Miss Me? - Listen Bitch! Honeymoon, Power Struggle, Love

Episode Date: February 23, 2026

Miquita Oliver and Jordan Stephens answer your questions about love.Next week, we want to hear your questions about Astronomy. Please send us a voice note on WhatsApp: [phone]. Or, if you like, send us an email: [e-mail] episode contains very strong language and adult themes. Credits: Producer: Jonathan O’Sullivan Technical Producer: Oliver Geraghty Assistant Producer: Caillin McDaid Production Coordinator: Rose Wilcox Executive Producer: Dino Sofos Commissioning Producer for BBC: Jake Williams Commissioners: Dylan Haskins & Lorraine Okuefuna Miss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK. If there was a big rent button that would just demolish the internet, I would smash that button with my forehead. From the BBC, this is the interface, the show that explores how tech is rewiring your week and your world. This isn't about quarterly earnings or about tech reviews. It's about what technology is actually doing to your work, your politics, your everyday life. and all the bizarre ways people are using the internet. Listen on BBC.com or wherever you get your podcasts. This episode of Miss Me contains very strong language, adult themes,

and yet another discussion about all the beauty and the wonder of love. I'm not confused. Okay. That's a good way to start love. Sick and tired of chasing nothing. Jumping love. Now you can turn that beautiful Elmien piece of music. Sorry, welcome to listen bitch.

It's the love episode. I was going to try and do it a bit like Barry White. Like, hey, hey sisters. You know, you just hit bass and Barry White's voice. I want this episode to feel like that. Okay. How low can you go? Me?

Yeah, like voice-wise. Hello. Welcome. Jordan, do your sexy voice, please. Welcome to miss me. On this episode, we'll be talking about low. I can't maintain the low voice for a long. My dad's got a really low voice.

We wouldn't need you to maintain it. That was just a nice, that was a good scene setter. And now just imagine some sort of like bass, a bit of saxophone. It's kind of like 80s, love, this episode. No, I don't like 80s. There's some 80s music, obviously. that just, I think, transcends it, i.e. Prince, Ned O'Connor, that kind of vibe. But largely

speaking, power ballads freak me out. And there's way too much reverb on the snares. There's just too much reverb. And then even like the Baker Street, Keller's Whisper, saxophone solos, I love George Michael forever. I had to leave buildings if they played Keller's whisper. But obviously, I had to go through immense exposure therapy with the passing of the great George Michael, who kind of just, let's have a moment. If we're going to talk about love, let's have a a moment about George Michael because come on. One of the things I love about George Michael is the fact that

instead of his death coming with the sudden outing of horrendous stories it was the outing of stories of his service to other people. Charity work, money, support actually asked them to not say anything. That's really cool.

George Michael was a very loving, beautiful human being. Yeah. Sorry to start love on this, but let me just tell this. quickly, George Michael has never been in love, isn't out, and falls madly in love with this guy when he's playing in Brazil when he's about 28. The love of his life, Anselmo, and they fall madly in love for a year, and then Anselmo gets sick and dies.

And he has to sing at the Freddie Mercury farewell concert, because Freddie Mercury has also just died, and he knows Anzamo is dying. So that's why that performance is unbelievable. George Michael, fucking hell. What a way to start love. And listen, you know, he's probably not perfect. but I think the stories I've heard of him are pretty beautiful. So yeah, pick up to a spark.

No one's perfect. Good way to start. No one's perfect. Let's talk about love. Hi, Makita and Jordan. I'm Al and I live in Leeds. And Makita, I live in a back-to-bat terrace house. But anyway, topic of love.

So, Jordan, I've recently just finished reading a book. And I found your journey of like self-growth and learning about love really interesting. So one thing I'd love to know both of your thoughts on is whether you think that that kind of self-work can actually make love harder. Because I feel like maybe once you're more self-aware, you're less willing to accept things that you used to think was love.

Do you think that that growth narrows, or does it deepen our capacity to love? Let me know your thoughts. Love the podcast. Bye. Wow. What a question. Oh, what a legend, man. Also, thank you so much for reading my book.

That honestly, like, fills me with joy. So thank you. I guess the crossroads here is unfortunately, I sound like because it's such like a fucking touch point right now, but it is unfortunately gendered. I think for me, my journey was for me in order to feel love, I had to be, get in touch with anger.

