Miss Me? - Listen Bitch! I Know What You’re Doing in There!

Episode Date: November 11, 2024

Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver answer your questions about house parties.Next week, we want to hear your questions about Pleasure. Please send us a voice note on WhatsApp: [phone]. Or, if you like, send us an email: [e-mail] episode contains very strong language and adult themes. Credits: Producer: Jonathan O’Sullivan Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Production Coordinator: Hannah Bennett Executive Producers: Dino Sofos and Ellie Clifford Assistant Commissioner for BBC: Lorraine Okuefuna Commissioning Editor for BBC: Dylan Haskins Miss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

BBC Sounds music radio podcast. This week's episode of Listen Bitch contains some strong language, some adult themes and some references to drugs. Because? Because we're talking about house parties. Okay. I don't know what that accent was. It was meant to be Nottingham because there is also some references to Nottingham in this

episode of Miss Me. Welcome to Listen Bitch. We are both in London town. I'm back in the bits. Back in the bits, back in the ends, an appropriate setting for a walk down memory lane. We're talking about house parties, we're gonna get old school. I have been having some flashbacks about some really good house parties. Let's say we know how to throw a house party, we're taught by the best, we gave people some great times.

That's true. This is my time to shine. All those hideous house parties I had all over my houses that destroyed my homes today we're going to discuss them all like when Lester vomited in my wardrobe. Shut up. When did that happen? In Shoreditch flat. Shoreditch flat Halloween 2008. Was I there?

What was my boyfriend doing in your flat? It was uh, do you know what it was? It was the after party. Oh another example of you sleeping with one of my boyfriends. As if I ever got with Lester. Give me a break. You better not have. This was actually, don't worry this was all in example of you sleeping with one of my boyfriends. As if I ever got with Lester. Give me a break. Better not have. This was actually, don't worry, this was all in honour of you, you just didn't stay. It was after the second album, It's Not Me, It's You, like the first

campaign of it and you played at Coco and then we all went back to my house and Mark Ronson like came in a coach with like Lady Gaga or something all to my flat in Shoreditch, and that's where Lester vomited. More stories like this still to come. Coming up, let's get on with it. Coming up, many stories like this. First question for Listen Bitch. Hello, Makita and Lily. It's Lou here from Bristol.

First of all, I'll answer all the questions you posed at the end of the last episode. I work in safeguarding. My house is worth fuck all because I don't own one, as is the way these days. My question about house parties is, what is the most foul, disgusting thing that happened at house party you went to when you were younger? I remember a lot of pissing happening.

People in wardrobes, sort of unhinged partner swapping through bedrooms and obviously vomit. So let's hear yours. Bye. Yes, thank you. You go first. Yes, well, we've discussed vomiting, but then we had a 23rd, but the same flat. I had this flat in Shoreditch that you came to obviously on Great Eastern Street. And it was like a corner flat and it was top penthousey. Oh, so nice. But I lived in sin.

Yes you did. And it wasn't particularly clean or I was full of old weird broken furniture. But what a view. And I had a lot of parties and I had a 23rd birthday for tall Phoebe and someone pooed in the hallway. Like just pooed in the hallway, like not my hallway, the hallway of like the main building. And everyone was trying to figure out who did it. And I just, I felt so sorry for whoever felt the need

to go in the hallway. Well, you know who felt that was? What do you mean? Whoever was hogging the toilet. And if I know that flat and that house, it was a very, very busy toilet. So actually it's my fault. Your fault. You're saying I created the shit in the hallway.

Someone was probably knocking on that door for ages going, I'm desperate for a shit and no one cared because they were telling a story about themselves. And their grandma. How much they And their grandma. How much they love their grandma. No, no, no, let me tell you how much I love my grandma. No, no, no, no, no, because I went through that as well, actually.

Yeah, your turn. The most disgusting thing that ever happened at a house party. I don't know if I'm really passing judgment. I mean, once I remember being at a house party, a friend of mine not far from where I am now, and there was like a front terrace in front of the house and it was where they kept the bins

and it was like one of those big, rolly, wheely bins. And in the morning after the party, we were cleaning up and behind the bins were a pair of knickers, a pair of types, a crack pipe, and a credit card with the person who'd been there and a used condom. Oh my god so you could identify them? I identified the person. Do you want me to tell you who it is? We'll obviously beep it out. Yeah we'll beep it. It was ****. I thought she was so to-do. She is now.

