Miss Me? - Listen Bitch! And That’s On Period

Episode Date: March 24, 2025

Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver answer your questions about menstruation.This episode contains very strong language, adult themes, and discussions about abortion. If you have been affected by any of the issues raised, you can find support via the BBC Action Line: https://bbc.co.uk/actionline/ Credits: Producer: Flossie Barratt Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Assistant Producer: Caillin McDaid Production Coordinator: Hannah Bennett Executive Producers: Dino Sofos and Ellie Clifford Assistant Commissioner for BBC: Lorraine Okuefuna Commissioning Editor for BBC: Dylan Haskins Miss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK. Hi, Kalki Kecklar here, actor, activist and host of the My Indian Life podcast. I'm joining Namalanta Kombo on the new series of her podcast, Dear Daughter, Stars, from the BBC World Service. We're exploring motherhood, beauty standards and the life lessons we want to pass on to our daughters. Listen to our conversation now by searching for Dear Daughter wherever you get your BBC podcast. A quick Listen Bitch update for you all. Starting tomorrow tomorrow you'll be able to watch our Listen Bitch episodes in full on Tuesdays on the BBC Sounds YouTube.

So to see us answering your questions with your eyes as well as hear us with your ears, make sure to find us on the BBC Sounds YouTube every Tuesday. BBC Sounds, music, radio, podcasts. This episode of Miss Me contains very strong language, adult themes and discussions about abortion. Hello and welcome to Listen Bitch. It's a period themed episode of Listen Bitch. Been waiting to do this for a while. We did talk about periods that miss me live and if you weren't lucky enough to get a ticket then you missed our incredibly interesting chat

about menstruation so we thought let's give it a whole episode. Let's give it a whole show. We did have quite a lot of good period stories. I was quite shocked actually. And that's on period. And that's on period. What is that? Is that how Americans say it? No, Americans say it.

No, a friend of mine called Daniel in LA, it's like his catchphrase. So anything that I say, if I'm like, you know, let's go out for dinner, he'll be like, and that's on period. What does that mean? Hmm. And that's like in the diary happening?

No, no. No. It's more like that's, and that's a fact. Oh, good. Oh, I like that. So it's like, you know, that girl's a bitch and that's on period. Like in the same way that you'd be like, I don't like girls who do that, period.

That's on period. That's on period. But the old school way would have been like period, because it means full stop in America. Yes. And I quite like saying full stop. Don't you just? Yes, lovely Americans. And what do they call menstruation? Still call menstruation in America? Menstruating?

Period, yeah. They say period. On the rag. On the rag. They definitely don't say on the rag in America. I'm on the rag. I'm on the rag. So upsetting.

Or some people say flow has come to town. Ooh, please. That is disgusting. In the 1950s. Yeah, but think about, let's go into this because think about how taboo having a period has been throughout the ages. I've done my research. Let's have our first question for today's Listen Bitch about periods and all that they bring with them. Hiya. My name is Amy and I'm from commentary. I just started menstruating basically at the age of 24. I think my body just wants to play a bit of a cool trick on me.

It's got a bit of a sense of humour, I'm not sure. But essentially I've got all these new hormones and I'm just wondering how you dealt with them when you were a teenager. I've taken up kickboxing and journaling but I truly feel like I could dismantle a house with my bare hands. Just wanted to ask how you sort of dealt with it and if you had any kind of advice for someone who's having loads of hormones and kind of teenage hormones I guess. Love the show.

Hey love you bye. Did she mean that she'd just started her period at 24? Yeah. God, fuck a duck. Where were you when you started? I was at a boarding school called Millfield in Somerset and I didn't have any pants or any Tampax or anything like that. And I was too scared to ask anyone for anything so I just shoved tissue down my pants. But were you excited?

