Miss Me? - I Am God

Episode Date: October 31, 2024

Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver discuss school gate politics, Rivals and violence against women.This episode contains very strong language, adult themes and discussions about violence and sexual assault. If you have been affected by any of the issues raised, you can find support via the BBC Action Line: https://bbc.co.uk/actionline/ Credits: Producer: Flossie Barratt Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Production Coordinator: Hannah Bennett Executive Producers: Dino Sofos and Ellie Clifford Assistant Commissioner for BBC: Lorraine Okuefuna Commissioning Editor for BBC: Dylan Haskins Miss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

This is the BBC. This podcast is supported by advertising outside the UK. BBC Sounds. Music, radio, podcasts. This episode of Miss Me contains very strong language, adult themes and discussions about violence and The Meaty Drop with me, Lily Allen and... Rene McEther-Oliver. Oh, it's so nice to be back after a whole week. That's how it would sound if we were like a presenting duo. We are a presenting duo. We're just doing a new style of presenting, which is very laid back.

I disagree. We're presenting something. No we're not. Even if it's just us chatting shit. We're trying to make the shit chat presentable. Yes, the meaty drop deserves our best. Yeah. And we do give it our best. Actually, don't now try and join me in unison. That will be incredibly, incredibly irritating. That's like what my kids do when they, you know, like the repetition thing, like when you start talking

and they just say exactly what you say and then they just won't stop. Don't. It's one of the most annoying things. Someone I know's boyfriend does it to them. Someone I know's boyfriend does it to them. Oh my God! Lily, fuck off! Lily, fuck off!

I'm not gonna do it, don't worry. Can we not? Can we not? People pay good money for the BBC, let's not give them that! I have a really bad toothache and I've like throbbing kept me up all night. Like, you know, you're just like, what am I gonna do? I I just have to suffer there's actually nothing to do about to think apart from take drugs and they weren't working so I've now taken some serious codeine I'm allergic to codeine oh okay well I don't really take it Phoebe took it after her accident that's kind of what I remember finding out what it was but I don't know

I'm a bit scared of codeine but oh god the pain so you got you might have to cradle me through and I'll chat today I was sick last week and I took a bit scared of codeine, but oh god, the pain. So you might have to cradle me through our chat today. I was sick last week and I took a Tylenol, thinking that it was just a normal Tylenol and it was a Tylenol PM, and it was like first thing in the morning and it just knocked me out for like a whole day. You told me this and I just,

I don't believe there's something over the counter that can knock us out. Well, this is America, babes. I took American ibuprofen yesterday because I got them when I was in New York staying at your house and they did fuck all and I was like I thought the pharmacy shit in New York and America in general was meant to be fantastic. But also you know when you go because sometimes when you go to the airport they have this stuff called NyQuil which is like not a painkiller but it helps you to get to sleep on an airplane and I bought some and then I was sitting on

The airplane and I just was like looking at the bottle which I usually don't and it's basically pure alcohol Oh, I was like, I can't drink this. I can't take this. This is booze. So they knock you out It's basically a shot of whiskey. It's basically a shot of whiskey colored purple I mean, sorry, I might be you know know, but it definitely has like a alcohol content. And I was like, oh, wish I hadn't seen that because then it wouldn't count as a relapse. Knocked me a nightcloth back. Yeah. But now I know that it's got alcohol in it.

I can't have it. Boring. So how's it going over in your side? Because it, boring. So how's it going over in your side because it is Halloween. You've obviously dolled the house up and you showed me on FaceTime the house all done up yesterday or day before. And I realized that this is a year anniversary

of our pilot because in the pilot. Yeah, because we were talking about it last time, weren't we? Yeah, we didn't even have a name. There was no meaty drop or miss me. Yes, once again, I have decorated the front of my house, although we are short on extension cables, so the lights are not in action yet. I've still got six ghosts, light up ghosts

to put out on the front yard. Are they the same ones? You're using the same ones from last year? No, I bought new ones this year. I've still used the same as last stuff, but I try and build, you know? It's a little bit like Christmas decorations for the tree. Like I buy like probably three or four in the year

to add to the tree. This is exactly what I wanted as a child. Like a mum who like really gave a shit about all kinds of festivities. Like I can't believe you're putting so much into this. It's beautiful well our display Halloween display was ransacked yesterday because I put a Donald Trump mask on one of the skeletons and I guess someone thought that I was trying to like degrade the presidential candidate for the 2024 election, one of the candidates.

