Mind of a Serial Killer - MURDEROUS MINDS: Oscar Pistorius Pt. 1

Episode Date: March 31, 2025

In 2012, Oscar Pistorius became a household name after becoming the first double-amputee Olympic runner. But just a few months later, the man known as the "Blade Runner" made headlines for another reason. Because on Valentine's Day, 2013, Oscar's girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp was found dead... and Oscar had shot her. Killer Minds is a Crime House Original. Follow us on social media, @crimehouse for more true crime content. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is Crime House. When the first Olympic Games were held in 776 BCE, they were intended for the most vigorous athletes in Greece. Participants were hailed as heroes, living gods. But in 2012, one man changed the definition of what it meant to be an Olympic athlete. His name was Oscar Pistorius. While Oscar didn't walk away with a medal, he was seen as a modern icon for being the first double-leg amputee runner to compete in the Olympics. He gave hope to those who never dared to dream.

But behind his unwavering ambition and athletic prowess, Oscar Pistorius harbored a lot of darkness. And when a tragic accident took his girlfriend's life, many of those secrets rose to the surface, leaving people to wonder if it was really an accident or murder. The human mind is fascinating. It controls how we think, how we feel, how we love, and how we hate. And sometimes the mind drives us to do something truly unspeakable. This is Killer Minds, formerly known as Mind of a Serial Killer, a Crime House original.

Every Monday and Thursday, we'll be taking deep dives into the minds of history's most notorious serial killers and murderers. The show is still the same, the name just changed. And if you're interested in more true crime stories from this week in history, check out Crime House The Show. Every episode covers multiple cases, unified by the same theme. So every week you get something a little different. At Crime House, we want to express our gratitude to you, our community, for making this possible. Please support us by rating, reviewing, and following Killer Minds wherever you get your podcasts. Your feedback truly matters. And to enhance your killer minds listening experience, subscribe to Crime House Plus on Apple podcasts. You'll get every episode

ad free and instead of having to wait for each episode of a two part series, you'll get access to both at once plus exciting Crime House bonus content. I'm Vanessa Richardson. And I'm Dr. Tristan Engels. As Vanessa takes you through our subject stories, I'll be helping her analyze what drove them to commit their crimes, as we try to understand how someone can do such horrible things.

This is the first of two episodes about former track star Oscar Pistorius. In 2012, Oscar became the first double-leg amputee runner to compete in the Olympics. With the help of his charming good looks, Oscar quickly rose to fame, only to swiftly fall from grace when his girlfriend, Riva Steenkamp, was shot dead in his own home, and Oscar had fired the gun. In today's episode, we'll explore the challenges Oscar overcame in his early years to land a spot in the 2012 Olympic

Games, then we'll follow his rise to fame and the murder that changed Oscar's legacy forever. And I'll hop in to discuss things like how Oscar's disability may have affected his upbringing and his path to success, how his success might have played into some of Oscar's deepest fears, and how someone of his nature might act in a moment of panic. Next time, we'll dig deeper into the secret life of Oscar Pistorius, we'll dig into his claims that Riva's death was an accident, and we'll look closer at Oscar's past to see if the demons he battled

might have played a role. And as always, we'll be asking the question, what makes a killer? Fame changes people. It alters the way they think, the way they act. It leaves some people feeling invincible and others more vulnerable. And it almost always comes with a price. But fame wasn't written in the stars for Oscar Pistorius. Quite the opposite, actually. Heius, quite the opposite actually. He was an underdog from birth.

Oscar came into the world on November 22, 1986, in the city of Johannesburg, South Africa. He was born with a congenital defect, one that left him without his fibula bones in the bottom half of his legs. So at 11 months old, Oscar's parents, Hank and Sheila, had to make a heart-wrenching decision about their son's future, and they believed it would be best for Oscar if they had both of his legs amputated from the calf down. As difficult as that process must have been, Hank and Sheila knew this was the best way for Oscar to live a normal life. And they were right. By his second birthday, Oscar was learning how to walk with prosthetic legs. Let's talk about the effects this might have had on Oscar as a child.

