Miss Me? - Listen Bitch! It gets tingly

Episode Date: September 22, 2025

Jordan Stephens and Miquita Oliver answer your questions about blowjobs.Next week, we want to hear your questions about VILLAINS. Please send us a voice note on WhatsApp: [phone]. Or, if you like, send us an email: [e-mail] episode contains very strong language, discussions of a sexual nature and adult themes throughout. Credits: Producer: Natalie Jamieson Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Assistant Producer: Caillin McDaid Production Coordinator: Rose Wilcox Executive Producer: Dino Sofos Assistant Commissioner for BBC: Lorraine Okuefuna Commissioning Editor for BBC: Dylan Haskins Miss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

The following episode may contain strong language, adult themes and themes of a sexual nature, which I thought was the same thing. McQuady, Olivia. I've been told what the topic is of this week and it's absolutely phenomenal. You thought I was going to say ridiculous, but who doesn't love blowjubs? Well, who doesn't? And who doesn't engage in them in some way?

Not many people. Well, not many. Some people will reluctantly engage, you know. I think whether it's, you know, flatmates or potatoes. Flatmates? I feel like there's just certain things. These are past listen, bitch.

subjects. Oh, sorry. I thought you're talking about blowjums. There are certain jealousy or ambition. There are things that occur in daily life that everybody does that no one talks about. I understand. Yes. So that's all this is.

That's all this is. And when I talked about it with you earlier in the week and we had a private chat about blow jobs. That never happened. Obviously not. When we were talking about early in the week in the editorial call, you said, I get it. You mean blowjobs are just in the atmosphere. They're in the world.

And I was like, in it. Foreplay generally should be spoken about more. Foreplay is brilliant. Both sides. Foreplay dates back to the 1920s. That's when it was popularised in the media. What, for play? Yes.

Makita, people have been sucking each other off and licking each other off since the dawn of time. Correct. Someone else did there. Someone else did that research. And you know what, Keats, I was at first reluctant and, and, well, not reluctant, sorry, I was at first apprehensive.

but I'm actually entirely with you we should be open about the fact that people like licking and sucking each other That's right! Why are we here? Duh! What's the point? Let's up our first question for this week's Listen, bitch, the theme is blowjobs. My name's Demi.

I'm from Australia, South Australia specifically in a small little coastal town called Victor Harbour. Just want to say I love the podcast. I know everyone says that, but it's just so true. It's got me through so much stuff. Anyway, on the topic of blowjobs, I actually love giving a blow job.

I think there's nothing more powerful than dating a guy and having his dick in your mouth. Like, I just feel like it's so empowering. And I know some of my friends agree and some of my friends disagree. So I just want to know where you guys stand on it. Come back to hear your answer. Okay, thanks. Bye. Yeah, I really agree.

And this is why I'm so happy. happy to talk about it with a boy. I really agree. I think there is something quite powerful about the act of giving someone that you really fancy a blowjob when you really want to do it. It does feel quite powerful in a way that a lot of sex doesn't, especially like the missionary position, can quite often, you can feel quite vulnerable and not like the powerful person in that position.

There are so many times, Jordan, so many circumstances during the sexual intercourse act, well you don't feel powerful and there is something about giving head i think that does make you feel powerful and it feels kind of like um an anomaly in sex sometimes i do find it interesting that growing up or being socialized as a you know like catch a sexual man sometimes it's like it i felt that there was an energy of especially when i was younger that it was the man was the powerful one in that situation like you've got somebody giving you head. head sucking your dick and I get I remember actually having that thought when I was younger being like they do have the teeth around your penis like that like that's right can bite it off

like it is actually quite a vulnerable position to be in you're you're almost entirely reliant on the affection of the person engaging in that and I feel that in reverse that's not that's one of the things I immediately enjoyed about giving head myself was the fact that you're providing pleasure you're you're you're you're you're you're you're gifting somebody the the experience of you know relaxation and and transcendental pleasure yeah yeah you're just just just like a weightlessness absolutely I don't think there's anything more fun than feeling like you've given someone such a good time but it has to be the emphasis on the caller's like enthusiasm because it can be quite the opposite of course

being the receiver of somebody who's not doing it for that reason, who's not engaging with it on the basis of like, I enjoy this. I want to put your penis in my mouth. Absolutely. I think that's what I mean. You have to be, like everything in sex,

that you both have to be in it and want to be, you know, engaged in the act that is happening at that time. But I do think that there is a lot for women to do. It's not just up and down. It's like a lot of like multitasking within, the act of giving a blowjob,

giving head. Yes, for it to be good, yeah. I know that you guys, yeah, for it to be good, I actually don't think, and this is quite a big thing to say, I don't think it's the same on the other side. I think you have less to contend with.