I don't know if I was excited. I just sort of like couldn't believe it I was like it's like that thing where you know something's coming and then it happens you're like ahhhh! Yeah totally it's a very serious thing to look down for the first time. Oh my god I'm a human! I am a human! Yeah human and a woman I was like oh I am becoming a woman. I'm real. Yeah. But the side effects of menstruating,

that like I am so dissociated from myself that I never really connect the dots still. So I'll be like, you know, moody for a few days. Maybe I even have some cramps. I'll be like, oh my god, my tummy's really hurting. I think I'm ill, I think I'm getting ill. And then my period will come. I'll be like, oh, maybe that was connected.

And it's like, Lily, you're 40 now. Like, you should probably be able to figure out the three days of terrible mood, followed by a couple of days of cramps, followed by the bleeding out of your vulva. It's probably all related. Probably all related. Happens every month, yeah. This is maybe our generation though,

because now I know quite a few younger girls that I work with who have serious period abs. And I wanted to say to this lady to answer her question, I think it's a really good thing to get. I think I wanna join their lead, follow their lead, because it's about everything. It's about when you're ovulating, all these different things about how your body will feel

throughout the month, because a period, let's be honest, is about two weeks out of a month. Because you get PMS about a week before, then you're like, but my period's not for two weeks. You're a nut, you feel like everything's awful, you just can't be frustrated, angry. I hate PMS. Again, I never associate with my period,

I just think I'm nuts. Then you get cramps and then your period comes and then you have about 10 days of glory and then it's right back again for the whole PMS cycle. So wouldn't it be nice to just be able to track it? Just be able to track it and be like, okay, so you'd go, I feel nuts, but your period app would go.

I like the element of surprise, you know? I feel like I don't really need to control the knowledge around that stuff. Maybe it'd be helpful. Maybe I'll try it for a couple of months, shall I? Is that your advice? Yeah, I think our advice is, and Lil's gonna do it as well, get one of those new, new, new period apps

that tell you absolutely everything about what's going on with your body. And they'll also be like, if you had some mushrooms today would really help. You should probably have some aniseed in your tea. Like it's really bespoke and it feels like someone's really looking after you throughout the cycle of being women. How does it know that? I don't know because I'm not on it yet. You tell me when you sign up. I'll sign up to Raya and you sign up to the period app.

Let's have a good summer. What's Raya got to do with the price of fish? Because it's an app I don't want to go near. So if I sign up to that and you sign up to this, let's see how our summers change. Okay. Deal. Okay. Deal. And lovely lady that asked us the question, that's our advice.

Get one of the apps, babe. Use your phone. That's the answer. Okay. You want to ask her another question? Sorry, we're televising this for the first time and I'm yawning my way through. Sorry. I'm usually more engaged.

I'm usually more engaged. Sorry, guys. Sorry, guys. Bollocks. She does this in between every question. She's just not usually being filmed. Well, always filmed, but not all of it being put out. I hope we're doing okay.

God, this is going out on YouTube, Lily. Lily, come back. Can we have another question, please? Hi, Makita. Hi, Lily. This is Kayleigh from Portsmouth. Absolutely love the pod and love you guys. Came to see Miss Me

Live on the Thursday with my best friend Charlotte and we had a fab time. Felt like we'd made two more best friends in you guys. So my question about menstruation is what is your opinion of menstruation period education in schools? The reason I ask is because I started my period when I was nine years old. So I was in year five at school. Obviously knew nothing about it, thought I was dying and I have a real memory of only learning about periods when I was in secondary school and it must have been about year nine so what's that? I would have been 14. They separated the boys from the girls. We all sat in a room, learned about our ovaries,

what happens in period, blah, blah, blah. And obviously I already knew what was going on because I'd started my period years ago, as had a lot of other girls. And what also bothered me was that they split the boys and the girls, and I think boys should learn the same thing as girls when it comes to period. So anyway, that's my question.

Love you guys, thank you. Thank you. What was the question though? Do you think there should be better education in schools? Well, I mean, obviously, definitely. Definitely. I'll tell you why I think there should be better education in schools, because I have two teenage girls who ask me about this stuff at night, actually don't know the answer. Both of them have had their periods. Shut up! Why? I didn't know the answer. Both of them have had their periods.

