Miss Me? - And… We’re Live!

Episode Date: December 12, 2024

Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver discuss Miquita’s surgery, the pressures of performing live, and singer M.I.A.This episode contains very strong language and adult themes.Credits: Producer: Flossie Barratt Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Production Coordinator: Hannah Bennett Executive Producers: Dino Sofos and Ellie Clifford Assistant Commissioner for BBC: Lorraine Okuefuna Commissioning Editor for BBC: Dylan Haskins Miss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK. World of Secrets is where untold stories are exposed. And in this new series, we investigate the dark side of the wellness industry, following the story of a woman who joined a yoga school only to uncover a world she never expected. I feel that I have no other choice. The only thing I can do is to speak about this. Where the hope of spiritual breakthroughs leaves people vulnerable to exploitation.

You just get sucked in so gradually and it's done so skillfully that you don't realise. World of Secrets, The Bad Guru. Listen wherever you get your BBC podcasts. BBC Sounds, music, radio, podcasts. This episode of MissMeet contains very strong language and adult themes. Hello, welcome back, Makita Oliver. Thank you. I guess it is welcome back.

Thank you. I feel not quite ready to come back, but it's like it is only my office. It is only crawling two rooms down the hallway. Yeah. I'm really sorry that I wasn't able to pick you up from the hospital. I've got my dates mixed up and I didn't get back till the day after you'd already left. So I apologize for not being there for you because I'm a terrible person. No.

No, no, no. That's not the energy of today at all. You've been a bloody brilliant support system. What you've done by doing Miss Me with other people without me over the last few weeks has just been like, like this kind of backbone strength friendship energy that I really needed. You've been a real soldier in my life, so thank you.

Don't you dare be negative about yourself today. Okay. Not today. I'm quite happy no one saw me in hospital. I was, um, I was freaky. I don't really, I don't really remember it. I was a little fucked up and stuff. Yep. Drugs will do that to you. Yeah, a little codeine button. Um, had to ween, had to ween myself off codeine. That was like a whole experience, but it was weird, not because I wanted it and wanted to keep more of it in my body. I just wanted to stop taking it earlier than

they said. So I stopped doing the button. But because I wasn't able to smoke, I started trying to have a button for every time I wanted a cigarette. That didn't work. That all got me. Did you take a secret vape into the hospital? Like I told you? No, I thought that would be too disrespectful. And there was one nurse who I felt like- Disrespectful. Yeah, to like other, didn't you feel like your nurses, when they come in on check-in,

like I got to know them quite well. And one of them had her eye on me and was a bit like, where are you going? I was like, can I please go have a cigarette? It's been three days. So her, I wouldn't have wanted to get caught vaping in my, it didn't really feel very recovery energy. I was too cut open and put back together to even think about bringing a vape in.

You're definitely not an addict. I would have had that whole thing planned. No, no, I am an addict because by day three, I was like sweating, angry, duh, freaking out, tripping. I was like, oh, I'm going cold turkey from tobacco. Right. I suddenly realized and I am an addict. No, I don't think you are an addict. That's just going cold turkey from something that's in your body. If you were an addict, you would have been planning ways in which to get the tobacco into your body. No, no matter what.

Don't make me say it. I then crawled out of my bed, made a cigarette, crawled outside in the kind of safety lift to the left that that nurse didn't know. But I bet it wasn't even enjoyable when you had it, but it was disgusting, right? No, it wasn't. It wasn't disgusting, but I realized that a lot of my smoking is about doing it in the comfort of my sitting room or in my bedroom or when I feel like it. Having to go out in the cold and rain in your like hospital gown and puffer jacket, it just didn't feel the same. That's funny because when you have kids, the smoking inside the house is just the guilt and

shame that comes with that. You can't. No, I know. No, I know. So you never enjoy that again when you have children, even if they're away. Yeah. Cause it lingers. They can smell it. Yeah. They're not fools. Marnie will come in and be like, I know moms who don't give a shit Maybe I'll just be one of them not mine. So yeah, and then I went deep into recovery. I did speak to you last week Yeah, I spoke to you quite a few times quite a few times I think one of them I was a bit drugged up because quite a few of them those conversations I don't remember. I've also stayed off Instagram, which has just been absolutely bloody glorious and

Because of that I didn't see didn't see this exciting news about about Miss Me Going Live that you put up. That's exciting. We're going live. On the road on the road like the smash it's tour of the early 90s. Yeah I mean yeah we've only got one date, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. It's very exciting. One night only. That's what it is. Yeah.