What? As it were. That is a controversial take. Yeah, man, because like we've got, actually, well, there is someone that says this better than me and she's called Samantha from a show called Sex and the City. Samantha said this like, what,

20 years ago, talking about blowjobs and giving head and like, you know, you've got to learn as a girl. We've got to learn, I'm not a girl, but as someone that wants to give someone else's head. You have to learn how to do this. It is a job and it is true. Yeah, I'm confused though. You think

that's not the same the other way around. You don't have to breathe through your noses in the same way. Okay, Miquita, I'm being dead ass right now. Yeah. No, no, I hear that. I hear that. But but look, but I'm being dead serious with you right now. Roughly, proportion-wise, how many men have gone down on you well? Oh, three.

Out of a thousand, that's amazing. Out of five thousand. I, it's not often that it's good. Right. What do you mean? Because to be good, you have to learn the techniques. You have to be in a constant communication with the person that you're pleasuring.

Right. And also one thing I found with women is, well, some women, is that the difference is you can build somebody up to orgasm and if you step off for one second lose momentum or rhythm or position

or whatever or even intensity of like the weight of touch all of those things you have to start I really much people can see the fucking diagrams that you're doing right now

you have to start again from the beginning for a woman for men you don't have to do that that's true you could You could if you really wanted to do something unbelievably off-putting and probably send the man left, yeah. But I mean, like, largely speaking, you build up, you build up,

and you can, the guy will probably be there for a couple minutes, like if you need. Once he's there. He's there for a while. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's on our side. Let's not waste all this blow job, fallacio, gold. But I'm just saying, you made that statement.

You made the point. It's a really good point. I just mean we have a lot of questions coming in. I don't want to waste all this gold. Let's keep some of this fallacious. Let's hear about more blowjob joy. Blow jobs are great. Flo jobs for everyone.

You get a blow job. You get a blow job now. What's the next question? It's Emma from Australia. I'm just wondering if you think blow jobs are something that is owed to partners in relationships. I know a lot of people think that they're. they're a bit of a, a bit of a chore or a bit of a task. But do you think partners are owed blow jobs as much as vagina owning people are owed head?

Thanks. Love your show. It's the best. Bye. Tricky, tricky, tricky question. I mean, you're in a long-term relationship. Yes. And I'm not. And my friend who is, and they have two kids, said to me the other day, I said, okay, I won't name any names.

I know you're talking about already. I said to my partner, if you do this, I'll give you a blowjob. And he was like, fuck, yeah. And I was like, why was he so excited? She was like, because I never do that. I don't like it. And I'm not interested. And I was like, but then why would he even enjoy the one you're going to give him?

Yeah, right. If he knows, this is the general vibe around it. If I was here, I just wouldn't fucking do it if you're that not into it. But I remember her loving giving head. Maybe that's just the long-term nature of the relationship. Yeah, or maybe like sometimes. What? There are various reasons to do with anatomy that some people might enjoy things more or less.

Okay, well the question is, what did the lady ask us from Australia? She said, she said, do you think it's owed? Look, my answer as somebody in a relationship is, I, me personally, this is just me, I do, I, feel like a... I feel like you'd never be like that. I feel... I end up feeling like selfish, yeah, I feel... No, when I was younger, I would definitely... I reckon I was probably more problematic with that kind of stuff

of just taking what I can get. But, I mean, now I definitely feel like it's... I like there being balance. I like there being equity and that includes foreplay. Oh, Jay. Look, I'm such a brilliant man. I'm not even saying it in a wholesome way. It's just like the reality, isn't it? And I enjoy it. So it's like, I just want that to be...

reciprocated you know and if it is then everyone's happy equally i don't mean to bring it up but i'm going to go on that it is um the cause of the cheating and then said breakup in the book right it's a blow job yes you're right there's a book about it i was just wondering because um i wonder if we think of that as um as cheating yes i think so i think the answer is it You know what? I think the answer is, I think it would be wonderful if as we continue to evolve as human beings, you know, we do probably have case-by-case basis, individual nuance on these things. Ultimately, there was an agreement and that agreement was broken.

