Miss Me? - Alcohol is the Worst One

Episode Date: August 3, 2026

Miquita Oliver and Jordan Stephens debate your questions around the substances people take to escape from the world at times, and Miquita reveals she only recently dated soberly for the first time. They get into why alcohol is legal while other mind-altering things are not, and why many of us can be afraid to sit with our feelings. Is it about time we got comfortable with being uncomfortable?Producer: Natalie JamiesonTechnical Producer: Oliver Geraghty Assistant Producer: Katie-Louise BuxtonVideo Editor: Danny PapeProduction Coordinator: Tom JacksonExecutive Producers: Ellie Clifford & Dino SofosMiss Me? is a Persephonica show Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There's a clip that I love where a street interviewer turns to a woman and says, what's the hardest drug you've ever taken? And she says, sobriety. Oh, I learned a lot about myself last year when I dated soberly. Last year was the first year you did that? Yeah? That's wild. Of course.

They changed the name from cannabis to marijuana so it sounded Mexican so that they could enforce it as a war. I was hilarious when I was drunk. And the second I did Coke, I was literally just like quiet and in the corner and introspective. The idea of you taking Coke now is insane to me. To Listen Bitch, it's a wonderful day in the world of Listen Bitch. I have been wanting to do this subject. I don't know, since summer 24. I've pushed for it.

Great. The subject, the theme for this week's Listen Bitch for us all to discuss together is drugs. Finally, good news. Good news for me. God, I had to break down some doors. And also, I'm not even here to like, it's not like I just want to regale people with bad party stories. I really wanna like get into drugs

and how much they're a part of everyone's lives, even if you don't do them. What is a drug? Why is a drug? Why is a drug? Stay in drugs, don't do school, bro. Stay in drugs, don't do school. That's exactly what we're not gonna be able to say.

What do you mean? That was like, we can do this just as long as it's not too, like, Yay, drugs. I was like, it won't be in the first thing you say. It's two drugs. Don't go to school. Let's have our first question for this week's Listen, bitch.

The theme is drugs. Hi, you all right? This is a question about drugs. Mine is about coke. Why the hell is coke so normalised? And am I a weirder for thinking that? So, a bit of context. I haven't done coke.

I don't really have any want to be. through seeing people on coke. People seem to use it to get drunk and then sober up and I'm like, what the fuck is the point in that? And also, when you're at afters or when you're at the pub, I find myself, like, I'm the odd one out because I don't do coke. And I always ask my friends this when they're cooked up. And I'm like, I just don't get it.

Maybe it's because I've not done it. But yeah, apart from the addictive side of it, like, why is it so normalised? And do you agree? Also, I know this is cheeky, but I'm just going to ask another question. as well. What is your favourite pseudonym for a drug? If I think about it, like, I think about Cowie, Pingers, Mandy, Molly, Charlie, but else is the smack crap.

She is so funny. I think mine has got to be Mandy. Because it's like, oh, like, little old Mandy Damp Road, but actually, it's fucking sick. And it's wild. Oh. What's your favorite pseudonym for a drug? I quite like pingers Yeah, I like pingers Just because it's just so stupid It is so stupid That's all the grownups

At my friends 40th Because they're not with their kids For the night And they were like Now I've got pingers I was like pingers Come on

Really? We're not too old for pingers There's surely Coke has the most pseudonyms Of any I mean there's quite a few for weed I guess But like Charlie Buegel Toot

The bag I like get the bag in Packet, snow. Packet is crazy. Packet is triggering. Snow, white. Like, there's so many. What did you used to call it?