And yeah, we've been talking about it for a while and now it's like actually happening. We manifested it. It's happening. It's exciting, isn't it? I don't really know what it means or what it will mean or what it will do. Or what we're going to do. Yeah, I don't really know what it means or what it will mean or what it will do. Or what we're gonna do. Yeah, I don't really know what we're gonna do. I'm thinking Jungle Rave. Bear with me.

Maybe like, Jungle Rave meets Women's Hour. I like where you're going with this. Charlotte Roberts said to me once, I love Miss Me, it's like the big breakfast meets Women's Hour. And I was like, that's good. And it sounds like light lunch. No, fuck you. Yeah, maybe it is a bit like Rebel daytime TV. No, I think we'll be fine. I think we'll have a great time.

We've both done things in a live arena space before. I actually realized that when I first did live television, my god, that was so scary. I was only 17. I've been doing pop world for about six months or something. So it's also a bit weird. And then they were like, you're going to do T4 with June Sarpong in the T4 studio, which let's not forget was just the canteen in the Channel 4 offices in Victoria. But I knew them as this place on TV and I was like, Jesus Christ. And I was trying to figure out what was so scary about it. And I think it's because as a human being, you can't comprehend millions of people looking at you at the same time. But knowing that that is the truth

gives an adrenaline that you can't really match in any way. And at that point in my first ever experience of it, I didn't know what to do with that adrenaline. I think I vomited a bit. I was so nervous, Lily. And it was now, I mean, it was such a little thing. It was like a couple links with June on a Friday afternoon.

It's so funny that you say that because whenever I've done like live TV stuff, I'm always so much more concerned with my immediate environment. So how I'm coming across to like the cameraman, the production team, you know, whoever else is in the room, then I, I forget that like what is happening on the camera is going out to a much bigger audience. You forget there's an audience. Do you mean being a guest on things?

Yeah, like being a guest on things. Even like performing on stage, like if I was to do like Glastonbury or something, then it's the audience. I forget that there's also another one that's watching. Did you say Glastonbury? Did you say Glastonbury? Did you say Glastonbury? Cute picture. There it is. Now, this is a picture of the crowd that you played to

the banging year, 2009? There were a few banging years. Let's not just say one, there was one. No, but no, no, no, no. I'm talking about the fear being number one globally, and you almost, I think you're like second head, below headline, and you look fantastic. The day that Michael Jackson died.

Oh, was it? Yeah. It's also the day that I got together with Sam, my ex-husband. I know, a monumental weekend, but that doesn't come into live TV, so we'll save that for marriages. Right, so how do you feel when you're so you're

there looking at all those people I think it's like what uh 100 000 yeah probably about 100 000 I don't know do you because actually if you double it it's that plus glass and people getting a few million people watching so do you have any idea of all those numbers mixed together because as a broadcaster that is exactly what you're thinking about. The audience at home matched with who's in front of you. No. Like if I was hosting like T4 on the beach. Cue picture.

Thank you Will, I'm better. This is what you can expect from Miss Me Live by the way. It's just some slides of our past endeavors. We're getting prepared. So this is what we're expecting. These are the kind of crowds we're used to. But isn't that funny? Right, so my crowd I think is like 40,000,

but that crowd, let's not forget, are not there to see me. They're there for T4 and what that means and all the other pop stars. But Glastonbury, they're there to see you, which is your live experience often. Even if you're a guest on a show, people like Lily Allenton. No, wrong, incorrect.

Mm-mm. A festival, they're not there to see you. That's the scariest thing about a festival, is that you never know how much of a crowd you're going to pull, because, you know, people are there to see all of the other bands that are there. So it's always very nerve- wracking going out to a festival crowd because you have no idea how many people are going to turn out for you.

And also usually the first 10, 20 rows of people are people that are queuing up all day and saving their place for the headliners. So that's a really hard thing to negotiate as well because your immediate crowd that you're sort of playing to are there to see, you know, Led Zeppelin, or I don't know, whoever the fuck is playing after you.

