Mindfulness Meditation Podcast - Mindfulness Meditation 3/16/16 with Sharon Salzberg

Episode Date: April 4, 2016

Every Wednesday, the Rubin Museum of Art presents a meditation session led by a prominent meditation teacher from the New York area. This podcast is a recording of the weekly practice. If you would like to attend in person, please visit our website at RubinMuseum.org/meditation to learn more. We are proud to be partnering with Sharon Salzberg and the teachers from the Insight Meditation Center and the Interdependence Project. This week’s session is be led by Sharon Salzberg focusing on the theme of the Non-Aggression. To view a related artwork from the Rubin Museum's permanent collection, please visit: rma.cm/oj

Welcome to the Mindfulness Meditation Podcast. I'm your host, Dawn Eshelman. Every Wednesday at the Rubin Museum of Art in Chelsea, we present a meditation session led by a prominent meditation teacheruseum.org. We are proud to be partnering with Sharon Salzberg and the Teachers Friendly Interdependence Project. In the description for each episode, you will find information about the theme for that week's session, including an image of a related art work chosen from the Rubin Museum's permanent collection. And now, please enjoy your practice. Sharon Salzberg is the co-founder of the Insight Meditation Society in Barrie, Massachusetts, has been teaching and practicing for many years, and is the author of many fabulous books, which you can find from the bookshop including Real

Happiness at Work. Please welcome back Sharon Salzberg. So welcome. We're gonna talk about anger or hatred or aggression, however you want to phrase it. It's a hot topic, isn't it, in every way. So these qualities are always very interesting because there's also a jewel hidden in them, often, of something very positive. It's like the treasure. But in order to access that treasure, we have to not be all caught in the limitations of certain qualities

and the ways they give us tunnel vision or delude us in some way. So it's almost like going to the heart of these qualities and being able to capture some part of their energy that can serve us instead of being lost in them and drowning in them, being overwhelmed by them. So anger in the Buddhist psychology is likened to a forest fire that burns up its own support. And I should say that this isn't about whether you feel anger or not. We feel what we feel. But when we get overwhelmed by anger, when it takes over, when it defines us, when it defines our sense of possibility, and especially when it determines our

actions when our choices the things we say the things we do the things we refrain from saying or doing are because of that very intense state that's when it functions like a forest fire which which burns up its own support. And so that means we ourselves can be destroyed or certainly severely damaged by that burning fire. And not only that, like a forest fire, it might leave us very far from where we want to be. where we want to be. And I mean we probably all could look back at some incident and think I wish I'd waited a little bit before I sent the email or before I lashed out or whatever it is. Just a little bit. Not that I wouldn't have done something or said something but it's so intense a state that we lose perspective sometimes, right?

So the positive part of it, it's like the jewel hidden in there, is a kind of energy that can have a very penetrating intelligence in it. You know how sometimes you're at a meeting or something like that, and it's the angry person in the room that's pointing out the thing no one else wants to look at? Like, let's just avoid that, whatever, you know? And they're saying, look at that, whatever, you know, and they're saying look at that, right? So that's a positive attribute, being willing to look at what's unpleasant, being able to cut through things like social niceties, that's considered really positive, but

when you think about the damage, then you can understand why it feels so imperative to try to capture that energy without just being lost or consumed by the anger. And certainly you don't want it to be just your chronic reaction, right? Because then we're never happy. Everything is something to complain about or could be better or It's not only that the glass is half empty. It's like, you know, got a few drops in it maybe when, you know, maybe when everyone else is seeing, you know, a half full glass. You know, so we're so unhappy.

We're so miserable when that's sort of a chronic, repetitive, automatic reaction. But even apart from that, when we are lost in that state, there is a kind of tunnel vision. It's like if you think right now of the last time you were really angry at yourself, whenever that might have been. Maybe long ago, maybe not so long ago. And bring it back. It's not also a time, generally speaking, where we think, oh, you know, I did five great things this morning, too.

Not only that stupid thing I did. Right? Those five great things, they're gone. Because we are fixatedated we're consumed by even sometimes obsessed with what we did wrong so that's not to say we want to deny or pretend that we're perfect or that nothing ever goes wrong but when we fixate on that we're missing a whole lot of life and truth about ourselves and about the nature of things so it's that tunnel vision that is really a big problem i tell this story sometimes about um it harkens back to the olden days of email, which feels like a funny thing to say. And it was a time when if you heard that sound,

like you got an email, it was the most exciting thing in the world. You know, it was like, I got an email! So I was home in Barry, Massachusetts, working on a desktop. We only had desktops, working on a desktop. We only had desktops, I can't remember. And I got an email.