And as a man, anger is only ever really described as rage. You know, like it's only ever seen as rage and people think anger is a bad thing in inverted commas, but my therapist rightly instructed me how to engage with healthy anger. And through that engagement, I was able to actually know how to love or allow myself to feel and engage in love because healthy anger is boundaries.

That is literally what healthy anger is. But Jordan, I think that's exactly what's just happened with Lil. And I think it's interesting, you know, if you're going to admit that yes, of course, this can be a gendered thing. We have different terminology. You have rage. With women, with our anger,

I think it can often give in the cloak of ugly or crazy. Yes. And that's why we can't get close to it. Yeah. And black women, especially oppressed on that shit. I've definitely, I watched this supermodel documentary and each episode about a different supermodel and the Naomi Campbell and I was like,

Jesus, they got her. Yeah. Because I did think Naomi Campbell was an angry, crazy bitch. They got her. It's like Serena Williams as well. There were umpires always just to complain about Serena Williams as sounds. It's fucking ridiculous.

Yes, of course, of course. But anyway, just to bring it back to love, look what Lily did with her anger. And she had to look at it and she had to sit with it and now has completely different boundaries in her life. And will, I think, to answer the lady's question, I think you might have to wait a little longer,

but you are looking for something very different when you've done that kind of work that she's talking about. But that's what I mean about the gender thing is this, like, from my perspective, I am trying to reinvent expectations and also reprogram myself, having been raised in a society that makes allowances for anti-human behaviour,

your internalised misogyny, channeling of all types of shit, as my experience as a man and a boy, well, a boy wanting to become a man, actually. So that's what I say, like, from a female perspective, and again, just for the sake of this conversation, I'm generalising, because obviously there are different nuances to all of this, but doing work that involve tapping into anger and boundaries, which I very, very unpassionately believe women should do, would, yes, result in you being like, wow, these people are dicks,

and I don't want them in my space anymore. And like, do you be honest, we're seeing that. Women's standards, what they're willing to accept, have shifted and changed. I think it's a brilliant thing. For me personally, what it's doing is breeding a different kind of courage in the idea of rescuing yourself, not being rescued by attention or outcome from experiences with men. And I've just been doing some very deep work with all that recently. It's been absolutely fantastic.

Yeah, it's weird. I don't know how to answer my question. I think she's right. I think I agree with hell, you know, that like, what for me and for some people who have been raised like me, and I don't think this is actually gender exclusive at all, there are some people who are naturally inclined to think of others before themselves, and that can in itself become a form of narcissism in an odd way, you know, like, look how nice I am, look how much I'm doing for you, you know, and so it is quite the journey to ask ourselves truly, what do

we want from love? Like, how do we wish to be treated? How do we wish to feel in the presence of a partnership? And then realize that the boring side of it is past that. It's a choice and it's a set of values. So, yeah, for me, it opened up opportunity. And I think, I believe personally part of that's because I'm a man. And from a woman's perspective, yeah, you might look at men differently for a bit. But I also do have hope. I think there's a lot of men who are wanting to do the work. It might be clumsy. It might be messy. It's definitely not anyone's responsibility to make someone do the work. So, you know? Yeah.

And this is the only planet and group of men we've got. So like we better have some trust and believe in them because we can't go anywhere else. Let's have another question then. Hi. My name is Susie from Warwick. I wanted to know if you think you can be in love with two people at the same time. So I do. Because I do.

Okay. I don't think so No not the kind of love that I'm interested in experiencing I don't think that can be shared You know what at Simon's show The Great Simon Amstall The great Simon Amstall

Went to see his show this week He's very open about this And he talks about it in the show So I can talk about it But they have a very open relationship And bring other people into their relationship And I suppose that's an understanding Of love versus sex

in my experience, friends that I know have experienced polyamorous relationships. When love has got involved, it's when things have fallen apart quite a lot. I think sharing love in that way is very difficult. What do you think? Have you been? I don't know. I don't know if I've been in love. No, but I don't, I've only really started my journey of like feeling the depth of love I feel with Jade is relatively new.

