Miss Me? - Listen Bitch! Is Everything OK With Your Meal?

Episode Date: August 17, 2026

Miquita Oliver and Jordan Stephens answer your questions on RESTAURANTS. From when it’s OK to complain or not, and what they’d change about the dining out experience. And is it about time we normalised that table for one?Next week the theme is BEING ON TIME with Zawe Ashton guesting with Jordan. This episode has already been recorded though - so please don’t send in additional questions on this occasion! Normal voice-noting will resume the week after - and for anything else, the WhatsApp is https://wa.me/447849030711Get weekly cultural recommendations from the Miss Me? Library at patreon.com/missmeFollow the show on instagram and TikTok @missme.4evaProducer: Natalie JamiesonTechnical Producer: Oliver Geraghty Assistant Producer: Katie-Louise Buxton Video Editor: Danny PapeProduction Coordinator: Tom JacksonExecutive Producers: Ellie Clifford & Dino SofosMiss Me? is a Persephonica show Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jordan, we have a podcast to record. It's called Listen Bitch. Welcome, World, to Listen Bitch. The final of the Makita Listen Bitch of the summer. So you're going away for two weeks, man. It's happened. I did it like three times this year. Yeah, no, I know.

I know. I'm fully aware you've had time off. I haven't. And it's my time. But before let's talk about something. Let's really live in a theme. The theme for this week's Listen Bitch. is restaurants.

Restaurants. Dining. I think this could take us to some great places. Me and my mum like to play the restaurant game. Oh my God, we both have our dogs. Do you want to do you want to work restaurants? What do you think about restaurants? You're not really allowed in restaurants, Eddie, are you?

Because, hey, disclaimer, I'm not a foodie, so this would be fun. This isn't about being a foodie. Restaurants are in all of our lives, and we've all been in them at one time or another. Most likely, if you're a foodie. Everyone's a foodie. Who doesn't like eating food? I think, Keats, you understand what I mean and you're being silly? No.

It's like when people go, I'm really into music. It's like, yeah, duh. No, see, another great example of my point. Some people passively listen to music and it's actually upsetting. That's true, actually. I like food and can go to food places because I'm like, this would be fun. But I also eat predominantly for my own well-being. I don't eat for pleasure.

Oh. Yeah, but that's something we've discussed. That's an issue that you have, isn't it? Issue. Shut up. Not issue. Issue. Oh, sorry, I want my body to run efficiently. No, not issue. Actually, I think I've just grown up with people with food issues. Your mum's actually been open about that, and she's a fucking legend for that. Just want to say that. Yeah. Just while we're there, instead of making a joke of it, that's actually fucking real and Andy's a fucking G. And also, can you imagine that as a thing in life?

I'm obsessed, I've got a food addiction and I'm also the best that cooking food in the world. No, children, it's so much deeper than that. It's like there is a big thing. We'll go into it in restaurants, but it's a big thing for your addiction to be something that you need to have. But please let me add, please let me have,

and I'm the best at making. And it happens to be brilliant at cooking it, yes. Yeah, it's a double sort of a life. It's like fucking wild. It's a head fuck. Let's have our first question for restaurants. Hi, my name is Harriet and I'm messaging him from Manchester. My question on restaurants is if you could change one aspect of the dining experience, what would it be?

Mine would be to never use those horrible QR codes scanners again, where you scan and then you order your food on that. I absolutely hate it. I'm happy to go to the bar, but I hate, hate, I hate scanning the QR codes. What are your thoughts? I agree. God, I agree. Remember where QR codes came in? Let's remember. It was lockdown. And if you're saying that, you know, restaurants are predominantly for foodies. I was being silly, but yeah. But, you know, people that want to eat for pleasure. I hear you. And, you know, really take pleasure in dining. Restaurants being taken out of our lives as one of the many things taken out of our lives within COVID in lockdown.

I think really reminded us how much they give us that has nothing to do with food. It's where we connect. It's part of how. we make experience and memory. And when the QR code came in and that kind of experience of holding a physical, tangible menu was gone along with being able to sit near each other and everything, I don't know, it's something that stayed and it's this cold, COVID-y thing that shouldn't really be part of a dining experience anymore. Yeah, we had to eat out to help out. We had to.

God, it was another time. A lot of people were eating out. Why have you got that look on your face? What the fuck are you implying? You're bringing oral sex into restaurants. Everyone should constantly eat out to help out. It would really help out. We did miss rest, sure.

There's many other parts of the restaurant experience that we love. Yeah, if there's one thing I could change. Do you know what? I would wish people to be more comfortable. I really notice when people are nervous in restaurants. And when I say nervous, I mean nervous about talking to their waiter or nervous about asking about the food or even just nervous about saying what they want, like ordering.

