Mindfulness Meditation Podcast - Mindfulness Meditation 12/16/15 with Sharon Salzberg

Episode Date: December 16, 2015

Every Wednesday, the Rubin Museum of Art presents a meditation session led by a prominent meditation teacher from the New York area. This podcast is a recording of the weekly practice. If you would like to attend in person, please visit our website at RubinMuseum.org/meditation to learn more. We are proud to be partnering with Sharon Salzberg and the teachers from the New York Insight Meditation Center. This week’s session will be led by Sharon Salzberg. To view a related artwork from the Rubin Museum's permanent collection, please visit: rma.cm/mq

Thank you. person, please visit our website at rubinmuseum.org slash meditation to learn more. We are proud to be partnering with Sharon Salzberg and the teachers from the New York Insight Meditation Center. In the description for each episode, you will find information about the theme for that week's session, including an image of a related artwork chosen from the Rubin Museum's permanent collection. And now, please enjoy your practice. permanent collection. And now please enjoy your practice. Sharon Salzberg is the co-founder of the Insight Meditation Society in Barrie, Massachusetts. She's been studying and teaching since the early 70s and she's the author of so many great books, many of which you can find upstairs in our shop, including real happiness at work. Please welcome Sharon Salzberg.

It's great to see all of you. And those of you who are here for the first time, a special welcome. So I did choose love as the topic, that controversial, exciting, tantalizing notion. Of course, culturally, bless you, in the West, we have all of these sayings like love makes the world go round and love is all you need. The word that I, the meditation method that I commonly teach that we're gonna do here together today

is loving kindness. And the word in Pali, the language of the original Buddhist text, is metta, M-E-T-T-A. The common translation is loving kindness. And I've had scholars say to me, just call it love. Stop being so timid and squeamish.

Just say love. But that's a complicated word for us, isn't it? We use it, first of all, from everything like I love my new curtains, which I don't yet have, but that was very hypothetical. I love my new curtains, which I don't yet have, but that was very hypothetical. I love my curtains, to I love you madly, to I need you, I want you, I have to have you,

to, I mean, there are all kinds of different things that get evoked. Sometimes we really, frankly, mean a medium of of exchange like I will love you as long as you love me in return or the following 15 conditions are met. I once used that example I was teaching somewhere and someone in the room called out only 15. So I will love you as long as however many conditions are met or I will love myself as long as I never make a mistake so we know how fragile, how breakable

how uncertain that state is as common as it is and it's not really what we mean by metta, by metta we mean something more like a profound sense of connection, feeling at home in ourselves, feeling connected to one another, having a sense of ourselves that isn't so bound to the moment. We're not so defined by the ups and downs of what comes our way. It may not be

like highly emotional love, but it's a sense of self-possession, a kind of dignity, a recognition of who we are. And with others, the word loving kindness or love in the sense of metta doesn't necessarily mean you like somebody, and it certainly doesn't mean you're going to bring them home for dinner or give them all your money or any money or give them your car again. It doesn't necessarily imply action of any kind. The action we take, the things we do, the things we say, the things we refrain from saying or doing are really based on discernment, on wisdom, on taking a look at context, where we are.

Does it seem better to say yes or no in this particular context? Does it seem better to say something sweetly or kind of intensely in this particular context? But the heart space our actions can be coming from can be ones of connection, inclusion, recognition, understanding. That's different. So that's really the movement in the practice of loving kindness is what's motivating us, what's our worldview, how connected or disconnected do we feel. And I say all that because a lot of times

people feel kind of squeamish. Like, were I to practice loving kindness, I could only say yes and be sweet and kind of gooey and give away all my money and, in the worst case scenario, give away my rent control department in New York, which you should never, ever, ever do. department in New York, which you should never, ever, ever do. Right? That I'll lose discernment, intelligence, wisdom.

But it's not like that. To cultivate a loving heart doesn't mean that we're consigned to a very narrow band of action so that we'll be taken advantage of or be foolish. It's actually a power. It's a strength. So I would say that in teaching loving-kindness meditation, there are two really main controversies I feel like I come upon.

One is the idea of love as a strength rather than a weakness. And I love the association of love and generosity. And we might have the same feelings about generosity that you end up depleted you end up giving more than you should you end up not having enough but I think if we actually look at times we've been generous and coming from a good place, a good motivation, not times when we feel, you know, everyone's watching, so I better give, or I'm forced to give for some reason.

