Miss Me? - Listen Bitch! Is This Cultural Terrorism?

Episode Date: July 6, 2026

Miquita Oliver and Jordan Stephens answer your questions about stag and hen do’s.Producer: Natalie JamiesonTechnical Producer: Danny Pape Assistant Producer: Caillin McDaid Video Editor: Danny PapeProduction Coordinator: Tom JacksonExecutive Producers: Ellie Clifford & Dino SofosMiss Me? is a Persephonica show Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

35% of men. Cheat. We're unfaithful on their Stag weekend. That's actually insane. Cultural terrorism is cracking out. I'm going to think about that all week. That is, it is, staggered Hindus are potentially cultural terrorism. Jordan, we're getting married.

What are we going to do? I'm into the, is it a stent? Yes, okay, be careful with that. Because we'd surprise Theo and Sasha by bringing them together at one big lunch, and they weren't that pleased to see each other. I do the vow. It's really emotional, it's lovely. We walk out and then someone else walks in and goes,

all of these doors are locked. Both families have to work together to get out of one of the biggest escape rooms in the world. Now it's Chorda's wedding. Hello everybody, hello, wild. Welcome to your favourite place. It's time for listen, bitch. Oh yes, we've got you. Finally, T4 Keats is back.

Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, I suppose so. Yeah, all right, I'll give you a bit of T4 today. Can I just say, like, we're doing stags and hens, yeah. I've maybe been on, like, three stags my whole life, and I'm wondering if I have friends. The theme for this week's little bitch is Jordan's loneliness. No, stagin' heads.

Stagin' ends. It is the season. And look, I brought with us my favourite cup, which says, a dash of magic. I thought stag and hendos could do with a bit of magic. That's very live, laugh, love. No, it's not. You're on the edge of that cup.

This is basically an Erica Badoo voodoo mug. I'm just not sure about that. It's the word magic, not woo-woo. Those cunts aren't taking magic from me. It's not the magic that's being taken. It's the fact that it's on a cup. Oh, got you. And it just says a dash of magic.

I like a dash of magic. It's something a wizard would say, God, they've just taken it. They've taken it. I'm drinking. Wizard tea, bitch. Yeah, I'm drinking wizard tea, bitch. This is wizard tea. Drinking that magic brew, motherfucker.

So, the theme is Stag and Hendo's. I've been to a few. Went to Ellie's, my, who I work with, who's next door. Let's get some more of those beautiful stories. Let's have the first question for this week's listen bitch. The theme is Stagg and Hendo's. This is Hannah. I'm from Macclesfield, but I live in Houston.

I have a really bizarre question. I'm 35. I've been on a few. in my time. However, how do you deal with a person who is in the hen party or stag party who isn't the bride or groom that has very much main character energy and likes to steal the limelight? We've had that experience in the past in our friendship group that there's one person that continues to be the centre of attention, main character, even when it's not their turn. So how do you know how do you know?

navigate that on a hendoo or a stag do when they have to be invited. This is the issue with stag and hens. There's a lot of hierarchy. So there's like the people that like really helped organize it. And they like to tell you about that a lot. And they're the people who probably make the group that you have to be in. And there's a lot of orders, you know, you know, we're doing this for blah, blah, at this time.

Because she likes this, we're going to do this. And that person is usually worked their ass off to make said hen or stag really expect. special for their best friend. So I imagine when it comes to it, they want people to know that they were a big part of it, which is fine. But with all the other shit that's going on in a hen, like, I just feel like they're so political. How to navigate that would be the general navigation of a hen, which is like, just let people get on with it, because people are mad in this arena. I don't know why. I don't know why it makes people so loopy loop. I'd say booze is a pretty big part. of the stag and hen experience. So have you been to a hen before where just one of the girls there are trying to steal the line like from the bride to be?

God forbid. Yeah, but it's usually in the form I've seen it takes shape is because I'm the best friend, because I'm the closest, because we've been through so much. I feel like there's when someone's getting married, they're trying to flex on people. They become like the famous person

that people want to be in. or in the same way even with like death. When someone died, people are like, I know I really knew them. You know, it's a way of feeling more connected to the process of whatever's going on, whether that be a wedding or a funeral. That's really interesting.