Packet. When you took packet, yeah. Your packet days. Yeah, I used to fucking love it. You're so weird. The idea of you taking Coke now is insane to me. Like insane for you to be high. Coke in London, I think I read something a few years ago,

which is like they went round and tested as much coke as they could in London. And the purest that they found was 22%. So like a lot of the coke that we were doing was cut with speed anyway. So the reason why I ended up getting medicated in the first place on ADHD because I was doing so much coke. And I wasn't even doing the Coke to party. I was doing the Coke because it focused. me. Actually, at one point got banned from doing coke with one particular friend of mine because

I was hilarious when I was drunk and the second I did Coke, I was literally just like quiet and in the corner and introspective. Internal. Yeah, yeah, introspective, totally. Yeah. I don't know whether. I don't know why it's been normalized, but yeah. Probably won't go into like clean Coke. What do you want to say? Tell a story. No, but you can say that. But listen, that 100% shit's going to be different. I'm talking about clean Coke. I remember. I remember. that. I remember clean coat. No, no, there's no way. There's no way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wasn't here.

I wasn't here. Okay. I wasn't in this country. If it's anywhere South America, I believe you. Yes, close by. Okay, tell you right. And I was like, whoa, that's not close. We take it home. Let's just get this back to not too celebratory.

No, it's not celebratory. She's saying, why is it normalized? We've established already that is cut with 100 different things. Yes, okay. So one of the reasons I think, because, because, let's all talk about coke in the 80s. It was for glamorous rich people. Full stop. You had to be glamorous for rich. And even when I was going to parties

in the 90s when I was a teenager, no one took Coke. That was still a rich person's drug. And then Phoebe started going out with someone who sold it. So we had access to it. And so we probably started younger. Getting higher for your own supply.

Well, his supply. I think that made us start earlier. And then I started making money. so it so it was we had access to it early when i realized that in this country as opposed to america and when i say america i mean like let's say london versus new york in new york you would never have in a bar like gravelly surfaces made on purpose intentionally entirely so people don't take coke off the surfaces i remember when suddenly every pub started to have that you know and they purposely put a different texture on all the services.

Right, people do. But what I'm saying is that's when I realized that coke taking was so normalized in this city. I was like, oh, okay. Like, it's literally like, this is so people don't do coke here. I was like, wow, we're just a bunch of fucking raging coke heads in this city. I don't know about it now because I don't take drugs anymore. Oh, people still do coke. Yeah, no, I know.

I can't bloody believe it. I'm like, have we really got the time? And also just the come down, I could never. I could never. Well, the Coke come down happens in about 40 minutes. That's what's so mental about it. You're hitting a line every 40 minutes because you're coming down half an hour after doing the drug.

Why is it so normalised? What's the why? Let's answer the why. It got cheaper and shitter. I don't think the issue is Coke. I think the issue is alcohol. So yes, because interestingly, there was a lot of times, and I've heard people say it recently.

I can't believe you still think like that. When people are like, oh, I, you know, I drink like this because I'm picking up. Do you know what I mean? Like shots, double drops. I just think if you were to, if you were to analyze Coke users in the UK based purely of just doing Coke,

I don't think that'd be that many people. That would be like serious addicts who have transcended the initial use. It's like, it's an extension of our binge drinking problem. And I think alcohol is by far the worst drug available. The gateway, if you will. Yeah, it's just like, Shite, isn't it?

But like, you know, I get it, I get it moderately. I understand, sorry, let me not be reductive. I understand why alcohol exists as it does. And I think moderation in any stretch is brilliant. Obviously, I'm an addict, so I have to be careful of that. But yeah, man, I just, it's so damaging. There's so many downsides to alcohol overeuse. Do you know why I think people drink?

Go on. To feel unified and kid-like. Child-like, 100%. Yeah. Childlike and Unified. I remember there was this stupid scene in human traffic, which is not a film I love, actually. Nice one, brother!

Yeah, he's fucking irritating. That's why I hate that film. Speaking about the King Danny Dyer there, but whatever, I'll just move along. No, I mean, Danny Dio is brilliant in it. I just, there's just, it's just a little bit cheesy. But anyway, there's this scene in it where he's at the, where they're at the pub,

before they go to the rave. And he talks about, and this is why I don't like it, the writing is a bit cheesy, but the main guy's talking about, like, well, you know, we all just want to be at the pub

so we can all get on the same level so we can enter the rave on the same thing. And I'm thinking, right. So it's not even like, it's not even about whether it's better or worse. It's about feeling closer to each other. I feel like this now because I've drank this. You feel like this now because you've drank that.