I've been for quite a few dinners recently and I really notice when someone is like confident and relaxed in a restaurant really does change the experience. I think people can feel quite intimidated by certain restaurants. Oh, my God, massively. I, one of my, because obviously I use the internet predominantly outside of Miss Me, which in which I'd like to believe I share love, I do complain about fun things because why not?

Because why not? I am my own Larry David, right? And one of the things, which I'm saying tongue in cheek, okay, let me disclaim with this by saying, I understand that being a waiter, waitress, a service person in a restaurant, very hard job, long hours, don't get paid that much.

I mean, in America you literally rely on tips, which is wild to me. But like, it's like tough. I don't think it's easy. The checkback rule, which I can only believe, is been implemented by a boss in the restaurant or just like a general idea of restauranting. I, like, if you're going to ask me how the food is, yeah,

like, it's, it's, don't ask me when I'm flow state. If I'm like in a, I'll be in, I'll be in, I'll be talking to a friend, Jane, we're chatting. and then they might say something in passing like, you know, how disgusting are rats, right? And then I'm like, rats? No, rats have done all this. And I'm like, they're flowing. Here's some facts about rats. And they're coming back and going, no, da-da-da-da.

And we're there. And someone comes on and goes, is everything fine with the food? It was. Jordan. It was until you just came. Like, boss, I'm, read it. Read it. That's the dance of great service.

Read it. I'm a child of the hospitality industry. I've seen many restaurants. My mom's had many restaurants. and you need to check that everything's okay because sometimes people will be like, I can't believe they haven't asked if we don't need anything.

Yes, right. I hear that. I get that. And I understand the concept loosely. But let's be real. For some restaurants, it's applied. There's no discretion. Yes.

And you need less of it in your dining experience. Like, you know what? You know what? Let me spin this. Let me turn this so I don't sound like a dick, right? I want to shout out all the waiters and waitresses out there who have, in spite of being, underpaid, still the emotional capacity and joy to be able to base their checkbacks on the

individuals in a restaurant. When people do the rounds, right, is like, do you still, I used to enjoying your food? I used to enjoy your food. Are you enjoying your, boss? You're not, you're doing it because your boss is looking. Like, I, to pick a moment, have a little look. If someone's like, if someone's there with their food wincing, yes, go and ask them if it's all right. Like, if someone, if someone's talking about who played better, last game against Arsenal, Manu, I would recommend don't interrupt the, if somebody's crying because they've just been broken up with, don't come over and ask them if their food's all right. Brilliant. Now, every waiter that works, everyone that works in the hospitality industry that

listens to Miss Meet, fucking hates us. That's good. No, no, no, because listen, because listen, I've lost the audience. I have a lost audience because I'm saying the empathy is with them. A lot of the time, I think they would want to not do that, but they're being watched by someone who's not caring about discretion. They should be rewarded for doing. doing it at a time that best that is that based off of their like vibe not just a boss looking at them going do that otherwise you're in trouble that's why they have to do it and they hate it this is actually a message to floor managers and front of house yeah like like i just feel and also i do get listen i many people have corrected me online i understand why the tip back exists

some people are shy also if someone wants to change their food they've got to do it quickly otherwise it gets into a whole other dilemma i understand it i'm just you know what let me change it just don't ask me. Don't ask me if I'm at your restaurant and... He's well known. You know his face. If you see him in a restaurant, do not ask him how his meal is. I will. I promise you if there's something wrong with the meal, I'll tell you. Just me specifically. Other people might not. Me, but I will 100% I will alert you. I don't mind being asked. I'm very polite. I always go, it's very good. Thank you. I know. I say it's very good. Oh, shut

out. I say it's, I'm not rude to them in the moment. It's very important to be polite to waiters. very important to be polite to service people because they are being of service what the fuck what do you mean like and also they can change my life like if i might be having the shitter's day i eat alone a lot and i and you know if someone comes over and they're lovely made my day do you eat alone a lot i i you used to eat alone a lot i'm really self-conscious obviously sorry it's not funny but that was when i was on tour no it wasn't it was when you were eating sad spaghetti sorry it's not funny that's what i'm saying on my spaghetti volenays tour, okay? I was on tour then. That was different. Okay, I was touring.

But now... Depression tour. You're going to see all this past a depression tour. But now that I'm in a healthy space and doing well, I'm really self-conscious to eat alone. I really am. I don't know why. I do it all the time. I just bring my Kendall. My cousin said to me the other day he's been having dinner a lot on his own. My friend Maddie loves to take herself for like a three-course meal on her and with like wine and pasta and starters. I just, I would love to. But I feel. feel really self-conscious. That's fair. I think is it in Japan where they have like single booths? Yeah, that would be really nice.