But I don't know how to handle these people. Sorry, I don't have advice for that, apart from just like, let them get on with it. Because with it, hens can be so stressful. You just have to take it all with a pinch of salt and a dash of magic, as my cup says. You know what? I just don't have an answer. I'm so sorry.

I wish I was more in the know. And also, like I say, I think sometimes I do miss these bits now because I'm just like not really on getting drunk for four days, whatever people do. But also, why hen? That's going to be a question, I reckon. Why hen, why stag? Let me look it up now. Can we have the next question, please?

Hi, Jordan and Makita. My name's Caitlin. I'm from New Zealand, but I moved to London about a year ago. On the topic of hens and stag parties, it seems that there's the standard that people enjoy roasting their friends rather than celebrating the love they've been fortunate enough to find, which I find quite odd. I had a friend that came out of a train station once early in the morning, and he said there was a guy handcuffed to a pole in his boxes, wasted, asking for help, and he had mentioned it was

his stag as if that would make it any less weird. And then also recently a guy at my work said he was going to a stag in Ibiza, and that they'd hired a person with dwarfism to handcuff to their friend for the day, which I was blown away. didn't even know there was a market for this kind of thing or that's the level that's been taken to what your experiences with a stag or hens party are have you been to any that are more enjoyable and a bit more normal and secondly where do you guys think that this has come from like why has society accepted this notion that it's normal to humiliate your friends rather than just celebrating each other yeah yeah yeah it's just fucking out i've not

experienced that level of crazy. But it's a lawless world, the head and stag. I suppose what you're saying, Caitlin, is there has been this shift, which is now kind of cemented, which is about humiliation rather than celebration. I don't know whether so much with women. Feels like hens are more, I don't know the right word, but I do hear more kind of humiliate the groom. I suppose traditionally at a wedding, the best man humiliates the groom with terrible stories about him,

like sleeping with sheep. I mean, this is like a joke in four weddings and a funeral. That's how cemented this idea is. So I really don't know what that's about, but it really is making me think of don't tell the bride a lot. And the main objective is to get as fucked up as possible. Yeah, it's like a hazing. On masks. Yeah, it's like a hazing.

You're so right. And I suppose there's a part of it that must be historically like, you're going to be whipped now by your wife or like some sort of like... I guess it's like some odd contorted, like mutated Western version of like a rite of passage, like an initiation ceremony, you know, where it's like... Yeah, an initiation. Yeah. I guess there's this idea that you're entering into a new phase of life which requires growth,

except how we think people can get the growth is through like being in so much, like being so dehydrated and confused that. Yes, wrecked and humiliated. Is it possible for them to not be a better person afterwards? Yeah. But I mean, what are you learning about growth to be handcuffed to someone who has dwarfism for the day? What is the lesson in that fucking exercise?

Let me talk about the kind of things historically people did because I think we should do this instead of that. So in ancient Greece, the day before marriage was known as the, Ooh, proolia, prolia. The bride, along with her mother and other women, would make offerings and sacrifices to appease the gods who might see fit to ruin the day. Especially Artemis, fucking Artemis.

Goddess of chastity and childbirth, obviously. Classic Artemis. And then similarly, the old Scottish customer feet washing, a symbolic cleansing of the bride by her female friends. That's really cool. That would be nice. Hang on, this is nuts. Victorian-era stag parties.

Oh my God, I wonder what they are like. Involved activities such as, see, this is civilized, fishing, oyster suppers, magic trick shows dressing up in costume. That's nice. And in the 16th century in America, they would have a sleigh ride, a supper and a general good time. So I do believe that we've, you know, the modern world has turned this into more of an opportunity for humiliation. It might not even be the modern world. It might actually just be Britain.

I throw out there. It might just be Britain and booze. I'm really worried it's just Britain and booze. Nah, they must get fucked up in like on German stags as well. Yeah, German, I feel like maybe. And also I imagine do the humiliating stuff as well. But do you know what there might be a little element of, Jay? I feel like there might be a tiny element of punishment.

