Miss Me? - A Pound A Poo

Episode Date: May 22, 2025

Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver discuss the power of TikTok, their connection to Made In Chelsea and who should be on The Real Housewives of London.This episode contains very strong language and adult themes. Credits: Producer: Flossie Barratt Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Assistant Producer: Caillin McDaid Production Coordinator: Hannah Bennett Executive Producers: Dino Sofos and Ellie Clifford Assistant Commissioner for BBC: Lorraine Okuefuna Commissioning Editor for BBC: Dylan Haskins Miss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

BBC Sounds music radio podcasts. This episode of Miss Me contains some very strong language and some adult themes. So if you're not an adult, then you should just be careful listening. Okay? Get out of there. Be mindful that what you're listening to is adult. Adulty. Hi. Hello from New York. Hi.

Hello from New York. Hi. Hello from New York. Exciting time in your city at the moment, isn't it? Oh, what, because of the Knicks? Yeah. They won the playoffs against the Boston Celtics. But this is like a big deal right because they haven't actually done well since like early 2000 which is extraordinary. I keep hearing the 90s being battered around it's the best they've played since the 90s so um. Embarrassing. Well it's yeah

it has been quite a good vibe everyone's been like out on the streets this weekend wearing their Nick's attire. And, um, people seem very, very happy and very pleased. So all those people have been quite dedicated fans that have been watching by the sidelines for 20 years of like not much glory, like Ben Stiller and Cardi B and Timothee Chamoulet and stuff. They they've just been diehard Knicks fans without much reward until now. Yeah, it's like being a Fulham fan in England. Pain is part of supporting any kind of sports team. So it takes over the city. Does it feel like all of America are paying attention to

what's happening in New York right now with the Knicks? Well, I'm only in New York, so I can't tell you what it feels like in the rest of America. But I think that, you know, people are invested because, you know, now that they've won these playoffs, they go into another and the next round with the Pacers. I would show I don't know where they're from. Have a look. Oh, the Indiana Pacers. Yes, I heard this is the Indiana Pacers. The Indiana Pacers. Do they have chants?

I was looking for the Knicks chant and I couldn't really find anything apart from like a hey, hey, goodbye, which also seemed rather polite. Yeah, they don't really have chants. I've been to quite a lot of Knicks games. We go with the kids sometimes and it is really fun. Yeah, I really enjoy it.

But no one chants. It's not like, they don't have like their songs like we do football in England. It might, other teams might, but I haven't witnessed it at the basketball. It's a bit cooler than that, I think. It is a bit cooler than that. Little bit cooler.

Although actually, maybe because I have been to see the baseball here. I went to see the Yankees play last year. They had not chance but like, woo-ray like things that they do, you know? Yeah, of course, Mexican wave, sure. But this is all still quite polite. English people are unbelievable. When I was looking, I found a chant that the Birmingham FC were singing to which is like, your mom is your dad's sister. Yeah. Oh, mom. I was like, it

was so awful to each other. Ours are really about tearing each other down and sometimes specific players. Absolutely. And also other spectators. You're going, I'm in a fucking ambulance. If you were American and you came to a British sporting game, you'd be like, what did they just say? Why is this so nasty? The referee's a pedo. The referee's a pedo. The referee's a pedo. It's the last place on earth where there are no morals or boundaries.

Some of them just don't make any sense. I remember when I used to go to Fulham with my dad, when I was in my early teens, maybe, my dad and his six mates that he'd take every week would make up the most ridiculous chants. There was a player called Luis Boa Morte, and they had had this chant that went, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BOA, BO Goa Morte wears pink knickers every day. So just bringing him the fuck out. I don't even know why, why. Yeah, it was just, yeah.

I don't know where they came from. Anyway. I wonder what kind of sport Team Trump supports. Is he vocal about that? Does he talk about who he likes? Golf, he likes golf. Oh, he loves golf, yeah. He loves golf. Has he said anything about the Knicks? No, he hasn't said anything about the golf. Oh, he loves golf. Yeah. He loves golf.