A lot of people have heard of the term inferiority complex, but few know about its origin. So just to let everyone know, an inferiority complex is essentially a persistent sense of inadequacy or inferiority stemming from childhood experiences. And this will motivate a child to strive for superiority and compensate for their own perceived shortcomings. This term was identified by Austrian psychotherapist and physician Alfred Adler. Adler was the founder of individual psychology, and he is known for the birth order theory, which we've talked about in mind of a serial killer, actually, as well as Adlerian play therapy.

Adler suffered from his own childhood disability, something called rickets, which is a disease that causes bone deficiency and one that significantly impaired his own ability to walk during his early years, much like Oscar. And his own childhood disability inspired not only his career, but also the concept of the inferiority complex. So Adler, from personal experience and through his own research,

recognized that everyone on some level will experience an inferiority complex. However, when you add in a physical disability like his or like Oscar's, those children tend to feel it more intensely as they are often seen as or feel physically different or less capable than others. And unfortunately, the people around them tend to treat them differently, whether they realize it or not, which magnifies those feelings of inadequacy.

And this is why inclusivity is prioritized in schools for children with physical or emotional or learning disabilities Because differential treatment can really impact their self-esteem and their confidence Would kids at that age notice their differences from other kids? Are there any long-lasting psychological repercussions to something like that? Oscar is too young right now to not only recognize his physical differences, but also he doesn't have the cognitive ability to understand any sense of inadequacy. But when he does get to be around the age of four, he will start to have those realizations.

It is expected, based on Adler's theory, that Oscar will likely overcompensate for his perceived inadequacies, and typically children with physical disabilities tend to lean to overcompensate by excelling academically or socially, whereas Oscar, as we will learn, he overcompensates with excelling physically. In regarding psychological repercussions, children with physical disabilities are at an increased risk of peer rejection, neglect, social isolation, low self-esteem, poor confidence, anxiety, and depression. Well, regardless of whether Oscar noticed his differences that young, he never let them

stand in his way. And that mostly came at the encouragement of his mother, Sheila. She made sure Oscar was treated exactly like his two other siblings, insisting there was no such thing as disability in their house. As she told the kids each morning, quote, Carl, you put on your shoes and Oscar, you go put on your legs. It was that sort of thing that made Oscar push himself beyond his limits. And soon he wasn't just exceeding expectations around the home, he was changing the minds of his peers, too. By his teens, Oscar had transitioned to a pair of lighter prosthetics, and for the first time in his life, sports became a possibility. Always eager to outperform, Oscar joined the water polo team and the rugby team, and he

gained a newfound confidence because of it. But this new high Oscar was riding? Well, it was about to be usurped by a series of unexpected events. By 2002, when Oscar was 15, things had already been challenging for the Pistorius family. Sheila and Hank had divorced a few years prior, forcing the three kids and Sheila into a smaller house. In his father's absence, Oscar distracted himself with sports, but things at home took a turn for the worse when Sheila was diagnosed with hepatitis. Doctors tried to treat her condition, but she reacted

adversely to the medication, and doctors later found they had misdiagnosed her hepatitis altogether. By that point, though, it was too late. The wrong medication had done too much damage. Only weeks after first falling ill, Sheila passed away on March 6, 2002. Oscar seemed to take it the hardest. To drown out the pain, Oscar buried himself deeper in sports,

but he pushed himself a little too far. The following year in 2003, Oscar injured his knee while playing rugby, which meant Oscar's one escape had been taken from him. And suddenly he felt as though he was left with nothing. So let's discuss the effects of these series of rather traumatic events. Divorce can be traumatic for children.

And while Oscar is trying to adjust to the changes that divorce brought to him and his family, he loses his mother quickly and unexpectedly. And in what you shared about his mother, she seemed very loving, nurturing, and supportive. And it sounds like she was an advocate for Oscar and wanted to ensure there was no preferential or differential treatment in the home, which is critical in helping Oscar to build and maintain confidence and hope and empowerment. At least that's certainly how it seems. This might have been to his detriment, and I'll touch on that as we progress through

the story. His involvement in sports seems to have been a big part of his identity and perhaps was even a healthy coping mechanism or outlet for him. An outlet he definitely needed in the aftermath of such a loss and of the divorce. It is almost as if he lost two core parts of who he is and who he was becoming in a very short time frame. And if this involvement in sports was really his way of overcompensating for feelings of inferiority, then I'd imagine that this would create a lot of anger or identity confusion, resentment, and depression, especially if he thought that this was permanent.