That is a big part of that. That's what I said about rites of passage is like if you were to remove the like alcohol or da-da-da-da-da. there are, you know, there are tribal ceremonies that involve, you know, a person going through a short amount of pain in order to go forward, you know, like getting done, getting stung by a bullet ant or something. Yes. And just having to firm it. I understand that, but I feel like maybe historically, emotionally, it's not even historically, sorry, it has historically changed from something that was a nice supper, an oyster supper and a sleigh ride.

Which just sounds great. Into punishment for like leaving your friends in a way, like leaving the male to go to the woman life, female part of your life. Something, there's something there. Maybe I've just watched too much, don't tell the bride. There's also a big debate about cheating on the stags here, which is quite interesting.

Oh yeah, and of course, the whole idea that you should like have your last night of... Have one last blowout. Have one last blow out and totally cheat on your soon-to-be wife. like, what? Also, vice versa, I'm sure, but not as much. Yeah, but can you imagine, the energy, can you imagine how you'd feel walking up the aisle, standing there when you know you fuck someone?

It's men that are mostly admitting it. 35% of men. 35% of men. Cheat. I've said that they, a bit were unfaithful on their stag weekend. It's actually insane. A third of men. No, but listen, I think this chaos is almost specific to British stags.

I think it might be European. I think this binge drinking, fancy dress. When I typed in European, mostly it's about the European destinations cracking down on British stags. Oh my God. It's about more like Spain trying to keep us fucking out. Out, yeah.

Oh my God. Participants on Reddit share tales ranging from hilarious pub golf and embarrassing costumes to out-of-control barcrawls. Is the hangover about a stag? The film? That's American. Yeah, it is. It is.

I nearly used that. That's my story to call it out. All right, let's have another question for Staginans. Hi, Jordan and Makita. Hope you're both good. Love the podcast. Love you both. Love listening every single week. I'm Miranda calling from South London. So I have many, many thoughts and feelings about Stags and Hens. I just organised my best friends, Hendu. Her partner's Stag Do is this weekend. And it's just so kind of evident. from like the different approaches between like the female group and the male group like how kind of peak heteronormativity and gender binary like just such a magnifying glass on those dynamics.

I myself, I'm engaged. It's something that I've thought about a lot in terms of like the social pressure of like having like lots of disparate friend groups come together and there's all these expectations about what a hen do or hen weekend is going to be. So I don't really know what I'm would want for myself. If you guys were getting married, what would you want, would you want a stag do? Would you want a hen do? And like, what would your ideal stag or hen be?

Oh, God, I love this question. Jordan, we're getting married. What are we going to do? I'm into the, is it a sten? Yes, okay, be careful with that. Because we did it with Theo and Sasha, and it was a fucking disaster. I mean, their solo was good.

There was like five of us with Sasha, and then 25 of them with Theo, Alfi, Lily's brother Alfie, as Theo's best friend, my cousin Theo's best friend. And he was very sweet and went all out and hired this fucking massive 20 bedroom house that looked like a porn director had built it. That Game of Thrones money, baby. Let's go. That's right. Thank you, Game of Thrones.

So true. And then there was like literally 25 of them. No, no. And they were there for two weeks, two months. too much. That's insane. Who needs a two week stag?

Two weeks. Two much. And they had like this lady Miner called Terry was the organiser of it and she was like every day had an itinery. They were going out

and getting fucked every single night. We did four days on our hen version. I was so tired and obviously I hate Ibitha. I love Ibitha. Then we surprised

Theo and Sasha by bringing them together at one big lunch and they weren't that pleased to see each other. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That is actually funny. We were like, oh right.

Oh, for fuck sake. She was like, I don't want to see him and his mates on my hand. I was like, oh. And then all the boys were like, why are you not here? The only reason I ask is I just like buy these traditional boundaries. I just couldn't have one because I've got probably more girlfriends than, or female friends than male friends. Hey man, we can we can, we can, what's the word? We can design our own lives.

No, but I'm just like, how would that work? I just don't live like that. I don't live within that gendered. Like, that's what's so mad to me is like that it's separated by gender. Like, only my male friends. Like, what? It doesn't make any sense. Yeah, right.

But that's what I'm saying. We're designing our own lives. Miranda's in South London, figuring out what she wants to do, realizing that from her quite gender biased experience of organizing her friends' hen and seeing what her friend's fiance's status. bag looks like, that's not for her, Jordan. Jordan, that's just not for her. So what she's saying is you could do whatever you want.