So like then it challenges other feelings I have also. And this is, you know, the part of me that obviously Jade knows. And I talk about I'm fascinated by why we would limit something like love. And also I'm fascinated by the infrastructure being to protect us from like quite egoic feeling. So like, you know, ultimately like we would struggle with multiple loves because of what jealousy, possessiveness, sharing time, you know, like those are parts of our being that one could argue could be worked on and actually be quite liberating if they weren't there. And I'm not saying that, like, you know, the things that I would feel too, because if, you know, I have my mentor would argue that's

very human to feel territorial. Yeah, well, absolutely, because when we were at the show, I was with two friends and one of them is going through a divorce after being with someone for 20 years. So she's really thinking about love and, you know, everything. And when Simon was talking about this, we started to discuss open relationships. And not one of us felt like we could be in a relationship that Simon and his partner in, where they bring other people in. There was a carousel recently on Instagram that went viral. And it was written by a novelist.

And she was basically explaining why patriarchy is anti-nature. And the way in which you've proven that is not natural is by using equivalence in nature, within other animal species to prove that men, through her lens, are a secondary sex is what she said, secondary. And then she went on to refer to men as being drawn like, compared them to bees. Hmm, to bees.

I didn't like it. I personally think we need matriarchy. I think we need a matrilineal society at the very least because obviously this isn't working and men in positions of power are incredibly destructive. So I understand why it was written and I agree that I would love a matriarchy because in the animal kingdom,

whenever there are matriarchies, there's a lot less violence and there's more equilibrium, right? That's the thing. I don't agree with arguing with hierarchy by then providing a different hierarchy being primary and secondary. And then I never, ever, ever agree with any human being being dehumanized, whether that's an immigrant being called a cockroach or a man being called a bee or a woman being called a dog or whatever it is. I don't like, you know, I think we're all equal, but you understand the connotations, right? So anyway, but fuck all that. She uses bonobos as the main point of relation. What's bonobos?

A bonobo is our closest primate kin. It's a chimpanzee, incredibly intelligent. They're the closest to us genetically of the entire animal kingdom, right? But what's so spectacular about bonobos are they are a matriarchal society. They're matriarchal or matrilineal society. So they'll deal with violent males

within the society as a community. And often the female bonobos will actually group around the male, kill the male publicly, everyone will just carry on because that males killed a child, right? That's what they do. So they're using this as an example. And then the same thing with lion prides, the lion prides are run by the lionesses, they organize, they hunt, and the men are ultimately just protect us. So if anybody tries to attack their lionesses, they're obviously bad boys, they'll just come and do the thing, but they don't really organize much. The funny thing about

this is none of these animals are monogamous. In fact, monogamy, if we were going to talk about it is the least natural part of the human experience. With bonobos, the female bonobos evolved to have sex with all the males in the pack because it confused them and stopped them killing the babies because they didn't know which one would be their predecessor. So they ended up all raising the children together. Okay. And historically, polygamous tribes would do the same. The birth of patriarchy for me is monogamy. Like it's a patriarchal concept. Fucking hell. To keep the concept of a tiny group, a single child, my child. Look at it, I'm naming this child after me.

It's all to do of lineage and hierarchical heirs. It's quite an answer to have you ever been in love with two people, but I do get it. I'm sorry. No, it's unbelievable. What we're talking about is like learning from the animal kingdom and just going forth with fortitude and power. I get monogamy.

I love, monogamy is good. Commitment is a beautiful thing and I've learned a lot about it, but it just frustrated me because obviously if I'm looking at people comparing animals and then leaving out like a huge part of the reason why there's equilibrium. And the reality is we need to have a conversation in our society about why we have perverted sex and made it so fucking dangerous. That's why I think monogamy exists because we as men have created an incredibly hostile and perverted world.

So non-monogamami for you. So Susie, the answer to your question of Can you be in love of two people is yes. That was Jordan's yes. And I have another question. Hi, this is Frida. I'm from Helsinki, Finland. So a bit over a year and a half ago, my life completely changed because I fell in love with

a British man. And we have been in a long-distance relationship since that for the whole time. We got married last summer in London so that we could apply. for the spouse visa for me to move to the UK. If everything goes to plan, I will be moving to London next summer. But now I'm really starting to realize that I'm about to leave my friends, leave my family, leave everything that's familiar to me for love. So the question I wanted to ask you is,

have either of you ever been in a long-distance relationship? and also what is the craziest thing that you've ever done for love that you're willing to share? Thank you. Bye. No, I've never been in a long... I don't think I have. No, I've never been in a long-distance relationship. I think I'd find that quite easy, though. Yeah, yeah, you're good with your alone times, but it's important that.