Well, ultimately, Oscar realized his injury was actually a blessing in disguise. During his recovery, Oscar found himself in the hands of the same doctors who'd helped him 16 years earlier when he first got his amputation surgery. Only this time, during his physical therapy, one of them proposed something to Oscar, something that would change his life as he knew it. They suggested he take up running to get his knee back into fighting shape. Oscar accepted the challenge, and just a few weeks later, by the end of January 2004, the 17-year-old ran his first 100-meter race. With his father Hank watching from the stands, Oscar smoked his opponents. Not only did he win the race, he broke a record, finishing

in 11.72 seconds, faster than any double amputee had before. Now, instead of returning to the rugby team, Oscar took up running full time. There was just one problem. His prosthetic legs. They were wooden, primitive, maybe OK for high school sports. But Oscar was now in the big leagues. Plus, he was starting to train for the Paralympic Games eight months later. So that same year, in 2004, Oscar was referred to an innovative

company in Iceland. There, they designed custom prosthetics for the 17-year-old Oscar, state-of-the-art carbon fiber blades known as cheetahs. And when he stepped onto the track in Greece that September, he caught everyone's eye. From that day on, Oscar Pistorius was known as the Blade Runner. Not only did Oscar Pistorius win the gold medal for the 200 meter event in the Paralympic Games in 2004. He took the bronze home in the 100 meter race as well. And he continued competing in different races over the next several years.

Meanwhile, Oscar juggled school alongside it. In 2006, when he was 19, he enrolled at the University of Pretoria outside of Johannesburg, South Africa to study business management. But that didn't last long. Eventually, Oscar put his studies aside to compete in non-disabled races as well. In 2007, Oscar finished second in a 400-meter race in Rome, Italy, and the International Association of Athletics Foundation, a governing body that regulates track and field globally,

took notice of Oscar. Though not in a good way. They asked Oscar to compete in a series of rigorous tests alongside six other non-disabled athletes at the German Sport University in Cologne, Germany. The objective? To determine whether Oskar's blades gave him an unfair advantage over his non-disabled opponents.

The tests included everything from running on an outdoor and an indoor track, to riding on a stationary bike, to measuring his blood and scanning his body for specific data points. In the end, they said Oscar's prosthetics allowed him to expend less energy than his competitors, therefore allowing him to maintain his speed longer and more consistently, meaning they believed Oscar did have an unfair advantage, and therefore was no longer allowed to compete in non-disabled competitions. But Oscar refused to accept that. Okay, so I can certainly touch on the psychological impact of this on a surface level, but someone

in the disability community would really be able to speak to the impact of this on a deeper level. But Oscar spent his life trying to have the same advantages as able-bodied people. And he not only achieves that, but he excels, only to be questioned about whether or not he has an unfair advantage. This could feel like a constant form of discrimination

that Oscar feels he has little control over. Not to mention the way that they scrutinized his body, that was very invasive, and it's probably a feeling that he's felt for most of his life. If we approach this scenario from a conflict standpoint, it would likely feel like a lose-lose conflict. Like no matter what he does, there's always some form of criticism.

So what we know about the resolution of a lose-lose conflict is that most people approach them with a lot of ambivalence and uncertainty, but once they decide which route to take, they are deeply invested. They are all in on that decision as it fits its own form of cognitive dissonance. In this case, Oscar has beliefs about himself that are being contradicted by society, so it would make sense that in order to resolve that discomfort, he will stand firm on his beliefs until they're no longer being contradicted.

