Miss Me? - A New Era

Episode Date: June 11, 2026

Miquita Oliver and Jordan Stephens reveal the next Miss Me? evolution plus memorable cultural exits.This episode contains very strong language and adult themes. Credits: Producer: Natalie Jamieson Technical Producer: Danny Pape Assistant Producer: Caillin McDaid and Scarlett Hutton Production Coordinator: Tom Jackson Executive Producer: Dino Sofos Commissioning Producer for BBC: Jake Williams Commissioners: Dylan Haskins & Lorraine Okuefuna Miss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK. On the open road, conditions change. Your composure doesn't have to. But technologies like terrain response to and clear sight ground view, Range Rover Sport brings confidence and control the challenging conditions. Explore more atrangerover.ca. She's one of the best-selling music artists of all time. Rising to fame as a member of R&B group Destiny's Child

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This episode of Miss Me for the BBC contains very strong language, adult themes, and a big bloody announcement. Big day! It's the end of an era. It's the end of an era. Correct, Jordan. It is an end of an era. Welcome everyone to Miss Me,

which it just, it isn't just like a normal miss me. It's actually a poignant miss me. Makita, sorry, are those voices I hear in the background. Is that actually coming from your kitchen? Family. Yeah, do you come say how's Jordan? Oh, Andy, is that Andy? Of course it's my mother.

Have you put the whole family? Everyone's here for this very special poignant episode. episode. I should have known you to do this. No, do you know, it's not even like rehearsed or anything. I should have worn a shirt. It's not like that. Mum's here.

Hi, baby, love. Okay, I can't be annoyed now. I can't be annoyed. And then wait, Phoebe, come say hi to Jordan because he likes me. He likes me. Only a little bit. Come and be witchy for Jordan.

I knew it. Yeah. I knew. Yeah. And Zed. Spiritual Phoebes. Let's go. Decided be more excited to see Phoebe.

Phoebe's making a cane. I call me soon for a... But reading, reading number two, yeah. That's a good point, actually, Jordan. Wait, what? Oh, do reading number two. For audio listeners, Jordan's recent reading in Sri Lanka with Phoebe Tara reading is still his screensaver.

We're well over-jured. That's beautiful. Everybody's over-jured with you, Phoebe reading. Right, okay. Thanks, guys. McKee, can you ask them politely to talk slightly, slightly quiet? No, they're leaving now. He said, can you ask them politely to talk slightly quieter?

Fuck you Fuck you Can I say to talk very quickly No, ma'am I'm proud of you I'm very proud of you both You rock, you're amazing You change the universe

You change the world You make it better Oh, mum That's very kind That's very sweet I love you That's a lovely Go with the goddesses

It's a lovely bit of magic For us to have Because it's Yeah what magic that was What a foray of ethereal joy I guess it's even nicer because you're so far away from home I'm going to say that's nice to be you because you're 6,000 miles away You don't have to hear them

No quite But also like you know A little slice of family when you're off on your adventures Which we will talk about But we must say that the reason today's episode is so poignant Because today Jordan and I hold hands Jump into the abyss of commercial world And we are leaving the BBC

Our Home since inception Since the inception of Miss Me Yeah Can I just say that Miss me is not over today. This is not today the end of Miss me. This is very much an ending for a new beginning. I think we might have sounded like we were just going tomorrow. No, no.

Very much more Miss Me, even more. There's going to be loads of Miss Me. We'll talk about my complicated relationship with the establishment later. In your home. It's your home. It is my home. But, you know, I've had to think about why and what it means to me and why I had so much pride in starting this project somewhere like the BVB.

Not to mention thanks for the massive bus campaign. That was a great. That was great. I've never been on a bus. It's been a beautiful two and a half years, but it's time for new shit. It's time for the new world. Forcing me to be a modern human being, Jordan.

Yes. I'm literally getting so I've still bled by Andy. I can't have been saying. Mom, you've got to keep it down. We're still recording. I can hear it. That really works. It's sending me so much.

I'm sorry. I don't know why. Do you know why? Because it's not actually picking her up properly. It's just like, I'm trying to listen to you to saying something quite profound and deep about your experience. And I'm all to hear. There's just chatting shit. Yes, listen.

