Miss Me? - Listen Bitch! Joe Le Tax

Episode Date: April 14, 2025

Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver answer your questions about tax.Next week, we want to hear your questions about DREAMS. Please send us a voice note on WhatsApp: [phone]. Or, if you like, send us an email: [e-mail] episode contains very strong language and adult themes. Credits: Producer: Flossie Barratt Technical Producer: Will Gibson Smith Assistant Producer: Caillin McDaid Production Coordinator: Hannah Bennett Executive Producers: Dino Sofos and Ellie Clifford Assistant Commissioner for BBC: Lorraine Okuefuna Commissioning Editor for BBC: Dylan Haskins Miss Me? is a Persephonica production for BBC Sounds

BBC Sounds music radio podcasts. This episode of Miss Me contains very strong language, adult themes and some educational information about the tax system. Welcome to Listen Bitch with me, Lily Allen and my co- not host, just friend, Makita Oliver. I'm not really hosting anything, we're just here being us. Today we're like, you know, colleagues because we're, I really like to set this up as like the school of Lillian McKee to today. Because we're talking about tax and the theme for this week's Listen Bitch is... Tax.

That time of year where we have to pay it. Yeah. I wonder, what is the tax day in England versus here? Because it's the 15th of April here in America. Now, this is the kind of stuff you'd think I know at my own Lillian McGee's tax school. I don't know. Tell me please. It's just going to be a fucking mess today. No, I'll get that information for you, Lillie.

But like, see us like we're in like a kind of like, you know, nice state school, comprehensive in like North London. And I teach geography and you're on the classics. Okay. No, we're joining forces today to be tax teachers, but it's not like our usual role. No, it's not. Can I, I just want to completely off topic because it happened to me this morning and it was really embarrassing and I just need to get it off my chest. Yeah, this is the space for that. It was very windy and I was taking the dog for a walk to the dog park and I was wearing a palace,

like sort of jacket and I had my headphones in and my sunglasses on and holding the dog and I got to the bridge at the end of my road and it suddenly got really really windy and cold and so I pulled my hood up but you know when you've got your headphones in and you pull your hood up and there's not quite enough space and you think you're going to knock one of the headphones out so you kind of like do it in a weird way and then I was like oh and sure enough my right one fell out and then as I pulled like put you know, you know, let go of the hood, I realized that I'd actually gone under my sunglasses and got my sunglasses caught. Cool dude. And so they were like all skew-wiff on my thing and then I was like, oh, getting so

irritated with myself, I couldn't fix it because I had the dog lead in one hand. So I was like, and I was like, oh my God, imagine if there was a paparazzi here capturing this. What do I see? A fucking paparazzi. Just peeking out behind a van up the road. And I'm like, all morning, I've just been like Googling myself,

just like dreading these pictures coming up and me like. And also I had a really high ponytail and so my hood coming over the ponytail, I just looked like a conehead with glasses on It's really embarrassing I'll set an alert. I'll let you know in the Daily Mail splash that all up all up on the page It's all right. Lil you're a cool dude. I promise. Okay. No, it was I looked really bad Really really not looking forward to those pictures coming out. Okay.

They're definitely coming. I know it, it's just a matter of time. They are coming. I wish I could tell you they weren't. And it will be one day this week when I'm feeling particularly shit about something. Something bad will have happened. My rash is gonna have like spread somewhere

to my private parts. And then just boom, it's gonna be like, I'm gonna be sitting in the dermatologist, like having a panic attack and then suddenly it's like, oh, here they are, here they are. This is an opportunity and I've had to learn this a lot recently. Every crisis is actually an opportunity and in Chinese or I think Chinese, I may be wrong, some language that's not English, a crisis and opportunity mean the same thing. So this opportunity could be asking the Daily Mail to try and put a positive spin on this

story and just give her a fucking break. So I wonder if there's any kind of creative journalist listening thinking, I could do that. No, I can tell you what it would be like. Lily Allen cuts a confused figure trying to navigate her way around her headphones and her sunglasses and her dog. God, Lily, you'd actually be a really good Daily Mail journalist. Don't I know it. Something to think about. Right, we should probably get on with our school. Gate's open, the bell's rung. It's time to go to your first class. Can we have our first question for this week's Listen Bitch? We're educating the world about tax.