Of course, this is also an example of his tenacity and speaks a lot to his personality. Well, Oscar definitely stood his ground. He hired a lawyer and appealed the decision in the Court of Arbitration for sport. And he won. Later that summer, in 2008, Oscar took the competition back to the track, specifically the Beijing Paralympics in China. There he broke a world record for his class, completing the 400-meter race in 47.49 seconds. He also won gold in the 100-meter and 200-meter dashes. And after this series

of wins, Oscar felt unstoppable. He wanted to be challenged even further. The words of his late mother, Sheila, rang through his head, quote, The real loser is never the person who crosses the finish line last. The real loser is the person who sits on the side, the person who doesn't even try to compete. Which is why Oscar decided it was time to start training for the regular Olympics. And in 2012, he finally earned a spot on the South African team. That summer, he'd be heading to the London Games

as the first ever double amputee runner to compete. But that wasn't the only monumental thing coming Oscar's way. That year, he'd also meet someone very important, someone most people thought he'd spend forever with. But in this case, forever would only last a couple of months before Oscar's entire world came to a screeching halt. On August 4, 2012, Oscar Pistorius took to the starting blocks of the London Olympic Games. His first event was a preliminary heat in the 400-metre race against five other athletes.

As the pistol was fired, the Blade Runner took off with the rigor and stamina he was known for. The crowds in London cheered Oscar's name so loud, you would have thought he was competing for the home team. And he made many of those onlookers, including his nation of South Africa, proud. That day, he finished second, advancing to the semi-finals. But the following afternoon, Oscar wasn't on top of his game. He came in last, missing out on a spot in the finals.

Even though Oscar didn't win a medal, he arguably won something more valuable at those London games – the admiration of millions of people. Overnight, Oscar became a global icon. He was flooded with requests for interviews and television appearances. Brands like Nike and Oakley signed him to be the face of their new campaigns. Now Oscar Pistorius was enjoying a $2 million a year payday. That partnered with Oscar's good looks and sculpted physique suddenly made him one of the most desirable bachelors on the planet.

And Oscar knew it. On the surface, this sounds like his rise to fame is all positive. He's getting brand recognition and the admiration of millions of people, he's inspiring others, and he's also being recognized as a desirable bachelor. Ordinarily, this isn't something to automatically pathologize, but this is murderous minds and we know where this leads. So circling back to his childhood, we know that Oscar's mother was making every effort she could to ensure that

Oscar did not feel different in or outside the home. And remember how I said that her intentions, no matter how good they were, might have been a detriment? The quote he referenced about the real loser really showcases that could be possible. In dissecting that quote, it indicates a dichotomous or binary view. The message is that you're either a real loser or you're not. And apparently that was the lens he was viewing the world in. So let's consider for a moment that even though her intentions were genuine and

came from a great place, she may have inadvertently overinflated his ego and instilled that black and white thinking in the process. And by that I mean, he's going to view things as either all good or all bad. He's either the winning participant or the winning athlete, or he's the real loser. He's either adored by all or hated by everyone. Not to mention with a possible overinflated ego, having this sudden burst of admiration and recognition and attention, that could certainly exacerbate any existing grandiosity or egocentric patterns which are often the core of narcissism and narcissistic traits.

Regardless of the repercussions, Oscar was basking in the limelight. Fancy parties, award shows, and galas now filled his social calendar. And when it came to dating, Oscar had his pick of the litter. Actresses, models, singers, you name it. However, there was one woman that really caught Oscar's attention. 29-year-old reality TV star and model Riva Steenkamp. Oscar met Riva at a car show in November of 2012, shortly after returning from the London

Olympics. They both had mutual friends who thought they'd be a good match. They got to talking, and Oscar asked Riva to be his date to an award ceremony later that evening. From that day on, they were inseparable. Like Oscar, Riva Steenkamp was born and raised in South Africa. Growing up, she had dreams of becoming a lawyer and set her sights on making that a reality. Around the age of 15, though, Riva was scouted by an agent who told her she had a lot of

potential for a successful modeling career. Riva took it as a golden opportunity. Now she could make money modeling and put herself through law school. Riva did just that. After graduating from high school, she began her studies in law at Nelson Mandela University. She even knew what her focus would be, advocacy for women who were suffering from domestic violence and abuse, an issue that was rampant in South Africa. Between 2011 and 2012, the country had the highest occurrence of sexual

assaults worldwide, according to the US State Department. This issue was also personal to Riva. She herself had reportedly struggled with an abusive partnership during her college years. But while in her last year of law school, a bad accident temporarily altered the course of Riva's life. She was thrown from a horse and crushed two of her vertebrae. For six weeks, Riva was hospitalized, uncertain whether she would ever be able to walk again. While Riva eventually made a full recovery, it changed her perspective on life. It taught