I agree, yes, I half agree, because when I watched the video of it today in my research, there's a whole, like, the first four rows are just these hysterical chicks every every line of the fear. I have to say on the flip side of it, it's absolutely fucking amazing when you put in a good crowd at a festival because you feel like you've won over other people's fan bases and that is incredibly rewarding because obviously the crowds are much bigger than what you would see at your own show, right? I'd be playing like

maximum 8,000, 10,000 capacity venues. So it's like 10 times bigger than anything else. But sometimes you're like, oh my God, no, everyone at this festival. And sometimes, you know, bookers put you on a festival that just doesn't make any sense. And you're like, oh my God, 500 people showed up. And it's really embarrassing. Oh my god, I don't know, but I don't know how people do that. But like, when I was hosting deeper on the beach, it was very different because you've got like Neo and Craig David and Peter Andre, whoever the fucking stars were at the time. So it's like those screaming kids are coming no matter what. I don't need to worry about that. And they all fancied Steve. So I was like very safe there, but you're like all exposed if you go

and your popularity is tested visually by how many people are turning up to you sing. Yes, and also what's amazing about it, especially at Glastonbury, because there's like five different entrances to that field or in the main stage. So you come on and there's like a you know, a crowd, but then you can see it grow. So you can see like more, more and more people and people staying and then it just

gets bigger and bigger and bigger. Oh my God, I'm winning. Oh my God, I'm the king. Sometimes, sometimes the opposite happens and you're like, Oh my God, they're leaving. Oh my God, that's like when people used to make me do instagram lives in lockdown and i was like making some money with like some brands and it'd be like 215 people are watching this 70 people are 12 and you're like this is de-galvanizing it's really horrible to watch things just go down as you speak luckily that doesn't happen in television the worst thing is that you're like doing well at a gig and then it gets to like half past the hour and you know that like Kasabian's starting on the stage next door and then half of the crowd just go to the side.

Enjoy Kasabian! You did well. You did well in your time. And can we just say the reason we're saying all this, not because we're bragging, not bragging, we are sissant in this crowd pleasing arena and we would like to bring some of that energy to whatever Miss Me Live could be, whatever it can become. Yeah? Yeah. Sure would be lovely. That would be great.

What else happened to me? Oh yeah and then Phoebe, I wanted to talk about what the video that Phoebe sent me of MIA, cause she said that you saw it too. I did. Yeah, MIA, Maya is someone that we've known for a long time actually, when we were 18 and 17 respectively. She went out with our very good friend Adriano on and off for like 10 years or something and she was like 28

She's 10 years old on us. I thought she was quite cool at the time again You know, this is that thing of being like being able to separate the artist from the art I think that her Creative output and her passion for you know, her beliefs, whatever those beliefs may be, is admirable. I don't agree with a lot of what she says, obviously, but. Well, I think we should paint the picture of who MIA is because not everyone knows. I mean, most people all know,

but obviously she is, she's Sri Lankan, but back and forth between Sri Lanka and London, her whole young life, her dad was like a political activist. And when she became extremely, extremely famous, especially in America, the civil war in Sri Lanka kind of escalated and went to a whole new level. And she used her platform to speak out about it and try and protect Sri Lankan people from more of the sort of terror and horror of war. And she was like ridiculously mocked and ridiculed all over. I just looked back at some of the interviews

and they're just not having it on like huge late night American talk shows and even talking about genocide on the red carpet at the Grammys. But then she becomes engaged to Benjamin, what's he called? Bronfman. Yes. Whose dad is Edgar Bronfman, who is the CEO of Warner Music Group at the time. So this means he's basically one of the most powerful men in the world. So she's got this kind of one foot in huge power in America. But yet she's a brown Sri Lankan woman talking about the genocide in her country. So it was a kind of massive moment for a pop star, whatever, someone famous, to take that stance and to stand by it. And she was

then very quickly, I refuse to use the word cancel, but kind of punished and taken kind of out of the public view and sphere by, you know, swearing at the Super Bowl. Was it, yeah. I think so. Doing a finger up. Yeah, something like that. I think they said they were gonna sue her, didn't they? They sued her for $15 million.