So now we feel a similar thing at the same time. I don't even think it's about that feeling being good, it's just we're having it at the same time and you're already connected from that? Yeah, like the king of all this discussion is Professor David Nutt, right? The guy who I've spoken about on the podcast before, he was the ex-professor of medical health

and he was fired from the government because they asked him to reclassify the drugs and he provided evidence to say that if you wanted alcohol to remain legal, you would have to evidentially legalise ecstasy as well. Again, that can fact check me on this, but he just, he had statistics, He had evidence to suggest that it was more dangerous to ride a horse than it was to take ecstasy.

That was made well. Like, the only issue around those drugs is the regulation of them. It's not the fact they exist. It's literally the fact that they're illegal is why they're dangerous because you can't regulate them. So this is why I'm also pro-legalizing or drugs because the issue is regulation. It's not like there will always be underground, right? So it's like legalize them all and then allow people to engage with it, rehabilitate properly. That's why I want to talk about the legalization of drugs today and the history of it

and how it was implemented and why and on what? Yeah, well, he's, this is literally, on the basis of what. This is literally what he does. He goes around, I've watched him talk at like festivals before. This is what he does now. He's been fired. He basically is kind of a low-key, a whistleblower on what they know and what they're not doing.

Why these things have come about. Do you think he do miss me? Yeah, maybe. But can I just say that what, what is interesting is that he has made a drink, which actually I was, I was just going to ask them if they were interested in being part of Miss Me, but he made a drink called Centia, which uses a compound called Gabba. And he's attempting to create the same liquidating effect

that alcohol produces in the brain but without the negative effects. So the people... Fuck yeah! The reason why people like alcohol is because it just eases a slight anxiety in terms of engaging socially. And he believes that from their research,

you know, that chemical can be stimulated without having to be in alcohol, basically. With something else. Wow. And I say, and the interesting thing for me, which I found going sober, is that when you say that, like, people want to get on the same level, I find that really interesting because I also think that there's arguably a more substantial amount of people who are unwilling to confront the reality that they don't enjoy the situation they're in, or they haven't had to learn how to engage on an actual human level. I know I've had people be like, I can't go on a date sober. For me, that's like really damning in terms of how we allow people. people to socialize or encourage them to learn, like we said in the meeting drop, about interpersonal relationships. We should be comfortable, soberly engaging with people. And it's way too common for people like, I can't do this unless I'm tipsy. Like that's, we've just

normalised that. I learned a lot about myself last year when I dated soberly. I was like, oh. Last year was the first year you did that. Yeah? That's wild. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Of course. I think that's wild. And I was like, wow, what a decision I'd made. I only like to get drunk on dates. It's total bullshit. It was much more preferable. I enjoyed it so much more. Yeah, I enjoy raving more sober, because I can really feel it and I can really hear it. Yes, I know you do. Yes, you can. You are so present. It's weird. I just love that shit. I don't know. It's like, and also it's just odd, isn't it? Like, I think I've said this before, but whatever I say again, is that I remember going to, yeah, I remember what topic it was on listen bitch, but I've definitely said it,

but I remember going to a wedding and the wife was, could barely stand by the end of the thing. And I'm just like, you're literally not even going to remember this wedding. Yeah, yeah. Like what's the, what's the point? It's funny how much we want to, yeah, well, exactly, that, well, that's the whole thing of we should really save this for alcohol. We've never done alcohol or drinking, but like that idea of wanting to lose ourselves, which is very drug-like, you know, we all like to get lost.

why but why let's have another question this is lee a long-term listener and i thought i'd finally get around to do in one of these messages on the topic of drugs i wondered if you remember that period in time i can't remember exactly what it was maybe around 2010 yeah when everyone went crazy for legal hires herbal hires there were things like i think they were called bzp used used to get some called peps you could buy them like in tablet form and all sorts of sorts of different variations. They'd sell them at festivals, you could get them in piercing shops. They were everywhere.