I'd really like that. They should have more restaurants set up for solo dining. Oh, there will be. Don't worry. But the rate we're going, the rate we're going globally with breakups, there will only be solo dining restaurants. I love being dead hours. Like, that is the future.

Well done. That's good. Yeah. Okay. Let's have another question. I don't want to cover too much under one question. I love all the wetism, which I'm not even trying to hate. It's the fault of the restaurant industry.

Let's have another question. Hopefully we've got someone from the restaurant industry. Hi, I miss me going. That's all apologies. I'm very husky today. I'm not very well. But I've just seen that the next theme is going to be restaurants. And I just had a quick question for you guys.

I find it really confusing when a lot of people in British culture don't like to make a fuss if there's something wrong with their meal at a restaurant. like there could be a hair in someone's food and they might choose to either move the hair and eat around the area where the hair was or it might choose to just not eat the meal but not complain. Whereas I personally would call the wait staff back and be very politely, be like, I'm really sorry, there's actually a hair in my food. And I find it very interesting because the British are quite renowned for complaining. And yet when it comes to that sort of thing, a lot of people just wouldn't. Who's done this to me? Is it Katie? And I wondered which one you guys are.

I feel, and I might be wrong, I feel like Jordan, you would say something politely and ask for any one. And I feel like McKee, you would probably feel too impolite to make a big deal. So I feel like you might remove the hair. Or no, actually, I think you just would say, I'm not going to be that. And not say anything. But maybe I'm wrong.

Let me know. Who is this husky-voiced, wise woman who knows us so well? My recommendation would be that waiters and waitresses should check back. What? Is there a hair in your food? I think they should do the rounds and ask everyone if they're enjoying their food as often as possible. What's that got to do with the question? It's joke, Keats. I don't get it.

I've just complained that waiters and waiters and waiters and waiters check back on the food. Got it. And the reason why they do it is because some people aren't confident enough to tell people that there's something wrong with their food. And then we got a question from somebody saying, why do British people continue with their food instead of highlighting it? That was, in fact, the selection of the question, I think, was actually an attack from one of the production staff on this podcast. They knew that that was the next question to make me look like a fucking dick because not everyone is pronounced. No, it is because the truth. Speaking up for the other people.

The other side, which I had never, which I'd never denounced. I was talking about discretion. I'm not saying there shouldn't be any checkbacks. Exactly. And for the record, I would eat the hair. How about that? Plot twist. I think there's nothing worse than a hair in your food.

I don't think there's anything worse you can find. Apart from a fly. There's definitely, there's 100% worse that you can find than a hair. I can tell you that. No. I'd say hair's the worst. Makita. Makita.

I don't want to know. Do you want me to list you some of the things that have been found in food? No. Not even just me. People. Because it will upset me. I can put you off chicken in, I can put you off fried chicken in one sentence. No, no.

Please don't ruin fried chicken for me. Do you not they have to chop out of red meat before they, before they serve it in a lot of places? Pieces. Cancer. Cancer of what? Cancer of what? Of the fucking pig or cow? What do you mean?

It's one of the reasons why don't you read meat. No, but it won't just be, it won't just be red meat actually. But, um... Thanks, Jordan. Jesus fucking Christ. worse things of hair. I can think of worse things than that. No, you're right. That is worse. You're right. That is worse than a hair.

Cancer. Thank you. But like, what's so bad about Heather? Can you just throw it out there? Like, obviously, is I don't know what it is. It's just, you know what it is? It's too intimate. Right. It's like, where's the hair from for a start? You know what I'm saying? And then start the questions. That's what it does. It creates questions that I don't want to answer.

I don't want to answer them. I don't want to answer the questions. Do you know what I? But the questions come. The questions come. Oh, is that a hair? I wonder where that came from. Could have come from a pub. It must just be from someone's sweaty head.

What, the chefs? And then the... This is also why I'm being very, very, very, very specific about my thing that I would change. My desire for the discretional checkback is not... And I mean this, is not an attack on a weight to waitress or specifically the chef or sous chef because you do not want to upset a chef

because they will do things to your food. I do not That's also quite a galling statement You can't say that I come from a family of chefs And I don't think anyone's spat in a burger You know I'm ringing Andy right now

No, don't I'm ringing Andy right now No, don't No, don't She actually can't say that as her job Yeah, she wouldn't even tell you the truth Do you know what Jordan? Jordan, ring her off air

Oh, okay Yeah, let's have another question Let's have another question Before every chef in this country stops listening to Miss Me. Let's have another question. Because I know we're big in the hospitality industry. Hi, Jordan and Makita. It's Lizzie in Sheffield. I've been a long time listener. I've missed me and I'm finally sending a voice note. Great. So restaurants, my favorite restaurant is Casa Italia and Liverpool, which is a family-run restaurant that's been there for like 40 years.