She was performing with Madonna. This is how big she gets. Anyway, she's recently put up a, and she's been a bit quiet for about five or six years, and she put up a video talking about how she doesn't get respect and acknowledgement for the moves that she's made but not just like being very political as a pop star in that huge space but also she was saying that she pushed the idea of streaming and digital media and all that shit pushed that to Jimmy Iovine as something that was

very important. She basically says she's invented quite a lot of things, and was at the forefront of a lot of things and doesn't get the respect. And I kind of agree with her. Yeah, I mean, I can see how somebody that, you know, is at the forefront of something and also, you know, a pioneer in lots of ways. And you know, her music is undeniably good. You know, I think that she's really, I think she's a really talented, amazing artist.

And yeah, it's really frustrating when you don't get, you know, the flowers that you deserve. I've watched that video and I felt like there was quite a lot of, you know, blaming of other people. And I'm not saying that the situation that she's got herself into is her own fault at all, because I don't believe that it is.

I think that, you know, opinionated women scare people off and are generally reprimanded for doing so. And that is a consequence of standing up for what you believe in. It's something that- What do you think the consequence is? Being kind of-

Blacklisted. Pushed out a bit. Blacklisted, yeah. Difficult, contentious. She's controversial. There's no point, you know, what's in it for us to have this controversial person that wants to talk about things that make people question what's going on in the world and the status quo

and capitalism and you know. But something that she says is that she thinks that she's been kept down because she's a brown woman and in the music industry. But then she's also calling out Beyonce and I wonder why she because I actually do agree. I do think that they have very different attitudes towards them as brown women in the music industry. But what does separate them if they are both brown women in the music industry? Why would she single herself out when Beyonce is also? I do understand what she means by marketing though,

and how differently they are marketed and supported. I'm very wary of talking about Beyonce for obvious reasons, but I would also say Beyonce is an amazing artist. She steers clear of, you know, controversial issues. I think she is political in her own way. But I also think there is a lot to be said for proximity to male power. And I think that Beyonce's relationship with Jay-Z

protects her in a way that someone like Maya doesn't have that kind of protection. Maybe she did when she was with that Bronfman guy. That's what I was gonna say exactly. And that's when she did seem more protected. Correct. And kept sort of in a safer, lighter place. Let's just hear what

Maya said. Let's actually let Maya talk about it for a second. I find it difficult that when people make it, they always fucking turn around and thank Beyonce because that's bullshit. And enough is enough. I'm coming for everyone now. And even Adele, it's like guns out for this bitch because she's retired now but her career would not exist if I hadn't made Jonathan Dickens into a manager who is her manager she signed to XL because of me Nick Huggott was my A&R who signed her and this bitch when she gets an award she thanks Beyonce and I'm sick and tired of all of these fucking women who don't want to give respect to me

because I'm a brown woman in music. Well I will give respect to you Maya I think that you are brilliant and I love your music. I'd like to see some strength and light poured over, not only what she has done, but who she is and who she always has been. I think it's fucking great who she is and how strong she's always been. I will just say, I'm not quite sure about the Adele thing.

I think that one was the reach. That was the reachiest part. Sorry to bring it back to me but actually Nick Huggott tried to sign me and Richard Russell or XL wouldn't let him. They weren't convinced by me and then I went on to do very well and so Nick Huggott was then he said, you didn't let me sign Lillian and let me sign Adele. And he did. He signed Adele. Okay, so we'll give one nil to Lillian on that one. Zero to MIA. And we'll give MIA being a strong leader as a pop star in this game from time from day always from her heart with strength and courage and wisdom.

We'll give that point to MIA. Isn't Nick Huggett that guy in the bloody Amy Winehouse documentary that discovers her as well? No, that's Nick Szymanski. Okay. I just remember being really, maybe intimidated, but just like very impressed with Maya back in the day. If I could have been a tenth as cool as I thought she was, then I would have.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. We were all in the same gang. It's not like she was even from a different part of London. No, but I just mean she did all her own artwork and she made all of the beats and she came up with this fucking cool sound that no one else had even touched, anything like that. She was really like... Game changing. It was really impressive and really cool. I have lots of time and respect for that era of Maya.

It was 100%. Are there things that you feel like you've done that you wouldn't want to say you've done? Because I've got a few. What do you mean? Like a few things that you may think that you did first. Um, haven't you got any of those? Have you got one of those like youngest female to reach the da da da in 90s, any of that

stuff? No. Because I got a plaque. I got a plaque from Radio 1 when I started on Radio One as the youngest broadcaster ever on the station. Oh, I've got, I don't know if it still exists, but I know that me and my dad were the first father and daughter to have both had Christmas number ones. Excuse me.

