Miss Me? - ChatS**tGPT

Episode Date: November 7, 2024

Lily and Miquita discuss the U.S. election, Martha Stewart’s new Netflix documentary, the death of Quincy Jones, and the peculiar traditions of graduation ceremonies.This episode contains very strong language and adult themes. Credits: Producer: Jonathan O’Sullivan Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Production Coordinator: Hannah Bennett Executive Producers: Dino Sofos and Ellie Clifford Assistant Commissioner for BBC: Lorraine Okuefuna Commissioning Editor for BBC: Dylan Haskins Miss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

BBC Sounds, music, radio, podcasts. This episode of Miss Me contains very strong language, adult themes and politics. I was taking with my sister from New York City. She said she noticed ballplayer and he think I'm pretty. Sike. Welcome to Miss Me on this big day. We are sitting in the midst of the results of the US election. We are. It feels a bit like we're on the news, doesn't it? It's like literally just in.

It's 9am on Wednesday morning on the 6th of November the day after bonfire night and also the Morning of the results of the US election Trump has won Donald Trump is looking to be the new President of the United States of America Shall we have a clip of Trump's kind of final speech and what his final energy was before winning this? After all we have been through together, we stand on the verge of the four greatest years in American history.

You watch, it's gonna be so good, it's gonna be so much fun. It'll be nasty a little bit at times and maybe at the beginning in particular, but it's gonna be something. We're gonna go to heights that this country never has reached and nobody ever even thought it could. Why do things have to be nasty? It's an interesting immediate precedent to set as your energy of running a country. Things are going to be nasty. They're going to be nasty to begin with and then it's going to be good.

Don't feel particularly nice coming from somebody that's a convicted felon and also a sex pest. And it's gonna be a bit nasty but then we're gonna have a good time. Just shut up and deal with it. I think there is a part of the campaign that feels like he can say anything he wants though. Well listen he's fucking won. Yeah he he's won. And he's won fair and square. And he's won on this rhetoric. It's terrifying for a number of reasons, but particularly as women, there's a lot of rhetoric coming out of the GOP and Donald Trump's camp that is scary for women. And I am a woman myself, and also I'm a mother to two children who are you know about

one's about to be 13 and the other's about to be 12 and I am concerned about them living under this rule. Yeah. Thank god you've got that new London flat good timing. A bolt hole if you will. It was almost as if I planned it this way. I went out for dinner last week when I just before I left New York with a bunch of friends, more acquaintances. I went out for dinner with a bunch of acquaintances and people that were all sort of you know in and around my age you know they were like wearing cool clothes like supreme hoodies, and blah, blah, blah. The subject of politics came up and we were talking about voting, and a few of them were not from New York, but were from out of New York, so they were doing postal votes. There were about seven of us, and it transpired that five of them were going to vote for Trump. And I was very interested to hear that.

But also not particularly, and listen, this is my own opinion and I have no proof of it. But earlier on in the evening, we had been talking about how much time we spent on our phones and on social media. And the people that were voting for Trump, there was a correlation between how much time they spent on TikTok specifically. And they were talking about how their algorithm leaned towards conspiracy theories. And I just wonder out loud if there is a correlation between that and why you would want to vote for something that whose policies don't necessarily serve you and your interests. And yeah, I thought that that was

interesting. It should be, we've just heard that Donald Trump has taken, or the Republicans have taken the Senate. Which is a lot of power to hold. I just wonder if people realize that some of the content that they're consuming, although it may not be labeled as straight up propaganda, that it is. And I just wonder how much critical thinking is going on. I read this book years ago, I think it was called Propaganda by this guy called Edward Bernays, who was basically this sort of person that invented public relations as we know it. And there was like a bit in it about, you know, when he first sort of started his public relations business that, I think it was Steinway and Sons, the piano company, were their first client. And so they were like, right, how

do we convince people to buy pianos, which are obviously a huge inconvenience. And the way that they did it was by not selling people pianos, but by selling rich people the idea that what they needed in their houses were music rooms. Mm hmm. I love you giving me some history. That's right. Okay. Interesting. So they basically like went and did a bunch of work with like the interior magazines of the time and architects. And it became like the fashion for, you know, the people in society to have music rooms in their house. And when you have a music room, what is the first thing that you're going to buy to fill it with? Piano.