And I, of course I wasn't, my Kamala Harris mask just hasn't shown up yet. So someone came and took the mask last night. So yeah, I'm upset. Are you sure that they didn't just like take anything from your Halloween setup? They weren't particularly trying to say anything about the fact that it was a Trump mask. Maybe they were just ransacking in general. Maybe. You think it was political? I think it was political.

Yeah, of course you do. I'm happy that we're talking about... I mean, it was the face of the presidential candidate for 2024. Yes, eight days away from the election. So I think it might have been political. I'm hazarding a guess. I forgot it's getting that close. It must be getting kind of fiery, bubbly, spicy.

Well it was pretty crazy here a couple of days ago because it was Mar-Gur-Son Square Garden. Trump had a convention or rally, rally sorry at Madison Square Garden and it was like it was crazy in Manhattan there were just like people with Marga hats on yeah it was an interesting vibe and people downtown I guess you know liberals were saying don't go don't go up midtown it's full of Trumpies yeah and I was like don't know what you're talking about it's fine i'm i love everyone i'll be fine in midtown midtown sort of like

switzerland in this no no it was very republican that afternoon oh right not okay i am switzerland because i'm a bbc pundit but um, the kids in downtown that I was hanging out with were probably what you would call liberals and they were saying, stay away from Midtown because it's quite Trumpy. And I was like, don't worry about it. I'm easy. I'm easy, I'm on either side here.

I'm just, I can't even vote, bitch. Twice a week. Do you talk politics with your friends in New York. Like, is it taboo? Not really. The people that I hang out with that are Americans, yeah, a little bit, not really. It's funny though, because, you know, some people would say that I like ran away from

England to escape the British press, but it seems that pretty much all my friends here in New York are British journalists. Not even British, just actual journalists. No, British journalists, Sam Wolfson, Lynette, I've got a couple of others. You found the good ones. But they're not really, they're not really journalists. I mean, they are journalists. They're just actual journalists, not like celebrity, like hate journalists. Anyway, what are we talking about on this show? What are we talking about?

Oh yeah, I was trying to, did you not tell? I was desperately trying to get us from politics to school gates. Oh, that's quite a political place. Thank you, that's what I was thinking. I couldn't quite guess, I couldn't quite guess around the corner. But it is a political place, which is why I wanted to even talk about it. So this beautiful, wonderful lady called Shamara came around to do my hair this week.

What a lovely experience it was. And she is a single mom, and a freelance, self-employed she is a single mom, a freelance, self-employed hairdresser. She works with Mabel, I'm Nana, and she's brilliant, but she was talking about how when she first had her kid, she was like, yay, school gates and like the school run, and it was all very novel.

And then she said after about a year, she was like, this is the worst part of the job. This is my worst part of motherhood. And I thought it was just the early starts. And she said, no, it's a really political place. And you have to kind of find your grounding. I don't go to the school gates anymore because my kids take themselves to school.

So I don't have to contend with that, but I did. You've done Fox though. Yeah, Fox in London. Sorry, I'm just thinking when they were at nursery actually, we used to go to school and there was a conservative, like a Tory councillor that was, his twins were in the same class as Ethel and Marnie. And we did used to like beef about politics. Oh right, what, at the school gates? Yes, but I also knew him outside of that.