Um let's move on I don't want to name and shame too many people we've all done discussing things at house parties let's get into the good times. Hi, Lillian Makita. It's Abbey from Sydney here. My partner Molly and I are huge fans of the podcast. She's going to absolutely die if this makes the episode. But my question for you is, do you like snooping around at a house party, especially if it's like a really fancy house. If so, what is the wildest, craziest, strangest thing you've ever found while snooping?

I got really sad the other day. Thank you for that question. I love that you're all the way in Australia and listening avidly. I got really sad the other day, that this is pathetic. And I thought, am I never going to go to like a rich kid's house again? And then like go upstairs and look at like the way their parents live and look around their house because I used to love doing that especially when I went to that weird American school in Clapham and I used to go to their

house parties. That was one of my favorite things being young, finding yourself at a rich person's house and looking around the way they lived and just like their fridge. Their fridge. Yeah, once I went to a house plate at Sam Branson's house and our family did know the Branson's, but finally I was in the yard in Holland Park, that one. Finally, she made it there.

I was like, let me have a look at how Richard Branson lives, you know. He lives well, really well. He was doing extremely well. Yeah. That was a yard and a half. Did they have like a fridge full of mineral water all like stacked in? No, it was more like they had like a good family den with like a dip and massive TVs

and real lateral floor. One of those wide Holland Park houses that just go on and on. I was like, oh, this is what Loads of Money really feels like. Loads of money. Took it in. But that's, I think that's over. I'm not a big snooper, to be honest. I can't really say that, like,

I get to someone's house and think, I wanna have a little nose wound. No, I think you're more self-involved. You've got more stuff to deal with. I'm more worried about what everyone thinks about me and who I'm gonna have a conversation with. And well, back in the day, it was like, where are the drugs? And now it's more like, how long do I have to stay here?

Yeah, I was going to say, how long can you last at house party sober? I can't even remember the last time I've been to a house party. Not even like lovely Upper East Side dinner parties in your New York life. I was hoping that they... I mean, I've been to like a dinner party, but when you say house party, I'm thinking like, you know, doing drugs in kids' bedrooms. That kind of stuff. Racking up on the side of a cot.

No, no, totally. Oh, it's just your house. No, I'm joking. Actually, I'm joking. Right. Ripping up good night moon and rolling it up into. Yeah. Okay.

So let's move on. I mean, this stuff's going to come up and I think it's important that we talk about it because it's truly not our lives anymore. And I think it'd be churlish to pretend that our past was any different than this. I think people would just know that we're lying. So we probably wouldn't have chosen this as a subject if we were like, none of really been to house parties before. Quite. Fucking run this shit.

She won't ask another question. Can we have another question, please? What's happening, girls? George, 31 from Kent, just a typical engineer driving in and out of London every day. Talking about house parties, back when I was a naughty little teenager I remember going to a house party and you know you have a little rummage around in their house. What I found was they had a pet snake in the bedroom. So what I decided to do was to let the snake loose and just let magic unfold after that. So my question is what stupid things have you done at a house party because you know it's not your house and it's not your responsibility.

Love the show. Thank you. An appropriate intro into George 31, Kent. This might be a great way of finding a husband. It's like, who are you? What's your age? What do you do? Don't pretend that that's not the whole point of this show is to find you a husband. And the whole show.

The whole show, yes. The whole thing. This is all an elaborate dating game for Makita. But actually she doesn't know about it. It's just everyone else. Foolishness, foolie. Have you ever been foolie? This like rummaging around and disrespecting other people's properties is just not something that I subscribe to. I'm not getting involved with this. I feel like this is a you thing

more than a me thing. Yeah, I'm racking my brain. But no, we haven't, I don't think we do too many fools. Oh! She's got something. Okay. We can't, that's illegal. We actually can't, so we can't talk about that, yeah. Let's get another question. Let's talk about the good times, for fuck's sake. Hi, Makita and Lily.