I'll take that and frame it. And I don't even know if I did have a Christmas number one or maybe it was number ones. I don't know. I can't remember. Maybe it's number ones because you had enough and he had Vindaloo and that's how it should be. Yeah, I think maybe the only people that would be coming for you would be like Nancy and Frank Sinatra.

So I think you're good. Or like Kelly and Ozzy Osbourne. Let's not. I don't think they came close. Good. Or like Kelly and Ozzy Osbourne. Let's not. I don't think they came close. Good. We sufficiently told Maya she's a fucking G. I really wanted to get that across because we do know her and I love Maya. But hang on. I do also want to carry out a lot of what she has been saying recently. I do not agree with. So I just wanted to get that out there. I love her as an artist and much in the same way as with Kanye, I don't really agree with

the rhetoric around Judaism and, you know. Well, you don't need to say it. She said it, so let's leave that to her. She said it, but then we've said that we love her and agree with her. I just want to make sure that everyone knows I don't agree with that okay. I just have always agreed with who she is and I've always loved her as a friend and a human being and fucking icon. Also I just and to be honest like when I watched that video I just felt like she seems really

sad and really frustrated and I've been there you know. In fact I am there, I am there. I am there. I was going to say, post it. No, but that's why, that's kind of why I wanted to talk to you about it as well, because yeah, it is sad, but also there must be things in that, that you, it's just that anger and frustration of like this behemoth of shit that can one person change.

I mean, the thing about the whole, like, you know, of like this behemoth of shit that can one person change. I mean, the thing about the whole like, you know, actually sick of everyone saying thank you to Beyonce is that, you know, when people are successful or want to be successful, you know, and we do it with Instagram and social media, it's like your association with other people that are successful is like a marketing ploy, you know?

No one's gonna be like, thanks to Maya. Like half of the world don't know who Maya is. Everyone knows who Beyonce is. So if you're gonna use that platform to associate yourself with someone that everybody loves, like that's a win. So that's why people do it. I think it's so much cooler to say someone that like only the right people would remember. Anyway, I don't want to say I can't handle the beehive either.

I don't want to deal with the beehive in recovery. So let's just put that to the side now and have a little break. Should we have a little break, my love? Let's have a break. Have you seen have you seen on what that WhatsApp have taken the dots that they used to only have on text? No. You know, like the dots of like, I'm typing.

Oh yeah. They only, only used to be on text and no one uses text anymore so you never see them and now they've been bought, I guess, by WhatsApp and they're on WhatsApp and it reminded me of that fucking time when you and Tan used to send the dots to people so that they would think someone was about to text them. So you get these dots, you're like, oh, here we go. I think one time I did half an hour, I was like, they're not texting me. They've sent me just the dots.

It's kind of brilliant, but fucked up. Anyway, let's have a breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky

breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky breaky World of Secrets is where untold stories are exposed, and in this new series we investigate

the dark side of the wellness industry, following the story of a woman who joined a yoga school only to uncover a world she never expected. I feel that I have no other choice. The only thing I can do is to speak about this. Where the hope of spiritual breakthroughs leaves people vulnerable to exploitation. You just get sucked in so gradually and it's done so skillfully that you don't realize. World of Secrets, the bad guru. Listen wherever you get your BBC podcasts. ["The BBC Podcasts"]

["The BBC Podcasts"] Welcome back, welcome back. I had quite a lot of love. I have to say a lot of people checking in on me. It's been really nice, cause I was kind of- That's how it should be. And also I think that that is testament to who you are and how important you are to other people in their lives because if you weren't then people wouldn't bother, you know.

So I think that everyone checked in on you and made sure that you were alright is a testament to how much and how well you show up for others in your life. Thank you. I wanted it to mean that. So thank you. And it does mean that. It does mean that. They weren't getting paid. So. But actually, like with Zeddi and stuff, the first week I couldn't walk her because when she pulls, it literally pulls on your abdomen. Sorry, abdomen. I mean, I should know this after my anatomical situation because obviously the picture that has been seen by the family There's now being shared around the family of the 23 fibroids I got removed and they took my appendix

Well, yeah, and and everyone's like you don't need you don't need it fine We'll go into that later, but then someone the other day goes. Yes, you do. I was like Cuz it's gone now. I didn't I didn't ask for it to go. But anyway, I don't have an appendix anymore. I feel extremely light and clear from the whole situation and procedure. Can you feel the difference? Mm-hmm.