And there was one specifically that I remember called Salvia, which was just insane. And it just had some really strange effects. And I remember there were tablets called BZPs, which the effects just lasted for so long. And it's just crazy that they were ever legal in the first place. But because they were legal, we used to just take tons of them and stuff. It was just really dodgy. I just wondered if you remember that period, if you ever partook in that period and what your thoughts were on it.

It seemed to disappear really quickly. It came around and disappeared. 2010, now, we were on the hard stuff. Salvia's a psychedelic. Jesus, and they legalized it. Mushrooms were legalized until 2005. Sorry, these drugs weren't legalized. They were just natural.

Yeah, like people found drugs. Like it's the same as Meow, right, M-Cat. That's plant fertiliser. That's the generation I lived through was when people were buying this plant fertilizer on mass for like three pound a gram, doing it in college. The teachers would have to take the drug from them

and then give it back to them at the end of the... People still do it now, by the way. It's popping off now. It's like... Jumping MCAT in class. In college. I literally remember, I remember it ruining like two or at least two or three

of my friend's lives because it was so accessible. Like, I remember being at a house party. I remember being at house party and a girl turned up to the house party and she did her college, like a college dissertation. She basically did like a fucking 10,000 word essay in the corner of a house party on meao and I watched it. Right, okay. It was like that's fucking insane what I've just seen with my eyes.

Plant fertilizer. It was plant. I'm pretty sure, yeah. It smells like cat piss. Feels like ecstasy. It was that on the fucking It was that on the label It feels like catholicity

It feels like ecstasy It is yeah people I've heard that people This is still a very popular drug But again All the drugs are plants I just want to ask you If we're talking about this idea of like

Why we take drugs and why we drink But we're staying on drugs for this and bitch Has that gone for you completely That need to be lost No So we all do still look for it. Of course.

It's not about, it's, I think what I found, right, like, and I said this before when I was offering advice, I've offered advice

sometimes when asked about sobriety. And one of the hardest parts of going sober is that in the first year and maybe even the second year, I lost touch with people with whom I engaged with

what I can describe as mutual destruction, right? Like it's, we are meeting up to kind of destroy ourselves and we are, are bonded in some odd way via this process.

Like we've had long nights, weirdly deep conversations, but like there's not really any space in which to engage outside of that. But what was beautiful about it was the friends of mine that maintained throughout the sobriety so there was something else beyond the mutual destruction that bound us became much deeper and closer friends to me than they ever would have done if we were just doing drugs.

Because like from a spiritual perspective, well, if you take Coke, for example, you're literally numb. You're quite literally numb. So like even if, even if it can objectively or in your head, like, come across as an experience that is in, that you're escaping, you're escaping something because you have fewer thoughts and you're just moving forwards and you're a bit wild. But like, in actuality, you aren't necessarily experiencing or even remembering these thoughts in your body. And I think that's what lends itself to like deeper connections with the world, with your friends of your family. I remember when I was at peak Coke vibes. I think people would,

I thought I was a psycho, genuinely, because I just was like motivated only by transactional, by transaction. I've had to learn, actually, that a lot of the time I now savor with friends and people I love is just doing nothing. Yeah, yeah. But there's that, there's that feeling of, it's not really nothing. It just doesn't need to be heightened. Yeah, it's, but like, yeah, I want to get lost all the time. I mean, I literally just fucked off to the lake, to peak district. It's, it's, there's other ways of escaping. But then maybe there's that, that's important for everyone to know, like, every person at the pub at 9 a.m. 9 a.m, yeah, mad.

I mean, but that's how, that's how much people want to be lost. But that's, but this is my point of, this is why I talk about emotions for men, right? It's also not like, even just like some inadvertent, sorry, inverted commerce, alcoholic at the pub. Just look at a fucking airport. I get to an airport at 7 a.m. and 80% of people are drinking pints because they're like, Oh, holiday, finally I can get lost. It's like so lost that you want to drink at 7 a.m. in the airport.