A piano. But that is instead of saying you need to afford a piano, you need to find the money for a piano, which would give people stress and anxiety and feel that they're not good enough that they can't afford it. It's like, no, no, no. Think of this as the life you want to live.

Yeah, under the guise of selling you something else. ["Sweet Home Alone"] We need to talk about Martha. There is a Martha Stewart documentary on Netflix. Oh, well you better believe there is! Both of which me and Makita watched independently of each other, and we hadn't even discussed it and I said to Makita, have you watched the Martha thing? She was like, oh my god, yes. That woman. Well, the interesting thing is she's not particularly, I didn't like her. I didn't fall in love with her watching the documentary. I did. But, oh, okay. I saw quite a lot of myself in Martha, I have to say. Interesting. She can be quite disconnected. Yes, she was very just like straight talking and unapologetic.

And I sort of felt like an affinity with her in a really... Especially when people kept saying, you know, how... Because people quite often... Listen, I would think that, you know, people that listen to this podcast regularly would hopefully think that I'm quite like a warm and nice person. But off of this podcast, people quite often say that I can be quite cold and I would always defend myself and say that I'm not a cold person but I can disconnect when I'm feeling overwhelmed. And I felt like I saw that in Martha Stewart in that documentary.

Martha does it too. Yeah. I was like, Mummy! I see it! The mom I should have had, Martha Stewart. We need to talk about Martha Stewart and who she is for anyone that doesn't know, but the incredible thing about Martha Stewart is there probably is very few people who don't know who she is.

She was a sort of affluent housewife in like upstate New York, is that where they were? Connecticut. And she, very clever, she married a man who then became a book publisher of some of the greatest art books of the 70s and 80s. And she started having all these brilliant people round for dinner and started doing these incredible, basically she like invented tablescaping, which gives her no credit. Yeah, she had like a catering business that then just sort of like grew and grew because she was moving around with the Movers and Shakers, the Hamptons and catering for everybody's

parties and you know, the Hamptons is a sort of place where titans of industry go for the weekend. It's sort of like the Chipping Norton of New York, shall we say. So it's a very good reference. There'll be like, yeah, you know, big players from Wall Street and celebrities, movie stars, literary stars. I have to say, I was so into it. Like, I was like, what's this life? I love these clothes, these beautiful spreads of cheese and grapes and, I mean, she really

did know what she was doing. And you've got to remember, she was the first. People didn't do things like this. That wasn't something that people trusted. All the people that she went to get investment for when she turned her catering business into actually a magazine, Martha Stewart Living, you know, she goes to all these different people, including Rupert Murdoch, and he says, no one wants this. And then she goes to Time and says, living will go on forever.

Lifestyle, the way we live is endless. And they give it to her. They give her this huge investment for a magazine and it becomes absolutely huge. But what really is exciting is she makes so much money that she can buy Martha Stewart Living back from Time and then owns it and then goes public. And that's when the crazy shit happens.

That's when it's just so nuts. Watching this also still, it feels rare. There's like Oprah, sure. But to watch a woman stand in that kind of setting in the stock exchange and go public and to watch her shares go from an initial offer of 18 million to sort of, I think it's like 48 million. It's a beautiful thing to watch happen. And then they come for her.

Of course. They come for her, Lily. I couldn't believe what I was watching. I know. It's so shameless. And as someone really at the center of this is Jim Comey. Should we say exactly what happened with the insider trading with Martha? Yeah, so she was accused of insider trading. She had shares in a medical company, I think it was, and the family of the person that owned the company started selling their stocks in said company on the same day that Martha sold her stocks in the company. It looked a little iffy. Sure.

They brought charges against her but it should be said that I don't believe that that was actually what the charges were against her in the end. It was lying. Yes and that's why it feels so fucking personal. He's so angry and anger that can only really be incensed by the fear of something more powerful than you being near you and watching it rise. I hear a woman making herself the first self-made female billionaire. They fucking come for her and they win. They send her to jail and it's a travesty I have to say because it completely do. It's kind of a travesty but it also kind of becomes the making of her in lots of ways.