So you can have girls and boys there. No, I know, I know. Because I'd have Seb on my... Yeah, you would. You would have Seb. Zeb, Grimmie and Jesse. They're like three of my best friends. It would be weird if I'm there. And what would I do? What would I do?

Okay. Oh my God. I might want to do like an architectural tour of Italy. Nice. I like it. I really want to see the dome. Well, because this is actually nearby. Yeah, people go away. They go away for their hens now, and I do resent it.

So actually, I'll bring it back, and I might want to do, like, I don't know, maybe some hill walking in the Lake District. I'd go to a mountainous region with 10 of my favorite people, hill walk, and then stay in a very, very high-end luxury hotel, and we would do two days, two nights, and then we're out. That's my dream hen. I can't comment on what my stenn would be, or like, sorry, what my non-gendered staggered stagger be because I just like, I'd need my girls there too. Like, I'd need them there too. Also, I'm sober, so I'm not really trying to do anything too crazy. I mean, maybe we could, also I'm like my own version.

I'm my own version of sober. You could go hand gliding. Yeah, yeah, you could do loads of cool shit. We could, you know, but I can tell you what I would do for the wedding ceremony if you want to know. Yes. Tell me about your wedding. So what would happen is, it seemed, some would say,

suspiciously normal for me, right? They'd be there like, this is very... It's a bit tradition. Conventional from Jordan. This is like bizarre, right? So everything's normal. Even have like a religious fucker doing the thing. Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What you mean is you'd have a church wedding with a priest. Yeah, church wedding. Like, honestly, no, no, but this is part of it, Keith. But those who know me are going, this, something's not right? Right? This is really important. They're like, this is not, Jordan's in a black suit, like, like, tuit, black suit back tight.

Like it's not, this is too normal, right? And then we'll do the vows, everything, it's really emotional, it's so lovely. We walk out and then someone else walks in and goes, all of these doors are locked. The first clue is under one of your seats. You have one hour. And then both families have to work together

to get out of one of the biggest escape rooms in the world. Escape rooms in the world. That's actually fucking amazing. Like they literally go. You've got a... Maybe I'll give them two hours. And then you'd be like, oh, now it's short and sweated.

And they go, we've been duped here. We've been duped. Fucking hell. And I'm actually watching it on video and I'm giving them clues. No, but I can actually see like Emma and Garfield coming together to be like, right, how the fuck do we get out of this room? Yeah, everyone else is going, this is a joke. And Emma and Garfield like, no, this is fucking serious.

Let's get this done now. Yeah, let's get this done now. Well, mine's a little bit more traditional Grove. You should have it in the middle of the road. You should have it in Portobello Market on a Sunday. That's what a tourist would do

if you're from Labrard Grove. You should get one of the fruit stall dons to just, just, do you know, I married my neighbours? No. I went to my neighbours' house, Cormac, who you'd call me horsebox. That's what you call me Irish guy. And I went over

because I was going to the wedding, right? It was Electro Works in Islington, which is an amazing venue for a wedding. Wow. Okay. It was proper sick. But they had already got married, yeah. Like, they had already registered. So they had just a ceremony and they had a guy who was the father or the vicar, whatever the fuck.

And I've come in, I've gone around to ask him for a beer and he's panicking, right? He's panicking. Oh, my God. Oh, dude. What's going on? He was like, oh, I can't do the Irish accent. The father, the vicar, he's dropped out. I don't, I just never, you know.

And I was like, okay. Well, he said, oh, the beer's in a fridge. You know, I was like, all right. So I went and got a beer. And as I left, I went, well, you know, if you need any one. And he went, oh, okay. And I shut the door, went into mine, drunk myself to sleep. Woke up the next morning at like 11 a.m. or like 12.

And I opened the front door. And there was a letter, gaffer taped to my door. And I opened it and it went, the ceremony starts at 2.30. These are the vows. Did you not have to at least do that internet course thing where they like ordain you? No, they'd already been registered. No, you, motherfucker. No, they had already registered.