Yeah, yeah. I'm not, this is not judgment. This is, as if, you know, I have had my struggles with alcohol for a very long time. But I guess now, because I observe it so much, I just, I just, I wonder what it is we're all looking for. There's a clip that I love online where a street interviewer turns to a woman and says, what's the hardest drug you've ever taken? And she says sobriety. Oh.

And that's true. That is honestly true. There is nothing more challenging than remaining sober. And also I'm saying this as somebody, I feel complex, I feel a bit confused about my ADHD medication because I kind of have this payoff where it's like I know I'm being aided, but I'm aided because I feel like I'm in a situation or I'm in situations in my life that are unusual. Like what's been asked in me is unusual.

I have a belief that at some point I'll be able to slow down and within that slowness I might be able to re-clay like return to self my career was unusual last year so that's kind of what it is but that's so it isn't it

it's like also being able to say like there are things that I that help me when I first started to smoke weed again years ago I was like oh great I found this thing that I've ever

returned to because I smoked a lot when I was a kid, or younger. And oh, great. And it aided me with my sobriety at the time. And I was all like, I'm proud to smoke weed because it's better than being a can't get drunk. And it really helped me through tripphobia and I don't really like to say that I'm neurodivergent, but I probably am. Cannabis is now legally prescribed medically, right?

I did a campaign for, but it's not cannabis. And although it is outside of medical usage, it is still illegal. But I think there's steps forward because it's clearly because the benefits have been measured. No, but the benefits have been measured medicinally. There's enough positive return on people utilizing it for things like neurodivergence or anxiety or pain. It also, it's also legal. Like, what, over 30 states in America now? Like if we were doing this podcast in America, I could smoke weed on it.

Yeah. If I felt like it. Yeah. So really, we should just probably hurry up with our laws in this country. I think the jury is out. The reason why, by the way, it was made medicinal was because the mother of an epileptic child who found that cannabis was the only way to help them through their seizures. She stood 10 toes and was like, nah, mate, I'm giving my child this medication.

Her son was called Billy, no? It kind of transcended the conversation that had, I think, been slightly racialized and also slightly class, like, spun. And I think, and actually, David Nutt speaks very, his explanation on why hemp slash cannabis became illegal is fucking fact. Do you want to know why? Yeah, I think I do know, but let's tell the world. That's why we're doing drugs today.

Okay, so before we do the next question, and I'm sorry, David Nutt, Professor, if I'm doing a bad, like, attempt at recounting your incredible description of it. But he's saying that basically, When they made alcohol illegal in America, right? When it, prohibition, whatever, they then employed a task force called, I think it were called the Untouchables, right? There was maybe like 29,000 or something like that agents that would try and shut down speakeasies, all this kind of stuff, right? They'd try and get a grasp on what now became an underground, like, phenomenon, mafia-owned mafia run.

I mean, Bordalk Empire is about this, like, it's a massive thing, right? And eventually, obviously, they were like, this is insurmountable. We're going to have to re-legalize alcohol. So what happened is they had put out all these contracts to like 30, 40,000 people that would then... What year is this? Oh, I don't know, like 19, 20, something like that. 20s. Yeah, it would have been old school, yeah.

Prohibition, yeah. And they then were unemployed. So what they did was they picked up on another thing that had been normalized, by the way, obviously King Henry VIII famously legislated for farmers to grow hemp as part of their land produce because it has many, many uses and benefits. They legislated for that to become illegal so that these people, the untouchables, would literally have a job to do. And interestingly, in order to validate the now illegality of what was previously just a

normal plant, they changed the name from cannabis to marijuana so it sounded Mexican so that they could... Oh, that I know. so that they could enforce it as a war. Sort of bring a little racialized tension to it. This is what David Nutt says and it makes a lot of sense. So basically they're just saying they created, they made it an issue just to employ these people

who would have been hired to shut down alcohol. And I'm sure they managed to make it a class racial thing as they always do. I need to say some things. One, you're fucking great at this subject and I knew you would be. I didn't know that about Henry the 8th. Thank you.

