Mindfulness Meditation Podcast - Mindfulness Meditation with Rebecca Li 12/18/2019

Episode Date: December 20, 2019

The Rubin Museum of Art presents a weekly meditation session led by a prominent meditation teacher from the New York area, with each session focusing on a specific work of art. This podcast is recorded in front of a live audience, and includes an opening talk, a 20-minute sitting session, and a closing discussion. The guided meditation begins at 27:36. If you would like to attend Mindfulness Meditation sessions in person or learn more, please visit our website at RubinMuseum.org/meditation. This program is presented in partnership with Sharon Salzberg, the Interdependence Project, and Parabola Magazine. Rebecca Li led this meditation session on December 18, 2019. To view the related artwork for this week's session, please visit: http://therubin.org/2y2 If you’re enjoying this podcast, you can listen to more recorded events at the Rubin, such as the conversation by Black American Buddhist leaders on activism and community, with DaRa Williams, Kamilah Majied, and Willie Mukei Smith. You can find it at: https://rubinmuseum.org/mediacenter/black-american-buddhists-on-activism-and-community

Welcome to the Mindfulness Meditation Podcast. I'm your host, Dawn Eshelman. Every Wednesday at the Rubin Museum of Art in Chelsea, we present a meditation session led by a prominent meditation teacher from the New York area. This podcast is a recording of our weekly practice. If you would like to join us in person, please visit our website at rubinmuseum.org meditation. We are proud to be partnering with Sharon Salzberg and teachers from the New York Insight Meditation Center. In the description for each episode, you will find information about the theme for that week's session, including an image of a related artwork chosen from the Rubin Museum's permanent collection.

And now, please enjoy your practice. So if you've come the last couple of weeks, you'll know that I'm speaking about our monthly theme, which is generosity, just something we try to really think about around this time of year, especially with holidays and really tuning in to the kind of gifts we really want to give each other

and and also just a time of reflection looking back and appreciating what has come so I really appreciate all of you and just am so

grateful for yeah for what we've created here on Wednesdays. So let's see what happens on Mondays, you know? Also in reflecting back, we've talked a lot this year about power and that's been a concept that we've really focused on this year. Just understanding the nature of power within us and between us, and doing that through the lens of meditation, which we've done here. And I think that this idea of generosity and acting from a place of generosity is kind of the ultimate in real authentic power. And we talked about the power of gratitude and how that has been scientifically proven

to really put us in a powerful place of appreciating what we have in the world. So I just wanted to end on that note as we close out this year of power from this place of real appreciation. So we're looking today at Avalokiteshvara, who is gorgeous, look at that, and who has over his shoulder here a lotus blossom,

the stem of which is broken, but he would be holding it in his right hand So this lotus blossom, of course, represents, you know, taking the muck that we're sometimes rooted in and transforming it into this kind of pure expression. we're sometimes rooted in and transforming it into this kind of pure expression. And Avalokiteshvara is really offering us a reminder of our ability to do that with the lotus blossom. And I like to think that maybe he was offering it out and somebody just decided to say thanks and took it. And maybe that's why the stem isn't there anymore. I don't know. No, it broke and is somewhere else. I just wonder from time to time about the life of these little bits of these objects that we have that are existing somewhere else and perhaps containing the same meaning. So Avalokiteshvara is not only a deity, but a bodhisattva, and bodhisattvas are beings that have reached enlightenment,

but in the act of ultimate generosity have decided to remain on earth until all other beings are enlightened too. So we're ending with this image here of this familiar figure to many of us, Avalokiteshvara. Rebecca Lee is here with us today, and she's going to talk with us a little bit more about generosity. She's a Dharma heir in the lineage of Chan Master Sheng Yen, who she trained with in 1999 and later trained with Simon Child and received her full Dharma transmission in 2016. She's the founder and guiding teacher

of the Chan Dharma community and a sociology professor at the College of New Jersey where she also serves as faculty director of the Alan Dye Center for the Study of Social Justice. Her talks and writings can be found at RebeccaLee.org. Please welcome her back to the Reuben, Rebecca Lee. Thank you, Don. It's lovely to be with you, and I want to echo what Don mentioned.