Shut up! What? I didn't know that. Yeah, they both got them within two weeks of each other. Oh, I suppose that happens. Maybe I shouldn't talk about this on the podcast. Is it a bit embarrassing for them? Maybe we shouldn't, because when I started my period, my mom took me to 192 and told the whole room

and was like, champagne for everybody from Keira's time. I think you told this story three times on this podcast, but okay. Did I? Yeah. Will, have you heard it? I think I talked about that with Miss Me Live,

but either way, she told everyone because she'd read this book, which was like, celebrate your child's, you know, transition and, you know, moment. But I will be the teacher. I'll be Miss. Periods in the Middle Ages. This is for everyone that's, you know, growing daughters and everyone that is a woman. The shame around periods kicked into high gear in the Middle Ages. So we're talking the fifth between the fifth and the 14th century

due to influences from religion and a lack of understanding of biology, menstruation was pretty taboo. However many centuries later, I still whisper, I've got my period. See, a man's just come in here now, hiya, and now I'm scared to say it. So it's something about the taboo nature and the shame that obviously has to just be unlocked to a place where I don't feel we're going into Bossman to buy tampons. And I still do. I still do. Isn't that ridiculous? I don't have that embarrassment. Well, you're happy to buy tampons and be like, I'm on my period. That is me. Yeah, absolutely. In fact, I would walk into Bossman and be like, where are your tampons? That's a really good way.

Where are the green ones? Heavy. Heavy. Super. Super Plus. Hello. Oh yeah, that's what this was a big thing. Miss Me Live, me and Lily realised. I said, because I was on day two. Boss man, have you got super plus or what? I said, I'm on day two, we've got the first day of this week, like, oh my God, I have cramps and it's really heavy. And we realized, me and Lily, after 40 years of knowing each other, we didn't know what each other's tampon usage size was. Like I said, do you want some tampons? Well, mine changed.

After babies? No, mine changed when I got my coil fitted. Now I basically don't have a period and I don't really need tampons, but sometimes I might, in which case I'll have the yellows. Just very light ones. Oh, please. Excuse me. Just a little yellow.

Fuck you. So that's who you've become. Just a little yellow. Yeah, very light. I just need a tiny one for my tight little vagina and my very light flow. Mm-hmm. My little tiny vagina. Let's have another question.

Hi, Makita and Lily. I was just wondering what your most embarrassing period story is because today I went to a restaurant with my dad and I'm menstruating at the moment and I was sitting on a cream chair for about two hours and I get up and I've leaked all over the chair. It was super embarrassing, the waiters were males, quickly cleaned it up discreetly but still super embarrassing. But it's something to be ashamed of. So I was just wondering what your embarrassing, quote unquote embarrassing period stories were.

Thank you so much for the podcast, it's great. Well, I told mine on Miss Me Live, path tell it again. Yeah, I bled on, no, I was on a white sofa interviewing Kano for Pop World. Do you know what, I actually got it wrong. I thought it was Kano, it wasn't, it was the Cooke's. And I was on a white sofa interviewing them

in a white denim skirt, mini skirt. Stood up, everything's fine, la la la. And then went and sat on Kevin, my makeup artist, white jeans, and then stood up. And he was like, Keats, there's blood all over my jeans, come to the loo, let's go. And so it was like a very close shave and the trauma of what Luke from the Cooke's could have seen. You never recovered from.

Never recovered. Just what could have happened. But wait, also, when I went to Clifton House the other day, and this is now I know because of my fibroids, but it was like terrible. Like I just like had to like have like 10 tampons a day for just a normal period, which is just not how a healthy body should be. And I got blood on the chairs at when me and Lauren were having dinner. I was just like, oh my God, I'm so humiliated.

But they were really lovely, but I couldn't go back downstairs after that happened. I literally don't have enough of a period for anything like that to happen. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. So there's a theme here. I'm happy this is visualized

because you need Lilly's facial expression. The smug face. To really get the atmosphere of this episode. It's because I have a coil though, bitch. It's not a natural thing. If I had that coil taken out, best believe I would be leaking all over the shop. Okay, good. Okay, great. Shall we have a break? Yeah, I'm not on my period, but I'll take a period of break.