Two, we've done two questions and we've spoken for about half an hour. And as I said to Phoebe, who I worked with yesterday, I think this should be drugs part one, and we should do drugs part two. Because I think there's so much more that I need to say. Like, I now just want to do the history of drug legalization and all the stories that come with that.

But then also our story. It's a deep subject. It's a deep subject. It's deep as fuck. And no one's talking about this. This is drugs part one. Well, okay. The Zach Plansky is legalized drugs.

Let's go. Green Party. There you go. Let's have another question. But boy, is it just, just no, just seconds. in. Okay? This is going to go on for a few weeks. Hey, Keats. Hey, Jordan. I hope you're doing well and I'm sending you all my best. My name's Emma. I'm 30 and I'm currently living in Bristol.

What seems like a lifetime ago, I studied music and songwriting at uni. And I was very naive and green and innocent and I came to Bristol from Scotland. And everyone was doing lots of different types of drugs. And I had the occasional puff of weed probably once every couple of months. I don't do drugs and I'm okay with it and I know that it doesn't agree with my brain probably because I'm neurodiverse. What would your advice be to someone

who's maybe, you know, maybe a bit shy, like me? What would you say to them basically to reassure them that it's okay if they don't want to do it or they're not feeling okay to do it regardless of, you know, what their situation, their personality or conditions are?

Gummies! She doesn't want to do any drugs, is what she's saying? She doesn't want to do any drugs. that she wants to be social? Yeah, just gotta like drink fizzy water, isn't it? Is that what you drink? Fizzy water? I just got out and drink, yeah, lime soda, you know, I can get inventive if it's a particularly exciting pub,

maybe elderflower press, or elder flower, sparkling elder flower if I'm lucky. Well, I have to say, since I've been really changing the way I drink this year and last year and this whole journey, it's the questions that get me. me and people that like you know know what I'm trying to do

like Garfield you're not having your drink eats I'm like please don't say something and he still does Is that just error though? Yeah probably because it's God Is that just him being a plum? He's ironically too high to remember that you're sober But he's also like He does know

And he's asked me a few times now Are we calling out Garth on the pod? We're gonna do that shit We're gonna call him out now No, because he's already pissed off about the World Cup thing. But no, but I really understand what she means. Like, that's what's coming up for me a lot. Yeah, man, it's tough. At Seb's birthday dinner, I didn't want to drink.

And after, and the first hour, about three or four people, keeps you not having a drink. Yeah, but it's because you're making, listen, I get that when I say, I don't, I say I don't drink. I don't even hide. Like, I just say, like, oh, I don't drink. And then I get a lot of... Still, eight years later.

No, no, they're not trying to... Well, this would be... like with a new person. Obviously my friends know, but it's more like some people then like offload on me on why they don't want to drink anymore. That's what I get a lot. Oh God. That's long. Well, it depends what it is. I mean, I got time for it but yeah, it's sometimes it's a bit like, oh, it's what like drinking while they're telling you how much they want to stop drinking. Yeah, that's my worst. That's my worst. Happens a lot. No. I started drinking. I've started drinking non-alcoholic wine. I love Guinness Zero.

I want to get sponsored by that. Or Crona, Bier, something. Bierre, you remember at my birthday? Oh, yeah, that was. 1886. Fire, right? That was good. That was what I'm saying.

That's good. But it is about inhabiting a new, but this is different because she's saying, I know, she's saying she never really did. Like, okay, I really did. And it's very public, especially after my fucking hell to fail interview. Oh, yeah, you're talking about smashing a gear.

Sorry, yeah, yeah. Yeah, how much my life was. How much did you mention groucho in that, in that, Very little. I tried not to bring it up. Because I wasn't really talking about drugs. Okay, sorry. It was that issue around it.

Of course, of course. Yeah. And also I was talking about alcoholism that got me in my early 30s when I was on my own a lot. That wasn't to do with going out and partying. That was very different. I hear you.

That's deep. That's the whole fucking thing. So, yeah, I would say getting more and more comfortable with the uncomfortable, dude. It's kind of what it's like. I'm a bit like, this is uncomfortable. And then it's not.