He said anything about the Knicks? No, he hasn't said anything about the Knicks. I don't think he's been too busy talking about the jet that he was given by the Qataris. In America, they call Qatar, Qatar. I don't know why. No, Qatar. Qatar. Oh, yeah, like cutter. Cutter. Cutter. It's cutter. But I don't think it's cutteries. I think it's Qataries.

But they say cutter. Anyway, there's been much talk about Donald Trump and his accepting of the jet from the cutteries this week. Yeah, it's a big old Boeing 747, isn't it? That's a nice gift, isn't it? Just a bit. Apparently, I mean, I listened to like a few different podcasts that were talking about it this week and they were saying that he'd insinuated that it was going to replace Air Force One and him like flagging off Air Force One because it's 40 years old and it's like,

you know, not as up to date as the beautiful thing that Qatar have given him. The Qatari equipment, yeah. You know, I think that, you know, national security might have something to say about a jet given to you by a foreign country. Like they have to take every single thing apart bit by bit, check that it hasn't got, you know, bugs and stuff. And then like, recondition it to make it, you know, all the technology that Air Force One would need on it to be able to, you know, keep tabs on the rest of the world and what's going on and be able to keep in communication with it.

But haven't the Democrats said that you actually just can't, as an elected official, you can't accept something from a foreign country without consent from the Congress. I'm sure they have, yeah. But I don't think that... He's just big fat doing it anyway. Donald Trump really necessarily listens to them. I think that they're... Have we got a clip of him talking about how silly it would be for him as a businessman not to accept a jet? So I think it's a great gesture from Qatar. I appreciate it very much.

I would never be one to turn down that kind of an offer. I mean, I could be a stupid person and say, no, we don't want a free, very expensive airplane. But it was, I thought it was a great gesture. And I think it was a gesture because of the fact that we have helped and continue to, we will continue to, all of those countries, Saudi Arabia, UAE, Qatar and others, we keep them safe. If it wasn't for us they probably wouldn't exist right now. What a guy!

He doesn't seem to give a shit though. Speaking of no means no, I'm nearly two weeks into a complete social media ban. I'm sort of doing that, but not, it's just not even, I didn't make a decision, I just can't bear to look at it. Tell me how free you feel. Well, interestingly enough, I think like, the beginning of last week, I was feeling incredibly low,

like lower than I felt in months. It was extremely heavy. This was like a different kind of sadness, heaviness, loneliness, whatever. And then I realized maybe this is because I'm not filling the gaps with scrolling, doom scrolling. I've suddenly got this time for like reflection

or do you know what I mean? Like, because I don't have that much to do here in New York during the day. You know, I've run sort of like various errands and I get food ready for the girls when they get home from school and I meet up with people for lunch and I'm very active in my recovery.

But like, you know, in terms of work, there's not much going on. And so, you know, I guess I would find myself, you know, sitting on Instagram and scrolling or, you know, being narcissistic and posting and reading my, you know, responses to my getting that dopamine fix. And I haven't had it for nearly two weeks. And I think it made me initially really sad. I think I was having like withdrawal symptoms from it. Well, yeah, withdrawal symptoms. Yeah, like something's lacking or kind of getting something

out of your system. Yeah. Like any drug. It was horrible. I mean I really did feel like I was withdrawing from drugs or something. It was crazy but it took me a minute to think, oh yeah it's probably that. Maybe that's why I've been a bit depressed because I usually, you know, I used to really quite like a little outfit picture on Instagram and like this jeans from charity shop number one and little top from here. What am I going to do? Take a picture in like Garfield's office

where the big mirror is. I'm just like, I don't want to be photographing my clothes. I'm not really getting dressed at the moment if I can help it. So I feel like I don't wanna be photographing my clothes, not really getting dressed at the moment if I can help it. So I feel like I don't have any sort of adoration or kind of compliments, like daily compliments that I was quite used to. Yeah, you're not getting fed, you're not getting fed. No, but I also don't wanna eat from that bowl. I know, I know, neither do I.