Well, so much so. I know that she was a huge success story before it happened anyway, but it did kind of feel like there were, you know, she wasn't fulfilled in a certain way. There was like a part of her life that she still had to experience. I wonder if you asked her if she could change the past if she would, because it feels like she kind of like did some pretty cool shit. Her relationship with Snoop Dogg and the Justin Bieber roast and all of that stuff wouldn't have happened if she hadn't have gone to jail and she wouldn't have had this sort of like second. Yes, well what happens is she owns it because sorry, because I'm a broadcaster that's had a career

that's gone so up and so down. I'm very aware of what happens when she first gets out of jail, which is she makes the wrong decision. She signs with the guy who created the American Apprentice and he doesn't understand who Martha Stewart is and why she's brilliant. And he makes her sort of caricature of herself on this new daytime show. And it flops hugely. Again, the first time in her life, she doesn't listen to herself. And then she listens to herself. And also sorry, the first time in her life that she hasn't been in control. Exactly. Because she is a convicted felon like our newly elected president, she can't be the CEO of her own company anymore.

So she's having to answer to, you know, other people, men. And funnily enough, they fuck it up. They don't understand what it is that she's about and what is essential to her success that it all starts to go wrong. But then she kind of reels it back. But I did want to say this is the second documentary I've watched about an extremely powerful woman and their careers existed before social media. And for some reason, this general rhetoric and this narrative of they were the original influencer, like with the Elizabeth Taylor one, she was the original influencer. No, she fucking wasn't. She was an actress.

She was an incredibly gifted actress who changed the game and supported, you know, through light on the disaster that was the AIDS crisis. That's not a fucking influencer. I think there needs to be a real distinction between having a circle of influence on Instagram, like you know those people who have five million followers and you've never fucking heard of them, or someone like Martha Stewart, who actually became an adjective bitch,

like, oh, I'm doing a bit Martha Stewart, that's quite Martha Stewart, that is influence and that is power. Becoming part of the general colloquial discourse of the world, that is power. And I really am starting to tire of people having to tie power in with what we are told power is now, which is to be an influencer on Instagram. It's not the same thing. We can dissect influence another day. We did a whole listen bitch on it.

Oh shit. Shit, we've done that. And also one other thing I wanted to say, weirdly, she sort of did create Instagram because not being an influencer, Instagram, this idea of perfection, there was so much about perfection and beauty, she would always go, that's perfect, or it's a good thing. It's a very good thing. It's a very good thing. And people started to, not taking it the wrong way, but it started to make people feel a certain way about the way they live and the things they had and the way they presented

their lives to the world. Sound familiar? And they thought it might be quite dangerous. They were right. I mean, I guess the thing is, when those days, there weren't 10,000 Martha Stewart's and it wasn't like in your feed permanently. It was something that you dipped into maybe once a day or on a weekend when you had a couple of spare hours, you'd sit down with one of her magazines. So it wasn't something that you had to stare at her perfect life all day long, every day. But I will be buying entertaining Martha Stewart, the first book. How good does that book look?

She also had a quite an interesting attitude towards sex and fidelity. Yes. No, absolutely. What did she say? Because she talks about that she got married when she was really young, and she went on an extended honeymoon around Europe with her husband. And there was one afternoon where her husband wanted to stay at home and she wanted to go to the Duomo in Florence, the amazing cathedral there. And so she goes off there on her own for an afternoon and she's so overcome and overpowered by all the beauty and the frescoes and the paintings and the music and the whole sort of what was going on in there. And she

kind of like connected with this complete stranger and kisses him. Yeah. And the interviewers talking to her about it, she's got this very matter of fact sort of face on and he's like, would you say that, you know, this was infidelity, you know, you'd only just got married and she's like, no, no, it was just emotional. That was it, she said it was emotional. Loved that. But also her emotional experience and how she was feeling and responding to that without the conscious feeling of what

it meant to her husband because it wasn't, I think that takes away from infidelity, it was about her. But it's funny, isn't it? Because most people would say that when you're doing something emotionally with someone, that's infidelity. Oh yeah. But for Martha Stewart, it's the other way around. Isn't it funny? We're all so different, aren't we? Yeah. Can I also say that that husband of hers becomes the most awful cheating affair.