And then it's kind of fun because I'm like, ooh, I'm not drunk and everyone else is. Yay. Yeah, I think, I think, well, you said, you made a really interesting point earlier when you were talking about smoking weed when you said that you're not harming anyone.

And that's actually a really good barometer, I'd say, of any, of any kind of excessive use of anything. But then you would have someone who would argue that they're like a high functioning coke addict or, which I also was. Yes, quite. Or like, which, which, so if you're destroying your body,

like slowly over time probably don't. But the thing I will say though, what I find interesting is once you move past like a like the fit, you know, these are things that are like have actual, in some cases a literal physical withdrawal, right? So that you become physically like like biologically dependent on these drugs. But then once we expand our definition, like for example, I know that with AA or NA,

they have a blanket rule for all psychoactive drugs. However, you're allowed to drink coffee. Yeah, then he said that. Which I think is bizarre because coffee, if you stopped drinking coffee, which I did for a year, that first coffee is fucking insane. Like it's not like normal life. And then also, once you stop drinking coffee, you literally have withdrawals. Like people get like migraines and headaches and shit.

Okay, two questions then. One, what made you go back to coffee after a year? You just miss it. I think if, I just feel like I had to have some vices, bro. Like, like, I think, like, I think, like, If people think that it can be socially demobilizing, that's immobilizing, socially immobilizing to be sober. You should try not drinking coffee.

That's fucking crazy. But it's not, sorry. What are you meeting people for? Like a tepid glass of water. You can still, to be fair, you can still obviously drink decaf coffee, which is getting better and better decaf coffee. It's like you can sound and tasting really good.

Why did I drink coffee again? There must have been, it's actually a really good question. I remember vividly coming off it, but I don't remember why I went back on. But I now have gone back on and I also really enjoy it. Like I actually genuinely really enjoy the different tastes of coffee.

Why did I do it? I honestly think, oh, I know what it was. I quit smoking. That was what it was. I quit smoking cigarettes and I was like, I was like,

this is taking a fucking piss now. I was like, I can't, I can't not be drinking, not smoking and not drinking coffee. Like, within reason, like, we're still, this world is still chaos. Like, I,

like, no, but I'm so happy you said that. Like let's keep it just a little bit honest Like you are only human And they Someone put all these fucking things in the world Give me something, brough Do I mean?

Like fuck me You got to look forward to when you wake up Yeah like it was just That's why I've got really into coffee I love coffee now Yeah but coffee is stealing energy from the future Oh okay Fuck sake

This has been beautiful But I would really I'd really like to leave it here I want to say quickly though Just what she said is that I also consider love can be a drive Oh, there you go, there's another episode. Phones are a drug and also, like there's low, and also sugar is a drug. So sometimes when we're there going, oh, you know, I haven't hit drugs.

Yes, you have. Yes, you have and you are engaging in it a lot. Thank you for talking drugs with me and not taking drugs with me today. We just talked about them. We used to take them together all the time. Me and Jordan used to love getting high together. And if you want to know vaguely how bad it got, please buy my book. Please buy my book. Avoidance drugs, heartbreak and dogs,

which is available, all stores, which I've not promoted yet since being commercial, really. Please buy the book. A lot of people have said to me, who listen to me to me, I didn't know I have a book. I have a book talking about my substance abuse, my complicated relationship with sex and my past,

and my heartbreak that inevitably led to me going to therapy. Thank very much. Please purchase it. There you go. Well, while we're here, I'd like, if you could buy, reserve your skipping rope at ropespro.com to see how much I've survived and how much I've achieved on the other side.

That'd be great. See, it doesn't have to end at drugs, but it does usually start there. We will see you for Drugs Part 2 next week. I can't fucking wait. Drug life. Drug life, exactly, right? Really, you know, spread it out. How big can this conversation get?

We'll see you next week. See ya. I'll see you on the other side. Thanks for listening to Miss Me. This is a Persephonica show.