It's so bad for us, but. It's not just it's so bad for us, Lil, I just feel a bit like, it feels a bit stupid and silly and you know when you have a bit of time away from it, the weirder and sillier it becomes. Yes, totally. And also, but what I have noticed is that, you know, because I've had this extra free time on my hands, I've been like listening to, you know, like clever podcasts, and I've been reading more and I've been working on my scripts and I've been writing a little bit more and I feel like I'm hella more like proactive as a result. And I think it will

make me feel, it certainly makes me feel more, I'm more informed about the world because I'm not concentrating on, you know, what the world thinks about me or, you know, focusing on my peers or whatever and, and just vacuous nonsense, you know, like what, why do we spend so much time just looking at rubbish? We did talk about this as well, nourishing ourselves with kind of art and culture and work, but like sort of creativity, I suppose, not work, but creativity. But you've also been doing great things. What were you doing with Planned Parenthood? What happened? Are you like an ambassador? I don't think I'm an ambassador. I would be an ambassador if they asked me. But no, I

just got, I've been to their Planned Parenthood Spring Gala here a couple of times before but this year I got asked to go to present Olivia Rodrigo, my Bezi, with her award because she does a lot of work for Planned Parenthood and donates a lot of money to them and also talks about, you know, women's reproductive rights a lot on stage to her plans and her audience. Yeah, I think she has like, you know, like Planned Parenthood even have like pop-ups at her gigs and she hands out condoms and yeah. This is amazing. It's so, could you explain what it is for people that could, I mean, the thing is it's

such a household name even here, which is such fantastic news because what they do is so important. And if we have an equivalent of it, it would be, as you told me the other day, Marie's Stoops. Yeah. Or just like any, you know, family planning clinic. So it's- Yeah. But those family planning clinics are hush, hush, swept under the carpet and people don't talk about them in public society. Really? Yeah.

Well, they should. But if you see the look on people's faces in family planning clinics, I mean, I'm sure everyone's not like high-fiving each other in Planned Parenthood, but there's just this level of secrecy and shame. Oh, it's terrible here because you, I mean, like there are a few Planned Parenthood clinics that I know of and you know them because there's like, you know, evangelicals like standing outside with like big posters of like aborted fetuses and you know screaming murderer at everyone that walks in. So yeah, they're pretty easy to find here in America.

They stand out. Just that place with the seven nuns with the with the placard saying you're evil. That's where we're going. There's your appointment. How's that all going at the moment in America? Not great. Not great. I think Planned Parenthood are really up against it with, you know, this administration is not known for its, it's quite pro-life, this administration, shall we say. Yeah. Why don't you have a little break and when we come back, we're going to talk about reality, television and culture. Woo! And where the two bloody meet.

Oh, Davina McCall just added me to a group called Looks Like We Made It. Look how far we've come now baby. Looks like we made it. Might have took a long way. We knew we'd get there one day. They said. Welcome back to Miss Me. I'm so happy that you're singing Lily,

cause I've got so many opportunities for you to sing in this second half. I'm not gonna tell you where they are. Let's just see if you can spot them and you do just wanna burst out into song. Okay? Okay. I want to tell you this isn't one of them. By the way, this isn't one of them. I wanted to tell you about my Ropes Day Out. Decided to take all my Ropes team out on a day of culture around this glorious city that we call London. To do free things actually. Free. F-R-E-E. Only one thing we had to pay for and everything else was free.

And we saw some beautiful things. The highlights were the Garden Museum in Lambeth. I didn't know there was a garden museum. And we went to see the Cecil Beaton exhibition, which was glorious. And then we went to the National Gallery to see the rehang and the classics. And I have to say I

have I have some people on my team that don't know well I mean I don't know much about the classics but I've learned a lot from my dad recently. Classics artists? Yeah you know the Renaissance, the Dutch Masters. Okay. I've realized I'm a huge fan of the Dutch Masters. Are you? I'm really... Okay, great. That's great to hear. Big Vermeer fan, Makita.