her that life was worth fighting for. But it was also too short not to do what truly makes you happy. So while Riva still graduated from law school at the top of her class, she also realized she wanted to make modeling a priority, at least for the time being. This accident was almost certainly something Riva and Oscar bonded over. Oh yes, I'd agree that it certainly did play a big part in what connected them. We all seek common interests and common ground with every relationship we have, whether it's friendships or romantic relationships. But for someone like Oscar, who is surrounded primarily by able-bodied people, finding someone

who has experience navigating a world that challenges ableism was definitely an attractive and invaluable connection for him. It's validating and I can only imagine that it allows for him to feel fully seen and understood, maybe even accepted. Could this be an example of trauma bonding? So trauma bonding is something that happens in a relationship where there is a cycle of abuse. It's an intense emotional attachment that develops between an abuser and their victim. And at this

point in the story, there isn't any known abuse or pattern of abuse that has come up. So without that, it can't yet be considered trauma bonding. That being said, if there was psychological abuse occurring, it's possible that the very thing that connected them could be weaponized in the relationship in manipulative ways. For example, if he were to say, I thought you of all people really understood me, or I thought you really got how this makes me feel, as an attempt to control or gain compliance in the relationship, that could be a way in which one would be manipulating their partner's empathy for personal gain.

So in relationships where there's an intimate partner violence or abusive pattern, this is something that you would likely see happening and then we could likely see a trauma bond occur. Even before meeting Oscar, Riva knew her good looks wouldn't carry her over the finish line. She needed something to fall back on, something that wasn't reality TV appearances

and KFC commercials, but instead skills she could enact later in life. So by the time she and Oscar were introduced in November 2012, she was reportedly planning to take the bar, get back into law, and use the platform she'd built as a way to get back into advocacy. And seemingly, Oscar was supportive of that. In fact, going into January of 2013, the couple appeared pretty happy together. They'd only been dating a few months, but it looked like they were planning for a future with one another.

On January 26th, they were spotted out together at a party, both dressed in white, dancing the night away. Friends who were there with them said they looked madly in love. Many of them thought they were headed towards marriage. Just a few days later, the couple had dinner with some of their closest friends, TV personality Jen Su and her husband Del Levin, and they also said, based on intimate conversations they had with the couple, that things were going extremely well. And while Reva wasn't living with the couple, that things were going extremely well. And while Reva wasn't living with Oscar yet, they were spending plenty of nights together

at his new house in Pretoria, about 45 minutes outside of Johannesburg. The problem was, according to Jen and Dell, Oscar kept saying that he really didn't feel safe there. It may have started back in 2005, when Oscar's last home in Pretoria was broken into. Or it could have started even earlier than that, perhaps dating back to childhood. As long as Oscar could remember, he was always told to look over his shoulder, especially being from a middle-class family in Johannesburg where most of the population made less than $65 a month in the 90s.

And in a nation where the violent crime rate was one of the highest in the world, well, Oscar's worries weren't completely unmerited. It wasn't unheard of for families in Johannesburg to own guns, to protect themselves, and that's what Oscar's father, Hank, always taught him and his siblings, that you could never be too careful, and that you could never rely on the local police to do the protecting. So it was sort of ingrained in Oscar to always have his head on a swivel. But ever since Oscar's rapid rise to fame, he'd been especially on edge, at least according to some of his old friends.

They stated that Oscar always made sure to turn on his alarm system before bed. Oscar even told one friend that he started sleeping with a 9mm pistol next to his bed. And while he was happy that his new home had more security features than the last, like electrified gates and its own security guards, Oscar still claimed there was a sense of unease. And maybe that was justified. The area had still fallen victim to two burglaries over the last several years, and while that was exceptionally low for the area, it was still notable to Oscar.