But people can have different agreements. Trust was broken and it depends on... Yeah, it's based on the agreement. That wasn't agreed. Some people might get into relationships and go, hey, listen, the only thing I think is cheating is full sex. and they go great great i'm just gonna go get my dick suck my people then you get a lit job i'll get a blow job and i'll see you here at four that's really that's really play with this scenario okay let's have another

question i guess our answer is no we believe in equality across relationships when it comes to head what unfortunately will happen in relationships is that the foreplay will fall into what you don't want to get it tangled up with is some kind of like power thing you don't want to regain your power lost in a different space sexually, that's where I can get tricky. You know, if you're feeling disempowered because of something and you're not confronting it that thing, you're going, oh, I'll just get this instead. I'm not sure about that. Me personally, I'm not sure about that.

You're better off. Also, as you said, because you asked me, how many times has someone given me head and it's been good, like, so rarely that I think it just ends up being ratio-wise more me giving head because I'm just not that interested in the other one because I've never really had a great head. Sorry to every ex I've ever had. I feel terrible saying that. But I just think, I think it's harder to do than people think. Men too need that education.

It was, it's literally like, I literally learned through trial and error. Yeah, do you remember an American Pie? There's that book that his like brother tells him about. Casey Affleck plays the older college brother and he's like, there's a book, man. It's in like the library. And it's like all these tips and stuff. No, but it's true. You need that.

I hope this comes up in questions later, learning how to do this. my first, the first head I ever gave. I was fucking terrified, absolutely terrified. And also I've had breaks where I haven't done it in a while. And then you're like, gosh, that thing again. You're fuck, can I still do this? Like, it's a whole thing. But I'm sure that will come up.

Why don't you ask the next question, my fallacious adventurer? What's the next question? Child girlies. I am coming from all the way from Italy, even though I'm born and raised south-east London. My name is JJ and love this. the podcast so much, right? Let's get down to it, blow jobs. I don't like giving them.

I'm a gay man and it's kind of expected, I guess, but I just don't like it. I don't like putting things in my mouth. I don't know where that penis has been. I don't know who's been in that penis. I don't want it in my mouth. And even if it's a partner of mine, I really still don't like to do it.

Am I an asshole or is it really just unsanitary to put someone's penis in your mouth? I just think it's gross. I don't even eat bruises on bananas. Why am I going to put some random freaking dick I'm like, you get the point. Anyways, love you both so much and I can't wait to hear this bad. Kisses.

I'm with you. I think it's totally fine. Listen, this isn't the first time I've heard this. JJ, I am a great, thank you. Italy. Italy. Stand your ground and know who you are, know what you like,

and know what you like putting in your mouth. I think it's absolutely fun. to yeah because again as I said and as you said if there is someone engaging in something that they don't want to do it's not going to be a good time for anyone we need to know we need to yeah I hear that but we need to ask JJ I'm sure JJ's got other tricks up his four place sleeve because he would have had to cultivate other things because he's taking a huge one out I've heard this before um from well actually from gay mates and also from from girlmates as well like which are just like, I am going to, look, hands up, disclaimer, you know, it's a little bit

judgmental. I don't get it. I literally don't get it. And we need to ask JJ whether he likes receiving, because if he does, then fuck that. Then he can fuck off, yeah. Yeah, but that's what I've heard before in the past. I mean, and, you know, there's one case I've heard where they literally just aren't into it entirely, which is like, sure.

I mean, if you can find another way, like, dude, like, if you're super clean, just ask the person to wash in front, you shower in front of you and then stick it in your mouth. Like, it's not. You can ask for said penis to be presented to you in a manner that you see fit. Yeah, we're not asking it to be like a, yeah, it's not like, you know, maybe don't go to a glory hole, do you know, that's like it, really. I think a glory hall might be a bit too much. JJ's sanitary needs, yeah.