I love it. I love the vibe. The food is amazing. I always get so excited when I'm going there. and it's not too expensive it's kind of like middle of the road Italian I just wanted to know whether you prefer like more high-end places or if you're also like a comfort food, not too much

money sort of vibe thank you very much bye I love this question I'm somewhere in the middle but I really like a neighbourhood restaurant a restaurant that speaks to the kind of village

within the city that it's in. Do you know what I mean? Like there's a real difference between like a neighborhood restaurant in like Peckham as opposed to like Chelsea as opposed to like Highgate. I really like the idea of a restaurant

representing the people that live around it and who they are, what they do, what they like. I like it. I like restaurants as a sort of adventure through different parts of the city or the country that I'm in.

I think we kind of ate our way through Sri Lanka, didn't we? We didn't go to that many restaurant. Actually, we did. That's the best. That's why it's so sick going on a holiday of your mum, because she's just linked up, brother. They're like, oh, I just know this chef from do-da-da-bum.

Next thing I'm eating like some mad delicacy. And I'm like, wow, this is, I've never experienced this in my life. Jordan, you don't have to leave the country to play the restaurant game with my mum. Have you never played the restaurant game with Andy? No. So you just pick any restaurant you want. because every chef in this country loves my mother,

and then you go and they treat you like kings. It's the best game ever. Oh, that's great. It's so fun. It's so fun. Me and my mom went to a restaurant once in Scotland, and we got there, and all the waiting staff were, like, queued up. Like we were the royal family.

Yes, Andy, man. Yeah, I know. My mom's become the king of restaurants. It's beautiful, considering we couldn't afford to go to them when I was a child. It's really quite a lovely twist. the tail. Where did you and Emma used to go when you were young? Did you have like it? Because I like that she was talking about like a neighbourhood local restaurant. Did you have a place that you and mum went a lot?

Okay. I'm just going to answer what came into my head. Right? I don't know if this is the best answer. But I grew up vegetarian. You know that, right? No. Yeah. I didn't eat meat until I was like 17. Ever? Nah. I remember once I ate a bacon sandwich out of politeness at a friend's house when I was about 15 because I didn't want to be rude. But yeah, no, I didn't eat any meat, no. Didn't eat any meat. So I was vegetarian. It's like I don't even know you.

The first time I had a burger was because I was so drunk at Reading Festival. And I saw those of drunk people going to get burgers, so I thought that's how you sobered up. And what did the taste of meat taste like to you after never having had it? I was so drunk, I can't remember. But I just remember thinking, well, doors open now, isn't it? We used to eat a little corn, actually. So it wasn't that weird, texture wise, by the way. Corn, like corn burgers, corn, corn, corn, sausages.

you know what I mean, which is the texture of the soyore protein, it tastes like meat. If the shape, the texture's like what I then realized was meat. What am I saying? Hold on. Tutsies. Oh my God, don't tutsi me. So Tutsis, isn't it a vegetarian burger place? Did you have a Tutsis in Brighton? I wasn't in Brighton, Mekita. I moved to Brighton. You said when I was a kid.

I moved to Bright when I was a teenager. Right. So which Tutsis you chat in about? And to be fair, in Brighton, I used to have to Red Veg, which was like an unbelievable vegetarian burger restaurant, which is where I met. the guy who took me to my first rap workshop. He was working in there. I also remember going to get the Tutsis and then sitting in the car with my mum,

eating it. And then that was the first time I heard original park material by the streets as well. God. It's a real locked memory. What a summer. Yeah, yeah.

It's a really locked memory being like, whoa, this is a banger and this food is bath. And that's a banging show. That's like a memory made. It's a proper lock, like tastes, like hearing, all the things. Sounds, all senses.

So that was a Tootseys for me. Tutsis was on, Tutsis was a, if we're talking about the same place, Tutsis was a milkshake and burger diner on Holland Park Avenue and talking about restaurants and poverty, when we were poor, I would just like walk past it. And sometimes like Charlie Robeson's family, they were rich, and he would have his birthday party there. So we'd all go to Tutsis and it'd be paid for.