But when we're actually coming from a good place, it is such a joy and such a delight to be practicing generosity. And it's the same with love. When we realize that it doesn't mean we no longer care about ourselves or there's no more balance or there's an insistence on acting in a certain way, like only saying yes, then when we realize that we're not meaning any of that, then we can see that love is a tremendous strength. It's really a tremendous power, and I think often it's one of the signs of our time

that we live with such a degraded sense of love that we think it'll just bring us down and make us kind of sentimental and be sort of saccharine and we can recover the understanding of love as a great strength and generosity is a great strength and the other big controversy which of course challenges my life's work is the idea that qualities like love or loving kindness and compassion can be trained. And I know it can sound sort of weird and cold and mechanistic, like, you know, I went to the Rubin Museum every single Wednesday in 2015, and now I'm loving,

day in 2015 and now I'm loving you know or I passed the course I got the certificate but it's really not like that we say that qualities like love are emergent properties of how we pay attention and so we know we can train attention that's the whole premise of meditation practice is know we can train attention. That's the whole premise of meditation practice is that we can train how we pay attention so that it's more direct, more present, not so cluttered with old fears and bias and so on. So the more we train our attention, the more we have created the conditions

for qualities like love and kindness and compassion to emerge. So from that point of view, absolutely, it's considered that these traits, these qualities can be trained. Bless you. Oh, it's the season. And so we practice. We practice meditation in just that way. So I would like us to... I'm going to guide a loving-kindness practice to end the season and help us embark on a new year.

And then we'll have a little bit of time for questions. So if you get sick comfortably, you can close your eyes or not, however you feel most at ease. The practice of loving-kindness meditation, which is its own method, is done by the silent repetition of certain phrases. The phrases are the conduit for paying attention differently.

So, for example, in looking at ourselves, through the phrases we wish ourselves well, rather than go through one more time the list of all the mistakes we made just this week. Doesn't mean we had a perfect week, but we've been through that list a whole bunch. So for now, we rest our attention on these phrases. The phrases need to be big enough or general enough.

These are practices of generosity, generosity of the heart, and so we're offering to ourselves and to others. And so the phrases need to be general enough so we can make this offering to ourselves and to others without constantly having to think of new phrases that's why they tend to be things starting with ourselves like may i be safe be happy be healthy live with ease

may i live with ease means in the things of day-to-day life, like livelihood or family. May it not be such a struggle. May I live with ease. May I be safe. Be happy. Be healthy. Live with ease.

You can use these phrases or any phrases that come to mind, three or four, and just gently repeat them over and over again, gathering all of your attention behind one phrase at a time. And you don't have to try to manufacture a particular feeling or pretend anything. The power of the practice is said to come in that complete, wholehearted gathering of our attention.

One phrase at a time. gathering of our attention, one phrase at a time. And when you find your attention wandering, which is so likely, don't worry about it. Maybe your mind has jumped to the past, to the future, to judgment, to speculation. to the past, to the future, to judgment, to speculation? If so, remember the most important thing

is practicing gently letting go without judgment and beginning again, bringing your attention back to the phrases.. Thank you. Let's see if a benefactor comes to mind. A benefactor is someone who's helped you. Maybe they've helped you directly, they've mentored you, they've helped you out in some way. Or maybe you've never met them, but they've inspired you from afar.

If someone like that comes to mind, you can bring them here. See if you can get an image of them say their name to yourself get a feeling for their presence and offer the phrases of loving kindness to them Even if the words aren't perfect, that's fine. They're carrying the energy of our hearts. Thank you. Thank you. And then a friend, the first friend who comes to mind. Bring them here and offer the phrases of loving kindness to them. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And then someone here you didn't know before you got here. Maybe it's the person sitting next to you that you just glanced at. Somebody you walked in with accidentally.

You may not know their name, but you could just get a feeling for them. Thank you. And then everybody here, including yourself. This may involve people you know very well, those of you who don't really know at all. The phrases become something like, may we be safe, be happy, be healthy, live with ease.

Or whatever phrases you may be using. Thank you. And then all beings everywhere, all people, all creatures, all those in existence, near and far, known and unknown, may all beings be safe, be happy, be healthy, live with ease. Thank you. Thank you..... . May you be happy and well, and thank you. . That concludes this week's practice. Thank you. That concludes this week's practice. If you'd like to attend in person, please check out our website,

rubinmuseum.org slash meditation to learn more. Sessions are free to Rubin Museum members, just one of the many benefits of membership. Thank you for listening. Have a mindful day.