I'm very independent and I don't like needing people too much. I think it's unhealthy. Yeah. I think it's really important to have space in relationships, And, yeah, I'm just trying to think if I've ever done, have I really never done anything crazy for love? God, that's terrible. I think you have.

Then you remember? I think it's difficult for you because, and for me, because it could be it's difficult to call it love, isn't it? Do you know what I mean? What do you mean? Well, because she's talking about, I don't know, I'm assuming she's met someone somewhere, they've had an authentic connection

and then they've developed something over time. For a lot of us, our stories is altered states, you know, it's desperation. You know what I mean? Like craziest things. I'm like, yeah, I don't know, we're turning up in a cab at 5am with a fucking bottle of Jack Daniels and being like, do you want to shag? Like, that's pretty fucking crazy.

You mean like a sober, healthy, crazy decision? No, I don't think I've done those. But the other ones, fuck yes. You know what, this is making me realise that I probably should say that I've been thinking about this a lot. I don't think I've actually ever really been in love, which is fucking intense and really real. but also quite exciting. Yeah, it's been a bit of a mind blow for me recently. I was like, shit.

But just because I kind of think I know what love is now, and so I'm like, shit, I don't think I've ever been love before. That's why I was in it. I'm 41 years old. Like, I don't know what I've been in before, but I don't think it was love. If love is what I understand it to be, which is this kind of idea of a deep understanding,

of each other and care for each other, like a connection that's so close it feels like family and home and lust, then, no, I don't think I've had that before. No, my God. I'm also, I'm not trying to be detrimental to anyone I've had a relationship with because I've definitely felt huge things to people,

but I just think they border more on obsession and pain and toxicity rather than like, I'm in love with you and you're in love with me. Yeah, it's not like, Because I do hear stories, you know, I hear it out here, you know, and I don't get talking to random people. It's like, I was speaking to someone last night, actually. What this woman is talking about is similar to something she was describing as to why she was in Thailand. And it's just, I don't have an equivalent. I've not like, I've not chased someone across the world.

I've not like, you know, the craziest thing I've done because of love is run away. You know, I mean, like, when I was heartbroken, oh my God, I just like went to Brazil. Yeah. I think the greatest thing I've done for love is just compromise on like everything I agree with. Daily That's love That's love The greatest thing I've done for love Is literally like

Sit opposite someone who's On paper Zero in common with me And I've gone Yep Yep Let's go for that Feels like the one

So is that love too Tell me is that love too Compromise Well it's complicated It wasn't the same feeling as Jade You know But it's like I thought it was

Okay Okay Do you know what I'm saying? I think we answered that question without bearing our souls too much, but just enough. Just enough. All right, quick break, actually. I felt, you know, a love break. A love break.

A love break. If there was a big rent button that would just demolish the internet, I would smash that button with my forehead. From the BBC, this is the interface, the show that explores how tech is rewiring your week and your world. This isn't about quarterly earnings or about tech reviews. It's about what technology is actually doing to your work, your politics, your everyday life, and all the bizarre ways people are using the internet. Listen on BBC.com or wherever you get your podcasts. We were on a break!

We were on a break! Now we're back from the break. That's good. That's like love and break. Okay, but Keith's real quick. It's just super quick. Did Ross cheat or no? It's a yes or no? No.

Okay. Wow, fuck. Okay, let's have another question. Hello, both. Thought I had to jump on and send in a message for this week as I'm getting married this year. And the man I am marrying, he is the most incredible person, has taught me to feel love in the safest, most content, calm, amazing way. when we were first getting together and I was explaining it all to my friends,

one of the things I found really interesting is that I was saying how I could be really angry with him and that I'd still feel really free to do that. And, you know, some friends would be like, well, that's really weird. But I think for me, in past relationships, I'd always felt really kind of, I needed to internalize any issues, whereas with my fiancé, I can just do whatever I want, whenever I want in kind of communicating that, which I think has been really important. So has there been any things in relationships where you've been like, wow, this is really new, but really good for me, all kind of new patterns where you've been like, this is really good. And I'm glad that this is now a new way that I act in relationships.