They'd already gone and done it officially. A lot of people do this. They go and get married officially and then they have the ceremony another time. So you're not actually required. Like mum when she married Flynn and Bobby Joel. Right, yeah. Right, got it. Because my mum ain't no priest.

But the funny thing was Gemma, who, who Cormac was marrying, who was my name, but obviously, she didn't know. So suddenly you were there? She walked down the aisle and bust up laughing. And it was actually surreal. And I did it. I married them and all of the Irish family thought I was an ordained priest. Wow.

What? Wow. That's some fucking good acting. Yeah, it's pretty nuts. I was acting. I was fucking freestyle. I was also fucking hung over to shit. But it was amazing and life is crazy.

Wow. Jordan is available to marry you if you want then. Yeah. Let's have another question. It's Staggin'Hen time. Hi, Makita, hi Jordan. It's Sarah from Sunny Birmingham. So I will caveat this with the fact that I am not married. I am, however, in a long-term relationship. And I was just thinking about Staggin-Hendos and about them being touted as the last night of freedom. And I was wondering whether this is actually quite an unhealthy way of looking at marriage, because it's

Because if that is your last night of freedom, then what does that imply about a marriage? Just wondered what you thought. Bye. Well, I think this ties into our monogamy chat that we're desperate to have that the world is just pushing us to have, children. Listen, I am in total agreement with that being a ridiculous

and damning indictment on what I think a matter. Well, actually, the first issue is that marriage wasn't ever romantic. It was romanticized, right? Oh, that's good. No, no, no, that is true. Like, the initial union of marriages is purely for like the power. It's like the merging of families. It's the sharing of assets.

It's like the protection of lineage. It's like there's nothing romantic about it. I wonder when we romanticized it. When did it start being like? No, the romantic. That was a movement. The romantics. What era?

Like 17th century maybe. Hold on. Let me have a look. That's my kind of time. Oh my God, I was actually right. Oh no, I wasn't right. 18th century. Sorry, 1700s.

Late 18th century. 18th century to mid-19th century. What did they do? The romantic period emerged as a direct reaction against the scientific rationality of the Enlightenment, which is fair, to be honest. So basically, Descartes had just solidified, like, the scientific method. So it started to introduce the idea that you could objectively prove things, and that would be da-da-da-da-da, which in some spaces was really great for the progression of technology. But then I would also agree with the romantics on this point, very spiritually, like, impoverished.

So the romantics are pushing against it. But you could then argue the romantics themselves have gone too far because because then you are, you're making the irrational, literally irrational decisions based on a fantasy. That's what some people would say. So like, you know, if you romanticize a person and a relationship, you're falling in love with a fantasy. You're not necessarily the person itself. And with marriage, like we have romanticized it.

But then I would argue that there's an objective truth of marriage. which burdens way more responsibility. Like someone said the other day, I can't remember who it was, I wish I could quote them, but they said, it's backwards how we have it. It should be hard to get married

and easy to get divorced, right? But it's easy to get married and hard to get divorced, which is silly. And like, so, and we have created it is like, this is day of love, which is lovely, weddings are great.

But ultimately, it is just a contract. There's no reason why you can't celebrate love without there being a contract, without being under the whatever of God. Like, it's just, the holy matrimony that's a big religious thing so and then yeah to talk to her point this is this idea that well especially like you know regressive kind of male ideas is that it's like you're trap now you know and that you can't get out of this thing even though it was men who actually

kind of created it so it's it's um it's bizarre the whole thing's bizarre i absolutely love doing a podcast with you sorry a show it's not a podcast it's a show but like i don't know anything about that yeah I loved that. Thank you for opening my mind up to that. I might go really deep into the Romantics this afternoon. You should look into the romantics. It's very interesting. Interesting time in the world.

Wow. But also, Bob Streisand says in The Mirror House two faces, I would love to be married. And her friend goes, what's marriage anyway? A contract? And she says, no, it's when I would really like to experience what it would be like if someone really, really knew me, knew what kind of this I liked,

what kind of that I liked. I think that could be very wonderful. Some people don't think it takes marriage to be really known and some people do. And I think I want to experience marriage because I do think it does take that decision to speak it in front of the people that you love for me in the area you grew up in and say,

I love this person and we're going to try and share our lives together. I do believe that there are energies that transcend all of the nitty-gritty about religion and whatever. Like there is just like being committed or like make vowing, like vowing generally. Vowing is deep. Vowing is deep. Yes.