No glory holes. Do you know what I'm saying? But I can, I can understand that. That's not for everyone. Do I mean? That's not for everyone. Do they still fucking exist? I thought that was like a Victorian thing.

What? What is a glory hole? It's a hole in a wall. Oh my God. Keats, listen, the gay scene can get, the gay scene can get pretty wild.

So where are glory holes found? I don't know. Yo, Keats, for clarity. I don't know about glory holes. I just, I do know about glory holes,

but I'm saying that I don't. No more than me. I've never, yeah, it's mad to me that you don't know that men go to toilets and stick their penises through walls. I do know that.

I'm just like, is that where they usually, found then, yeah? Like lose. Yes, toilets. I mean, a lot of, I mean, I'm just right now, the play I'm in is written by a man Joe Orton. He was gay when it was illegal to be gay. And that was like, you know, the real, that's when these gay men were finding really fascinating, coded ways of, like, cottaging, for example, was really popular back then. Public toilets in the dark, everybody just shagging each other and then just going home. And they would just look at each other

across a pub or like in an elevator or something and then be like, yeah, we're going to go and just. It's crazy. isn't it? I love the idea of lust being the main driver of something. Like, no, we don't need to get on or fucking check that we have chemistry. Apart from a relationship. Sure, sure, sure. But like, for a sexual act, sometimes maybe you do just need to look at someone's eyes across the room and be like, yep, sure. Like, there's so, dating is such a minefield. Chemistry is such a strange one. Like, there was this guy recently that I thought I really fancied, like really fancied. And we met Like in the light of day at my friend's house in the afternoon,

had a little smoke and a cup of tea. And I was like, this guy's amazing. And then he came to meet me at something. And I just like didn't fancy him at all. I did not want to kiss him at all. And I was like, chemistry is a fucking crazy bitch. Like, it's, if you could bottle it and hold on to it, you'd be very, very powerful.

But it's a tricky game. So sometimes maybe it would be good to just look across a room at someone and be like, shall we just do this? just this bit, bit animalistic. Interesting. Let's have a break from all this fallacious. Just have a bloody minute. And we'll be back for more foreplay on the other side.

Welcome back to Listen Bitch. It's a steamy, steamy afternoon over here. Can we have another question, please? Hi, I'm Zoe. So I didn't kiss a boy until I was like 14, but at that point, everyone around me was already moving on to the next stuff. So I started to devour Cosmo Magazine into like catalog tips. There was one tip in particular that stands out to me to this day regarding, you know, oral.

That was quite ridiculous and it's not very practical. But I'm wondering at what age did you become aware of this new role that was expected of you? And do you have any tips or tricks you remember being told from that age that you just simply can't forget? Mine was sucking on a cough drop with menthol in it. That is all. Bye Oh good shout

How's this How What does that help Because this is tingly No But I get that What I mean

How does that How does that help With tips On how to give oral sex Sucking on a cough sweet It's tingly For the penis Oh got it

Oh right Your mouth is tingley Oh so Pre blow job Sucking on a cough sweet That's minty Yeah.

Interesting. It's actually a really good. It's actually really great advice. Have you experienced that as the receiver? Probably. I just want to say, I'd like to now pose the question to you. Out of all the blow jobs you've ever had, how many have been good? Quite a high number, right?

I was doing a lot of drugs for a long time I think and I'm not even just saying this but so I had to I think I really mean this I just like to say I'm very happy right now yes we know now tell me how many more jobs have been good it's difficult to remember

okay I think that says it all ratio wise they're probably 70 70% right I think there's more I think more I think more women know how to give head than men yes yes yes and also the basic the basic rules of of blow jobs are I think quicker to pick up and actually involve less communication which is kind of wild a lot of it's just do of like a lot of it's just to do with you know moisture licking sink a patient like you know the other things being touched at the same time cradles perhaps like it's just is that those kind of things you know

you're probably going to be okay. But you should really and truly, everybody should just talk, ask, communicate. But I think it's easier to just go into it as a woman. I think with a guy, I just think that I personally think there's a lot more, well, not more necessarily variation, but like women like very different things, man. Yeah.