Love you both. Thanks so much. I love you too. That's a very good question. Yeah. Not needing to feel rescued has been pretty amazing. Yep. Finding safety within that and within your understanding.

heart is like really fun and new. I'm glad that she specified the anger thing. So real. Like you can be angry with people that you're in love with. I mean, that was literally the biggest part of my therapeutic journey to be angry of people I love. Why did you have to go on a third? Right, we've talked about it with parents. But like, isn't it a bit like, duh?

Source of my addiction. In a romantic relationship. Like, duh. Of course I'm angry with you. It's not at all. I'm always angry in my past relationships. I was always angry. Yeah, but again, it's how it's expressed, you know, like this whole thing of like,

we shouldn't be arguing or da-da-da-da. Yeah, of course you should. It's human. You're going to clash. The hardest thing to do in relationships is be able to argue lovingly. That's like some fucking top-tier black belt level relationship shit where you can tell someone that they're pissing you off, but then end the argument by saying love you and then leaving the room and then having a moment.

That's like black belt relationship. That's like completed it, shit. Yeah, the new patterns, you know, I don't know, man, I just, I think I've been in a situation before where I've had a relationship that's resulted in me being quite hypervigilant because of loads of shit, because of my childhood and then like, then wherever that happens, it came back up again in another relationship and it was quite confronting for me being in a relationship where questions weren't leading. You know, I was used to somebody asking me how was last night being like,

like a set up to your punishment. Yeah. Yeah, man. And realizing that wasn't. It actually took me months of therapy to be able to realize that those questions weren't threatening. Feeling like a child in trouble in relationships, I hate is a real trigger for me.

But I think being in trouble is a big one for me. I just wanted to say that's probably what I mean by the rescuing yourself thing. I think I was so angry in all my relationships because I knew I wasn't going up the right people and was waiting for them to rescue me. He gave them the power. And gave them far too much power.

And I'm just like, whoa, dude, I don't think I'll ever do that again. Wow. It is like a new dawn. Fuck. Fuck. I am on the precipice of a fucking new dawn. Let's have another. A little question about love.

Little question about love. Final question about L-O-V-E. Okay, one more. Hello, guys. Stuart and I live in a 120-year-old semi-detached house, just a short walk from Trent Bridge Creek Ground, which I'm just walking past on Valentine's Day, so the love theme is very appropriate. I've always thought you can't have too much love, but what are your thoughts on how do you know when to tell somebody you love them and when to keep it to yourself? And by the way, Makita, you didn't give yourself hairy arms by shaving at a young age. That's a myth. Google it.

Cheers, look forward to the programme. Bye. Okay, thanks. I really like that guy. Jordan's hand, Headless in his hands, because I really, Stuart, this isn't you. Okay, this isn't personal. It's really nice to hear from you today

and I love to hearing where you live. But we're going to stop getting people to tell us that now because it kills Jordan. I'm very interested. So thank you for telling me about your house. I don't mind that area or country. Area for sure. Keep the areas up.

We just don't need whether you're in a house or a flat. Grimmie does interior design. So pitch that show. Do that with him. We get people to call in and tell you and Grimmie about how old their houses are. No, yeah, like through the keyhole. Do you know when my house in Margate was built? 1886. Wow. Do you know what it was?

A pump house. Pumped all the water around Margate. Oh, you live in a, that's like every building that I see around Hackney, that's what I want to buy it and turn into a house. All the old water pump buildings. You're not seen my house, have you? No. I've only seen pictures. Yeah, anyway. We'll do that another time. It's a joke. Houses. Let's take that on a listen, bitch.

What are we saying? Right, so yeah, so the question is... When do you tell someone you love them? Oh, God. That's such a deep question. I can try it. You tell me, Stuart. Let me just think about this.

When did you... Okay. When's a good time? I think... Not post-quitally. Wow. Facts. Because obviously you love them then.

This happened, didn't it? How recently did this happen? No, no, no, no. Keith, how recently did this happen? No, no, no, no. This happened like last week. This is crazy. So, I didn't.

No, I'm all about, like, holding that shit down. Because now that I'm so interested in what love can be, I am so curious as to what would happen if one really waited to find that out, to really find what that felt like and then say it, rather than just like, I love you, we had sex, or I love you, we're high. I mean, yeah, obviously depends. I've definitely been in situations where I feel like I love a person, like, having spoken of like 45 minutes on a night out,

and you just, you know, like, that's a different type of love. But I guess if he's talking about romantic love, this is something I feel quite passionately about, actually. The first part of most relationships, three, four months, it can go up to two years if it's long distance. We as humans are chemically high. Like this, it's so wild. Like we have such a rush of, I don't know what chemical it is, maybe oxytocin.