No, but hang on because they, yes, it turns out that the husband starts having lots of affairs, one person being one of her assistants. Yes. She says, you know, young girls, you know, if your husbands are out there cheating on you, something or other, and then the interviewer goes, yeah, but your husbands are out there cheating on you or something or other. And then the interviewer goes, yeah, but didn't you have an affair when you were working in

Wall Street? And she was like, well, yes, but that was nothing. Yeah, but that was just silly. It's like, okay, well, that was just silly. Hey, you know who died this week and it was very sad? Quincy Jones. Can I even start? What week? It's not been a great week.

No, but actually I will cry because I love him so much and I called you to say like, it doesn't affect me that much when famous people die, especially if I go on Instagram, it takes all the pain away and it just becomes another circus of bullshit. But this cut me deep and I think it's because I watched the Quincy documentary about five years ago, quite a formative time in my life, and I was like, oh, that's how you live life. Oh, that's how you live life, okay.

You gotta attack it, you gotta go for it. And I think, of course, when he passed away, Quincy Beautiful Jones at 91, what a great innings, what a life he had. And he used up every single one of those days that he was given. It's sort of celebrated across radio. I won't be specific about what radio I was listening to for producing Thriller for Michael Jackson, but he did so much more than that, including, you know, working with some of

the greatest composers of our time in 1930s Paris and teaching himself how to be an incredible composer of music. He composes music for films like The Italian Job, The Color Purple. He then writes Fly Me to the Moon with Frank Sinatra and continues to work with Frank Sinatra till his dying day. He then writes, it's my party and I'll cry if I want to. Like anything that has touched your life musically, it's pretty certain Quincy Jones was part of, which not many people can say. If you watch the Quincy documentary on Netflix made by his daughter Rashida Jones, the brilliant,

beautiful actress, you will understand that when they get to Thriller, he's already had 17 lives and then he meets Michael Jackson and then makes one of the most incredible albums of all time, including Off the Wall as well. I still haven't watched that documentary. I really need to watch it. Also, I have to say in the documentary, you realize how he lives his life. Not only does he attack his life, you know, he has a mother with really severe schizophrenia, a black woman in 1930s Chicago in the slums. She is put in a straight jacket in front of his eyes when he's four years old and dragged away from his life. It's so sad. And he says that he runs, that's why he kind of does so much, because he runs, because he can't sit with the pain of his mother.

But he's so honest about it and the way he treats people is something I really learned through the documentary. Kind, good-ass fucking man, like just kind and present and is there to serve and give to people. This is the quote that he said that I say to myself every morning and I said it the morning that Quincy Jones died, which is, if we're lucky, we get 28,000 days. That takes us to 70. If we're really lucky, we get 29,000 days. That takes us to 80. And I'm going to use up every single one of those days and he fucking did and he got another 10 years.

Yeah, got another 10 years. So remember Lily, all we have is days. I met him once. Yeah, it was really funny actually that I sort of made a joke and he really laughed at it and it made me feel like I'd won at life. Totally. Oh my god, he made Quincy Jones giggle. Yeah, it was at the Grammys and Mark Ronson, it was the first year that Mark had won big at the Grammys. I remember that year. Maybe he'd won record of the year or something.

And so I was sitting outside by the pool with Rashida and Quincy and Mark wasn't there. And I think Rashida was introducing me to Quincy was like, you know, this is Lily, she's friends with Mark and Quincy went, where is Mark? And I was just like, oh, he's in the toilet updating his Wikipedia page. Good! Thank God. Very good.

Quincy literally started creasing. He was like, that's the funniest shit I've ever heard. I was like, oh my God. You did win at life. You did win at life. You did win at life. You did win at life. You did win at life. You did win at life. You did win at life. You did win at life. You did win at life. He literally started creasing. He was like, that's the funniest shit I ever heard.