My name's Layla from Works Up, and I am a young offending worker. Just forgot what my job was then. So my question about house parties is, what age do you think house parties fizzle out at? Or should fizzle out at? Like if you're still house partying at 30, like is that acceptable or come on,

like it's time to retire kind of thing. What is an acceptable age to stop house partying? Come on, like, it's time to retire kind of thing. What is an acceptable age to stop house party in? Never. We had a 60th birthday for my Auntie Nanacheri at my mum's house in the suburbs, basically, just outside of East London. And all the neighbours came and it's on a little cul-de-sac and we had a rave and my auntie raved and it was her 60th and I remember thinking, nah, you never let the shubs die. Never let the shubs die.

I mean, okay, I'm going to just say 36. No, no, Lily! 36. But as I said, like when I'm thinking house parties, I'm thinking like sitting in like other people's bedrooms, like smoking in the house, like doing, you know, naughty things. And I think that that should end at 36. No, but that's then. You're not allowing the house party to evolve into your life now. And I think you're really missing out in what New York might have to offer you. Like when Iona goes to New York, she's like, Oh my God, we went to this gallerist friend of Yann's,

her boyfriend's, they have this like glass penthouse in Tribeca and there's all this art and beautiful canapes and good music like that's a house party as well go to dip into that a bit not for me doesn't not for you i would be rolling in that vibe i think you like people more than i do yeah it's a bit people-y the thing is also iona doesn't have kids and neither do you and so i'm always just thinking about how tired i am and what time I've got to get up in the morning to make scrambled eggs for Marnie. See I know a lot of mums that house parties is their release from that.

A lot of mums that have like all the other mums around. I bet they drink. Yeah, they do. Can we have another question, please? Hello, this is Sally from Edinburgh. I want to ask what is that house party that you had or have been to that is just legendary and everyone talked about four years after. Like I had a house party once where strangers would come up to me and be like oh God, you're that girl who had that party. I would say my legendary one was after the Glamour Awards, I'm guessing like 2008, where I was given a musician of the year award or whatever it was, but I got very inebriated

and was actually carried out over the rails and bundled into the back of a taxi. And I was, well, I was in a k-hole. And yeah, Emily, who was my assistant at the time, bundled into the back of a taxi. And I was, well, I was in a k-hole. And yeah, Emily, who was my assistant at the time, bundled me into the back of the cab. And then as they were trying to sneak me out, which is why they'd put me over the rails, and then the paparazzi spotted and so they came running. And so Emily just was like, just go, go, go, go, follow that car. It was Alan Carr who was in the cab in front. And so the cab started following them. And then Emily called Alan Carr and was in the cab in front and so the cab started following them and then Emily called Alan Carr and said,

take her to her mom's house, gave her the address. Anyway, I got home, obviously passed out in bed, but I woke up the next morning and it was like the who's who of London had all been in my house. There was Mark Ronson, I think there was like a couple of Razor Lights, James Corden, Noel Fielding was definitely there.

And you had just been upstairs, what flat is this? This is my mum's house. Oh, laters. And I fell asleep in my mum's room and so I woke up the next morning and it was just like detritus everywhere and still people on the sofa and like passed out. And yeah, for months afterwards, people would be like that party was so legendary. I was like, what are you talking about? I wasn't awake for any of it.

So the best party you had, you were not even conscious for? Two of the best parties I've ever had because the other one was my wedding and I was pregnant. So I went to bed at 1030 and everyone partied the night away. And I really think that that was one of the best parties. It was fucking brilliant. I had a great time. Thank you. What about my Christmas party when at 10.30 and everyone partied the night away and I really think that that was one of the best parties. It was fucking brilliant. I had a great time. Thank you.