Plus, according to Oscar, Riva had been receiving hate mail for her relationship with the athlete as of late, something that only added more fuel to Oscar's paranoia. It sounds like Oscar has some hypervigilance and paranoia related to safety, obviously, but before we immediately seek to pathologize that, we have to consider the context, which you laid out so great, Vanessa. He was taught at a very young age to be situationally aware, and he grew up in a country with extremely high crime,

but more importantly, he has a disability. And people with disabilities are at an increased risk of victimization because of their perceived vulnerabilities. So ensuring that Oscar knew how to be street smart or vigilant is appropriate. Just in the fact of where he grew up alone, but when you add that component, it makes sense. And his worry, although perhaps excessive, appears reality-based. So I don't necessarily think this is a delusional paranoia necessarily, but most parents teach their children about safety. And that doesn't automatically mean there's an underlying clinical disorder

there or that the paranoia is a result of a mental illness, but rather what you're taught, what your experiences are, and the realities that you are facing. In Oscar's case, he's widely known, he's getting death threats, and he's got limitations. Is it unusual for someone who's a new celebrity to feel a sense of fear or paranoia now that they're a public figure? What can paranoia like this do to someone,

and how might it eat away at them over time? I don't think it's unusual. I mean having very little place that you can go without being recognized or approached, not to mention receiving letters like that, it makes sense that people would become more acutely aware of their surroundings and their safety. I can see how it could turn into something pathological over time, perhaps even a part of complex trauma, especially when if you're that widely known and you are approached by strangers,

you never know their intentions when they approach you. I know I'd certainly be concerned about privacy and safety in ways that I'd never considered previously if I were in his position. It's definitely eye-opening. Even if Oscar didn't feel safe in his own home, it seems like Riva did. On February 10th, 2013, Riva posted a photo on Instagram

with the caption, "'I woke up in a happy, safe home this morning. Not everyone did. Speak out against the rape of individuals in SA.'" The message was in dedication to a 17-year-old girl named Aneen Boyson who had been sexually assaulted and killed outside of Cape Town. So advocacy was definitely top of mind for Riva that week, especially as she polished off a speech regarding the cause, one she was planning to deliver

to students of a local high school on Friday the 15th. She even went to her publicist's office on the afternoon of February 13th to practice it out loud. Reva passionately detailed her life growing up on a farm, how they had little money, and how that led to low self-esteem, which then drove her to stay in an abusive partnership longer than she should have. But that beautifully written speech would never be heard by anyone else, because in less than 24 hours, Riva Steenkamp would be dead. Details at phys.ca. Do you love stories about con artists and scammers, people pretending to be someone they're not?

I'm Javier Leiva, the host of Pretend, the podcast where I interview real con artists and uncover why they do what they do, like the family who claimed that they were being stalked only to find out that the messages were coming from their own house. Yeah, they were the stalkers. It's ridiculous when I get death threats about him wanting to go and blow my husband's head off.

And then I get accused of having a split personality and maybe you're doing it and you don't realize it. That's ridiculous. Or the true crime author accused of harassing the very same victims that she was writing about. I am being honest with you. I am not. Fetish master. I don't know what to say, but I am being completely honest with you. I don't know what's going on. These are real people with real stories. If you love podcasts with a good twist, subscribe to Pretend wherever

you're listening to right now. Pretend. Stories about real people pretending to be someone else. After competing in the 2012 Summer Olympics in London, Oscar Pistorius, otherwise known as the Blade Runner, became a global icon. From brand deals with Nike to gracing the cover of Men's Health magazine, 26-year-old Oscar was at the peak of his stardom. And with 29-year-old model and activist Riva Steenkamp on his arm, the world was Oscar's oyster. That is until February 13th, 2013.

After Riva finished going over her speech at her publicist office that afternoon, she drove her Mini Cooper back through the guarded gates of Oscar's community. Riva was whipping up a romantic, pre-Valentine's Day dinner for Oscar when he returned home from his obligations around 6 p.m. that night. Oscar greeted her and told her he was going to shower and change his clothes while she finished up. By the time the two sat across from each other at the dinner table, it was about 7 p.m.

According to Oscar, the conversation that night was a really good one. Oscar told her about a new house he was looking to buy in the Sandton neighborhood of Johannesburg, apparently a place he felt safer living in. Meanwhile, Riva shared great news about a new deal she was excited about and how she was thinking about starting her own lingerie line. All around, it seemed both had a lot to look forward to, as a couple and individually. They retired to Oscar's bedroom around 8 p.m., but realized the heat was unbearable. Oscar's air conditioner was broken, so he opened the sliding door on his balcony.