I was like. Oh my God. You did win at life. You did win at life. I was like, I made Quincy Jones laugh. I have won. That's what you did with that day. I was making them count.

I was thinking about what crazy lives we all have. I was thinking about what crazy lives we will have as I stood in the disabled toilet of the Holiday Inn in Leeds. What did you mean by disabled toilet, Makita? Sorry, because my mum was changing, so we needed a bit more room and there was no one trying to use it, so we went in there and it's where I used to change when I was doing a show called The Steph Show for Channel 4 about five years ago when I was trying to get my career back. It was hard work, it was locked down, I was going to Leeds twice a week, but it was great. I loved them, they were all so lovely to me. I did it for about a year, never thought I'd go back to this hotel and there

I was in the loo with my mum and my Auntie Nana and my grandma was also there, my Uncle John, who's 95 came, and my mum was being honoured, no, not honoured, being given an honorary MA, Masters of the Arts, for her services to arts and culture from Leeds University. This is a very big deal for my mother who didn't really finish school and was in London in a band by 15, really, for Ritwick. So this is academia. This is a place that we don't really, even though my uncle John is a teacher, he was the first black headmaster in London and my grandma was a teacher for 40 years. We have a lot of teachers in our family but that stopped my mom and my uncle short when they went to join the circus of punk. So this was a big deal. Lily, my mom was in a cap and gown. Oh, did she love it?

Did she have a nice day? Yeah, and she did the greatest speech. I was like, oh my God, my mom is Oprah. Because I said to her, she said, what's my energy? I said, this isn't broadcasting. You're not presenting, you're here to inspire. And it's about you. Quite a lot of what she's doing when she's broadcasting

is trying to bring the best out in other people and put it onto them. Whereas this was about her. Yeah, like Andy fucking all of them. My nanny was really emotional and takes quite a lot to get nanny emotional. Nana was taking photos of her like she was like her child. I think it's quite a big deal for them as well. But the ceremony was nuts. I have never been. Why were there other people getting their degrees and stuff? Yes, so everyone else who were mainly sort of in their early 20s, but then a few people

who I suppose had come back for further education to get an MA in something in their 50s and 60s. Right. It was a big ceremony with people in gowns and what they called those sticks. I asked everyone on Miss Mee did get us some research because I realized I don't know anything about this archaic traditional ceremony of- Graduation.

Of graduation, exactly. Do you know anything about it? Me? Yeah. You're talking to me? Yeah. Oh yeah, why? Well, yes. No.

No. I said all to my wife, it's fine, I'll ask ask Lily because she'll know. Of course you don't. I left school before you even did. Don't you actually have a GCSE? I don't. I don't. Yes, I have one. Yeah. Ceremonial Maces. This is a graduation tradition that goes back to the Middle Ages. And it's a heavy and elaborately decorated pole toted by a high ranking official. So all these scholars come through in these medieval gowns. I mean, people that have graduated would be like, yeah, I'm more at standard, but I have never been privy to this kind of ceremony.

Privy! Privy is a good word, isn't it? I didn't even go to school either. I haven't been privy to this. But I was really intrigued and it was really beautiful to watch these people go up and know that they've done all this hard work. They even tip the hat. They'll be like, thank you, that's part of the ceremony. So now for the administration of prizes or whatever, master of arts in graphic design.

Some of them were in like the graphic novel. I was like, what comics? Like, come on, please. But everything else, it was really beautiful. Okay, so you're studying photography. Good for you. And seeing these people, Nana said the same thing. Nana was like, why was that so emotional? And we were like, I think it's because you're watching these people at the brink of the future of their life in a way that we didn't have that standing on a stage and going, I guess my future begins now. So amazing university. I've been in Newcastle this week shooting a movie and my cousin Nell is at Newcastle University. So I took her out for dinner on Monday night. We went for

a curry. That's nice for you. Or curry. No, that's right. We went for a curry. Geordie is tough, so good luck. No, I'm actually really good at Geordie, but I just can't say curry. Curry, there you go. There it is. So, actually, I'm quite good at it.