I'm a huge Vermeer fan. And I was thinking, how rich will I have to be to have something like this in my home one day? Would you want a Vermeer in your home? I find it just very stressful having something that valuable in my house. I have one friend that has, you know, amassed quite an impressive art collection and I worry about his physical safety because, you know, people know that he's got all this stuff. Yeah. And it's a source of concern for me, for sure.

I wouldn't mind a bit of Caravaggio. He's not Dutch, but he... Of course, of course. Who wouldn't want a bit of Caravaggio. He's not Dutch, but he- Of course, of course. Who wouldn't want a Caravaggio? Love is still life. Turns out he's very talented. Anyway, and then we went to the fucking face exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery, a look at the historical cultural impact

of the Face magazine. And our family are heavily adjacent and intertwined in that crew. There was a wonderful man called Ray Petrie who was a visionary, really, wasn't he, Lil? And he created this whole vision of Buffalo, the Buffalo Collective, and of course, the Face Magazine. There's a huge picture of Judy.

It was just really special, and the picture of my mom and my auntie Nanna next to each other, I felt really emotional, but I felt really proud of the things that they did at that time, and I felt like it had trickled down into me and you and the way that we work and the things that we do in the world.

I feel like that kind of need for creative freedom was definitely instilled in us from a young, young time. I'm really grateful for that, I have to say. You think that your zest for creativity comes from them? Yeah, 100%. And not just that, but to do things your own way. To not be a sheep and to be a leader and to follow your gut and your instincts and to not be scared of the man. That's it, why? Okay. Enough culture. Let's talk about TikTok. Let's bring it back. That's

what's really important today. TikTok is culture. It's today's culture. Kill me, but it is. It's where it's all happening. I'd never go on TikTok, ever. Lily, I don't know how to go on it. Flossie sent me a clip today. Yeah, no, I couldn't even open it in the link.

I was like, oh, what? Me neither. I'm such a loser. But no, I will not be getting it just to download that clip. But it's a powerful beast. Actually, when we were sitting outside the National Gallery, just having a little sit down, these two boys came up to us and they were like,

can we interest you guys in being part of a TikTok video? All of us were like, no. No, absolutely not. And how dare you ask me outside the National Gallery? No, back to TikTok and its absolute cultural relevance. I suppose two things are happening with TikTok. One of them being that it has replaced being number one in the charts and it's also driven this kind of love

for the back catalog and the older artists having a sort of resurgence, people were suddenly like hyped by Shardé. Artists of yore. Yeah, it's good, isn't it? I suppose it's one good thing to come from something that I consider to be a bad thing. I think that it also, you know, I know from like having been in and around

like writing camps and stuff for other artists that now songwriters are sitting down thinking like of how to create music that will fly on TikTok. And you know, that just makes me sad really. I don't know why it makes me sad because you know, obviously there's a market for it and you know, people are getting enjoyment out of it. But it seems to me that, you know, when your creative output becomes more about the platform

than the actual content itself, that's concerning somehow. But hasn't it democratized the industry by sort of the people leading the artist to what they want to have more of rather than some guy in the music industry telling the audience and the artist what to make for? I don't know, I don't think it does. I don't think it has democratized anything because I don't think that any of it is...