Yeah, it's that time. Yeah, it's that time. I want to talk to you about an undercover mission. I need two officers to infiltrate a gang dealing drugs. I hate to break it to you, Clinton, but we ain't street. We're just doing a spot drug dealing. You got this. What? Take this shit off the bank.

This sounds dangerous. It is. There was drugs, nudity. This goes all the way to the top. God, I've always wanted to say that. I need you to bury this body. Black Hots, all episodes now streaming on Hulu. Welcome back to Miss Me. I mean, listen, bitch. There is a clear distinction. This is Listen, bitch. Last week was Miss Me. Welcome back.

One is filmed and one isn't. So that's the distinction. Let's have another question then. Hello. My name is Amanda. I live in London and I'm on my period so I'm over the moon about this week's topic. I've been trying to normalise talking about periods in the workplace for some time because I want people to know who I work with that I am suffering and for them to expect less of me that day. Still find it quite hard to do, to admit to. Joked about updating my Slack status to like a red blob when I'm on my period. Yeah, my question is, do you tell people professionally when you're on your period?

Do you feel okay doing it? Does it help? I just quite like to normalise it. Anyway, thank you. Bye. I think you should. I mean, I don't notice Simone enough for it to be an issue, but I think obviously a lot of people do. And like what you were saying at the top of the show about essentially women having like 10 good days a month where they're not having to deal with this issue. Imagine if that was men. Like, they can't even handle a cold. They cannot handle like a sniffle. We'd have a two week working week. They can't handle like a pollen in the air giving them a couple of sneezes. Imagine if

they like literally, you know, two thirds of their life was like informed by cramps and blood coming out of their fucking penises. No. They would be like, we're off work, find some women to do our work for us that we still get paid for. And that would be how it ran. That would be how society would be. We're going to stay in bed for these two weeks because we're grumpy and then we're bleeding. Do you think that Dino would give us the day off if we had like unbearable period cramps, which can debilitate you?

I don't think they're allowed. Yeah, I think he would, yeah. Oh, thanks, Dee. Yes, yes, I would. Okay, noted, I'll remember that. But probably like not every month. No, I think that would, see, I wouldn't ask for that though. You'd be like, didn't this happen last month? And you'd be like, yeah, it not every month. No, I think that would see I wouldn't ask for that though.

You'd be like, didn't this happen last month? And you'd be like, yeah, it happens every month. And he'd be like, well, when I can't really help you. This again? Yeah. This again? Maybe you should go to the doctors and get some painkillers. Maybe I should.

Maybe I fucking should. Okay. All right, Deena actually didn't say any of this. So that's maybe you stop attacking him in a fake conversation. And then I said, fuck you, Dina, I can't do this anymore. No, I think I've asked for the day off work in the past. I think maybe once, actually you were there. It was when, do you remember when we did Royal Albert

Hall? It was like called Fashion Rocks. Fashion Rocks. And you were singing with Chanel. It was like all these pop stars would come and sing with a brand. It was a very, very early Met Ball energy. And then T4 would like cover it. So sometimes we'd meet and we'd see each other at things like that, which is always nice. But I'd had an abortion the day before. A smush smush man. A smush smush man. It did happen. I had a smushmushman. I don't know why we're laughing. I don't know why we're laughing either. It was really quite serious. I was 24 and I didn't say, I know, why don't I call in and say, I've had an abortion and I can't move from pain. I thought, no,

you can't do this. Fashion rocks. It's absolutely, who's going to host the T4 coverage of Fashion Rocks? And I could have just told them and maybe they would have... I mean, if you can't go into the Bossman's shop and ask for a tampax, I can see why you wouldn't want to go into T4 and say, can I have a day off? I had an abortion yesterday, quite frankly. But... I should have though. You should have. I would have. Yeah, quite frankly, but... I should have though. You'd have been off.