Yes. Word is bond. You know I'm saying? Like that is deep. And the circle, like the idea of a ring like like being significant, the signification of like eternity. Like I do, there are elements of it that I do appreciate. I also think that, you know, there are things that could be updated for sure.

God. Yeah. But now I just really, really, really, really want to get mad. That just made me really into it even more like, oh, yes, eternity. Yeah, eternity's dope, but you have to remember, we have to move away from, like, the ownership, right? Like, but like, like, back in the day, genuinely, the men were bartering about what to swap the woman for. Yeah, big time. Like, that's why it's called your dad's giving you away, right?

Yes, yes. It's fucked up. Yeah. And I've actually been to, I actually went to a Christian wedding once where they literally made a joke about when he was going to give him the sheep. Oh, my God. God. Yeah. I think with your mum or with other people,

we understand obviously how beautiful it is to celebrate love, but there is just, there is, it's hard to escape the energy that sits beneath it, which is that like, yes, maybe men are making it like, oh,

we're trapped, but really, is it the men who are trapped, like the whole concept of this, you've got a ring on, so your mind now. Yes, I don't know,

all that kind of stuff just makes me go of it. Yes, but I do think that goes both ways. And also in same-sex marriages, I think there is this idea of like, It's not ownership. It's a belonging. Belonging's dope. And listen, like, you can certainly find freedom within a marriage. That's a nice sort of cool concept.

Do you know what as well? I think we should also not, never, never forget childhood trauma. And I was talking to mum about, I said, I were doing stag and hens and we were talking about weddings. And I said, what is it that makes you feel so against marriage? And she was like, again, you know, she said, I came from a place in Suffolk in the 70s where the only thing, every girl in my class wanted to be was engaged. And my mom was like, fuck that for a laugh. I want to go and do things. Yeah.

It's made it like the highest point. Yeah, but I was like, I know that answer in my head. I was like, cool, cool, cool. And then I left a bit of silence and my mom said, also, Nanny and Granddad John had a horrible marriage. Yeah. And I remembered that my mom grew up in a really bad marriage. My granddad John left my grandma, thank God, and started another family and got married

very quickly. So I think the idea of what marriage meant in my mom's head probably meant it meant very little. And actually it did feel like a... I would say that's the majority of cases. Yeah, man. What did you see when you were young? But that's why I love Nana and Cameron because they're such...

Their marriage is like buddies. That can happen too. That can happen too. I was also with Martine Rose. Fuck, I love her. Have you ever met her? The designer. Yeah.

The designer that Kendrick was rocking in that video. Yeah, actually. Yeah, Martin's... You're amazing Martin Rose. Sort me out. Yeah, she's friends with the family now. I want one of her tracksuits. Yeah, I know, in it?

I mean, her clothes are fly. The fuck is happening. Garfield met her at Jamie Winston's wedding. And her boyfriend, Darren, is like an old-school raver. And him and Garfield are like this now. And their relationship is quite interesting because they were at Mum's party at the weekend. And they've been together a long time, I think, like 20 years plus.

And they have two kids that are about 10 and 9 who are beautiful kids. And they were giggling. like cracking each other up in the corner for about an hour and I was like, oh, I love your relationship. Yeah, it's great. Sorry, we've gone way past stag and hen do so now. Shall we have a final question for this week's listen, bitch? Hi, both really love the podcast.

I don't usually like send a message in for things like this, but when I saw the topic was stags and hens, I just think that they are only a force for evil in society. with stags you've got like oh British sorry the Irish boys coming through there but it's just like a bunch of men

in like a facade of hypermasculinity usually there's like some homophobia and transphobia mixed in where like the groom for some reason has a wig on or a dress and like all the other lads are like in something else or like a Hindu

where it's just like an act of cultural terrorism on some gay club that they've presented upon. Cultural terrorism is crazy. I don't think they're good and I also just don't really understand why they exist. Don't you love the person you're getting married to? Why don't you want to party with them? I just don't get them. Hey, listen, call of the week. Well, either way, I think that's your new best friend, yeah. Listen, cultural terrorism is hilarious. The mad thing is

Yeah, the mad thing is, we can't even necessarily just do all hen parties like that. But I will be honest, the second he said that, I had the most vivid image of those women going to a gay club. I know, true saying. There's got to be a point at which you're going, this is like very, like, it's very hetero-infectious. Yeah, like, you're coming into my queer space. Yeah. With a fucking, like, mismarried fucking bouquet on or whatever the fuck they wear, those sachets. And a willie straw in your hair.