Good? No, like natural, like organic. Organic. You know, a lot of it is record companies, you know, pay for prominence. And also, you know, they'll target people that are already big on TikTok with songs before they come out and get them to do a dance

and do all of this and do all of that. And then, and you know, with a hope for it to sort of catch fire. So I don't, I think it's, I think it's the same beast. I don't think that it's democratizing anything. The internet has not democratized anything, I don't think. It feels like the audience has a bigger hand in what's happening in a way that I don't feel like,

let's talk about the old ways that things were put out. It was all very prescriptive in my day, and you would make an album, and then you would put out a single at a time and hope that they would go in the top 10, preferably top five, and then do the promo and then put the album out and then go on tour. But it feels like you can fuck around now with,

I mean, Charli XCX just put out a video, right, that is for a song that was five years ago released. Yeah, off of an old album. Which I love, I loved the song. Yeah. I mean, I just miss the old buying an album on CD or on vinyl. I feel like you absorbed it in a different way

to how we absorb stuff now. I feel like, you know, you used to invest in an album, now you invest in a platform, right? People are paying their monthly subscription fees for whichever platforms it is that they're listening to their music on. And I think that it's made people more critical of what comes across them while they're on the platform

rather than actually trying to look at, you know, a work of art as itself, separate from that, you know? Like, I feel like we used to buy an album and you would be like, maybe five or six of the songs on the album you really connected with. And the other six didn't float your boat quite so much, but you didn't feel like it was a flop or like,

angry about those six songs that didn't hit in the same way that I think that anything that you absorb on the internet it's like like or don't like am I on this side or am I on that side there's no like there's no middle ground you can't just sit with something it's like either I've got to like press fast forward and get on to the next thing that and and and be mean about it or all praise it or you know I don know. Well I've been listening to a lot of Jagged Little Pill recently I do not know why when I was moving out my flat it was the only album I could listen to. Swallow it down like a jagged little pill.

Wait until it's set. That's what I'm talking about, album tracks. I was like, fuck ironic. The decedals. You live, you learn, you cry, you learn. You lose, you learn. You learn, you lose, you learn. No, she's a fucking genius. She was so young when she wrote that album.

Yeah, god can you imagine being so young that you don't know who Lanz Mora says? Let me tell you about what, like imagine being an underground, kind of indie, new artist, actually she wasn't new, she'd already been like a Canadian pop star, but then she threw it all away

and decided to be like this underground artist who listened to herself and put out this like relatively small album. And it took over the fucking world. It took over the world for about four years. I think it was like number one around the world. And these album tracks are so good still, Lilly. And I thought if someone was trying to like make Alanis Morissette happen again

on something like TikTok, then they would probably like bring out ironic or drag. Actually, you ought to know is a fucking tune, but it's like you. You ought to know. No, I'm sorry. Be for you. The lyrics are too good. No one has ever expressed like rage so well in a song. Like I'd be scared.

You know, that was written about someone, wasn't it? That poor fucker who knows that Jack, that you ought to know, Jaggy Little Pill was written about them. Are you thinking of me when you fuck her? It's just deep. It's just like, go on. We were all like, what did she just say?

What? It was so good. Are you thinking of me when you fuck her? And the mouth that you made with the games. And the mouth that you made with the games. And the mouth that you made with the games. I don't understand. Cringe. No.

And every time you. Sorry. I have a Marmite theory. When they put out Marmite Squeezy, they said that they were trying to, hang on, let me just, their dilemma was, yeah, they needed to change its usage to encourage growth without losing its existing customers. And I think that actually, that's what TikTok's

doing quite well for yay, a Charlie XC expert, much more like a sharday or like a Kate Bush. If a song like that comes through, or an artist like that comes through, what you're saying is like, look at this old back catalog of something, but then you've got all this new stuff to discover. With someone like Charli XCX, it's like, yeah, this is something from the past,

isn't it exciting? But it will lead people, even more people, to go to what she's making now, I think. It's like reminding you of this old stuff, or like existing stuff, by giving you something new. That makes sense? So they give you Marmite Squeezy, but if you don't want to use Squeezy, you're not going to be like, I hate Marmite.

You're just going to be like, oh, I know. I need to go buy me some original Marmite. So it's like the message is, is put out there to encourage growth. Fucking crazy analogy, but okay. I'm, I'm with you. I'm very proud of my squeezy analogy. You're absolutely insane, just saying. Speaking of squeezy spreads though, I do feel like...