So we would often have a little tit-a-tit over dinner. You're a famous person, right? Doesn't that change going to the school gates, everyone knowing who you are? Does it make you, I would feel a little bit self-conscious, I think. Yes, maybe. Sometimes I used to say, like, you know, when the kids were young and I was still,

like, getting in, like, Twitter spats. Like, obviously, when I'm in a Twitter spat, like, I'm not thinking, oh, in seven hours, I'm going to have to be, like, outside the school gates. And maybe some people will see me, like, ranting off about something ridiculous. But I don't know, it's just, it's just, it's definitely like an interesting vibe. It's like cliquey, you know? Like there are certain like super moms that kind of stick together.

There's like, you know, sometimes, you know, your kid might be being like ostracized from a certain group and like the moms know that that's happening, but they're not behaving in the right way and dealing with it in the right way. So there's like avoidance and I don't know, sometimes the parents can be like just as juvenile as the kids and they don't wanna like have to deal

with stuff that the kids are going through, they'd rather avoid it. Yes, and because Phoebe said that she is a maverick. Right. That's her word. A maverick at the school gates. And to be fair, she's done Halston, a school called Leo's, where her school gates, Louis Theroux's kids went there.

That's quite a fun person on school gates. And then she moved to France for five years, to rural France. And that was a whole different kettle of fish at school gates because she didn't speak the language. And she made, you know, she learned French. I'm so proud of her. And so did the kids. But I think that was quite hard to navigate because Phoebe could be, she said that she is quite aloof. This is her as like at the school gates persona, aloof, cool, friendly to everyone, but hard to pin down, kind of like a lone wolf pied piper kind of character. And she said it's actually who she was in the school playground. And how actually who she was, you know, when she was like friends with Charlie Robinson and

Jesse but then all the Roo boys as well. Phoebe's very much a Warholian creature that brings people together. Yeah. Oh, you're calling her all these things. But I thought, that's interesting. I wonder if it brings you back to the child in you having to be at the school gates. Yeah, I'd say I'm definitely like an in and out kind of person. I'm like not getting sucked into anything, no drama.

You know, also I feel like the longer you linger there, like the more likely it is you're going to get like invited to something that you inevitably don't wanna go to. So I'm just like, hi, hi, bye, sorry, very busy on the phone. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Okay, that's your school gate's energy, very busy on the phone in and out. Yeah, but I'm not there anymore,

so I just have to make that qualification. I don't do the school run. The girls take themselves to school. Yeah. So it can be a political place. Hang on one second. I'm just, how are you gonna get from this subject to the next one?

I actually don't know, but I think I might just have to go anyway. No, let me have a look at what it is. And then I will. No, because I wanna talk about this magic that I created and the fact that I am God. I am God. God? No. I'm not joking really. That is not the jump.

I'm not joking. That is not the jump. It is. That's what we're looking for. I am God. Anyway, I just want to talk about the fact, the magic that I am God. What? No. Listen, I made some extremely magical things happen last week. I went to film that pilot that had come about an idea that I was actually interested in and not interested in many things that come my way. I have to say TV ideas. They're a bit boring and I don't know. I don't feel that excited by telly at the moment. And this was like, it was like

art, history, music, and the English countryside. And they gave me the deck and it was pictures of the detectorists. Anyway, it's about celebrating the English countryside and bringing together historical places to collaborate with musicians. And I thought that meant a band or a musician plays in this historical space,

but no, they collaborate with the space and with the building using this weird technology that i also thought was going to be a bit weird but it was absolutely beautiful. it's the guys that made the blur documentary that and because i was talking about the blue this is the magic people because i was talking about how much i liked the blur documentary on here and they listened to miss me and then said, oh, and you keep banging on about history and we're doing this show and we think you'd be great for it. So it all came together. And then I got to stand on a hill in Oxfordshire in a rural Roman villa, ancient, sorry, Roman villa and be Kevin MacLeod for the day, which is really a dream that I've been focusing on from the outside,