We don't know anything about it. Hi. Makita and Lily love the show. I feel like it's so comforting and interesting to listen to. I'm gonna ask this question. My name is Sarah. I'm in Sydenham. Oi, oi, oi. I'm to ask this question in a Scouse accent.

What do we actually pay a tax for? Like, where does it go? And what does it get spent on? I moved into a new building and they tried to charge us for a bin replacement and I feel like that's not on. Like don't we pay tax for those reasons like bins and stuff? Like we shouldn't be paying for bins, right? Okay, love you guys, bye. It's a really valid question. Why the Scouse accent out of nowhere though? I thought it worked quite well.

What do we pay tax for? What do we actually pay tax for anyway? Yes, well, the main things are hospitals, schools and roads. That's literally what comes up. Infrastructure. Absolutely. And I think bins should come under that. Absolutely.

Additional bin men fees would grate me. Well there's income tax and then there's council tax. Oh yes. And then there's VAT. Of course. We're going to go through all three today. There's all the different types of tax. Well council tax is so expensive. I'm pretty sure bins are covered under council tax.

Yeah, come on Hackney, let's hope so. I think council tax is the one, because I move a lot. Whenever I move into a new flat, you start to set up for your new bills. You're like, oh, shit, council tax. It's really expensive. And so when anything goes wrong in your area, you're like, what the fuck am I paying for? And I have to say that happens quite a lot. But I was thinking about bin men the other day and how bloody hard they work.

That is a job. I always give my bin men a nice bonus at Christmas. Oh, that's nice though. That's good. Yeah, I don't think there's anyone that works harder and people are just a bit dismissive of bin men. Imagine if no one was cleaning our bins. We'd live in squalor. It'd be a disaster. It'd be rats everywhere. Oh, there are. Not so much here. Not so much here. Oh, not true. I was reading an article this weekend about how there's like a power plant in Somerset that's been completely overrun with rats. My goodness me. Why was I reading an article about that? I don't know.

Just trying to keep yourself busy, aren't you? Yeah. The question you've asked is what are we paying for? Yes, you should be paying for your bins. So whoever's charging you that extra, it sounds like a dodgy landlord to me. Oh, we've got a special guest. We have a very special person that we actually don't know the identity of, but we've been

told they're special and that they are knowledgeable on this subject. Hi there, Makita and Lily. It's Ed Balls here, host of the Political Currency podcast with George Osborne. In a former life when he was the Chancellor, I was the Shadow Chancellor. And before that, I was the Chief Economic Advisor to the Treasury under Gordon Brown and Tony Blair. Now, your fabulous producers have asked me to give you a brief explainer on taxation. They say there's only two things which are definitely certain in life, death and taxes. And taxes are what we all have to pay, whether we're people or businesses,

to government to help finance the government's activity and services, education, policing, national health service, defence. Sometimes they are levied by the national government, education, policing, national health service, defence. Sometimes they are levied by the national government, sometimes by local authorities, local government too. In the UK, taxes collected by HMRC, which is His Majesty's Revenue and Customs. Last year, they collected over 800 billion pounds in taxes.

So I hope that helps. Yeah, very much so. Yeah, thanks Ed Balls. That felt like the smart history teacher just came into our class to sort it out a bit and just explain what we were trying to explain. Thank you. What school this would be? Meketa Oliver, Lily Allen, Ed Balls just joined the team. Who will be next? Ooh, let's have a question from Ed Balls. He's got a question for us. Come on then.

Let's not balls it up. And a question for you. If there's one tax that you could abolish, which one would you get rid of? And more importantly, if you were chancellor for the day, what's the one thing which at the moment we don't tax, which if you introduced a new tax on that good would be a really good way, popular way to raise some extra revenue. If you were Chancellor for the day, where would you raise an extra tax?