Well, I think we should actually save the depths, the true exploratory depths of your wonderfully roller coaster career. Because it is a true story of the up, down, yo-yo redemption arc vibe essence. Oh, I thought we were just going to talk about the last two and a half really success. for you so we have to go no no back yeah well if you want to

discuss why why BBC means so much to you very much so yeah you're right I think we should because I think it's interesting it's interesting to like

explore the concept of like a name or a logo or whatever can carry with it like a deeper resonance for people you know yourself included absolutely signs and symbols all the fucking way and you know what that means

not to mention like you know I think also it's like my whole life has been part of like big TV establishments. My whole, sorry, career. See, that's what I mean. I say my whole life. Like, it's so intense.

Yeah, but it's been a lot of your life, Makita. You were like 15. Yeah. This is a big day. Although obviously I started my career on Channel 4, but we'll talk about that later. There is a modern world that you're going to get into. That is growing.

And it looks tasty. And I'm curious about it. So weirdly, I was at South by Southwest Festival around East London, all last week. First I was there for ropes and we were talking about skipping and sports within youth culture and breaking down those barriers

of what sport is for which people, which was great. That felt great. And then I did a panel with our producer, Dino, and I don't like going to work without him. Jamie Lang was there, obviously. And, I mean, literally, since we had that conversation,

I've now done three jobs with him. Yes, the power of manifestation. But can I just say, before we move on to the podcasting thing, One thing I want to, when you say about the new world before I forget, the exciting thing about moving into the new world for you is you get to move into the new TV. Yes, it's true. Which is for episodes on YouTube, which, like, I don't have the same experience as you with this departing

because I've like, I don't know how to describe my experience as an analogy. Like, I guess the train was already going to a different station and I just hopped on for the end of the ride. Right, right. This is your personal miss me journey. Got it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm just there like, oh, this is a cool journey. Why don't we go that way?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, actually, I have a Paul Simon song to sing to you later. Hey, two first names. It really expresses how your courage and your sort of intrepid nature. That's probably more appropriate than courage. See, I know, I think it takes courage. To leave home. Okay, you know what, I'll accept it.

Yes. We're like Dick Whittington. Exactly, you're a nomad, so you don't give a shit. I'm like, I think just the last. Few records of Miss Me show, like how much moving to different places doesn't bother you and how much when I was on my mum's sofa having nervous breakdown, it bothers me. Yeah. That's good.

You know, yang. Yeah, yeah. But good like that. Oh, there she is. Shout. There's she's. Excuse me, you're taking the dog, remember? Oh, my God.

Half the reason they're here is because I have to do something tonight and they're taking the dog. Where's the room? In the cupboard. Wow. Zedi, they were just going to leave your ass. They were going to leave Zeddy. Zeddy can't go out with her dog walker at the moment. He called me to say, I can't take her out this week.

Because I know, as I said, she's fine. Yeah, she's fine. But she's also a whore. Oh, she's on heat. Have you not got, have you not? Hold on, hold on. You haven't had her womb taken out. This is her last season.

And then that's happening, getting fixed. It's horrible. It's a horrible decision to have to make. Dude, Miquita, when Mimi, She was a rescue, so maybe it's different rules. I don't know. But like, when Mimi was on heat, it was not usual what was happening.

Like, I'm saying, I'm seeing dogs sprinting across the park, full speed, bro. And she was down, by the way. This is what I'm saying, Zeddy's two down. That is what my dog Walker had to sort of tell me with, I think he was, I think he was embarrassed to tell me. Absolutely. Back on track, back on track.

All right. So, no mad. I'm a nomad. I'm on the train. And also, all I was saying was, was when I got on the train, lovely train, beautiful train created by yourself and Lily Allen. Wonderful train. Stopping at so many destinations, genuinely.

So some destinations, the public wasn't prepared for. Some destinations you yourselves were unprepared for. Yeah, yeah. That's a really good way of putting it. Right. And I went on and went, you know, we could film this whole train journey. I was like, well, with cameras. More cameras.