I didn't realize. I've been watching a lot of grand designs. What I mean is when things come into your life, you're usually preparing for them without knowing. I think I watched Detectorists every night last year, and I've been watching a lot of grand designs, and I just put all these things I love together, and I was just standing in them,

standing surrounded by them. Putting things out into the ether, manifesting. Fucking manifestation. Yeah, I mean, it's surrender, isn't it? standing in them, standing surrounded by them. Putting things out into the ether, manifesting. Fucking manifestation. Yeah, I mean, it's surrender, isn't it? You're just telling the truth. You're telling the world on here what it is that you like and people, generally people wanna work with people

that have got, you know, a passion, a genuine passion for things. It always reads better. So yeah, good luck to you and your endeavors you're so sweet what is this we've been pitched a miss me TV show scripted drama shut the fuck up okay sorry a message has come through that's why we're a bit confused Lily do you want to explain our producer Dino's just put something in the chat

which has popped up on the screen saying that we've been pitched to do a dramatization of Miss Me. Okay, so who's playing me? I don't get it. Wait, acting version of two people, two friends catching up. I think that's too meta. I would probably say it's gonna it's gonna be like a little bit like our lives as well outside of that So it'll be okay. I'll be okay. I want Tandy Newton And I want Christina Ricci I think when we were little I thought Lily was Christina Ricci. I really did think you were Christina Ricci especially mermaids I was like, it's Lily. You're so weirdly, it's so alike. You're so lucky you have someone that, do you think Tandy Newton's right for me? I love Tandewa. Oh, I like Tandewa Newton.

I used to see them quite a lot up at the Queen's Park Farmers Market on the weekend. They're a lovely, lovely family actually. Oh yeah, and're lovely children and they are so West London. Yes I think she could play you for sure. Hmm. Or what about Kushtumbo? No I think maybe more like... Anyway so this isn't my answer is I don't think it's a good idea. It should be a scripted drama for Miss Me. I think people see enough of us right now I don't think we need now a scripted drama for Miss Me. I think people see enough of us right now. I don't think we need now a scripted drama version of us. Babes, you need to be more open. I guess we'd have to be consultants, although I know they, oh my God, I was gonna say, we'd have to be consultants on all our old stories

from the past, but no, all they gotta do is bloody listen to Miss Me now. They've got it all. We gave them our IP, to be honest. I don't know whether we own the IP of our life. We do. We do. We do. Oh good. Oh good. So one of the stories that may come up, I mean, I doubt it, but you know that thing where like you don't remember something and it's like this memory for someone else and you're like okay there was this cameraman on the show on the pilot I did can I say big up to up the game productions Josh and Toby god

they were such great guys and they filmed this pilot with the most beautiful cameras and intention and I love them thank you for asking me to do that with you guys but there was this cameraman who was like kind of attractive and then I spent the whole day with him talking filming with him and then on the train back he goes we've actually met before I was like kind of attractive. And then I spent the whole day with him, talking, filming with him. And then on the train back, he goes, we've actually met before. I was like, here we fucking go.

And he was like, I was a sound man first, and I was doing a full music and Lily was on and Lily on her mic went, Charlie, do you wanna come and have dinner with us tonight or something? And then me and you went and picked him up and took him out. So I said, where did we go? No, but he's like, yeah.

I was like, OK, I get what period of time this was. Wow, I have no recollection of this. We would have been about 23. Did either of us sleep with him? No, but I think you were like on him and like come on Charlie and he had this whirlwind of a night. We then took him to Groucho's site and then Robert Pattinson from Twilight turned up. I was like, yeah, this is us about 23 and on one.

It was probably like a Tuesday. And then you ditched him and fucked off and he said, do you think she's coming back for me? And I was like, no, you should probably go. Oh, God, I'm such a bitch. I'm so sorry. No, no, you weren't a bit, but that's the thing. He was like, I had the time of my life. I had such a great night out with you lot. So you're welcome. Welcome. Can we come to the Christmas lunch? No. But I think it's, you know, maybe stories like that might be in our scripted drama.

No, because it's not going to go back in time. It will be like, well, maybe it would. Maybe there'd be flashbacks. There'd be younger version of us. Oh, that's some casting I'd like to be part of. Who would I get to play me young and all like? I'd have the girl from Beetlejuice play the young me. What, Winona Ryder? No, the young, the new one. Jenna thingyboff.