This is great. Thank you Ed. I would get rid of inheritance tax. That one's cruel. No, I mean, sorry, I would not get rid of it. I would increase it. Wait, isn't inheritance tax, the money that you inherit gets taxed because of someone dying in your family, so you're obviously in grief and might really need the money to pay for funeral costs. Yeah, but it's also like how rich people stay really rich.

How? By inheriting all of their parents' money and not paying tax on it. Right, yes, okay. But I feel like I've heard about people, think about the fact that you've inherited money. So someone's had to die that you love and care about. So I feel like you should just get all the money because you're going through one of the worst things in the world anyway. Well, maybe it depends what kind of wealth bracket you're in.

I think maybe there should be a cap. So like, you know, if you come from a low income family and your mom or your dad has been saving forever to be able to pass that money down to you and then they die and you get taxed massively on it, that's not so fair. But if you're, you know, a billionaire and you die and give get taxed massively on it, that's not so fair. But if you're a billionaire and you die and give your money to your kids

and they don't pay anything on it, that would be unfair. I think this is really good. I also think there should be a tax for the super wealthy. I think there probably is, it just manages to get avoided somehow. Well, just like a one-off or just like you're in this high bracket, you should be taxed like this. Yeah, I think a one-off or just like you're in this high bracket, you should be taxed

like this. Yeah, I think they should pay the same, you know, income tax levels that exist now, but then there should be an extra like surcharge for being super wealthy. Just like a little 1% or like 2% or something. Yeah, just a little shave off the sides. I also think VAT can do one after paying a really big VAT bill recently. Because VAT feels like, okay, let's explain exactly what it is because I don't think Ed went into it. So I'll take over the class. Value added tax, which is money that is added by the government to goods and trading, which you then get. This is what I hate. You get given this money to then pay it back to the government.

Why the fuck? Don't make me part of it. Just you. How about you just keep that money and don't make me sort of money launder it for you. I don't understand why we have to be involved in the government giving themselves back and forth tax money. Do you understand what I'm saying? I do understand what I'm saying?

I do understand what you're saying. Value added tax comes to you and then you have to take the exact amount off and pay it to you the VAT bill back to the HMRC. I don't understand why a human being has to even be involved in that kind of stuff. Wish we had Ed Balls here to explain it. He's left now. He's on his fag tea break around the back. I just say that I also ran the London marathon with Ed Balls so we kind of have history. I actually did beat him I think I beat him. That's quite a ballsy thing to say I may not have but I may have beaten him.

Let's get a question from someone who's not Ed Balls because it will be just as interesting. Hi my name is Ella I'm from Cambridge. I was wondering if you guys had any tax horror stories because I am rubbish at sorting out money. I find the whole thing very stressful and the fact that I'm to do my own tax returns just boggles my mind and I wonder if you guys had any experience with that. Yeah, just a little. Just a little. Who wants to go first? You can go first. And I wonder if you guys had any experience with that? Yeah, just a little. Just a little. Who wants to go first?

You can go first. Do you think, don't you feel like? Hopefully it will be so long that I won't even have to get to mine. That's what I'm banking on. Oh my god. Excuse the pun. I was going to say, I feel like yours is the crescendo

to my finale, though. No, let's keep my idea and you just do yours. Okay. Let me just get out the terrible press stories about me that Flossie, our producer. No, why don't you tell it from your side of the story first? Sure. Really quickly. Yes, I went bankrupt when I was 27, I think it was 2011.

And I mean, I have to be honest, I talk about it quite a lot, but seeing these press reports that Floss sent me that I asked for, it's pretty upsetting and traumatizing. But yes, I knew nothing about tax, absolutely nothing. I come from parents who know nothing about tax and they didn't think to ask me whether I was paying tax on the money that I was earning and I was earning a lot of money. I didn't ask, but I did have a really good accountant. It's not his fault. As I said-

What? It's literally their job is to pay your tax for you, is to put your tax money aside for you. He's a really nice guy, but I don't know whether it was his fault, Lil, because I didn't listen. He'd be like, you've got a VAT bill coming in of this amount. Have you saved it? Remember I told you to? You've got to pay that. I'd be like, okay. And then VAT bill coming in of this amount. Have you saved it? Remember, I told you to. You've got to pay that.