We could film this whole train journey and put it on a train tour. on YouTube. Listen, I'm not a complete Luddite, right? You are a little bit. You're a little bit. I learned a lot at South by Southwest. I learned a lot about this modern world of podcast. And I think, I suppose, what's interesting to me is Miss me started two and a half years ago.

And even since then, things have completely changed. No, you're massively. Like, the world is moving. And as Jamie Lang said, he thinks AI is going to be a huge part of this world soon. I don't know how I feel about that. He said that he thought formats were going to be really big, which is essentially kind of old school television, completely moving to this dimension.

So he's like quizzes, things like come dine with me. He thinks they'll sort of be like audio, visual shows. People aren't saying podcasts anymore, by the way, which is great because I fucking hate that word. And I always have. What they're saying? Shows. They're just shows now, 360 shows.

What does podcast mean? Me and Lily looked into it once. And it was, I think it had something to do. Didn't have something to do with the iPod. Oh, yeah. Like Apple pod cast. Oh, casting radio show onto your pod. I do believe that there might be maybe a few too many people

with mics in the world now. But I do understand the idea of being a creative and there being an opening to actually just get something done. Get it up. That's exciting for people that are always behind a barrier of some sort. The same conversation is being had in music. There are so many people that everyone can have their own little, I mean, I don't want to use the word empire, but I guess like,

Empire or cult were the two words that came to my head, both really negative. The communities, communities. That's better. You have your own little communities. Like, I think we think there's a scarcity of attention because we think, oh my God, there's a billion podcast. No one could possibly listen to all the podcasts,

but then you think, no, but you only really need, like, however, like a certain amount of people to listen to your podcast every week, definitely, you know, and contribute, definitely. All about growth, growth, growth, growth, growth, not all about that, genuinely. Absolutely. That's like Jamie said as well. That's something Jamie said is.

See? See? The prophet. Yes. I think he's very sweet. And what he's doing is kind of new breed of podcast. And I think it is, I don't think he's the right word. I'm interested and curious. But it is crazy that someone who's come from where he has

is sitting in the place that he is now and now telling the industry what he thinks is right for it. It's kind of mad how that can happen. It is mad. But watching it develop is fascinating. And also he's, like I said before, I'm not going to go with Jamie Lang again, but him and Sophie have gone to like maximum transparency. I don't think I could do that.

So like it hasn't come without zero. Not at a price, exactly. And then I saw Michelle Obama at South by Southwest. So I finished my talk and then the people organizing us rushed us across brick lane and got us in. And I swear to God, it was not easy to get in. Like everyone in London was trying to get into Truman Brewery to see Michelle Obama talk. And fair enough, how often has she? in shoreditch doing a talk.

She's not knocking about in Shoredish that much, to be honest. God, she looked good. God, she's wise. And when she talks, people listen, right? When she talks, people listen. Someone said to me, obviously there was a bit of Habab about whether she would ever run for, and run for presidency of America.

And someone said, I genuinely think she could start her own party out of nowhere and still win. Like, this woman is loved. That definitely wouldn't happen. Okay. Do you think Michelle Obama would win the next presidential campaign? She might be the answer. She could be the answer.

That's two very different scenarios. Yes. Just given the current state of America, something tells me. She just waltz into this current climate. Something tells me that she would struggle. Listen, I would love her to run a dope campaign. It could happen.

You know what? It could. I mean, I've not seen her speak. Do you know what I mean? Having a black woman and that position is incredibly powerful, a dark-skinned black woman. But it's, you know, I just don't have the most faith in America right now. That's interesting that you say faith, because faith is what hope isn't.

Hope is for the hopeless, but faith's very different. Faith is a confidence and a calmness. I've been doing a lot of spiritual work in the last few weeks. Faith is confidence, is it? Yeah, confidence in the not-knowing. No, confidence in the not-knowing. In the unknown, boom. Exactly.

Let's go. Faith is confidence in the unknown. So that's now, right? With us leaving the BBC, I have faith. And you know what? What did George say? I was going to say. I was going to say.

fucking say. You got to say it. What did he say? He said, you've got to have it. It's just you've got to have it. You gotta have faith. Also, just as a side note,

there was like an end of conference party and yes, it was good before anyone starts visualising like, oh, look at these lame people from around the world coming to an academic summit and trying to know, man, we were in Brazil people.