And it was somebody who said, I don't understand the problem with anger. And so I wrote back. And I said, and again, this is not a problem with feeling anger. It's a problem with getting overwhelmed by anger. So I wrote back and I said, well, one problem with anger is that when we're lost in it, we just put people in a box. And then, you know, that ended that. And then I was working on some project and something went terribly wrong in the

relationship between my computer and my printer and I got really angry I was furious so the first person I was angry at was we didn't even have the phrase IT then called him our computer assistant who was on vacation in Hawaii and I thought how dare he be gone I need need him so badly. He's never here when I need him. This is such a big project. It's so important. Totally forgetting that the reason he was in Hawaii on vacation is that I had decided he needed a vacation. And I had gone to the airport and used my frequent flyer miles to get him to Hawaii. Gone. Right? Then I was down on my hands and knees, like, pulling out things and putting in other things. And the second person

I was really angry at was myself. Like, why can't you fix these kind of things? Like, why are you so, like, backwards? You can't, like, do this kind of thing. In the meantime, I fixed it. But I was so angry at myself that I didn't even take a moment to say, wow, I fixed that. I just got back up on my chair and I was working on this project and then I heard the magic sound again. Ooh, I have an email.

And I went online and I saw my original correspondent had written to me and said, I don't understand what you mean when you say when we're lost in anger, we just put people in a box. And I said, let me tell you what just happened. Right?

So it's not to say that quality is bad or wrong or we're terrible people, but when we are consumed by it, we're lost. We're lost in a suffering state, a really compressed, tight state. It doesn't have to be that way. So the opposite of that is not giving in and it's not losing that ability to say, hey that doesn't look right to me. It's not losing that kind of penetrating intelligence or the energy to take a stand. The opposite of that is what is known as loving kindness, which in common conventional terms

can seem like really sentimental or kind of silly or certainly sort of weak, not very discerning, but in truth is a force, it's a power, because it actually is more reflective of the truth of our experience than anything. That our lives are all connected. Our lives all have something to do with one another. that the constructs we hold, sometimes incredibly rigidly, of self and other and us and them,

feeling so separate and so apart, those are constructs. In truth, our lives are intertwined, which doesn't mean you like everybody. It actually doesn't even mean you like anybody. But deep down, you know, there's a kind of belonging in this larger fabric of life, which includes everybody. So I was just last weekend in Washington, D.C. teaching, and it was, you know, a weekend, so the

sponsoring group, the organizing group, rented this elementary school. So they used to rent a different elementary school years ago, which I loved, because that school had its own rules of kindness, and the rules of kindness were these huge pieces of paper in the corridors, so we would all, like, go look, and the rules included things like, don't hurt anyone on the inside or on the outside. And my favorite rule of kindness from that school was everybody gets to play.

Everybody gets to play. Doesn't mean everybody gets to be your best friend, but everybody gets to play. There's a kind of worth in everybody, which could be very covered over, but nonetheless is believed to be there, that we recognize. So this school, I walked in and I saw these big pieces

of paper in the car and I got really excited. But they said things, the kids had done them, they said things like, you're an idiot. And I have the biggest and best sword. So I thought, oh, maybe not the same effect. But just that sense of everybody gets to play, it's powerful because it reflects a truth about the nature of interconnection. So if we cultivate loving kindness, it doesn't mean we get weak and

stupid and whatever, but we find a very different source of strength that is based on that inclusion and clarity about the nature of our lives. So we're going to practice some loving-kindness meditation together. Okay? So this is a different form. It's a different methodology than mindfulness techniques, and they can support one another. So I'm going to guide you through this quite extensively. You can sit comfortably, see if your back can be straight

without being strained or overarched. You want some energy in your body, but not so much. You're really stiff and uptight. You also want to be relaxed and at ease. And you can close your eyes or not, however you feel most comfortable. Let your energy settle into your body. Rather than resting our attention on the feeling of the breath, as we often do in mindfulness techniques, in this practice, we settle our attention

on the silent repetition of certain phrases. First offering these to ourselves, and then to others. So we'll begin with ourselves. You can silently repeat, May I be happy. May I be peaceful. May I be peaceful. The feeling tone is one of offering. It's gift giving.

It's blessing. Instead of going through the list of your faults again, and it's not even afternoon, really, you're going to wish yourself well. So gather all of your attention behind one phrase at a time. You don't have to try to force or manufacture any feeling at all. The power of the practice comes from that full, wholehearted gathering. May I be happy. May I be peaceful. May I be peaceful. And when your attention wanders, don't worry about it.

Really. Thank you. And see if you can call to mind a benefactor. That's someone who's helped you. Maybe they've helped you directly. They've helped pick you up when you've fallen down. Maybe you've never met them. They've inspired you from afar. Could be an adult, could be a child, could be a pet. Someone who embodies the sense of love for you.

And if someone comes to mind, you can bring them here and get an image of them, say their name to yourself, get a feeling for their presence, and offer the phrases of loving kindness to them. Even if the words don't seem really right, it doesn't matter. They're serving us. They're like a vehicle for the energy of the heart. Diolch yn fawr. Thank you. And then a friend, the first friend who comes to mind. May you be happy. Be peaceful. Thank you. Thank you. And someone you know who's really struggling right now. Thank you. Amen. Thank you. And then everybody here, which involves a whole variety of different relationships, those whom you may know quite well, Those of you don't know at all.

And yourself. So the phrases become something like, may we be happy. Be peaceful. Thank you. Thank you. And then all beings everywhere, all people, all creatures, all those in existence. May all beings be happy. May all beings be peaceful. Thank you. Thank you. Be happy. site, rubinmuseum.org slash meditation to learn more. Sessions are free to Rubin Museum members, just one of the many benefits of membership. Thank you for listening. Have a mindful day.