They did a but a scotch milkshake that was just, oh my God. But I remember when my mum, hello. I'm reading about Tutsis, why are you saying it? As you do, actually. irony. Tutsis, when did it open? Tell me. But it was great. And then I remember my mom got a little bit money and we went to Tutsis. Oh, 989. I think what it was, babe, it wasn't vegetarian, but they had a vegetarian burger. And not that many places did that. Yeah. At that time. God, Tutsis, thanks for taking me back to Tutsis for a minute. But can I say, can I say that my answer to the actual question

is I'm, my favorite kind of restaurant by far is a family run restaurant. That, that for me, That is the single thing that ties all the lovely places. There's a tiny place called Ida in Kenzel Rise in Italian. Yeah, Kilburn. Yeah, Kilburn. Love that place. That family run. There's a history to it.

Like, beautiful scenes. Also, can I shout out Habibi in Margate? Habibi and Margate, same thing. Run by Khaled and then his mother recipes, his sister. Like, the whole family are there. It's this beautiful Lebanese food. Like, strong recommend Habibi and Margate, if you guys haven't been. Love that. I should shout out some neighbourhood restaurants.

But I know what you mean when you feel like it's not just family, but it's not just family, it's not just home-cooked food. It's family-run, those two things. I feel like you can taste love and food, I really do. I feel like if it's like been handed down and it's been made like with a purpose and intention, I feel like it tastes different to food that's like in a franchise, whatever it's like boom, boom, load it up, there you are, fuck off.

I agree with you. And I have to say something also like there's a road in West Side and called Goldbourne Road, but obviously me and you'll know it well. And it's old school and it's got a huge Moroccan community. And it, within lockdown as well, got just so gentrified. Like five new restaurants opened up. And you know how COVID kind of allowed for people to do more outdoor seating? So now on Goldblown Road there's like outdoor seated restaurants like maybe five or six.

And it has completely changed the vibe of the area. It's very pretty. And it's very nice. If you walk down Goldham Road in the evening now, you wouldn't believe you'd think you're on King's Road. I don't like that. It's not nice. And there's a fish man, that's fucking big up the fish man who's been in a truck there for 30 years. And it's the most beautiful home-cooked whole fish and you get rice and salad and it's beautiful.

If that ever goes, then I will come for all those other restaurants. I won't name names. That's sad, man. Goldborn. It's sad when restaurants do that. But there's a road in West London called Kensington Park Road. Wait, but hold on. You still have the family run.

Oh my God, there's a spot I used to eat around a corner from Goldbourne. Wait. Oh my God, oh my God, my God. Galicia? No, it's, oh my God, I don't really far. Jordan, it's probably gone. No, it can't be. Upset you.

But Colbourne Road's very different. But I want to say Kensington Park Road, for me, was the first road that I sort of understood dining. It has all these beautiful Italian restaurants, and it had a restaurant on it. When I was a kid, it was called 192. And it was on Kensington Park Road. And it was like this incredible hub of people from the film world, music world, media. And it was the 90s. And my mom lived there.

And we would go there every night. And it would be like sometimes like Robert De Niro or like Al Pacino on Kensington Park Road. And it was a vibe. And it was home until 2 a.m. And my mom used to have lunches there. I don't know how we afforded it. I think other people were paying. But that was when I realized like how fun restaurants could be.

my mom and her friends would just spend hours, days in 192. So thank you, 192, for bringing me up. And then I worked there when I was a kid. Big up. Big up. Let's have another question. The theme is restaurants. And I feel like we're all dining together today. Hi, Makita and Jordan.

My name's Felicity. I'm from North Devon. When you go to a restaurant and you order something, that you love. Do you have it and receive it in the way that the chef wants to cook it for you? Or would you insist upon it being cooked in the way you wanted it?

I'm thinking specifically things like steak. I really love steak, but I'm too embarrassed to eat it in a restaurant because I like it really well done, which is kind of unforgivable. most people, lots of people have told me that's unforgivable. Would you still order the thing you loved and insist upon it being cooked in the way that you can enjoy it? Or would you kind of just avoid it altogether?

Or would you trust that the chef knew what they were doing? Thank you, Felicity. And we just wanted to say to Felicity and to other people that Felicity sent a really long, beautiful message about the last few years of her life and sort of the different tumultuous, things that she's been through and that Miss Me has been with her all the way. And that means a hell of a lot, actually, Felicity. So I'm happy we could be partners in your life with you to accompany you on the adventures of life.

Best thing about podcasts. We're with you all the time. We come with you everywhere. But great question. Now, the thing about this is, the thing about this question is, I need to remember that I don't know everything. And in life, but also in restaurants. because I thought I liked my steak, medium to well.