What about my Christmas party when you DJ'd? I can't remember that. Okay, I can't remember that. I can go get you photos if you want. That's not going to jog my memory. I became very well known for my Christmas parties because I had this great flat in the other part of Shoreditch by like Shoreditch Park. It was like a big old button factory so it was like I had a mezzanine. part of Shoreditch by Shoreditch Park. It was a big

old button factory, so it had a mezzanine. You were talking about Eagle Wharf Road. Yeah. And it was just fucking epic. There's just nothing more to say. I'm a genius. But my dad taught me well. My stepdad, particularly Garfield. It's his job. Literally. To make parties. But on parties. Yeah, to make parties. And my mum and Nana in the old days would, if you read Nana's book, they sort of like 17 would go down Portobello and get like big bags of mackerel and clean them and wash them

in the bath and make these huge feasts for everyone in their squat with no money. Like a feast and putting on a good like energy for people. We were taught very early. I would pass it on if you passed it on to Ethel and Mani? A couple of years ago when we first moved into our sort of newish house, we threw a Christmas party and Ethel often refers to it as the best party she's ever been to. She is only 12. No, but still they're the ones you remember.

But she loves it. She's like, she's like, please can we have another party this year, another Christmas party, because I like sent out proper invitations and I like decorated everywhere with mistletoe. And you know how Christmas crackers I go with the decorations. Of course. I think we even had like caterers come and do our. Oh my God. This is the kind of New York house party I'm talking about. You just throw it yourself. Yeah.

Yeah. Yes. I like to host. I do like to host. That keeps me busy, you know? Yeah. And I'm such a homemaker and I do, I am very house proud. So I do like to, you know, zhuzh it all up and get everything spic and span and all my best books out at the front. What I most remember about house parties when we were younger, sort of like the kind of

lunches and stuff. I think there was quite a few at your house in Shepherd's Bush and Dodge, our uncle, Roger Pomfrey, who passed away about 15 years ago. Darling Dodge, he would always make a whole fish in one of those fish, what are they called? Like the big silver elongated trays. The long things.

It's called like a fish cooker or something. No, it's not, it's something else. They're very fancy. Well, maybe they're not, but I just think they're very fancy. Whenever George was doing that, I'd be like, oh, this is like a really nice party today. This is lovely. And I have a really clear memory of one of those in your house and show. They're my greatest memories from about three to 12, our families having house parties. I know what you mean. My earliest memory of a house party is at Berry Place, which was our little flat in Bloomsbury when my mum and dad were still together. I remember them having a party and

this is so indicative of me. I remember seeing it as an opportunity of there being lots of people to make money out of. I went to the kitchen and made a load of bagels and cream cheese because obviously at that point in my life, I thought that was the most delicious thing that could exist, and took them out on a tray and charged everyone 50p for bagels. Yep. Didn't know that cocaine was being consumed and that a cream cheese bagel was probably the last thing on everybody's mind.

Couldn't understand why I wasn't getting any offers. What do you mean you don't want this huge doughy snack right now? From a child. It's like buzzkill. Allison, lock her back in the bedroom, please. You know what? That must have been given to all of us in some way because at Crunch, which is like a photographic studio in Kensal Green that some of our family members ran, Mark Le Bon,

he had these parties and he would get in food for them and one time me, Phoebe and Marlon Neyman were like, well, let's just get them because it all arrived and we were like, let's just take all these boxes of noodles and charge everyone a pound for each thing. We made like 300 quid and he was furious. He was like, I cannot believe you've been charging me for the box. But it was great. We made loads of money. So yeah, we both were obviously taught that lesson. Let's take a little break. You know when you're in the party and you just have to get the fuck out there for a second? I feel like that. Now. See you in a minute.

Bye. You know when you feel like you can really go back inside and like start up a new energy with that person that was like giving you the eyes? That's where we're at now. We're like back in the room. Okay, enough with the analogy. Makita's still in the bathroom. Hello? Hello? I need the toilet. Lily, fuck off. I know what you're doing in there.

We must have a few more questions. So let's keep it moving and let's have another question about house parties. Heist party. Hi Lily and Makita. My name is Hannah. I live in Surrey. My question is what song transports you back to your heyday of house parties? Do you remember when I moved to the church? Yes.

In Bethnal Green. It was my first East London abode. I was sick of West London. I was 20. I said to my dad, I don't want to live in West London. I don't want to live in my 20s up and down fucking Port Bellarode, and by that time me and Lily had done West London. And so I moved to East, I was the first one out of all us lot.