It is a great deal of generosity being expressed here for you to take the time to come and share yourself with each other here. And generosity is a really lovely practice for us. And not only is it a practice for us to learn how to give and be a better person. It is also a practice for us to look into our mind to understand our tendencies and it is in understanding these tendencies in ourselves that we recognize ways in which we cause problems for ourselves, the ways which we cause problems for ourselves,

the ways that we cause suffering for ourselves. Because think about it, practicing generosity. It's like, it's this wonderful thing. How can it go wrong? But many of us may have experienced that, that we try to be giving, try to be generous, and then end up feeling very upset or frustrated or bitter or resentful. And it has to do with the ways in which we go about engaging in the practice of generosity. One of the most important things to keep in mind

is to look at our attitude, our mentality, which can be a very subtle, habitual, mental habit that's there whatever we do. And whatever it is that we are doing, we now practice of generosity, which is really giving, anything that we're giving, not just gift,

but maybe our time, maybe our help to others. Maybe it's not necessarily anything material or tangible. We can use that as an opportunity to sort of pay attention to how it is that we are going about giving. We can ask ourselves, do I expect any reward in this? You know, I'm just giving.

Really? Like, do we expect maybe to be recognized? To be recognized as someone who's generous? You know, like maybe we just can't help but tell someone, oh, yeah, you know, just gave that big donation to that charity. Or nowadays, you know, if you use social media people will see that you made this donation and all your friends would see it and um you know that's what the technology uh allow but it's like it is what what is what's what's in our mind do we um sort of

secretly wish wish that other people would notice that I'm doing these wonderful things so that they would see me as this generous, wonderful person. And maybe they would be nice to me, want to be my friends, or let me know about things that would be nice to me want to be my friends or um let me know about things that would be beneficial to me that would be a reward that we are not aware that we are expecting uh from from our acts of generosity so we want to we can use this as an opportunity to be very honest with ourselves and it's like oh it's not that it's not a way to judge ourselves. It's like, oh, this is what's going on, right? So it's not about being super judgmental and critical and harsh

with ourselves. It's like, oh, okay, like, you know, it's not that entirely selfless. Like, it's pretty selfless, but it's like there is still some self-centered attachment involved in it. Okay, so that means I still need to keep practicing. Or, you know, we can also look at whether we are giving, in the Sutra Ancestor talk about, do I give in a stingy way? Sometimes we think, I'm giving, but like, am I just giving things that I'm gonna go throw away anyway things that I don't need we know about those giving things that are taking up space in my closet anyway and we think oh I'm donating them and I'm being so generous but actually it is not really we should help we

should be thankful that someone is willing to take them. So it's not really generosity, right? So here we're talking about giving, especially giving as the bodhisattva, giving in a way that is not perpetuating our self-centered attachment that causes us suffering. It's a practice of giving that which is difficult to give. So if we're giving something that I'm going to get rid of anyway, that is not giving

that which is difficult to give. But we can look at whether when we are giving, We can look at whether when we are giving, is that what's going on? Really, it is about asking ourselves, do I know what I'm actually doing? And to be honest with ourselves. Or do we give just to give? Because it's joyful. It's joyful to give and um also we are grateful for the opportunity for the circumstances that allow us to be in this situation where i where i can be giving really it is recognizing that

it's not that i am being this wonderful special person but i happen to have things that others need. And there happens to be someone who needs this. What a wonderful opportunity for me to be part of this. We'd be very thankful for the opportunity. And we can cultivate this mentality as an antidote to the less helpful attitude in our giving, which is giving in the expectation of recognition. I mentioned giving that which is difficult to give, that is challenging. That is challenging.

And very often when we think about generosity, we think, oh, you know, I don't, you know, I give a little bit like money, you know, like here and there. But there are, of course, a lot of things that we can give that doesn't involve money, that doesn't involve us trying to go work for more money. And one thing that we find difficult to give is actually time. Time.

Because it doesn't matter how wealthy we are, life is very fair, we all have 24 hours a day. And giving time is a very, it can be a very difficult practice of generosity. And recently I had this Dharma discussion class with my students. And one of them shared her experience of practicing with generosity, which I want to share with you, which was very touching.