Jenna Ortega, yeah. Christina Ricci is the older me and Jenna Ortega is the younger me. But Christina Ricci was Wednesday in the Addams Family, so we're all getting... Okay, I'll have a think about who should play the younger me. Let's have a little break and I'll have an answer. We'll see you after the break. See you after the break. I had quite a weird morning today because last night, Ellie that I work with had told me that sort of by accident,

she had ended up watching that show that's on Netflix, The Woman of the Hour. Oh yeah, I watched it last night weirdly. Did you? Yeah. Were you on your own? I was and then Ethel came in just at the point where the guy, you know, not the female protagonist, the Anna Kendrick character, but the serial killer,

whacks one of the girls over the head and pushes her off a cliff, I think it is, and Ethel's quite shocked, so I turned it off. And stopped it until she'd gone away, and then I finished it off. It was terrifying. Right, terrifying and finished it off. Interesting. Ellie was like, this looks nice.

She said there's no trigger warnings before it. Nothing that says this is dark. This is the advert. It's really about something else, like a young girl searching for her dream. Sorry, we must say that this is about a story on Netflix about a young girl that sort of unwittingly marries a serial killer, right?

No. Oh, then I don't even know what it's about. Women of the Hour is the directorial debut of Anna Kendrick, who is an actress and now director. Oh, I didn't know she's directing it. Yes, and it is about a woman, a aspiring actress in Hollywood who's not having much luck in the casting game, and her agents ask her to go on a game show, which is like our version of Blind Date.

And one of the contestants on the show is a serial killer. And so it's about their interaction, which becomes very aggressive and scary. But it's also lots of flashbacks to other women that he has murdered and one that gets away, which is quite fascinating how she does it considering she's so young. She does this sort of reverse psychology thing on him and it's like mind blowing. But yeah, it's absolutely terrifying. Terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. So Ellie watched it with her boyfriend,

fiance, Kieran. They live opposite me. And she was like, upset and angry after watching it. And he was like, what's wrong? And? She was like because I can't sleep now and I don't want to leave the house and he was like oh shit of course I understand but he really enjoyed it so did Simon Phoebe's partner really enjoyed it. I don't think that we're you saying I'm finishing this so I finished it all off you can't I can't enjoy that but I can't watching. And it must be our way of trying to control the horror of it. What, the threat of sexual violence and, or just violence generally? No, I'd say sexual violence that I see depicted

in so many TV shows, so many TV shows. Do you think that's a problem? Do you think we see it too much? It's weird because me and Jessie are writing this crime drama and it's the first crime we went to write. And I thought, am I trying to control it now by writing it, my fear of it? Well, I think it's important that it's represented because it is incredibly prevalent.

Yes, and this is the thing, yes, of course, it's incredibly prevalent, but how healthy is it to see these depictions of the detail of the horror of these experiences over and over again? How does that help us? We know that rape is every two minutes in America. Like, we know shit like that. I don't know how helpful it is for us to be reminded,

to be scared. Anyway, listen, and then so Ellie watches that, and today she said she was nervous in our park in the morning Which is full of people running and everything people rowing on the river and then this guy a boy on a bike balaclava shoved her and grabbed her phone and Yeah, it's only her phone, but she was all fucking shook up and turned up my house this morning in tears and it's because She was unlocked yesterday from watching that show. I think we all have this wound, right? This scary deep dark wound of fear.

Then it gets unlocked by a number of true stories, then some depictions on TV, then something a man stands too close to you in a shop and then you've got to like take this bubble down again and like calm it all down again otherwise you wouldn't be able to leave the house. I feel quite alert suddenly today. And then the police were in my building for another reason. And I was just a bit like, ah, are we safe?

When are we safe? When are we safe? When do you feel safe, Lil? In your house, do you feel safe at night? Yes, I feel safe at night. But that's cause I've got, you know, lots of light. I lock all the doors before I go to bed and I set the alarm and then, you know, if David's here, then I feel super safe.