Half the people were karaokes, they could move. Right? I just want to get that out the way. You're referring to your summit. Of course. So my Brazilian summit. I'm still in Rio for those who are wondering. I'm still in Rio.

And in the end of Summit Party, they put on freedom, Blair this shit out. Oh my God. I tell you what, man. Top 10 ever. Top 10 ever. I think I'm saying it right now.

Top 10 rhythms of all times. Oh, George Michael would be, would he be in your desert island discs? Faith. No, not faith. Although Faith does have the same guitar lick as Mama's either hump, just for those people who are interested. Oh, yeah.

Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. But no, seriously. End of Summit party rocked. Freedom. It's just like... Jordan! Did they play faith? Or did they play freedom?

Don't spin me out. You reminded me from us talking about faith that they played freedom by George Michael. Sorry, that's not what I thought. Freedom is my favorite George Michael song. By far. I want to let you down. Will not give you a...

That's freedom, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I've told you on this podcast, right, that I have like... Sorry, this show. That's right. that I have a mile ahead. I had a phobia of the saxophone solo in careless whisper.

I've said that to you. Yeah, you actually have, you fucking weirder. You actually have mentioned that fucking ridiculous story. Yes, it was the real thing. And then the hero that he is, he passed away. And I was like, I'm going to have to eat this phobia. I have to eat this shit, bro. I can't, I can't, like, be out of here dismissing.

We should. We really should do phobias because they're so strange. We've done. No, no, no, no. No, no. Mekita, we did them. No, we sort of talked about them, but I feel like it would be good for me. I promise you, no, sorry, Makita, as someone who loves you,

I really, really don't think that I'll be good for me. Okay, okay. Let's go back to what was actually good for me, which was the words of Michelle Obama. Yes, Michelle Obama, please. Give me another highlight. Well, it's interesting, she has a podcast. Of course she fucking does.

A show. A show. She's got a new show with her brother, Craig, who's had a really interesting life, a huge... So American, that name, sorry. I know. is the most American name. I know because I was like, is it Craig or Craig?

No, it's Craig, bro. C-R-E-D-G. It's Craig, but they say Craig. What? No, they don't say Craig David, surely not. They might, actually. There's no way. And they say Daniel Craig. Wait, so Craig's list is Craigslist.

Oh my God, it is. Yeah. I don't know it's spelled C-R-E-D-G. Oh, right. Right, because we're always like, what is Craig's list? It's Craigslist. It's Craigslist. It's Craig's list.

Which sounds more like somebody who would have a list. You know what I mean? I've got some flats for you. Craig's got loads of flats. It's not Craig's list, bro. And a flat got it. Yeah, when it was Craig's list, I didn't know who the fuck that was. Craig's list.

I'm up there, bro. Stick your notice on there. So her brother is called Craig. Let's call him Craig. And he's had a really interesting career, Jordan. He's had a really interesting career throughout sport and the NBA, but also in finance, which PS he calls finance. I can't.

Sounds French. Finance. Let's say she's the most powerful woman in the world. Let's say that, right? She's not, but sure. Okay, has been at times. Throughout her career, I think she has been at points one of the most listened to women in the world, right?

And not to mention what she went through as a first lady. Like, if you really think about the language that was used towards Michelle Obama. Of course, horrendous, still. Unbelievable. Yeah. Fucking legend. And that is in our recent, recent lifetime. And she is this man, Craig's little sister.

So there's something quite interesting about her. her being a little sister, but being Michelle Obama. I don't know whether that's why they put them together for the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I actually totally get what you mean. It kind of makes her what the definition of awe is, all at once big, all at once small. And it's a really interesting way to kind of receive her. I really enjoyed it.

And I was really close and I felt like, the only thing is I fucking wish I was interviewing her. I really, really wished I was. Who was it? Who did a shit job? No, they just spoke to it. I can just look it up right now I can just look up who interviewed Michelle Obama at South by South West

No they interviewed each other which was really good but then their producers made them do a quick fire question thing at the end which was just no it was Jordan and it was like

sausage roll or fish and chips I was like are we still here yeah what does she say she said fish and chips good answer that's a good answer are we learning anything about her I don't think so.