And I'd be like, OK. And then after a while, I just stopped doing that. I did it for about six years. And then for about three years, I just maybe I don't know how long I got away with it. But I just was like, this tax VAT stuff is starting to really intimidate me and scare me. And I don't understand it. So I'm just going to start not paying it and hiding from it. Was it just the VAT that you didn't pay or did you not pay your income tax?

I think it was a bit of both because when I read the article today, it reminded me that it was a hundred and seven Just over a hundred and seventy grand bill. Whoa that I didn't pay I know So it must have been like income tax plus lots of unpaid VAT bills And then of course, you know, he did say like, this is getting really serious. And I was just like, I can't do this. Because also my, yeah, my life was going into disarray. So I was like, I can't be also losing all my money. What is this bankruptcy thing he keeps talking about? I don't understand because like, I've had a couple of accountants since I was, you know, 18 or 19 when I first started working.

And mine have always, like every time that I get paid, they just take half of it and put it in an account for tax. Yeah, I was, I sort of did that for a bit. And I can't touch that until the end of the year and then they go in there and they take the money out and they put it. I mean, I know that because that's my life now, but it just wasn't like that. I had too much access to my money and that wasn't in place. It wasn't like that. Well, I think that is your accountant's fault.

But he was a good accountant. Oh, it's literally the definition of a bad accountant. Like not putting money aside for you to pay your taxes. Yes, I guess so. Anyway, so then I hide from this thing forever for about a year and then it gets too serious and I have to go to this place. I just read their name. They were called Baker Tilly, like a proper dragon in my life. And you have to go to a very big meeting with lots of very serious people and you are in

trouble. It's not like, God, I'm not in trouble. I just have to go meet these people. No, no, no, you're in trouble. You've taken the piss. It's not like, God, I'm not in trouble. I just have to go meet these people. No, no, no, you're in trouble. You've taken the piss. It's like quite personal. And I think it's because it's about the government. It's a bit like, who do you think you are

to just make all this money and not pay the government? It was really like vicious, I would say. I was really young. Well, it is quite a serious charge not paying your taxes. All right, yeah, but okay. I understand how you felt, but also at the same time. Yes, but I wasn't a criminal. Well, I mean, but the thing is, how are they to know?

Because there are quite a lot of really wealthy people who do not pay their taxes. I wasn't some sort of Machiavellian rich person. I just didn't know what I was doing and I didn't have any advice and I didn't have the right advice. I know, but that's not an excuse because if it was an excuse,

then people will just go into those meetings and play dumb and just be like, nobody ever told me about tax. I didn't know what I was doing. That would be what everyone did to get out of it. But that's the thing, I wasn't asking for a cuddle and I wasn't playing dumb. I just thought they were quite vicious with the punishment, but of course they have to be because I'd broken

the law as it were. I didn't go to jail. Do you think I could have gone to jail? I don't know how serious it has to be to go to jail. You can go to jail for tax evasion yeah for sure. No but do you think what my debt was big enough because I didn't that never came up so I wonder what I would have had to do for that to be on the cards as well. Cause that would have been really, really, really scary. Um, so yeah. And then, uh, so what the really hardest part is, uh, it happens twice. It's like two little deaths. And the first one is when they tell you, you get interviewed about everything in

your life and they explain to you what you, what they think you can still have and what you shouldn't have. And I had a flat and they said, no, you don't need a flat. You can live with your mom. Quite presumptuous. Yes, quite. My mom would be like, fuck off. Quite presumptuous, my mom stayed me in.

I'd be like, no, I can't do that. I cannot do that. I didn't want to, Lil. It was intense going back to the family, to bed actually. But I did it. But the second death is the press when it comes out in the press. And it didn't come out in the press for six months, so I thought I was okay.

But the press, the darling press, looked for these stories and found it quite easily. And this is just what I wanted to say about, actually it's probably part of the second death is not just they talk about my bankruptcy, but they start to align bankruptcy with all the language that they used against me about being grubby and all that stuff. It's just horrible. Can you explain that? So what do you mean? I just always use the same language about me being grubby or chubby, sort of messy and dirty. So when I went bankrupt, they just- And bankrupt.