And to combat the muggy South African air, Oscar placed two fans near the balcony door. Then, Oscar put his loaded 9mm pistol under his side of the bed, as he did every night. And to be extra safe, Oscar leaned his cricket bat near the cabinet doors by his bed. Apparently for Oscar, having that additional level of security helped him relax that evening. And seemingly, Riva didn't think much of it either. After all, the two had been dating for about four months now. For Reva, the gun next to the bed was nothing new. Oscar said he removed his prosthetic legs and climbed into bed to play on his iPad for a while. Reva did some yoga on the bedroom floor before crawling into bed herself around

10 p.m. While they didn't have any big plans for Valentine's Day the following evening, both had bought gifts to celebrate their first one as a couple. Riva had framed four photos of them and written him a card addressed to Ozzy. It read, I think today is a good day to tell you that I love you. Oscar had a custom bracelet made for Riva which he planned to pick up with her the next morning.

According to Oscar, he kissed her goodnight as he was starting to doze off. Then he asked her to please close the balcony door before she fell asleep. But around 2am, Oscar woke up and noticed the fans were still on and the balcony door was still wide open. He claimed he got up and walked over without his prosthetics to close the door. He said it was pitch black in the room. And that's when he heard a noise coming from the ensuite bathroom. It sounded like someone had just opened the window there.

And Oscar said that's when his heart started pounding. Now the following version of events is what Oscar would later tell the police. He claimed he was convinced someone had just entered his home and that he barely had time to think let alone strap on his prosthetics. He said he was too scared to even turn on the light. Instead, he just grabbed the gun under his side of the bed and began moving towards the bathroom. Meanwhile, he said he whispered loudly behind him to Reva,

telling her to stay down and call the cops. Okay, so given what we know so far about his version of events, and we're operating only on his version of events, and we're operating only on his version of events and being as objective as possible, the fact that he immediately concluded that someone broke in makes sense in context of how we know how worried and preoccupied he's been about safety. And when we add in the fact that he has just woken up abruptly, he's likely still experiencing

some sleep inertia. And sleep inertia occurs when someone's woken abruptly, and it really, it's a state of disorientation and impaired cognitive function. It typically lasts between 15 to 30 minutes, though this obviously can vary based on the person and their sleep quality. It also sounds like he might be experiencing an activation in his sympathetic nervous system, and when this is activated, the body is flooded with epinephrine, which is also known as adrenaline, igniting that fight, flight, or freeze mode.

Someone in this state, who is genuinely feeling as though they are in a life-threatening situation is more likely to prioritize safety over logic. So in this case that would be grabbing a gun before putting on his prosthetic legs. Though I would imagine once he had the gun he would immediately get his prosthetic legs. So he was prepared to flee if needed since the brain is prioritizing safety. But it would be very hard to imagine what any one person would do in that situation, especially because most of us don't have to consider our ability to be mobile during a life-threatening situation in the way that he has to.

Well, if Oscar's version of events is to be believed, then it seems he was in that defense mode, as you mentioned. As that adrenaline coursed through his veins, he said he screamed at the intruders to get out of his house. And that's when Oscar said he heard the door, which separated the toilet from the rest of the bathroom, slam shut. He believed whoever had entered his home had panicked and now locked themselves in there. That's when Oscar reacted. He fired a shot through the toilet room door, then another,

then another, and finally one more. Oscar later said he continued to scream to Riva in the bedroom, telling her to call the police. But after a few moments with no response, Oster walked back into the bedroom. He finally flipped on the lights and that's when he realized Riva wasn't there. That's when he said it suddenly dawned on him. Could it have been Riva in the bathroom all along? Did he just make a horrific mistake? Let's consider that Oscar's version is truthful and can be trusted. A combination of the sleep inertia I talked about and the adrenaline could explain impairment in decision making

during these events. I talked about the fight, flight, or freeze response that occurs when the sympathetic nervous system is ignited and adrenaline's being pushed through the body. And let's say that that is what is happening here. I think a lot of people would want to assert that if they were in his position, they would have had made sure that their partner was really in bed with them first