Yeah, she doesn't like sausage rolls, bro. You need to know that shit. Okay, let me put the other one in then. What is a spotted dick? And everyone's like, ha! Oh, Jordan, get a life. Yo. I think they could have ended it with something a bit more striking.

I think you need to take it up with whoever decided to name that fucking dessert and stuck by with it all these years, bro. I love that a spotted dick school to spot a dick is actually a really interesting story. And I can't believe we're still in the place where people laugh because there were dicks in it. It's like how we get a grip. No, I laughed because this is called the golden dog or the golden duck, no? That's what it's supposed to do. It's like, you know, in news.

Sorry. Oh, I know. Is it like cat up a tree? Yeah. So they'll be like, they'll be like, and, you know, 58 people like tragically lost their lives. And in other news, an odd woman climbed a tree to find a three-legged cat. Okay. No, no, no.

Thank you for giving that example because I would just end it with this. That's my point exactly. Their conversation was full of humour. and depth and incision trauma it went to all these places

and then they said our producers have given us this so that we can end on a light note which implies that the conversation before full of everything

wasn't light and didn't have humour and wasn't warm and we can't take it and we can't take it all in the same place thank you Jordan you know what

and infantilises Michelle Obama but you know yeah maybe you want maybe we want to be left wanting. Am I right? Am I right? So I think we should end this episode, this specific episode, not yet, with a quick game of this or that. Oh my God, fuck you. Let's go to a break because I've still got famous exit throughout time. So let's just go to a break. No, but I hear, listen, before we go to the break, I actually do completely understand what you mean. Thank you. Some of the most iconic,

not exits, but finishing or films series, for me, the kind of version I like, ambiguous. Leave it up in the air. How do you, how do you feel? I don't know. Have we answered any questions? Who knows? Did you watch last season have lost? We knew nothing and I love it. So you're and leave them wanting more, fucker? Let's go to a break. In the range rover sport, performance is more than a promise. It's something you feel

on every drive. With the choice of powerful mild hybrid and plug-in hybrid engines, range river sports responds instantly, bringing unbridled power and precise handling into perfect balance. Explore more at range rover.ca. What do Beatles member, Sir Paul McCartney, YouTube megastar, Mr. Beast, and former

Facebook executive Cheryl Sandberg all have in common. They're all being discussed in the new season of Good Bad Billionaire, the podcast which explores the lives and fortunes of the world's super rich. That's Good Bad Billionaire from the BBC World Service. Listen now, search for Good Bad Billionaire, wherever you get your BBC podcasts. Come back to Miss Me. You know what? I feel like this next step of Mistby reminds me of it. As I had used transport analogies already.

Go on. It's an alternate universe where in the original Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock film, speed where Dennis Hopper puts a speed limiter on the bus right and he says you can't go below 50 miles an hour or this shit's going to blow up so he has to basically find a motorway right where he can endlessly drive whilst slowly getting people off the bus but then his hopper is trying to do mad shit with the bus and then he goes to like a big jump across the yeah and then they realize that the motorway's got a gap in it yeah it's got a gap in it bro so then they're like no way are we going to make that anyway long story short they make it

And then in our reality is that bus just hits the ground. Dennis Hopper fucks off. And then we just go at like 45, 50, sometimes 100 when we want, but we can just drive the bus. We could be cruising, but we're in charge of the bus now. Yeah, we're in charge of the bus now. We're just actually like, in our reality. I'm Keanu Reeves, your Sandra Bullock.

What? I'm Keanu Reeves, right? I'll be Sandra Bullitt. She's such a bad man in that film. She is such a bad man. As I was saying that, Sandra Bullock is called her in that film. No, well, Donna Reeves, he's a bit green in that film. is O.G. Keanu.

I fucking love speed. I remember the first time I watched it. I was like, this is the most exciting film I've ever seen. Genuinely thrilling. Speed two, not so much. No, no. Cruise control. No, no.