Speaking of squeezy spreads, yeah. The interesting part of what you said was about squeezy spreads to me, and I feel like squeezy peanut butter is a revelation. I don't think we have it. Yes, we do. No, you do, but we might not hear. No, I found it in London. Gracie put it on my yogurt in the morning.

Oh, I bet she did because she just had to squeeze it. The squeezy makes you use it in different places because this was, marmite was particularly for sandwiches because you can't, Marmite was particularly for sandwiches because you can't spread Marmite on bread. You can only spread it on toast. And even then it's annoying. But if you're having a sandwich, squeeze it in. Do you know what my old Marmite trick was

is that you get a little bowl and you put some Marmite in there with some butter, mix them together and then spread it on the bread. And then just spread. Spread on the bread. There's some things you just can't come up with in an editorial called the squeezy spread section. The producers are like, this is not in the running order.

This is the relatable shit though, hun. Literally people are going to be like, oh my God, they're so us. I'm standing by my fucking squeezy TikTok. Please don't do that again because I'm not down. I was thinking I've got a lot more this summer. I was like, I might just do a little one bit like this all summer. Now we've got to talk about reality TV. Unwritten by Natasha Benningfield.

People have brought that back on TikTok and rightly so, because it wouldn't be fair for me and Lilly to just keep it in our past, because this song meant things when you heard it. It meant the Hills was starting. It meant that the Hills was starting. I mean, that's all it meant. I couldn't even remember what the Hills were.

When you said that we were gonna talk about this today, I was like, what is the Hills? Is that Lauren Conrad Spencer Pratt Heidi Montag one? Yeah, but you'll probably remember it more like, you know, like Justin Barbie and Audrina Remember that oh, yeah, that's kind of ringing a that's kind of ringing a bell. We loved him He was like a bad boy and she loved him and she let him trample all over her every series. It was awful. But you know, we're only human, Lily and I, so we both have a long standing relationship with reality television like most people. Reality television actually knocked on my door pretty early because there was a show, an American show, an MTV show

called The Real World. The Real World was in the early 90s and that was kind of one of the first that were in a sort of serial structure and had like talking heads and all important casting for drama and chaos. And they filmed the London one on Powers Terrace next door to my house, you remember?

I remember that, I remember that. We were fucking excited. And then we were there for like the original big brother and that was gripping, I think is the only word. They did this rich house, poor house thing where they separated two of the girls and put them in that cagey like shithole flat, do you remember?

And then she was in love, she was called Mish, Michelle, and she was in love with Stu, who they'd just taken her away from, but they had a video of the house that they just sat with headphones watching all day long, going stir crazy and her becoming more and more obsessed. And then they let them out like wild animals, and the fight that ensued, I think it was on the news,

the one with Victor. Oh yeah. Like that was television. We couldn't believe what we were seeing. Cause you have to remember this is the first time it had ever been, it's not like, oh, this is a bit Love Island, nothing like this had ever happened. And we were gripped in Danny and Judy's House 2003.

There were certain things, I feel like I may have talked about it before, but there was one series of Big Brother where they had this challenge where they all had to get in a cardboard box and on the cardboard box there was a picture of them stuck on the outside. And so no one moved. It was like you would have thought it would have been the most boring thing to watch ever, but it was actually amazing because it just had a picture of them and their name on the outside of the box and then just these boxes that were like talking to each other. Can you believe we sat there? What people think Gogglebox is weird.