And a willy straw. Like, cultural terrorism is cracking. I'm going to think about that all week. That is, it is, stag and hendos are potentially cultural terrorism. The thing is, there's an in between here, right? We can't be in such a politically correct culture that we don't understand that people are going to do and say wrong things. I really don't like purity culture.

But he is making the point that people can utilize stags to just basically do like pretty offensive shit and just be like, well, it's my stag, woo-hoo, you know, and he's kind of saying. Yeah, but you know what? more the fool the naked dickhead handcuffed to a railing in Tottenham Court Road at seven in the morning like, there's my stag. It's like, okay, it's your fucking stag then. Yeah, but I'm with him. I'm with the guy. Like, that's what I think. I'd rather just be like, are we all just mates? Like, what are we even? Why are we going into groups and tribes like a year seven disco? And secondly, like what? But I like that tribal element. Why? Why? I don't get it.

Because what is really beautiful is this idea of who are all the people like, I've loved in my whole life as I embark on this huge new chapter. And it is like a time where your new friends meet your old friends and your school friends meet your work friends. Like that is a really beautiful part of it. What stag are you got? I thought I didn't feel, I thought Staggs were smaller groups of people. I thought that was the point.

I thought like it's quite handpicked. No, it's more like handpicked people from your whole life. You're not going to just have, I mean, I wouldn't, I wouldn't know, but I feel like if you're going to have a staggle hen, like Ellie's hen, for instance, that I didn't go to because I was working. But it was like work people, but then it was like all her friends from Cornwall that she's grown up with. Not all of everyone knew each other. It's usually where like your like the things in your whole life come together, like a wedding, but more handpicked. And so there is quite a nice feeling of, this is the thing. I love rights of passage. Can we actually put it on

listen, bitch? I did try and do it with Lil time ago. Rights of passage is a great one. And I just think they're brilliant and exciting. Yeah, but if you're really about this right of passage to life, you'd all just sit down and do a mushroom ceremony, do you know what I mean? I'm ready to do a mushroom ceremony, thank you very much. That would be a great stent. Amsterdam, big circle, 25 people, guided mushroom trip, giggles after loads of chocolate.

Okay, well then I might bring a little, like... And then a mass cycle ride. Do you know where I'd really like to go from my head then if we're going to do that? I'd like to go back to the Rastafarian camp in Antigua, where we filmed. And I really made some great friends there. And there was a Nia bingi ceremony, fucking heartbeat drums, like, ja, Rastafari. I think that's where I'd want to go. I know someone who just did a hen with one person.

Oh, that's nice. Did they have a good time? Where did they go? Marrakesh. I think what we're saying is you can design your own life. That's what we've really learned on today's episode about Stag and Hendo's. We didn't find out why it's a stag and why it's a hen. We will now.

Don't need to ask me twice. I mean, the hen feels kind of obvious. A stag is that just like a thing like, yeah, I've got big antlers. Yeah, it's like the idea of a stag party taps into this symbolism of a stag being a male deer, often associated with strength, pride and leadership. The groom, like the stag, is at the centre of the celebration surrounded by his group as he prepares to enter a new phase of his life. Okay, so what about a hen then? Is a hen there a signification of leadership?

No, we're a submissive little chicken. The hen as a symbol represents femininity in group gatherings, but why is it called, why hen? Representing femininity? Well, yes, here we go. The 19th century, but even earlier, the 1620s when the word hen was used as slang for a woman. The image of busy clucking hens, feather fluffing, broody and preening is all too easy to conjure. From Scottish slang. Yeah, fair.