I don't care about boats. I was like, oh, guys, this isn't the same. That's what we can't be. New Miss me cannot turn into speed two cruise control. Guys, it's not speed two. If it's going to be a sequel, it's more like Rush Hour 2, which is controversial. But listen, Rush Hour 2 is a,

great or aliens people say that's better than the original. With Godfather etc. Exactly. Okay wait so okay but hold on but we're not talking about sequels though. We're actually more talking about our exit and I think if you're going to sort of brush your hands through the wheels of time there are many exits that mirror this

exodus from the BBC the British Broadcasting Corporation that makes me emotional I am pathetic yeah tiny bit we'll talk about why But I think we'll start with Edward the eighth. Oh, you're going into, you've gone straight into the English,

the British history. Absolutely. As we leave the British, as we leave the British establishment, it's good to talk about Edward the eighth's abdication of his throne because he fell in love with Wallace Simpson. Now, you said you didn't know this story. Wallace? Yes.

So he has an affair with a woman who is a divorcee and an American, Jordan, an American. Wow. And she's stylish and smokes and drinks and drinks. The things we do for love. Right? He abdicates from the throne as the king of England. Okay? Well, I mean, I still think that's second to King Henry VIII,

like literally changing, like, the course of religious history just so he could marry, like, a 78th woman or some shit. No, he could divorce. So he could divorce. So he could divorce. Phoebe, what did Henry the 8th do? He changed the rules. She's not there.

She is. She's making a cake. Catherine of Aragon, babe. Catherine of Avaregan, babe. Thank God, Phoebe's here. Come come. Was it so he could kill her? So he could divorce her.

Oh, divorce. He was with Catherine for ages. He was with Catherine. He was with Catherine. He was divorced her for Ambelin. He murdered Ambelin. Not murdered, Phoebe. He did murder Ambelin.

He did murder Ambelin. State execution. Yeah, I know, but it was part of a sort of set up that was in place in law. Yeah, yeah. Amblin for life. That's some gangster shit. Ambulin for life, John says. Thank you, Phoebe.

There's also, there's a particular, you know, Holyoke's exit that you were talking about the other day that was making me a crease. Claire. Claire. You want me to relive the glory days of British soap. There was a peak for me, Holyoaks. It was in the early noughties.

The soundtrack, the music, the storylines, the characters, it was, we're talking the valentines. We're talking like, yo, we're talking like Warren, like trying to take over the club. Like, we're talking about Claire. We're talking about justice,

can I just tell you how incredible this is story? I want people to relive this, how beautiful this is that storytelling. They built up an entire thing. Remember there was adverts running. They're bringing up like, what's going to happen? Oh, yeah. There's like potential killers.

Who's going to be the one who does it, right? Crazy, right? So in this episode, I remember it. It would have been a Friday night. Obviously, people were staying in to watch Hollywood and go out afterwards, right? Something like that. She's in the club.

Someone, they did POV. Of course they did. They did POV running at Claire. No, they did it. No, they did. So POV murderer. A VOV murderer. A VOV.

Claire, then she gets knocked off the balcony. No, but it keeps you have to... Oh, in the club! Yeah, yeah, yeah, you have to deep this with me. No, you have to eat this with it, because it's actually unreal. She got knocked off the balcony, right? And you're like, oh, my God, someone has actually killed Claire. Like, this is crazy, right?

She was running rampant in Chester. Stop it. And she killed Claire. And then this is where Hollyoics, this is where Holliux was unmatched, right? After Claire's died, right? Justin, who's one of the suspects. Played by Chris Fontaine. Oh, yeah, he seems to be him.

Yeah, right. He runs away. So you're thinking, oh my God, it's him who's done it. And then he just gets hit by a car, driven by Warren. Oh, my God. Suspect number one, gone. They do the thing. Is that when you realised that Warren killed her?

No, you don't know that Warren killed her. Oh, do you know? No, no, no. Warren becomes chief suspect. But there's multiple. There's multiple suspects. Claire pissed a lot of people off. Right, okay.

She clears loads of people off. So like I can't actually remember who did kill her But it was just like it was they do it in horror all the time The idea of like you're building suspense towards one point And you relax because you think the things happened And then bang! Yeah, they get you. Totally.