I was really scared, I was in this church with Marlon, long haired Marlon, yeah, and it was like an art gallery at the weekends, because this is a really interesting time for Bethnal Green in East London. At the time it was like really vibey, and it was, like, art night on Thursdays, and all the art galleries around the area would open up, and they had some old man pubs. I mean, it was fucking great. And I lived in this church, and Marlon had a swimming pool in the main part of the church,

so people would come for the after parties for everything, and it was mayhem and chaos. But one night, me and you had that party in my room and played boo, Miss Dynamite, like maybe ten times. We just realised we knew every word. And there was about twenty of us and it was, you know, a euphoric moment of like, we are young, we are beginning a new chapter of our lives and this fucking tune has just united

us and made us feel so good. And I still think of it as a moment of like true joy now. Anytime that song comes on, we're catapulted back to that period of our lives. It's so true. It is the tune of the time. It is the tune of the time. Miss Dynamite Boo, if you don't know, you better recognize. Anything Red Rat as well.

Hey you got a little tight up skirt, then make my head swish, make my blood vessel burst. Okay, this and Bitch is quietly becoming just a karaoke sesh for you. That's not true. If you're allowed to wang on about the history of absolutely anything, then I can like jump in with a little bit of ragga sometimes, okay? And that's what makes this me such a dream actually, to be fair, that combination. Another tune that would transport me back to House Party Time would be The Streets,

Fit But You Know It, but it's the remix and it's with a young Kano and Lady Sovereign. And who is the other one? We never really understood who the other one was. There was another girl. Oh yes. Like a girl from Nottingham. Can't remember who her name is. I need you to call me over man, I need you to be near. No that's the...

Shit. That's the other tune on the Streets album when it's like, girl, get out of my house. Get out of my house. Please, actually give me back my keys. But I'll be proper angry if you're not back later on your knees. Okay thank you. It was Simone. Simone.

If we were to do some live shows in the spring of next year, we could walk out to like some tunes we love. What happened to Simone? We should have fucking like elevated her. Like she got lost in the South. And we did her a disservice. We gave all of the credit to Mike Skinner and she was actually who we rated on that song. Yeah 100 but we do have to rate Mike Skinner for

bringing Young MCs into that album that no one had ever heard of. I fucking miss being 20 I have to say. It's okay to sometimes just say yeah I do wish do wish I was 20, I could do it all again. Is that alright? One of those tunes transport us back to a proper time. Have you got a playlist from like 2003 in the new box? Yeah, I guess it is 2000s. I basically found this box from, I went to live at my godfather's house when I was in my early 20s, I guess, and I left a box of stuff under the bed and they just recently moved out of the house and so this box has made its way back to me and it's got like

five track demos in it and stuff. I guess it must be from when I before I'd even started writing it was like- No, it was when you would sit downstairs in the den on your computer and I didn't know what you were doing, but I guess this- There's a song that I did called Yeah Yeah Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They all sounded like great old school reggae tunes, I loved that era. I know, well it's there on CD, I don't even know how to play them now, I haven't got a CD player.

Well we'll buy you a CD, we're gonna buy you a CD, Walkman, what's it called? A Discman. Keep up. We talked about those as well. Well I fucking discussed them the other day. I'm sorry, we have not even answered this question, but this box is gonna come up a little bit more across the next few weeks, because it's like nuts. It's like Lily's your diaries in there. I know.

At day to day how we felt who we were at 20. Turns out I was taking valiums when I was 19. Anyway. Okay, let's have the final question for this year, this week, this day, this month, listen, babe. Hi, Lillian Makita. This is Brandon from Queen's Park in London. My question for you guys is,

what are your personal ingredients for the perfect house party? And what are the ingredients to make you leave within the space of an hour? Lil, he's in Queen's Park. We had good house parties at your flat in Queens Park. Yes, again, I can't really remember them, but. Do you remember when we went to the strip club,

me, Milo, and Louis, and Robbie, and then we came back, just like 10 of us. That was really nice. I've got pictures of that night. Ooh, don't remember. Don't remember. Don't remember. You were in a blue jumpsuit, and you looked good.