No, this was before. So you mean like building up to this, you felt like the adjectives that they would use for you would be like grubby or chubby or whatever, and then the bankruptcy stuff happened and then that became the word that they used for you. And then it was like this horrible perfect marriage, yeah. And that, I think I've just found that really hard because it wasn't about a financial mistake I'd made, it was about this idea of who I was anyway. Like a sort of messy, troublesome, Elfin creature. But not Elfin, like disgusting troll actually.

Like, and it was just, it was just really hard a lot to have on your shoulders when you're so young and your life's been so public since you were so young. So yeah, it was a very long time ago, fucking hell. Seeing that press today, it just like brought it all back. And I was just like, wow, I really, really went through something. Yeah.

But it's all right. Oh, babe, I'm sorry that you still feel so much about it. It's well and truly in your past and you've got hold on things. You know, the journey has been incredible from where I'm sitting. So yeah, no, it doesn't feel it doesn't actually come up that much. It was just seeing that press. It was like, oh, wow, made it all real again. But I'm proud of that little girl that got through that.

But also you was really young, like, you know, you're not meant to have it all figured out by that age. But onwards and upwards. Yeah. So that's bankruptcy. That is kind of like I just think it's important that people understand like what it means because I think you hear that word a lot, but you don't really understand the process. Yes. I definitely didn't know. So that is bankruptcy. Try your best to not have to go through it. And if you ever have to try and learn everything you can from it, because I

will never go through that again, because I would never let that happen to myself again. So we say thank you bankruptcy actually. Yeah. I think yours went on so long. I don't think I need to do mine. I don't think you do. I don't think you do. I think what we need more is another question. Little pick me up.

Hi, Lillian Makita. This is Niall from Sheffield. I'm the chief operating officer of Warp Films. We recently had Adolescents out on Netflix, which you may have seen, and we currently have Reunion on BBC One, which is a revenge thriller set in the deaf community. Both these series benefited from the high-end TV tax credit,

and there are currently discussions about how this could be improved to protect and encourage the industry in this country. It's really important to get good tax advice. So my question to you is, could you give us an example of some good or bad tax advice that you've had? Thanks a lot. Bye. Okay. I suddenly felt like I was in a really official room being questioned. Good or bad tax advice. I mean, I just, I can't think of it. I mean, it's just like pay your taxes.

That's all the advice that I have and that I've been given. So you've never sort of asked more questions throughout like your journey of paying tax? No, I just leave it to, I mean, listen, I'm not saying that I've got it by any means right because I really don't. And I'm sure that there have been people

like fiddling the books because they know full well that I'm not looking but I just like money, business, numbers just freak me the fuck out. I really didn't know that you know until we started doing this. I always thought you were very good with that stuff. Yeah I'm super intimidated by it, no I hate it. But you're just I think you're someone that's always just hired the right people, even though you're saying you feel like some people have been diddling books behind your back. But I feel like you knew to even hire people, I suppose, to get an accountant early. You bought property early. I feel like you've been given good advice with things like that.

I think, you know, all the good advice, if you get paid, like, you know, I'm self-employed, obviously. So like I get paid like, you know, I'm self-employed obviously, so like I get, you know, paid advances or whatever and so I guess the piece of advice or that I've been given or just the rule that I've lived by is like, don't spend money that you're gonna have to pay in tax. Yeah. And actually that is the one bit of trouble that I did get into was that I got sued by somebody for quite a large amount of money and I had to pay them that money and I didn't have the funds to pay them the money so I had to dip into my tax account. And so my tax account got emptied and I thought I might be able to make it up in time. And then tax time of year came around and we wrote to HMRC and asked if we could, you know, work out some sort of a deal where I could pay in installments. And they just went, no, you can't. So I had

to sell my house. Yeah, I have to say, I can't believe after how much money you'd made and how much tax you'd been paying for years by that point that there wasn't even any room for a discussion. My accountant at the time said it was highly unusual that they would just shut you down and say no. So that's our good and bad tax advice. Mine would be, yeah, yeah, pay your taxes. And bad advice, don't pay your taxes.