The main point is the producers for Holyoke's changed Which include some producers from EastEnders And then mysteriously Claire The actress that played Claire Then appeared in EastEnders as a character called Claire And this lives adjacent to exiting. This is called Jumping the Shark which is when something beyond belief happens

and we all go along with it and it's taken from Happy Days when Fonzie is in a race and he jumps over a shark and everyone went oh happy days has gone a bit too far I now don't believe anything they do and it's a really crucial moment in television

can I just say it's a homage to Holyoaks because by the way Hollyoaks had won a couple TV awards recently so there's something going on like it's a vibe Anyway. This was the glory days. I have not seen it recently, but I would say that at low point for Holyoics

was the fact that Warren included, who fucking hit Justin with a car, he then gets left in a burning building tied to a chair. He tries to escape, falls down a flight of stairs, and then looks up as a mirror falls on his face in his building

that then burns to the ground. And when does he come back? When does he pop back up? Unbelievable. That's a jumping the shark. Yeah, but only because he came back, though. Yeah, of course. The exit was just standard soap fair.

Yeah, wow, Warren Dyer. Awful fire in Bad Club on the corner. Standard. I think Everdale have done the same. It's fine. This is what I thought they were sorry, before we move on, can I just say,

this is why I always thought, this is such like an abstract way to look at soap opera's part. I just always thought, like, if you lived in Albert Square, imagine how cheap that house would be. You just literally be like, oh, this is a really nice,

house. So much bad shit has happened here. Yeah. Guys, this is such a great area. Why is this house so cheap? Well, if someone dies every Christmas. Yeah,

every Christmas, that's a really fucking big disaster. Every Christmas. But that's what I thought about midsummer murders the other day. And I watched this gardening show sometimes, this gardening sort of drama series called Rosemary in Time with Felicity Kendall.

Sorry, can we just have a moment for that bar? This might be why I'm not ready for the modern. world because that's how I like to get down. Rosemary in time. Click, click, click, click. When's the next bar? And I was thinking I was like, God, every gardening job they get, there's a

murder. No matter where they are. It's like a bit. Come on. When did they become the suspect? At one point they go, Jesus, every time you guys weed someone... The only common denominator is Rosemary in bloody time. Let's stop hiring them as gardeners.

Okay, back to just back to our exit. We have to discuss one of the greatest exits. Hit me. Heartbreaking exits of all time. Come on. Wilson. Oh, don't. Wilson. Look I was forgetting about Wilson, just like he was forgotten in the ocean. Do you know what's beautiful? Somewhere Wilson has landed on another island. And he has a whole other sequel. Well, if we were talking about Wilson, the Wilson ball in Castaway, I said it's so, it's so clever in the storytelling to make you care so much about an inanimate object. Yeah. Only really, when the object is lost.

That's when you suddenly realise when you're like, no, wasn't, don't go. But then you said, it's not that. It's not that we care about. We care about how much Tom Hanks cares about it. And that's where our human connection kind of becomes full circle and you're suddenly crying about a fucking football in an ocean with literally a pen smile on it.

But it becomes so personified that ball. It means so many things. It is beautiful. It's a volleyball. Sorry. I think as an indication of like the power of, incredible storytelling and writing. I remember there's a book, a series I'm slowly reading,

like to kind of give me break from nonfiction, and it's a really famous quartet. Yeah, quartet. For example. My brilliant friend is the first book. I'm reading the second one. I can't remember what the names are, bloody are. But anyone who's read the books will completely know what I mean.

They're like international bestsellers. Is there one called The Daughter? The Lost Daughter was made into a film with Olivia Coleman and directed by Maggie Gyllenhawn, though? Okay, so The Lost Daughter. as a separate story, I think. Oh, okay. But same author.

My brilliant friend is the first one. The second one is the story of a new name, I think. Then it's those who leave and those who stay. And then the story of the lost child, right? These are like the four books. But the reason I'm saying this is what I found so compelling about this first book is that it's obviously where they live is the main character. That's like a really important part of storytelling,

which is why castaway is brilliant too because obviously the island is the character. So you're like compelled by this character. There is one inciting incident, which is that somebody dies. But other than that, it's just these two teenage girls, basically. One girl talking about her friend.