I would have. Yeah, I know you would have. I would have been like, I'm not coming in. I had an abortion yesterday. Yeah, you would. Thank you. You would. But that's some next level type of cramps, believe you me.

Walking around the Royal Albert Hall having to be like, and here's Lily Allen with Chanel. It was a very weird day. Having just had a DNC. No, I was really quite heavily pregnant and it was with Beep and I was just so embarrassed. I was just so scared that he wouldn't want to go out with me anymore. So I kept it to myself until now. No, he doesn't know. He does not. I remember going to Yo-Yo after I had my coil fitted, and I was like bleeding like a maniac. And I remember Jade, you remember Jade?

She came into the toilet with me for another reason. And I was like, babe, look at what's happening. She was like, you need to go to the hospital. Like that is an unholy amount of blood. It was pretty crazy. So what, your coil wasn't right for your body? No, I don't know what it had done. It just sort of like opened the floodgates, like literally.

I used to have a coil, I miss it. It's like, oh. Or maybe it was when I'd had a coil taken out. I can't remember if it was put in or taken out. But I mean, coils can, well, you know what? Again, I would quite like to do contraception. Can we have another question? Let's stop wasting other listen bitch themes on this wonderful theme of periods.

That's our period. Hi, my name is Lottie. I'm from Sheffield, but I'm currently writing for uni. Love talking about periods. I had a few different things on my mind, but I thought I must go with this one because of you know good old experience but period sex. See I don't think it's that deep but that's maybe because I've bled so much. I think maybe maybe men like are maybe more I don't know squeamish to it because it's not every year or are they just dickheads. I had a one night stand where he was absolutely fine with it in the evening not so fine with it in the morning when there was blood everywhere. Yeah and I found out that he didn't text me back because of that and I was just like hmm.

So yeah my question is A. Just thoughts on period sex in general and B. Have have you got any, like, what's your worst story? Or what's a story, have you got a story where it went wrong? Have you got a story where it went well? Went well? Bleeding in the bed? No, I don't have one of those. Oh yes, of course, you mean- Some people fucking love it.

No, I don't know whether they love it, they're just, my judges are awful or then kind about it. Some people love it. What, like, into it? Like, yeah, bleed in my bed. Yes, they want to go down on you when you're on your period. Deep, no. Yeah.

Oh, I haven't experienced that. It's a thing. But personally, I don't really care, but there are definitely some guys that like it and some guys that don't like it. But I think that if you're in the throes of passion, like in the early stages of a relationship from my experience most guys will be happy to look past it because you're you know in a certain period yes yeah you know when

you get past that you know honeymoon phase it's like I'm on the rack and I just don't really want to clean the sheets straight after we've had sex, honestly. And if you want to go and get a towel, lay it on the bed, then we can do that. But it seems like the moment's gone to you. Sexy shit. Oh God, I've heard boys be so mean to me about it. How can they be mean to you about it? It's literally like how humankind works. Like, it's ridiculous.

There was one that was, he's so nice. Do you remember the **** that went out with Small Nat from Squat Parties? No, but that is a dumb name and if **** has got anything to say about periods, he needs to check himself. No, he was really nice. I just, I was so ****ing annoyed because I went to his house in, I don't know where I was, but it was somewhere absolutely lovely. I think it was like Clapham, the posh bit. And went to like hang out with him at his house. And I like wasn't on my period, no chance of it coming

and woke up and just blood all over the sheets. I was like, what the fuck? And he was downstairs and I was like, he must have woken up and seen it. So I grabbed all the sheets off and just shoved them in like a laundry basket in this like really posh house. And then he walked me to the station and I was like, I'm never going to see him again because he's going to go back and know that I did that. And then I hit the sheets. I did see him again. It was fine. But I was just the

paranoia and anxiety was hell. Isn't it funny how we're meant to feel ashamed of that? Like that's where your brain went rather than like he would be like, oh, she's got a period. Because it's a mess. It's like the mess of yourself, I feel like. You know, I hate being messy. Because I'm so messy and I'm so fucking clean. And I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm,

I know what I've been. It's true though. I shouldn't, there isn't like this messy, clean need to be like, I'm just a human being. You're just a human being, babes. And we bleed. Not for long. Not for fucking long.