And the other day I went for dinner with my friend Maddie, and she gets it, it's not called, raw, was it called? Rare. And they gave me the wrong one. They gave her the medium to well, it gave me the rare, and it was unbelievable. And I don't think I'll ever eat steak any other way again. So I think chefs have a point when they say go rarer than you think with a steak. But if you like it well done, then you like it well done. But it is nice to let a chef lead you to places of beauty and, you know, tantalizing newness that you may not have experienced without being led by them, being guided by them.

I know my mum likes to guide. She does. I like, again, saying this as a non-foodie, I don't understand the point of going to a restaurant if you're going to ask somebody to make the food how you would make it. Otherwise, you might as well make it at home. Right. Like I think, I guess with steak is different because I guess you're paying for the cut of this, of that particular beef or whatever. But I feel like one of the things I've been gifted with by my mom is the desire to try things. So even if I don't like it, I'm willing to try it because that's, for me, that's the point of going somewhere new.

So I can try something. I often ask people, I often ask waiters actually what they would recommend on the menu and I just go for it. Oh, you're one of them. Whoa. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because it's like, look, I have both. So let me, you know what, there's three parts of my dining experience. One, I hyper fixate on the meal, right?

So if, like, for example, there's a suya place in Greenwich, and I am obsessed with eating Nigerian food now since going to Lagos and I eat it like literally once or maybe twice a week. It's actually wild. And I love it so much, like, and I don't know when I'm ever going to be bored. That's one part of me. But if I'm going to go to a restaurant, I'll go, oh, what would you recommend? And then I'll try it because why not?

Because I'm at the restaurant, even though I know roughly what things I might like, depending on my mood. And then the other part, which I will say in terms of actually a response to the previous question, because I just remembered I did this, I was given, I had porridge at like a breakfast spot a cafe, it's not a restaurant as a cafe, but I asked for oat milk and it gave me normal milk. I actually saw the pressure that everyone was under, and I actually did just eat the porridge with normal milk, even though it fucked my belly up for a bit. Oh, it did fuck, I actually fucked your belly up. Yeah, yeah, fully. But like, but it was, I just was like, I don't really want to, you know, like, fuck it.

It's not that deep. Like, it's just like, like, it's just my body's not used to it. Yeah, I'll have a bit of dairy today. Yeah. But like, yeah, yeah, I think, I'm happy to be led by people if I feel they're passionate about it. I gauge it from a person and then, you know, then I can just blame them if it's rubbish. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. Let's have another question. I'm Irish, but I live in London. And I love

the podcast, Makita. You're an icon and Jordan. I mean, I've read a book. I'm also an ADA. H-D King. I feel like there's no other heterosexual man I look up to, so thank you for all of the wisdom. Restaurants recently went through a breakup, decided to go solo travelling to find myself or some shit. And I was terrified of eating out alone because I've always been in relationships. I've always travelled with people. But I went out on my merry way, sat down, and oh my God, I had the best culinary experience. I feel like when you're with people, there's a distraction to food.

When you're by yourself. Taste that shit. Every flavor. It almost feels like meditation. It felt fun. It felt like free. So yeah, if anybody's listening, go out and treat yourself

to a nice bloody meal because you deserve us. Love the podcast. Thank you, babes. The soldiers are gathering, yeah? Let's talk about the development. Let me just say, we said this before about the missing me listeners.

No, no, keep chill. I'm talking about straight guys listening to Miss me. Like it's like that's like what a vibe. What a vibe like that we're, you know, we're building, we're building on this. There is an advantage for those who are still upset that I'm not in a girly WhatsApp group.

There is advantages to this, including my man who has had a beautiful solo dining experience, which I would argue is something that would be more closely associated in an erotic sense with women. They'll be like, oh, I'm going to go and dine myself. My man did it and he felt good. And I think that's a good message. Yeah, well, I'm a woman. and I don't do it enough.

I need to do this, I think, for myself. It's a good point about not being distracted. Yeah, I mean, I guess, of course, I always have reading material on me, right? I've always got something to read, whether it would be a supplement or a book. But maybe I just want to try and go without even that and not look at my phone and just be on my own confidently at table at a restaurant. No, it is good. The one thing I will put as a caveat is if you are going to eat alone,

make sure that there's other people in the restaurant because, my God, I've had two experiences where it's like I'm being stared at by this one guy You know what? I once was staying in Budapest And opposite me was of I don't know how you say it foe or faux Whatever place

I think it's foe But I say faux Because I'm an idiot Oh you mean faux P-HO Yeah But the point is I'm there And I'm eating it

And I said to the guy It's just me Right I said to this guy Can I also make your chili Brings over a bunch of Cut Up red chili with a shit ton of seeds in.