But yeah, walking on the street, I don't really get scared. I feel like if I'm truthful, I feel like you can't control these things and you can't let the fear control you either. And I've been sexually assaulted several times and I've had some really emotionally horrific things happen to me, including the death of my son.

So I feel like I've been to the really, really dark places and survived. So, but I've touched wood, you know, nothing terrible happens to me or my kids. Um, again, but I'd feel, I don't know, I don't, I don't feel that fear all the time. Hmm. It's weird. Maybe it's been, cause I haven't been sexually assaulted. Well, yeah, there's sort of one story in my past that always comes back to haunt me and a friend of ours told me to forget it immediately after I told him. So I've always just told myself to forget it.

But I was thinking about the other day and I was like, no, that was fucked up. So yeah, I mean, this is why I wanted to talk about the Giselle Pellicott case, because we've talked about it, me and you, and I don't know whether you want to talk about the kind of shame you held after your assault, but this woman has been through the most horrific experience of the husband that she trusted for many, many years that she'd been married to who I just read a quote she said was perfect and kind and loving to her, had been drugging her by putting something in her ice cream after dinner for 10 years and had been finding different men online to come to his house and rape her while she was drugged. Not only has she realised

this and is trying to obviously come to terms with what's happened to her, she's asked for the case to be public and for the trial to be public and for, you know, to just set an opportunity for her alleged perpetrators to have to face what they did to her. And that just still doesn't happen very often. It's still a very rare thing. It's an unbelievably horrific case. I think what's so striking about it is that there were, well, there's 51 men on trial in the case.

So like, you know, one evil person, you know, drugging his wife and engaging in this kind of behavior is like disgusting enough. But the fact that he managed to recruit 51 other people in their tiny little village is like, that's what is like shocking to me. It feels unbelievable, but it's also, I mean, it's real. So it's, yeah, it's terrifying.

But that's why when I think you watch something like you did yesterday, the women of the hour, it's kind of like, we're not in Hollywood. We're not, you know, I'm not going on a dating show. I haven't met any serial killers recently, I don't think. But it doesn't matter, any depiction of kind of this, the detail of violence and what women have and continue to go through at the hands of men.

It does happen. So where do you stop being scared? I think one of the most pervasive things about it is that, you know, when it does happen to you, you know that something bad has happened. And yet it's so hard to get the validation for that experience. Because, you know, where if you go to the police, or even if you tell your friends, you know, people are always questioning you for some reason as to, you know, how real your experience was. And that is what I think is the like loneliest

and saddest thing about it, is that it's so hard to have your experiences validated. And men are always, not all men, sorry, but often men are dubious or questioning. And I think men and women, obviously not all men and women, and I'm gonna make a massive sweeping generalization because I feel like in the world, women are objectified in a way that men are not.

And a lot of men see women as vessels or objects for their pleasure. And women are told, we spoke about it on the virginity episode where, you know, that we are virtuous and that we somehow have to like hold on to this purity and that sex for us should be about love and connection. And that is not always the case. And so I think that like we're both operating from different places. And I think that most men would probably say that they've had sexual encounters with women that were not based in the interest

and comfort of the woman, right? They were rooted in their own pleasure. And so when a woman comes along and says, you know, this person took advantage of me, they're acting from a place of defense because they can't hand on heart say that every time they've had sex with somebody, it's been in the best interest of the woman.

It just isn't, it just hasn't. So they come from a place of defense. They're like, well, you know, you, maybe it wasn't as bad as you're saying it was. He was probably just like, you know, drunk and you know, what, do you know what I mean? So I think that there's like this defensiveness and this resistance to even engage in it as a conversation

because they're projecting their own experiences of sex and their relationship to how they view women sexually. Did you watch that show Anatomy of a Scandal on Netflix with Sienna and Rupert Friend and it was very good. Yeah. And at the end, when Sienna realises that he did rape her and he says, yeah, but it wasn't rape because and you realise that the whole thing has never been about sex. It's not that he was saying I didn't rape her. He didn't believe rape occurred. Do you know what I mean? Because for him, it was just the sex that he needed at that moment in time and it was rough and it didn't really matter what she was saying or anything. Anyway, it really blurred the light. I mean, it's never about sex.