Well, the lady that was giving us the question, she said that she was talking about Cosmo, right? I remember that there were sort of like sex tips and occasionally oral sex tips, but more just sex tips. and I think that in like men's magazines of that time there wouldn't have been tips it's like you should just know what you're doing

you should just know how to do that no there's there's apps you have no you have absolutely no and also bear in mind I grew up in an era where like boys were just shamed for giving head anyway I've said this before on podcast I won't go into it again yeah it was like shameful yeah it was a thing but we'll talk about that one when we do Kanye Lingus by the way I'm calling them

lick jobs at the moment because there's Cindy you know Cindy Gallup no she's like a sex activist I think she's trying to repackage how people engage with sex and they've changed the terminology and it's like, it's fascinating. I really, you know, I think people should have, people need to remember that like literally everybody has sex

and it's a lot more clumsy and it's just not as hyper-sexualized as we have been led to believe, obviously because, you know, there are certain cream, I'll say cream rouse at the top, that's the wise, wildest, idiotic news right now yeah also what is on my mind

did you almost find it funny when she was because she was quite a slow speaker which is cool and very like mysterious but she went like everybody was doing more than kissing at 14 so I devoured

I was going to be like start devouring penises yes I'm me too so I was like devouring penises so I devoured dick anyway sorry her question was is there any tips that you've been given that you don't think.

Yes, okay, so this what I'm saying, Phoebe taught me. Like, this is what I mean. It was, yes, I said this on a previous episode about books. Amazingly, it came up, which was there. I read a book and a blowjob was in it. I couldn't fucking believe what I was reading. I asked my mom what this crazy act was. She said, that's a blowjob.

And I asked her, do you do that? And she was like, yes, and I was disgusted. And then that was probably about 12. And then by about... And he's never been the same since. Jackin. Sorry, sorry, that's not funny. And I've never been the same since.

No. And then about 13, I was like, I'm going to have to learn how to do this thing and I'm going to have to learn soon. So Phoebe came over to Nannas and like taught me properly with a banana. Right, it's not a joke. Yeah, fair.

And then the first blowjob I gave, my God, I just remembered who it was. What the fuck? This guy called Alan from Squat. No, don't, Keats. I'm trying to save you here. Just skirt over it. No, no, no, no.

No one needs to know your first blow job with a kid called Alan. Firstly, it sounds like you were born in the 1960s. Who the fuck? He was called Alan. But it was like at a flat in Kensington. And I was, yeah, I was terrified. I was really scared.

Yeah, mad. I can't believe you don't think that's an important thing to say on the listen bitch about blowjobs. Sorry, it is. How old were you? I was 16 and I'd only just lost my virginity about three months before. Yeah, mad. It all came at once, if you will excuse the panda.

I'd like to talk about spit or swallow. as well. I think that's an American thing because I don't know many girls that have ever spat and I have to be honest, I've never spat. We need to talk about this. Yeah. Are you uncomfortable? There's both for sure. Okay, so you've experienced both. 100% as a receiver. Good to know. I'm happy a boys here to tell us that. Otherwise me and Lily would never know. Let's have, is it a final? question? I think so. It's just Harriet calling in from South East London. I'm calling in regards to your topic of discussion this week about blowjobs. So me and my girlfriends have

come to the conclusion that if a guy eats spicy food, his gum will taste spicy. Also, if he eats sugar puffs, his cum tastes like sugar puffs. That's just not me finding that out. That's just a discussion that we've had and we've come to that conclusion as a collective. So what are your thoughts on whether a guy eats certain foods that they come tastes a certain way? Love to your thoughts.

Bye. I'm jumping in here immediately for all women listening, for as just an immediate flag, if you're dating a man who eats sugar puffs run. Regardless of how it makes his cup taste. As a casual snack. Sorry, no, I don't mean to. I just, to be honest, this is me being.

silly. I existentially spiral about adults eating cereal. I'm sure everyone does. I just... Really? I find that mental to me. I ate cereal for dinner last night. Is that fucked up to you? It makes more sense as a dessert. I'm actually with you. In fact, if this guy's eating sugar puffs as a dessert, which is pre-sex, you know what? I actually stand

corrected. That makes more sense. Okay. Now, back to his come. Now, you probably won't be able to answer this because you aren't on the receiving end as a straight man. No. Look, pineapple juice. That's the... That's the rumor. Sweet cum, pineapple juice.