She talked about the practice of giving herself more time, which was challenging. And why is it challenging? Because we live in this culture, many of you might recognize, we all have this giant to-do list. And our day is to try to attack as many items on that to-do list

as possible. And they all take time. And how do I tackle the maximum number of items on this to-do list? Is to deprive, to take time away from things that are not on that to-do list. Such as giving ourselves just some extra moments to be right here with whoever that we have the good fortune to be with. And also, really, it's also about time for others,

for each other. about time for others, for each other. We're so busy trying to get this and get that, to try to get the whole to-do list finished, believing that it's going to give us satisfaction and happiness, when happiness can be right here if we allow ourselves to give each other time. The experience of being in her sitting meditation and getting just anxious partway through her sitting meditation because of these habits.

It's like, I have all these things to do, you know. And this time that I have scheduled to give myself in this sitting meditation, it's like, oh, trying to be a little bit stingy about it and trying to cut it short. And it's like, oh, trying to be a little bit stingy about it and trying to cut it short. And it's like, well, I'm practicing generosity to myself also. Because guess what? I am one of those sentient beings that Avalokiteshvara said, vows to help.

And what she noticed was that as she is willing to be generous with herself for time, she realized she could also do that for other people. And I don't know if you recognize when we spend time with others. For example, I call my parents every week. They live 12 time zones away, so I call them. And do we talk to someone that we care about, but constantly be thinking about this giant to-do list and be in a hurry to cut short the phone call?

in a hurry to cut short the phone call. When our intention is to give our time, but then, wow, I just can't afford it. I can't afford it. And then, and if we have ever been on the receiving end of it, we felt, we know it is like, it made us feel like we're taking someone's time, we are in the way of someone's life. That is a good example of how we might be engaging in the practice of generosity, but if we are not careful how we go about it, being a little stingy about it, it can also make someone feel unworthy

of our time, of our generosity. But if we are willing to let ourselves practice giving and recognizing our habitual tendency to be obsessed with our to-do list, which keeps us from being willing to be generous with our time for ourselves and for others, then we might be willing to, we might find ourselves to be capable of sitting there just to be with this person for an extra few minutes. We're not talking about

being there all day. We may be in our mind thinking, I don't have all day to do this. No one's asking you to be there all day. But in our mind, that few extra moments where we are not being in a hurry with ourselves, being in a hurry with others, that generosity will allow whoever we're with to feel loved, including ourselves, to feel loved by ourselves. And Don talked about generosity is a great practice, especially this time of the year. I don't know about you, this is a time that many people

just sort of have a little bit of space in their schedule and maybe like to get together with people you don't see all year. And I really appreciate Don talking about like cultivating this ability to appreciate our special affinity with each other of all the billions of people in the world. You happen to know these people. Now, it's easy to take that for granted. And I don't know if you have encountered that in our lives.

Sometimes we have people that just get lazy about staying in touch. And you might have encountered people in your life that's like, you are always the one initiating to get together with them. Like, they never reach out.

So by being the person to initiate getting together, it is actually a form of generosity because you take the person to initiate getting together, it is actually a form of generosity because you take the time to make something possible. If you don't initiate a get-together, there's no get-together. And I don't know if you notice, that happens to my friends all the time. It's like, oh, it's just so nice that we get to get together. But then it takes the generosity of someone to be willing to do that.

That can be a way for us to engage in the practice of generosity. When we are giving, if we expect reward or recognition in return, that can cause resentment. And this is one such place. Maybe it's like, I'm always the one organizing the get-together. And everybody takes it for granted. Nobody thanks me for that. And then we get upset. It's like, I'm not going to do it anymore. So when we recognize that, it's like, oh, interesting, interesting.

That's what I mean by do I give with the expectation of being recognized? It's not that easy to give and give without reward and recognition and appreciation. It is very, very difficult. Any one of you who have done that as parents, as teachers, you will know. But that is the practice that we are engaging in. So we're not talking about not asking for recognition where that is appropriate in our work. But we are talking about when we are using it as a practice of generosity. And we cannot control what other people do.

We cannot force other people to appreciate us. And when that doesn't come around, what are we gonna do? Do we get all upset and then turn this practice of generosity into a practice of creating suffering? So, or we can give just to give without expecting reciprocity. And so I would also like to encourage you to look into the practice of cultivating this awareness

of other people's generosity. Because when we kind of cultivate, when we are practicing generosity, it's like, oh, but other people, they don't recognize my generosity. And then we stop because I'm just giving and giving and giving and nobody. Nobody is giving back. Nobody is recognizing it. Then we get frustrated and we'll stop. We feel being taken for granted.