I just think it's incredibly complicated and I think that the laws are archaic and I just, I don't even know how you begin to govern it because people, you know, it's just a mess. Well, I was actually quite pleased, is that the right word, to see her depiction of rape in the new Jilly Cooper Rivals TV show, because, well, I think it was probably very spot on as to things that would have occurred in that time in that world.

And I thought it was great that they put that in. I just thought Rivals was great all round. You told me to watch it. And thank God you did. I knew you'd love it. It's it's very like apart from the rape section, it's very sort of like cozy, isn't it? It's like it is. But it's smart enough to be it's not like Midsomer Murders. It's like very well written. It's wry.

I thought it would be a bit silly, but it's not silly. It's actually quite smart and looks great. And the casting is brilliant. Danny Dyer, oh my God, I think I love him. He's great, isn't he? So good, isn't he? It made me a little bit nostalgic and homesick because it's all set in and around

where I used to live, over town. Yeah. But I've managed to get past that and enjoy it for what it is. I think it's great. I really, really loved it. I watched it in a couple of days. We should talk about Jilly Cooper. Yeah, Jilly Cooper's a legend.

Isn't she? I thought she was just sort of up a cramp, bit lovely, but actually she was quite a bad man and started her career with a column in Sunday Times magazine and sort of wrote about love and life and marriage, but with real honesty. Maybe like a bit like Miss Me. Bit like me. Bit like, you know what, bit like me. No.

Lilligoofer. Lilligoofer. is our own iconic person. Oh my God, yeah, you are Lily Cooper. I am Phil in my passport, I am Lily Cooper. Oh yeah, because you want your name, your kid's name, I get it. But she was amazing, and listen, she goes from that, writes this column and then writes this book

called Rivals, which becomes part of the Rutland, is it the Rutland Chronicles, which goes on to sell 12 million copies. Like this, she changed the way we look to the middle classes and sex and truth telling. That's bloody good television. I feel like I bang on about shit all the time on TV, but that was great television. I was like, now we're talking. I really enjoyed it. Did you fancy Rupert Campbell Black? No. about shit all the time on TV, but that was great television. I was like, now we're talking. I really enjoyed it.

Did you fancy Rupert Campbell Black? No. So not your type, so not your type. Good, just checking. I kind of feel like he was miscast. Was he like a sort of archetypal or like, sorry, stereotypical like hot guy in that period of time? Would he have been hotter to us then?

I think it's what casting thinks is hot now because if you look at the 80s rivals, he was fair and sort of looked like that Jeremy actor from the 90s, blonde, sort of long nose. But they've sort of made him a bit more Mediterranean kind of, you know, guy. I don't fancy him. It's not a fancyable part really, is it? It should be. I fancy the Irish guy Declan. Oh yeah, see I've never fancied Adrian thingamabob from Pole Dark, but yesterday the episode I watched I was like, he's got so much dignity and respect for himself. Yeah, yeah he's hot.

But really I'd quite like to have sex with Danny Dyer. I have all the people in it. Danny Dyer as Fred. I said it. Okay, it's been lovely to see you darling today. Thanks for making me laugh a little bit. I was feeling a bit like... Yeah, and I will see you on Monday to talk about the internet. What thoughts have you even having? Or do you wanna save them all? I'd like to save them. Mm.

Okay, you can save them. I'll see you on Monday. That's absolutely doable. I will see you on Monday. Can't wait, listen bitch, see you then. Shhh. Thanks for listening to Miss Me with Lily Allen and Makita Oliver.

This is a Persephoneca production for BBC Sounds. If you've been affected by anything raised in this episode, go to bbc.co.uk forward slash action line. The life of a celeb can be a riot old roller coaster. So sometimes you're soaring sky high upwards. And sometimes you fall face first and flat into the tabloids. Famously. Famously.

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