What do you mean? Oh fuck yeah! Not for fucking long! We are coming out of this period of bleeding out of our vaginas. Together, right? Together we're gonna hold hands through the perimenopause, which neither of us have been diagnosed with yet, can we say?

But yeah, it's real and it's happening, it's fine. I gotta hunt, I gotta hunt. Okay, crazy. Can you ask for the next question please? I don't know what's wrong with me today. Sorry everyone, sorry. No, you're beautiful, I think we're just both a bit nuts today.

It's a moon thing. It is very much so though. Come on, ask the next question. Can I have another question about periods, please? And that's on period. Hi, Makita and Lily. This is Sarah. I'm from Hertfordshire, England. I love the pod and I love you guys. So thanks for everything you're doing. I wondered if given that it's March and it's Endometriosis Awareness Month, it's also ovarian cancer awareness month and the two are quite interlinked. And I know McGee has suffered with fibroids and I myself suffer with endometriosis. I just wondered if we could talk about how you guys feel about the

healthcare gap. If you believe that there is one, how you may have dealt with being taken seriously at the doctors for menstruation issues or conditions or diseases. There's averages of 10 years diagnosed waiting time. Lots of women die early of heart disease and all of these, I just feel like our conditions and our health just doesn't get taken as seriously as it should. And there's also just not enough research on it. So I just wondered from your experiences if you've ever suffered with any of that and how you dealt with it, how you got someone to take you seriously or if you didn't, what you did to advocate for yourself. Thanks so much. Yes, twice actually. Once when I had my stillborn son

and then I contracted septicemia in the days after when I went home and my mom knew what had happened. She was like, they didn't fully deliver her placenta and it's poisoning her from the inside out and they were like, that's a bit of a stretch. Let's just see. You know, let's just see. And then like five days later, after pumping me full of like a million different antibiotics that didn't work, they finally took me down to go and have a scan ultrasound. They were like, oh, yes, it is the placenta. And it's actually could be stuck to her womb lining in which case we'll have to give her a hysterectomy when we take it out. And the longer it had been there, the more likely it is to stick to it.

So yeah, that was super annoying. And this is just after you'd lost George, like directly after that, this started happening in your body. Yeah. But you know, they did eventually take it out. Did you feel like they looked after you after that? Yeah started happening in your body. Yeah. Fucking hell. But, you know, they did eventually take it out. Did you feel like they looked after you after that? Yeah, they did. But the other thing that happened to me

was that I completely, after I had my stalker incident of 2015, I think it was, 2016, my periods completely stopped and I had, still had like some like really bad cramps and sort of issues in my tummy and I went to go and see doctors about it and they're like don't know what's going on with you we can't see anything and then eventually I went to go and see a gynecologist about something different and I told her that my periods had stopped and she said has anything funny happened to you in the last few months and I said yeah I had a stalker who broke into my house and tried to kill me and she was

like yeah well that totally makes sense. Like when your body feels like it is in fear it will stop its ability to you know to procreate like to give birth because it doesn't feel like it's a safe environment for you to bring a child into the world. Oh my god. And so yeah, it can completely stop and your cycles can completely change. Trauma related. Yeah, it's funny how our bodies sort of get so manipulated by our minds trauma. It's so connected, it's so unbelievably connected.

So maybe we can just talk ourselves out of menopause. Maybe. My nan doesn't believe in it. unbelievably connected. So maybe we can just talk ourselves out of menopause. Hmm, maybe. My nan doesn't believe in it. How's that working out for her? She didn't really go through it. She's like, don't believe in that. It doesn't exist. So, can tell ourselves anything. Couple more questions? Couple more questions? Well, did you want to answer that question, Gates? You didn't answer that question. Oh, yeah.