And when we practice cultivating awareness of other people's generosity, we'll discover a few things. For one thing is that we cultivate in ourselves the ability not to take other people's generosity for granted. And we also cultivate more awareness of how different people are engaging in acts of generosity and learn from them so that we can be better at our practice of generosity.

It's like, I never thought that I could do that. So, for example, I had a friend who was flying from California last week to work in the city. After working all week, she found time to get together with me during the weekend when she probably would rather be resting before she had to travel, make her next travel. And I was like, wow, that was so generous of her with her time. I'm sure she had a long to-do list she didn't have to she didn't have to do what she did but she did it and so I learned from her generosity

and of course I also appreciated her generosity of her time and of course we end up having a really wonderful time getting together and when we cultivate awareness of other people's generosity, we also can see that the idea that there is someone being generous

and someone is receiving someone else's generosity is a bit of an erroneous view, that we cannot be generous if there's no one who we can be generous towards. So this whole business of generosity, there's someone being giving and generous and someone who is the recipient of this generosity. It's just like a conventional way of thinking about it, but without someone who is there for us to give our time, there's no opportunity for us to do this giving anyway.

So this is also a good opportunity for us to contemplate the teaching of emptiness, of interconnectedness, that it just happens that in this time, I'm the one who is the giving person, and you are the one who is receiving whatever that's being given. But if we cultivate this awareness of other people's generosity, we recognize that sometimes I'm the recipient of someone's generosity.

And that allows us to see how deep our interconnectedness is. It's a very different perspective from a self-centered world that I'm the one doing the generosity. It's like, oh, sometimes I'm giving, sometimes you are giving. We're all in this world together.

How lovely is that? And it is also a very useful practice for us to recognize how much kindness, generosity is out there. There are people doing all kind of things, all kind of things that we don't even know but we benefit from. My other student brought up the story of this gentleman

who has been engaging in a protest of a nuclear plant on the Hudson River, and for years and years and years, nobody even really paid him very much attention. And finally, it's going to, something's going to do something about it. And recognizing that someone out there,

a lot of people are there to doing something that we benefit from, help us see that there is so much love and care and generosity in our world. And that also serves as an antidote to cynicism and hopelessness that we might feel in our world. So let's do some meditation together that will allow us to stabilize our mind and help us recognize the intention,

however subtle they might be in our action. Make ourselves comfortable. Feel. We feel the relaxation on the top of our head. And feel the relaxation spread to the forehead. Feel the relaxation spread to the eyeballs and eye muscles. and feel the relaxation spread to the facial muscles. And check to see if we're holding tension in our face. Perhaps to hold a facial expression for the world to see, and allow the tension And feel the relaxation spread to the entire head. And feel the relaxation spread down the neck muscles. like melting butter

allowing the tension to melt away and feel the relaxation spread to the shoulder muscles. And feel the relaxation spread down the arms, the forearms, and all the way to the fingertips. and feel the relaxation spread to the chest area and check to see if we're holding tension in this area perhaps because of the habits of anxiety, sadness, worry, we can give them a rest and allow the tension to melt away.

And feel the relaxation spread to the lower abdomen. And we hold a lot of tension. spread to the lower abdomen. We hold a lot of tension in this area by habit. Trusting that the skeletal structure can hold up the body. Allow. Allow the tension to melt away. And feel the relaxation spread to the upper back allowing the tension to melt away And feel the relaxation spread down the back.

All the way to the lower back. And down to our buttocks, where we feel the body sitting. Right here, right now. And feel the relaxation spread to the entire body. Sitting right here, right now. And as we sit, we notice the subtle changing sensations as the body breathes. We can use these changing sensations to anchor our mind our mind to the present moment gently. And we notice

the mind drifting, losing contact with the body sitting. No problem. Just make use of that as an opportunity to practice coming back. Moment after moment. And there's no need to chase out

any thoughts that come through. You see thoughts arising allow it to come through notice what's there Notice what's there. Notice what's there. And allow it to go away on its own. Thank you. Thank you.... Thank you, Rebecca. Thank you, Rebecca. Thank you for listening. Have a mindful day.