But there's a moment at the end of the book, which is so like, I wish I could verbalise how cool this is. All that happens is a character walks in in a pair of shoes. That's it. But the fact they walked in, in those pair of shoes,

means everything. And I literally remember putting the book down and being like, fuck me, people can write. Like, you know what I mean? Like, some people are tapped into this, other, you're like, oh, oh, always about to go down. See, that's not Warren's death in the club in Holyox.

That's the other storytelling. But I feel like they are all, I don't know, powerful in their own right. Now that's storytelling. What she did is storytelling. I've actually heard Elefranter is going to be the new associate writer on Holyoaks. She's here to really bring it back. No, we can't. No, can I just, sorry.

Can I just say we cannot this holly oaks? Listen, just because you're traumatized by introducing it a thousand times doesn't mean you can just slander it like fucking 15 years later. I have, I forgot I have a really deeply personal T4 relationship with hollioch. Yeah, sorry.

Sorry, I'm sick of it in a dinner. Yes, we got it. You threw to hollioaks. It would literally be like, you say something, I say something. Here's holliox. Here's holliox. That was my 20s.

That was my 20s. I gave everyone hollioes. I gave you holliox. You're welcome, if any, think. No, I do. I actually once pissed the entire cast of Holyoics off because I insulted Holyoics. But I do remember Gary.

Are we still talking about Holyo? Yeah, we are. The guy who was also in footballers wives, Gary Lucy. And he had a storyline where he was raped by his teammates. And it was done so well. And we were very young. Redemption. I was about 18 when it was on.

Oh my God. Yes. brave of the writers at Holyoaks, nothing like that had ever been in a soap opera. And this was Peak Hollyoaks, right? Peak Hollyoaks. Ooh, 2002 or something. Let's find out where those writers were.

What were those then? Whoa, and you know what they did so well? They did his trauma afterwards. They handled that well. Even like six months later, he was still in it. It was part of his storyline. Do you know what I mean? The fact that it was brilliantly done.

So there you go. But I want to talk about storytelling when it comes to how I want to talk about our exit from the BBC And of course, listen bitch next week will be our final episode for the BBC. And we want to say thank you for fucking everything. It's been a beautiful partnership. Can we just talk about what we've done, Miss Me in the BBC?

I would never have thought that a tiny little idea that a few people had would turn into what Miss Me has become and done for people. And it's helped people. It's been people's companion. This really does sound like we're dying. So we will continue to do all those things. But I feel very, very proud of what missed me and the BBC have done together. And thank you for your help in doing that. Me?

No, I was talking to the BBC. But you do. Oh, right. Yeah, no, I'm not. No, like, I think there does need to be a moment of true respect and appreciation for what you and Lil did, man. Oh, Jordan, and what you and I are doing. Seriously. I'm also very, can I just say, I'm also genuinely in life bad at goodbyes generally.

Don't worry. I'm going to, I've got a friend to help us talk about this exit. He's called Paul Simon. He has a song. which is appropriate for me, called 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover. And this is appropriate for me because I, I suppose I do. Want to have sex with the BBC. I want to fuck them.

You want to fuck that. You've been wanting to fuck the BBC for years. I very much respect the role that BBC plays in British society genuinely. BBC is responsible, like you've said continuously, for game-changing, like shows, TV shows, series, like podcasts, they've done. Fuck, yeah. Planet Earth, in my opinion, by the way, just as a side note, I think is actually one of the best shows ever made. Yeah, 50 ways to leave your lover, right? Slip out the bag, check, make a new plan, Stan. You don't need to be coy, Roy, and get yourself free. Hop on the bus, Gus. You don't need to discuss much. Just drop off the keely and get yourself free.

Thank you, Jordan. Thank you, Paul Simon. Jump on the bus, Gus. We don't need to discuss much. Listen, Simon got bar. What are we talking about? What I'm saying? So that's all we'll say for. now. Paul Simon said it better than us and we will see you on Monday for ListenBitch. The theme is hobbies. It's hobbies. On Listen bitch on Monday, the theme is hobbies. We will see you then for our last ever show with this great corporation we call the BBC. And you will see us on every social media platform available. Yeah, that too.

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