We're so overwhelmed by it that this is why we struggle to decipher between lust and danger anyway. But it's also why we are willing to look over red flags in potentially bad relationships, which is why one relationship book I listened to called Your Brain on Love, Changed My Life by Stan Taken. One of those pieces of advice is if you meet somebody, ask your friends what they're like. Because you are incapable. But if we weren't in that bubble, I don't. don't think anyone would jump because it is dangerous to give yourself to someone. No, I'm not talking about in like a beautiful, romantic, abstract way. I mean, like literally our brain does another difference

between almost being hit by a car and having a lustful desire towards a person of your fancy. Yeah, because the brain finds it hard to decipher between nerves and excitement or fear and excitement. In that altered state, we're obviously not going to be making the most grounded decisions on whether or not this person is worth our time, right? You're telling me you've not fucking seen this of 85 of your mates. I've probably got three mates right now. Oh, I see this with it. And the irony is a lot of them won't listen because they're high.

They're like, please, I'm falling in love. What about when you can see your friend shining and, you know, that thing that love does to us that feeds us something and it's like we've had like, I don't know, some other food. We've been fed by something new and everyone sort of looks shiny and glossy and healthy and happy. maybe that's the time we're meant to make crazy decisions like let's be boyfriend and girlfriend.

Yeah, boyfriend and girlfriend's fine. This is just my belief. Based off of like annoyingly like non-romantic, but to take them romance away from it, I'm saying yeah, you can do what you want in the moment of lust and desire. You can see what you want. But the question was, when's it okay to say that you love someone and my recommendation from my own personal experience and from what I've read is wait until you're not high. Yeah, wait until you're not high. three months, four months, five months, six months, you all know, trust me, because like 60 to 70% of all relationships end after three months. Why do you think that happens? Because when you meet the person and you think they're hot, they're either reminding you of some dark shit from your past that you've not sorted out yet or, you know, they just fit or whatever it is. And then you're high and then you're like, oh my God. And you're in this whirlwind, which is also not a good sign, heady. three months later and you're like,

who the fuck is this person? And then you start arguing about like tiny little things and then you're done. Or the other thing happens. Or you go, oh, I'm not high anymore. Can I compromise on the differences

that I've overlooked? No, wait a minute. This is real shit. Then it becomes a choice. Dead ass. I understand. No, and it's real. And it's here.

It goes honeymoon, power struggle, growth. That's what we're calling the episode. Honeymoon, power, will grow. That is love. That's how to cultivate love. You end up, you have to bargain. Got it. In modern culture now, annoyingly, they'll start going, oh my God, I got the ick.

It's like, no, you didn't get the ick, you're not high. It's the same fucking person. No, no, no, no. Because you can get the ick in like week two, which could be still high time. But anyway, this is very interesting. So can we just say the three again? is love. So the first three, I wish, there's five stages. I said this on the last show. And then I got a beautiful message from a miss me listener that said that her grandparents, which obviously makes me

for the emotional saying it, because it's just like so beautiful. You know, it was one of those situations where her grandmother passed and then her grandfather passed quite soon afterwards. And, you know, and they always say it's from a broken heart and her realizing that there was some kind of something behind that, like scientifically, firstly reminded her of the love that they had. And then, anyway, so that's the final stage, passionate friendship. Oh, nice. But the first three, yes, honeymoon, power struggle, growth. And another important part, especially with long distance, is it's not linear.

You go back. Anything could happen in life and you have to start again. Like something huge could happen in your life. You could lose a job, could lose a friend, you could lose whatever. And then you might fall back into a different part of the cycle and you have to rework again. Some people break up, get back with each other. The honeymoon thing kicks off again. And they're like, oh my God, what were we thinking?

And then boom, the crash is even harder than the first time. Well, Jordan, stop. You're scared. You'll literally ask you something scary. Just stop. Why? Why am I scaring you? There's like no romance and no butterflies in this story.

I'm like, where are all the pink clouds gone? Like, it's still love. It still feels great. All of it. All of it still feels fucking great. That's why we do it over and over again. That's why we go for it. Lust and desire are intoxicating and wonderful and really, really attractive.