Anyways, so I went for a curry and then I walked her to St. Spies local and bought her some baki. Did you? You're the best auntie ever. I know. I was like, do you need a top-up for your phone as well? I gave her a month's top-up for her phone, bought her some baki. And then I was like, I'll walk you home and I'll get an Uber from there. So I went to student accommodation. Never been. No, you didn't.

Yeah, I did. And then I got into the hallway and then suddenly I saw that there were like loads of like students in the kitchen and she was like come and say hi. I was like absolutely not, I'm not going in there. Really I was like. I was so intimidated, I was like oh my god I can't. She was like no you have to, it's weird if you don't. I was like really?

Okay. Yeah you do have to go. And so I went into the kitchen and they were all really friendly, you know, they were like we're gonna play some cards, do you want to play cards? And I was like, no, okay, thanks. And then one girl got up and she went into the kitchen, she opened a cupboard and got something out and then went sat back down at the table and the cupboard was left open

and I was just like, I need to close the cupboard. Oh my God, yes. I just wanted to clean, I just honestly just wanted to clean the whole place. Anyway, then I was talking to Nell for a bit. We're talking about her degree. Yes. She's is her last year She's studying sociology and she's got lots of reading and writing to do surprisingly enough this week And she was saying that some friends of hers heavily used chat GPT to help them with their I asked all to miss yesterday I said aren't people just saying write me a thesis on Far From The Madding Crowd with at the forefront this. It made me think maybe I could get a degree.

And now that chat GPT is there, I reckon I could probably do it. No. Do you ever use chat GPT? Louis made me do it yesterday. I really didn't like it. We're trying to create this like magical land of a grandpa's house for a show I'm developing with our friend Louis. And I was like, let's use like pictures from Time Bandits and like, you know, SEO, trot BBC adaptation and he

was like, let's just ask Chuck GPT. And then they gave us this because the grandfather is black that we're writing. And they gave us this grandfather. And then we looked at his hand and it was only like two big fingers. I was like, it's like I'm on Ketamine. I cannot. It actually does feel like you're on drugs because it's like, it's fine, but then you look closer and it isn't, they don't have any eyes. I'm talking about visual chat GPT stuff. The copy, I hate, the copy sounds like a clown

making mistakes, but like pretending they're not. It's like, it sounds real and then you realize it isn't. It's funny, I use chat GPT more for like personal stuff. Like if me and David have had like an argument and I need to articulate it, I'll be like, write me a long text message about an argument that started with the dishwasher and ended in an argument that then escalated into an argument about our finances.

Yeah. Yeah. So what does chat say? It will be like, you know, because I don't like it talking emotionally. No, because then you give it prompts. You're like, that's great. But can you add a bit in about how I think this is all actually to do with his mom?

So you you steer it. You're like, OK, what I mean is you to say, and then you just copy and paste, copy and paste every single one until you've got enough bits that you can then like, I'm just like, I probably should have just written this. Yeah, quite. Quite. Fuck. Chat.

GVT. Do try that out in your relationships at home if you want. Yeah. See if you get the response you need from Chad GBC if you bring it into your personal and emotional lives. All right, Lil, we really have to go because we've wanged on enough today and I need to go have a spiritual moment about the future of the world. Yeah. Yeah. No, I hear you. I need to just rescind my green card. We have stuff to do today. I need to start.

I need to take my kids out of school. So sorry. I need to book my vaccinations for going and living in Papua New Guinea. OK, I love you so much. I'm so happy you're in London. I'll see you on Monday, obviously. Listen, bitch, house party. The house of representative parties. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I hope some questions like that come through, but I'm sure we'll all just be talking about all the shitty house parties we've had over our lives. We will see you then. See you later.

Bye. over our lives. We will see you then. See you later. Thanks for listening to Miss Me with Lily Allen and Makita Oliver. This is a Persephoneca production for BBC Sounds. Psst. Hey there, tired mum. Yes, you. Are you ready for a hilarious escape? We know you've got some wild stories, the kind you wouldn't share at a playdate. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma.

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