonnie knew there was more out there for her. And by 1972, it was clear that she and her husband weren't a good fit. It's possible the last straw for Bonnie's husband was when she took one of their daughters outside to look at the night sky and muse about a flying saucer coming to take them away. Despite how disconnected she felt from her life, this period of time was still hard for Bonnie.

Her marriage was failing, and her future felt uncertain. But there was one thing keeping her going. A fortune teller had predicted a tall, fair-skinned man would one day change her life. That person came in the form of Marshall Applewhite. Once the pair met, Bonnie and Marshall began blending their ideologies, then deepening them. And once that happened, their worlds and the lives of many others changed forever.

By 1972, 40-year-old Marshall Applewhite and 45-year-old Bonnie Lou Nettles both felt out of place in their own lives. But when the two lost souls met for the first time, they became convinced their connection was more than coincidence. It was destiny. There are a few different versions of how Bonnie and Marshall met. We know it happened at the Houston Hospital where Bonnie worked, but it's not clear how Marshall ended up there. Some say he was just visiting a friend, others say he had a brush with death, or that he'd suffered a mental breakdown. According to at least one source, Marshall had been admitted to the psychiatric unit for symptoms of depression and hearing voices.

It's too bad that's not verified because that would be very useful information to have for this analysis. Either way, as soon as Bonnie and Marshall locked eyes, the connection was instant. They felt like they'd known each other forever, which is probably why Marshall felt so comfortable telling Bonnie something that so far he'd only admitted to one other friend. He explained that he'd been visited by a presence that had, quote, given him all the knowledge of where the human race had come from and where it was going, end quote. Just like Marshall had expected, Bonnie wasn't phased at all. In fact, as he went on to describe other visions and out-of-body experiences,

Bonnie said she could help him sort through all the noise. She offered to read Marshall's astrological chart. Marshall was so excited, he immediately ran out to his car to grab his birth certificate, which Bonnie needed to see in order to read his chart correct. It was the first time they'd ever met, and to Marshall, the whole thing was worth it, because according to Bonnie's reading, she and Marshall had known each other in a previous life, and they'd been brought back together to perform a, quote, great task. Symbolic systems like astrology tend to become especially appealing during periods of uncertainty or emotional distress.

when someone feels lost, rejected, or unsure in general about the direction of their life, they often start looking for something that can offer them hope, meaning, or reassurance. Astrology provides that in a very accessible way. It offers clear explanations about personality, relationships, and life events. It can frame certain struggles as part of a larger pattern rather than random or meaningless setbacks. For someone going through a difficult transition, that can be comforting and even stabilizing. It also removes some of the pressure that uncertainty brings in a period like this.

So instead of feeling like they have no direction, they may start to believe, okay, now there's a plan, a purpose, or even a destiny that's guiding them. So it's really about what the system provides. And when you're in a period of vulnerability, beliefs that offer clarity, identity, or direction can feel convincing because they help organize confusing or painful experiences into a story that makes sense. And I think everyone can relate to this because maybe not with astrology specifically, but maybe with other symbolic systems like tarot or numerology or even the law of attraction. What psychological impact can occur when someone makes major life decisions based on perceived

signs or fate? It can shift their sense of control. Instead of weighing, weighing options seeking advice or considering consequences, they may begin to rely on those signs as their primary source or their primary guide. That can feel reassuring at first, like for all the reasons we talked about, it reduces uncertainty. It gives decisions meaning or destiny, but that can affect independent decision-making. And it can make someone feel more vulnerable to risky choices, especially if those decisions start to harm their relationships or their finances and overall stability. I mean, Bonnie's a great example. She left her husband and her children and look where she is, right? So that's an example of those risky choices. To Marshall, the reading made perfect sense.