Really? Really, they said I had a solar system of fibroids sort of in my womb and around my womb. So, and 23 and two of them were the size of like melons. I don't want to be too gory, but this is really important. I think people should know that there's stuff going on in their body that you just accept. So fibroids are non-cancerous growths that grow in and around the womb. I think one in three women might get them and no one really gets checked out about them. And they are, they are rife. So I'm really happy. I feel like I was given a real gift

to get them taken out of my body. I urge every woman I know and I don't to do the same, just to have a little check. Yes. And I had to have a epidural in my spine so that I woke up not in agony. So that was all, it all felt, I do keep getting flashbacks to that kind of particular part of it. And it does feel like I went through some weird like horror film. Just to kind of think about yourself anatomically. Anatomically. Is that the right word? Yeah.

Yeah. Just to think of like all these organs within your body working so hard just to keep you alive. I'm just suddenly very aware of my body and everything that it does to just keep going. That reminds me when before George died, my baby George, I'm very aware of my body and everything that it does to just keep going. That reminds me when, before George died, my baby George, when they knew that he was going to be born early and that he would have to be looked after in the ICU if he came out and had survived. And they took me and Sam on this tour of the ICU unit. And there was this one room that they took us into

and they said, you know, there's like 15 million pounds worth of equipment in this room. And these are all the machines that we'll need to, you know, keep the baby alive. And I was like, just flabbergasted, I was like, oh my God, that's so amazing. And she said, not as amazing as you

because you do that on your body. Exactly, genuinely the reproductive system and just all of the organs within our body, because I no longer have an appendix, so there's a little new space there. I've just been thinking about like how crucial because basically everyone lives in their head and in their thoughts and constantly thinking that it's just a world between you and your brain and actually there's all this work being done throughout your body that is actually mind-blowing like actually mind-blowing. So I feel like from that I'm quite changed. I feel like I've seen

myself from the inside out and that's not really something you can unsee. I was playing toying with the idea of showing the world the pictures of the fibroids that came out of my body but I think we'll spare them. I think we don't need that. I think we don't need that. So anyway, in my recovery I've been watching masses of TV and film. And, God, you've spanned a lot of genres, Lily. I watched maybe like 400 films and 400 TV shows or whatever. And you were in four things. What?

Your songs. Your songs were in four things. I was going to say, I haven't done four things. No. Tamara Drew. Okay, yeah. Girls in a really good scene. That's right, yay.

And then a very suspicious film that I watched for my sins that Jemima Khan wrote called What's Love Got To Do With It? Starring Lily James and Emma Thompson. Yeah, yeah, I heard about that. Very suspect film. Also, a lot of my music is still used as like, you know, bedding tracks for like daytime TV,

like under the homes, under the hammer and things like that. Make that money, money. Do you still get paid for that? No, I do not get paid. Why not? Because it's like a blanket, you know, BBC fee or, they probably paid me about like 70 pounds and got to use it for 25 years

Never accept to buy out But I'm a bit I'm a bit TV and filmed out and I feel like I'm a little bit back in the world now Which feels it feels really good. Good. What about you? Do you feel back in the world? Oh, I was in Newcastle filming outside in Storm Dera like in 90 mile per hour winds outside in Stormderra, like in 90 mile per hour winds, it was freezing cold in 1910 costume. It was like, it was excruciating. Actually, thank God for that costume. That would have kept you quite warm because it's like corsets and lots of layers.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh no, because you're poor. Yeah. No, I wasn't poor. I'm not poor. Oh no, because you're poor. Yeah. No, I wasn't poor. I'm not poor. Oh, but you're a rebel. I'm a rebel. But it's more, the costumes were not written for storm scenes, but the costumes didn't

change for the storm. So yeah, they had to be continuity. So I was not, it was fucking cold. And it was, I'm surprised that I did not really ill. I guess I've been taking these like immunity tablets and so I think they've been helping me. God, you've had quite the fucking two weeks, haven't you? I actually can't even remember what I've been doing. Like, I was in Newcastle and I came to London and I went back to New York for a few days.