We would sit and watch them in their boxes stationary speaking to each other. And the challenge was like who can stay in the parks the longest? So they were there for like 15 hours. Maybe longer, I don't know, but it was really great. People threw hell. But it's all right, they gave them a big bottle of gin afterwards. I mean, they would just give people alcohol and, you know, chaos ensued. But I watched the 29th series of Made in Chelsea last week by accident, but then I couldn't stop because I just couldn't believe this shit was still on television and realized

that we have quite a personal relationship with Made in Chelsea. Can you remember the connection? Both of us grew up in Kensington and Chelsea. No, that's not the connection. They're Chelsea, we're Notting Hill. Please, please. They wish they were from our ends. Come on, round two. I'll give you another chance. What is our personal connection to Maiden Chelsea? I've got no idea. You've lost me. I don't know. The correct answer is Professor Green. Okay. Oh yeah. Okay. Yeah. He married Millie McIntosh. Married Millie McIntosh. My boyfriend at the time was his DJ.

Lily was friends with Professor Greenstein. So we went to their wedding. And I had a fight with Kagi from Made in Chelsea about Scream. The DJ? LOL. Was Scream there? Okay, that makes sense. It would be weird if he had an argument about him and he wasn't there. But like, what a crew. Like all the maid in Chelsea lot and then Professor Green's lot and then us. I mean, it was quite a weird wedding. So that's our personal connection. Why did you have an argument about Scream?

I'm not telling you, obviously on this show, I'll tell you after. You and your best mate, Gaggy Dunlop, lol, okay? She wants the cool one, come on, you're gonna pick one. I feel like I still see her sometimes. I think I see her in the local coffee shop to where my place is in London. Yeah, yes, yes.

So, but Mary Jones is incredible London. Yeah, yes, yes. But Minnage House is incredible. I mean, I don't know how Monkey Productions, they must be so pleased. They're still having breakups on bridges and dancing badly and hideous nightclubs. And it's just, there were some people there that I knew from series one. 29 series, that is a commitment.

They're still on it. No. Yeah, a couple people from like series one are still on it. That's crazy. And now they've got like their babies and their husbands. It's like, do you not wanna just not do this anymore? Not do it anymore.

Do you watch any Housewives? I hadn't watched Housewives until relatively recently and now I'm quite into it. In fact, Marnie and I lay in bed for a few hours on Saturday it was raining and Ethel had gone to a friend's house and we made a start on Salt Lake City. Oh, did you? Which made me feel like a bit gross. I've got to be honest. I don't know why.

In a way that New York doesn't. Yeah, because Salt Lake City is like in the middle of nowhere, right? It's in Utah, it's like in the desert sort of, and it's like where everything is very new. It's like all new, these new build houses and it all feels really like soulless. And yeah, you're just sort of like, why are you all there? Like, what is this place? I don't understand. I guess like there's like the Mormon church is like based or comes out of Salt Lake City. So there's lots of Mormon stuff going on there. That's quite interesting.

But yeah, no, the ones that I've enjoyed watching obviously are Beverly Hills and New York. It's because think about it, right? What do you need when you go to Housewives? Because I have smart, brilliant people in my life that love Housewives. Elizabeth Day, my mum's friend, who's like a brilliant, you know, cultured writer. She lives for Housewives and brought it into our household and showed my mum and that's how my mum got addicted. What do I like about it? I guess, I guess like the sort of tragedy element. Oh, do you? Okay, because the difference between Kardashians and Housewives is like, Kardashians takes you into a world of impossible glamour that you couldn't even imagine. Like we're

all peasants and they're the kings. But the Housewives are just taking you to lunch a lot. Like they go to like the old gala, but it's not like a gala that anyone's heard of or anything. So I think that's why I find it a bit depressing. I need the like businessy stuff from the Kardashians. I suppose I try whenever I'm watching The Housewives, I'm always trying to figure out how their contracts work. It's obvious that they like it has like, you know, so and so must have, you know, at least seven altercations or arguments with, you know, other cast members or, you know, host at least two parties or events at their, over the course of the series.

Kyle, looking at you. Yeah. It's like, they've all got to do all these things and create all of this chaos around each other. It's kind of fascinating. Well, I think that people do it for airtime. No, I'm aware. I think people are like, if I go nuts at this lunch, yeah.