Suddenly, he understood why he'd felt so lost the last few years. It was because he was searching for Bonnie. And now that they'd found one another, they couldn't waste another second. Within months, Bonnie and Marshall opened a spiritual center in Houston. They sold New Age books and held classes on meditation, astrology, and healing. Even though Bonnie and Marshall abandoned their entire lives to be together, they were never involved romantically. And they seemed to prefer it that way, especially Marshall. He'd had a few relationships after his divorce with both men and women. He'd even been engaged once, but nothing ever worked out. Marshall always felt stifled by romantic relationships and that they were doomed to fail. However, his relationship with Bonnie was different. Even though they weren't physically

attracted to each other, what they had was more intense than a simple friendship. They believed they were cosmically linked and nothing could tear them apart, not even financial failure. It turned out the center wasn't their great task. They didn't have many customers and after just a few months they had to shutter the doors. But rather than question their path, Bonnie and Marshall interpreted the failure as a sign. Their true purpose, they believed, lay elsewhere. Bonnie and Marshall took their teachings out of the city and into rural Texas, where they opened a spiritual wellness retreat called No Place, spelled K-N-O-W. There, in relative isolation, their ideas intensified. They studied scripture, mysticism, and theories about the end of the world. Slowly, they came to believe

If they weren't just spiritual seekers, they were chosen. In July 1973, Bonnie and Marshall had a revelation. They weren't just two middle-aged Texans searching for meaning. They were the two witnesses from the Book of Revelation destined to guide humanity into a higher realm of existence. It sounds like they were already operating in a fairly closed system of their own. By what you described, their living. and working together. They're studying the same materials, new age materials, and they're reinforcing

the same beliefs without any kind of outside input or anyone else challenging that. When two people are that isolated and share a strong emotional and ideological bond, their ideas are going to naturally start to intensify and become more certain over time. Individually, both Bonnie and Marshall had histories of feeling out of place in their ordinary lives. They were both searching for meaning, direction, and belonging. So a belief that they were chosen for a divine role would have given them a powerful new identity. That right there gives their past struggles purpose as a unit that strengthens them even more, which is evident by how they named themselves, the two witnesses. They gave themselves a unified identity. That indicates to me that they viewed their relationship

as sacred and irreplaceable. That is a very rigid psychological alliance. How do you begin to doubt that when now questioning the belief would also mean questioning the relationship and the purpose they share? It's concerning. Well, as soon as Bonnie and Marshall had that epiphany,

they abandoned the wellness retreat and traveled the country. And this is only going to intensify their ideological connection because they're further isolating themselves from outside perspective. that might challenge those beliefs that they have. Absolutely.

And at first, their purpose was hazy. They drove aimlessly through small towns and camped under the stars. They lived on the edge of poverty, surviving on odd jobs, donations from friends, and occasionally selling their blood at donation centers. Throughout it all, they continued to develop their spiritual vision, and it became increasingly dark. Bonnie and Marshall believed the Earth was on the brink of destruction

If someone wanted to be saved, they needed to leave all of their human attachments behind. Marriage, family, possessions, everything tying a person to this world had to be severed. And in their eyes, they were already on the path to full salvation. Bonnie and Marshall believed in a heavenly realm known as level above human, which, according to them, was accessible only to those willing to undergo total transformation. They not only believed this realm existed, but that they were from there and had been sent as messengers to guide others back. They believed their job was to help people transform. This was both a spiritual and a physical process, a literal change that would come over those who followed their teachings.

Like in the biblical book of Revelation, Bonnie and Marshall thought a rapture was coming, and only the faithful would be swept up to heaven. But there was a major difference in their belief system, too. According to them, heaven was a real physical place they'd travel to. And their mode of transportation would be a UFO. So they're starting to do some blending. They're blending traditional religious ideas with supernatural, and that can make extreme beliefs feel logical, because traditional religion already provided them a familiar structure,

especially if they've been raised in it. For example, concepts like salvation, prophecy, chosen members, or end of times are ideas that are recognizable or accepted, not just within their faith-based communities, but maybe even in their homes growing up as well. So blending these supernatural elements into that is like reinterpreting that same framework to create coherence. It allows people like Marshall and Bonnie to feel like they're not abandoning the tradition they were raised on, but they're doing it in a way that feels credible to them now, a way that can allow them to maybe even recruit others in the process. What psychological needs might be fulfilled by believing transformation and salvation

are actually physically attainable? I think it can meet several. I mean, first it offers control. If it's framed as something concrete and achievable through specific actions, it gives people structure, clear directions, and a path. That reduces uncertainty, which we talked about, is one of the more desirable aspects of this. Second, it offers hope that feels tangible. In this case, Marshall and Bonnie have both been dissatisfied with their lives, feeling out of place, and this belief offers them the hope of a new body and a new identity, which is a complete reset. A total solution is what that is to, you know, everything that's been keeping them unhappy and dissatisfied. And I think also it can soothe fear, especially fear of death or fear of insignificance,

which is something that I think many people experience. The promise that there is another level, something that comes after, can stabilize that and restore any feelings of powerlessness. I think those are the things that can fulfill psychologically. Well, Bonnie and Marshall quickly realized their message wasn't an easy sell, especially the part about being beamed up to heaven in a UFO. The two, as Marshall and Bonnie started calling themselves, tried reaching out to churches and bookstores around the country.