and maybe even chose to sneak out of the house armed, especially if the perceived threat has retreated to the bathroom. It seems like an easy way to just get out. It seemed logical to take that choice, but that's not the option that Oscar chose. The reality is every person's response to a perceived threat will differ

because each person is unique. a perceived threat will differ because each person is unique. Threat responses will vary based on genetics, past experiences, their upbringing, the severity of the threat, the environment it's taking place in, and even the person's personality will determine how they respond. So Oscar, who is taught to always be vigilant and be prepared, and the perceived threat is occurring in his own environment where he probably feels the most prepared. So this may be why in this moment he decided to fight, even when it may have been safer

or more logical to flee. He's also had an upbringing in which he was constantly needing to prove his strength to others. And that is a large part of his personality now. Not to mention, he's been exhibiting a bit of a fixation on safety for a while, and it's as if he's been expecting an intruder. So he could have been operating not just on disorientation from sleep inertia like we talked about, but a confirmation bias. All of this could explain why he chose to fight instead of flee or freeze. orientation from sleep inertia like we talked about, but a confirmation bias.

All of this could explain why he chose to fight instead of flee or freeze. Of course, that is if his version of events are true. Well, at this point, Oscar grabbed the cricket bat and raced back to the bathroom, banging down the door with everything he had. Finally, he smashed through and was able to unlock it. Inside, his worst fears awaited him. He'd shot his girlfriend Riva Steenkamp in three places – the arm, the hip, and the head. But Riva was still breathing. Oscar said the first thing he did was grab his cell phone and dial emergency services. Next, he called

the neighborhood's security manager asking him to come help. Then, he picked Riva up and carried her downstairs. By that point, neighbors who had heard the gunshots rushed over to help. When they arrived, they said they found Oscar trying to perform mouth-to-mouth on Riva. Another person supposedly applied a tourniquet to the wound on her arm. But one of Oscar's neighbors was a doctor, and he told the athlete that his attempts were futile. With Riva's gunshot wound to the head, no amount of CPR was going to help. Moments later, Riva Steenkamp's pulse stopped beating.

That's when the police finally arrived. A seemingly hysterical Oscar, covered in Riva's blood, told the police his entire story. How he'd mistaken Riva for an intruder. How he'd acted out of fear and wasn't thinking clearly when he fired those four shots through the bathroom door. How he still believed Riva was asleep beside him when he fired those four shots through the bathroom door, how he still believed Riva was asleep beside him when he woke up. But the police felt there was something off about the story we just heard, Oscar's version

of events. It felt performative. There were plot holes. They simply weren't buying it. For example, Riva was still fully dressed in last night's clothes, making it unlikely that she was in bed before going to the bathroom, like Oscar had claimed. And after speaking with Oscar's neighbors, they learned a woman's screams had been ringing loudly from the home just moments before those shots were fired. So now the question became,

was Oscar's self-defense story true? Or had there been a late-night fight between the couple, one that led Oscar to intentionally murder Riva Steenkamp? Thanks so much for listening. Come back next time for a deep dive into the mind of another murderer. Killer Minds is a Crime House original powered by Pave Studios. Here at Crime House, we want to thank each and every one of you for your support. If you like what you heard today, reach out on all social media at Crime House. And don't forget to rate, review, and follow Killer Minds wherever you get your podcasts.

Your feedback truly makes a difference. And to enhance your listening experience, subscribe to Crime House Plus on Apple Podcasts. You'll get every episode of Killer Minds ad-free, along with early access to each thrilling two-part series and exciting bonus content. Killer Minds is hosted by me, Vanessa Richardson, and Dr. Tristan Engels, and is a Crime House original powered by Pave Studios. This episode was brought to life by the Killer Minds team, Max Cutler, Ron Shapiro, Alex Benedon, Laurie Marinelli, Natalie Pertsovsky,

Sarah Kamp, Sheila Patterson, and Carrie Murphy. Of the many sources we used when researching this episode, the one we found the most credible and helpful was Chase Your Shadow, The Trials of Oscar Pastorius by John Carlin. Thank you for listening.