I was very lucky. My situation with fibroids started with the NHS and I felt really looked after. And the minute I was given an ultrasound and they'd seen that there were all these fibroids, it was all very quick and really connected and people really talking to each other. And then I went private to get the actual operation done

as soon as I possibly could, which I'm very lucky to do because of my family having Bupa now. But I think if I was going through the NHS on the whole road to operation, actually, I know this because I have friends waiting now, it's years to get five boys out because they're not life threatening per se. But I do also feel like the NHS is drowning and struggling

and they're doing their best. So I was very lucky. I was very lucky. I was looked after very well by this country's medical health system. But of course, I heard some stories from the nurses actually, which I won't go into as their story to tell. But yes, I'm sure there's a lot to fix in that world.

All right, let's have another question then, please. Another one. Hi, Lillian McKee. It's Bella. I'm at the gym in Bristol right now, and I'm wearing period pants, which are just for me absolutely life-saving because like loads and loads of people get heavy unexpected flow at the most random of times and a tampon can't always handle it. But these weren't around when I was younger and the decent ones are pretty expensive. So my question to you is, how do we make all-period care more accessible and cheaper, but also the good stuff that actually makes your life easier and means that you can play sports

and go on hikes and whatever else it is you want to do, even if you've got an unreliable flow. Thanks. Bye. Don't worry. I'm working on that right now with my company. Yes, I think it's very important, particularly with skipping. A lot of women are worried about leaking when they skip, whether that be blood or urine. And I want people to feel safe and protected. So I'm looking into that for you now. I don't really know what's on the market at the moment. I haven't really started that research,

but I think it can really hinder your enjoyment of sport and exercise periods. And also, if you look into what tampons are made of and what the fears of what they could do to women's bodies are, I cannot believe we still put these things in our body. We've both got moon cups and they're just mocking us at this point. I would like to hear the final question. Hi Lillian Makita. My name's Gillian. I'm 42 and I live near Liverpool. I've got a 12-year-old who has just started her journey

in menstruation. And while trying to give her advice, I've realized that most of, if not all, my thoughts about menstruation are quite negative. So I was wondering if you two could come up with some positive advice, positive thoughts on it, apart from the fact that being able to menstruate means that you're likely now to be fertile and able to breed. So anything other than that, thank you. No, I haven't got another one. That was what I was going to say because it means you're cleared out. You could potentially get a day off school

if you've cramped bad enough. Well, I wonder. I hope that does what that lady was saying, like there's no education about periods in school. I hope you could say. They do do that. They go to the nurse's office and they get a hot water bottle and they can lie down for a couple of hours. Oh, that's great. Not in my day, not in my day.

Not in my day and also not in my job today. I haven't been offered a hot water bottle. One of my daughters asked me the other day if we had any pads. And in my office downstairs, in the green room in New York, there's a whole cupboard full of notebooks. And I was like, yeah, there's a whole cupboard full of pads. Just go and help yourself, do anyone.

And she came upstairs, she was like, Mom, not those pads. Oh, what? I was like, oh. I know what incredibly well-organized stationery cupboard you're talking about, which I loved. Anyway, I nipped off up to right aid and I went and got her a selection of pads. Okay, that's good mothering.

Why do I feel embarrassed about pads rather than tampons? I don't know why. Because they're like nappies? Yeah, because they're a bit like nappies. You don't feel sexy if you have a pad in your knickers. No, it's like if somebody's like, you know, you're snogging someone and they put their hands down your pants and they can't find a pad, that's not the one, is it? It's over.

The moment's definitely left us. Shouldn't be, it shouldn't be, but it is. Yeah, tampons, tampons, just you feel just a bit more like together. Wait, I had a point, what was it? Oh yeah, this is a reason to feel good about period, because you're alive. Like there's something about bleeding.

As you said, Lilly, you were like, I'm a human being when you first got your period. It's not just I'm a woman. It's just something that, when something very raw happens to you, it does remind you that you're alive. Your body works. Yeah, your body is working.