They pitched their ideas to anyone who would listen. Most people dismissed them as harmless eccentrics. The constant rejection wore on them. But they were determined. Finally, in May 1974, after almost a year, year of outreach, Bonnie and Marshall got their first recruit. Now, they didn't just believe their ideas. They were living them. Pretty soon, their actions would push them further into the societal fringes and onto the wrong side of the law. At Medcan, we know that life's greatest

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Medcan. Live well for life. Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. When a birthday party in suburban San Jose turns deadly, 18-year-old identical twins are a arrested for suspected murder. One of them spends nearly two years in jail before the truth comes out. Authorities locked up the wrong twin. How could one brother let his twin take the fall?

And why would the other give up his freedom for a crime he didn't commit? Blood Will Tell is a modern-day Shakespearean saga about what we're willing to sacrifice for the people we love, and whether our most tragic, mistakes are worthy of redemption. Listen to Blood Will Tell, a new series from Audible and Campside Media, wherever you get your podcasts. In the spring of 1974, 42-year-old Marshall Applewhite and 47-year-old Bonnie Lou Nettles had been on their shared spiritual journey for about a year. They called themselves The Two and believed they were sent from a cosmic, heavenly realm to spread their message and guide others to salvation.

That year, they found their first follower, a woman named Sharon. We don't know much about Sharon or how old she was, but at the time she was married with several young kids, and she'd been feeling unhappy in her relationship for a while. She'd first met Bonnie and Marshall at their old bookstore in Houston, and she reconnected with them when they returned to the city to preach their gospel there. When Sharon heard Bonnie and Marshall's message, it immediately resonated with her. Sharon was seeking a higher truth, something to give her life greater meaning. And before long, she abandoned her family to join Bonnie and Marshall in their travels around the U.S.

There's a pattern emerging here, first Marshall, then Bonnie and now Sharon. They all described feeling unsettled in their lives. They were dissatisfied, disconnected, searching for more. All three of them are now drawn to the same beliefs. And like we talked about, when someone has been living in a state of restlessness, like that for a prolonged period of time, people become more receptive to messages that offer comfort and direction. And from the inside, these decisions rarely feel extreme. They can feel like alignment, like they're finally moving towards something that makes sense and with people who accept them.

What are the psychological risks of making a drastic life choice during periods of emotional vulnerability like that? Such a great question. When someone is experiencing significant emotional distress or in a lot of vulnerability, the brain prioritizes immediate relief. And that unfortunately overrides judgment. And with that comes risks like impulsivity. For example, a major life decision like Sharon's choice to abandon her family, much like Bonnie's and Marshalls, may be driven more by emotional impulse and intensity. The difficulty is that once those emotions stabilize and clarity returns if it does, the consequences of those decisions may not be easily reversible, especially if there's regret there, meaning sometimes families won't accept that back or won't

be able to forgive. So another risk is over reliance on a single person or belief system. So if someone is particularly vulnerable, they may attach strongly to whatever or whoever offers them that certainty or reassurance. That can increase more susceptibility. to influence, and it can reduce critical thinking. And there's also the risk of, you know, identity disturbance. When a belief system requires that someone completely resets or isolates from all of their loved ones, and if that doesn't meet expectations, once they do that, that can result in further instability rather than resolution.

Sharon seemed to find her footing pretty quickly. She took on the role of publicist arranging speaking. events for Bonnie and Marshall and gathering crowds ahead of their arrival. This went on for about four months. Then Sharon had a change of heart. She still believed in Bonnie and Marshall, but the guilt she felt over leaving her children behind was unbearable. In the early fall of 1974, Sharon returned home, but it wasn't the happy reunion she'd been hoping for. When she got back, her husband learned that Sharon had let Bonnie and Marshall use her credit card. he contacted the police and accused them of fraud.