Let's have a little break. Let's have a little recess. Go have a sneaky fag in the back. Yeah. Welcome back! Welcome back to class, everyone. Everyone ready to be educated? Continued to be educated. Pencils at the ready. Can we have another question for this week's Listen Bitch? Hello Lily and Makita, it's Lois, I live in Leeds, I'm just walking to work. And I'm not going to lie, tax wasn't the subject I thought I'd be sending a voice note in. But I just want to talk about how annoying it is being the one person in the household that

has to be the one that pays the tax because it's only one person per household. And every month chasing my housemates to be like, please, can you pay me that money for the council tax is just so annoying. And obviously they should be paying me that because that's, we split it three ways, but I still feel like such a beg being like, can you please pay me that money for the council tax? So yeah, I just want to talk about that and how I hate being a beg. But love you both, I think you're so sick and I am going to miss out on Missing Me Live. Hopefully you'll do one in the north. Woo! You never know, Lois. Why is it her that has to be the person that has to collect it from other people? I don't know.

I've never had a flatmate so I don't know about this. You haven't have you? Because we did flatmates with Jordan and I think I did it because I guess subconsciously I knew that you'd never really ever had that experience. This gets so messy Lil. Like bills, where your house sharing, oh my god. One flatmate made me use, what's that software or like app?

Something books. Yes. QuickBooks. QuickBooks. And it's like, it got too much. I only know about that because of the Keeping Up With The Kardashians where Scott Dijsdijk is like trying to interview an accountant. I mean an assistant. Oh yeah. And he's like, do you use QuickBooks? And the guy's like, yes.

What do you read it for? Reading quickly, no. I'm sorry, no, I think I fucked up now because I think I watched that episode and that's why I think it's QuickBooks. It's not QuickBooks. When you're like living with someone, you like put like, I paid this, I've bought a cucumber.

And it's like a green app. Split wise. Bane of my life. Split wise, it starts all like big things. It's like, yeah, yeah, like I paid the council tax. Okay, I'll pay you back for that. And then it becomes like yogurts. And then it's a cucumber. And you're like, I'm not playing this game with you. And then you're like, actually trying to pretend you still want to live together. It's hard. Actually, it can break down relationships, Lois.

I totally understand. Remind those people that you live with that council tax is the stuff that like keeps your area running. So I'm sure they like their bins. I'm sure they like their bins being cleaned. I'm sure they like, you know, the local leisure center being turned into a nice better gym for them. The police

patrolling their streets to make them feel safe. So remind them that council tax is about their immediate surrounding selfish bastards. I'm never living in a house ever again. I can't handle it. Okay, next question please. Let's have another one. Hi girls, my name is Zoe and I'm from London. My question for you about taxes, what are we even supposed to put on it? Can we put all of our dinners? Can we put nights out or is that taking the mick? Yeah, it's not the 80s anymore babe. What are they? It used to be.

What does she mean? Does she mean like business expenses? I think what she's talking about is a self-assessment form, which no, we really don't have any experience with. Yeah, I would like to know, actually, I should have asked to get some research done on this about tax and childcare. If you can use childcare against as a business expense. I doubt it, because I'm thinking we need to talk about childcare prices because the things I've been hearing recently, I don't really know anyone that can afford to send their kids to nursery. And that is people of like five or six different, really different earning

brackets. Yeah, I know. It's outrageous. And then the red pill brigade are always like wondering why women don't want to get married and have babies anymore. It's like, mm. The red pill brigade. That's a good name for them. I've been employed since I was, self-employed, sorry, since I was 16. So I've never done that. We really shouldn't have chosen this as a subject, Matt. So neither of us know anything about tax.

No, I think we've actually been informative because people don't even talk about this at all. So to even just talk about it is educational. I'm sorry, we've been in service today. So I think self-assessment, we can just say we know nothing about them. Good luck to you all. But on the childcare front,

it's kind of ridiculous that like, you know, if you're a bloke, you can probably, sorry, I know it's a bit generalizing, but like you can probably claim your membership to a country club so that you can go and play a round of golf with your business mates as a business expense. But as a woman, you wouldn't be able to claim childcare as a business expense. Right. Even though it enables you to go to work. Yeah. I really would love to know because that would really solve a lot of childcare issues. If it was just you can just claim it back on your tax.