And like, as I said, when I came out of surgery, I started thinking about the biology of my body so much more. And it's a really good way to take your self away, as I said, from anxiety, because you're like, let me just think about the fact that my heart's beating, my womb is shedding, and the blood is pumping around my body. The reason you should be happy about your period is because it reminds you that you're alive. Before I took the girls to summer camp last summer, neither of them had started to menstruate,

but obviously they were going off for four weeks and there was a chance that they could. So we were staying in a hotel the night before I dropped them off. And I suddenly thought I better just run them through this thing if it happens when they're away. So I had to take them into the toilet and show them how to put a sanitary towel on them. They were both like so horrified, so embarrassed. They're like, stop, stop. And I'm like, no, you have to look. You have to know. Otherwise you're going to be confused. And they're like, fine, fine. But did Alison show you? No.

I think my mom did show me. I remember what my mom went to for a wee in front of me once and she had a string and I was like, what the fuck is that? What is that? Such an innocent little string. It's like, it poses millions of questions. What is that? It's such an innocent little string, but it poses millions of questions. What is that?

Are you an alien? I still remember, we were in the powers of Terris Lou and I was like, I need to have a little talk. Imagine you pull the string and your mom starts running around like a toy, like one of those toys where you pull the string. But it is an alien thing to see. It was like, I don't know what this is, I guess I was like seven. But then she did, I think she did teach me how to use a tampon.

There's a whole episode in it of, in Just Like That, the Sex and the City spinoff, where Charlotte's like teaching her daughter that it's not up, it's back. By the way, I put one in the other day and it didn't have a tampon in it. So like I took the app, I took the, it was like a... The applicator. The applicator and it was like blue and fancy and plastic, which I hadn't seen before. Michael was one of my cousins.

Yeah. And I put it in and then took the applicator out and there was no string. And I was like, is it in there? But there was a tampon inside you. No! I had to really dig around. I was like, is it in there? But there was a tampon inside you. No, I had to really dig around. I was like, have I lost it up there? I was like, literally my whole fucking hand, like right up inside me looking around

for this fucking thing. Nowhere to be seen. So it must have just been an empty tampon, like a faulty tampon. Yeah, it must have been, but that's dangerous because- You get toxic shock syndrome. Toxic shock syndrome, it can kill you to have a tampon in your body that's not meant to be there.

I know, and I've already nearly died of septicemia, so I was really like, that's why I was digging around so hard, I was like, fucking hell. I will not go this way, not this way, come on. I've dodged too many bullets to die today like this. We've done enough here. I think we've done good work here today. I think we're done here. And that's on period.

And that's on period. You know what? We're done. Period. We're done and that's on period. We would also like to say that we're going to take a little break. Both Lil and I have had a lot going on in our lives recently. And we had Miss Me Live and it's all just been quite a lot. So we're going to take a little break and we will see very, very soon. Love you. I love you too. I'll really think about moving into that flat underneath your house.

Good. Why not? Let's be roomies. We did say we were going to start the commune. This is the beginning. The West London takeover. Bye bye Lily Allen. Bye. I'm not the takeover. Bye bye Lily Allen.

Bye! Thanks for listening to Miss Me with Lily Allen and Makita Oliver. This is a Persephoneca production for BBC Sounds. If you've been affected by anything raised in this episode, go to bbc.co.uk forward slash action line. Sean Diddy Combs has occupied a top spot in the music industry for decades. He earned his stripes during the golden age of hip hop and he's been called rap royalty. Now Diddy sat in jail awaiting trial. He denies all the allegations.

I'm Anushka Matandodawati and from BBC Sounds, this is Diddy on Trial. Every week I'll be examining the latest allegations, interrogating the rumours and answering your questions. Listen on BBC Sounds. I want to talk to you about an undercover mission. I need two officers to infiltrate a gang dealing drugs. Hate to break it to you Clinton, but we ain't street. We're just doing a spot drug dealing.

Oh. You got this. What? Take this shit off the bank. This sounds dangerous. It is. There was drugs, nudity. This goes all the way to the top.

God, I've always wanted to say that. I need you to bury this body. Ah! Black Ops, all episodes now streaming on Hulu.