That fall, officers arrested both of them. And although Sharon's husband soon dropped the charges and Bonnie went free, Marshall wasn't clear just yet, because while in custody, authorities discovered he had an outstanding warrant against him for stealing a rental car in Missouri. Marshall not only admitted to stealing the car, he said he did it because he was on a godly mission, and therefore human laws did not.

not apply to him. Of course, this defense didn't hold up in court, and Marshall spent the next six months in jail. But he used the time behind bars to perfect his and Bonnie's new religion. There, he also had a shocking epiphany. He and Bonnie hadn't just been chosen because they were the two. They were chosen because they were not human. In fact, they were aliens, and they'd been sent to earth to help their followers transform into perfected beings like them. Marshall thought he and Bonnie were modern-day prophets who came from a long line of earlier messengers, including Jesus, Ezekiel and Elijah, who he believed were all extraterrestrial beings. He believed they'd one day be killed by their enemies before rising from the dead and

transforming into perfect immortal aliens. At that point, their most loyal followers, would also become aliens, and they would all be carried away to their home realm in a UFO. You know, what stands out to me about this is the shift from seeing themselves as messengers to seeing themselves as aliens. For a long time, both of them described feeling out of place, like we talked about. They were out of place in their families and their careers, and even in traditional religion. They felt different. They felt like outsiders. And now they are quite literally labeling themselves as that. And with that is another reframing. They're not just people who felt like they didn't belong. They believe they were never meant to belong here at all. That shift is

significant. And I think it's also important to consider their mental health functioning leaning up to this. Aside from what we know about Marshall that's not verified, chronic emptiness or dissatisfaction can lead to depression and severe depression can cause psychotic symptoms as well. I don't know for certain if psychosis is happening. I mean, we can't know for certain because they're not here to ask. But there is a striking lack of insight when Marshall speaks to law enforcement. That could reflect the rigid thinking that we would expect to see develop within a closed belief system, but it also raises questions about mood disturbance, possible thought disturbance, or impaired reality testing. Without Marshall or Bonnie, again,

there's no way to tell for sure. But what because? becomes clinically relevant here is the escalation. The shift suggests increasing rigidity in their thinking and expansion of the belief system, which historically makes it harder to challenge for them internally. How can conviction or certainty make someone appear credible to others? People tend to mistake confidence for accuracy and authority. Even if the claim itself hasn't been verified, the delivery of it can make it sound legitimate. We see this happen on a lot of large scale all the time, especially on like social media with posts that say breaking news and like a meme. If it sounds confident, people tend to believe it even if the source isn't verified or the

image posted hasn't even been confirmed to be real or not altered. Also, if someone is feeling uncertain or dissatisfied in their own life, a person who appears confident can feel reassuring and that can be persuasive. That consistency in confidence can create the impression of authority because they're presented as fact rather than something that's open to questioning. And when you think about it, that's how indoctrination happens. Information is presented as absolute fact and it isn't open to questioning. And also like I mentioned before, they were blending traditional religious concepts with supernatural. So they were linking or anchoring these concepts together to make them more believable because these religious concepts were already widely accepted.

So outsiders are more likely to at least listen when that was happening. Marshall took off with his newfound ideology as soon as possible. A month after he was released in April 1975, he and Bonnie penned a declaration of their ideologies and mailed it out to New Age spiritual groups nationwide. Only a few responded, and one of them completely altered the course of Bonnie and Marshall's journey. The group was based in Los Angeles. Many people there were already interested in New Age philosophies and the occult. It was exactly the kind of receptive audience Bonnie and Marshall had been looking for.

So in May of that year, they traveled to California. They arrived at the gathering with matching short haircuts and track suits. Then they laid out their message and invited members of the group to follow them. Their only requirement was that anyone who joined them had to give up their entire lives, their jobs, personal possessions, families, everything. Their convictions were obvious to everyone in the room. After that meeting, somewhere between 23 to 27 people were convinced that the end of the world was near, and they walked out on their lives to join the wandering duo. In September, another meeting in Oregon brought them an additional 20 to 33 followers, which brought their numbers

up to about 60. The new recruits were a mix of ages and backgrounds. Among them were disillusioned young adults searching for deeper meaning, professionals burned out by conventional life, and free spirits looking for adventure. But they were all united by the same thing, a willingness to make radical sacrifices in the name of transcendence. As for Bonnie and Marshall, they now had a flock, which they were now calling human individual metamorphosis. and they quickly adopted new names, Bo and Peep, underscoring their role as shepherds guiding their followers,

who they called the sheep. Still, despite their growing numbers, the group remained unstable and disorganized. Marshall and Bonnie often struggled to feed and house everyone. They lived communally in makeshift camps around the country and shared what little they had. On top of that, Bonnie and Marshall instituted strict guidelines for their followers. They weren't allowed to have idle conversations, drink, do any form of drugs, or have sex.