Wow. Yeah. You can't put food right. If your turnover is 40 grand and you claim 10 grand in allowable expenses, you only pay tax on the remaining 30. Oh my God, I've switched off. Yeah. You started reading out numbers and I just went, bye.

Goodbye. Just going to look on Instagram now. Class dismissed. Let's have a final question. Lily, please give me a school pun for our tax school. What? Please give me a school pun, like, you know, like final class of the day for the last question, something schooly, like we're going to our next lesson.

That's the bell. Can you remember school? I felt like maybe more like we'd do a pun on like... Tax. Tax. Like je le tax. That's quite good. Je le tax.

Je le taxe. Je le taxe. In honor of the Vanessa parodies, can we have another question for this week's theme, which is Je le taxe. Hi Lillian Makita. My name's Ross. I'm from Glasgow and I'm

35. I'm currently working as a support worker, but I'm trying to open up my own small music shop. So with taxe, and if I'm 35 currently working as a support worker but I'm trying to open up my own small music shop so with tax and if I'm running my own business it'll be hard to get my heads around tax and that's kind of the most off-putting aspect of going forward with it all. I mean maybe it's my ADHD with lack of attention to numbers and bills but I've always struggled with stuff like that council tax and even just things like wage slips. So I was wondering like financially

how you deal with the tax aspect of business mentally, and if you get any tips on how you don't let it get too overwhelming. Anyway, I've not missed an episode of the show and I love you both so much. Bye. Thank you. Thank you for trusting us with this bit of advice.

I would say ask questions. Since bankruptcy, I've not stopped asking questions. I don't feel like there's any part of personal finance. Let's be honest, this is like we're talking about how we look after ourselves financially as independent human beings in the world. And if you're scared of the unknown, it gets scarier. So it's just really about not being too scared to just like be like, what is VAT and why does it exist? Or, you know, like, what is the difference between income tax and corporation tax? I just asked loads of questions and I'm educating myself

so that I never have to go see Baker Tilly again in the city. Not doing that again. So stay curious, keep asking questions, and that's why I think today was a very important day. I think we did some educating. Okay, yeah, Lily's putting makeup on. She's already left the classroom. I will dismiss the class and give you the theme for next week's Listen Bitch, which is...

Dreams. Dreams, dreams, when we had just our X-Tings. Well done, you. To quote myself. To quote myself. To grow up myself? I might do something. I might do something. I might look into every nearly Allen song that has the word dreams in it, and we'll have a little sing song. Okay.

That's exactly what you want to do next week. But yeah, remember, it's not just the dreams we have at night time when we sleep, but it's our dreams and aspirations out in the world, of course, as well. Of course, that as well. Let's take it as far as we can go that's really wide in the net but I have been having some trippy dreams so I'd like to discuss them my mom had an anxiety dream about me last night called me in the middle of the night oh no oh my god she said that I choked on an apple yeah and she had to give me like the Heimlich Remover. Maneuver. Maneuver, even.

Mm. Remover. Heimlich Remover. Have you heard about the Heimlich Remover? We're going to let you go back to bed now, Lilz. Oh wait, just do the number. Oh, eight thousand, thirty, forty, ninety. You must know it by now, world. Okay, bye. Bye. You must know it by now, world. Okay, bye! Bye! Thanks for listening to Miss Me with Lily Allen and Makita Oliver.

This is a Persephoneka production for BBC Sounds. I'm Helena Bonham Carter and for BBC Radio 4, I'm back with a brand new series of history's secret heroes. Radio 4, I'm back with a brand new series of History's Secret Heroes. And he tells her that she will be sent to France as a secret agent, she will work undercover, and if she's caught, she's going to be shot. Join me for more stories of unsung heroes, acts of resistance, deception and courage from World War II. Subscribe to History's Secret Heroes on BBC Sounds.