I don't know whether it's contractual, but they're no fool. They want to be at that like, what's it like the big talk that they had at the end of every series with like that Andy guy? The reunion or something. Yeah. The reunion. They want to like know that they had some storylines in that. Yeah. And then people, then people get angry and say like, you only, you're only starting up fights because you need more air time. Yes. And they're like, no, how dare you? How dare you accuse me of that? Like that's not what we're all here doing.

Like come on, why else are we here? How dare you accuse me of trying to execute my job properly and secure my place in the next season? Fucking bitch. Anyway, it's coming to London. You should be on it. Thank you, that's so sweet of you, but no thanks. I think they'll probably,

I imagine someone like Caprice will be in it. Really? Okay. Who do we think, let's, I did read that Fran Cutler is in the running. Did you read that? Oh my God. I would watch the shit outler is in the running. Did you read that? Oh my God. I would watch the shit out of that. Me too.

If they're going to cast it like that, then we're onto something. They need a little bit of real, raw Fran Cutler. For the people that don't know who Fran Cutler is, come on. She ran London for about 25 years. Still does a bit. And she's a lovely woman. Oh, no, just the fans online have been speculating that it could be Poppy Delevingne, who's lovely. I would like to watch her.

Trini Woodall, Tamara Ecclestone and Fran Cutler. Oh, I've watched that in a heartbeat. Trini, Tamara Ecclestone, I've been interested in. The lady who ran Jimmy Choo for so long, yes? No, that's different Tamara. Tamara Ecclestone is the daughter of Bernie Ecclestone Formula One racing. Embarrassing. I have already watched her show, which was her and her husband. I got into that for a while.

But they only did one series of that show because it was awful. I don't know why I watched it, but it was terrible All right. Well, yeah, I'll be watching. I'll be watching. I think that's enough I think I've talked to you quite enough today my darling. Do you? Yeah, I got some sunshine to get to me and mom. I've got a photo shoot in the garden tomorrow So I've got go pick up all the dog shit garden tomorrow so I've got to go pick up all the dog shit. That's my life. How many dog shits do you reckon there are out there? I'd say eight to ten because there are three dogs in this house right now and I used Roland and Leo all weekend to give them a quid a poo but now they're gone and it's back here, it's back to me. You gave the children a

pound of poo. I thought that was great. They made so much money. I think we've got the title, A Pound of Poo. And that's what it's like living back at home. Poo for a pound, poo for a pound. Yeah, poo for a pound's quite good. A poo for a pound.

They loved it. They loved it. They're like, have they done any more poos? I'm like, you're in luck. They have. Okay. On that note, we're going to sign off and we'll speak to you next week. On Monday. We'll be talking about fun and all the ways to enjoy it. I have no idea what you're going to ask us, but hopefully it will just be easy peasy.

Fun? Who picked that? I think we were quite tired last week when we picked it. We have to, let's get through it, but we need something a bit better for the week after, something a bit spicier. Who picked that? Did I pick that? I think it was me. Fun.

I was struggling. Wow. It was me. I was struggling. We'll get through it and then you better get your thinking pants on for a bloody spicy summery get the whole nation talking. Thinking pants. I'm gonna get my thinking pants on for sure.

Could you wear them, Melissa bitch? I'm always wearing my thinking pants by the way. I'll just put it out there. My thinking pants never come off. That's right. What a metaphor. See you later, wife. Bye!

Bye! Bye! That's right. What a metaphor. See you later, wife. Bye. Bye. Thanks for listening to Miss Me with Lily Allen and Makita Oliver. This is a Persephoneca production for BBC Sounds. Hello, I'm Manishka Matandodawati, the presenter of Diddy on Trial from BBC Sounds. Sean Diddy Combs is facing a fight for his freedom as his hugely anticipated trial starts for sex trafficking, racketeering with conspiracy and transportation for prostitution. He denies all the charges. I'll be bringing you every twist and turn from the courtroom with the BBC's correspondents

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