The two explained that banning these things was necessary to begin the process of severing physical attachments. That way they would be prepared to start the chemical and biological transformation into their new extraterrestrial bodies. As part of that process, Bonnie and Marshall split the movement into groups of two. Members were paired with another check partner to help them overcome their human attachments, especially their attachment to sex. Heterosexual men and women were paired together. Gay men were paired with other gay men, and lesbian women were paired with other lesbian women. This was intentional on Bonnie and Marshall's part.

They wanted their followers to feel sexually attracted to one another. The key was to fight off any urges that might arise. If you succeeded, you were one step. closer to transcending. When leaders begin tightly controlling behavior like this, it often strengthens commitment because the more rules someone follows, the more invested they become. Sacrifice creates psychological buy-in. The more someone gives up, the harder it becomes to walk away.

It functions like a sunk cost effect. This is also a loyalty test. Behavioral control also reduces outside influence. So if members aren't drinking socializing freely or engaging with people outside of the group, their world becomes smaller and more isolated. That allows the leader and the belief system to occupy more of their world. That increases dependence on the leader or leaders, which is a common feature of high control groups or cults. Sexual regulation is a particularly powerful tool because sexuality is closely tied to identity.

and attachment and autonomy. So when a group dictates how, when, or whether someone can express sexual attraction, that's essentially reshaping someone's self-concept. The pairing like this was a psychological test. Desire became something that they had to overcome, and it's worth noting that this almost mirrors Marshall's own lived experience. He had to suppress same-sex attraction in order to maintain, his standing within his religious and professional life. That personal history may have influenced

how sexual restraint was framed within the group's teachings as well. That said, they are attempting to create a shared struggle within the group and boundaries as well to maintain allegiance within the system. Other cult leaders like Charles Manson also manipulated sexual access to consolidate power. Sexual control is very powerful to powerful leverage. And I think Marshall knew this from personal experience. Once someone accepts limits on what they cannot do, like his followers decided, you know, they accepted that they couldn't have sex, they couldn't do drugs, they couldn't do anything, then does it become easier for someone to guide what they will do? Absolutely. It can because it narrows their behavioral range. So after a

prolonged period of time, that can shift their sense of autonomy. So if the grid, defines the boundaries, members begin to look to the same source of authority for direction about what they should do. When there is restriction socially, behaviorally, or psychologically can become easier than for a leader to guide them, guide their actions, their beliefs, and their identity in whatever desired direction they want. Once everyone was paired off, Bonnie and Marshall gave them their first assignment to find more members. Partners would travel the country together, working through their desires and seeking out converts. Occasionally, they would meet back up with the group at different campgrounds,

but in the days before cell phones, communicating wasn't so easy. Members would send each other letters or use short-term PO boxes to figure out where they were meeting next, but mostly each set of partners went wherever they felt called to go. It's not surprising that this caused some issues. At one point in late 1975 or early 76, two members got lost and couldn't find the rest of the group. They resorted to giving an interview to reporters in the hopes that Bonnie and Marshall would see it and come find them. It's not clear if that ever happened, but by April 1976, 49-year-old Bonnie and 44-year-old Marshall realized their organization would never survive if they couldn't get organized. So they stopped traveling and settled down in a remote. corner of Wyoming.

Pretty soon, though, Bonnie and Marshall would learn a harsh lesson, that there was no such thing as total control, and when a grim reality caught them by surprise, the two fell deeper into their dark fantasies. Thanks so much for listening. We'll be back next time as we discuss the minds of Bonnie Lou Nettles and Marshall Applewhite with Alexis Linkletter and Jack Vannock of the First Degree Podcast. Serial Killers and Murderous Minds is a Crimehouse original powered by Pave Studios. Here at Crime House, we want to thank each and every one of you for your support.

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