Because duh, you're right, it is British, stagging hen, because in America it's the bachelor party and the bachelorette, which make a hell of a lot of sense. Oh, yeah. We've decided to personify it with animal terminology. I mean, I'm into the animal thing, but I just, yeah. It's very arse. But like, again, yeah, I don't know, it's funny,

because you're into tradition, aren't you? And it's like, from my perspective, I look at traditional things and just be like, I just think we're, it's just confirmation that we are just absurd as a species. Says the man who is going to lock the church and turn it into the greatest escape room that ever existed. Have you ever heard of that before? In response to traditionality.

You've proved my point, exactly. I want to throw a grenade into the concept of it. I'll be like, oh, you think I'm doing tradition? Say less. I'll see you in an hour. You think I'm doing tradition, bitch? Good luck. And by the way, if you don't get it out,

if you don't get out, I'm not helping you, boss. Can't wait. I can't wait for my invite, darling. Can't wait. Jordan's getting around and I'll be like, I'm not going to that. Yeah, facts. I mean just like, you know,

stag and hens, sure, okay. And then you've got like, there's just like so many things. Like, for example, even when I watch Prime Minister's questions, part of me is like, why are these people just grunting at each other? Like, is it not weird

that we've just normalized so many things where we're just like... No, that is crazy. If, yeah, if you watch... Yeah, if you watch any kind of like lengthy moment in the houses of parliament when everyone's doing their debates

and their speeches. It's bizarre. It is so bizarre. Like, oh, yeah, yeah. And then also magistrates, why are they wearing that wig? No, we've talked about that.

And I told you that costume is an important part of people entering an important zone where certain things matter. Otherwise, it's just a guy with a stick or whatever it's called hitting a table. A gavel.

A gavel. Without the wig, it's just a guy hitting a wood. table top with a gavel. Yeah, I'm fine with that. These things are important. The wig isn't what makes me believe whether or not their sentence is fair. I'm not like, well, that was insane, but he is wearing the wig.

Don't you think it's insane that after however many years, we still decide people's fate on 10 people or 12 people that've never met them, just listening to evidence and deciding? No, I think a jury is nearly the most sane part of it. I disagree. I'd rather rely detector. Okay, well, famously I'm reliable, but yeah, I, I, you could argue that the jury could be, like, professionals. They could be people who, like, know things.

They can't just be, like, easily swayed by things like, you know, racism or whatever. I told you Kelly did jury duty. But communal council vibe thing, using your community to come to decisions, that in itself is ancient and I love that. Yeah, I suppose that is quite good. But I mean more, why is he wearing a wig? Like, I'm just saying, like, what, we just accept some. things. Of course we do. That is the

incredible part of tradition. There's a Tyler the creative lyric which is just really dismissive. It's very funny. It better have something to do with stag and hens as we end this journey through the stag and hendos of our time. Yeah, because it's traditional so I'm going to end it with it. Go on then. Give a fuck about tradition, stop impressing the dead. Oh, I

disagree, Tyler. I disagree. I say lean into tradition and speak to your ancestors. Listen, I fuck with my ancestors hard. Shout out of my ancestors. My allies and ancestors. of you forever. Shout out to my ancestors. Shout out my ancestors each and every day. Big them up. Yeah. Anyone who's come before me. Mass respect. Some of my ancestors hadn't had to deal

with getting charged five pound an hour to park in central London. So it's like some things have to change. We're now too far from Staggin' Hens. I'm shutting you down. Jordan, thank you so much. It's been great today. It's been a really good time with you. Love you. I feel like we've been on about five different Staggin' Enddos and we now know what our weddings are going to look like, which is great. This is just great news for everyone. We will see you next week for Listen, Bitch, and we're, this is working quite well. There's us telling you on the internet, so we'll do that again. Let us know if you missed the other way. To the Miss Me gang, listening, I would just say if they could make a concerted effort to hit up our YouTube videos, that's what I'm saying.

Just a concerted effort, because I love YouTube more than life. And it would just make me very happy for us in this new form to be able to really bring a community to YouTube. That's what I'm saying. So I'm saying, I'm done now, and TikTok. Never forget. We're on the internet. Miss me dot forever.

We'll see you there. See ya. Thanks for listening to Miss Me. This is a Persephoneica show.