And you had like, it's not me, it's you fringe, and long black hair. I love it. Interestingly, it wasn't a black jumpsuit? Yes, it was a black jumpsuit probably. You've sell a roll like, knitted. Yes, yes. I remember. It was that, I think you knitted all that on, yeah.

What is the question, what do you need to be in a house party now? Me. With good music and I'd love Lily there as well, it doesn't happen very often anymore. But when we were young, if Lily was at a party that I walked into, always like, oh, good, Lily's here. But usually we'd be going together anyway. But bad music, I cannot abide. And you know what, I realized that we were somewhere the other day. That was it. Me and mum had to work at Wilderness Festival this summer. Thank you for having us, but Jesus Christ. And the music in the Verve Cliquotent that we had to sit in was

unbearable, unbearable. And my mum got really angry. I was like, this is where I get it from. My mum cannot abide house music. Some house music is good. I'm not going to have you say all house music is bad. This is it. And then Garfield steps in to do this shit. Not all house music is bad. And he'll say like like Chicago house is great. Chicago house and black. I don't give a shit. That is not what they play now.

We're talking bad dance music. So if that's in a party now, I'm out. I don't give a shit. I don't have time. But if the music's good, I could stay somewhere for days. I just need to hear good music, which is new for me because when we were young, it was more Phoebe and Lily that bounced about.

And I just liked to chat shit to people and get quite drunk. But now I really need to dance all the time. So I use house parties for dancing. Interesting. I would say nibbles, snacks is going to be important to me at this point in my life. Yeah, a little orze du frais. A good spread. A good spread. Well, I mean, I don't really love finger food, A good spread. A good spread. A good spread. Well, I mean, I don't really love finger food,

to be honest. You know what I'm like with food that's been exposed to the... Other human hands. Other human hands and also just the air. Like I don't, yeah. Considered food. I went to a great house party yesterday.

My neighbor, Kerry, had fireworks on her terrace. Well, no, no, she has a beautiful terrace next to mine and she looks the other way. So you can see all over Hackney and everything, it's so nice. Because of our heights of our flat, we get the fireworks of London. So it was like fireworks from every corner and it felt like every area was like stating its name like Stokey, Tottenham. It was really like the whole of London was speaking to us. It was nice drinks, good food and about 25 people, 10 of which I love and 10 I didn't know. That's good. And I went for two hours and she lives opposite me. Locality. I really like things that are

close by these days. Yeah, also hot men is a good thing for parties. Boys That Fancy Me is a recipe for a great party. Oh my god I didn't tell you, I saw the other day. Oh my god I was telling you. Anyway. Am I going to be interested on a personal level? If you care about my happiness you will be. Oh okay, so it's about you.

So not really. Well this has been lovely, this has just been absolutely lovely. Really feels right to have done house parties when you're in your new yard. Yeah. In our ends. That felt really good. The theme for next week's Listen Bitch. What are you gonna do? Who are you gonna be? Next week's theme for Listen Bitch is...

Pleasure! Pleasure! We need some fucking pleasure right now. And how much we believe we deserve pleasure. Giving pleasure, receiving pleasure. And places that you find pleasure. Like my church walks. In between my legs.

Um. All of the above. In between your legs, on a fishing trip, or in a book. Wherever you find your pleasure. Let's discuss it. We will see you for all that joy on next week's Listen Bitch. Bye Lil. Bye Makita.

Thanks for listening to Miss Me with Lily Allen and Makita Oliver. This is a Persephoneca production for BBC Sounds. They were the toy of the late 90s. This Christmas it's Furby. Furry, lovable and oh so cute. But what if those Furbies had a secret? You want to play again? Rumours swirled that these creatures were a cover for something much, much darker.

So they got banned. In the new series of Joanne McNally Investigates, I'm going to ask, were these little guys spies? Just crazy stuff would start happening. We'll get to the bottom of this scandal, an attempt to track down the brains behind the toy, which caused so much suspicion. A fugitive, a Furby fugitive. I have no comment. Joanne McNally Investigates, did Furbies spy on us?

Listen on BBC Science.