Then I went back to Newcastle. Yeah, I can't remember what I've been doing. My brain is. Don't worry, it's nearly Christmas. I've only got one Christmas present and guess who's it is? Yours. Mine. Yeah.

I know, oh my God. I got something very good for Marnie yesterday. Very good. Actually, it's brilliant. Proud of myself. And then after this, I'm gonna go buy a tree. And everyone keeps telling me I'm too early. I'm like, what are you talking about? It's like. I'm proud of myself. And then after this, I'm going to go buy a tree. And everyone keeps telling me I'm too early. I'm like, what are you talking about?

It's like halfway through Christmas. I've got a tree. We put a tree up in our flat in London. Sugarplum Christmas fairy Phoebe was like, no, no, it's too early. What are you waiting for? The advent calendar has been sprung open. No, because we're leaving to go on holiday on the 22nd. So I am Christmas it up. Yeah, you know, I need to get Yeah, it's Ethel's been asking for a tree since

November the 25th. Her birthday. She's like, so you did it. So your trees are right. I'm gonna go get my tree and make it very Christmasy. And then what Christmas things are you going to do in New York? Like that's a pretty Christmas town. I'm actually not gonna be in New York. You're doing it in London Christmas? No, I'm going to Africa. Oh right, yeah, yeah, yeah, see you there. We'll save that. We will be seeing each other in Africa.

Okay, well, it's lovely to be home and actually be at home and kind of crawl just a little bit back into working. Just a little bit, one step at a time. I am gonna go back to bed now. Why you? Oh. Yeah, I only get kind of a burst of energy for a few hours

and then I have to lie the fuck down because I have to remember I really did get cut open. Yeah. But I'm a little, as Jamie Winston said to me once, Keats, you're a little bit back. That's how I feel. Just a little as Jamie Winston said to me once kids. You're a little bit back that's how I feel just a little bit back and I'll be back even more for listen bitch on Monday and the theme is therapy. Oh god I've been missing my therapy and I've had some really bad therapy sessions recently. So let's go Okay, I'll see you on Monday, babe. Yeah, I'll see you on Monday babe yeah I'll see you Monday

um three whole days away I might have to call you over the weekend I might have to call you over the weekend I'm ready for more contact with people now so I'll call you this weekend love ya I love you too bye thanks for listening to miss me with Lily Allen and Makita Oliver. This is a Persephoneca production for BBC Sounds. Hello. I hate to pull you away from Lily and Makita, but I've got to tell you about a great new podcast called Diddy on Trial. It's presented by me and Ashkama Tandadaweety and it's all about Sean Diddy Combs. Diddy's occupied a top spot in the music industry for decades.

Now, he's sat in a notorious New York jail awaiting trial. He denies all the allegations against him. Every week, I'll be examining the latest cases, interrogating the rumors, and answering your questions. Listen to Diddy on trial on BBC Sounds. Yoga is more than just exercise. It's the spiritual practice that millions swear by. And in 2017, Miranda, a university tutor from London, joins a yoga school that promises profound transformation. It felt a really safe and welcoming space. After the yoga classes I felt amazing.

But soon, that calm, welcoming atmosphere leads to something far darker, a journey that leads to allegations of grooming, trafficking and exploitation across international borders. I don't have my passport, I don't have my phone, I don't have my bank cards, I have nothing. The passport being taken, the being in a house and not feeling like they can leave. World of Secrets is where untold stories are unveiled and hidden realities are exposed. In this new series we're confronting the dark side of the wellness industry, where the hope of a spiritual breakthrough gives way to disturbing accusations. You just get sucked in so gradually and it's done so skillfully that you don't realize. And it's like this secret that's there.

I wanted to believe that, you know, that whatever they were doing, even if it seemed gross to me, was for some spiritual reason that I couldn't even understand. Revealing the hidden secrets of a global yoga network. I feel that I have no other choice. The only thing I can do is to speak about this

and to put my reputation and everything else on the line. I want truth and justice and for other people to not be hurt, for things to be different in the future. To bring it into the light and almost alchemize some of that evil stuff that went on. And take back the power. World of Secrets, Season 6, The Bad Guru. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.