No, no, no. I really mean. Oh, fuck me. I believe this. But what I'm saying is that there is also another version of love which I find equally as interesting. It can also just be quiet. It can also just be a person appearing and it's not overstimulating.

And you're not even necessarily sure if they're blowing you away. But what they do do is they help you feel calm. Or you hear beautiful stories about people who have been friends for 20 years and they've been on all these toxic relationships and then one day they're sat on a bench and they can. kiss each other and it's like, oh, great. And then they're just done. You've done that beautiful, quiet, calm groundwork.

And yeah, you might get a rush because it's a new context. But like... There's all that rooty stuff in the background, yeah. Yeah, listen, the butterflies are a very thin line, man. Right. I'm saying this from personal experience because Jade literally wrote a song on her album. She found an old diary I had. And then the diary I wrote about the first time that I met my ex in this entry,

I'm basically talking about how I was just convinced I was in love the first time I met this woman, right? Yes. When I've been with Jade, I didn't say that I felt that way about her for five months on purpose because I did not want to be high. She didn't understand why that was so important to me. And when she found that, she questioned our connection. But for me, I'm going deep it. Like, I wrote that about a person that I'm not compatible with. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, completely.

Like my ex's husband is the opposite of me. Yes. He's the opposite in every way. Yes. And I'm so happy for her. I genuinely from the bottom of my soul, especially because I was a shit boyfriend, you know, and it was just like, well, I ended up being better, but, you know? So it's like, that's what I thought.

That's how high I was. I was like, this is the person to be with forever. And we're not even like the same shit. That's what I mean by, in my previous relationships, it's just been like, is this, where was this? the love or was it just obsession, toxicity, chasing, need it? Do you know what I mean? It's like this idea of waiting for the high to go, I guess I've been saying I'm not listening or not, but actually that is kind of exactly where my head's at. Like, what that's what I said? What would

happen if one waited to really feel something richer and fuller before you said those big words? Like I've been thinking about that a lot recently. Yeah. All right, I actually can't talk about this anymore. Thank you so much, everyone. You know, we have done two weeks. Love you. Like two weeks. Love you too. I love you too. And I can say I love you to you. We've done the groundwork. Done the groundwork. We are no longer in a bubble of high altered state. Yeah. So we have done astrology on Listen Bitch. Time ago. I swear it was episode four. And now we're going to do astronomy. Because Will, who is a wonderful person, person in our lives that used to work on Miss Me, he bought a telescope and showed me his view

of the moon through it. And I was like, whoa, dude, let's do astronomy for Listen, Bitch. Cool. That's how it came to be. I'm down. Yeah? I love the stars. Let's go on a moonbeam to the stars. All right, that's it. Next week, listen, bitch. All right, bye. Wait, no, Keyes.

Oh, yeah, phone number. 08,000, 30, 40, 90. Look how aligned we are. Leave a voice note, please, if possible. I know you want to stay anonymous, but it really helps when we can hear your voice. And please don't tell us about your fucking house. Oh my God. But definitely tell us about your area and your ends.

Tell us where you are. Tell us where you are, but not your house boss. It's not a fucking interior design show. I'm sorry. My through the keyhole podcast special will be coming up soon. The Miss Me Through the Keyhole podcast special. You can see this summer. Bye-bye.

Bye. Thanks for listening to Miss Me. Persevonica production for BBC Sounds. Ever wondered what's really going on behind the biggest celebrity scandals. From Justin Baldoni versus Blake lively to Kim Kardashian's sex tape lawsuit to Brigitte McCron fighting claims she was born a man. These stories dominate your feeds, but what's the truth? That's where our podcast, Fame Under Fire, comes in.

I'm Anishka Matadowity and each week we dig deep into the legal battles and controversies everyone's talking about with expert analysis and exclusive scoops. New episodes of fame under firedrop every week. Listen now and subscribe on BBC Sounds. If there was a big rent button that would just demolish the internet, I would smash that button with my forehead. From the BBC, this is the interface, the show that explores how tech is rewiring your week and your world. This isn't about quarterly earnings or about tech reviews. It's about what technology is actually doing to your work, your politics, your everyday life.

and all the bizarre ways people are using the internet. Listen on BBC.com or wherever you get your podcasts.