I didn't really clock. I've poured the thing in the in the foe and I'm eating it. Keats, you know me. I like a bit of spice. No, I like a bit of spice, right? I was beyond. I couldn't.

And this guy knew that I'd tip the whole thing in. He saw me tip it in and he thought, this guy's a lunatic. So he's staring at me from across the restaurant. So I've got a firm it. So I'm in this standoff with this guy. Keith, my nose and eyes are dripping. Like, I'm literally like,

my, like all, I'm sweating, I'm crying. Trying to be like, I'm a bad man. I can handle this. And I'm there just like, thanks bro. Thanks for the chitty, bro. And I'm like, I have to finish this. Because I thought he's going, what's this dick? Out of pride.

Out of pride. I didn't have. No, no, no, I meant to put the whole thing. Yeah, I put a whole thing in what? You can't do it. Because I cry. I'm an idiot. That's how I eat.

Yeah, yeah. Shit. I'm going to. That day was toxic as fuck, but I went back to my hotel. I was like, I don't think I could ever look at a chili again. No, I hear you. I hear you. So dine alone, but just make sure there's other people there.

Okay, I'll go to a restaurant on my own where others are. Got it. Can we have a final question for this week's Listen, Bitch? We have been talking altogether about the beauty and not so much of restaurants. Hey, this is Hannah. I live in London. Love the Pod. Would you rather?

go and eat at a restaurant that doesn't exist anymore that's like from your past that you love, it might be from your childhood or you might be have really good memories of like, we're also with good friends there or it's just really blooming good food. Or eat at a restaurant that's in another country, but like magically have the food come to you. What would you rather? Let me know. I love this question. I know why answer for sure. I did eat something once.

See, I really like, how do I explain this? My favorite kind of menu is like meats, fish, sides, starters. So that makes sense? Like I really like the menu of like, I guess like a bistro. Like, oh my God, I forgot. My name just gone blank. Who's your mate? Who's got the pub?

Tom Carriage. Carriage. Tom Carriage. That's his vibe. Yes, that is his vibe. And he does it unbelievably well. Yes, exactly. seasonal simple food cooked really, really, really well.

And I've learned from my mum, and obviously that's what they say, and great British menu a lot. Like, that is the point of, like, great food. So anyway, the four, this is ridiculous, but the four seasons in Beverly Hills, which I used to go to stay at a lot for Junkets, I was very lucky to stay there. I love that hotel.

That menu is my favorite menu in the entire world. And if I could have four seasons room service, delivered to my house at any time of any day. Oh my God, I'd be fat and happy. I don't know I've ever been to a four seasons. Oh, and also there was a place called Shanghai in Hackney. There was an old family-run Chinese restaurant that was here for years,

and we used to do so many family parties there, and there was karaoke, and they used to have those spinning tables. And now it's a games bar. Thank you, Dawson. If you're traveling down the rivers of Blue Mountain in Jamaica, right, Like you can raft You can do rafting down a mountain

We actually weirdly did it up the mountain And then down But that's for another reason Because we got intercepted by a man Who turns out to be quite lovely and interesting But you can go raft You go up to the top of this mountain You go rafting and you come down

Now if your raft that has the connects Halfway down You can ring a woman But I think it's called Belinda Her name Belinda And if Belinda's up for it She comes down from her house in the mountains with a couple people to the, to a, to a, like a shore, a little shore at some

point in the, like on the, in the rafting journey and just cooks up a fucking storm, literally. No, that's unbelievable. No, literally it is. In the blue mountains of Jamaica. In the blue mountain of Jamaica, like, one, like this raft, rafting down this mountain is honestly an unb-I can't even put into words how beautiful the scenery is like Jamaica is an unbelievably beautiful island. It's beyond comprehension. And yeah, Belinda's just out here. And our Rafter knew her. So he gives her ring. He's like, listen, I got a couple people,

like what we're saying. She's like, yeah, cool, say less. Comes down. And she's not, and also. Belinda goes, say less. Yeah, because you really should be given her, apparently, a day's notice. So when I said to the Rafter, like, oh, we never wrong, Valinda. He's like, oh, mate, I'm not sure if I can, you know, and then he wrong her. And she was up for it. So she's come down. And, and, yeah, just like, come down with, like, whatever was. around at the time, I guess the food she had left over. She's got like maybe a kid who kind of sits you down and serves up the food. It was phenomenal.

So if I could have any food just arrive at my yard, it would be Belinda's. Belinda from the Blue Mountains. I really have I've got her name right. Even if I got her name wrong, people know. If they've had the experience, they know what I'm talking about. And you can only access her. I don't think that many people have had the experience. I think it would be surprised.