I'd love it to taste a bit more pineappily. Just sweeter, apparently. Sweeter. Very nice. That's very sweet. I remember there was a rumor that, like, what was the rumor that people used to say? That it's like really good for a diet or something. Or like it's like cums really beneficial, nutritionally beneficial.

Well, I've been told that eating apples, particularly green apples, makes one's vagina sweeter. Fascinating. So I think it is really important. Do you want to know something absolutely? ridiculous that will further like if i mean if you were shocked by what i'd said on our previous episode wait till you hear this at my school so just with this we would have to talk about some the time but my school was debauch it was debauchery at my school i was in history class girl was like oh i went on saw this guy's dick at the beach you know whatever and then

bear in mind i had like i don't think i had any balls at that point i think they still hadn't dropped yet right like so i'm just there like the fuck we're just going on with these these people anyway So people were fucking sucking, licking all types of shit Like early doors Check this out One girl came up to me in a playground I must have been in year nine And she said to me in all seriousness

She went Is your cum the same colour? I was like what? What as your skin? And she went just because you're black Is your cum the same colour? Okay That's probably why she was far too young

To be sucking dick And I said It's chocolate flavoured Wait no Surely you said, it's chocolate flavoured. That's not funny, but I did. I did. I told her it, it's chocolate flavoured.

And the bitch believed you. She ran off skipping. She went off to get a straw. Do you know what? I think you've just ended this list of bitch with that story. I think that you and that little girl just took us there. You don't want to hear about my first blow job? Yes, please.

I'm not telling you. Thank you so much for Keita. Love that. We'll talk about it another time. Yeah, we'll make sure we'll bring it into the next week's episode. You can pick the next week's theme, but I really, I have one I really want to do. Butter. No?

Sorry, I don't know why I said that. The theme for next week's listen, bitch, is you say it. Villains. So it's very exciting to have my darling Jordan joining us for the next few weeks or so. I'm very excited. I like villains. I'm team Thanos. I don't know what that means

but I like villains too If you not seen Okay no Keith if you haven't seen Marvel before we talk about villains You have to That's your homework this week Get up to date for fuck's sake

Okay I fucking hate Marvel films Why are we doing villains then What are we can talk about fucking nasty Nick Fuck me Definitely and I like Disney villains I wanted to talk about

Jafar from Aladdin You are Do you know what's so hilarious Is you are actually senile I'm realising, I'm realizing you are, Makita, you're turning scene on. No, no, no, I've been interested. You've only referenced culture

from the late 90s and early 90s. You seem to have no awareness. Or the 17th century. And do you know why this is good? Because when you bring your shit, when you bring Marvel, and I bring Jafar, something great is made.

If we were both talking about Marvel, it'd be like any other fucking podcast. Okay, I want you to know that Jafar was also very questionable and Aladdin is arguably deeply racist. There you go. We'll talk about that. Oh, next one.

And it's Jay's favourite film. I'm dating Princess Jasmine. Remember to send your voice notes to 08,3040, 90, 08,0304090. And remember to say, hi, McKee. Hi, Jordan. Let's welcome him to our Miss Me world. Peace up, Aitang down. Big love to all the homies.

Bye, darling. Thanks for listening to Miss Me with Lily Allen and Michaelaver. This is a Persefonica production for BBC Sounds. Hello, you gorgeous people. Are you hungry? Because I bloody am. It comes with the territory when you're referred to as one of the world's leading food critics, which is why I'm doing a new podcast in which I take seriously interesting people out to lunch in a restaurant I reckon they'll like. I'll be pelting my guests with good food and the finest wines known to humanity, while I lightly grill them on great successes, miserable failures, and of course, their weird eating habits. Heck, I'll even Do you a doggie bag too? Well, I won't. This is a podcast, but you can at least join me at the table. Listen now on BBC Sounds.