Let me look it up real quick. Hold on. I think people can only access her if you have to connect. Oh, okay. It is good people. Belinda's Rivers. Yeah, because you can give her advanced warning. It was whether or not she was, she was, yeah, here we go.

Yeah, Riverside, but it is Belinda. Oh, dude, the food looks so good. Yay, Belinda. It looks so good, but you can only get there via raft, bro. Jordan, you might have to get in touch soon because I've been saying the next family holiday should be Jamaica when we all go away again. Sorry, the banks of Rio Grande in Portland Parish,

is that, maybe that isn't Blue Mountain. Okay, the banks of Rio Grande, Portland Parish, outside Port Antonio, Jamaica. Okay, still Jamaica. Views a lot go Jamaica. Okay, anyway, when are you going? I'm not saying we're going as a family. You're coming, dude.

Oh, what, is that this new year? It's Jamaica. Oh, my God. That's like the next family holiday. Do you know what's madder? I might even be in Miami in December, so that's not even that crazy. Oh, my God. Local, local, local.

That's not even that crazy. And then I can go to Costa Rica after. See you in the Blue Mountain. See, I'll see you at Belinders. Dude, I would actually love that. Have you been to Jamaica before? Never. I genuinely think it will blow your mind.

I genuinely think it will blow your mind. But just because outside of the fact, do you drink coffee? Yeah. So for me, I mean, coffee snobs say that. It's too baked to say. But Blue Mountain coffee. Best coffee in the world. Just let me start there.

And then also, everyone's really sound, really lovely. And also, it will be really confusing. It's very green and beautifully. But it'll be a further confusing experience for you because you're mixed race. Being mixed race in Jamaica was fucking trippy because, like, Like, everyone's black. Yeah. And it's like, and it's funny, I think even one of the drivers we had just used to,

I think he should just call me white boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I had locks at the time. So I was like, yeah. Yeah, still white boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's jokes. It's jokes. But, but it's beautiful to be around that.

And also there's patty, fast food there is patties. There's like a patty spot. Yeah. There's patty spots everywhere. No, I'm so, you don't understand how spiritually ready I am for Jamaica. I mean, Garfield's Jamaican and goes like five times a year. I'm like, I'm coming with you. We're going as a family.

It's the next trip. Don't worry. I'm all over it. I love that. I think that really says why me and you do miss me together. You said the Blue Mountains of Jamaica and I said the four seasons in Beverly Hills. And where we meet, somewhere in the middle is Miss Me.

Yeah, I think that really says it all. Thank you for restaurants. That was great questions. I knew restaurants would be good. Yeah, fair enough. Well, bye forever. I don't want to hear from you. And I mean you, team.

I want to hear from any fucking last one of you. We won't. Forget you know my number. Forget you know my name. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, of course. I'll see in a couple weeks, Keith. I'll literally probably call you tomorrow.

Hi. Why don't you miss me? Yeah. No, good luck. It's our beautiful Zowie's coming back. And then a surprise. There's a mystery. And a mystery.

I'm thinking two-hour monologue from me. Specifically, specifically for the listeners. who still miss Lily, is just me talking for two hours. And I'm only going to talk, I'm only going to talk about football. So stop it, because you're making me never want to take a break. Like, stop. Jordan's football monologue. Yeah.

To into, I'm only, I'm going to talk about football. What other things do guys talk about? No, seriously, yeah, football sex and fucking tits. Okay, firstly, I wish men talk about sex. Secondly, like, in like an interesting. thing like and secondly i do think oh no i was actually going to say i think we should do games for a listen bit whoever your mystery not gaming gaming with headsets on bro we can talk about games with headsets on bro games could be that kind of gaming but also the games we play with each other

etc and then like you know the you know the history of board games like par cheesy actually don't do that without me par cheesie i want to do that what the fuck is happening it's just an old parlor game, Jordan. It's not a big deal. All right, well, good luck out there. Look after our baby well. Look after our child well while I'm away. The mystery guest is Gareth Southbair. Okay.

You're actually into that. I would say you were like, wait, no, I want that. Thank you for a wonderful year of Miss Me and I will see you when we are back to school in September. Keeps, man. You're going away for a few weeks so deep. Fuck me, man. I'm a co-eering,

two hours just let's get it's keep this end this shit you're going to Cornwall you know you're talking like going to the fucking yeah I'm actually mostly staying at home yeah this joke is a joke end this now end this and this and this now farewell everyone farewell I'll see in two weeks thanks for listening to miss me this is a Persefonica show